Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Be yo' own damn Valentine first... please


Whew! There's a lot of bitterness towards Cupid in these streets. Folks just railing away about love gone awry, being led astray, torn asunder and what not. Alright, we get it - it's hard out here. Finding and keeping "good love" is truly the pursuit of a lifetime. 

It's tough and then those darned Romans who felt the need to make a festival for every damn thing, decided to celebrate a group of Christian martyrs - one of whom may have been named Valentinus and 1600 years later it has devolved into the red and pink pressure cooker of a spectacle that is today. (How it came to be about romantic love and a chubby baby wielding a lethal weapon, I'll never understand)

I think we can all agree that Valentine's Day is one of those holidays that is doing the most. This whole glorification of romance has gotten uber-commercialized along the way. People set expectations, people get depressed, people cut a fool - it's a mess out there. The pressure to have a date/be in love/be in a relationship/be validated by flower delivery/the list goes on... it's real and so unnecessary. Some make the most of the day, some crumble under the pressure, others dodge it all together. The number of Twitter announcements screaming "My s/o broke up with me the day before Valentine's Day" yesterday was ridiculous. Breaking up with your boo to get out of Valentine's Day is so damn ratchet, people. 

Oh and fellas, please stop acting like the ladies are the only ones pressed about Valentine's Day. Some of your brethren are flagrant with the thirst out here on these innanets. Eau de Desperation is not sexy on anybody. Chill  out. 

So maybe you have a Valentine, maybe you don't. (Maybe yours is 7000 miles away :-/) Either way, this year - how about you love you some you first? There's a Valentine that always knows what you want before you even speak. Pick yourself up a little something nice for dinner and raise a toast to another year with someone who truly cares about you. There are worst things to be than single, good people. Get through the day with a smile (and a sip or two if needed). Tomorrow, you'll still be you and you should okay with that.

Thoughts, comments, insights?

27 comments:

Melzie said...

LOL! I totally agree, Chele. If loving one another was a normal, everyday kind of thing I don't think it would be such a big deal to some folks.

P.S. Ignore my woe is me post...I felt the pressure the other day...lol

taut_7 said...

this is my first year without a valentine is maybe 7-8 years and i'm all the way cool with that. you're right, you should love yourself and be your own valentine first. the thirst and the shade i've seen on twitter for the past week or so has been both comical and sad.

Only1DivaC said...

Thank you for your post on this today. It was right on time. My co-workers were making fun of me last week after I told them that I was going to 2 concerts (Cirque du Soleil Michael Jackson Experience and Chris Botti) by myself. I told them laugh if they want but I love me some me and actually enjoy my own dang company. Yesterday they had the nerve to ask for information about the Cirque du Soleil after I told them I had a blast.

GammasWorld said...

It's been a minute, okay damn some years, since I had a Valentine.  Makes me wish I hadn't told the ex don't be spending $200 for some flowers you can get for $25 the day after this love fest.  But I digress.   This holiday, unfortunately along with so many others, has taken commercialization to a whole new level.  I have to admit this is the one holiday that I put the least amount of emotion into.  I'd much rather my guy surprise me on March 9 then today when he's "supposed" to.   But not to put a damper on the day for you lovebirds.  HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY BOUGIELAND!   Our hostess speaks truth as usual.   

Miz JJ said...

I was single longer than I've been in a relationship, but the one thing I always tried to be was happy for those in love and happy to be in my own skin. It takes you further in the long run.

thinklikeRiley said...

Preach mama. Riley will be taking Riley out for dinner this evening. 

Pure Choco said...

Needed this one today - thanks!

bashowell said...

I've never been much for Valentine's and I am very glad to not have the stress of it this year.  Or last year.  Or...

GuessImJay said...

Instead of doing up Valentine's Day, we re-tiled the master bathroom. #Romance

TrulyPC said...

" how about you love you some you first"  Love it!  This statement is truth that gave me all that I needed to ENJOY my own company without ever feeling lonely.

Since I am more of an events person, V-Day doesn't have much hold over me because when I'm a duo I don't really care much about stuff (although sparkly things are nice).  I remember the moments created far longer.

maureen said...

Single, even when I was in are relationship I never made a big deal about it. You are right, Valentine is highly commercialized these days. I had to buy my 3 y.o niece cupcakes for Valentine celebration at the daycare.

Tonda Williams said...

LOVE this post... I'm happier today than I have EVER been and although I am dating, no SPECIFIC, TITLE-WEARING  s/o today. I've decided to have a day enjoying all of the people and things that bring me immeasurable joy....That INCLUDES BOUGIELAND...I love me some ya'll too!.....

Deb B said...

New guy this year but we're going lowkey. Dinner in, early to bed ;)
Spent more Valentine's Day dates in misery or alone than I care to think about. Like you said, it's just a day.

Trey Charles said...

A bunch of us are doing the group outing to Trey Songz/Ne-Yo concert.
Ms. Chele refuses to go and keeps referring to Trey as a "Chicken-Chested Warbler"
Shout out to Dave in Barcelona getting his Skype on.
Way too much pressure on this one day. Be easy, everybody.

Tonda Williams said...

Yeah I'm on the Chicken Chested train with Chele, but have fun.....ROFLOL

CaliGirlED said...

Take yourself to Mastro's, you'll appreciate ya!

CaliGirlED said...

"The pressure to have a date/be in love/be in a relationship/be validated
by flower delivery/the list goes on... it's real and so unnecessary."<----This has always pretty much been my attitude. If I'm with someone fine, if I'm not, fine. We can treat it as special, or just another day. What you do those other 364/365 days out of the year is just as important. (Ok ok  ok my birthday will get you a side-eye if you don't come correct! LOL)

MsJamie14 said...

Breaking up with your boo to get out of Valentine's Day is so damn ratchet, people. 

Folks still doing this huh? Ratchet indeed.

I've been m own biggest fan and favorite person for about 34 years now. Everyday's a celebration. LOL

MsJamie14 said...

Me too. And let me not even start on Ne-yo. *barf* LOL.

Loving the group outtings tho.

Penny said...

My colleague is the faculty advisor to the the Kappa Alpha Psi chapter on campus.  He had the line bring all the ladies in the office red or white flowers.  What smiles we all had.

La said...

I've been miserable for exactly 1 Valentine's day; I was in college and had just gone thru a bad breakup. That evening I got a knock on my dorm door. It was my best friend, who'd cut her own date short, grabbed us a mini cake from a bakery, and shown up with 2 forks. That was my last miserable Vday because I realized that I have an abundance of love in my life that I shouldn't take for granted just because some of it didn't happen to come from a SO.

This year I am single, and I don't go overboard for Vday, but I don't hate it either. It is highly commercialized but I figure if the consequence of that includes seeing people happy and smiling and feeling loved, it's certainly not the worst thing.

AppleBerryMIA said...

With or without a valentine, this day has always been Amy's holiday. Spa date and a nice meal at home with the beverage of my choosing and chocolate. Now that I have someone to share it with mo' betta but I always made this day about me so I was never disappointed. 

bashowell said...

Right there w/y'all and the anti-Trey/Ne-Yo...chicken (chest) and egg (head)

GrownAzzMan said...

I just never felt any pressure to be with someone on V-Day. In fact for years I used to declare a dating moritorium. No one new from my birthday (November) until after V-Day. Didn't want the holiday pressure on anything new. Now it's all academic but that worked for me and being single on Feb. 14 was not an issue.

Kim (✿◠‿◠) said...

I normally give blood on Valentines Day.  I wasn't able to this year, the fibroid I had left me anemic, still tryna get to  %1oo.   It's just a day really.

GammasWorld said...

This right here is romance!  

Lady4Real said...

I personally love Valentines Day and hate when it is marred by the bitterness of others. When I was a little girl my Dad and my StepUncle always gave me a card a box of chocolates. I watched my Dad do something sweet for me, my sister and my Stepmom every year. When I reached 13 my very good homeboy agreed to by my Valentine for the day, that night he asked me to be his Valentine forever. When I was 14 he gave me a gold ring, 15 a fake diamond ring, 16 he proposed, 17 we enjoyed spending the day with our son, 18-26 I cried every Valentine's day because he wasn't my Valentine. 26 we had a slide show, 27 he surprised me with a beautiful lunch, 28 he took me out of town. For me Valentine's day is a representation of the day my first love, my first everything became a part of my life and will be apart of my life forever.

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