Wednesday, February 01, 2012

Age ain't nuthin' but a number: How low will you go?


I'm over 40 so as much as I might eye up Cam Newton like he's freshly grilled lobster dipped in drawn butter laying on top of roasted garlic smashed potatoes next to a chili-rubbed filet mignon... that ship has sailed. (I also might be hungry but that's a different topic)

I gotta just say no to young men that I could have given birth to. That's my line in the sand. [Though um, Cam - you know - if you  are reading this, we can be friends. Special, special friends. Once or twice.]

As it is, Le Dude is over five years younger than me and every once and a while we bump into an issue where I have to remind him, "You needed to catch me in my late twenties, early thirties for that to work." He just rolls his eyes for the most part though I did catch him muttering, "Some days I feel older than you." under his breath. Side-eye to you, sir.

I don't really get the cradle-robbing feel with David. The age difference is less than a decade. He's his own man, mature in his own right, chockful of his own ideals and opinions and not in need of a second mother. 

But I ran into a guy from high school the other day. He graduated a year or so before me (read he's older) but appears to have kept himself looking right. When I saw him, he had a young girl on his arm that I assumed was his daughter. I thought this because she was rocking some clothes that shouted "this is my first new outfit that wasn't purchased in the juniors department" and she called him Daddy. So picture me schooling my face into blankness when he pulled her forward and introduced her as DeeDee, his bride to be. DeeDee might be able to drink legally in the state of Texas. May. Be. Either way, he's got a good 20+ years on her.

I was uber-conflicted. On the one hand, do you bruh. On the other hand - this was easier before I had nieces and nephews. The eldest BougieNephew is eighteen now and if he rolled up in here with a woman my age, I might be cutting some eyes. Then again, who am I to tell Stella how to get her groove back? (Though that didn't work out so well, did it?) Moving on...

On the flip, when I was still unattached and looking to get my mingle on, I kept getting approached by Cat Daddy and dem. (or is it Cap Daddy? Whichever, you know what I mean). This cat:

Or this cat:
I'm not ready. So ten years up or down is my cut off. Or maybe it's not as much the number as a state of mind? A way of being?  I just read a book where the hero is 50 and fights like hell not to fall in love with this 29 year old woman but they had this really cool vibe and they understood each other. And the whole book, I'm wondering - that's not so bad is it? I mean they're both adults. Different generations but if they like it...

My point and my question to you is this - how young is too young? Not just for you but for everybody. I'm not talking statutory here, people. Let's not break any laws. I'm just wondering if there's a number at which the union seems... unbalanced? Too much May to too much December? Or is it hard enough to find love without attaching an age limit of an expiration date to it? Do tell...

180 comments:

TNDRHRT said...

Good Morning, BougieLand!  I'm with you, Chele, on the dating age range.  I'll be 41 in 17 days (#teamaquarius) and the minimum age for a guy I'd date is 30/31.  I actually prefer mid-30s, but the young 'uns love me for some reason.  I once dated a guy 13 years younger than I.  I was 35 and he was 22.  Don't judge me. :)  Surprisingly, not too many older, older men holla at me.  I'd date someone no older than 50.  My mom is 60 so I don't want to enter her dating territory.  The oldest guy I've ever dated was 10 years older.  Had just moved to DC.  I was 28 and he was 38.  Kept trying to be my father.  No bueno.

taut_7 said...

i'm 30 and the youngest woman i could seriously date would be about 25 or 26. i could see myself dating someone about 10 years my senior though. most of my girlfriends have been older than me. not by 10 years but a couple years older. 

CaliGirlED said...

Hey to the 1971 Aquarians!!!...I agree with this ^.

maureen said...

Too early to be cussing, but D.A.M.N Cam Newton!  I will go 5 years youngers and 5-10 years older.

MonP said...

I'm only willing to go down 5 years. Men younger than 25 just aren't mature enough for me. My ideal age range is -5 to +10, however I have dated someone that had 18 years on me. He looked younger than he was and by the time I asked him his age, I didn't care that he was in college while I was in diapers *shrugs*

Jubi The Great said...

I'm 5 months from 30 & the lowest I could go is 25. The oldest is 40 - my dad is only 52 so anything within 10years of my father's age is just gross to me.

bashowell said...

I'm not far from 35 and there's no way I could go lower than 30.  I refuse...I just...no.  The oldest I've dated was 15 years older than me.  I won't do that again, either - he was in that "watch out there now" territory trying to act like he was with it because he was a "DJ". 

CaliGirlED said...

Let me start by saying that picture set this morning off something proper like! Although I shouldn't be thinking those kinds of thoughts this early! *takes a moment to cool off*

How low will Cali go? Well let's see, the youngest I've ever dated was 13 years my junior. If you want to call it dating, more like he had what I needed and I had what he wanted. We had a clear understanding of what it was and it worked for us. I will say he gave me a run for my money, but I...never mind. Could we have been in a serious relationship? I don't know. He was very mature for his age but we were definitely headed into different worlds. Add in he was looking forward to fatherhood, and I was pretty sure that I did not want anymore kids, it was a no go.

I've had a running joke for a few years now that when watching a football game I have to eye the coaching staff because the players are no longer in my age range. I don't think I could seriously date anyone more than 5 years older or younger than me. There are exceptions though, but I would have to draw the line at 10.

I get the Cat Daddy's too. And what pisses me off about it is that I look younger than I am, so that means they're really trying to holla at someone young enough to be their granddaughter! SMH

Ms_Toni said...

I'm strictly ten years older. I did the younger thing once. He was eight years younger. And he's effectively killed that for me. It would have to be someone one REALLY special for me to look past that cap, at this point.

JoshuaS said...

I'm 39....I can do about 3 years older than me or 10 years younger than me....I can't figure this one out but the only women that I seem to get interest from are the ones that are 29 or 30 years old.  I'm not complaining or anything, just saying. 

Angela said...

My stepfather and I had this conversation while watching football recently and I told him I don't think players are an option for me any longer, but I would consider a coach. lol

blackprofessor said...

Those photos are everything, lol!!

My job is ripe for being a cougar.  I work at a university and some of these college boys are FINE.  On top of that, they are smart and very polite.  I have definitely been hit on by some of my male undergrads.  My rule of thumb is no college boys, 10 years up and 10 years down.  If the man is mature and secure with the disparity, I am cool.

Angela said...

Team Aquarius!

CaliGirlED said...

I have to remind myself often that Mike Tomlin is married! Sexual chocolate!!!

Sasha Iman said...

I'm 22 and prefer men in the 25-35 age range... so 3-13 years my senior. 

I a bit biased however, and seem to only take the one's that are 30-35 seriously.

Jasmin said...

I'm only 23, so even 5 years younger is just gross. Plus I have younger sisters 3 and 6 years younger, so dating down just isn't for me. As far as older, up to 30 wouldn't e a big deal, except I'm living a transitional life right now. I'm in a 2-year program, then I could potentially move cross-country for grad school, and I wouldn't expect a settled 30 to sign up for that. My boyfriend's 2.5 years older, which works because he finished school after me and wants to go to grad school too, so we're equally open to moving for one another.

Angela said...

I've yet to date anyone younger than me (more to do with timing than anything else). I don't believe I could date someone more than 7 years younger though. I was recently approached by a man 20 years younger--in the gym. I sighed many times because I definitely did not get an urge to "mother" him, but I am so not cougarific. The greatest age difference has been 10 years. For me to consider anyone older they would have to look and act like someone closer to my age (um, and maturity). I've had older and immature. 

Chance said...

I will be 35 this year, and the most I am willing to go is about 3-5 years my senior. I do not want to date anyone younger than me. Unfortunately, I get hit on by men who are old enough to be my daddy (ewww!) For example, there's this stalker dude at church who is 57 who keeps trying to pursue me, when I have already told him that I AM NOT INTERESTED. Naww dude,  I am not trying to see about taking care of both my parents AND a husband in their older age. Just not for me.

M Dot said...

Depends....How young is Zoe Saldana?

MsJamie14 said...

I really prefer guys my own age. I'm not into younger guys... I don't understand grown women who lust after young boys like Chris Brown, Trey Songz...etc.. Just ew. I saw (lil) Romeo yesterday and I know he's getting his grown man on now, but I still looked at him like a zygote. Sorry. LOL

The guy getting the majority of my time now is 5 months younger, and I don't even like THAT! I don't make an issue of it tho. I'm not wrapped up into age so much where I'd overlook a good guy for it, but if he's more than 5 years younger or 10 years older, he'd really have to work harder to catch my attention, cuz I'm not checking for you.

David Chase said...

Ma'am.

M Dot said...

LOL @ zygote .... you took it all the way back to 7th grade Health Class

thinklikeRiley said...

She's 33 bruh, the line starts >>>>>

M Dot said...

First, we gotta pool our resources for Bradley Cooper's pending untimely demise. I heard they're an item.

MsJamie14 said...

Yeah...skinny girls rock! I think Zoe's into white boys tho...

motown_skater said...

ditto!!!!!

motown_skater said...

zygote! aaahhhahahahahahahaha....hilarious!

M Dot said...

It's too early to have my dreams crushed...

Kwana Royal said...

Funny this is the topic today. I get younger guys, I"m soon to be 38, tryna holla often. Like last week a 27 yo tried his hand and quite honestly I am not interested anyone that young. Most guys in their 20's are still playing, and some well in their 30's and I am just not in that space at all, so IMO age does matter.  On the flip I can't do near 50 yo's either. I'm like Goldilocks and like em just right around 40 ish

Honey said...

I'm 28 and I've done 5 years younger than me.  Been there, done that, wrote the postcard, and won't be vacationing there again if I can help it.

Now in terms of older, currently I'm dating someone 17 years my senior.  Didn't expect it to happen, but it's a great relationship.  It's like the book Chele referenced about how the 50 year old fought like hell to not fall in love with the 29 year old.  We both fought it, but it just works. He knows I only have one daddy and that's the man that helped conceive me. If he wants to be daddy, he can be that to his daughters. 2 years in and neither of us would change a thing. 

I'll tell anyone, just be open to love.  It may come in very unexpected package.

thinklikeRiley said...

Why Gramps in the pic holdin' a 40 tho? #WhatPartOfDaGame...

I used to like 'em young but Riley tired.  Now Riley likes the older ladies. All cougars may apply immediately/henceforth/herewith.

CorettaJG said...

I've never been involved with anyone younger (that being said - Cam Newton could get it).  

Based on my track record, I prefer older, 6 years or less.

Nicole said...

I am 33......so five years younger or 10-12 years older......I dated a 45 year-old at 28.........I knew it was the beginning of the end when I found out he lied about his age (and a  few other things).After that I decided that since my dad was 12 years old than my Mom that it would be my new cut-off point.....I agree with the Cat Daddies though.....erm, NO, PLAYA, JUST NO!

GrownAzzMan said...

For me: Zero older and not more then 10 younger although I might make exceptions for certain PYT's out there. 
For the world: I am going to look at you funny if your S/O could have been or gone to school with your child. 

GrownAzzMan said...

Zoe would be on my PYT list. Lottery pick for sure.

GrownAzzMan said...

Careful what you wish for Bruh. Your twitter DM's are about to blow up in 5-4-3...

CaliGirlED said...

LOL!!!

MsJamie14 said...

LOL! My bad! I'm sure the BougieLand bros are as good candidates as any to make her wanna abandon "the swirl" LOL!

CaliGirlED said...

"...but Riley tired."...LOL!!!

CaliGirlED said...

For the world: I am going to look at you funny if your S/O could have been or gone to school with your child.<----THIS

Leo the Yardie Chick said...

Sorry, my mind derailed at the barely-legal fiance calling her husband-to-be Daddy. In public.

NY2VA said...

X_X

maxfab said...

I used to be anti-younger men except for entertainment purposes. But my current Mr. Max is making me sing a different song. He's six years younger than I and this sentence here:

"I don't really get the cradle-robbing feel with David. The age difference is less than a decade. He's his own man, mature in his own right, chockful of his own ideals and opinions and not in need of a second mother. "

is exactly true for us too. Including the fact that my mister is named David as well.

Wouldn't it be funny if it was the same person and we didn't know it? hahahahaha

OneChele said...

See now... 

tishatweets said...

Man, look! Chris Brown, Trey, all them...they are like 12 to me. Perpetually. Not a thing in the world they can do for me but direct me to their older brother.

OneChele said...

What I do? 

MsJamie14 said...

LMAO. Funny ain't the word I'd use. LOL

GuessImJay said...

5 years younger, 10 years older. Let me applaud the ladies still holding down the sexy at 40+ - you are appreciated.

GrownAzzMan said...

See what had happend was...

Jennifer said...

I have to remind myself often that Mike Tomlin is married >> THIS

BklynBajan said...

All answers to this question comes with qualifiers.

At 42 I can't seriously date anyone under 35. No matter what is said when I'm talking about things from college and you were still in JHS? just.can't deal...

For kicks? Cam doesn't rock my boat but football player running back physique has long been my preference.

As for the over I will say 50 is my limit because IMO men over that range are usually divorced or at least have kids already and don't want anymore. They think once they reel you in they will waste what time & eggs I have left while they get the benefit of being with someone that looks younger (I still get carded). No sir. If you know you are done have fun with the next and leave me be. Now I'm open to meet the exception but once I ask pointed questions I will take the answers given and act accordingly. Recently met a 45 year old who wrongly assumed I didn't want kids and spent his time going on and on about how he was done. Made it really easy for me to just keep this professional yet he steady keeps trying to invite me out. Maybe other girls play these dumb games but don't state "you're open to me changing your mind" and think I'm suppossed to take the challenge.  Especially when you haven't seen a gym since HS. I don't know why these middle age men think their bulging bellies are cute.

Once the last egg has been confirmed I see myself going as young as I can get. If you ain't fit then you are not it....

GrownAzzMan said...

We should probably do something about getting Paula Patton back from that singer guy too...IJS

JaymeC said...

Owen and I had breakfast with a friend today and his shiny brand new second trophy wife. We were talking about Don Cornelius and she said, "Who's that?"  His face just fell. We just double blinked and moved to a different topic. This is what happens when you marry someone 31 years (THIRTY ONE) younger than you. This chick is ten years younger than his youngest child. I'm not judging, I'm just saying - what are ya'll talking about?

OwenCinDallas said...

Sweetie - he didn't marry her for conversation. *takes hand and leads away*

BklynBajan said...

They have been sweethearts since junior high school. I don't think anyone can sway her at this point.

OneChele said...

*snickers behind hand*

Jason P said...

*puts needle on turntable* Wanna be startin' sumthin', ya gotta startin' sumthin'
*turns volume up*

GrownAzzMan said...

I was about to quote the line that got you in trouble but...you already know.

Jason P said...

Yasss! Paint on some stripes and call me a cub or puma or whatever cougar bait is called these days.

CaliGirlED said...

I was thinking the same thing! LOL

CaliGirlED said...

I sped by that like it didn't happen! That's some freaky ish man! (And I don't mean freaky good!)

CaliGirlED said...

Maybe those first couple of letters, but the whole word? Not even!

Jubi The Great said...

You're light tho - in the right lighting you might be able to pass....

Jubi The Great said...

*blinks*

31 years younger? 10 years younger than his youngest child?

iCant.

Caramel Jones said...

I'm 27 so ten years younger is high school age and I can't with that. I'm not even trying to still talk about college days, we off that. I'll go as high as 40. Beyond that and my Mom and I are trolling in the same pond - no thanks.

AnnettePearl said...

Cam is looking right nice. I like my men older, wiser and smarter.

MsJamie14 said...

Ha!!!!

MsJamie14 said...

We were talking about Don Cornelius and she said, "Who's that?"

Mama no.....

MsJamie14 said...

*hollering!!!!!*

Man's World said...

she was rocking some clothes that shouted "this is my first new outfit that wasn't purchased in the juniors department"
*DOA*
I don't care how old a woman is, just have some sense about yourself. Some class and some home training. I'm not trying to raise my lifemate. Nor do I need to be raised. Naw, son. How about ev'body be grown?

Man's World said...

Thirty one years tho?!

TrulyPC said...

She called him Daddy?  Ewwww!

More than 10 years age difference and I am seeing "battle of the ages" for most.  There are of course exceptions to every rule...  for other people but not me. :-)  I have usually always been more instep with older and usually not more that 5 years.  I haven't met the younger guy that has caught my interest although they've tried.  10 years has been my limit (1st at 20 and then at 30) but both of those unsuccessful souls thought they were going to mold me. 

GrownAzzMan said...

BWAHAAAAAAAA!

ClayJones said...

King Jesus knows I tried with the 20-somethings and younger 30-somethings. I gave it my all. But I'm done with the child rearing and clubbing and seeing to be seen set. Let me get a little laid back music set, some wine, cut me a step, go home to a real bed make it do what it do - I'm good.

That being said - ten years down and five years up is my limit. Young at heart not young in behavior, mindset or lifestyle choices.

GrownAzzMan said...

Hey Annette.

GrownAzzMan said...

THIRTY ONE YEARS???? No folks. I have been in the GrownMan business for too long....

ClayJones said...

You all went to breakfast - how about I went on vacation with this duo over New Year's. Pain. Ful. As Chele likes to say - That girl is dumb as a box of rocks. That's not just youth, that's rank ignorance. I don't care how good she looks in a bikini. She asked the waiter if he could be sure to put mint in her mojito. But... Okay, let's say we let that slide. How about the menu said she could have flat or sparkling H2O and she said, "I just want water." C'mon!

I cannot with my midlife crisis brothers. I cannot.

Grace said...

Not King Jesus! Bwahaha.

Grace said...

*fist bump* Yes. With some swag.

CaliGirlED said...

*falls out on the floor rolling around laughing*

CaliGirlED said...

If he is still alive and with her when her sexual drive shifts gears, he's going to have a heart attack!

M Dot said...

of course, not realizing that mint is already in a mojito... WHEW

M Dot said...

kind of like John Witherspoon didn't marry his wife for her cooking in Boomerang, huh?

bang-bang-bang

La said...

The pictures. *WEEPS*

I am young so going too much younger than me is a fail. AT MOST I will date someone 2 years younger (25) Older, my cut off is 10 years. Too much older and I'm dating my daddy (and have issues). Too much younger and I'm going to jail (and also have issues). Early to mid 30s is just right.

CaliGirlED said...

"Let me get a little laid back music set, some wine, cut me a step, go home to a real bed make it do what it do - I'm good."....As opposed to someone still sleeping in their first bed they bought after leaving the nest? I hear ya!!!

La said...

*HOLLERS*

La said...

THIRTY ONE YEARS?!?! He must be well off and she must be... Listen. Nevermind. *leaves Bougieland before I get kicked out, lol*

M Dot said...

I will say that every 50-60+ dude does not dress like the pics up top.  It is possible to be in that age range and dress normal, smooth even.     The playa above needs to stop with that all pink ensemble.  Immediately. I'm guessing his all lime-green 'fit  was in the cleaners?

La said...

*volunteers to help get Bradley Cooper outta the way for y'all* Just doing my part. Community service and all.

Kwana Royal said...

My dad dresses, and be clean not old man style but fly and appropriate, he'll be 60 this Oct.
I always tell him I'm glad he not a bama and neva was one LOL

Javalicious said...

Theme song for the day?
http://youtu.be/lGl-wpug1tU

Javalicious said...

We see you GAM!

GrownAzzMan said...

"
The playa above needs to stop with that all pink ensemble.  Immediately. I'm guessing his all lime-green 'fit  was in the cleaners?"

^This all day!

Javalicious said...

Who doesn't know H2O is water? Isn't that SIXTH grade science?! Day-um!

Andrea M said...

That night out is sounding kinda right. *clicks on Mr. Jones' avi for a closer look*
Hey papi. ;-)

OneChele said...

My Dad stayed styletastic. BougieMom leaves the house runway ready every day. *looks down* I'm in yoga pants, mavericks tee and a lopsided ponytail. Le Bougie Shrug. 

MsJamie14 said...

I look great in a bikini and I actually have more than empty space in my head.

Point being...you can have it both...just sayin...lol

Violet Rose said...

Ha!

Violet Rose said...

How about ev'body be grown? <~~ This all day.

Violet Rose said...

Fourth!

Violet Rose said...

*falls off chair*

Violet Rose said...

Cosigning all of this. I noticed the fellas were lined up for Zoe. Where does the line for Cam start?

Violet Rose said...

Maybe the buttery lobster comparison was a touch too far? BWAHAHA!

CorettaJG said...

LOL! Girl, over here >>>>>>

tishatweets said...

Younger men. I'm just.....listen. You have to be a stellar young man to get me to consider you. And....there are some stellar less than 35 year old men out there, I'm sure. But my preference will always lean toward an older man. If I had to number it, it'd be no less than 5 years younger than me, and no more than 10 -12.

tishatweets said...

Dr. Webber?! #yesplease

Deb B said...

I'm dating a gentleman six years younger. I'm 42. Mama like.

JoycelynC said...

I usually don't even look at someone more than a year or two younger than myself but the current contender is 5 years younger.  I was very skeptical at first but I have been very pleasantly surprised.  So I guess now I would consider 5 years younger and no more than 10 years older.  My parents had me in their early 20s so I don't need anyone near 50 causing my daddy to wonder if I have issues. 

Deb B said...

Gets in line for the Chief.

tishatweets said...

"Let me get a little laid back music set, some wine, cut me a step, go home to a real bed make it do what it do - I'm good."

Sparkling cider or something virgin on mineS (lol) but yes...this! Some men my age and younger...this, they don't understand. Smh.

JoycelynC said...

I have to agree.  Unless he does something totally crazy, he got a lock on that. 

tishatweets said...

Here you go trippin'! LOL!!!!!

Deb B said...

Gets in line for the Chief.

tishatweets said...

I've dated someone a few years younger than my dad before. And I can tell you that it was anything but gross. IJS. LOL. It could be argued that I have youngish parents, and I guess I do, but...he and I? We just clicked. He's still a very good friend of mine to this day. And it wasn't his age that made me fire him. That much older than me isn't what I'm looking for today, buuuuut...I guess I should modify my initial answer to include that I will make exceptions up, but rarely down.

Tbaby said...

I'm 37.  I will CONSIDER a man 27-50.  
There must be other, more important factors in play regardless of age.  I dated a man 10 years my senior who had Peter Pan Syndrome and was better at stirring the cocoa than gentlemen I dated who were a few years my junior, more "together" and mature, yet needed a viagra scrip.   My mommy had me when she was 3o, so there is no worry of stepping on toes.  Besides I don't think her husband, my 70 year old daddy, would like that very much.  

Trey Charles said...

I gotta problem with women calling men who are not their fathers "Daddy" - I find it creepy. Not sexy, not coy, not cute - creepy.

I'll go five years up and five years down. Unless I'm really, really impressed.

Leo the Yardie Chick said...

10 years younger than his YOUNGEST CHILD?! Da hayul's he trying to prove?!

Sasha in Stilettos said...

Yes Lawd. Fewer games, less drama, more uh - inventive with the cocoa, know what they want. Not saying there aren't exceptions to the rule but uh... yes - I'll go up to 15 years older than me. I have zero problem with that.

Lady Ngo said...

Im only 25 so going any young than a couple of years is kinda illegal...and not desirable anyway. I've always been kinda...eh...about dating someone crazy older. Even being 25, the idea of being with someone well into their 30s is weird to me. I attribute it to maybe having slightly unrealistic views as to where people should be in their life at certain ages. Also, i guess because i'm a grad student and because of the field i'm in, it makes it hard for me to see myself with someone who's older and/or even just works a normal 9-5.

Sasha in Stilettos said...

I'll eyeball Cam but... where's his daddy? Older cousin? Uncle?

Only1DivaC said...

I can do 3 years younger and 8 years older. However, I seem to attract the cat daddy types. It never fails if I am at the mall, airport, grocery store here comes cat daddy. I want to have kids so I need that person to still be in that age group who wants to have kids with me. As for that Cam picture, yes indeedy!

SouthernWes said...

"special friends" is what killed you, ma.

SouthernWes said...

My wife is six years older than me. She took me on when I was a country-assed youngster with more mouth than good sense. She said she knew the kind of man I would turn out to be. Thank God. Though I probably wouldn't be the guy I am without her.

AppleBerryMIA said...

Aw! How sweet is that?!

Only1DivaC said...

"Unless I'm really, really impressed" <------------- No comment!!!

mutemia said...

I'm almost 25, and I will only date my age and up. I feel like the 26-29 year range is good, but I'd be willing to go to 32-33.

C Nelson said...

My father is one of these, and every time we went out together, there'd always be some woman, usually my age or younger, side-eyeing me and asking hopefully(!!!): "This isn't your wife, is it?" *squick.* Granted, my parents had babies young, they're only twenty-some years older than I am, but still.

Anyway, dude in that picture needs some regular short-sleeved shirts and nice dark slacks in the worst way.

blackprofessor said...

31 years? I bet viagra is his best friend, lol!

Leon X said...

Two of my best friends have wives that are least ten years their junior. The 20th anniversary of my frat brother's line is today. His wife took the time to remind him when he crossed she was 12.

C Nelson said...

I tried both younger and older, I really did. First real love? Ten years older. First lover? I was (just barely) 18, he was 40. Ex- husband? 28 to my 21. Then I sort of figured that wasn't working out very well for me, and after a bit of a hiatus, I went through a spate of barely legal adolescents, not that I could go that much younger when I was only late twenties myself. But at the end of the day, I need someone who remembers the Wind in the Willows and Duck Tales and Danger Mouse, thanks. Someone who isn't completely lost when I reference Enid Blyton and Wonder Years in the same sentence is good too.  He's four years older, and that's just about right.

MsJamie14 said...

Ew...looks like they won't be stirring cocoa tonight. LOL

Somethings just don't need to be said.... 

Jeannette said...

I tend to attract the polar opposites, either the old cat daddy types or the real youngins.  I'd prefer someone either 5 years older or younger than me.  We just need to be able to relate to the same things.

Jeannette said...

I'm judging! LOL

Earthangel172 said...

I will only date someone in my age group and up but no more than 10 years older than me. Just my preference.

LOL @ the cat daddy pic with the pink outfit on. I have seen more than my fair share of them in real life.

Jeannette said...

Holla!!!!!!!! 

GrownAzzMan said...

This is why I can't do hot tots...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yc_QGf2TNtY 

Leon X said...

Nah. They have a wonderful relationship. I'm sure they'll find cocoa time.

Earthangel172 said...

"You have to be a stellar young man to get me to consider you."

THIS!

AND

"But my preference will always lean toward an older man."

THIS!!

Earthangel172 said...

Is there room for one more?!

ShawnSoze said...

Old Spice in the pink fit... He ain't got ONE friend to snatch that out of his closet and burn it when he isn't looking? Nary one?!

I'm equal opportunity. I had a whole analogy about cars and how I'm more interested in the miles on the odometer than the years off the lot. But I could sense a side-eye coming from Contessa Bougie. And I JUST got outta lockdown.

#CarryOn

Earthangel172 said...

"She asked the waiter if he could be sure to put mint in her mojito."

The hayle?! I'm beyond speechless.

Earthangel172 said...

iDied a thousand deaths today! Oooh chile, this is too much for me.

Earthangel172 said...

Okay!!!

Bwahahahahahahahahaha!

Jubi The Great said...

I find it so disturbing. I have a Daddy - no way can I call another man Daddy. #gross

Pure Choco said...

I did not realize Cam was looking like that! I would consider a cradle rob.
I'm in my late 30s so I tend not to drift into the 20s or 50s. There is this little 27 year old who keeps chasing though. It's hard to find a reason not to at least get an after dinner drink. But that's it all starts.

Pure Choco said...

Why he gotta be Old Spice though? HA!

Pure Choco said...

Enjoy!

Pure Choco said...

"I just want water" *DEAD*

Brneyed1 said...

Me too...

mojitochica said...

This is an interesting question for me, since based on average male life expectancy I won't be dating again until 2048.  By then I guess I'd date 10 +/- years. 

If I were to date in the near future, I'd consider 3+ years.  Sorry youngings.

I'm not concerned about the dating lives of people to which I am not related.  That said I would NEVER EVER EVEN CONSIDER dating anyone younger than my youngest child.  That's unbalanced for you.

All Honey said...

Something about that grown man thang tho...
I was reading Chele's tweets about Blair Underwood and Denzel - yes. Still doable.

rozb said...

I went cougar and dated a dude 12 years younger and had so much fun! But it was just that - fun. He had life issues that a more mature person would have dealt with better. And I am about living my life, not guiding and consoling somebody in theirs. We parted on very good terms, and he still tells me that to this day I had the biggest positive impact on his life.

As far as much older - before I was married I said H E double hockey stick NO! My husband is only a year older and that is okay with me. To paraphrase that great philosopher Sommore - I don't want somebody trying to get busy sliding around in his dress socks, with ashy knees and elbows and a wave cap. His Life Alert pendant swinging everywhere...

Besides - don't old men give you worms? *going to my corner*

rozb said...

Did she need her water in a sippy cup?

Cassie said...

Both could still get it.

OneChele said...

I like the new pic!

Yofabulous said...

I don't know who made the rule, but I stick to the half my age +7  formula.  Keeps me out of trouble.  I'm generally not checking for anyone more than 5 years older than me.

Brneyed1 said...

I'm stuck at 10 years older.  Younger??  It depends.  I was told recently that if a woman is over 40 (as I am) dating any dude 10 years or more younger than her makes her a Cougar.  I'd claim my CougarCard for the right one.  What is that pretty chocolate man's name from House of Payne??  Rawr.

GammasWorld said...

This is interesting and I think the ages that are "legitimate" to me is directly related to where I am in my life.   A 5 year difference at 50 is totally different than a 5 year difference at 28.   If you're young enough to date my daughter, you're too young for me.  So I'm open to 5 years younger and really no limit on the upwards age.   If I'm going with a 60 yr old I want him to be young at heart and still curious about life.  I might be a GamMa but I ain't dead ... keep up. 

MsJamie14 said...

 Uh, my point is that picturing your wife at 12 probably doesn't help cocoa matters. It's a joke.

rozb said...

Still using those same percale sheets that are looking mighty sheer right about now.

tiffanyinhouston said...

I typically went 5 years younger and 10 years older. I actually liked older menS. Hubs just happens to be the same age (38).

However, when I was 35, I "encountered" a 26 year old that made me call on King Jesus! And let's just say I don't sleep on 50 year olds either.

*shuts door tightly behind me on way out*

OneChele said...

*opens door and screams down hallway* So ratchet!

Sent from my Kindle Fire

_____________________________________________

Marioned said...

No hard fast rules for me.  Depends on the individual.  Right now SO is 3 years younger.  I have done up to  years 10 older and 15 years younger. 

invectiva said...

This all day. We have to have the same cultural referents. And music. Darnit.

CaliGirlED said...

Well we know SHE'S not smarter than a 5th grader! SMH

CaliGirlED said...

Hearts are faded, rainbows are one color, black Barbie looks hispanic...IJS

CaliGirlED said...

You a mess!

CaliGirlED said...

"She said she knew the kind of man I would turn out to be. Thank God." My pastor said the same thing about his wife Sunday.

Brenda Kay said...

Once I hit 50, the rules changed. I suddenly found men older than me too set in their ways, still bitter about their divorces and wanting to relive their playa days. But dating guys even 10 years younger than me, and I don't have anything in common with them. So now that I'm 53, I'm putting the age cut off at no younger than 45 and no older than 56. 

But if Devin Thomas (WR for the NY Giants) just happened to show up at my door? Well...I would temporarily forgot about the age difference rule. ;-D

http://www.inkedcelebrity.com/devinthomas5.jpg

Brenda Kay said...

Once I hit 50, the rules changed. I suddenly found men older than me too set in their ways, still bitter about their divorces and wanting to relive their playa days. But dating guys even 10 years younger than me, and I don't have anything in common with them. So now that I'm 53, I'm putting the age cut off at no younger than 45 and no older than 56. 

But if Devin Thomas (WR for the NY Giants) just happened to show up at my door? Well...I would temporarily forgot about the age difference rule. ;-D

http://www.inkedcelebrity.com/devinthomas5.jpg

Brenda Kay said...

Sorry for the double posting...

CaliGirlED said...

Oh that is the business!

CaliGirlED said...

IGNANT!!!

CaliGirlED said...

*hollers*

JohnKinPDX said...

Good to know.

BklynBajan said...

Agree. Agree. Agree. Lawd that young boy....

Vee said...

Personally I think my limit is around 5 years either up or down. I think when I get older it'll be 10 years. 

As for other people, I don't care if I sound judgemental, but if your boo is 20+ years older/younger than you, something is messed up. Either the older person hasn't matured like they should have, or the younger person has some parental issues. It's especially messed up if the older person has children who are the same age as the new spouse. It's just wrong, I don't care how many celebrity men are trying to make it ok, it's not. You need to be wondering what's wrong with you if you're seriously considering a relationship with a 20-year-old and are older than 40 yourself.

One Chele said...

Oh yeah...there are plenty of geezers seasoned gentlemen who age like fine wine... Stedman Graham, James Pickens Jr (Dr. Webber on Greys) hell, even little Robert from the Cosby Show (Dondre Whitfield) lol...(though he's not in his 50s yet...lol)

One Chele said...

"Now on the 10 years older, I need them to actually act their age, no being 43 acting like you 23. Get thee away. "
 
See. 'Cause...that's the other thing. You can be a certain age...chronologically. But....you could also be  stunted developmentally at a different age. That's problematic as well--especially with older men. I will totally own that there are certain....life achievement assumptions I make about men based on their age, right or wrong, so it will absolutely give me pause you're 43 but still keep your money under the mattress of your twin sized bed 'cause "you ain't foolin' with the white man's banks like that." 0_O

One Chele said...

Somewhere buying clown suits,, zoot suits, Steve Harvey suits... nevermind....lol

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