Friday, January 06, 2012

Rude Awakening

It was about 3:00am when the sound of raised voices yanked me from what was some truly extraordinary slumber. Grumpily I sat up to figure out where the noise was coming from. It took no time at all to ascertain that a man and a woman were in the middle of the cul-de-sac screaming at each other in the street... at decibels that were uncalled for in that time and place. Really, any time and place but let's move on...

With a sigh, I got up and peeked out of the window and sure enough, there were Dude and Dudette in the street in pajamas howling at one and other. I didn't recognize them as neighbors. As I looked on with disgust and confusion, Dudette picked up her foot and landed a roundhouse kick squarely in Dude's abdomen. Before I could blink, he bopped her upside the head. Oh. Hells. No. 

I dialed 911 and was informed that six calls had already come in and Dallas' finest were already on the way. The words "the way" were still floating into my ear when the first patrol car pulled up. Dude and Dudette were full scale MMA boxing in the street. I went downstairs so I could stop the officers from ringing the doorbell and waking BougieMom (who didn't even twitch an eyelid). 

These two were visiting friends, got into a fight and not wanting to disturb their hosts... decided to step outside. Really tho? She announced, "We always rough house a little bit, it doesn't mean anything."

No. In fact, hell no. The one time I thought about fighting some dude was way back right after college. Not the brightest idea since he was Mr. Law Enforcement and all buffed up. I don't even remember what the fight was about but I got up in his face, he told me to back up, I did not and he gave me a little shove backwards. Again for those who don't know, I'm top heavy with tiny ankles and gravity hates me. I tumbled onto my ass landing painfully on the tile floor. I jumped up and swung my loaded purse at his head. He ducked. And laughed. I remember growling and landing one solid kick to his thigh before his best friend grabbed me around the waist and pulled me into the kitchen. Where he held me hostage until I calmed down. Ever since then I don't do physical confrontation. Ever.

One, I'd never win. Two, razor sharp words wound deeper and have longer lasting impact. Three, no one goes to jail for launching verbal missiles. And four, fighting in the streets is S.No.B! So I put the question to you - WDDDA? And WTH? Is there EVER a good reason to get into a physical confrontation with your s.o.? Would it ever occur to you to fight in the street in the middle of the night? Someone help me understand... The floor is yours.

105 comments:

taut_7 said...

i have strict zero tolerance for physical confrontations in relationships. i let it be known early to a woman that if she ever put her hands on me our relationship would be over. i'd be more willing to forgive cheating than i would if a woman put her hands on me. on of my exes decided to test my policy by slapping me in public. i left her where she stood. no amount of apologizing could make me forgive her. 

Jesse said...

Yeah no. I don't even play wrestle.

GrownAzzMan said...

No. Not ever.  Nicht. Pas. Nyet. I think that about covers it.

Page Bartlett said...

I'm trying to wrap my head around what could be so crucial at 3 am that you take to the asphalt in your jammies and throwdown? I don't want to know. That's on some other level bullshiggity right there.

Regina said...

I'm wondering why didn't their friends come outside and try to break up the scuffle. They had to have heard it, since you and five other neighbors were already dialing the authorities. If you invite over houseguests who have short fuses and like to throw fisticuffs, you should be prepared to referee the drama, just sayin'. Le deep heavy sigh at ol' girl saying a little rough-housing "didn't mean anything." Uh, it can mean jail time, fool!

Mama always said don't hit a man because he just might hit you back. And it just might hurt. A lot. So I don't (okay, I've been guilty of not so nicely smacking a s/o in the stomach in the past, but I don't anymore). Mama did say if you ever get mad at a spouse, you just break up all of his stuff and then use his money to buy new things. Hitting the pockets is how you do the real damage. But I've never done this — though it sounds intriguing, it quite possibly would cause even more trouble — and neither has she, so maybe that advice should be categorized as "just talk."

Domestic violence is not cool. Love does not hurt. Keep your hands to yourself. Simple rules to follow.

CCDreamz said...

Not just no to fighting but hellz no! I left that nonsense behind in college. I'm grown and now realize that the fellas were letting my 5'5" behind off very easy. It only took one very small built dude to flip me over and pin me to remind me that fighting with a dude is a lose/lose every time.

thinklikeRiley said...

Riley confused. Dey was throwing bows in da skreet? In da middle of da night?
On a week night? Sober? Nah son.
If it get to dat, you go ---> dat way, I go da other way.
If we can't discuss it, I don't truss it.
#BoughettoLogic

jake said...

Had the same thing go down where a girlfriend flung a drink (glass and all) in my face. Glass broke, cut my face, whole lot of unnecessary drama. I was done. She was all "but I love you, I just wanted your attention" If you loving me means I have to get stitches, I do not want. Next.

Mr. Skyywalker said...

"If we can't discuss it, I don't truss it."
That's all, folks.

taut_7 said...

you're a better man than me. i would have filed charges.

keishabrown said...

i just had this conversation on twitter! i mentioned i had never been in a fight before, and people were shocked/confused. 

i grew up in a house where shut up was considered a swear word, what would i have gotten if i fought a sibling for something that is not life/death? (a: licks with belt/shoe/wooden spoon/spatula/whatever is handy). no thanks. 

oh and this?? "razor sharp words wound deeper and have longer lasting impact" <-YES. 

SingLikeSassy said...

So, instead of waking up their hosts they thought they would wake up the whole neighborhood? Mkay.

Lemme see...back in 2010 I did kinda sorta use a phone to try and bash my ex-husband's head in. It wasn't right and I admit that I feel badly about letting myself get that out of control, but at the time, I had just found out that ninja was cheating and I was miscarrying our baby so all kinds of hormones were raging through me, the air conditioning was broke so it was hotter than hell in our house and I felt like while I was walking around professing my love for this ninja he had thrown our whole life/marriage/future away over some ho(es). At that moment in time, I needed to bash a mofo's head in. 

That said, do better than I did. We still ended up divorced and what if he had really been hurt? (<--this is what really scares me cause as he was trying to get away from me, I tried to push him down our stairs!) Why catch a case and ruin your life over something like that or someone who isn't worthy of you?

Monica said...

A snowball has a better chance in Hell than I do in physical combat with a man. I can't believe that homegirl thinks that mess is cute.

OneChele said...

With all that going on - whew! Hormones, heat and anger are a tough combination.

Angelle said...

I was taught never to throw a punch if youre not prepared to receive one. Since I have no desire to be on the receiving end of a punch, I keep my hands to myself. Plus I have a pretty good mouth piece, so I let my words battle for me

blackprofessor said...

It wouldn't cross my mind to fight a man, let alone a SO! I am a lover not a fighter! If the issue is that serious, I will bounce and then call the team (father, brothers, cousins, uncles) and let them take care of him.   

tishatweets said...

No. Not at all. Not even a little bit. Have I been that angry in times past? Sure. I'm certainly not exempt from the emotion. But I'm not laying hands on you like that because I don't want you to do that to me. Plus...being with someone who makes you that angry is simply not prudent. Move on.

tishatweets said...

LOL. I've never been in a fight either. I distincly remembering telling people in high school "Listen. I'm not about to mess up my hair and clothes fighting you. We won't like each other afterward anyway so what's the point?" and got the heck on.  #bougie LOL

Slim Jackson said...

Physical altercations in relationships are lame sauce. Wrestling matches that lead to well-stirred cocoa are okay.

I can't even see getting loud in public with a booski. It's just an all around bad look and I don't want to end up in a blog post or series of tweets that go viral and end up on some humor site.

GuessImJay said...

If it's to the point where I feel like we're going to swing on each other, I'd rather walk away. Simple.
And no dirty laundry in public. Please and thanks.

Pure Choco said...

I'm not a fighter. I don't know how, I don't want to learn. I'll walk (run) away and send you a note about why you suck later.

BklynBajan said...

See I don't even play with the wrestling because one wrong move and while he's "still playing" I'm transforming into the Hulk and he don't even know whats about to go down....blame it on being tickled to death as a child from folks "just playing". I will snap off in a second.

LikeLena said...

I remember it was my 25th birthday party and my s/o had been drinking all night. As people started leaving, he started mumbling about me flirting with some guy. I just ignored him and kept it moving. Next thing I know, he shoved me into the cheese tray (funny the details you remember) and called me several names. Out of the blue. No sign of this behavior for 8 months then at this party he lost his effin' mind. Before I could even respond, two male friends of mind had pulled him back and asked him what his problem was. Fist flew, he was tossed out. I never spoke to him again.

So no. I don't do physical confrontation. I'm not against getting one man to kick another man's ass for me though. No indeed. No problem with that at all.

CaliGirlED said...

"If you loving me means I have to get stitches, I do not want. Next."<---This right here!

BklynBajan said...

There is never a good reason to get into a physical confrontation with your SO. Younger, uncouth BklynBajan never let anyone punk her but I'm thankful cooler heads prevailed (had that crazy look in my eye & the angel on his shoulder advised his drunk butt to retreat immeadiately).

However, I do maintain the number of my "cuzzin Tyrone" to handle any and all sit-uh-ay-tions that may require physical assistance to maintain a resolution. On the real I do my best to avoid anyone that would even make me look that number up.

BklynBajan said...

*fist bump*

Leo the Yardie Chick said...

O_O

I haven't witnessed anything like that (yet). I also have never participated in a fight - and since I plan to restart my martial arts training after college is behind me, I'd rather not have any matches outside the mat.

CaliGirlED said...

And this ^^ is why mofos need to weary of cheating! You NEVER know how your spouse is going to react to it, and sometimes the reaction is totally out of their character. DON'T START NONE WON'T BE NONE!

Lady4Real said...

HAPPY NEW YEAR BOUGIELAND!!!

Ok, I'm not proud but monkey see, monkey do. My mother is a fighter, she has laid the smack down on me, my siblings and her numerous boyfriends. She taught me to never let a man put his hands on me and if he hits me hit him back. There are a few exes that learned that I ain't the one. I have 3 older brothers, I'm a tomboy and love to wrestle so if they brought it I gave it back. Now that I am older, married and understand men and love instead of boys and lust I have hung up the gloves. Now I just use the sharpeness of my tongue.

lessie brown said...

This post made me all kinds of upset. This is beyond a stupid couple fighting. This is domestic violence. It is not ok from either party ever. The unfortunate truth is that if it got to this level, then the emotional manipulation on both sides was already out of control. Violence is never ok in a relationship--emotional or physical. Having worked with a lot of DV victims and been one myself, it's a complex situation. There are a lot of power and control issues from both sides. But slicing someone's emotional or physical being is--let me say it again--never ok. We're all grownups. Learn to keep it real for f**k's sake.

DCbywayofCali said...

The only good reason to ever get into a fight with anyone is if your life is threatened, and even then I just need one good punch so that I can run very fast and away!

CaliGirlED said...

"I'm not against getting one man to kick another man's ass for me though. No indeed. No problem with that at all." *cues Montel Jordan's This Is How We Do It*

CaliGirlED said...

This was meant for Lena.

Earthangel172 said...

There is NEVER a good reason to hit someone. If you hit me, you're going to jail. Period.

I hate to be embarrassed so I have a zero tolerance policy for clowning in public. I just don't get the logic behind whoopin up on someone to show them how much you disagree with them/love them/want their attention/etc.

After this hot mess and a half, this couple would no longer be invited to spend the night at my crib. Get gone! LOL

La said...

There is never a good enough reason to put your hands on anyone. If you can't figure out how to work out your problems without putting your hands on each other, then you don't need to be with that person or anyone. You do, however, need to be under the care of a mental health professional.

It is terribly hard to make me angry period, let alone angry enough to make me want to fight you. That being said, once in college, a BF and I were having an argument in my dorm room and I was blocking the door so he couldn't walk out. He picked me up by my neck, flung me into a wall, and left. Let me acknowledge, I was wrong as hell for my behavior. But I flew out the door after him. He turned around, took one look at my face and took off running, barricading himself in his room, while a mutual friend literally dragged me away. Which was for the best. Because, as he saw on my face, I had already made up in my mind that we were BOTH leaving the dorm that night; just him in a body bag and me in handcuffs. But what that taught me more than anything is not to push people to violence. Fighting was not in either of our natures but even the most even tempered person can be pushed too far past being rational and you don’t know what anyone is capable of. It’s not worth years, maybe a lifetime of consequences for losing your cool in the moment.

Lady4Real said...

"Love does not hurt". Hard lesson to learn when you grow up with love hurting you. So thankful for my husband and my Dad getting me through and showing me that Love does not hurt.

The_A said...

Woow. This story makes me sad. No country for physical fights- or any angry contact like grabbing or pulling etc. I don't like yelling but I will slice you with my tongue.

That said, don't mess with my child. I'm willing to do hard time

Earthangel172 said...

#cosign

 I've never been in a fight before and saying the words lie/shut up/butt would result in an automatic ass whoopin'! LOL

Earthangel172 said...

"That said, don't mess with my child. I'm willing to do hard time."

::hollers::  I hear ya!

Just_A_Thought1218 said...

Ugh. I cannot stand couples like this.  Domestic violence is not cool, and it just continues a destructive cycle that sucks more people in its wake.

There is always a reason to start or participate in a physical altercation with an SO, but never a justication.  Sure, I've wanted to shoot a nucca, slice a nucca with my ceramic kitchen knives, or beat the brakes of a nucca; but I want to stay uninjured and out of jail much, much more.  Plus, since my mother couldn't afford braces when I was growing up, I had to pay for them as an adult.  And I'll be danged if I let anyone, man or woman, mess up $3500 worth of work.

The_A said...

Had they been my guests be it friend or family, I would've been inside on the phone with the police dispatcher & packing their bags. What you cannot do is bring that nonsense into my home. Officer friendly can take you with him or direct you to the nearest hotel.

*pulls up welcome mat & shuts the door*

CaliGirlED said...

Rule #1 DO NOT put your hands on me! (I have been in 2 altercations with 2 ex SO's, but I was the one doing all the swinging. Go figure!)

What had happen was: 1) We were arguing in the car (2 potty mouths in full affect), he implied that I could get out of his car, he stopped his car (on the off ramp of the freeway, in a not so nice area), I attempted to get out, he had 2nd thoughts about putting me out, I DID NOT, he tried to keep me in the car, IT WAS ON! Don't test me, yes I will get out of this car at 1am in the middle of the hood and walk! (I was in my early 20's and hotheaded!) I gave in, he drove off, he talked, I pretended not to listen and refused to say a word. (Can we say my picture used to be next to the word "stubborn"?) RIDICULOUS

2) Too much dark liquor, I was trying to wake him up, he thought I hit him, called me a b**ch, WHAT???, I lost all sense of you're a man I'm a woman I can't win and commenced to wailing on him while stressing the fact that he better not ever call me that again! He tried backing away from me, blocking my hits, restraining me, I wouldn't stop. He pulled out his gun. Oh you want me to stop hitting you??? Oh, ok!!! I left.

Fast forward, CaliGirl will not even argue with you. I will not raise my voice or cuss at you, or tolerate it from someone else. Been there done that, held a seminar and sold t-shirts!

The_A said...

*But slicing someone's EMOTIONAL or physical being is--let me say it again--never ok.*

Co-sign! My mouth probably should be a registered weapon. Like the Incredible Hulk, "you wouldn't like me when I'm angry" I'm not proud of it and the irony is I'm highly sensitive to how other speak to me. It's taken years of reflection, growth & prayer to get to the point where I've got it under control. 9 times out of 10 I'd rather just walk away if I know you are really pushing my buttons.

We must examine the examples we were given and the examples we are giving. Know better. Do better.

maureen said...

Nope, no fighting for me. Like most people have said below, if we can't resolve our  issues by talking it out, then we best part ways. Also, my petite self with zero body strenghth can't start something I will not be able to finish.

CaliGirlED said...

So I admit to having acted an azz or two in the past, but there are no witnesses to attest to such shenanigans! Why? Because I don't do public confrontation. I don't recall ever having an argument in front of anyone, or outside at volumes that would raise the sleeping. I will just as soon look at you stone-faced.

Marioned said...

No violence not since......

Ok at the tender age of 20, I had a boyfriend break up with me and show up the next day at our softball game with another girl.  After the game I confronted him and he was very cavalier about what had happen.   As he was walking away, I had visions of practicing field goal kicking with my brother and before I knew it I had practiced on him! Score.  A few folks grabed me and he walked on..  

Fast forward about 15 years later and good friend was at a party where this big Homicide Detective was jokingly telling the story about the one  and only time he got his ass kicked.  She had heard my story and screamed my name and they both laughed.   I can't lie that kick felt good at the time. 

Bailey said...

True story - Second date, nice dinner, drive home, great conversation. He walks me to the door and says "Are you going to let me in or do I have to make you?" I look down and his fist is balled up. I took a step back and he grabbed me, I just swung on him. He got a look on on his face and said "Let me in"

I kicked off the shoes and took running dialing 911 and screaming as I ran. He ran after me. What the hell? All I knew what that he was NOT getting into my apartment. No way. Thankfully a cop was driving guy and saw a black woman running and screaming down the sidewalk with a cell phone.

I've since take self defense classes. I will whip ass only if that's the last resort. But don't test me, bro.

Sol_dier said...

Growing up, I saw enough violence to last a lifetime, as well as the excuses:  'look what you made me do', 'But I love him/her', 'I didn't want to do it', 'you don't understand', 'get out of the way', 'you are defending her/him' (as an excuse for hitting me) e.t.c.

As a result, I don't play fight, not even pillow fight. Wanna fight me? I will run from you, if you make it impossible to run or have me cornered and I can't talk my way out of it then I will defend myself and I promise it will not be pretty, but I will not instigate a fight.

What I have noticed though, is when people realise you don't want to fight they constantly try to provoke you, act like they are going to hit you, come right up to your face, scream at you, throw things or say abusive & vulgar things. 
I walk away. FOREVER. 

The worst thing to ever happen to me in college: My best friend & flatmate of 3 yrs started using illegal substances (I still have no idea why or even how). To explain away the marks on her skin, she told people I was scratching and hitting her and because I was kinda quiet and a geek, people believed her.
I was devastated when I found out, I asked her why and she said well those other girls didn't like you, thought you were snobbish and too uppity, so she figured she would use it to her advantage & she did O_O.

I thank her & the 'rents from a safe distance for a few of the most important lessons of my life. 

Sol_dier said...

If I were the friends, I wouldn't get involved either.
I'd call the police and I'd have their bags waiting by the front door, neither of them would be allowed back in to the house prior to police presence and then they have to leave as soon as it is decent.

I've seen people get arrested because they got involved in a domestic dispute. 
Nah, they can take their craziness and get gone.

Seriously, I've cut friends off because they stay with abusive partners cos apparently its 'no big deal'. 
Nah, blaaad!  I don't want to be around that ish

Sol_dier said...

responded before I saw your response.  just had to say : exactly

Sol_dier said...

He pulled out his gun. Oh you want me to stop hitting you??? Oh, ok!!! I left.

Bloody hell!

Sol_dier said...

I'm not religious but even I gotta say... Thank you JESU for Bailey's life. What in the world!

JohnKinPDX said...

I'm not that guy. You need someone to knuckle up and brawl with you or for you? I'm not that guy. I'll make a phone or write a check but I'm not tussling. Never have, never will.

tiffanyinhouston said...

I don't box with dudes. I'll never win, period.

No dude has ever been that stupid to try to box me. I have my daddy, 2 brothers and a myriad of cousins that would handle things with dude if he tried.

OneChele said...

Girl, that's some new show on DiscoveryID/A&E. "I survived" or somesuch. 

CaliGirlED said...

Wowser!!!

tiffanyinhouston said...

Thank you Lord for covering Bailey with your protection!

This dude has gotten away with that before, I bet. I hope you pressed charges.

Grace said...

This all day.

Mykeia said...

I can't get hit.  I don't hit.  I don't yell.
I grew up in a house with timely physical episodes.  If I am in a long term relationship with you this is something that you know about me...if you want to take my down that painful road, you are not the one for me.  I don't like to be around people when they argue, it's just too much for me.
People arguing outside at three am, they are just looking for attention...and shouldn't be together.
If you come to my house and the police are called on you and your dumbass behavior---we will not be friends for a while...

blackprofessor said...

Right!! I hope you ran straight to the police station and pressed charges on this creep!

Guest4Today said...

 Preach!!!   "...even the most even tempered person can be pushed too far past being rational and you don’t know what anyone is capable of. It’s not worth years, maybe a lifetime of consequences for losing your cool in the moment. "
This right here!!!^^^^ I'm very laid back, however the moment that made me snap was the morning I walked in on my now ex s/o and another chick was in the bed with him. On MY side of the bed.  In MY house. O_o.  I'm not justifying it and it is something I never wish to repeat but I lost my mind for about 5 minutes.  Let's just say it took him and another person to get me off him.  That was the final straw after 10 years of drama.  After it happened, it made me realize that I couldn't ever be in a relationship that emotionally distressing again because I can't be that person that I was that day.    

The_A said...

So my colleague Lana McMurray works with men or  women who are dealing with unhealthy relationships like the one described in this story. She helps them rediscover themselves Her site is http://free2thrivecoaching.com/ Check it out

Leo the Yardie Chick said...

Unless you're my sparing partner, and we're training? No.

The_A said...

Oh wow. Bailey I'm so glad you had the wherewithall to respond the way you did!

I'm totally signing up for a self defense class. Anybody in the DMV wanna join me?

invectiva said...

Ha, the first thing I thought when I read this was, "I'm a lover, not a fighter!"  H/T to MJ.   Not a fan of physical violence, ever, and also... "Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent."  Fisticuffs with your partner is just bat-ish crazy!!!

Just_A_Thought1218 said...

What I have noticed though, is when people realize you don't want to
fight they constantly try to provoke you, act like they are going to hit
you, come right up to your face, scream at you, throw things or say
abusive & vulgar things. 
I walk away. FOREVER.


This is me all day. I will not get into a fight, won't instigate one, won't even cut up in the way some insecure, confused men believe that women should cut up to show that they care. I don't understand why some people need to operate that way, but once I see that is where you're coming from? I run, turn left at the lantern, and don't look back.

Just_A_Thought1218 said...

What dudes don't know is that I have two brothers that will handle them if they get out of hand. They better hope the middle one gets to them, because he's just coming with an azz whooping for them.  The youngest got something with a little more heat for dudes who get reckless.

Bryan Anthony said...

No ma'am. Jazz and I used to play wrestle until The Incident With The Stiletto.
Nuff said.
Never more.

invectiva said...

I'm  the same on this. You bring violence to our relationship, and I am done. No further discussion. If you have stuff at my house, I will leave it on the sidewalk for you.

OneChele said...

My two bougie brothers might swing a golf club or a tennis racquet but that's about it. But we know people who know people who would handle that. We are gangsta with a phone call. ;-)

invectiva said...

> What I have noticed though, is when people realise you
> don't want to fight they constantly try to provoke you

This. Ugh. Never let these people win.

> she told people I was scratching and hitting her

What kind of effed up shiggity betrayal is THIS??!?!?  I can't come up with a sufficient negation statement for that kind of behavior.

Sol_dier said...

you box too? I got pink hand wraps lol

DCbywayofCali said...

See I can't call my father.  If it gets to him, a former member of the military, he's bringing guns.

rhenewal said...

I grew up listening to reggae. Peter Tosh said, "If you live in a glass house don't throw stones. And if you can't take blows, don't throw blows". I can't take a punch. I will now go punching dudes. A freaking slap in the face with  the average man's upper body strength can be debilitating to a woman. And I like my face as it is.

Besides which, if a relationship is that crazy, that I feel the need to be making a ruckus out in the street, at 3am, in a Bougie neighborhood, while VISITING someone... That relationship is not a healthy place to be.

TrulyPC said...

I don't fight men!  Unless you count the time I had an ex-SO slap me and I hit back and took off running.   Men that  hit women are not my thing and once I discover that you are that guy I will drop you quickly.

Now I have been in a fight (10th grade) with a female and it was unavoidable and coincidentally occurred after being slapped.  I remember seeing red and the Rocky theme being hummed for weeks when I walked down the hallway. #ViolenceIsNeverGolden

ClayJones said...

Relationship Golden Rule: Don't start none, won't be none.

JaymeC said...

Sir. *tries not to laugh*

JaymeC said...

The problem (well one of many)  is that those two probably think that's how they show love for each other. Warped and sick but there are many out there who think that when they are being hit, that means the other person cares. Or being hit is all they know.

ClayJones said...

Oh. That's not it?

ClayJones said...

There's a story there...

ClayJones said...

Ain't nothing wrong with speed dial gangsterism.

ClayJones said...

Ya'll needed to catch me in my early twenties, frat house, trashcan punch days to catch me fighting. Now I am Mr. Walk-Away-And-Live-To-Tell-The-Story guy.

ClayJones said...

Glad you got out.

ClayJones said...

Perfect storm for an episode of Snapped. Yeah, I've seen it. Scared me straight.

ClayJones said...

And that's how you do it, son.

ClayJones said...

The Hell you say?

motown_skater said...

i can't deal with a man who will raise his voice at me so raising of the hand is a no go for sure. to old and grown not to be able to talk things out. like riley said, "If we can't discuss it, I don't truss it."

Javalicious said...

I'll cut a dude who comes at me with the wrong tone and wrong expression on his face so for sure I'm not sticking around to rumble.

Javalicious said...

Wait - I meant as in onto da next, not knife to the throat kind of cut. Le Sigh.

michaeldavis said...

I've never laid hands on a woman in my life.  Ever.
My oldheads always said it takes more to walk away from a woman that to hit back.  And if I see you hit your girl, we're immediately done as friends.  Straight like that.

David Chase said...

That's just sad.

David Chase said...

I don't understand. They left someone's home to yell and punch in the street? Does. Not. Compute.

MidwestDominicana said...

I have pink gloves and a heavy bag in the basement! Such a great stress reliever.

CaliGirlED said...

"...even the most even tempered person can be pushed too far past being rational and you don’t know what anyone is capable of."...So true!

CaliGirlED said...

Have phone, will call! It's all about who you know!

CaliGirlED said...

O_o

Earthangel172 said...

LOL!

Leo the Yardie Chick said...

No, I don't box, but I am bent on restarting my martial arts classes as soon as the money drainer called college is behind me. =D

Pink hand wraps? Awesome! I'm not even sure what my colour would be.

Leo the Yardie Chick said...

....the HELL IS WRONG WITH THESE NINJAS?! Sorry for shouting in BougieLand, Chele, but I read last week about some brain trust hitting a woman in the head with a bowling ball when she refused to let him buy her a drink. >_< Where did these fools get their courtship lessons?

I am SO glad that you made it out of the situation alive, and whole.

LadyNgo said...

Of course there's never a good reason to get into a physical altercation (though there are times when you should call Pookie and 'em to come handle a ninja!) unless you like jail time and the "Rihanna special"

Wambuig said...

No sir domestic abuse is on my top three of deal breakers. It is no negotiable. We.are.Done!!

GammasWorld said...

Grew up with a physically abusive (to my mother) father.  To this day a loud argument will bring on a case of anxiety.  Can.Not.   I'd like to think I wouldn't have invited people to my house that would behave like this, but if a couple felt so inclined Imma call the cops my damn self.  *mumbles ... gon' come to my house to act a fool - no sir* 

GammasWorld said...

Baby, this is the beginning of a Snapped episode.  

Sol_dier said...

I don't know, but i do know I this: 
'when people show you who they are, believe them' and don't try to fix them.

One Chele said...

If ya'll gotta box then it's probably not gonna work out.

I hate to admit that once, years ago, before we married I hit my husband b/c I was crazy out of frustration. Luckily, he had the sense I lacked and did not retaliate. I can't even remember what I was mad about but I do remember how awful & ashamed I felt afterwards. I had never hit anyone out of anger before and this was somebody I loved. What the hell was I thinking? What if he had knocked my teeth out? Anyway not my proudest moment or one I ever intent to repeat.

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