Thursday, December 15, 2011

When to admit you suck (not in a good way) - A Bougie Bachelorette Chronicle


What had happened was... Really, if you take each thing individually, it wasn't that bad but put all together? I kind of sucked as a girlfriend for the last week.

First of all, David was sick. I did go over and take soup and stuff. I stayed until he fell asleep and then I went to sleep in the guest room. This netted me the side-eye of life. But hey - he gets sick and he's up 24 hours later. I get sick, it turns into some kind of exotic infection and I'm down for 10 days. Could he really not feel the love from one room over? Apparently not.

Next on my list of transgressions, the airport drop off. I was supposed to take Le Ninja to the airport and I sort of sent a car service to get him instead. Okay but wait - I had a medical thing that had been rescheduled. It was supposed to a take a half hour but ended up taking two. So (without going into details) since I was stuck in the stirrups, I sent a text to him and a car to his house. 

Which brings us to my next mea culpa, I had a medical thing that was not a big deal but then again, kind of a big deal and I didn't tell him about it before hand. I told him later when all was good. I knew I was breaking the s.o. "share and share alike" code but I was trying to end around a discussion... Le Sigh. 

Then came the Incident at CVS. We swung by to pick up a prescription. I was minding my own damn business in line at the pharmacy when the store manager rolls up and starts hollering. Not discreetly. I mean full scale "here's my card, how u doin', holla atcha boy, hey baby hey baby hey" roll up. At first, I thought he was trying to offer me a discount on my purchases. Then I thought he was trying to sell me something. By the time I figured out what was what, David had stepped forward and announced, "She's flattered but not interested." Oh boy. CVS manager did not back down. In my haste to defuse the situation (why was the store manager hollering on a Saturday morning, why was David looking like he wanted to swing on fools in the CVS), I took the card and said, "Uh thanks." Wrong. Thing. To. Do. David looked at me like I had shot Bambi, stole Christmas and talked bad about his mama all in the same day. Lawd. Lawd.

Wrap that up with The #$%! bracelet and you see why I was getting all manner of attitude. So your girl had some work to do. Starting with getting to the bottom of the shaky ground I stood on. Apparently, this all started when one of the exes sent me a text and I responded. Didn't matter that is was a generic "Happy Holidays" text and all I said was "You too." It was enough with all the other yada piled on to land me in hot water.

David is the stoic type. He earned the nickname "Batman" for being quiet and inside his head half of the time but social and engaging the other half (not to mention being a generally cool guy who wears black really, really well. But I digress). He doesn't tend to get angry. He seethes quietly and then all of sudden it's Threat Level Orange round here.

After a four hour conversation where he looked at my side and I looked at his. We decided there are one or two hurdles to jump but they are manageable. I gotta do better, he's gotta do better and we have to agree on what to take seriously and what to shrug off. We have to agree to talk about things while we're still at Threat Level Green inching towards Blue. Once you hit Orange and Yellow, you're just firefighting. At some point, a couple has to come up with The Escalation Point Rules of Engagement. 

BougieLand, how do you decide what to get upset about and what to shrug off? What is your surefure "I know I effed up but you still love me anyway" apology tip? Thoughts, comments, insights? The floor is yours.

175 comments:

AGDM said...

I think its safe to go from 0 to 60 in 3.5 seconds if there is blatant disrespect going on like at CVS. The other stuff can be misconstrued easily so I tend to shrug stuff like that off then walking it into a conversation at another time. I too, do not anger easily and I think its better that way. Tnb doesn't anger easily and will ask direct questions when she doesn't understand something which is great but lately she has been ready to turn it up on me... trying to shoot the fair one. I worry about her abusing me at a later date.

GammasWorld said...

Michele Middle Name Grant.   I'll deal with you later, I've got to go to work. 

aisha oaktree1122 said...

Ok after i picked myself up from the floor where i fell laughing at your shenanigans, and your description of his face when you took the card, i gotta say you did step into it. Personally I get number 1, that's completely understandable. the other two?? No bueno Michele...., but the bracelet isn't your fault. that one should have been a freebie NOW if you had kept it then he could get mad
I gotta ask David why wait until your at orange to say something?? You gotta understand the first one, getting sick is nobodies idea of a fun time.  You have 2 and 3 for the non sharing, but 4 you gotta laugh off, and five was definitively a fluke on Michele's part  .. ya'll should have pawned that sucka and had a nice dinner out to make up for the week's transgressions.....Now when im in tepid water, i put on music and treat to role reversal dinner (i pay, i drive..all that jazz), if im in HOT water, i make dinner (all the favorites), get favorite greek dessert, wear the favorite outfit, perfume,  pull out all the stops with a very sincere heartfelt apology..... it's always worked so im not sure how to fix anything above this...

MsJamie14 said...

My thoughts:

When to admit you suck (not in a good way) - Ha! Hilarious.
Tending to sick Billie Dee Ninja - Any good ninja wouldn't want you to get sick either. That helps no one.
Airport drop off - I mean, you were in the strirrups. I think you rocked a solution considering.
Medical thing - Yeah, you should have told him. Demerit for that.
The "incident" in CVS We already know you suffer from "too nice for your own good syndrome. But a benefit to that is you have a man who can shut Ole Mr "What your man got to do with me" Positive K down. And might I add the "she's flattered but not interested" part? Le Sexy. *rwar*
Taking the card gets you a demerit tho.

So you've got two demerits. Cook him a mind numblingly good apology dinner and then put him to sleep (in the good way). LOL.

Lady4Real said...

LMAO, thanks to these here social innets I was waiting on this post. Le Ninja was on FB goin' off a few days ago and I couldn't blame him. A man has limits and other men testing those limits is a huge No Bueno. And poor Chele, I feel ya pain, we have a way of being very intelligent but sometimes a bit shall I say dense, just don't see what's going on because our minds are so not there but some elses mind is and the men in our life are confused to how we can not see the 'obvious'. Hey what is obvious to one is not so obvious to others. 

How do you decide what to get upset about and what to shrug off?
I'm currently in therapy because a sistergirl can get mad at anything for any reason. Undealt with grief, childhood traumas, and an abusive marriage where the abuse was hidden from everyone near and dear will cause some damage and some serious anger management issues.But as I progress I seem to notice a lot of things are shrug worthy, just don't talk about my Daddy.
 
What is your surefure "I know I effed up but you still love me anyway" apology tip?
Admission is awesome, just owning my mistakes takes me a long way with the hubs. Denial will get me denied all of his niceness and patience. No room for bullshiggity, if you wrong, ya wrong. Own it. 

ClayJones said...

Admitting you were wrong (and you were) is half the battle.
Making it up to him and never doing it again is the other half.

keishabrown said...

LOLLL.
oh dear.

well... all this proves is that you are human. you know you effed up and you'll both figure it out. 
together. (key word here)

this post was a good way of starting though. it's easy to write about the fellas when they do wrong, but harder to be like..my bad publicly. 

taut_7 said...

i think i'm like your boyfriend. i don't get angry too often but when i get angry i brood more than anything and like to be left alone with my thoughts. once i've mulled over them i'll come to you with what you did to make me upset and why i'm upset. there's really rhyme or reason to what makes me upset but i can point out one thing that will make me upset and that's being disrespected. 

Angela said...

First I decide if what I'm upset about is the present situation or if the situation triggered an emotional response from a past event. Then I deal with it appropriately.

Apology tip: ACTION. Reverse what can be reversed. Eliminate whatever drama (people, etc.) can be eliminated. Then commence Operation Pleasure (whatever pleasure means to him). It hasn't failed me yet:-)

thinklikeRiley said...

Yeah ma, you had a bad week. Consider this yo public mea culpa and move on. But er uh, you string a few of deez weeks together? No bueno.

blackprofessor said...

This is funny!  When you mess up, fess up! All you can do is admit the truth, say you are sorry and try not to make the same mistake again. 

My surefire apology tip? Whatever he likes, I go all out!  If it involves tickets to a sporting event, a fancy trip, a new gadget, a movie he has been dying to see, etc.  Whatever it is, I do it with a big smile, lol!!! 

Mina B. said...

What to get upset about and shrug off depends for me is something learned after being together for a while. Of course there are some things that cross the line no matter who it is but in general, after a few of these little spats you get the idea of what will set the other person off.

ITA w/the consensus so far- Be sorry, say it, try not to repeat and find fun ways to make up!

SouthernWes said...

If this is the worst of it, you're in good shape. At least it's all fixable.
After more time, stuff like this won't even put a pause in your stride.
1. My wife put me out of the house when I got sick. She sent me to Jay's house and said "See you  in a few days, love you"
2. I ain't mad about the car service.
3. Hmm, the medical thing. You know men like to fix stuff. First off - you okay? Second, next time you'll do better.
4. Okay so you took the card. Frown worthy but Batman knew you were going home with him so...
5. You handled that bracelet situation better than most

GrownAzzMan said...

Sounds like you two are experiencing what I call growing pains. I think all new relationships go through them (Dr. J will weigh in on that I'm sure). After you have been together a while you learn each other's rhythms and know what will matter, what will roll of each other's back and what will cause discomfort. Sounds like last week and the subsequent conversation will be a good step towards that.

JaymeC said...

What GAM said. I was about to comment and then I read his. Um-hmm.
Plus, the two of you can stop worrying about being perfect for each other. It ain't gonna happen. Every moment won't be glitter and cocoa. Every word won't sweep you off your feet. Now comes the hard part. Getting over the hurdles. Enjoy!

TrulyPC said...

First, sending out blessings that all medical is all good!  I have the tendency to withhold information thinking that I am helping by not worrying anyone but in a relationship you just can't do that.  Lesson learned???

Taking the card from the fool in CVS was not a good move.  A stone face and a no thank you would have been so much better.

I don't let things build because it is not good for me maintaining my peace and beauty. :) Communication!

But just in case I make an insensitive move (not confirming that I have) I am all about navigating towards quality time, attention to details and affection to soothe the the troubled waters.

Justmytwocents said...

Sounds like you messing up. Don't think there aren't plenty of women who would be happy to step in and do it right. IJS.

GammasWorld said...

Able to still a few minutes at the gig ... pretty sure they have not figured out what Disqus is as it's wide slap open LOL.  Anywho.  After the week y'all had I totally get Le Ninja's tude with the bracelet.   The fact that you put your "oopsies" out here for us to disect is extremely admirable.    The only thing I know  you know better is that dang card from CVS dude.  I know you were trying to difuse situation but once David spoke up this became like a man-law thing and he needed to finish that.   To reinforce Le Ninja's message you could have taken said card and laid it back on counter since dude was being all extra.   GAM hit the nail on the head as far as next steps though.  I'll be copying that for my next relationship.

Cocoa Winston said...

Wait... what? Who the hell?

keishabrown said...

O_o

see this? this is why we can't have nice things...
sigh.

Cocoa Winston said...

You, my dear, suffer from Too Nice For Yo Own Damn Good syndrome.
But I have no doubt you know how to make it all better.

LikeLena said...

Oh. For real tho?

Reads4Pleasure said...

You might want to keep your two cents to yourself since it's obvious you have no sense. GTFOOHWTBS.

David Chase said...

*slams brakes* Clearly you have no respect for our hostess so I won't spare any for you. She's not in any danger of losing me over these little differences and certainly not ever to anyone like you.
*walks away whistling*

David Chase said...

I said it yesterday, I'll say it today - Nice post, ma ;)

Natasha said...

Take that two cents and put it somewhere else... Wrong Blog...

Only1DivaC said...

Um, it looks like some folks need to re-read Chele's Bougie rules. But er, um you might want to slide to stage left pretty dang on quickly because you might see some folks revert to unbouge ways with this comment you just made. And #IJS

MsJamie14 said...

*iDied*

Jubi The Great said...

SO.OUT.OF.POCKET.

Sol_dier said...

and ^^THIS^^ is how its done.

tishatweets said...

My cousin, who is also one of my closest friends, said something so simple yet so powerful once regarding and ongoing argument/complaint. She asked, "Is this thing unto death? No? Well then calm down. Whatever it is, it's not that serious." And....it wasn't. Were there some things to be done? Yes. Could they be done? Yes, if both parties agreed to it. So....at the end of the day? Not that big a deal. I carry that with me and let it inform what I choose to hit the roof about.

With regard to apologizing, I'm sincere when I do it. I admit my faults rather easily, and have no problem at all saying "I totally messed that up." I also am pretty romantic and can write some things that will change the game. Hasn't failed me yet. :)

OneChele said...

:-) That's in print, you know. Is that legally binding?

Jubi The Great said...

I agree with GAM & Dr. J on this one - yall are doing the dance & figuring out that rhythm of what to share, how to share it, etc. Overall I think you handled it well.

Oh and No Country for BnB Commenters who are secretly coveting Chele's man. You clearly see the two of them are doing good, being snarky in the comments aint gon help your cause boo. You'd do better to holla at one of the many BnB bachelors instead. *drops mic*

David Chase said...

I'm all for being legally bound. *lobs ball back over the net*

David Chase said...

I'm all for being legally bound. *lobs ball back over the net*

tishatweets said...

You suck at life for this.

motown_skater said...

gone grab me a seat with my pop & popcorn and wait for the rest of the bougie fam to tear into you....smdh....you are just beyond rude!!!

caligirl, rozb & singlelikesassy where ya at?!!!  cali, no limits on the cuss words today go fo' broke!

Grace said...

*grabs seat on bleachers and buys popcorn*

ShawnSoze said...

*gasps* WHAT? You're not perfect?!
*falls out*

ShawnSoze said...

Flag on the play!
How you gonna slither into BnB and try and run game? Wack game at that?
Who in the hell left the gate open?

Reads4Pleasure said...

I have space on my calendar to plan a summer or fall wedding...IJS

MsJamie14 said...

LOL! Is the seat next to you taken?

Only1DivaC said...

Move over Grace because I'm right behind you. LOL!

SingLikeSassy said...

Awwwww shucks now *rubs hands together like Denzel in Training Day*

MsJamie14 said...

*hollers*

SingLikeSassy said...

What in the itchingforafootuptheass hell?!

SingLikeSassy said...

Awwwww shucks now *rubs hands together like Denzel in Training Day*

ShawnSoze said...

Don't send her this way! Do.Not.Want.

ShawnSoze said...

Like could tattoo a "FAIL" stamp right across her forehead.

Lady4Real said...

Run Security Shawn!! Run it!!

ShawnSoze said...

Whelp!

Lady4Real said...

Umm, this is BougieLand and you are S.N.o.B right now. I'm a need you to get right or get left homegirl.

Lady4Real said...

 will totally save for my plane ticket like right now.

Lady4Real said...

oh my. What say you Le Bougienista? It's gettin' a bit serious in here for me today. lol

SingLikeSassy said...

DAMMIT! Those last two posts were mine but they won't post underneath David's comment where I intended them to be.

In any case, stuff happens, as long as y'all can talk through it and come out the other side, it's all good (although four hours of conversation would be too much for me and about 20 mins in, I'm agreeing to disagree then switching focus to the make up cocoa LOL!)

Lady4Real said...

I want a seat too.

MsJamie14 said...

Time to start an "office pool" for when "Operation Bling" is gonna go down. $2 per guess. LOL

GammasWorld said...

Put your purse in that chair, I'm coming.

GammasWorld said...

Lawds I accidentally pushed "like" to this chile's post and I meant to reply.  This is what I get for trying to sneak at the gig. 

Anywho ... you, young lady, change your screen name and come back when you know how to behave.  We don't do this here ... ever.

CaliGirlED said...

Chele, I love you I love you I love you (as much as a cyber buddy can), but you took the card???

Ok I'll be back later! I have thoughts, I have questions, but these damn brokers have last minute crap before they disappear for two weeks! What have they been doing all damn year....But I digress!

Natasha said...

I have the seat next to GammasWorld.  "This hear gon be good *in my best country voice*"

GammasWorld said...

Can I "unlike" a comment?  It makes me sick to think 2 cent chile thinks I actually like that dang comment.

SA said...

Can I set next to you Gamma?

MsJamie14 said...

Aw man.. that sucks LOL. Retraction noted. LOL

blackprofessor said...

Plops down next to Lady4Real!

DCbywayofCali said...

I get why 'Chele took the card.  Women are harassed daily and everywhere we go.  I know that Dude was right there, but sometimes you just want the offending harasser to just poof be gone, so you take the card and you throw it away when you're out of sight. It was probably just a reflex. 

I know I've done it on many an occasion hoping that some nut didn't pop off and turn violent just b/c I didn't want his digits.

Jazzy Jazz said...

you can. Just hit the like button again, and the like will go away 

blackprofessor said...

If that is your way of showing that you can "do it right", you have already failed! This isn't that kind of blog, we respect each other and each other's relationships around here. 

Justmytwocents said...

Whatever. Yall a bunch of hypocrites. If it was some random girl saying she was doing this shit with her man, you would pounce on her and say there are other women waiting to take her place. Chele gets a pass but other women don't? GTFOH. I'm gone.

Jazzy Jazz said...

Im grabbing the seat next to you, with mini pretzels and cheese. 

Jazzy Jazz said...

*double blinks slowly* Ma'am please take ALL of the seats

J B said...

I was thinking, did he go to Jared? 

GuessImJay said...

Damn ma, who pissed in your corn flakes?
*taps Chele on shoulder* Where'd we put the B**** Be Gone Spray?

J B said...

New Year's Eve. 

Alonda Lord said...

Is there any room for me?

MsJamie14 said...

LOL. Or "every kiss begins with Kay..." LOL

Duchess K said...

I hope everything is good with you medically. Everybody has a off week every once in a while. Ya'll will get thru this because you are communicating.

md_KG said...

So you're back? AGAIN??!! Devil,  Be Gone....

MsJamie14 said...

you would pounce on her and say there are other women waiting to take her place.

Who thinks like this? LOL.

SingLikeSassy said...

Any excuse to be out of damn pocket. Take yo ass on.

CaliGirlED said...

Ok I'm late, but to hell with all y'all, I will stand up for this one!!! It's on Chele right! (Grace can I get a few kernels?)

Natasha said...

I hit like trying to hit the Reply button, please believe I don't agree with this tomfoolery.... Ma'am you need to have a stadium full of seats with your responses. 

CaliGirlED said...

Hold my mule!!!

Leo the Yardie Chick said...

Yea, sounds like they got lost while looking for Media Take Out.

CaliGirlED said...

Nobody she slithered under it! Get thee behind me Satan!!!

Alonda Lord said...

See U!!!!

Nicole said...

Y'all need some drinks up in here too? *grabbing a seat next to Jazzy Jazz*

CaliGirlED said...

See here's the thing, Chele is so classy that even if I said to you right now what I want to say to you, she would probably edit or delete my comment and put me on time out. Additionally, my fellow bougienistas and bruhs have said plenty. Lastly, the man of the hour has spoken, put your ass in check and shut the door!

So really there's not much left to say other than, get your trifling sorry excuse for a woman ass up out of here! Don't come back, don't lurk, just don't!!! Dumbass don't even know two horses have two asses! Is this SEW???

Angel Blanca said...

My walker has a seat on it, so I can pull up one wherever I need it. I'll bring treats and libations in my basket, too!

bashowell said...

Y'all scoot over *hands out drinks*

tishatweets said...

Or....not.

As you can see, none of us thought she did anything worth ending a relationship over. More importantly, her honey didn't think it was anything worth ending a relationship over.  As someone else put it (I think GAM) we all simply saw growing pains--which are important for the foundation of any relationship that has any chance of standing the test of time--and nothing else. So, it's not about passes. It may in fact be, however, about you just being ratchet and contrary for no good reason.

GammasWorld said...

Sit down baby ... you want a peppermint?  Gimme my purse. 

CaliGirlED said...

This is what everybody needs to understand going in!!! Dr. GAM! (Ok brother, I may be calling you sometime in Jan. for some serious 1 on 1!)

SingLikeSassy said...

Where is Coretta the wedding planner when we need her?!!

Reads4Pleasure said...

Perhaps if the woman, regardless of who it was, had done some trifling shit, you might have gotten a few head nods, she didn't.  But you're over here acting like this is a game of double dutch and you can jump your tail in IF Chele should jump out.  It doesn't work that way in grown ass relationships.  Now how about you have a seat of shut the entire fuck up?

*holding up my wrists* take me to Bougie jail for cussin. ionncurr

CaliGirlED said...

She represents that "bad crowd" that starts coming to the club, eventually leading to it being shut down!...But not here in BougieLand, she'll be the one shutting down. Y'all remember ol' girl from, Jamaica was it? She got the hell up outta here!

Angel Blanca said...

You're right. This happens to me quite a bit, and I end up with information I don't want, knowing that I'll never use it.  I just really don't want to be mean to anyone, so I don't turn them down.  Of course, when I have to change up my routines to avoid said individuals, then I'm kicking myself in the rear, but that's something else I need to deal with...

CaliGirlED said...

Take that! In your face!!!

Andrea M said...

Uh.. what blog you been readin' boo?
If Chele was on some Tracy-type ratchet, we would call her out.
This ain't that major.
You just want her man. We get it. He fine. FAHN. (Sorry Chele) But not for you, boo boo.
See if Pookie on the corner needs some Christmas Cocoa.
And as for you? Buh-bye now.

CaliGirlED said...

I'll take one! Here pass these Red Vines down.

CaliGirlED said...

*hollers*

Guest397 said...

*kool-aid man bursts out of lurkdom* How in the world do you get "some other woman would" from this story? There is nothing there that some other woman would do. Unless you mean sitting up under her sick boo (yick!).  This was growing pangs....these are GROWN FOLKS.....smh I do NOT understand.... please take this as a parting gift _/
kthxbai

CaliGirlED said...

idied!

thinklikeRiley said...

Put down the #TeamThirsty pom poms and back away from the blog before you get hurt.

CaliGirlED said...

You are too cool for me! Nice!!!

MsJamie14 said...

*puts $5 in the collection plate*

J B said...

A SEW drive by, methinks?

Angel Blanca said...

If it were some random woman saying this, we might hypothesize about others waiting in the wings, but Chele is not some random woman, and we've been privy to information about this very real relationship almost from the beginning.  Your argument about hypocrisy may be valid, but it is not sound.  You overstepped the bounds of propriety, and you got called on it.

Go sulk, realize that you erred, and then come back.  After all, we're all entitled to make mistakes, but grown folks realize when they've made them, and then they do. better.

Buh-bye.

CaliGirlED said...

*falls out*

J B said...

I had an idea.  We could set up Mz Thirstiette Ratchetson with DFKN.......

Jubi The Great said...

Alright then...where are Trey & MD? They might want her.

CaliGirlED said...

You're the best!

CaliGirlED said...

"See if Pookie on the corner needs some Christmas Cocoa."....DEAD!!! DNR!

tishatweets said...

Agreed. I've never been approached while with my ex-husband or a s.o., but I think I probably would have done what Chele did just because it is my habit to do so--in an attempt to avoid any drama. Sucks that it has to be like that, but it's reality.

bashowell said...

I was thinking the same thing!

Lady4Real said...

Top left shelf, next to the NoBullshiggity Allowed sign. I think that's where she stored it. Right near the NoRatchedness Air Freshner.

tishatweets said...

LOL. If he ended up liking her it probably wouldn't work. Chick like this doesn't want someone who actually wants *her.* No fun in that for women who think like she does. She wants to "take" someone's man to feel like she....accomplished something. No higher achievement for ragegdy women like this.

Jubi The Great said...

I see what you did there *puts BnB wedding on my calendar*

CaliGirlED said...

CYMAD!!! (Calm Your Monkey Ass Down)...Thanks Bougie Bruh who shared that!

See here's the other thing, YOU are the random girl, we know Chele, we know why she took the card, because she's too damn nice! That doesn't make it right, as some (including myself) have told her, but definitely not "lose her man worthy"! Now your random ratchet ass may have taken the card and stored it away as an future option. But THIS was NOT that!

Jay did you find that spray???

Jubi The Great said...

Lemme get a seat & some Red Vines ma'am

MsJamie14 said...

And here we have another example of those who suck (not in a good way)

tishatweets said...

How darling. :)

blackprofessor said...

Chele seems like a Tiffany girl.

keishabrown said...

DIES at this entire thread that D&M started. 
*scooches over with notepad and some snacks, considers venues and what the reception would look like...

keishabrown said...

DIES again. 

keishabrown said...

*makes it rain with canadian dollars 

Leo the Yardie Chick said...

I was JUST thinking it could be S.E.W. We all know how she operates!

Sol_dier said...

nothing more to do than simply point and say>
SO NOT BOUGIE.

keishabrown said...

O_o 

Please help yourself to this lovely Bougieland (in Purple of course) SEAT on ya way out. 

Only1DivaC said...

Dumpling, why are you still here? And may I ask who pissed in your Cheerios this morning? Bitterness and haterade is never a good look.

GammasWorld said...

As JazzyJazz shared, click on "like" again and it will undo.  Worked for me but I had to log out and back in for it to reflect. 

Sol_dier said...

evil!!! lol.

Sol_dier said...

You rock!
That is all.

MsJamie14 said...

Oh absolutely. I'm really thinking Harry Winston.  They don't have catchy ads tho. LOL

Sol_dier said...

sing it sassy lol.

CaliGirlED said...

Here's to good health Chele and I hope all is well!!!

This was definitely a string of nothing good going on for you two last week! Like you said, one incident at a time, no biggie. But compounded, whoa nellie! However, over these last couple of years commenting and tweeting with you two, no worries mon!!! Sometimes these things happen simply to build strength. Like GAM said, you're just finding the rhythm!

Because I know you guys are laughing by now, I'm laughing with you!

I guess I won't say here's my two cents (talk about ruining a saying)!....David, you know what you have and others (past, present and future) do too. Don't sweat the attention! You know how men are and you also know how Chele is (prior to the Starbucks/Home Depot meet ups and those purple shoes). And Chele, don't you ever ever ever, ever ever take a man's card or any other item in the presence of David. Niceness be damned!

Lady4Real said...

 think Trey might have better sense then to mess with this broad. The knitting circle has been praying after all. Hey where is the knittign circle we need some holy water thrown on this chick.

Lady4Real said...

Purple of course. Lot's of libations and great music.

Natasha said...

Thanks Gamma, I did.

JoycelynC said...

Alright now! You betta do it David!

JoycelynC said...

Please ask for some decorum for Christmas.  It's not too late.  This is plenty tacky and so not going to get you what you want.

JoycelynC said...

Ok I read this earlier but as a sister was stuck in court for a 53 page calendar call, I could not comment until now.  Bad moments, days, weeks happen to everyone.  I have found that being willing to admit you were wrong goes a long way with men.  Now to sweeten the pot I suggest cooking him one of his favorite meals and a little AQT.  Have fun!

BklynBajan said...

I think ya'll are right and she's extra salty because she found out yesterday that her regift was sent to the original recipient yet again... *burns sage*

La said...

*steps in, looks around* What in the #WhoHurtYou hell happened up in here today?!  *side steps any and all bullsh!t cuz I got on expensive shoes*

My template for deciding what to shrug off is figuring out how long it will bother me; will I still be thinking about it in a week? In a month? In a year? Then that gets expressed. If I will have no f*%$# to donate to it's cause come tomorrow? It's not worth the effort. I don't have any other tips other than sincerity always works. I make sure I understand fully what I did wrong, apologize sincerely, and commit my best effort to never doing it again.

Like most other people said, this just sounds like growing pains. Figuring out the way to marry the things you do/have done/would do with what your partner wants/needs/desires. No more, no less. The great sign is that you guys talked about it, no matter how belated. THAT is why you guys DON'T suck.

J B said...

Oh yeah.  Marquis cut.  :)

The Bunni said...

EXACTLY what I was thinking!  Who da hell is this mysterious "you" that has THAT mentality?

Monica said...

The bracelet: Not your fault. As for the letter, anything short of your throwing it away in front of him probably would have had him displeased. I don't think it would have mattered when you read it.

Sleeping in the guest room: You don't want his cold anymore than he does. I ain't mad at cha.

Accepting the card: I know you were just being polite but erm...no.

Sometimes rough patches happen. Open communication will go a long way toward minimizing the fallout when the rough patches occur. No seething in silence, David. It's just not healthy.

sherants said...

I'm going to come out of lurkdom and make my first comment.   I thoroughly enjoy your blog.  I read it first thing in the morning as soon as I get to work.  You're funny.  I like that.  And your posts are always thought-provoking, which is icing on the cake.  Add the commenters and you've got whipped cream on top of the icing! :)

That whole scenario at CVS.  Yea been there.  What's sad about that situation is the fact that most women I know, including myself, feel obligated to respond to such f**kery (am I allowed to say that?  It seems rather appropriate in this instance.) with niceness.  If you don't respond with niceness or god forbid you retort back with some bitey comment or try to check dude, then you somehow end up feeling like the 'angry black woman', nobody has to say it out loud but it ends up floating around the air somehow.  But dammit!  You were a customer and you were obviously there with your man (a man who confronted the situation and told dude to step back) and STILL this fool didn't know to stop.  If there's ever a more appropriate moment for the ABW to come out, it has to be this. 

OneChele said...

Welcome out of Lurkdom!

The_A said...

Woooow! So mad that I missed all this entertainment today!! I just so happen to be sitting here sipping champagne reading these comments. BIG Shout Out to Le Ninja! *dap* Bravo Sir, BRAVO!

So, anybody care to give a toast toooo ....well... I don't know...you tell me....OneChele, anything you want to celebrate????  *flute raised in anticipation*

suebhoney said...

Chele,  You know you are my girl, and I was riding with you on the airport situation, and I was kinda on the fence about your actions while he was sick (because we know how "they" are when sick) but if an infected person just looks at you too long and you get sick I can understand your wariness, but the CVS dude?  I'm sorry I can't ride with you on that one. 
  My tolerance level is low in my fabulous 40's, so it really depends on the situation that will determine the threat level color.   But if I truly have messed up and I know it. I apologize profusely and follow it up with some serious "spoiling":  favorite meals, 2 interruption free Football Sunday's (with a half-time show thrown in for xtra credit-LOL).

Leo the Yardie Chick said...

Yea....she must not have been here for very long, because that is not how the BnB operates.

rozb said...

Two cents, huh? Must be inflation, cause bitterness and random ratchedness ain't even worth that. In the immortal words of Mario van Peebles from the movie Heartbreak Ridge - Don't go away mad...just...go away.

rozb said...

I am so sorry I missed going in on Miss Two Cents, also known as Ye Ol' Thirsty Ratched One. *pouting and kicking rocks*

I still left a comment on her corny Captain Obvious ass.

Just so I can get my childish antics out of my system - Na Na Na Na Boo Boo - you just mad 'cause he don't want nothing like you!

Earthangel172 said...

I hate I missed all the action today but you gotta love BougieLand for stepping in and serving up a can of whoop ass on that troll. The key to getting rid of a troll is to ignore them. Let's make that our collective New Year's resolution. #NoCountryForTrolls

Anyhoo, I completely cosign on GAM's post. Growing pains indeed but the best is yet to come I believe. Now, will there be a BougieLand section at the wedding? Inquiring minds want to know...LOL

Earthangel172 said...

"Now how about you have a seat of shut the entire f*ck up?"

Do.Not.Resuscitate. LMAO!

Earthangel172 said...

This!

I have seen how aggressive men can be when they are trying to holler. In downtown Houston, the city bus system has a lot of transfer routes through its business district. Men from every background can be found there. I've had men who reeked of alcohol approach me. One of my co-workers had her arm broken by a strange man. She refused his advances, he got pissed, went off on her and then tried to steal her purse. A scuffle ensued and he broke her arm.

Rubie said...

DEAD at yall going IN on ole girl about her somebody will take your place comment LOL

#thatisall 

aisha oaktree1122 said...

wait what girl?? what'd i miss?

Leo the Yardie Chick said...

Some poster came in here some time ago, dropping Jamaican curses like she was back in JamRock with her crew.

Leo the Yardie Chick said...

My reply to Aisha: http://www.blacknbougie.com/2011/12/when-to-admit-you-suck-not-in-good-way.html#comment-387703708

Seriously...I'm Jamaican, and she had me wondering what place she thought this was. O_O

aishao1122 said...

WOW really  Do you know how long it takes to spell in patois correctly?? She was crazy for tha.     whispers *for a second i thought she was talking about one of us, i was like 'what did i do?'*

Leo the Yardie Chick said...

LOL! Trust me - when I saw her posts, I was wondering which bar I walked into. Felt a bit too much like home! XD

CaliGirlED said...

LOL! Aisha you know we're all good up in BougieLand!

CaliGirlED said...

Well damn!!!

CaliGirlED said...

We stay learning in BL! Each one teach one!

CaliGirlED said...

Ding ding ding ding ding!!! Good answer!

CaliGirlED said...

"(with a half-time show thrown in for xtra credit)"....DEAD!!!

CaliGirlED said...

Hmmm

CorettaJG said...

Oh Lord! I'm late (day job is making me do trial prep) and I miss all this excitement! 

Don't worry, I am making notes for the inspiration file plus I will be in Dallas over part of the holidays visiting my sister and my May bride.  Just putting it out there. :-) 

CorettaJG said...

I'm here! I'm late but I'm taking notes!  I'll have the contingency file ready in case of a holiday proposal. :-)

michaeldavis said...

I just read this... and I'm a day late.  but MA'AM.

Brenda Kay said...

Bye. Don't let the door hit you where the Good Lord split ya...

J B said...

Oh yeah.  Marquis cut.  :)

Natasha said...

Thanks Gamma, I did.

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