Tuesday, December 20, 2011

The Holiday Party - WDDDA?


This was a Christmas party but we could call it a lesson in WDDDA (Where Dey Do Dat At)?

Last Thursday night, John held his first annual holiday bash. It was a combination of his friends, family and coworkers. We have met a few of his coworkers before - side-eye worthy to say the least. Let me give you some highlights from the party:

1. Who brings his mother along to the office holiday bash? Who DOES that? Especially your inappropriate loose-lipped Russian mother? WDDDA? One of John's peers brought his Mama along. Mama Evangeline was... special. Walked in the door, looked around and asked, "A black man lives here? Owns this? Really?" Ma'am. 

Once she got over that, she availed herself of the open bar... freely. She mixed peppermint schnapps and vanilla vodka... as shots. She began to relive her disco days as the night wore on. When she started dry-humping Wes and saying, "Don't you want to boogie with me?" - her son took her home. Too little. Too late.

2. Someone always says one thing too many. John proposed to Annette. She said (and I quote) "Hell yes!" Her family was there and she has that one cousin who is uh - outspoken. Interrupted the joyous celebration by shouting, "Girl, we'd thought you'd never find nobody good." WDDDA? They are planning an early fall wedding. Woo-hoo, another BnB nuptial.

3. Some chicks just won't disappear. The night of "the world is too damn small" continued as another of John's coworkers showed up with the old HnQ chick: David's one night stand and Jay's one time date. Man she gets around. Are there only 7 viable black women in the Allen-Frisco suburb of North Dallas? Apparently. At any rate, for whatever reason she completely ignored David and waltzed straight over to Jay with much attitude. Guess he never called her. And we all know how she feels about that. There was a moment where I was fairly positive that Joy was going to take off her earrings and ask old girl to meet her out back.

4. Finally and Amen. Let's lift a cocktail to Trey. His flu turned into a nasty case of bronchitis and laid him low for a little while. On the up side, when a girl he used to work with found out he was sick - she gave him a call and came by with food. The quickest way to Trey is through fine dining. He brought her to the party and guess what? She's sane! Cute. And brainy. We were stunned. We're holding our collective breath.

5. You ain't got to go home but uh... As the party was winding down, we walked around to make sure no one had left behind coats, purses, whatever. In the downstairs guest room, one of the coworkers had climbed into bed and gone to sleep. I mean taken off shoes, watch, cell phone and slid up underneath the covers. WDDDA? How does one avail themselves of sleeping quarters without invitation? Who raised these people?!

Tomorrow... What NOT to do at an office holiday party. Thoughts, comments, insights? The floor is yours...

54 comments:

Lady4Real said...

LOL, SMH, there is never a dull moment with you and your friends Chele. You guys could be a great Sitcom, I would tune in every night.

MsJamie14 said...

I swear you make this stuff up. *hollering to high heaven*

Congrats John and Annette!

I wonder who's gonna get engaged next??? *whistling and avoiding eye contact* LOL

Earthangel172 said...

Congrats John and Annette!

Sounds like it was another night of pure f*ckery.  Our first and only black partner at my firm brought his mother to our annual holiday party when he was a 1st year associate. After the collective laser beam side-eye from blacks and whites alike, he came solo to all subsequent parties. LOL

1) It appears HnQ is here to stay but thankfully Joy kept it classy.

2) I'm hopeful for Trey.

3) FTW - Wes being dry humped by the Russian chick....LOL

michaeldavis said...

Congrats to John & Annette.  It's good to see someone that's been through the relationship ringer bounce back on a good note.

Earthangel172 said...

It's a tie between 3N and Chele and Jay and Joy.

::where's the door again?!" LOL

tishatweets said...

Oh em to the gee. I know nobody got in the bed and went to sleep. Like...not for real for real. Wooooooow.

Congrats to John and Annette! How wonderful! :)

Last, but certainly not least, yay for Trey! Sounds like he's in the early stages of #winning :)

MsJamie14 said...

It appears HnQ is here to stay but thankfully Joy kept it classy.

That chick is like herpes. LOL

Only1DivaC said...

Congrats to John and Annette! Glad to see good outcome for you John!!

Amen and amen to Trey for the sane girl! Now I need to start praying for that dang Shawn because you know he has no sense.

TrulyPC said...

Holiday parties are always something I have to mentally prepare for because ratchet always makes an appearance.  Por ejemplo...  getting your tacky behind into someone's bed and thinking it's okay!!!

Congrats to John and Annette! 

**Darth Vader voice**  Trey,  well done.:-)

Jubi The Great said...

Well David already told us he has no problem putting a ring on it, so....

Jubi The Great said...

Congrats John & Annette! That's wonderful. Another BnB wedding.

The Bougie Knitting Circle's prayers have been answered...now maybe Trey can keep this one around for a while.

Chele, you should start up a Bougie dating service...looks like you have the magic touch for getting couples together.

Lady4Real said...

I second this emotion.

blackprofessor said...

Congrats John and Annette!

Trey, this one sounds like a keeper so don't mess it up. 

blackprofessor said...

I say 3N before Jay, he seems really ready to put a ring on it, lol!!

Earthangel172 said...

True BUT Joy made a major move to the Big D! That has to count for something....LOL

Natasha said...

Congratulations John and Annette!  That is great.

Way to go Trey!

MsJamie14 said...

I agree! Besides Jay and that HnQ story was just in June. Clearly the GA Boys work fast when they see a good thing though. :)

Earthangel172 said...

True BUT Joy made a major move to the Big D! That has to count for something....LOL

Mykeia said...

This short post has taken my highly literate self five minutes to read.  Why?  Because I died from laughter after reading this line:  
Mama Evangeline was... special. Walked in the door, looked around and asked, "A black man lives here? Owns this? Really?"...I died.  Not because I think the line if funny...because it's just wrong on soooooo many levels, just wrong, wrong.  (I also have a client that is of that heritage and speaks this way...I digress.)
Who got into the bed at someone else's house?! YUCK.  I am sure that John's house is nice and clean, but uh, you don't know him like that.CONGRATS TO JOHN AND ANNETTE!!!

sherants said...

My company's holiday parties never disappoint.  There's a DJ who basically plays club music when the music starts I park myself right by the dance floor.   I don't know if there are any Seinfeld fans here but if there are - you might be familiar with Elaine's dance moves (lol), I think George Costanza described it as "a full body dry heave set to music"...there's always one such a sight.  Purely for my entertainment value, I would have to say this is a holiday party DO!

thinklikeRiley said...

John! My man - he ain't let NO grass grow unda his feet. *fist bump*
BTW, you need to burn them sheets and Febreze the hell out dat mattress coworker parked in. Dat's nasty yo.
I never met a Russian who didn't look at a well-off black man sideways but dat's another post.
Happy Holidays Bougie People.

Leo the Yardie Chick said...

There would be some choice words and phrases ringing through the house if a party guest pulled a No. 5 on me. I'm just saying.

Congratulations, John and Annette! WHOOHOO! Also, is it standard for every one to have a ratchet cousin?

Russian Mama....moving on.

Ms. HnQ - Sic her on DFKN, Y/N?

Trey's sane date - Will wonders never cease?

ClayJones said...

You have GOT to start YouTubing this stuff.

thinklikeRiley said...

Oh and before I forget *fist bump* to Three Stack - T-Chizzle. Way to turn a nasty illness into some Christmas cocoa. #ballin' #gamerecognizegame

Just_A_Thought1218 said...

Congrats John and Annette!!! *throws glitter*

And glad that Trey was no longer bringing the vibe down with his poor choice in companion.  Bravo, monsieur, bravo.

As for the rest of that shiggity? No. Ma'am.

CorettaJG said...

Congratulations John and Annette!!  Fall weddings are gorgeous!  I might have to just slide you those potential Dallas venues I was also putting away for the Onechele wedding file. :-)

SMH at all of the rest of this, lol!

aishao1122 said...

Congrats to John and Annette!!!!! is also holding breathe for Trey... as for all the rest?? yeah sounds about right for an office party..but wait y'all didn't find any inappropriate couples so it seems this party was way too tame

Angel Blanca said...

First, congratulations John and Annette!! I love Love, and it's even better when it's part of the BnB crew!!

Second, HnQ girlie must really be packaged nicely, as she does seem to get around to some of the nicest guys, albeit, never the same one twice, so...yeah even with the package, apparently it's filled with air or something less substantive.

Third, momma and cousin both need to bone up on their appropriateness skills, as they were way out of line. For future gatherings, I think someone should invest in that drug they give to alcoholics, which makes them sick if they imbibe.

Fourth, I think that particular co-worker might have taken the whole Goldilock and the Three Bears story too seriously. I'll bet s/he doesn't get too many more invites, huh?

Fifth, and finally, Trey, you are awesome. I knew it would find you when you least expected it. May this parlay itself into something wonderful and lasting.

GrownAzzMan said...

Way. Too. Damn. Funny.
Brought mama? The return of HNQ? In the bed though?
I swearfogud you make these up...

bashowell said...

Pure comedy!  Congrats to John and Annette. 

Angela said...

Congratulations Jay and Annette!

J B said...

Chele DID say when she first encountered HnQ that there was a "hint of skank".  Guess that's hard to wash off.

Jamie Wesley said...

Congrats, John and Annette! #bougielove - It's a beautifil thing!

Brenda Kay said...

Congratulation Annette and John. Fingers crossed for Trey. HnQ chick must have one of those "Serving Number --" dohickies hanging outside her front door. Co-worker showing up with his mother has issues that only a trained and licensed professional can help him with. Co-worker making himself at home in the guest bedroom, should be handed a bill for lodging and housekeeping - you treat someone's house like a hotel, then expect to be charged for the privilege. 

michaeldavis said...

"keep yo' heart Three Stacks....keep yo' heart"  *cue interlude*

maureen said...

Congratulations Annette and John!

AnnettePearl said...

Thanks for all the well wishes!

JohnKinPDX said...

What she said.

Alia said...

Congrats John and Annette! Black Luh in full effect!

I dont't even know what to say about these stories except that I love to read them!

ShawnSoze said...

That ring looked like a @OneChele bougie special. Unique and expensive.

ShawnSoze said...

Beg pardon?

SassyJJ said...

Congratulations John and Annette!  Best wishes for a wonderful life together!

suebhoney said...

 Why don't I ever get invited to parties like this..LMAO!!  I would have loved to see that man's momma grindin.  And who falls asleep over someones house that they don't know ha ha!  And Trey?  I'm sooo shocked, but I'm holding my breath too.   I can't wait till next year. LOL!   Congrats  John and Annette!  (unfortunately  you can't pick your family and every family has one)

tiffanyinhouston said...

Congratulations John and Annette!! God is good!

That other mess, well...I'm going to keep my comment clean and pristine for once!

Only1DivaC said...

You are excused, sir!

mojitochica said...

Hah, I wish my holiday parties were this entertaining!  Congratulation to John and Annette!  #5 really got me though e_O  I would have called a cab for his ass and woke him up when it arrived.

The Pro Diva said...

Wait....you mean to tell me that this guy just found a room and got comfortable? I can't! All in all it sounds like you all had a great time, minus a few folks that acted out. Congrats on the success of your first party! By the way, did you kick the sleeper out?

Jazzy Jazz said...

Congrats John and Annette! 

Sol_dier said...

congratulations :)
This is news is just beautiful. Wishing you guys all the best. :)

JoycelynC said...

First of all congrats John and Annette! Unfortunately we all have those relatives.  LOL to the rest of this!

GammasWorld said...

Congratulations John and Annette!    I'm leaving the rest of this alone as my goal for 2012 is to focus on the positive.   LOL   

Monica said...

1. Mommy, noooo!
2. The bitchy cousin. Every family has at least one. Ugh.
3. I'm glad no one had to break out the Vaseline.
4. Yay for Trey!
5. Bwahaha! The sleepy drunk: the embarrassing but least threatening of the drunks.

CaliGirlED said...

Who brings their classless mother to anything???

Yay for John and Annette!!! Congratulations!...Every family has at least one relative that just doesn't know what the hell to say! (I have more than one, but I digress)...SMH

Wishing you guys MANY HAPPY YEARS together!!!

BklynBajan said...

This is going down as one of the worst holiday seasons ever (too much death this month to care about being merry). However the news of John & Annette's engagement made my grinch heart grow 2 sizes bigger (hey its a start). Congratulations to you both!

HnQ is the blogger gift that keeps on giving! Rereading that post had me in stiches all over again! She'll be back I'm sure.

Have a safe and wonderful Christmas everyone!

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