This was a Christmas party but we could call it a lesson in WDDDA (Where Dey Do Dat At)?
Last Thursday night, John held his first annual holiday bash. It was a combination of his friends, family and coworkers. We have met a few of his coworkers before - side-eye worthy to say the least. Let me give you some highlights from the party:
1. Who brings his mother along to the office holiday bash? Who DOES that? Especially your inappropriate loose-lipped Russian mother? WDDDA? One of John's peers brought his Mama along. Mama Evangeline was... special. Walked in the door, looked around and asked, "A black man lives here? Owns this? Really?" Ma'am.
Once she got over that, she availed herself of the open bar... freely. She mixed peppermint schnapps and vanilla vodka... as shots. She began to relive her disco days as the night wore on. When she started dry-humping Wes and saying, "Don't you want to boogie with me?" - her son took her home. Too little. Too late.
2. Someone always says one thing too many. John proposed to Annette. She said (and I quote) "Hell yes!" Her family was there and she has that one cousin who is uh - outspoken. Interrupted the joyous celebration by shouting, "Girl, we'd thought you'd never find nobody good." WDDDA? They are planning an early fall wedding. Woo-hoo, another BnB nuptial.
3. Some chicks just won't disappear. The night of "the world is too damn small" continued as another of John's coworkers showed up with the old HnQ chick: David's one night stand and Jay's one time date. Man she gets around. Are there only 7 viable black women in the Allen-Frisco suburb of North Dallas? Apparently. At any rate, for whatever reason she completely ignored David and waltzed straight over to Jay with much attitude. Guess he never called her. And we all know how she feels about that. There was a moment where I was fairly positive that Joy was going to take off her earrings and ask old girl to meet her out back.
4. Finally and Amen. Let's lift a cocktail to Trey. His flu turned into a nasty case of bronchitis and laid him low for a little while. On the up side, when a girl he used to work with found out he was sick - she gave him a call and came by with food. The quickest way to Trey is through fine dining. He brought her to the party and guess what? She's sane! Cute. And brainy. We were stunned. We're holding our collective breath.
5. You ain't got to go home but uh... As the party was winding down, we walked around to make sure no one had left behind coats, purses, whatever. In the downstairs guest room, one of the coworkers had climbed into bed and gone to sleep. I mean taken off shoes, watch, cell phone and slid up underneath the covers. WDDDA? How does one avail themselves of sleeping quarters without invitation? Who raised these people?!
Tomorrow... What NOT to do at an office holiday party. Thoughts, comments, insights? The floor is yours...