For the most part, I say what people do in the privacy of their own homes is their business. Really. Do you and her and him. Whatever, boo-boo, it's your world. I truly believe this. Until the privacy of your home hits the internet and twenty people send me the link.. then I have a problem.
I know in this age of sexting and camera phones and folks swapping body part pics like post-it notes that a film of your naked aerobics may not seem like a big deal. It is to me. That seems like too much sharing. I recall a few years ago meeting a guy online and the third sentence he typed was "send me pictures of your body" - wait, what? I don't know you like that. Can I get a coffee and a zip code where you live before you ask for previews of the good 'n plenty?
One of the exes really wanted to make a sex tape. Which was surprising as he was a bit of a celeb and you would think he'd be more cautious about that sort of thing. Nevertheless, he persisted in asking and I persisted in saying hell naw. He brought it up any time there was the most remotely related conversational thread:
Me: "Let's go see a movie tonight."
Him: "Or we could stay in and make a movie tonight."
Le Sigh. It's not that I'm a prude. I'm really not. But:
1) I have no desire to see and hear myself in the throes of cocoa. None whatsoever.
2) I just know I'd be the one person whose housekeeper exterminator cable repair guy ex-s.o.-with-a-grudge stumbled across it and decided to unleash it on YouTube.
3) I'm trying to get through life with only a certain number of people seeing me naked.
And last but not least 4) BougieMom is still alive and kickin' - I'd prefer not to send her to the grave with that image in her mind.
I know, I know. Believe me the ex assured me hundreds of time that we would make the video, watch it and then erase it. No harm, no foul. Yet and still.... can't do it.
In speaking with a male friend of mine last week, he confessed that he and the ex-wife had made a few of these videos and now that they were separating, he was concerned that she had copies somewhere and would leak them to the board at the university where he now teaches. I said I could see where that would be a little bit of a problem but since it was him and his wife and they were consenting adults, it wasn't as bad as others. Then he shared a few details about the goings-on immortalized on these videos. After I got over the ick factor I advised him to seek and destroy the evidence.
What say you, BougieLand? Could you make (have you made) a tape? What would you do if it ended up on YouTube? Should people that work in positions of "moral authority" just stay away from cameras while naked? Thoughts, comments, experiences? Do share...
115 comments:
*looks around* Oh, everybody shy today?
Fine.
I totally did that ish. And lemme say - it's best to leave for that for the professionals. Not as flattering as you think it might be. Especially when you forget the camera is there and your true game face is captured on film? Not. pretty.
The key to capturing the cocoa is digitizing. Record it, delete it and wipe the card it was on.
That is all.
About ten years back Mr. Waite and I decided to "spice things up" a bit but we're both so old school that we stayed under the covers the entire time. So the film was just a lumpy comforter shaking and moaning. We laughed ourselves silly over that one.
"So the film was just a lumpy comforter shaking and moaning." LOL
Yeah um...
I will have to say a vehement no on this one.
And file it under TMI.
The tape that Isaac Kennedy released of he and Jane pretty much scared me from staring in my own film! I mean they were married when they filmed it (them) and then when they weren't, "Hello world"!
If I were to ever make one with the "hubby", record, review, (laugh) delete.
What Riley said. Been there, done that and it looked... not good. You really need to stay aware of the camera and the lighting and uh - angles for it to be watchable. And I was not aware of some of my personal sound effects. Quite unfortunate sounding.
aight, since my boy riley is being honest, i will be too. i haven't...but i would. actually, i really want to. however, i can't and i won't (see my comment from yesterday).
i stay away from cameras in general. no pics of me drinking, taking body shots, stirring cocoa, doing keg stands, bascially anything that would have me pulled into a meeting that starts with "ummmm, rev....".
I would consider it with my husband. He would be someone I would trust (duh), it keeps things a little spicy, I like how I look nekkid, and if it were ever to get out it would be a minor deal cuz hey I'm married to the guy.
Until then...HECKIE NAW!
I don't do my own nails because they have people for that. I feel the same way about po.rn. They have people for that.
Been there, done that, destroyed all evidence. If anything should get out I would just have to own the fact that I looked hella good in it and do a reality show. Anyone up for the Real Bros of Santa Monica? LOL
It's on the bucket list. Sometime before I love my bedroom physique. No copies, no distribution deals. One night only.
This is a never ever no no for me. Doesn't matter how good it is, how much love there is or how much trust there is... Evidence leaves you exposed and completely vulnerable and that is when shit happens.
*reads post slowly* So I guess I need not ask?!
*kicks trashcan*
The Real Bros of Santa Monica! *hollers*
Have never done it and have no intentions of doing so. Make that an emphatic he** no even with a husband.
*raises hand slowly* I would totally do it with my future husband but we would have to instantly destroy it once we got done watching.
"And I was not aware of some of my personal sound effects. Quite unfortunate sounding."
*picking myself off the floor*
Have several seats, sir.
*fist bump* on the bedroom physique
People need to have a "what happens in the bedroom (living room, kitchen table) stays in the bedroom" mentality. Nothing wrong with a little freaky until someone tries to use it against you. That should just be part of the breakup rules. If we break up, we destroy all potentially embarassing letters, emails, films, etc.
I'd do it. I'm an exhibitionist anyway. If it leaked, I'd have to deal with everybody's hate cuz I look good. :-)
*perks up* Hey there. How you doing?
*fist bump* i am exhibitionist too. i'm all about public cocoa. thought i am against cameras, i am not against an audience....
*lets myself out*
[Comment backspaced to protect the innocent]
We see you working...LOL
Like x5
Now? Naw, cause I'm unmarried & nobody wants to see my rolls & whatnot.
With the hubby & after dropping a few pounds/toning up? We can discuss some film/watch/delete action.
Only caveat is that we have to use a tripod - no holding the camera & trying to stir the cocoa a la Ray-J & Kim K.
Kitchen table huh? Gotta watch the quiet ones! LOL
*hollers*
I have zero problem with video cocoa. As long as I get a kick back on the distribution deal, the masses may enjoy.
No, I could not make a video. It's not because I'm holier than thou. I dated an artist and he wanted to draw a picture of me nekkid, talking about "you are in top shape form." No.Sir. My running line has been, one day I might run for the office.
Do you take PayPal?
Do you take PayPal?
Hello Bougieland, missed you guys.
I had an ex many moons ago who wanted to video tape us, I was 19 and told him hell to the naw, we ain't married and I don't trust you like that. He had the audacity to show me a tape of him and his ex, nail in the coffin. He wasn't fittin' to be broadcastin' me to whomever, whenever.
Now me and the current hubs, we do what we do and keep it spicy whenever possible. He's a Scorpio and I'm a Leo. He has had pictures of me in the past and no one ever knew of them, except my mother-in-law but she was snooping in his room. I had pictures of him in the past and no one ever knew of them. He and I have a trust level with each other and a respect level with each other that we have never had with anyone else so we do what we do and keep it to ourselves.
I plead the 5th. I do agree though. *runs and hides in a corner*
I guess if Ron Jeremy can be naked and proud on camera, anybody can (but not me).
Besides - I don't want to see my "O" face or any other part on film and up close.
*falls out the chair* Boy you are a mess!!!
No, Ma'am. People get mad and all the promises of no one ever seeing the tape/pictures go out the door. "Remember I have that nasty tape of us doing it." I just couldn't. The memories will have to do.
Yeah I imagine my "O" face is only sexy to the one causing it! LOL
It was pointed out to me that my "O" sounds and my weight lifting sounds are kinda similar. O_o...Is that good or bad? LOL
I might have done it in the past. Instead, I had an asshole ex who taped me without my knowledge or permission and then we broke up and he tried to say if I let him keep the TV and DVD player, he wouldn't release the tape. :-/ Luckily, nobody gives a shit and the tape was grainy as hell so that strategy backfired on him.
See this shiggity right here? Slapworthy.
*looks at Jay's picture* Do you have a URL to share?
Ha! Get it, girl!
I could and I would if
1) I'm married to the guy
2) We erase after watching and I get the SIM card
3) We keep it simple - no need to try all sorts of new stuff for the camera
Videos? No. Never have, never will. Still photos? Did it. Thankfully, the photos were returned after the divorce.
PSA: #1 Mayhaps some should be open to watch themselves so as Jake alluded to you become aware of certain faces/sounds/moves that are not as sexy as you think they are so you can do better.....
PSA#2 As long as you have a cousin Tyrone there should never be an issue getting property returned. I may be bougie but trust my cousins are not.
PSA#3 If you are truly equally yoked then your partner will have as much to lose if he decided to publish said tape. Not only does he look like a cad but will enrage the protective nature of said cousins mentioned in #2. Don't play director with the youngin you supporting - save said activities for grown man who doesn't want said tape played on overhead during his big meeting with the boss and his clients.
I don't brag on what I've done and the promised ones know "what happened in Vegas stays in Vegas". Folks are too dang prudish and judgemental. Everything ain't for everybody.
Yeah, no.
I model and take artistic nudes so my goodies are on these innanets but not in a spread eagle bent over a chair type way and I don't want them to be either.
I've got a pretty nice mirror set up and get down with provocative to *borderline* explicit pictures but that's it. If the mirror hook up and steamy photos aren't enough then Houston we have a problem.
Bi*ch.slap.worthy!
making notes... (future blackmail material) :p
ROTFLMAO @ #1 and #2!!! You are a fool!
Tyrone: Man just hand over the tapes and we won't have any problems!
(pow! zok! splosh! whamm! crash! oooff!)
Idiot: But I gave you the tapes!
Tyrone: That's for making me have to come over here!
my kinda woman. :-)
:salut: do your thing lady :)
I never say never but this isn't in my top twenty list of things to do.
My peoples, lol.
I'm trying to master "milking the lingam". Google it if you're not already familiar cause it'll take things to a whole 'nother level.
In a few months I'll be looking all innocent on a park bench in broad daylight doing all sorts of punany gymnastics.
* Hey Foxy, hold the door*
Bitch slap & pressing charges worthy.... and isn't extortion a felony?
Ol' boy got lucky you just laughed in his face.
I could. With the right person, for the right person, on my equipment, where it would be immediately removed from my computer and stored on a flash drive kept on my person or a safe deposit box in my name only. The problem arises when you don't keep absolute control of that media -- you have no business letting someone else handle any part of that taping, storing, and showing, from start to finish.
^5
If you haven't already heard invest in a Kegelmaster ;-)
Keglemaster, jade eggs, contortion and gymnastics classes, girl I'm on it.
Side Eye Disclaimer: The contortion and gymnastic classes are for my own, non-sexual amusement... they just have carry over benefits.
As a performer, I can safely say that how you think you look while performing is not as good once you watch it.
Yea.............................I'll pass. I'd have to put in too many security details to ensure that tape never debuted in public. By the time all that's done, making the tape would be like cleaning the bird cage - let's get this over with.
You want to watch us having sex so badly? Install a floor-to-ceiling mirror.
And this right here underlines my reluctance.
What the....did he think the video of him and the ex would convince you to partake? *side-eye*
It certainly is, and I'd be pressing charges.
As a performer I'll say that you don't look as good as you think you do while performing.
This comment right here is why I am always going to be hesitant. I am not sure I would actually want to watch it because I might find myself totally unflattering. Its best to live in my own imaginary world in that regard.
i've never made a tape. i wouldn't be opposed to making one once i get married. the thing that's stopping me from making one now is that i would hate to make one and it got out and my future wife became privy to it. besides that i wouldn't care who saw it. enjoy the show.
Im hot so it would be a great look with my future husband but just my luck me and my mini celebrity status having self would be all over media take out and every other blog site.
I would have to get up on these here intranets like Draya ( bbwives la) begging folks to pray for me cause the tape fell into the wrong hands. (yes she did do that, I was thinking booboo you are a stripper why are we praying bout your nakkid tale being on display again. Do you want us to pray thats its better than Kimmy K or pray that you look like you know what you doing so you can get alot of money off the deal!)
Girl you kill me sometimes! Just dead right now!
Nope, Nada, Nein, and a Hell to the naw. Those things never turn out well. Knew a couple that did that for fun, house got broken into, and now , all tapes are gone. Where they will end up, who knows....uggh.
Could I make a sex tape? Lemme see....HELL and NO.
Sounds like it's time for some Bougieland After Dark!
Damn. I need to get on top of my game.
There's something exhilarating about almost being caught. Nothing like a park in the middle of the night....TMI? Oh....ok. Bye ya'll
*laser beam side eyed him* I don't know what the fool was thinking but Papa ain't raise no fool. "What he did to her, he will do to you." Words I live by so if he showing off her Kim K moment and she wasn't even that cute I knew he would be broadcasting me for decades to come, soooooo he got a major no and we broke up. S.N.o B moment on his part
LOL
This!
BUT....I was married to my daughter's father at the time and it was before camera phones and all of that. We watched, we laughed and then we burned the tape. If I get married again, would do it again if the opportunity presents itself. Same rules apply though...tape it, watch it and burn it.
Too funny! LOL
LOL!
Man, that's a real horror story. O_O
This right here scares the crap out of me.
O_O Oh snap!!!
oh yea...try the parking lot of an apartment complex, middle of the night, on the hood of the car
*sees myself out again*
This is exactly why I don't get down and have "naked, grown up fun" with ANYBODY who doesn't have as much to lose as I do...and that is also why the revolution will NOT be televised. And neither will streaming video of us doing the freak nasty on the television, the innanets or anywhere else, for that matter..
No!! Nah..... I wouldn't ever dream of making a sextape.....*clutching my pearls* :
I like the mirror action. Definitely a turn on! A few pictures with current SO. Was a semi-pro photographer in the past and have some nice pics. I could be convinced to go live in the future. Stay tuned.
*locks the door behind Foxy* LOL
Would I make a sex tape? Let me go and think about it.... 30 seconds later, I'm back with mood music, candles, camera lights (nothing worse than a sex tape where it's too dark to appreciate the proper views) multiple camera's for different angles, and 3 of my patented concoctions aka "I can't believe I just did that for you" drinks.
I've played around with it, but I've never taken the time & money to make a good quality tape.
If it ended up on Youtube/WSHH. So what? Now people know my secret, I have sexual organs and I like to use them to the best of my abilities. Hopefully anyone that is watching is doing the same in their bedrooms/kitchens/offices/fitting rooms/etc...
I honestly think that this whole furor over sex tapes from celebs and the like is completely overrated. It seems like America has this moral hypocrisy thing going on, i.e. love doing all types of thing at home but jump over anyone that gets put on blast for doing the same things they've done.
Like a recent conversation that I had, before the Kim K divorce thing happened (which actually does look bad) she had a horrible reputation. Now I'm admittedly very clueless about the whole reality celebrity life, but from what I know, she made a sex tape with Ray J that got out, and then she dated a couple of people and went back and forth between them or something like that. Which apparently adds up to being a H* beyond all *o's.
Now my thing is, we all have known girls that did something freaky with their dude (aka the sex tape) dated somebody else that they couldn't leave alone (aka breaking up to make up) or had a quick fling. Now how come when Kim K. does these things it's so horrible, but when you or your girl does it, it's no big deal???
Okay I'm stepping off of my soapbox and getting back to this overdue Test
(Since I started rambling, I should have said that people in moral positions should be free to do what they like with their partners *as long as no one is getting unwillingly hurt* without people hypocritically condemning them for doing the same thing that they do at home.)
My wife now reads this blog so I have nothing at all to add except - grown folk can do what they want when they are grown.
That's interesting. Slightly off subject, but I have an interest in photography and I would like to take artistic nudes once my skill level gets there, but how do I go about meeting willing models without coming off like a dirty old man?
Please Please Please use a Tripod and proper lighting! (sorry Pet peeve)
Park in the middle of the night next to the busy road? Check
Foxy....... you sure that I don't know you from the past? That's sounding mighty familiar.
What color was the car?
*snickers*
No judgment on those that will or do. But not for me.
park in broad day light, with a kids party going on on the other side of the field--check mate
it was red or black. i don't really remember.
*puts myself on bougieland probation*
Make a sex tape?
hell-to-the-NO
I can't even begin to think that I'd stay in the same house with someone who would even suggest that to me.
I have a co-worker with a teenaged son. What she tells me about these young women just boggles my mind. The youth have no sense of what should be kept PRIVATE.
If I wanted to be a porn star, I would have gone into the profession.
You set up an art studio that is not your residence, advertise as a studio, offer a fair fee, have another person, preferably female, present during the shoots, and remain businesslike and professional with the women who respond before, during, or after the shoots.
Oh. That's pretty simple when you put it like that. Thanks for the advice. I'm sure I can research how to find cheap studio's for rent but how would I find out what reasonable rates are? Remember I'm somebody who won't be making any money from this, it's purely in the interest of good clean fun.
If you don't remember the car, then I know we definitely don't know each other :P
Hmmm..... you had to throw the kids in there to make this particularly difficult. Can I raise you on a bridge overlooking a highway while the sun was still up and getting honks from passing motorist?
Some amateur shit, no.
Now some picksures of strategically placed body parts, yep!
Okey-dokey, I see you two sliding off the PG-13 train and inching towards NC-17!
lol, well i like the ladies so the chances were slim to begin with, but it was worth a shot...
you can raise me, but since i don't wanna get kicked outta bougieland for life, you win.
No. Thank. You. I don't mind making the memories... I just don't want them preserved digitally.
I have a friend who made a few with an ex. She had to stage a Mission Impossible to get in his house and get them back.
I don't care how much in love you are with someone now, you never really know what someone is capable of if things go sideways...
Check art schools in your area, maybe even take a class or two, and ask their models what they're paid. Some schools probably even rent studio space for short sessions so you wouldn't have to maintain a space you're not using all the time.
Parking lot of a busy restaurant at lunch hour..Driving down Rodeo drive with the sunroof open and driver in high profile vehicles doing double-takes..In a glass elevator... I'll stop there. Not sure of the statute of limitations on some others...LOL
@chele. Oops this slid into one of my favourite topics, and so I'll just go sit in the corner by myself for now.
You're full of good advice. Thank you.
Also...
1. If you're at least halfway decent and not just a man with a camera, you could do TFP/TFCD (trade for print or CD). Just know the models will expect that the photos to be edited/touched up before you hand them over and a turnaround of about 2 weeks.
2. Craigslist & Model Mayhem would be good areas to source models if you post a casting call. CL will get you more responses, but MM would allow you to get a feel for the model (their look, experience level, and ect.) since you can view their profile before you message them or before you reply to their message.
3. So long as your set up is legit (Ex. proper back drop, equipment, lighting set up) and you're not skeezy, an in home shoot is fine. Until you build a reputation, you'll most definitely want to have someone else at the shoot, preferable a woman like C. Nelson said, or you'll have to deal with models bringing escorts or new/clueless models.
4. If you have a habit of physically posing your models, you're gonna have to cut that out or make it known up front when shooting nudes... artistic, implied or otherwise.
HTH
I agree with what you've said but for me... Kim K is a heaux because she's vapid and sloppy with her ish, not simply because she had a sex tape and did the whole back and forth thing.
Do you see hordes of people calling Angelina Jollie a heaux? No.
Why? Because there's more to being a heaux than stirring cocoa with enthusiasm, frequently, and with a value pack of stirrers.
To me, heaux = someone's who's business is all in the streetz and, by the looks of it, she/he has been kicking it all up and down the street as well... It takes being both promiscuous and lacking discretion to get the title.
Okay, and if that's the case, then I stand, corrected. I (purposefully) know little about anything called a Kardashian, so I am unaware of how she carries herself. I was just ranting about the complaints I normally hear people make about her, but your reasons for calling her a heaux are much more reasonable than what I typically see
Okey-dokey, I see you two sliding off the PG-13 train and inching towards NC-17!
No!! Nah..... I wouldn't ever dream of making a sextape.....*clutching my pearls* :
Bitch slap & pressing charges worthy.... isn't extortion a felony?
Ol' boy got lucky you just laughed in his face.
Hello Bougieland, missed you guys.
I had an ex many moons ago who wanted to video tape us, I was 19 and told him hell to the naw, we ain't married and I don't trust you like that. He had the audacity to show me a tape of him and his ex, nail in the coffin. He wasn't fittin' to be broadcastin' me to whomever, whenever.
Now me and the current hubs, we do what we do and keep it spicy whenever possible. He's a Scorpio and I'm a Leo. He has had pictures of me in the past and no one ever knew of them, except my mother-in-law but she was snooping in his room. I had pictures of him in the past and no one ever knew of them. He and I have a trust level with each other and a respect level with each other that we have never had with anyone else so we do what we do and keep it to ourselves.
Have several seats, sir.
*looks around* Oh, everybody shy today?
Fine.
I totally did that ish. And lemme say - it's best to leave for that for the professionals. Not as flattering as you think it might be. Especially when you forget the camera is there and your true game face is captured on film? Not. pretty.
The key to capturing the cocoa is digitizing. Record it, delete it and wipe the card it was on.
That is all.
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