Monday, November 28, 2011

Could you date... a religious fanatic?


As usual happens over a holiday weekend, I played catch up with a few friends. I still have a few to go but it's always interesting/eyeopening/entertaining to see what's been going on with people over the last twelve (twenty-four?) months.

I caught up with a girlfriend of mine from way, way back in the day. She is a reformed wild child who now punctuates her points by adding Bible verses to the end of her sentences. They seem a little over the top but she's determined to tack them on. For instance, in discussing her youngest who is a teenager and more than a little rebellious she added, "I told her that she was a noble vine who became a degenerate plant. Jeremiah 2, you know?"

Um, alrighty then. Her big news is that she is dating a "minister" (I use the quotes because he just proclaimed himself a prophet of God one day) who only preaches and lives "Old Testament" faith. 

**brakes screeching**

Anytime I hear about someone who is only into one part (and not the best part) of the Bible, I just have to pump the brakes. Say what?

Apparently dude has made up a strict set of rules involving the conduct of the women of the world. Interesting things like not leaving the house after sundown. Only speaking when being spoken to and of course, my favorite - never denying The One God Sent To You sexual favors whenever you are called upon to do your duty.

So am I the only one who thinks dude is a two-cent wannabe cult leader in the making? Since I pull no punches, I advised her to run towards the river and turn left at the lamp without looking back. She is convinced that this man has been sent to her from God to teach her something. Yes, I agreed. He has been sent to tell you What Not To Do.

I've dated semi-religious, back-sliding religious, nebulous faith-based, and fake-ass calling themselves Christian folks. I've dated straight up sinners and a dude or two who were trying so hard to be pious it was pitiful. I've dated believers who are trying to walk the path and non-believers who didn't believe there was a path. My consensus has long been that I want somebody who is pew-sitting but not Bible-thumping.

Talking to girlie got me to thinking - could I date someone who was uber-uber-religious, bordering on fanatic? BougieLand, could you? Could date someone who went to church five days (or more) a week? Could you date an ordained minister or someone from a strict Orthodox sect? Would you feel comfortable? On the flip, if you are religious - could you date an Atheist? Doesn't that throw off the entire "equally yoked" concept? Could you build a long-term relationship with someone from a completely different religion? Would you convert? Is there such a thing as too religious? Any one, some or all of the above. Thoughts, comments, experiences  Do share...

94 comments:

taut_7 said...

No way I could date a religious fanatic. I'm into church. I believe in God. I believe Jesus the Christ died for my sins. i attend church and bible study when I can but I have no intention of dating a bible thumper. Christians can be some of the most judgmental people and that I don't time for that. I find it peculiar when people want to take things from the bible when it benefits them. 

Michele said...

I could not date a fanatic nor could I date a non-Christian.  I used to and it just didn't work.  The only scripture my ex-husband knew was that a wife should submit to to her husband.  I also dated a Muslim but the only Muslim doctrine he followed was not to eat pork and when he told me that God didn't have any children (i.e. Jesus) I knew it wasn't going to work.  I need someone who not only sits in a pew but also reads and understands the Word, someone who prays consistently for guidance, wisdom and revelation. 

CaliGirlED said...

I love the Lord, He heard my cry...! No I could not date a fanatic. I lover of God, a follower of Christ, yes. But a fanatic? Naw, you keep that craziness to yourself!...You should have told her, "Don't drink the kool-aid"!

The Word of God is the bible in it's entirety! That.is.all!
 

CaliGirlED said...

 Hallelujah and Amen!!!

CaliGirlED said...

 "I find it peculiar when people want to take things from the bible when it benefits them."...Convenient Christians

Jubi The Great said...

Absolutely not. No fanatics of any kind of ideology. After an early childhood in church & then a teenage upbringing as a Muslim, I'm now ideologically agnostic. I've always believed that my faith is MY faith, and I've never been a "we have to believe the same thing" type of person. As long as my views/beliefs can be respected, I can/will do the same for others, including my mate.

As an aside, yesterday the NY Times did a piece on Black atheists & how they feel ostracized within the Black community. Very interesting piece...

thinklikeRiley said...

Did ish right here is Riley's pet peeve about deep-fried-religified folx. How you like one verse but ignoring whole other chapters? No. Go away. Or go to hell. Whichever gets yo fake azz away from me faster.
*Douses self in holy water and flees*

thinklikeRiley said...

And btw- yo Sistah Friend need Jesus. WDDDA?

Ms_Toni said...

Nope. Can't do it for the religious fanatics nor the atheists. I'm Christian so I would prefer to date someone who is a Christian or, at the very least, spiritual.  I can't say for other religions (Judaism, etc...) but I believe if we were both respectful of our practices we could find some come ground.

But people who are strict fanatics about certain things tend to be controlling in other areas of their lives.  And that's not gonna work. Not leave the house til sundown? Uhhhh if I want a damn Chipotle bowl for lunch, I'm rolling.  Speak only when spoken to?  I'm sorry, I'm funny as hell and I random say things whether I'm being spoken to or not.  Sexual favors anytime to the one God sent you?  Oh...so we're just gonna skip the part when God said you do those things in marriage? Not that I'm a stickler about sex but come on Pastor Bruh. You don't copy and paste the Bible like a ransom note.  Ole girl has low #selfofsteam.

CaliGirlED said...

"I told her that she was a noble vine who became a degenerate plant..." 1) Her daughter probably had no idea what she was talking about!  2) If she's so into the bible she would know that she's speaking a prophetic word into her child, who's still growing and learning. (And then wondering why she's acting that way!)

I don't claim to be a perfect mother, but I also don't go around tacking on scriptures to everything I say...Hell I'm still trying to stop cursing! Still.trying.

Only1DivaC said...

Ok, Chele I swear you are in some of the conversations I had this weekend with some of my close friends. Anywho, I could not date an ordained pastor. I think part of that has to do with my family background. I have a generation of pastors in my family, including my father, so I purposefully steer clear from men that are in that profession. (FYI, I say pastor instead of minister because there is a clear distinction but that is another discussion for another time). On the other hand, I could not date someone who just plain didn't know Jesus for himself. I've been there, done that, and got the t-shirt. As such, one of my non-negotiables is finding that man that has accepted Jesus as his personal savior. I also need someone that not only sits in the pew but also puts actions to that pew sitting through reading and understanding the Bible, praying, and seeking guidance and wisdom from God on how to navigate this crazy life.

Grace said...

^5 for "deep-fried-religified"

Grace said...

Dude sounds like he's on his way to some cult-shiggity. I hate when people take religion and use it for their own means. Ain't nothing in the bible about women not being out after dark. What color of crazy is that?

I have dated an Orthodox Catholic and it was a struggle. We believed in the same things but come at them from different angles that just did not work for me. I also can't date an atheist. I'm not going to hell trying save random dude.

blackprofessor said...

I saw that piece and it was very interesting!!

ClayJones said...

Relationships are hard enough without getting involved with someone who can't agree on your basic beliefs with you. Maybe that's fun when you're young, all the conflict and debate but at the point I am in my life, I don't have it in me to try and get someone on the same page. I believe XYZ. If she's cool with it, okay. I'm not going to try and convince somebody of why I believe what I believe. Dammit, I just do. Either you with me or I'm onto the next.

BTW, tell your friend that Reverend WrongForThat is playing the oldest game in the book. He makes you think he knows something that you don't and if you don't get onboard the ship is going to sail without you. Once he has her on the boat, it's his rules. And he will use her up for his ego and his needs and then trade her in for the next gullible woman when he's done. She needs get off the boat. Like yesterday.

And if he starts mixing up a batch of Koolaid or Jello, she needs to run not walk in the opposite direction.

CaliGirlED said...

"deep-fried-religified folx" *hollers*

CaliGirlED said...

 "I'm not going to hell trying save random dude." *falls out the chair*

CaliGirlED said...

ALL OF THIS!!!

"Reverend WrongForThat" though??? *hollers, screams, dies from laughter*

AGDM said...

I have dated a range from the thumper, reformed thumper (thumper with a relaxer?), down to the atheist and I can't do the thumpers nor the athiest. My current is Catholic. We went last week, it was actually good (mixing baptist tendencies with Catholic type ceremonies/call and response). 

I know she is religious and I can appreciate that about her. In my opinion, its an easier pill to swallow when the person you are with or seeing is NOT trying to ram the word down your throat every time they speak.

Also in terms of the future, its good to know should some bambinos come from chexxin, that they won't grow up in a too "wayward" fashion (was that too west indian? My mom would term them "dragged up" instead of raised up).

Far as these "ministers" go, I hope y'all can see a wolf in sheep's clothing for what that is.
That is all.

tishatweets said...

Could date someone who went to church five days (or more) a week?

Depends on what he was doing at Church. is he in Ministry? On the payroll? Short of that, I struggle to see what he's doing there so often.

Could you date an ordained minister or someone from a strict Orthodox sect?

Yes. My ex-husband is (was? Might be? Not sure?) a Minister. His denomination isn't what I'd call Orthodox, though.

 On the flip, if you are religious - could you date an Atheist?

Absolutely not. Not Agnostic, either. He needs to be certain that he is familiar with and has done what Romans 10:9 says, and has fruit of that belief and relationship on his life. 

Doesn't that throw off the entire "equally yoked" concept?

Sure does! Many people don't see it as a problem. I do.

Could you build a long-term relationship with someone from a completely different religion? Would you convert?

No, and no. My spiritual walk is too big a part of who I am.

Is there such a thing as too religious?
Yes, there definitely is.

AGDM said...

so true!
I call that an opportunist.

tishatweets said...

Good point, Grace. I don't believe in entering into a romantic relationship to minister.

Dr. Peppa said...

I'm so glad I'm not the only one who look askance at people who just declare themselves members of the clergy or the ministry with zero credentials to prop that up.

tishatweets said...

Christians are supposed to judge, though. Each other, not outsiders, and it's supposed to happen in love. I concede that many times it's not done that way, though.

Regarding your second point, I believe that sometimes it's not as much that people are picking and choosing (though it for SURE happens, don't get me wrong) as it is that they are taking things out of the proper time/place/people context.

Sol_dier said...

Atheist  or different religion = Yes. No to the rest of the list. 

When looking at some self proclaimed 'christian relationships' they look like a subculture or genre of BDSM.
It just seems that both man and woman are involved in some long dominant & submissive role play that has just over grown the bedroom and seeped into their day to day lives with no end in sight.

Seems like torture.

ShawnSoze said...

The most "religious" people I ever met were the freak-nastiest sintastic people ever. Stayed up in the church house but the minute they stepped off the grounds the pitchfork and horns were in full effect.

So the spouting of the verses and the fervent Sunday morning prayer don't do it for me. You can only call yourself a Christian if you are striving to be Christ-like. I need to see some evidence.

I'm not against other religions or denominations, I just don't know a lot about them. I'd be open to listening if it wasn't done in a preachy, zealous fervor.

Jesse said...

Wayment - he's Old Testament and demanding the hot 'n sticky without marriage? How does that work? He sounds full of shit. She sounds stupid as .... anyway.

I'm not an organized religion person. I believe in a higher power and something beyond this life. So I'm not a good fit for someone who only sees it one way, their way, and if you don't agree, you're going to hell.

tishatweets said...

Agreed. Evidence. We should be able to know a tree by its fruit. AND. And. The best sermon is often one that you don't even have to preach. :)

Andrea M said...

They still make dudes like this? And women who listen to them?
It's 2011. Do better.

Slimuel L. Jackson said...

I couldn't date someone that went to church 5+ days a week, or someone that was part of a very strict sect of Christianity, etc. It has less to do with what I believe and more to do with the barriers it'd present to our relationship. A main point here being that someone's faith should never feel like a barrier, and if it does then the situation isn't gonna work. 

I also have a thing with people who are always throwing out Bible verses or relating every conversation to church. I understand the enthusiasm for salvation, but at some point it crosses over from being mission-driven to "I want everybody to see me as"-driven. I mention that part more so because of the story you told in the post. 

On being equally yoked, I've always interpreted that loosely. Every couple needs to decide what that means for them. One chick I dated, but didn't go to church with, used to mention that all the time. She'd try to bring me along but I just couldn't get down with the church she went to. We split for a multitude of reasons, but I think this was one of them. And to this day I wonder if she wanted me to be there so that we were "equally yoked" or because she wanted the congregation to see her with her man. 

bashowell said...

I admittedly have serious issues w/religion, so I'm out if I even think I heard "church".  I could date a fellow Agnostic or open-minded Atheist seriously.  I could date the average church-goer but not seriously.  Orthodox super anything nope.

Sol_dier said...

2nded

bashowell said...

*crying @ "thumper with a relaxer"*

Reecie said...

I can't date a religious fanatic, nor could I date an atheist. I want someone that believes as I do. He may not spend all of his time at church, but as long as we have similar belief systems we can roll. I'd consider dating a minister but I'd have to REALLY REALLY know what he's about, sometimes they are the ones with the most drama...

Guest said...

I havent read the Word in a minute but the last time I checked there was a clause against pre-marital sex, so his "never denying The One God Sent To You sexual favors whenever you are called upon to do your duty" interpretations should make your girl grab her running shoes if nothing else does!  That's what usually gets me about these so-called Christians, they always have their own interpretations of the Bible to fit their shady ways.  No sir!  I'd rather be with an atheist before someone turns me into a slave to his warped doctrine.  

CaliGirlED said...

"freak-nastiest sintastic" *hollers*


"You can only call yourself a Christian if you are striving to be Christ-like. I need to see some evidence."...THIS

Leo the Yardie Chick said...

Fanatics? Hell, no! Orthodox or atheist? Only if I'm orthodox or atheist.  Otherwise, a confrontation will erupt sooner or later.

Religion is such a contentious issue. *sigh* Not to mention the various Christian sects/denominations who swear up and down that they have the message 'right'. *le damn sigh*

Leon X said...

That relationship is a car and a tree waiting to happen.

CaliGirlED said...

"she wanted the congregation to see her with her man."...This one gets my vote. IJS

Duchess K said...

When I check Facebook it reads like a sermon from all of the bible verses! That’s great for them but it is not for me. I myself am not religious by any means or even close to a church person.  I can’t see myself with a minister or someone from an Orthodox sect it would be uncomfortable for both of us.  I would never ever date someone that only views things their way this includes religion and anything else. There are multiple ways to achieve a goal and this includes religion. I could and have dated people with a different religious backgrounds including Atheist. Not a one of the exs were fantatics or Orthodox. People that bring up religion to achieve their agendas are nothing but con artist. Interestingly the most reported scams in the South involve religion. *sips tea* I don’t buy into the common interpretation of equally yoked that people have to be on the same exact page.  Each person has walked their own path prior to a relationship. Being equally yoked should be about finding a way to walk a path together going forward.  Your girl needs to run like the wind. Dude is conning her out of her body, mind, spirit and more than likely money and resources.

rozb said...

I would hurt a pastor's congregation's feelings because I curse, drink, and party, and I would always be telling them "Nunya!" You have to have patience, fortitude, and a pretty large sense of community, because being a pastor's wife is like a job all on its own. A non-paying job (unless you're mega-churching...whole 'nother topic). A non-paying job where you ocassionally have to tap someone in the throat for getting out of pocket or disrespecting the marital bonds and stuff.

As for your friend, dude sounds like some broke-A Shaza from A Different World. When he stops bathing, wearing itchy burlap clothes, and telling her to help him with his concubines, she'll be looking for you to be her Harriet Tubman. That is not being equally yoked. He is conning her to the nth degree.

I'm just sayin'...

C Nelson said...

I couldn't do it. In fact, I had this very same debate not long ago, wherein I shocked some people by pointing out that I won't date a fundamentalist Christian (and probably not a fundamentalist of any other stripe either. No-one is cutting pieces off my babies for no better reason than "tradition" or "religion" "so they look like Daddy", for starters, so Jews are out of the running too...)

Some people wanted to declare that discrimination on the basis of religion. Me, I just know my stubbornly independent self is never going to be the one accepting a role in the house while he works his job, handles all the finances, and declines to be questioned because he thinks God put him in charge of me and I should just submit. No submit in my vows. None. I won't lie to you or God that way, because when I believe you're going wrong, Cap'n Mal has it exactly right: "I aim to misbehave."

rozb said...

I thought dudes like this got laughed at. Hard.

rozb said...

Like Bernie Mac in Friday "The Lawd is my sheperd and He know what I like!"

rozb said...

And stockpiling canned goods, ammo, and wives.

tishatweets said...

That--walking a path together--is exactly what being equally yoked is about. . But...like it says...how can two walk together except they be agreed? If I believe that Jesus is the Savior of the world and you don't? We ain't walking together. If you believe that I need to wear Hijab as part of my spritual walk and I don't? Not walking. If you believe you can have 4 wives as long as you can support them all and I don't? Not walking. That's what the equal yoke is about.

CaliGirlED said...

LMAO!!! Right!

Duchess K said...

I think those are extremes. And I dont see religion as an all or nothing.  If we have good communication and are talking I dont think it should be a barrier. Religion shouldn't dictate how two people reach decisions. If following a doctrine is that important to the person we would not continue dating.

CaliGirlED said...

Say it again!

honeybrown1976 said...

I'm a Christian married to a fellow Christian.

Hence, I could not marry an Atheist, Muslim or Jew because I wanted to marry someone of the same faith. As for denomination, I could marry a Lutheran, Catholic, Baptist, and so forth. I'm a moderate Christian as well as my husband. Someone too liberal in their Christianity or too conservative in their Christianity would not have been my husband.

Duchess K said...

True words... Maybe Ms. Grant can get her to swerve just in time.

ASmith said...

Not too long ago I went on a date with a minister.  Nothing came of it, we're friends, but of course that set off a whole lot of conversations about the realities of dating and possibly marrying a "man of the cloth."  I think I could date and marry the right minister.  However, I've seen the behind the scenes of the life of a family where somebody's in the pulpit every Sunday morning and it's not all rainbows and sunshine.  My concern would always be with dealing with everyone else's expectations of who I should be as someone attached to a minister, and perhaps even what my family should be like.

Now, a religious fanatic?  Whole other isha.  Not my cup of tea.  I think religious fanatics really miss the boat on what (in my case) Christianity really is all about and aside from being worried about all the wrong stuff, being fanatical is surely not helping my spiritual life.  Not to mention it's annoying.  More power to those who can, but Ashley can't.

MsJamie14 said...

I tend to stay away from people who are "extra" in any realm. I'm a person of moderation, whether it be eating, drinking,  uh...extracurricular activities...I'ma need to to diversify a bit.

Sasha Iman said...

Thirded.

 I had some questions early on, did some research, took a few courses at University, and after all of that.... I take issue with religion and [b]especially[/b] Christianity (not the
followers, the institution/religion itself) and would not be a good
match for anyone who is truly devoted. I wouldn't mind dating someone who attended church or held dear a certain religion for the spiritual aspect/life guidance it provides, but that's about it.

maureen said...

I'm with  OneChele, I like  them  pew sitting and  not Bible-Thumping. They are certain  days I can go for mass  9 days straight( this is usually twice or 3 times a year) and that is because what we call "Novena" in Catholic.  Other than that. I'm in  church 2-3 times a week, I like to say my Rosary (which I consider my medidation) at the church.
 I don't think I could date a minister or a strict orthodox sect;   I have some family members that are orthodox sect and it  is scary.
That advice you gave girlie is the  TRUTH,  she needs to make hard  left turn- her husband is borderline a cult leader.

GrownAzzMan said...

"My consensus has long been that I want somebody who is pew-sitting but not Bible-thumping"

This is me all day. I could not date anyone who was too far at either end of the spectrum. No atheists, no zealots.

GrownAzzMan said...

I agree with this entire post. Way past trying to change anyone's mind and you get extra bonus points for "Reverend WrongForThat" CTHU!

SingLikeSassy said...

The last time I went to church was for my Granny's funeral last year and before then I hadn't been to church in years, so I am prettttttty sure someone going five or more days a week would not be a good fit for me nor me for them.

Foxy Brown said...

ok, so i am a minister.....

first, if dude states that he only lives by the old testament, he should not be calling himself a christian (ya know being that christ is in the new testament and all).  also, he should be calling himself a rabbi and not a minister. second, the bible has just as much (probably more) to say about the conduct of men as it does women.  where his rules at?  third, yall stirring cocoa and not married...soooooo, you just gonna ignore a real rule to justify your made up ones? oh, ok....

i've dated all across the board.  they know going in that i'm a minister and that comes with "stuff".  if they can handle it, game on.  if not, move on.  it is hard being a minister.  it's harder dating one.  in my congregants eyes, i can do no wrong.  you, on the other hand, can do very little right.  i will not date the super religious. some folk really are too saved.  so heavenly bound, they are no earthly good.  as a minister, i will never date another minister.

btw, don't tell sista girl to go to the river, she will mess around and get baptized by rev knownothing and be hooked for life.  tell her to run to the hills like lot and dont look back.  better he be salty than her...(see what i did there?)

blackprofessor said...

My consensus has long been that I want somebody who is pew-sitting but not Bible-thumping - Agreed!  I also need to see if your words and deeds align.

OneChele said...

so heavenly bound, they are no earthly good Love that!

Ivory Tabb said...

Oh I hate when you see a couple in church and the chick is rubbing all on him, hand all over his back, hand gripped so tight- all that. I'm thinking dam calm down we see you got a man you don't have to be doin all that extra in the house of the lord! you suppose to be here to worship and get the word not let everybody in the congregation know you finally got a man that comes to church with you. Go take a seat on the back pew 

kjnetic aka Peter Parker said...

i think i'd be a little hesitant around someone who is extra-religious. I'd have to see more walking the path, than talking about the path. that being said, i absolutely wouldn't marry/date an atheist. non-negotiable for me.

La said...

As an adult, I am not terribly religious. For all intents and purposes, I would be considered a Christian, but I am WAY too liberal for most organized religions. (I recently got introduced to a Unitarian Universalist church, which seems more in line with who I am and what I believe). I was raised Catholic and converted to Baptist later on in life. My family was the 6 days of church a week folks; choir rehearsals and deacon board meetings and Bible study and Sunday school and 2 church services and every single special event in the whole damn city. I am STILL trying to recover. Lol Mostly because from an early age I realized what was being preached at me didn’t really ring true in my heart.
I mostly just need the person I am with to believe in SOMETHING. It doesn't have to be my God. But you gotta believe in something bigger than yourself. Something you feel responsible to, that guides your actions and informs your principles, even if it’s just being a humanist and feeling responsible for what you put out into the world.
I won’t say I couldn’t date someone super religious, but unless our values aligned, I wouldn’t even try. Any religions that espouse the subjugation of women, the persecution of gays, the denial of science or preaches prosperity theology need not apply.

La said...

Thank you! I was sitting here thinking to myself, "Um... it's been a long time since theology class but unless this guy is Jewish..." lol

La said...

This. I think the expectation of who and what I am supposed to be is more than I can deal with. I am the daughter of a minister of a very conservative church, and even the idea of how I am "supposed to be" is more than ridiculous. And I don't even attend the church.

La said...

"When he stops bathing, wearing itchy burlap clothes, and telling her to help him with his concubines, she'll be looking for you to be her Harriet Tubman. "

*cries* LOL

La said...

My mama asks the same thing about all the men I date; "Can you bring him to church?" Nevermind the fact that I rarely go to church. I think for some people it's more about the idea of what it means to attend church with someone, the image it's supposed to convey, and I am not interested in marking my territory in front of a bunch of old cougars or making other people feel good about the footing of my relationship. Now when my mama asks if I can bring him to church, I always reply with the same thing; "Only if I can also bring him to the strip club."

Slimuel L. Jackson said...

I'd be willing to bet a small amount of cash she's dating a deacon, elder, or some other reputable figure she can pose in a picture with then throw it on a placard and put it on the windshield of cars. 

BklynBajan said...

Word! Folks repeating what they heard someone else say and don't have the sense to read and understand for themselves. She's doing more damage to the pickney with her reckless prayers!

BklynBajan said...

It really IS that simple but thirsty people make excuses so you won't question what they are drinking....

bklynbajan said...

I'm not a minister but a grandchild of one and you said everything I was going to say.

Moabmu said...

If your friend is still with this fool "on that great gettin' up morning" we will all say "fare thee well" to both of them.

I'm half of an interfaith marriage. I'm Christian, my husband is Muslim. He respects my faith, I respect his. It works for us. Neither of us tries to force our beliefs on the other. 

'Couldn't have ever dated an atheist, no ma'am.

Is there such a thing as being too religious? Yes, indeed. It's called being a fake. Actions speak much louder than words. 

BklynBajan said...

I am the grandchild of a reverend.

If this man came at me with this interpretations of the Old Testament by the time I finished with him he'd be home bathing in his holy oil and looking for the next sucker to preach to.

I really need people to read the Bible for themselves and take responsibility to discern what others are saying and not take as law how someone else interprets the Bible. A child with elementary understanding of Bible Stories should know this man is not of the cloth!

I could date a minister if he was real. My grandfather left BIG shoes to fill so you can't come to me with some half baked theology and never ending church fund. I'm not a fanatic but I'd be willing to give a man of the cloth a chance depending on how I felt about his church. I already switched from the church I was raised in to Baptist. If I can't see myself taking on the responsibilities at his particular church then I wouldn't let the dating go that far.  I have no time for fanatics or bible verse repeaters. Live the word and stop worrying about the specs in other people's eyes while a plank is draining  your head of all its common sense. #wink

Duchess K said...

So a thirsty person is someone that allows for someone else to have a different belief and be an individual?

Singlelif said...

This is me all day long...

Singlelif said...

For me, and those that know me...the REAL question is, can this person (religious fanatics and the like), date me ?  On Thanksgiving Day I downloaded The Bible app on my iPhone, so that I could maybe read it..I'm working hard on "tryna get right...so I won't get left"...but  "he ain't thru with me yet", and I have a feeling it will be a looong time before he is..

However, I did go to a Catholic University, where I took a few mandated theology courses, and I have been known to halfway watch (listen to), a Sunday church show or two...shout out to Joel Osteen and his prosperity teachings. I go to church every third Easter or so..Y'all pray for me..

BklynBajan said...

Um no but a basic tenent of Chritianity is the belief that Jesus died for our sins. Thus believers are not bound by the laws of the Old Testament since we don't need Rabbi's to pray on our behalf but one can pray direct to God (I'm trying to keep this simple). He's cherry pickign rules that suit his personal ministry and that's not cool.  Allowing herself to be swayed by a man that only follows the Old Testament (yet has rules about out of marriage sex) shows deliberate refusal of who she claims to follow/worship. 

The thirst is pretending his interpretation is ok just to have a man. If she can quote all them scriptures that means she can read for herself and see what he is saying doesn't make sense. You can't call yourself a vegetarian and eat beef every day because your new boo said it was ok. If she likes it I love it I'm not losing sleep over her foolishness but understand that what they are practicing is not Christianity. Its not about doctrine or church rules but basic tenents of the faith.

Earthangel172 said...

All of this!

Earthangel172 said...

I don't claim to be a perfect mother, but I also don't go around tacking
on scriptures to everything I say...Hell I'm still trying to stop
cursing! Still.trying.

LOL...So am I.

Earthangel172 said...

Could date someone who went to church five days (or more) a week?
Depends. If he is not apart of a particular ministry at church, then Sunday morning service and mid-week bible study should be sufficient.

Could you date an ordained minister or someone from a strict Orthodox sect?
Honestly, no. There's no point in me dating a minister/pastor and subsequently putting in an application to be a potential minister's/pastor's wife. Plus I would be at the altar every week fooling with church folks. LOL

On the flip, if you are religious - could you date an Atheist?
That's a deal breaker for me.

Doesn't that throw off the entire "equally yoked" concept?
Yes.

Could you build a long-term relationship with someone from a completely different religion? Would you convert?
I could not build a long-term relationship with someone from a completely different religion. I have a hard time dealing with people who consistently bash Christianity so I definitely wouldn't date, marry or convert to a completely different religion.

Is there such a thing as too religious?
Yes and it can be dangerous. #Jonestown

Lady Ngo said...

Im one of those off-Christians so i don't think someone who uber-religious would appreciate me much lol. As for whether or not I'd be bothered by it, well as long as every other word out of their mouth isn't a bible verse and they aren't hypocritical (emphasizing the bible for A but turning around and doing B) then we are good. But my man definitely has to be a believer. Man is the head of woman and Christ is the head of man so...yeah

JoycelynC said...

I love the Lord but I am far from a holy roller and could never see myself as a first lady.  Church five days a week just for the sake of going is not my cup of tea.  If I don't have to go, fine  but I suspect they would eventually want  me to make an effort.  I could not date a fanatic nor could I date someone who did not believe what I believed.  I am fine with that person's right to believe it, we just can only be friends. When I was in my young 20s, my dad claimed he was called for us to have family Bible study and wondered why I never came to the house on Bible study night.  I told my mother, the Lord may have called him to do it but he did not call me to listen.

Duchess K said...

I understand Christianity. I studied religion for five years. I was looking for clarification of where you were going.  Thank you.

CaliGirlED said...

LOL!!!

CaliGirlED said...

"I have no time for fanatics or bible verse repeaters. Live the word and
stop worrying about the specs in other people's eyes while a plank is
draining  your head of all its common sense."...Love it!

JojoRaze said...

I'm liking your comment just for the Mahalia Jackson kiss off in the first sentence.  *Hollers*

tiffanyinhouston said...

I could not date/marry any type of fanatic. And he must be a Christian.

That being said I married a man who is the grandson, son and nephew of ordained ministers, so we shall  call him a triple PK. And this triple PK is so burnt out on "attending" church that I think we've been once this year. Yet, he prays with me, for me and over me. He was insistent on Christian marriage counseling. And he demonstrates more Christ like actions, than many who attend church faithfully and by rote.

Jazzy Jazz said...

Nope, I couldnt date a Bible thumper or an atheist /agnostic. They are both too extreme for me. My uncle and his wife are SO saved- thats why I try to spend as little time as possible around them.  I do need for my future to have a relationship with Jesus.  I could marry the right minister- but I would have to mentally prepare myself for what that entails.  And honestly , I like the occasional glass of wine and the occasional margarita. Not willing to give that up yet.  Im not willing to convert to any other religion, and I dont expect my mate to convert to my religion. 

TNDRHRT said...

I could date a minister, but not a religious fanatic.  I'm a church going, believe that Jesus Christ died on the cross for my sins, kind of girl. However, I drink, curse on occasion, and etc. I need for my guy to be the same or maybe a little better so he can help me in my wayward ways.  Smile...  On average I'm in church maybe twice a week.  I pray and read my Bible.   In short, yes, I'm a Christian.  I will NEVER date someone who is not a believer.  I got into an argument on a trip with some friends earlier this year because I said one of my deal breakers in dating someone is that if they don't believe in Christ we can't be together.  One person said I was missing out on good Muslims, Jews, etc.  Nah...I'm good.  I have friends of most faiths, but when it comes to looking for a life partner, you and Jesus need to be pals.  I have a good guy friend and I adore him, but he is an atheist.  He said he couldn't date me because I'm too Christian. LOL!  Oh well!  I said once he becomes a Christian maybe we can chance a love connection.  Relationships are already complicated as it is.  I don't need religion/spirituality to come into the mix and we come to blows over it.

Latesha D Johnson said...

No one got the turn back and be salty part?

Traci Simms said...

The best sermon is often one that you don't even have to preach.  Or as my cousin says,"The only Bible some people will read is your life".

Traci Simms said...

This SHOULD have posted under "tishatweets" post.

TNDRHRT said...

I could date a minister, but not a religious fanatic.  I'm a church going, believe that Jesus Christ died on the cross for my sins, kind of girl. However, I drink, curse on occasion, and etc. I need for my guy to be the same or maybe a little better so he can help me in my wayward ways.  Smile...  On average I'm in church maybe twice a week.  I pray and read my Bible.   In short, yes, I'm a Christian.  I will NEVER date someone who is not a believer.  I got into an argument on a trip with some friends earlier this year because I said one of my deal breakers in dating someone is that if they don't believe in Christ we can't be together.  One person said I was missing out on good Muslims, Jews, etc.  Nah...I'm good.  I have friends of most faiths, but when it comes to looking for a life partner, you and Jesus need to be pals.  I have a good guy friend and I adore him, but he is an atheist.  He said he couldn't date me because I'm too Christian. LOL!  Oh well!  I said once he becomes a Christian maybe we can chance a love connection.  Relationships are already complicated as it is.  I don't need religion/spirituality to come into the mix and we come to blows over it.

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