Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Just Wright - WWYD?


Queen Latifah plays the plus-sized beauty with a heart of gold that is always the gal-pal. Common plays the sweet though slightly clueless baller with abandonment issues, a helicopter mom and an expiring NBA contract. Paula Patton plays the wisp-thin gold-digging, entitled, (unemployed) cute cousin who is out to get hers, no matter what. Heart of gold chick meets baller and before sparks can really turn into something, gold digging cousin makes her move. Calamity befalls baller. He is wounded. Gold-digger bolts for greener pastures. Enter heart of gold chick to save the day. Soup, bidwhist and rainy nights by the piano follow. Baller is saved and thanks heart of gold chick with gifts and cocoa. Now put yourself in this situation:

You just spent an amazing evening with someone you're totally falling in love with. The next morning you wake up in their bed and find breakfast waiting for you. All is right with your world. Before the morning after glow has worn off, the doorbell rings. It's your new boo's ex (NBE) who wants back in. Your new potential s/o is conflicted and asks for time to think.

BougieLand - What would you do? Do you stay and fight for the new relationship? Do you stay and beat down NBE? Do you bounce and let someone have the love of your life? Do you have "friends" that you don't trust around your s/o? And last but least... is love stronger than pride? Do share...

96 comments:

mutemia said...

I haven't posted in while, but to answer the question is an unequivocal halle naw I do not stick it out. I nursed you and stuck by you during the worst and that heffa fled and now you're conflicted. You idiots can have each other. ratchedassedness indeed

Lady Ngo said...

I haven't seen the movie so idk what actually happens but I don't think this is a "fight or flight" kind of situation. Yeah, i'd be pissed that he'd even entertain the notion of getting back with the ex after all was said and done but I know that the heart wants what the heart wants. So if he says he needs time to sort it out, i'll give it to him. But he also has to know that "time to think" has an expiration date on it and does not give him liberty to smash the ex in the meantime while he's making up his mind.

TypeALady said...

Thanks, but no thanks. I dont want to be with anyone who isn't certain that they want to go the distance with me. Life is far too fleeting to waste on sometimey folks.

Lady4Real said...

Saw this movie and in real life that their is a lot of conflict. The NBE is my fam which has me conflicted from the jump but the heart wants what the heart wants so I may have to tell NBE about herself and tell her to kick rocks, let me stop lieing. I would have done everything Queen did because I'm a lover not a fighter and tend to have doormat tendencies when it comes to family and close friends. Common needed time and I would have respected that too. I truly believe in the addage "If you love something let it go, if it comes back to you it's yours, if it doesn't it never truly was yours to begin with."

I once had a friend that I didn't trust around my s/o's, she passed away 8 years ago. I learned a lot from her, now I can smell that type of chick a mile away so I don't even allow a friendship to bud, excuse my SNOB moment but... Bitches like that can't be trusted so I tell them get the hell away far in advance.

Love vs. Pride, the two have been feuding for centuries and no one ever really wins in this war. Love is supposed to conquer all but pride causes destruction and sometimes it will wear love out or bowl right over it. I honestly can't gauge, for me love has won some prideful battles but at some other times pride sneaked attacked love and won.

Jason P said...

I've got a big... ego. If I was in this situation and New Boo didn't immediately pick me, I'd have a problem. As a matter of fact, if I was Common's character I would have put NBE out since that was mad disrespectful to the woman I'd just spent the night with.

Michele said...

My ego would expect New Boo to pick me immediately, but come on ... if we're sticking to the script NBE was someone he had proposed marriage to.  He only spent one night with me.  I can understand that time to think is needed.  A decision would need to be made rather quickly and once it's made ... it's made.  Is love stronger than pride?  It should be.  We all want it to be.  But pride seems to always win that battle.

hairouna said...

/de-lurks for a second.

Perhaps this is a function of my relative youth but I am not good with gray area situations. The minute a man decides that he isn't sure he wants to be with me, then I am no longer good. I'm out. I don't want to be in a relationship with a guy where he has one foot out of the door. And I don't fight over men. So.

Also, that cousin of mine? The one who suddenly decides she wants old dude back now that I have him? She has just shown all of her backside. You may have to love your family but that doesn't mean you have to like them. She would be perpetually on notice as someone I just can't trust.

May I also add that I did not believe Common as a basketball player for a second? No? Sorry.

maureen said...

The fact that he is conflicted is a clear indication of a  RED sign. I  will bounce. I know pride comes before a fall. I will take  a fall in this scenario.
I do not have friends that I do not  trust around my s.o

Brneyed1 said...

Been there, done that...twice.  Walked away. Didn't look back.  I guess my heart (pride?) was hurt that he didn't instantly choose me.  Oh well.  Both are suffering from #TapBackitis now.

BTW, I never saw this movie...was Common's acting as bad as they say it was?

Miz JJ said...

They asked for time to think, so I'd give it to them. I've been the baller before. I have had to take that time to make that type of decision. Life is messy. I want anyone who is with me to be sure. Not just with me because their first choice got away.

I don't stay & fight for the relationship or beat anyone down. I believe what my mom always told me. That you can't lose anything meant for you. If this man and relationship is meant for me I'll get it. Not to say I am completely passive, but I'd voice my feelings and leave it up to him to decide.

I no longer have any friends I don't trust around my man. I kicked those bitches to the curb a few years ago. Life is too short to be friends with people you can't trust. What is friendship with no trust? I am not in my twenties. I don't need sorta-you're-fun-to-kick-it-with friends in my life.
 

SingLikeSassy said...

Every time I watch this movie I try to think how I would handle that situation. Initially I was like, wait, she's just going to leave? But on further viewings I think she did the right thing. If dude can't clearly tell other chick to kick rocks and then close the door in her face, then I need to be out.

And I leave you with Mya: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0sq14JocSAs&ob=av2e

Jasmin said...

Nope. No way. First off, I wouldn't be digging into my cousin's sexual leftovers in the first place. That would bother me more than the "I need time" speech, though I would question the judgment of someone who would get engaged to my cousin, come after Meehan they broke up, then go back with my cousin.

SingLikeSassy said...

".was Common's acting as bad as they say it was?"

Worse. It's like he was just reading the lines off a cue card.

SingLikeSassy said...

Yes, he proposed marriage to her. He wanted to make her his wife. Then he got hurt and she dropped him before he could get home from the hospital good. Via note. *blink* MEANWHILE I've been here nursing and supporting you back to the top of your game. It takes two, three minutes tops to weigh those two things against each other.

Leo the Yardie Chick said...

I know my way to the door, thanks. I've seen women in my family stick it out for decades with low-brow specimens in the name of love. I'll keep my pride, please.

BlackButterfly said...

Since I am the type of person that has to have real feelings for someone before I stir the cocoa I don't see this situation ending with a relationship continuing.  I don't like uncertainty.  After we stir the cocoa and then the mere presence of someone from your past makes you unsure???  Ehhhhh... you lose boo.  That may seem prideful to some but I see it as self respect.

I had an associate that I was not been able to trust with my SO (no beat down, just cut off) but a person that I actually consider a friend has never made me wonder about them being trusted with an SO.

MsJamie14 said...

Paula Patton is my girl crush, so I'd tell him to handle that! LOL.

In any case, I don't "fight" for a man. And he did have unresolved history with his ex, so I can understand why the feelings may still linger, even if she is shady.

In any case, all I can do is move on and live my life. As what happened in the movie, he'll realize NBE's true character eventually. As for coming back for me, it's a risk you take cuz there will be some hoop jumping involved!

CaliGirlED said...

My my my what a tangle web we weave...I'm not competitive, especially when it comes to matters of the heart, so I always bow out at the sign of "someone's sniffin and someone's interested".

I have seen this play out in real life, only with a female Common and a current and past boo. She asked for time from the 2nd boo,  he obliged her. She spent two weeks sorting things out with her 1st boo, saw some familiar patterns, bolted back to the 2nd boo. The problem for me is she always wondered, even after marrying the 2nd boo, what could have happened with the 1st boo. So much so that when problems arose in her marriage, she considered leaving and trying again with 1st boo. Luckily things worked out and she's still married and they're doing well...I never want to be with someone who's wondering "what if" with someone else. But life happens. *shrugs*

I believe that love has more endurance than pride. To paraphrase the proverb, "pride goeth before a fall". While pride will take you down, love can build you up. So in the end love IS stronger than pride, for those with patience.

Earthangel172 said...

I realize that in the real world nothing is black and white but in EarthAngel's world it is. I am not giving this nagga my cookies and then giving you time to think because NBE came back in the picture. In the famous words of my Gigi, "either you is or you ain't!"  As for beating down NBE, it's not that serious because she obviously knows his heart (or at least how to manipulate it). I would have to say that I would jump ship at this juncture because I need a man who is confident about pursuing a relationship with me and not swayed every time the wind blows. At the moment, I don't have any friends that I don't trust around my man. I tend to keep my friendships and my relationship separate. We have couples that we hang out with and then our respective friends that we hang out with individually. Keeps the confusion down. Pride is a mutha so I am going to say that it is not stronger than pride. Just my $.02.

Just_A_Thought1218 said...

Love is supposed to be stronger than pride, but oftentimes, its not.  I know that I have a BIG thing about being The Chosen One, so a dude who did anything to threaten that perception would have a long row to hoe to get me to forgive that transgression. 

I wouldn't beat down NBE, although I'd imagine pushing her face through a plate glass window.  Rule #1 is never let a heaux see you sweat. Rule #2 is possession is 9 tenths of the law.  There is no way I'm leaving dude's house and letting some other chick ride on up in there on some "I want you back" BS.

Anywho, as a former tomboy who is not the bestest at the whole girly girl thing, I have been the homegirl waaaaaay more often than I would have liked.  And yes, dudes always come around with the "you're so cool, you've been there, blah blah blah" sob story when the sparkly girls let them down, only to turn around and either go back to them or go off with a new one.  Sometimes I've let dude know about my feelings, most times I don't.  I need to be someone's first choice. If someone who betrayed you can turn your nose like that, then you're disloyal and I don't need you in my life.  Yeah, real life is messy, and sometimes things are complicated but it's not hard to say I want to be with you more than I want that other person.

I do not have friends that I can't trust around my SO. Trifling chicks, sanctimonious windbags blasting other women unnecessarily, girls/women that put on the "front", and girls who pretend that being sneaky and being discreet are synonymous, girls who "enjoyed" their youth but turn around and get on the high horse once they get in church or get married - all them broads will never be called a friend of mine.  I may know you through work, through church, whatev, but best believe you will never be close to me nor will I invite you into my nearest and dearest.  And I wouldn't trust them with a cardboard box, let alone my mate.

TNDRHRT said...

Oh, this is easy.  If he says that he has to think about whether he wants to be with me or NBE, then he doesn't want to be with me.  I've never been that chick to 'fight' over a guy and make him choose me or her.  Either he wants me or doesn't.  There's no thinking about it.  As far as having my guy around my girlfriends, I have no problem with that because I don't hang around messy women who would try to push up on my dude.  If they did, we're done.  If I were dating a guy who tried to get with one of my friends while we're dating, he has to go.  I don't do drama and mess.

Earthangel172 said...

"Love vs. Pride, the two have been feuding for centuries and no one ever
really wins in this war. Love is supposed to conquer all but pride
causes destruction and sometimes it will wear love out or bowl right
over it. I honestly can't gauge, for me love has won some prideful
battles but at some other times pride sneaked attacked love and won."

Well said!

Earthangel172 said...

"So in the end love IS stronger than pride, for those with patience."

You made a great point but girl where can I buy some patience b/c my patience diminishes each year? LOL

Sol_dier said...

Oh, time to think? I'm out. 

I can't begin a relationship by debating my value with you, either you want to be here or you don't. Your actions say you don't, so Goodbye and Good luck. 

blackprofessor said...

While pride will take you down, love can build you up. So in the end love IS stronger than pride, for those with patience. - Well said Caligirl!

JoycelynC said...

This scenario has happened to me (or something very close) and I eventually bolted.  I tried to be the bigger person at first and give them time to figure it all out but in the end, I just had to save myself.  I am not good at feeling like someone's second choice.  I am either the first choice or not at all. 

GrownAzzMan said...

* Comes in off the beach* 
You want to think about it???? No problem. When you decide, I'll be the one over there doin' better then you. This was the weakest part of a very formula movie plot. In real life, no merci'
*Goes back the bloody mary*

rozb said...

His acting was kinda painful. Sorry Common - if you're reading this, you need different people (acting coaches, and such)...

GrownAzzMan said...

If I ain't the clear choice I am not available to be chosen at all.

rozb said...

If you need a minute to choose between me and somebody who dropped you like a red-hot cast-iron skillet the second you had some adversity, then I can make the decision for you and completely be gone.

It's bad enough to be considered second choice, but second choice to ratchedness? Nope.

blackprofessor said...

I would have played it the same way Latifah did with one change - I would have had a heart to heart with Common before leaving.  I would have told him how I felt, what I wanted and what I sensed between us so that no words would have been left unspoken between us in case that was the last time we talked. Then I would have bounced and moved on with my life just like she did. 

I believe that love is stronger than pride (cues Sade on ipod) but one has to use wisdom.  I think Latifah did the wisest thing which was to let him figure out on his own who he wanted to be with. 

Ivory Tabb said...

The first question Chele should have asked is are you wrong in
the first place for dating your cousins ex fiancĂ©? That’s the part I couldn’t get
over, Yes in the movie Queen saw him first but when she didn’t go after him and
let her cousin start to date, become engaged and plan her life with this man no
matter what feelings you had for him they have to be put aside.


Now you mad when his ex your cousin comes back to claim him
you wrong for sleepin with your cousin ex in the first place, you can’t be mad
when he needs a minute to get his feelings together because you was really just
a rebound chick in the first place.


Yeah you wanna stay and fight but what right do you really have
to do that, he already choose her the first time.


BTW any chick that has heauxxx tendencies you better watch
them like a hawk and be very limited with the info you give them because sooner
or later they will want to try to stir the cocoa as well.

CaliGirlED said...

"...my mom always told me. That you can't lose anything meant for you." *pays tithes and offering*

"I am not in my twenties. I don't need sorta-you're-fun-to-kick-it-with friends in my life." *drops special monetary gift in the box for Pastor & Wife's Church Anniversary*

SingLikeSassy said...

Yeah, that's what I thought when I first said it. No conversation, just roll? But, after reflection I see exactly where she was coming from: Dude, this chick didn't give a thought to dumping you. None. And now she shows up the morning after we just spent the greatest night ever and you need to think for a minute? F you. And f her, too. 

CaliGirlED said...

And for the record, I was bothered by (but overlooked for the message of the movie) the fact that she (Queen) fell for her cousin's ex-man in the first place. That would have been my one "edit" to the director or writer. "Can we make them acquaintances or strangers or something?" Not cousins or childhood friends, god sisters, whatever they were! IJS

Mickmicki said...

OK.  I have watched this movie at least five times (hey…I have HBO on Demand) in hopes of finding some degree of realism.  The entire movie is NOT realistic.  I wouldn't have let it go according to script.
 
First, real talk.  If homeboy invited ME to his party, then *I* would be the only person attending.  Grown women do grown woman events ALONE.  That is one party that she would have heard about the next day.  Trust me.

If she did happen to find out and tag along, then she would have been busted out for lying about volunteering.  All's fair...LOL
 
Second, if my mother gave my cousin the “special” marrying earrings, I would have raised holy hell.  I know that this doesn’t contribute to the subject at hand, but I’m just saying.
 
Third, I would not be a known “rebound” (pun intended) chick.  NO WAY!  In the back of my mind, I would be insulted that he picked my flaky cousin over me.  “Thank you for pimpin’ my Mustang.  Thank you for the gorgeous gown.  Thank you for the private concert with Terence Blanchard.  Do you know if he is single?  Oh he isn’t?  What about Royce Reed’s baby daddy?”

But for real, I can't say that I would have dipped quietly.  She was basking in the post-coital glow!  I know that wouldn't have gone well.  There would have been a few choice words for the two of them which would have ended with me congratulating them at their wedding reception.  LOL
 
Also, I got rid of my ho friends a long time ago.  So, I don’t have any issues with my men and my friends.

CaliGirlED said...

Just commented on this! Had to overlook that in the movie.

Leon X said...

Common's agent is a beast.

CaliGirlED said...

 Thanks!

CaliGirlED said...

 When you find that store, send me the info cause I'm running on "patience fumes"! #NoCountryForAnyBulls**t, however this does make for a lonely island...Le Huge Damn Sigh

CaliGirlED said...

I don't want to be your #1, I want to be your one and only!

CaliGirlED said...

Why you gotta be braggin bout that beach doe???

Enjoy GAM!!!

CaliGirlED said...

Definitely swaying to Sade.

Leopard_Print_Pumps said...

If I stayed to fight (and live another day), it would be because I really had STRONG feelings for this man. I've learned that sometimes you have to put your pride aside if you don't want to look back and have regrets. I wouldn't want to be wondering for the rest of my life what would have happened if I'd have fought for him. If I fight and win, clearly I'm worthy; if I don't, hey, he wasn't the one God had for me, but I sure did my part, and that would be enough.

TypeALady said...

Cali, you are a mess! *drops a twenty in the collection plate*

TypeALady said...

EXACTLY!!!

Brneyed1 said...

Well isn't it the blushing bride!  Loving the new avi!

Brneyed1 said...

*reads about GAM's beach and bloody mary, then looks at my #staycation* 

*pouts*

MidWestDominicana said...

Wait...isn't this how the knitting circle started in the first place?

rozb said...

Thank you so much!

SingLikeSassy said...

The thing is, in this scenario HE needed to step up. Queen was already up front about her feelings. HE needed to show HER she meant as much to him as he meant to her. That's how I see it.

Leopard_Print_Pumps said...

I think that's a fair point. I think I still would have fought, but that's easy for me to say sitting on this couch with this popcorn AND a passion fruit martini ;-) If the situation were real, I may just cut my loses and move on to the next. But right now? This martini says fight.... Hypothetically speaking.

La said...

I've never had to convince anyone they wanted to be with me. And I'm not about to start. If he doesn't KNOW he wants to be with me, then that's my answer.
That being said, I would still be upfront about how I felt, then step away to let him make his own decision. And he better hope like hell I feel the same way if and when he comes back around. Because the odds are against him.

I think a lot of people confuse not being prideful and being willing to fight for your relationship with competing. There’s a difference. Fighting thru difficult times is expected. Competing with another party to stay in your relationship is unacceptable.
I have NO friends I couldn’t trust around a man. I did when I was younger. But I’m not playing those games with grown women anymore.
And lastly, love HAS to be stronger than pride, or it isn’t love. My granny used to tell me, “Where ego exists, there cannot be love also.” I believe that wholeheartedly. That being said tho, you have to know when to walk away. And having to convince a man to not go back to the woman who dogged him out? That’s when you walk.

Ivory Tabb said...

Exactly thats just a mess! You cant sleep with your cousins ex fiance and want to date him cause you wanted him first but didnt have the cojone's to step up to the plate and snag him for yourself!

Earthangel172 said...

Bwahahahahaha!

Marioned said...

I didn't see the movie.   I do like  Queen L, but had  no interest in this movie.   

That being said, art does not always imitate life and when it comes to these type of movies, art over-simplies life and real world decisions.  

If I genuienly cared for a new guy, I would let him know and step back and let him  make his decision.  In this case, she knew what the circumstances were but in reality,  folk may not realize or be aware of the fact that  it happens all the time.  A person is deciding if they want to move forward in a relationship with you or someone else.

Friends and trust are synonymous in my world!

When I think of my son I would say that generally speaking,   LOVE is stronger than pride.

CaliGirlED said...

"Gorgist"!!!! (Channeling my inner-Rudy from the Cosby Show)

Jennifer said...

If he has to take more than a day to remember how NBE dropped him like a used tissue when she felt her chances of being on Basketball Wives were slipping away... then he isn't the man for me.  Yes, they were engaged to be married, but who wants to marry someone who runs when times get tough??  Child, please.


I do believe love is stronger than pride, but you have to be willing to swallow that prideful lump in your throat, articulate what you want, and stand strong in that love when things are good, bad, and ugly.  Not everyone is willing to do that.

CaliGirlED said...

LOL @ you with your martini (passion fruit at that)!!! You know that liquid courage will have you standing up for yours and wondering the next day, "Why did I get married?"!!! LOL

JoycelynC said...

I mean #1 in the sense of your first choice, not the fallback girl.  I don't like the feeling of thinking I am not your first choice, even if I am not. Take that secret with you to the grave.  If I feel like you don't know you want to be with me and only me I can't sit around waiting or fighting for that chance.  It is one of those you gotta know what you know deals with me. 

tishatweets said...

Exactly! You do not, under any circumstances, get with the man who has been that close to your circle.

Well, EYE don't.

tishatweets said...

Okay?! That is my JAM! In one relationship I went from "Love is Stronger Than Pride" to "War of the Hearts."

He was fired shortly thereafter.

CaliGirlED said...

Absolutely Joycelyn! I wasn't disagreeing with you, your statement just reminded me of that. (I told my cousin to put it on a t-shirt for me, but she never did.) LOL

bashowell said...

Oh he would get all the time to think that he needed cuz I'd be out!  I love myself too much to let someone mess w/my head because they needed to "think".  Besides I've been in a situation in the past and no thanks.

BklynBajan said...

Women have to learn that you can't fight for what was never yours in the first place (his heart). You can't "earn" your way into a man's heart. He is either open to receive your love or he isn't. So stop with the Martha Stewart cooking and the Karrine Stephans bedroom games with unavailable men. Recognize red flags and ask the correct questions BEFORE you allow yourself to become vulnerable. No man especially a hungry one will turn down a meal. But you have no one to blame but yourself if you don't realize that meat eaters will eat vegetables if they are hungry enough but in flush times will retreat back to their FIRST choice of beef. We put too much emphasis on who stays with you in bad times. It means nothing if he wouldn't have chosen you when things were good.

In my young days I fought and lost. In hindsight he was never mine in the first place so the fighting was for foolish pride. I (was) the better woman but he still chose her. Whooping her behind did nothing but break my nails. Years later he apologized but at that point I could care less. I had already learned what real love should feel like and the entire scenario was far from it. Lesson learned.

Women you can't trust around your man are not friends. My girls know NO amount of liquor will result in reindeer games. If we're the last two beings on earth then game over. The circle is small and tight.

tishatweets said...

It was horrible. And I love Common. But....it was.

TNDRHRT said...

Can I ride in the passenger seat on this since you are driving a major point?  Thank you.

Jubi The Great said...

I watch Just Wright solely for the eye candy cause Common was yummy delicious in that movie, tho completely unbelievable as an elite NBA point guard.

As others have said, I want to be the first & only choice. I'm not gonna compete on "Who Wants To Win Your Heart?" - either I'm the one you want or I'm not. If you need time to figure it out, that's cool - but you better hope I'm still available when you figure it out. I'm a hot commodity.

C Nelson said...

It depends. Her walking in is on her, not him, unless he invited her. But does "time to think" mean "I'm going to get some of that good make-up cocoa she stirs"? Because if he actually touches her again, I'm gone. If he really just needs a week to cut ties and clear his head, okay, I can handle that.

blackprofessor said...

GAM, you can't brag about drinks if you aren't bringing any to the party to share.

*pouts with bneyed1*

blackprofessor said...

War of Hearts is the jam too!

blackprofessor said...

folk may not realize or be aware of the fact that  it happens all the
time.  A person is deciding if they want to move forward in a
relationship with you or someone else. - Amen!

Alvin Milton said...

First: if you get out of your lane and go for your fam's sloppy seconds then you deserve to get dealt with.
Second: Second choice, never.

SingLikeSassy said...

And how do family dinners/functions flow when you attend with your new husband who is your cousin's ex-fiance? My people would *never* stop talking about that ish.

CaliGirlED said...

"I can hear my Grandma now calling all of us nasty."...Sassy might aunts' faces would be so turned up you would think someone was stinky! LOL

Javalicious said...

I'm always the gal-pal. I used to (notice the past tense) have a friend who would sweep in all cute and make a move on any guy I showed interest in. It made me crazy but it also weeded out the trifling men from the true.

Singlelif said...

I would play my position - which is a woman who just got served.  I am mature enough to recognize that a kiss is not a promise..and sex games do not a relationship make.  In the event he gets caught in the midst of a conflict of whether or not he should choose me over his ex, I would already have my answer, and he would have the rest of his life.  As a bougie chick, I will fight with him, and I will fight for him, I will not, however, fight OVER him. That is not the hotness ! 

Lastly, if I cant trust my girls around my man, they are not to be considered "my girls".  Still, when it all comes down to it, I am the one he's intimately involved with and made promises to, so if he violates that, he should expect his things to be in a box by the door.  #ToTheLeft

Mykeia said...

I am late today...

Awkward situation, I would have to say...I'm out because I would not want to be anyone's second thought.  Pride.
Me and my cousin/friend/buddy would have to have a serious talk, SERIOUS before this could even happen.  I will now read the comments.

Sol_dier said...

In a previous life I would have had a conversation. Now I just dont have the energy. Its like, it was 'sure' for me, obviously unsure for you.. I'm gone. I accept your decision. Goodluck.

Life is too short to be explaining simple ish to grown folk. they'll get it when they get it. Hope they enjoy their journey to it.

GuessImJay said...

*Raises ex-large, ex-spicy Bloody Mary in salute*

Sol_dier said...

I would play my position - which is a woman who just got served
YEP. Its like thanks for the fabulous night & well played Sir. Cherish the win. There won't be a second game.

Bailey said...

*Hums to self* I won't pretend, that I intend to stop livin'...
I'm working on that pride thing. Right now it's a struggle. Dude is fresh off a night of my good cocoa and takes more than two minutes to chat up the ex? No. Sir.

Cha Keziah said...

I can barely handle competing with myself for a man (read: him taking what I read as an impermissible amount of time to decide to pursue me). Wait around for him to SHOW that I'm not first and foremost in his romantic life? He actually has to stop and think because someone else is close to comparing?

I'm good. I'd rather be alone than always wondering if he's regretting his decision to choose me, pick me, love me.

Ivory Tabb said...

Ladies my Momma family is so big all eight of her sisters would be like oh so you all the way in Dallas Texas, and you couldn't find a man down there. Had to come back home to Jersey and steal your cousins fiance. You know how messy we can be everyone would forget several important facts-  I saw him first, she walked out on him when times were rough and that is his EX fiance? But none of that would matter SMDH
Why would anyone want to do this to themselves in real life?

AndreaPlaid said...

"Life is too short to be explaining simple ish to grown folk. they'll get it when they get it. Hope they enjoy their journey to it.

::drops $50 in offering plate::

Veronica Miller said...

This is easy. Go on and work it out boo. I may or may not be here when you get back.

I'm not in the business of convincing someone to stay with me. Even if I know what I want, if it's not so clear for you and questions are still lingering, I'd rather we both go on about our business. I will not be left blowing in the wind, waiting for "The Decision."

Ain't got time for all that. Shoooooot.*goes back to read the rest of the comments*

blackprofessor said...

I hear you, I really do! In previous lives, I didn't have the convo and just bounced. I have learned not to leave things unsaid so I will have the convo because it might be the last convo ever.

Veronica Miller said...

You know I learned the choreography to this, right?

*presses play, cuts jig in living room*

Sol_dier said...

diff strokes, different folks.. I respect that :-)

thinklikeRiley said...

I actually had to earn my piece of the pie today so Riley iz late.
But hells naw. First of all, I can't base nuthin' off this ole movie cuz Common walked through dat ish bouncing a ball and dat about it. Plus he and Tifah acted like sister and bruh forced to kiss.
Riley did not buy it.
For da real? Riley don't wait to be chosen. I'm it or I'm out.

rozb said...

I am with you on this Riley. They were not a convincing love connection. Nada on the chemistry.

GammasWorld said...

I've never seen the movie but if you that conflicted, we ain't meant to be anyway.  

mojitochica said...

Um, I ain't nursing anyone I'm not related to; you better find someone else for all that...  It's very hard to see myself in this situation.  Anywho, to answer the questions, I'm out because clearly I am not the love of his life, and quite frankly I love myself more than anyone else.  I'm not wasting any time beating down NBE because she isn't the problem; the dude is the problem. I'm not friends with chicks I can't trust around my husband.  Love is not stronger than pride for me.

mojitochica said...

"So in the end love IS stronger than pride, for those with patience."

Hah, I said pride is stronger than love for me, so my lack of patience explains it ;ob

Just Ang said...

"...my mom always told me. That you can't lose anything meant for you."

-PREACH!

I only have one issue with what you said. Age is no excuse! Im currently 28 and since boys became more than cootie machines, I acted with some sense.

If thats not your man, keep your hands to yourself!

Jasmin said...

Forgive my iPad typos! I can't check BnB again until after I get home from work, and I left late today (and on Pacific Time!).

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