Tuesday, October 04, 2011

Ask a Bougie Chick - How soon is too soon?


Welcome back to BougieLand and another exciting episode of Ask a Bougie Chick. Today we have JG, who wants to jump in with both feet but is wondering if it would be more prudent to tiptoe into the shallow end. Let's get it started...
Hi Chele!
Is that too casual? I always wonder at the protocol. Hello Ms. Grant seemed too formal. Sorry, thinking out loud. Here's my question with a little background- 
I'm a 29 year old single black female. Thanks to my career, I'm well-traveled and been exposed to all kinds of people and cultures and things. I put that in because sometimes people under 30 are still thinking and acting like people under 20. I don't fall in that category. I've been around the block a bit. There may be a block named after me somewhere. 
I live in Los Angeles but commute fairly often to New York, Atlanta and Dallas. While in Dallas a little over a month ago, I met a man. A wonderful, sexy, intelligent man. He's 35. We clicked instantly. It was one of those things like in the movies. His eyes met mine and violins started playing Beethoven. Actually it was a Mint Condition concert and they started to play U Send Me Swingin' but same concept, right?  
We spent that entire weekend together and since then, he's come to Los Angeles twice, I've been to Dallas again. We talk everyday. This past weekend, he casually asked if I had ever considered living someplace other than Los Angeles or New York.  That got me to thinking. I'm at the point in my career where I need to think about what comes next. I have some friends here but most of my family is in Louisiana. I casually asked him what he would think about me moving to Dallas in the next few months. He asked me how much closet space I would need. 
How soon is too soon, Chele? It feels 100% right like this is it, he's The One and I'm ready. I've checked him out, I know his background and even though he's got a playboy past, I think he's ready too. Then again, a small part of me is thinking that I'm crazy for even considering shaking up my entire life for someone I've only known for six weeks. Am I crazy or do I trust my gut?
-JG in LA
JG - Hey girl! What's the rush? You travel, he travels - why not put in a little bit more time before packing and shacking? If it still feels right in 30, 60, 90, 180 days  - go for it. That small part of you wondering if you're crazy deserves a listen. Besides, won't it feel better to move forward with little or no doubt rather than that niggling doubt that has you second guessing yourself? 

On the other hand, you may be the kind of person that goes with their gut and just leaps. If that works for you and you feel that strongly about it - dive on in. But be careful, I don't want to see you on an episode of Who the Bleep Did I Marry or Snapped.

Yes, I know these last two paragraphs are conflicting. You know why? Because it's really up to you. Some people (such as myself) will not make a major life decision without dissecting it, flipping it over and over until I don't even remember what the initial problem was. By that's me. I'll turn it over to BougieLand.

Good people! Are you a toe in the water or a dive in the deep in kind of person when it comes to making life-changing decisions? How soon is too soon to uproot your life for someone else? Do you go with your gut or your head or your heart? If you were JG, what would you do? Do share...

68 comments:

CaliGirlED said...

*looks around, sees I'm the first one to step to the mic* Ummm, I think I need to re-think my response. Be right back!

SingLikeSassy said...

OK, I'll go first. I don't believe in living together before marriage. I'm not somebody who will mingle my resources and furniture and all that with someone I am not legally bound to and I would not be comfortable moving into HIS spot cause that would be too much an imbalance of power for me.

But that would be my only hold up. If if didn't matter where I lived career-wise, then I would move to Dallas in my own spot and let the relationship play out.

I guess what I'm saying is "trust, but verify."

Jason P said...

When it's right, it's right but won't it still be right in a month or two? #SlowDown

lessie brown said...

I met a guy like that about six months ago. We hit it off immediately, had an insane amount of things in common. The connection was instant. And then, about two months ago, he started displaying really creepy tendencies and playing mind games. It was kind of a shock since he'd seemed so put together at first. But as it is, I didn't have time to deal. I'm a busy, grown-up woman as well. Of course this is your decision, but I'd say give it awhile. I'm not saying Texas dude is going to end up the same way, I'm just saying six weeks isn't very long. People don't always show their true colors right off the bat, and sometimes, they're not even hiding them intentionally (I don't think my dude was intentionally deceiving me at first. I think that as he got more comfortable, he also just got a bit more needy and demanding >:{ Anyway). You've got all the time in the world. If you guys really do like each other, then neither of you is going anywhere any time soon. Or if you do decide to move to Dallas, maybe don't move in with him right off the bat. That way, you're setting up a life for yourself regardless of what happens with him and if things don't work out, you're not stuck in a new city with only one, now useless, connection.

CaliGirlED said...

Ok, six weeks (IMHO) in really quick to make a life changing decision based on someone else. However, I am more of a dip-the-toe, dissect, analyze, re-analyze, over-analyze, this ain't gon work kinda girl. But once my heart is in it, I'm a girl of 1,000 + 1 chances. (Working on ALL of that!)

That being said, let me just point this out, "I've checked him out, I know his background and even though he's got a playboy past...". Your words. And let me further point out that you sought advice from someone who knows, refer to, chew on and mull over her first response.

BklynBajan said...

Six weeks may not be too soon to think about it but it is too soon to move immeadiately. If he's feeling the way that you are then he is just now making those calls to his circle to let them know he's not available anymore - at the very least you need to give it time for those broads to beat it back.

My advice have another very open conversation. You're both feeling each other but its all peaches and cream right now. You haven't put in anough time to get to the "his stinky socks on my couch again" phase. You can make a committment to each other without sharing a zip code. Take this time to really get to know each other AND investigate career opportunities that may be available. Find out if the right job came in ATL is HE willing to move? Get to know his friends & family. Perform due dilligence and see where the cards fall. You may very well spend next summer in a new city - just be smart about it. Good Luck!

CaliGirlED said...

"Or if you do decide to move to Dallas, maybe don't move in with him
right off the bat. That way, you're setting up a life for yourself
regardless of what happens with him and if things don't work out, you're
not stuck in a new city with only one, now useless, connection."...This right here!!!

Lady Ngo said...

I think 6 weeks too soon to even be contemplating it. Of course everything seems perfect, you're still in that honeymoon phase. If you guys travel anyway i say take more time to get to know one another. Make some more trips so you can spend that face to face time before you make any hasty decisions. If you still feel like its a good idea, then do you. But 6 weeks is definitely too soon to me, especially when its a long-distance thing. 

sunt97 said...

If your gut is telling you something, it will be telling you the same thing 6 months from now.  I test the water because I am so paranoid that it might not work out.  If i was her I'd wait and see what is what/  I mean are they even exclusive?  Last thing you want to do is move and it not work out.  Had it happen to a friend, she slept on a couch for 4 months until she was able to move back home.

Peace, Love and Chocolate,
Tiffany

SouthernWes said...

Even a job gives you a 90 day probationary period. I understand you two are some Love-Jonesy "urgent like a mf" high but take a step back from the pheromones and wait. 

Bonita Applebum said...

As was already mentioned, living together before marriage is an immediate "hell naw" for me.  And this is something that I've had to learn the hard way.  But the reality is, is folks tend to act like a married couple and then when stuff goes wrong, get mad because they don't have the same rights as a married couple.  I wouldn't suggest it.

Secondly, are you thinking about this move and next step in your life just because he's a part of it or is it where you think you are?  As much as you two may be caught up in each other, don't lose yourself.  Either one of you.  You only "need" to move your life to the next step if that's something you feel you're ready for.  And whoever is supposed to be a part of it, will be there with you along the journey.

And I co-sign with Chele.  Whatever you decide to do, go for it full force.  But if things go wrong, don't get into the "I never should have met you" phase.  Cuz in order for bullcrap to fall into your life, you have to invite in in the first place.

Mykeia said...

First and foremost good luck and best wishes.
I am a VERY, VERY, VERY skeptical person.  I will think about something to the point of losing sleep and for me this situation would make me lose sleep.  
I would say don't move yet and take things slow...
Bottom line, if someone is offering you closet space this could be serious.  Go with your gut and what has kept you safe all these years, which has probably waiting things out.
Also ask yourself my hubby's favorite questions about tough decisions:  What's the worst that could happen?  What's the best that could happen?  What will happen?  
Just my opinion, be well, safe and blessed.

Grace said...

Um, er - I can't recover from a bad haircut in six weeks... IJS.

AnnettePearl said...

I can't talk. I was all "no shacking, know me for 18 months and put a ring on it" until I met this guy. I basically moved in two weeks after meeting him and haven't left yet.

Brandon St. Randy said...

I think I read somewhere that it takes like 3 years for people to absolutely show you who they are. So you're basically throwing the dice if it's six weeks or sixteen months anyway. If you like it, I love it. I'd say go'on get your own place and see how it goes. There's a saying with women I know that men are like cabs. When that light is off, it's off, and he's not picking up passengers, no matter how perfect the destination might be. But when the light's on, he's ready to roll and ride into the sunset. Sounds like buddy's may be on.

CaliGirlED said...

And it's these stories that we hear that make us think, "Yes I can!", instead of seeing the overall uniqueness of  the plot and the characters involved. Some people meet and fall right into place without ever looking back, and some people just meet and fall all over the place. LOL

Kudos to the two of you and many happy years to come!!!

Jubi The Great said...

I'm a go with my gut type woman. Advice is fine & all, but its your life. No amount of advice in the world will prepare you for your situation. Sometimes you do have to leap in & hope for the best, with a contingency plan if things don't work out. If you feel any hesitation at all, then use that as a sign & hold off until you're sure.

PatriciaW said...

The small part of you that is doubting, is it you or is it the voices of friends, family and society telling you that you must be crazy?  Because you also said, "It feels 100% right like this is it, he's The One and I'm ready."  And you believe he's ready too.  Has he given you any reason to doubt?  If not, you have to decide what you want, what will make you happy.  Folks are going to say and think what they're going to say and think.  Their reaction will be based, in part, by the level of confidence you show in your decision.

Take it from someone who said, "I will" after only 16 days (we knew of each other but had never dated or even talked) and "I do" just 8 months later.  We're still together and just celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary.

MsJamie14 said...

Love is great...deep like is great...lust is great. I'm sure you fall into one of those categories. LOL

But what is the rush? I realize that life is short, but to paraphrase Chris Rock... "life is LONG when you end up with the wrong person."

Give it some time. If he is indeed the right person, he'll still be there in a year.

Alvin Milton said...

Sounds like a major decision. Any major decision like moving requires some serious consideration so I advise waiting.
Those initial feelings may or may not be there 2 weeks from now. IF they are there like 6 months from now it could be worth something, but for now its whats supposed to happen. Just be glad you are feeling it, let it breathe and don't force it.

Stop to consider that things could be fundamentally different if/when you move. Distance can make romantic feelings kind of irrational.

TNDRHRT said...

I say take it nice and slow.  Six weeks is still honeymoon phase of a relationship to me.  Also, this is a long distance relationship.  A risk.  Keep clocking airline miles for a while to visit each other.  I would not suggest you moving from Cali to Texas for a man you've only known for a short period of time.  If you did move, get your own place.  Do not move in with him.

thinklikeRiley said...

If you feelin' it like dat, you feelin' it. But have you a backup plan. And an exit strategy.

On tha reals, folks iz crazy.

Unless... hey - was dis a Bougie Hook-up? If so, it's all good. Chele got po-po followin' her around and ish.

motown_skater said...

i used to dive right on in but after a few shallow pools a sista learned to tip toe.  i've also learned to go with my gut.  my head will have me in a looney bin with the back & forward / pros & cons of a situation.  if i were you i'd wait, but that's me the one who used to go head first into shallow pools....

take in all that is being said or take what is being said with a grain of salt just don't let it add more "confusion" to the question of how soon is to soon for you.  remember when we ask for advise people answer based on their life experience.  so although we can offer our thoughts it still will come down to what you feel is right and best for you....my 2 pennies.... 

life and the many choices we must make without our crystal balls....  good luck with whatever you decide!!!

blackprofessor said...

I'm a go with my gut kind of girl and I believe that you know what you know when you know it. 

If I were in this situation, what would I do? I would verify that my gut was saying that he was the one rather than my emotions or hormones. Once I verified that it was my gut, I would introduce him to an important person (father, mother, brothers, best friend, etc.) whose opinion I trusted.  If that person confirmed my feelings, then I would feel more comfortable making a move.  However, that move would have an exit strategy just in case you are wrong.

CaliGirlED said...

And what did Madame Bouge say, "What's the rush? You travel, he travels - why not put in a little bit more time before packing and shacking?"...IJS

Sol_dier said...

There is value in both and like Chele said it is really up to you.

Personally, I used to be a 'just dive right in, let not waste time and play games'.  I decided to change from that at the beginning of 2011, simply because its what I've always done.

A little patience and perseverance goes a long way. Sometimes we (men + women) all want the fairytale when reality is what we really need.

Goodluck :)

Sol_dier said...

never thought about it that way, i like this.

Only1DivaC said...

I always say that folks bring their "representative" to the table the first 90 days into a relationship. I mean to each its own on going with the gut vs. thinking and rethinking stuff (which I fall into that category). My philosophy is that you need to do your due diligence and find out what's what before you move across country. Like Chele said, something is giving you pause from pulling the trigger so listen to it.

A suggestion is maybe take a little 2 week vacation and fly down to Dallas and truly be all up in his life for those 2 weeks. This could be telltale sign if both of you guys are ready to take it to the next level of being in the same city. Sending blessings your way. I hope it works out for you two!

SA said...

I analyze, re-analyze, dissect, ask for opinions, pray on it, analyze some more before I make a move. That move often is what my gut said in the first place. That said, I have to know that I made the wisest, most clear headed decision for me and that I can always back it up.

So I guess it depends on who you are and what works for you. When you're 110% certain that you've made the best decision you can, with the information you have, and you can justify that decision to yourself down the line, then go with that one.

But remember- 6 weeks is a short time. Move to Dallas if that makes sense to your situation, but perhaps don't move in with him.

Good luck with whatever decision you make!!!

BlackButterfly said...

Wooh... uh-uh, I can't.  Moving for-> Cohabitation with-> and  trusting a ->stranger (he may be cute and all but is still a stranger) is too risky for me.  No amount of kismet feeling would make me choose to completely forgo logic and reason after only 6 weeks.  Do you like Dallas or do you like the man in Dallas?  Moving your life is not a small thing and to me huge decisions need more time and consideration. 

Just_A_Thought1218 said...

1. Realistically speaking, what impact would a move to Dallas have on your career?  Is LA a better location for you career-wise? Can you build your professional network to the same strength in a different location? Would a change in city negatively affect or delay your promotion opportunities?
2. Besides closet space, what else has dude said about you moving to Dallas? Seriously?
3. Are you okay with the scenario of going to Dallas, letting things play out, and you guys end up going your separate ways after a period of time?

I think if you can honestly answer these questions, then you will make the best decision for you.  Based on my personality and my experience, I wouldn't go just cuz a dude mentioned closet space. But, it's not my decision. Take some time and think it over, and then do what's best for you.

Side Note: I find it funny that 25 comments in, the married man said wait, and the single dudes said go. 

Earthangel172 said...

^^^this is everything I wanted to say. Best of luck JG.

blackprofessor said...

Thanks for sharing! Your story is proof that sometimes knowing and acting right away is not a bad thing.

OneChele said...

Hey... wait a minute.

OneChele said...

That's awesomeness!

OneChele said...

Oh - and Happy Anniversary!

MelaninEnriched said...

Well, I'll give my experience. I actually met this guy on eHarmony who lives in Cali; I live in ATL.  We met in Vegas, had instant chemistry and since I actually have a transportable job, set out to move to Cali (temporarily). Long story short, I temporarily moved to Cali, it didn't work out with him, but I loved Cali and decided to stay. I just got a permanent job in Cali and although we're not together, I'm glad I moved. We didn't even live in the same region in Cali, BUT 6 hours away was better than 3-4 days away (by car). My advice is take it slow, REALLY get to know the person and make sure the place is a place you could see yourself living if it doesn't work out. If it had been Idaho or Montana or something, I would've NEVER moved because I couldn't see myself living there otherwise. Also, make sure your career won't be affected. My career is actually better in Cali, so like I said, it worked for me, but you gotta be sure that if it doesn't work out with him, everything else is straight. You don't want to have sacrificed everything and still have nothing at the end of the day. Of course, I'm a "dive-in-the-shallow-end" type of girl sometimes, but I mostly take calculated risks. Good luck!

MelaninEnriched said...

Oh yeah...I wouldn't recommend moving in with him if you decide to relocate. You NEED to be able to have a place to go if it doesn't work out, especially since you don't know the area and don't have many friends there.

ASmith said...

All I know is at the end of the day, it's you who has to live with what happens if you move and that's good or bad.

I'd be real real sure that either a)I can handle whatever happens (so like if it goes bad I got a plan for that and/or am ok being in Dallas or if it goes great, I can handle that whole whirlwind thing) or b)Things are actually most likely going to happen just the way I want (need) them to.

I don't think anyone can really give you better advice than to help you think it through as completely as one without an ability to know the future can.

CorettaJG said...

WAIT.  Girl WAIT.  Go through some "seasons" with one another, literally and figuratively.  It is important to see how people react in both good times and bad.  You're not going to know that while you're in the infatuation stage of these first 6 weeks. 

Take it from someone who met the man in December, married him in May, was divorced 4 years later. 
 
It can work, it definitely has for some people, but I don't believe that's the norm.  Give it a cycle of seasons at least.  He isn't going anywhere.  And if he is, that's what you needed to know before making major life decisions/moves without a ring and a date.

Pure Choco said...

Six weeks seems quick to me.

Trey Charles said...

I'm a dive in the deep end guy but what's with all the cohab? We can call it a relationship and not share closets just yet. That seems like putting unnecessary pressure on a new relationship.

Evansaw said...

If you do it, make sure you have a good back up plan.  If you have a house, or condo, rent it out for a year, to see if this works out.  Question: Have you asked the brother how he would feel about  moving where you are? Don't roll the dice on the whole thing  just yet.  Wait til New Year to make your decision.  That should be about six months, and you will know by then if you should  make that move (whether you actually do or not).

CaliGirlED said...

Sometimes even when you know that you know that you know, it may still be best to wait.

Two friends of mine have been married for 18 years and have 5 kids. They met when they were 12. He said, "I'm going to marry you!", she said, "Boy please!". Nine years later, they did and the only thing they regret is that they didn't wait so that she could have worked out some family issues. Because they didn't wait, the early years in marriage were rough. To this day he says he would have married her NO MATTER WHAT, but they should have waited. (He's a real trooper!)

JG, do what you feel will work for you, but know that there could be difficulties ahead. What matters is that you know if you're going to war with a stand up and fight, or a run and take cover kind of guy by your side.

Mr. Skyywalker said...

I'm all in-see it-want it can I have it-right now when it comes to stuff like this. If it was up to me, I would have married Mrs Skyy after Date 3.

TNDRHRT said...

Exactly.  Also, why is it always (or mostly) the woman uprooting to move to where the guy is??  I know of two couples (well one isn't a couple anymore because they divorced) where the man left and moved to where the woman lived.  One guy did the move before the marriage (not sure if they were engaged yet) and the other did the move after the wedding.  Things went wayyyyyy south after that for the guy who moved after the wedding.  Their relationship was long distance for the two years they dated and were engaged.  I'm with Coretta and others.  Autumn has just begun.  Make it to 2012 and revisit the relocation talk.  Also, like someone mentioned above, can he move to Cali?  Why you gotta move? :)

Deb B said...

Marry (shack) in haste, repent at leisure. I know I did.

lessie brown said...

Heh. Yeah, I commute between Idaho and Montana. Don't move out here for anyone. If it doesn't work out, you'll never escape ;-P

Jeannette said...

If i had $5 for everytime I had a deep connection with a dude I met and it's still all "canaries & cupids" 6 weeks in... i could buy a fly pair of Louboutins.   Wait chile.  Matter of fact give it a FULL 18 months.

Single_lif said...

Good afternoon, Chele and BougiePeeps !  I'm just gonna jump in here and leave my .2 without reading the comments, mkay ?  I'll be brief.
 
Honeygirl, at the risk of sounding a bit crass, I think you just might be "dyckmatized".  Ole boy got that old black magic and whipped a sister into seriously pondering relocating.  Please believe, that's not entirely a bad thing.
 
For real, though - I wouldnt pick up and change my address to another state for the convenience of a man, unless that state is one that I was considering relocating to anyway, and if by chance I did, I wouldnt move in with him once I got there....especially since I've only KNOWN him (figuratively and literally), for a short time.  Further, I still wouldnt move unless I was able to sustain myself and my standard of living without his financial contribution. 
 
Still, I understand that you are grown, hormones are raging and clocks are ticking.  Be smart, give it time.  If he can make you do all these things now, he should still be able to maintain your interest in a few more months.  Meanwhile, does he have a brother ?  I'm just saying....

Andrea M said...

I am WAY too invested in this blog. I just too much time going through Chele's tweets and blogs to figure out who this was. You know that BnB twitter list is a gold mine! Anyway, I wish the both of them best of luck and hope it works out.

PatriciaW said...

Sometimes.  I have to say although I didn't know him, I knew about him.  Knew the family on a casual basis, his parents and what kind of values they had.  We differ in many ways, and I won't say the early years were oh-so-smooth, given the lack of dating time to learn each other, but we share the same values and 8 out of 10 priorities.  That counts for a lot.  Besides, he's darn sexy!

CaliGirlED said...

"His line of questioning regarding where you want to live sounds like
game to me.  Moving in with someone or moving period requires serious
discussion.  "Have you considered living somewhere besides NY or LA?
That's a generic question anyone could ask you. That doesn't say "I want
you to move in with me" How much closet space do you need? worst case
scenario that sounds like game to me."...HA!!!

Jeannette said...

Thanks for exposing that "Have you considered living somewhere besides NY or LA"? Games.Games.Games.

Sol_dier said...

making notes for CaliGirlED.... patron is his weakness, blackmail material can be obtained from GAM under the influence of the silver meister

Carmen said...

I'll pass on some advice I was given:

"Everybody’s great for the first 2-3 months. always their best selves. Everything is honky dory. You can’t tell who people are then. Character is determined when the chips are down. Please take the time to see what he is like in different stages. When the job/fam is stressing you, when money is tight, when the summer hits (he running the streets or  running with you?); at parties (is he with me? or is he working the room?); when you have events (is he there?); when you can’t chill because you need to work (is he still there?). How does he move in this area of your life? Okay, what about when you do something else? How does he handle himself? That’s how you get to know someone, seeing their highs and their lows. When you're at your worst, where is he? Hitting you later or leaving where he is to get to you?"

If you have given yourself the time, and exposed you and him (as a partnership) to enough different scenarios ... go with it ma!

La said...

1st to answer Chele’s questions… If I’m in, I’m ALL IN. Everything I’ve got is on the table, or I’m folding. I go hard or go home. I do not thrive in gray areas. That being said, it takes me A LONG TIME to get to that point. I had to get to a place where who I was worked for me. Which for me meant continuing to be the type of person to jump in headfirst, but making wiser decisions about when and where I jumped.

And that would be my advice to JG. Take your time. Be sure of where you’re jumping. If you feel this is something special then YOU KNOW. But 6 weeks is still very soon. If dude is That Dude, he will be after 6 weeks, 6 months, or 6 years. There is no reason you can’t give it another 6 months and REALLY get to know the heart and soul of this man, and give him the chance to do the same to you. The fact of the matter is, whether you’re sure or not, 6 weeks is still the honeymoon stage. And speaking as someone who has had multiple LDRs, it has a way of making every reunion seem like perfection, because you are always missing each other and always "on". Being around for the everyday drudgery, especially under the same roof, is not NEARLY as romantic as meeting halfway in a great city, or playing tour guide to an out of town boo you see once a month. KNOW THAT.

Ytm24 said...

Hmm. Dallas is closer to your family.  If it would be a positive career move, then move to Dallas

BUT YOU GET YOUR OWN PLACE. YOU DON'T NEED HIS CLOSET SPACE! That is just too soon to move in with anyone...and for what?  You need to see if you even like seeing him every day or every other day instead of every other weekend or whatever. 

And you two have had an exclusivity talk..he's expressed that he only wants to date you????...If not, I wouldn't move or I wouldn't make him a factor in my decision to move. 

I mean if you just want to move to Dallas, then move.  If the chemistry is that great, it will only get better with time.  I don't believe you need to know a person through the seasons but you do need to see them at them in different scenarios before you decide to move in. 

His line of questioning regarding where you want to live sounds like game to me.  Moving in with someone or moving period requires serious discussion.  "Have you considered living somewhere besides NY or LA? That's a generic question anyone could ask you. That doesn't say "I want you to move in with me" How much closet space do you need? worst case scenario that sounds like game to me. 

Move to Dallas. get your own place. Date him. Get to know him.  I won't even get into why You have to move...he wanna be with you why can't he move to where you are (If he can find a job of course). 

CaliGirlED said...

Too cute! LOL

Veronica Miller said...

Re LDRs: What La said.

*goes back to homework*

Veronica Miller said...

Second part of that: "I *think* he's ready too." Me, myself, personally... I go when I know. *bougieshrug*

Veronica Miller said...

Maybe it's because I'm in school now, but...

Six weeks? That's barely a quarter of a semester.

Do a few more research papers and take a few more tests before you start predicting what the final grade's gonna be.

*goes back to homework*

GrownAzzMan said...

Ok, I am late to the party and have not read any of the comments yet. First let me say I have been the 'him' in this story. Moved her across country after a great initial weekend and a few visits back and forth over the next three months or so. It lasted a year.  But it was a (mostly) good year. That being said, I am still the impulsive type. If I ever have one too many shots of Patron I may write a post about it some day. I say make sure you know who you are getting and then if all signals are go, make the move. Life it too short to spend it wondering what if.

My dos centavos...

CaliGirlED said...

 I don't know what's worse, that you went digging or that I remember it like I was there! LMAO

CorettaJG said...

That important person introduction is a good one.

All Honey said...

This.

Singlelif said...

Ding, ding, ding, JACKPOT. This ^^^ !!  But I'm a toe in the water chick.  Everybody is suspect until proven otherwise - but that's the Fed in me speaking..

One Chele said...

Ding, ding, ding, JACKPOT. This ^^^ !!  But I'm a toe in the water chick.  Everybody is suspect until proven otherwise - but that's the Fed in me speaking..

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