Thursday, September 01, 2011

Someone get these kids...

I was standing in line at the Braum's trying to get my yogurt mix on when a swarm of teenagers came in. If central casting is look for a crew for a smashed-up remake of Mean Girls and Clueless, I know exactly where to find them. 

I drifted to the side to wait for my order to be called when two other girls, clearly not part of the "in crowd" came in. As they were deciding what to order, it was obvious that they were hungry but struggling to calculate how much they could afford to buy. One of the mean crew saw and said in a loud voice, "It must suck to be poor."

Her clone-like friend piped in, "Yes, have you noticed how hood it's gotten in here all of sudden?"

To which I felt compelled to reply, "Sweetie, if you ever came across hood, you would keep your mouth shut and run the other way." Then I handed the struggling chicks a ten and told them to get whatever they wanted. When they smiled at me, I had to tell the truth, "Chances are you two will be their bosses someday. All you have to do is get out of high school."

Everybody over 25 was laughing and nodding, the young uns looked confused as hell. Oh well, they'll live and learn. Back in my high school days, I wasn't mean. I was sheltered and completely ignorant. When I switched to public school in tenth grade (after all those years in an all girls private school), I thought I'd landed on an alien planet. The biggest scandal I ever caused was when me and my two friend developed a scale ranking the athletes in order of cuteness. Of course it fell into the wrong hands and years later, I'm on Facebook still apologizing for ranking Leroy 8.5 and Roderick 6.8. I thought Leroy was more kissable. Not that my father let anybody's lips near mine. Anyway...

Am I mistaken or are these kids a whole lot meaner than we used to be back in the day? Which clique were you in back in high school? Fess up...

132 comments:

michaeldavis said...

LOVE.THIS.

NoNotPinkett said...

Your standing up for those kids was awesome. As someone labeled a "nerd" in K-12--bookish, not fashionably dressed, socially awkward--I find the level of meanness you describe to be SOP. (It may seem worse now because we have the added bonus of public humiliation online.) I will say that going to an all-girls high school did wonders for my confidence. I made close friends, even among the "in crowd", and began coming out of my shell. I learned that some mean girls are just shy themselves or pressured by their own friends. (FTR, I went to public schools, including HS, in a major city.)  I enjoy reflecting on my youth much more than I did living it. I do think adults definitely need to step in much more where bullying is concerned. Kids shouldn't always "hash it out"; that's a recipe for "Lord of the Flies".

Think P. Smart said...

I think people like to believe that's what happens to the cool kids/mean girls.  This is absolutely not what happened in my situation.  While I did go to a public school for the gifted and talented, there were still social echelons.  I was a mean girl.  But everyone wanted to be down with my crew.  I have had a few situations where I've run into people from high school and they look so disappointed.  I'm doing well.  My two BFF's from HS are doing well and we all look great.  The guys in the crew are doing well too. 

That said, the kids are meaner.  I don't ever recall being mean to kids for things they had no control over.   But come to school ashy?!  It was on. 

Michele said...

High school was weird.  From K-9th grade I attended predominantly white schools and was always the outsider.  Then we moved when I was in 10th grade to a more racially diverse school and all of a sudden I'm the chick everyone wants to get to know.  It was awkward going from one extreme to the other.  I really couldn't wait to get out of high school.

Penny said...

What a nice thing you did for those girls (and not just giving them the $10.00)!!  :)

Yeah, kids are meaner today, and must more conscious of income levels of their parents and what that income can buy.  I was at the nail parlor and two young girls about 14 or 15 (I did not get mani/pedis at 14/15) were talking about the cars the people in their neighborhood drove.   They made it plain that only certain kinds of people (they used an ethnic slur-not the "N" word, but one directed towards a group of white people) drove American cars.  Their group only drove foreign cars, such as Audis, Mercedes, BMWs, etc.  I was not as aware of socioeconomic class distinctions when I was in high school as some of the young people today seem to be. 

Signed - former semi-nerd who did not hate high school.

Sarah said...

Good for you. I tend to stay clear of groups of teenagers if I can. The only place I visit where they congregate is the library. I was there last night and I could tell school was back in session. 

I loved the learning part of high school. The rest I've long forgotten about. Age is a leveler. My life might not have been a smooth ride, but it has been my life. I've learned a lot and had some fun. As a grown up people still try to impose pecking orders, but the good thing is you don't have to pay attention. 

What I see as different today is the Internet. I think it adds whole other level of possible harassment and I'm glad it wasn't around when I was young.

bashowell said...

Good for you!  Not to write a blog post, but  those kids are about as mean as kids I went to school with.  With the exception of a few months in 1st grade I've always been in public schools.  And kids were evil all throughout.  If you didn't have the right shoes, the right Trapper Keeper, the right clothes, the right hair style, etc. you were game. And that was the black kids. I grew up poor, talked properly, and was an honor student so obviously I was never "right".  My friends were white, but I was never "in" any group.  Always was an outsider. Someone actually apologized to me on FB for how they acted.  Interesting gesture.  They can ALL still kick rocks, though. 

Jeannette said...

I don't think they are meaner.. i think they have more ways to throw shade without much confrontation.  Teenage girls between the ages of 13 thru 16 are my least favorite people in the world... they just take me back to when i used to be clowned for being smart and cute....but yet they wanna be FB friends..drink bleach **sorry i just had a flashback** LOL.

sugahoneyicedtea said...

Yes, kids are a WHOLE lot meaner nowadays. I get the urge sometimes, to spank a few bottoms from the stuff that comes out of kids mouth. That was sweet of you to give them some money. I didn't really have a clique because I was some of everywhere lol

Lady4Real said...

I detest bullies and mean people. point.blank.period. When I was in high school I was in a group that is hard to define, we were misfits; smart, cute, nice, a little hood, a little bad, a lot of goody goody. I didn't have the newest or coolest threads but loved Aaliyah, Da Brat, and Brandy so my fashion was inspired by them, payless and Salvation Army or my step brothers closet ( I was 105-115lbs, 5'8/5'9 he was 150-200lbs 6'1/ 6'2 so wearing his clothes was interesting). Me and my friends used to compete on who could get an 'A' on the next quiz or test, kept spreadsheets on our grades and loved to see who would make honor roll. We were also the first ones in the cafeteria to freestyle or perform written word poetry. We all played a sport or were in choir, band or drama club. We all lived in the harder parts of the city and could throw down without questions asked, we each had a parent or relative that had fallen victim to drugs and we were willing to let anybody hang with us. Jocks loved us, mean girls tried but failed to victimize us, geeks were cool with us and teachers thought we were awesome. We were a mixed crew, females and males, black, white, and hispanic, hood and bougie. I loved my high school clique and do still today.

Jubilance said...

That was really nice of you Chele...

IDK if kids are meaner nowadays, but they have more ways to terrorize other students, and they seem to start at a younger age. You have elementary school kids with cell phones & FB pages bullying the other kids. As for me, in high school I was kinda lost - I wasn't really comfy with who I was & so I tried too hard to fit in. I had friends & stuff but there was definitely a group of "fast" girls who hated me & made me miserable at some points. I used to feel a level of satisfaction when I went home & saw them working the checkout lane at the grocery store...but now I've moved past it & I wish everyone well.

Reads4Pleasure said...

I think kids today are not only meaner, they start at an earlier age and they get it from their parents, the original mean girls/boys, and TV.

CaliGirlED said...

"Sweetie, if you ever came across hood, you would keep your mouth shut and run the other way."
 "Chances are you two will be their bosses someday. All you have to do is get out of high school."

Truer statements have never been made!...I agree with Jeanette that the kids aren't meaner, they just have larger avenues (boulevards!).  The haves and have nots have always existed and the mean kids have always pointed it out.

I was usually part of the "in crowd" but also had friends who were more quiet and reserved. I'm an equal opportunity befriender and HATE to see people get teased, picked on or mistreated (to this day)...Beat up a boy in 3rd grade cause he was picking on this girl who was really nice and quiet. Hey I warned him to stop!

When mean is confronted with "Don't mess around and get your ass kicked!", it becomes real quiet real fast. Once in high school some "skin-heads in training" thought they were going to run-a-muck in a 7-Eleven. That is until my boy came in there like "What's up? We can take it outside!" Their response, "Dude everything's cool!" Three of them, one of him.

CaliGirlED said...

I have threatened my daughter with a smooth ass whippin if she's ever being mean or bullying someone. However, if she is on the other side of that and needs to put a mofo in check, I'll deal with the Principal and the suspension to follow! Won't be no bullying or getting punk round these parts!

Jeannette said...

I wish they would invent a job description called Bully Crushers... i'd leave my corporate job and apply... nothing would make me more happier to choke slam these snot nose kids.  I'd feel like the most accomplished woman in the world.  LOL.

David Chase said...

My 9 y/o nephew has a FB page, a smartphone and an iPad - these kids can share every thought instantly with the entire school district. I ran with the athletes in HS but I was far too focused on getting out of East Podunky Georgia than I was on trying to shade folks.

rozb said...

Chele - I love the way you handled those girls! The girls you helped needed someone in their corner, and it's a shame more adults didn't speak up for them before you.

Now, kids have more options to bully and be nasty. Facebook profiles built to call a girl slutty, YouTube videos posted of kids beating up another kid who is probably weaker and vulnerable, and even texts and videos sent from phones in locker rooms and bedrooms meant to embarrass and humiliate.

rozb said...

I forgot about the Trapper Keeper! That and my having to temporarily tape the nose-piece of my glasses until my mother could afford a new pair for me really made me a target.

Yes - they can kick rocks with flip-flops!

Jeannette said...

FB page, Smartphone and a IPad? why!? He doesn't even know how to write a book report yet?  **sigh**

Reecie said...

as I was reading this, I figured you'd give them some money. I wouldve done the same.

in high school I was the one that had several groups of friends: my neighborhood friends, my honor classes friends and my cheerleading/team sports friends--many overlapped but I was not super popular even though I knew a bit of everyone, and definitely not a mean girl. 

David Chase said...

Right! The first time he emailed me, I thought - okay, no.
Why does a child need to be that plugged in? He's not missing nary a cartoon.

David Chase said...

Right! The first time he emailed me, I thought - okay, no.
Why does a child need to be that plugged in? He's not missing nary a cartoon

blackprofessor said...

That is actually a good idea!

Alonda Lord said...

I was bullied in elementary and middle school for no other reason other than I was shy and one of the cute guys liked me. The girl that thought I would be a push over got her but whipped three times (twice by me and once by her mother).

 When my son was in middle school he was bullied. I went to the school and in front of the vice principle told them in no uncertain terms that if any of them laid another hand on my son they would have to deal with me and they would not like my reaction.

CaliGirlED said...

Sending in my app right behind yours!

Think P. Smart said...

I should add, I didn't know I was a mean girl back then.  I was too self-absorbed to realize that when foolishness was happening, my friends and I were at the helm.  I don't remember being obviously hated by the other students.  But again, I was self-absorbed.  It was only recently that I was having a discussion with my HS friends (on FB, where else) and we concluded that we were complete a-holes to other students but even more so to some of our teachers. 

blackprofessor said...

Great story!

High school - I was smart and always in honors and AP courses but still very social! I definitely wasn't a mean girl. I got that "high yella" shade from some chicks, but for the most part I was cool with most boys and girls.  I don't think kids are meaner but I do think they are bolder and less restrained.

We need more people to do what you did, which is basically check these kids and let them know what time it is.  

CaliGirlED said...

But is was that one video Roz of the boy who was getting bullied while the friends of the bully cheered and laughed.  Then the "bullyee" turned on the bully, slamming him to the ground and incidentally banging the bully's ankle on a concrete planter. Said bully got up and limped away with his sorry friends looking on in amazement....I almost hit the screen trying to give that boy a hi five!!!

BlackButterfly said...

"Choke slamming snot nose kids"  is exactly why I am chose not to be a teacher.  I just can't with these type of children.

Jeannette said...

I can't do it... I volunteered for Junior Achievement in 2009 for 2 months at this Middle school in Richardson, TX.  Mind you i'm taking MY TIME out of MY JOB to make a difference.  If some of these kids weren't the most disrespectful and the most rude acting kids i've seen in my life.  The sad part is the bad ones made it hard for the good ones that wanted to do the exercises and experience something new.  I had to tell them.. this is not for me.  

Honest Enigma said...

I did not and still do not do cliques.  I hang with folks I like who do things that I enjoy doing  race/ finances etc. really has nothing to do with it.  Not a mean girl, pretty friendly actually - I am just one of those folks that did not/don't have an issue with letting you know where you stand with me after I took my time and observed you for a while.  You don't have to be ugly in order to be honest  : D

I do so hate a bully.   Will stand beside someone who is being picked on without a second thought.  

I probably would have done the same things for those girls.   Nobody told these mean girls that money like your looks can be fleeting?   It is going to be a tough lesson for them to learn later. 

 As to are kids meaner I think they get more encouragement/ acceptance when they are acting ugly for no good reason.  It is like entertainment - like the kind that they see on TV.  

Sasha Iman said...

I'm thoroughly convinced kids are meaner today and it's primarily
because they have more outlets for their bullying antics and this newly
narcissistic "look at me now" social landscape we're creating. Back in
the day, kid got punked at school, and maybe a few kids in the
neighboring highschools heard about it. Nowadays, it's on youtube for
the whole world to see and the story is on the local news because
someone read about it on facebook or twitter. Not only that, these do-do
birds are proud that they're getting a little media hype (until someone
gets hurt and their behinds might go to jail), so they keep doing what
they're doing to get their 15 minutes of fame AND, as part of this "look
at me now" shift, these kids are swearing up and down they're that
important because they've got 1,000 fb friends, 10,000 twitter
followers, and 100,000 views on their youtube  chanel so now they've got
adoring fans to please. :::rolls eyes:::

Sasha Iman said...

Ipad: Maybe. Smart phone & a facebook page: Homie you 9.

Who you got
e-mailing you important documents and conference calling?

Why on earth
does the local pedophile posing as Sarah from down the street need to
know where you go to school (maybe even live), what your favorite
*whatever it takes to lure you in his car* is, and what park he can find
you at every Friday at 4pm?  

taut_7 said...

those girls were really mean. i couldn't imagine in a million years saying something like that to anyone. 

in high school i was in different circles. i took mostly ap classes and graduated 3rd in my class. so naturally i was cool with the brainiacs. i was on the debate team, future teachers of america, honor society, etc. i was also a jock. i played basketball, ran track and played a year of football so i was cool with everyone who played sports. i have two brothers (twins) who are only 20 months younger than me so i was in high school with them as well so i hung with them a lot.

BlackButterfly said...

Those girls may not realize it now but total recall will hit them at the appropriate time and they will realize the value in the information you gave.

I was the quiet one that had a couple of true friends.  I got along with just about everyone except for the time that a popular clique chick wanted to fight me over a boy that she liked, liking me (doesn't that sound so high school) o_O.  "Ummm, Yeah my mother didn't raise me that way (fighting over a boy???) and the only reason we will fight is if you hit me."  She looked at my drop dead serious gaze and walked on.

My daughter is in that age range (she's 15) and she does tell me that there are some really mean "mean girls" at her school.  I have raised her to treat people with respect and kindness and  I always tell her to choose friends with that same mindset. 

Javalicious said...

Well look at the "reality" "stars" these kids have to look up to - these b*tches are mean and are applauded for being just as ratchet as possible.

Bonita Applebum said...

I remember you doing that Jeannette!! LMAO!! You'd post about it....then like a month later, not a word. Dah well.

Bonita Applebum said...

Ion't care if these kids are meaner nowadays or not. My daughter will grow up with my same personal views:  

-I'm awesome and if you don't think so then your life is 4 Suck Levels below mine.
-I'm friendly with everyone but everyone isn't my friend.
-You have something negative to say about me? Oh. *puts on headphones and listens to Michael Jackson* Aight. Go.
-Heaven is gonna be more incredible than anything we can imagine. So I'm using this time to make my life something I can compare it to when I get there.

Jeannette said...

I think i side eyed this one little girl too hard when she asked me to go to the bathroom twice in a span of 30 minutes... I knew it was time to step!  I know the "can i go to the bathroom?" trick.

DCbywayofCali said...

Nearly everyone in my HS was lower middle class or poor, but those variations, and different values surrounding spending did result in people being ostracized.  No one was really bullied per se, but folks just weren't accepted and didn't have many friends unless they were athletes or worse hoochies.  I guess being ignored is better than being picked on.

I was a cheerleader/nerd.  I like to think I made being a nerd kinda cool.

Page Bartlett said...

Right - my twelve year old niece was acting out the other day and said she was having a "Nene-day" - that's just shameful.

Jason P said...

"Sucks to be poor" - you handled that so much better than I would have. Who raises kids like that?

Jason P said...

Co-sign. For me HS was about what can I do to get out of here and get on to the next.

CaliGirlED said...

I volunteered to help with the Cy-Fair Family Fest. Unfortunately I missed the 1st two meetings, while in L.A., and was inserted into the overseer of the Kids Zone! Dah hell??? They have assured me I don't have to be hands on with the kids, just make sure everything is coordinated and the volunteers are in place....I.don't.like.kids. (Love them to death, would do anything for them, but don't like them!)

PSA: If I can't snatch a knot in your child's ass, then they can't be in my care! (Yes I am the one all of my little cousins mind!)

CaliGirlED said...

"The girl that thought I would be a push over got her but whipped three times (twice by me and once by her mother). " No yo mama didn't! I love it!!!

sugahoneyicedtea said...

Woe is me, my comment has disappeared :-/ Well I was teased quite a bit for my looks, but the  same dudes that would not give me the time of day are now all on my ____(four letters, rhymes with slit)..I think not only are they meaner, but they have more avenues to spread their poison..but I didn't really have a clique I fluttered everywhere lol
 
P.S. Can somebody convince Riley to show his face again? I missed it the 1st time lol

CaliGirlED said...

*raises hand for the latter*

You're absolutely right, the "village" mentality is out the window! My daughter knows that disrespecting an adult will get her hurt. However, if an adult disrespects her she is to come to me with it. "You handle the kids and let me handle the adults!"

Bryan Anthony said...

I barely escaped HS with my life. I was so nerdy even the nerds were like - Dude really? But who knew the geeks would inherit the earth and I'd meet guys who dragged me to the gym twice a week in college? #ShoutOut to Shawn, whose first words to me on campus were - Why do you look like you've been dipped in bad denim?

Who else used part of their scholarship check to do a college makeover?

blackprofessor said...

You reminded me that I had a similar situation with a popular girl wanting to fight me over a popular boy. I was like "I don't fight over boys but put your hands on me and I will crush you." Needless to say, I never heard from her or him again.

blackprofessor said...

Dead at little hoodlums!!

Yofabulous said...

Based on my experience, I'd have to say they aren't any meaner now.  Things like this happened when I was in junior high and high school.  Junior high I was clearly in the nerdy "black girl who acts white" category.  High school was a little easier since the student body was more diverse.  Kids today just have more avenues to express their lack of home training.

FlirtyNerd said...

I was the solo black girl in my clique in high school. I never really hung around the other black girls, but I tried to be friendly with everyone. We were the choir/club nerds...any club you could name, me or my friends were in it. Choir, Foreign Language Club, Key Club, Math Club, etc. etc. lol. I was never really "bullied", but I was teased for not being super rich like my friends' parents were. I would not get invited to parties, etc...but my friends were awesome. If they got invited to a party and I didn't, they were VERY vocal about it and would tell the people off lol! And then they'd encourage other people not to go.

I don't think that teenagers have necessarily gotten meaner. I think that they are more outward with it because some parents and other adults refuse to punish their bad behavior. And like someone else said, there are so many examples of society rewarding bad behavior (reality tv, etc.), some of these kids think it's a-ok to make someone else feel like crap. But my daughter and I have had this conversation...I REFUSE to raise a Mean Girl. She's learning to take up for others and to not accept being bullied or talked down by anyone.

 Chele, I applaud you for handling that situation the way you did. There's no telling how many times those girls had been teased by that particular group or anyone else for that matter.

JoycelynC said...

yeah, my little 11 year old cousin is still waiting for me to accept her FB friend request.  I can't since she blatantly lied to get on there (I think you are supposed to be 12 and up).  She wants a smart phone too but her mama thankfully objected. 

Digital Eve said...

Good for you Chele!! I guarantee you it's a lesson that will stay w/all of them forever! 

I was not in the 'in' crowd, but I didn't ignore the 'nerds' either. I never wanted to be associated w/any one group so I floated; talked to everyone, and years later I get the 'cool' kids, as well as the 'nerds' saying hi to me when I see them on the street. Mind you, if there ever was any injustice on anybody's part, I would always stand up for them too.

I remember one day these guys beat up a first year kid, he was so small, he looked like he was twelve. I cussed the dudes out until they walked into the principal's office. I was their friend, and I made them feel so small for ganging up on a poor kid the first week of school! I was so mad!! Ugh, I still hate to see that kind of stuff and I intervene when possible. 

maureen said...

I'm yet to understand that concept of tweens having smartphones, and parents are willing to pay for them too. My  14 y.o cousin tried to block me on his FB page, he was shocked  to learn there are ways to go around it.

maureen palmer said...

Great advice for them Chele.  These kids  have gotten meaner.  My friend's daughter was taunted in middle school and told her mom "I will take boarding  school and cold water and all in Kenya before I can back to school."

CaliGirlED said...

Why am I not surprised by Shawn's question! Harsh but effective. LOL

Marioned said...

As others have said, not meaner just more avenues.  I was a cheerleader all through junior and high school.  Honestly, my memory is bit fuzzy.  Got along with alot of different groups.    Loved my time in high school and was never bullied. 

My motto was "don't start none, won't be none!

Earthangel172 said...

Chele,

You always have the BEST punchlines!!

I ran track in high school and even then I didn't consider myself apart of a "clique". I'm sorry but hanging out with an entourage was never my thing. I knew e'rbody and their mama but I didn't fall in with any crowds.

However, I do believe that kids nowadays are petty and mean as hell. When my daughter was in 2nd grade, she came home one day and told me that one of her playmate's mom told her daughter that she could no longer call my child her "friend" because "she doesn't have friends, only associates".

 ::insert blank stare::

I calmly told my daughter that the correct word is acquaintances and that she needs to find other little girl to play with because that woman is off her damn rocker.

thinklikeRiley said...

I was boughetto, polo shirt with saggy pants, silver chain with diamonelles, talking mad trash. So lucky I didn't get my azz beat regularly.

Kid ain't mean, they bad as hell.

sunt97 said...

Oh yeah, they are very mean.  I have heard some girls say things that made me want to hide.   I was always in the in between group.  There were people that liked and hated me on both sides, so I got the best a worst of some things.  I knew the cool people well and we hung out...sometimes.  I know the unpopular people and hung out with them too...sometimes.  I guess I played my part.  The silly, quirky chick that new someone from every school but was sheltered and not allowed to do a damn thing.

Peace, Love and Chocolate,
Tiffany

GuessImJay said...

Chele- which clique were you?

OneChele said...

Made my own clique. They called us the Zoo Crew. I never asked why and still don't want to know.

We were the "good girls" - preppy, wore a whole lot of ribbons that matched our socks. Penny loafers and topsiders in a rainbow of colors. I was on the tennis team and in the Spanish club. My two best friends were the head of the cheerleading squad and the head of the drill team. We were friends with everybody except these three senior chicks that wanted to kick our asses for carrying Gucci purses to school. They were fake but they wanted us dead on GP. First time someone screamed "Bougie B*tch!" at me in a lunch room. Good times. 

GuessImJay said...

This adds up for me. And you grew up to date athletes. *pieces start falling into place*

OneChele said...

I don't only date athletes *crosses arms*

GuessImJay said...

Ma'am - who was the last guy you dated who wasn't athletic? And how long ago was that?

OneChele said...

*squints hard* Cardiologist two years ago. When was the last time you dated a woman who couldn't have modeled for Vicki's Secret?

GuessImJay said...

Well-played.

Max said...

YES. They are way meaner now and they have a jillion platforms to throw shade and humiliate each other on. Back in the day if you had a bully messing with you, they only could get to you in school. Now they can text you, create FB pages about their hatred of you, and mass email the school about you. E-thuggery is at an all time high and these kids are masters of it.

Shondriette said...

Bravo Chele!!! 1) For helping those girls. I'm sure they'll remember you for a long time to come. 2) For checking those snot-nosed brats! They and their parents should be ashamed.

I'm not sure if kids are meaner or if technology like texting and social media have just made them lose their filters. Either way it's ugly and saddening.

When I was in college I was a "B" crowd girl; popular but not at the top of the food chain. I got along with and spoke to everyone.

Shondriette said...

Your comment was the highlight of my day! Thanks for the multiple laughs :-)

Reneester said...

No disrespect but a 9 year old does not need a smart phone and an ipad.  

Shondriette said...

I work with kids of all ages but most of my teenagers make me want to do them harm. Lawd, they are out of control! Self-respect, common sense, decency, etc. are foreign concepts to a lot of them.

Reneester said...

Ha!  My 9 year old nephew wants an iphone.  He even had the nerve to ask my husband for $300 to buy it.  So far, his mother hasn't caved in.  

datdudeincali said...

Stealing "e-thuggery"

David Chase said...

Your love of denim was matched by Jay's love of linen co-ord-in-nates...

C Nelson said...

Yep. And then guess which child got punished? I watched with amazement as a group of other mothers loudly criticised the child who was bullied for not turning the other cheek and walking away.

ShawnSoze said...

BWAHAHA!

MsJamie14 said...

LMAO!!!!

CaliGirlED said...

 Bang bang shoot 'em up, he's dead!!!

ShawnSoze said...

He still stays a little too close to them linen fits

CaliGirlED said...

 I have a 21 & over policy on FB. I think my one cousin re-requested me the day of her 21st birthday! Should have just told her she's ratchet and I don't want her on my page! Instead I hit "Confirm".

CaliGirlED said...

GTFOH!!! Are you serious??? Exactly why I told my daughter I will deal with the Principal if she has to defend herself!

Natasha Hunter said...

My high school was known as "the fashion show school"  and I was one of the kids who went from ashy to classy, elementary to high school. Elementary school, there wasn't much money in the fam so there was teasing there,  but as the years went by it got a  little better, freshman year I had a lil' clique (never mean, just very exclusive)  and then I got the job at Ticketmaster ...Shiiiid.

 1st check went out and bought myself a 10K claddagh ring (had no idea what it symbolized but the design was hot in the streets) and some Ellesses... and put an authentic aviator jacket on layaway...which I had up until really recently... (I didn't wear it tho')  LOL #ballin'

bashowell said...

So stealing "drink bleach". LOL!

Angela said...

Good looking out, Michele! I agree with the others that there are so many more opportunities and avenues from which to attack these days, especially anonymously, that the viciousness has increased exponentially.

I was always personable, though not necessarily friendly. I was nice to everyone, cute, smart and pretty darn helpful; most people seemed to like me. The school I attended was 95% white and I never had a lot of drama with "mean girls". Plus, I have 7 brothers and, thus, an extremely smart mouth:-) Given that I also loved to read, mind my own business and was pretty much a goody two shoes, I didn't have many dealings with the females who attended the black high school down the street from my house. Had I attended that school, I can see where a few people may have taken issue with me. Years later I learned girls in the neighborhood thought I was stuck up (I'm guessing because I was quiet?).  Anywho, I think I fell into the "you might want to leave her alone" category. 

C Nelson said...

Thank you for helping those two girls; too many adults would've shrugged and concluded it was none of their business or -- worse -- "high school is like that". High school is like that, but only because people who could stop it don't give enough of a damn to do so.

Kids aren't meaner; they've always been that mean. It's tough to tell a kid's mind apart from a psychopath's, because they're still figuring out their ethics as they go. And yet otherwise-sane adults somehow look at them and the Lord of the Flies mess that high school can be and go "oh, it's a rite of passage, happens to everybody, you'll survive." (And the ones that don't, well, they were just broken and weak.) Yes, I'm bitter.

I emigrated at age twelve; I had been top of my class all my life, was in one of the best secondary schools in the country, doing college-level work -- and officials looked at my age instead of my test scores, and decided a twelve-year-old couldn't go to college, so they put me in ninth grade. Two years younger than everybody else, doing work four years ahead of everybody else so that what we covered in class was easy review, poor, and sheltered besides -- I couldn't have been an easier target. Sad to say, the black kids were worse than the white ones, because
not only did I have all the other things against me, but I lacked all
the cultural markers they looked for. Very slight accent, proper
English, I dressed like a white kid, wore no jewelry but small stud
earrings, etc. They made my life hell. School went from being my refuge to being another source of stress. And the adults' party line was "everybody has it tough in high school." Feh.

Aishaoaktree1122 said...

as the daughter of a teacher, and the niece of a teacher I wasn't anybody's idea of 'cool'. Yet I hung out with everyone, I didn't have a clique, I was on the honor roll, the cheerleading team, gymnastics team, and track team,  I volunteered in the principal's office, and the library, I was an awesome mix of nerdy but cool (at least I like to think so)
I went from private school to public and still had the same mix of friends, my best friends were jocks, and nerds, I couldn't be mean because someone was always bigger and badder, so I kept my nose clean and made friends where ever I could. I feel proud in saying I have NEVER gotten into a fight in my whole school career and won't now just because my Grandmere's words keep running through my head "only rabble fights, a real woman cuts with words, so you feel it even years later"

Trey Charles said...

I had the triple whammy in high school, I was musical and nerdy and introverted. So my crew was a mixed diverse group to say the least.

What those kids said to those girls was inexcusable though, their parents should be ashamed.

Trey Charles said...

When you come at the Queen, you betta not miss.

Trey Charles said...

Not diamonelles!

Jeannette said...

What H.S.? I went to Dodge..

thinklikeRiley said...

I'm a Cali guy hangin' in the BX for now

Singlelif said...

Yes Ma'am, kids are a lot more mean today than they were when I was in school.  I think we can attribute that to "internet gangsters"....i.e. FaceBook and Twitter.  Social media has contributed to the mean kids being a lot more brave when hiding behind a keyboard. They dont even have to "know" those they attack.

My Mother was an Elementary School Principal.  I was the smart kid who always did the right thing.  I was a friend to everybody, and still one of the "cool kids".

Annette Evans said...

Children left to their own devices can be devils.....Great that you stood up for those girls;  they will remember your advice forever....good home training is sorely lacking these days.

Angel Blanca said...

Even though I didn't realize it then, I learned my true purpose in life while in high school.  I'm a bridge; I can be at ease in just about any group of people, and I never really belong to a clique at all, but drift in and out of different groups introducing ideas, information, and people from one to another as necessary, even when those groups did not mix.

I knew the mean girls clique, and they respected me, for the most part, because I was the ultimate smart girl (one of only two black girls at the top of the class), and they knew I represented all of us well, as I was from a poor background, but could relate across class, intelligence, and color.

That said, I didn't appreciate who I really was back then, as I could drift easily, but never really belonged to anyplace wholly.  It's still somewhat of a challenge for me, as I have a broad group of friends, but none, outside of family, with whom I have a super-tight ongoing relationship, which makes me sad sometimes.

If I could do it all over again, I think I would work harder to create more of a moral challenge to the mean girls clique, because they really were just insecure in themselves and unable to get beyond that insecurity to enjoy or celebrate others.

Lady4Real said...

LOL

Reads4Pleasure said...

You get points for the thinly veiled Wire reference.

Lady4Real said...

Girl, I might have went to war with that woman, momma don't play when it comes to the babies, let kids be kids, damn. I hate parents that want to control every.damn.thing.

La said...

Kids are awful. AWFUL. Like, downright cruel and abusive. My 2nd job has me spend alot of time with high schoolers and MY GOD. Alot of those kids are perfectly polite and well behaved. But many of them are just NIGHTMARES. And if they are that awful to me (a stranger and adult), I can only IMAGINE what kinda horrors they are in their daily lives. I was fairly popular in high school and ran with the "in" crowd, but I had a pretty diverse group of friends and wasn't a mean girl. I didn't see the need to be. People liked me without dumping trays of food on a less popular person's head in the middle of lunch (this happened to one of my students).

I'm so glad you took a moment to stand up for those kids. So often no one validates how they feel because they brush it off as "kids being kids." Sometimes even something so small is a bouy for them. And I can't WAIT til the day they randomly remember this and realize that you were right; that they have gone on to live amazing, full lives, and their tormentors in high school are likely still living in their same hometown, having babies by their same high school boo thing, and working at a company the "nerds" are CEO of.

Angel Blanca said...

This post also reminds me why I decided that teaching high school was not in the cards for me; I'd have to slap someone (verbally, of course) and their parents for such foolishness.  By the time they reach me in college, they're technically adults, so it's an exchange among (theoretical) equals. ;)

Lady4Real said...

I have two sons, 12 and 10. Their friends are some of the rudest little bastards I have ever encountered and my husband and I scare the bejesus out of them because we are strict as hell. I'm thankful that when other parents meet us all they can do is sing the praises of our children, mean while I don't have nothing nice to say so I don't say anything at all. Sad thing is we are teen parents, my sons friends parents are like 40ish, why are we doing a better job? idk, I guess we had old school parents that passed it down.

Lady4Real said...

I don't allow my children to watch it and if they should find a loophole I explain that their behavior is not acceptable.

Jeannette said...

Gotcha!

Max said...

LOL! Have at it.

Asada said...

I was sheltered and ignorant too.  I was the bullied one until I got to a private high school where everyone was too polite to be mean in public. Had a group of  outsider/honor student friends.  It was sweet except I came outta no where and everyone else had been friends since elementary school! I had to learn things as they came.

And yes, some of these kids are telling other people's CHILDREN to commit suicide because they are different and/or ugly.  It's sad.

Earthangel172 said...

let kids be kids, damn.

This!

Earthangel172 said...

Agreed!

Natasha Smith said...

Although I was one of the 'cool kids' back in my high school days, I wasn't a mean girl. I went to a small, private all-girls hs, and our Dean of Students didn't tolerate any true unkind behavior. So did we mock the chick who wore stickers on her glasses? Sure, but that's about as mean as it ever got. 

These kids today? They scare me. 

Earthangel172 said...

I.don't.like.kids.
PSA: If I can't snatch a knot in your child's ass, then they can't be in my care!

::gives Cali my best love offering::

Sangali said...

Me too!!

sol_dier said...

The level of meanness hasn't changed at all, we just know better now and see it with our adult hats on.

I went to Boarding school where everyone wanted to be close to a state govs son then a diff gov. sent his daughter there and that upped the stakes. People ranked you according to the type of car your driver dropped off your school supplies in. Your parents weren't expected on more than one visiting day per term.
The day my father came to school in a cab, I was pulled aside and asked if my father owned a fleet of chauffeured taxis. When I said no, they thought I was lying and trying to be humble. O_O 

If you didn't go somewhere foreign on holiday then you just shut up about it or lied,  Your contraband goods were rated, the books you read, E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G was rated. It was utterly ridiculous.

I was as I am now, on the fence. I existed in both worlds. I didn't give a damn about who had money, mainly because school made me realise my family had nothing compared to these rich summa bitches and my mother made it clear that I owned nothing until I worked for it. She made it clear, I will not be inheriting zilch, there will be no trust fund, nothing. So I shut my mouth and just did me.

The cool kids liked me but hated the fact that I hung out with the geeks, and the geeks loved me but hated the fact that I hung out with the cool kids. At certain points I got the hatred at the same damn time. It made me a loner and I still enjoy being by myself today.

If you think kids are meaner today, you simply had the good fortune to grow up not experiencing the hell of mean kids of yester-years.

These kids today?, they ain't got nothing on the kids I grew up with. 

sol_dier said...

I don't see the big deal with the ipad. My 6 yr old niece has one. Her father is a tech. She has all her private math tutor projects on there as well as her phonetics work, also means bed time stories are really interactive and interesting. 
It's just another comms device and the earlier & more familiar kids are with the tools of their gen. then better. 
Same thing with a smart phone. My niece uses her fathers phone the same way she does the ipad. 
It also acts as a great filter for appropriate content.

Draw the line at facebook page though :(

sol_dier said...

if it was this one : http://www.break.com/fights/chubby-kid-snaps-and-slams-bully-2023531 then if u watch the vid again, the bully actually got slammed him head first. 

Micki said...

Kids were mean then. Horribly mean. I was on both sides. If you came for me, I was going to take you, your mother and your firstborn down.

So, I am not shocked by the exchange that you overheard. I am ashamed to admit that I may have engaged in some sort of similar exchange 20-something years ago. *sad face*

The only difference is that we didn't have Facebook, emails, or twitter. Back then you left horrible notes in folks' lockers, had slam books (or posters in the social areas), or crap in the hallways.

I am sure that there are many people that "went through it". *thinking about the Breakfast Club*

GammasWorld said...

Kudos for how you handled mean girls and for sticking up for the girls who were their target.  I was team I don't gibbadamn in high school.  I had so many issues at home that the nonsense that went on in high school was truly nonsense for me.   School was were I went to catch a damn break.   My attitude was "if all it takes is an "A" to have the grownups cool, then I'll get the dang A".  That was after that miserable period known as Junior High School though where I reached a lofty height of 5'9" in 8th grade.  This little jerk named Chris teased me unmercifully.   It wasn't until mid-year that I realized he got teased for being so short so was retaliating.  We never did become friends but his teasing didn't bother me anymore ... besides I was taller than he was and could've bopped in the head at any given moment.  

GuessImJay said...

^^Hatin' - cuz I'm smooth with mine. I know you two addicted to polo shirts and cargo shorts boys are not coming at me.

sol_dier said...

 I had so many issues at home that the nonsense that went on in high school was truly nonsense for me.  
^THIS^

I thought my parents were getting a divorce and quite frankly I was devastated, turns out they were having another baby.  

happinessisme said...

I had a bad home life so I was constantly depressed and introverted. I was always skipping school to drink and go have sex in the woods with my douchebag bf. I was also bisexual so I think that made people think I was weird. I had horrible grades but once I graduated high school and left Cleveland,life got insanely better. At least on paper. Half those "popular" kids are doing nothing spectacular. Or raising a bunch of babies. 

CaliGirlED said...

"School was were I went to catch a damn break."... Didn't know until recently that a friend of mine felt this way. So sad. And it too drove her to do great in school.

ASmith said...

I'm so sad face that I missed this conversation.  But this was me in high school, too.  Throw in the private school bit and having to volley between the white kids and the black kids and it was crazy.

I can befriend just about anybody and that's great, except for when you really need steady rock-like groups of friends... kinda a problem.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       

GammasWorld said...

I don't know what the key is that makes a child super motivated to do well in school as opposed to going the other way.   There were 5 of us and the baby and I were the only ones that used school as as a source of counseling.  The other 3 strictly went to school because the law said they must LOL but they excelled in the military.  I would have gotten kicked out of military day 1 :) 

Brneyed1 said...

"PSA: If I can't snatch a knot in your child's ass, then they can't be in my care!"  
That's right!!  Get 'em!  I'll snatch up your kid's collar in a hot second if they get out of pocket.  You got a problem with that, don't leave 'em with me.

#nocountryforbrats

Brneyed1 said...

Bratty kids like that make me wanna throat-chop them.  I hope they remember that day.

In high school I ran with the "invisible" crew:  nobody knew me except for the few kids I called friends.  I did not like high school....I went because the law said I had to.  The cliques just irked me and the teachers didn't challenge me enough to hold my interest.  I think I was the only person who didn't cry at graduation; I was overjoyed to get out of that joint.  

Kim said...

Little girls are so damn nasty I swear.
Just ignorant, crass little b*tches.

I could never be a high school teacher. lmao

rikyrah said...

you did a good thing.

me?

I was always a nerd...never tried to be anything else.

CorettaJG said...

Kids are MEAN, mouthy, disrespectful and way too grown these days!  What happened to "train up a child..."?

I went to a public, magnet school in Baton Rouge that was multi-cultural, multi-lingual and had all kinds (goth, alternative, preps, trust fund babies, legacy kids, new immigrants, striving middle class etc.)  I was the Student Body Vice President who took AP classes, played saxophone in the band, ran track and was voted best dressed and most likely to succeed.  Myfriends looked like the model U.N.  We had fun for the most part and got our college prep on. 

This foolishness?  The girls I hung with would have been scandalized by how mean these girls were and ostracized THEM.  Kids either talked about you behind your back and or didn't talk to you at all, not all this in your face ugliness.  Maybe it was the Southern woman in them.  Bless their hearts.

MidWestDominicana said...

1) Wow...love Braum's. Haven't seen one in a minute.

2) Grew up like you...sheltered and very naive/ignorant. Talk about culture shock. I was always one of the outcasts, the girl with her nose in a book who people thought they could take advantage of because I was nice. It was a horrible three years.

Hidi said...

No, I don't believe kids today are meaner; they've always been mean. Also, their parents are no different.  You know, there are adult "bullies" but I'm not going to even go there now. Another time or probably place.  Anyway, I was "invisible" in high school and the people I hung out with were multiracial and cultural; it was a really small group. (shrugs shoulders)

When I was in elementary school, someone did try to bully me ( i did say tried), she did not succeed. :)

Mrs. R said...

Loved this post. I was in the glee club and latin club, so take a guess where I fit in? LOL. I will say this, the kids in my group all went to college/grad school, got great jobs/own businesses, married, then had kids and are living it up. The mean kids are all on FB talking about the good ol' days in high school and still attending high school football games. REALLY??!!  I see some of the FB requests from high school ppl (they were not my friends and I happily deny them) and I think to myself, why the hell do you want to talk to me now? I take a look at their profile/wall posts/pics and just shake my head. So sad. Their life began and ended in high school.

Mina B. said...

4 yrs of all girls private school right here. I mostly hung out with the other black people. I was faaaar from a misfit. We thought it was racy to go to the library so we could use the computers there to chat with boys on yahoo, oh and prank call city offices from the pay phone! Some of the antics my younger siblings (who got to go to public school) tell me about was shocking! They HAVE to have security on campus b/c those kids are WILD! Folks, getting teeth knocked out, selling drugs, having sexcapades, all the while some of them are 16-17 yrs old and cannot fill out a job application b/c they are nearly illiterate. What's really going on these days?

One Chele said...

Next week, I go back to teaching these little hoodlums young minds and I have to tell you, the struggle is real. Trifling azz children come from trifling azz parents. The real problem is that we are no longer using the village (neighborhood) to raise our children, we are using TV, playstation and mp3. The only way to fix it is for those of us that have (or will have) children to raise them better and pray that they will be a good influence on the others.

Or we can just roam around slapping the hell out of them - whatever works.

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails