Tuesday, September 06, 2011

Should political differences be a deal breaker?


I was chilling at a party at JohnK's new house this weekend. I'm going to let him guest post about the shenanigans that went on there (to a point) and concentrate on one potential hook up that went wrong.

I sat and watched a guy and a girl playing the game for a few hours. It was like watching a romantic comedy. She walked in, he did a double take, she saw him looking and did the hair flip. They circled the bar and the TV room once before sitting down next to each other. The giggling, the joke-telling, the "OMG, I love pizza and pop music too!" conversation... priceless to watch.

The pheromones were flying around these two. Someone started taking bets as to how long it would be until they left the party together. It was all good times until someone brought up gas prices. Which lead to a discussion on the economy... which lead to a discussion about Obama. Ruh-roh. Turns out dude worked on Obama's campaign and girlie voted for McCain. And wants Michelle Bachmann to win in 2012. During a lull in conversation she announced that "Bachmann/Perry would be a great ticket."

**crickets** Bless her heart. To each his own, I guess? 

But dude looked at her like she suddenly grew horns and swore allegiance to Lucifer. (Then again Rick Perry is the devil... never mind) He jumped up, mumbled something about going to the kitchen and never returned. Girlie was devastated. "So I'm a Republican, is that so bad?" She asked the room at large. I didn't say anything. I don't know why political affiliations were exchanged before phone numbers but maybe that's me.

I was in the unfortunate situation of trying to date an Obama hater. It wasn't so much that dude hated Obama, it was that he was intolerant of any view dissimilar to his own. Life is too short for that level of intolerance. So for me, the extreme right wingism wasn't the only reason to cut him loose it was the last straw on a tall pile.

BougieLand, I ask you - could you date someone who didn't share your political affiliations/beliefs? Who radically opposed them? Is that something you can overlook for the good of the relationship? A guy once told me he couldn't date a woman who didn't vote - what do you think about that? Should politics be on your relationship deal breaker list? The floor is yours.

118 comments:

Single_lif said...

Humph...I may have to come back and add to this comment later, since I'm just checking in after arriving home from the weekend.  But right off the break, the first thing that comes to my mind is No, I don't think political affiliation is something I can overlook within relationship possibilities, since I think of them as a fundamental dealbreaker.  Not so much that I cant tolerate an opposing opinion, I just dont want to set myself up for long-term disagreements.  And if you dont vote ? Well, to me that points to irresponsibility, which sits right next to blasphemy in my mind.

So I can totally relate to dude stepping off, and saving himself many days, and possibly nights, of arguments, and the like. #NoCanDoBoo

Donell Creech said...

i dont know if i would say *instant* deal breaker, she would have about fiiiive minutes to try and explain her (il)logic behind her thoughts. differences in opinions yes - but no country for radically different opinions. unless of course - i looked like james carville, in which case id be happy to get whoever i could.

Jubilance said...

Wait - is she Black? And a Bachmann fan? #doesnotcompute

I couldn't be with someone longterm who was completely at the opposite end of the politcal spectrum from me. That would indicate to me that we have completely different viewpoints & outlooks on life as a whole, and that would be too big of a difference. While politics isn't a dealbreaker for me, a person who cannot respect other people's opinions & beliefs is a dealbreaker. I'm all for discussion & debate, but at the end of the day I need someone in my life who can discuss the issues without trying to convert me or belittle my views.

bashowell said...

Yeah political differences are a dealbreaker.  I find out you're Republican you get shuffled to the "trash" pile immediately.  And Tea Party?  That's just...naw.  There's just no way I could date someone at the other end of the political spectrum.

sunt97 said...

I do have a problem with someone not voting.  Too many people went through too much for us to have that right and to squander it is a slap in the face.  As for political agendas, as long as they were open minded to my views I may see how far we can go.  I am sure there are couples all over the place that do not agree politically.

Peace, Love and Chocolate,
Tiffany

bashowell said...

Is she Black - that's my question.  Have a hard enough time w/Bachmann fan if she's not Black.

DCbywayofCali said...

Political differences aren't a deal breaker, BUT they must be in the realm of having some sense.  Colin Powell Republican is different from bat-ish crazy Michelle Bachmann Republican.  Hell I've let go of friends over Tea Party politics.  Where do YOU really want to take the country? 

Actually, being too far left may get you the boot from the dating pile too.  If you're seeing UFOs with Dennis Kucinich and longing for the days when we're all freegans then sayonara.

Singlelif said...

We can be friends, but that's as far as it would go. We wouldn't be cuddle bunnies or bed boo's. At all.

GrownAzzMan said...

"Bachmann/Perry would be a great ticket."  *Record scratch* I can picture the whole room going on freezeframe.
could you date someone who didn't share your political affiliations/beliefs? Who radically opposed them? Is that something you can overlook for the good of the relationship? A guy once told me he couldn't date a woman who didn't vote - what do you think about that? Should politics be on your relationship deal breaker list?

At this tick of the watch all of this would be a deal-breaker for me. I don't even think we could be facebook friends.

Natasha Hunter said...

If we don't share the same political affiliations/beliefs it doesn't have to be a deal breaker, but I don't do bigotry, even if it's in my favor.

MsJamie14 said...

So glad you asked this first, cuz that was the question I was gonna ask!

MsJamie14 said...

Of course they can work! It worked for Arnold and Maria!

Wait, nevermind. LOL

Mina B. said...

The only time I'd say deal breaker is if the person is really serious about their political affiliation. If they hold office, have a goal to do so, or work/volunteer in politics then it seems like you'd be missing out on something they dedicate an awful lot of their time to. While they are spending weekends organizing rallies & networking w/their like minded friends..what will you be doing?

But, if not then I'd say datable. I love being able to debate w/my SO - even if it gets heated I enjoy that we can both have polar opposite opinions and be able to hold our ground. The same if the person doesn't vote. It's not an automatic grounds for dismissal. I would want to know how they came to their conclusions and if they are reasonable then yeah.

I reiterate- if they are r e a s o n a b l e. I'd much rather a person say they hadn't given it much thought than give some BS reasons (a la Lupe Fiasco) and then proceed to complain.

Jacquie Gee said...

Deal-breaker??? Not necessarily. My daddy is a ex-Military Republican, the Man is Team Obama, and I tend to build my political theory from different view points. But like others have said, far-left or far-right will get you cut.

maureen said...

In my grandfather's word, "politics, love, money and religion  are personal issues, tread carefully."  For  me, extreme stances  for both parties  would make me  uncomfortable. With that said, until 2016 it's #TeamObama, but will give a moderate Republican a chance. #NoCountry4TeaPartiers

maureen palmer said...

"i looked like james carville, in which case id be happy to get whoever i could". You are wrong for this. LOL!  Sometimes I wonder about their relationship though; that level of passion (they have) for their respective parties has to have a negative effect on their relationship.

Micki said...

No.  It shouldn’t and it hasn’t.  Some of the best romantic relationships that I’ve experienced have been with conservatives.  I credit that to the fact that I am probably lean towards fiscally conservatism.  But a relationship can work as long as he respects my choices and my vote, then we are cool.  Plus, it makes for interesting debates, er, conversations.
 
Now, if you are on some Tea Party mess, then NO we cannot hang.  In this case, I understand why homeboy left.  I envisioned homegirl as the type who has “cotton candy and unicorns” swirling around in her skull.  LOL
 
Oh yeah.  I did NOT envision her as a black woman.

Earthangel172 said...

In this instance, I wouldn't have discussed politics with someone I just met and am interested in. Hush mouth grace anyone?

I consider myself a moderate so anyone who is on the extreme left or right will not fit the bill as far as friendship or a relationship is concerned. (How can two walk together unless they agree, right?) However, I can see how it can be a deal breaker for some people. As for me, political affiliation is not a deal breaker as long as their views are balanced. I'm more concerned about a man's religious beliefs, character and a tiny list of other stuff.

The way I look at it is this; neither party deserves my allegiance so I try to vote for people who best represent what I believe in.  I have seen some black folks get riled up because of other blacks they knew who didn't vote for Obama. Where's the tolerance in that?! (And yes I did vote for Obama but not because he was black.)  FWIW, I encourage people to at least vote in local elections because they impact your life the most.

blackprofessor said...

I have personally never been in this situation.  Since I tend to work with mostly Republican (read white) individuals, I have surprisingly found common ground with some of my colleagues on some issues, especially if they hold moderate views.  Based on these interactions, I would date the person to see if their views are reasonable.

What is reasonable? As long as his views are not indicative of narrow-mindedness (side eye to the Tea Party) or intellectual laziness (side eye to Palin and Bachman) and he can explain his thought process and why he believes said views, I would give him a listen.

The real dealbreaker for me is someone who doesn't vote.  My family is originally from the deep South and was very active in the Civil Rights Movement.  There is no way on God's green earth, I would date a non-voter.  

Marioned said...

On the surface I would say that a person that did not share my political affliations/ beliefs is not a deal breaker.  If we had radically opposong positions, I suspect that we would not get along. It would depend on the conviction and passion in their beliefs and which ones.   I am a litte left of center so far right would be a stretch!

CaliGirlED said...

I almost deleted a friend because she was throwing shade at Obama. What saved her, she stopped discussing politics on her page. 

CaliGirlED said...

LOL!!!

Your Girl "C" said...

LOL, I had to wonder about those two again when I was watching the Mrs. on CNN last week tell Donna Brazile that Glenn Beck is not a racist and asked Donna if she saw the brilliant piece that Glenn did on the history of our African American founders.  Cool Donna looked like she was going to explode.  I can only imagine James' reaction to the crap that comes out of her mouth!

In answer to Chele's question, I could not date a political opposite.  Especially someone who thought a Perry/Bachman ticket would be a good thing.

Lady4Real said...

Shhh, don't tell nobody but I married a Republican, yep the current hubs is a republican. I vote democrat but I can't say it matters to me, I'm just not a political type of person so it doesn't bother me that he is a republican and I am a democrat. I am also a spiritual type of persons, the hubs is into science and scientific proof. I would clothe the needy and feed the hungry, he would sign the check that allows me to buy the supplies I need for they type of venture and as he signed and would mumble, 'they need to get a job, hustle something'. What can I say, me and the hubs are complete opposites but we even each other out and love each other to death so his differences don't bother me. I agree with you Chele, anyone who is "intolerant of any view dissimilar to his own" is someone I can't deal with, but he you can tolerate me, just as I tolerate you then we should get along just fine.

Int6 said...

I believe couples should be equally yoked in some key areas....SEX, politics, religion and money.

Just_A_Thought1218 said...

Differences are not a deal breaker. I've dated someone on the other side of the political spectrum from me, and it really wasn't an issue. The key was that we were both tolerant, respectful, willing to listen to each other, and willing to agree to disagree.

Now, I would not date someone who was close-minded and belligerent and unwilling to respect my views (or the views of others).

As for ol' girl, the whole Bachmann/Perry ticket would have offended me. Not because of the political stance, but because supporting those people indicates that the person refuses to think critically about the candidates they support and do not want the best people in office.  And I cannot get with that, because that is just stupid.

Rob said...

Amy is a bleeding heart liberal who would have gone to Woodstock naked with Make Love not War painted on her chest. I probably would have arrested her. I'm all over the place. Something's I'm far right, others I'm middle of the road, others I'm on the left. We agree on the important stuff, everything else is would makes us individuals.

He might have been a little hasty but then again - Bachmann/Perry?

ConvertingMe said...

This is one of the reasons my grandmother never let me discuss politics or religion with strangers.

I have dated my political opposite. It wasn't easy but we had epic debates that lasted hours on which party was better, the demise of the political structure, the concept of lobbying - why they should be banned or not, etc...anyhoo I don't think that it was so much her political affiliations that turned him off but rather her ignoring her common sense when examining the respective Republican candidates and choosing willingly! Bat Defecating Bachmann as her front runner.I have to give anyone who thinks Michelle Bachmann is sane the ultimate side searing side eye. 

thinklikeRiley said...

When we beefin' over who like ham better than bacon, it's all good cuz we still in the pork fam, ya dig?
But Obeezy vs. deez fools?
#cutpile

Miz JJ said...

I don't live in the US, but since I come from a liberal country and can't imagine dating a Republican, especially the current teabagger variety. Honestly I see them on TV and shudder. Those ideals are the opposite of my own values and I don't want that kind of strife in my home life.

CaliGirlED said...

Love is in the air!

bashowell said...

I DID delete someone who found me on FB from back in the day when they turned out to be a staunch Tea Party supporter.  Sorry, no deal, Howie.

OwenCinDallas said...

I like to say that G-Dub cured me of my Republicanism. I was a staunch Republican for years until someone gave Jr. control of Texas. Jayme is a progressive liberal. It makes for some heated debates here and there. We're grown enough to agree to disagree and keep it moving.

CaliGirlED said...

I'm definitely feeling Riley on this one. The political difference itself may not be a deal breaker, but when you're so into your side that you root for a complete idiot, I.can't. And I don't like long drawn out debates, so debating about parts of the pig is one thing, but putting pig up against cow, that's a whole other animal, so to speak.

BlackButterfly said...

"Colin Powell Republican is different from bat-ish crazy Michelle
Bachmann Republican.  Hell I've let go of friends over Tea Party
politics.  Where do YOU really want to take the country?"

THIS sums is up for me! 

CaliGirlED said...

 LOL!!!

BlackButterfly said...

I can't blame the guy for walking away.  There was nothing more to be said once she said that she believed that a Rick Perry/Michele "Blacks were better off during slavery" Bachmann would be a great ticket. 

My philosophy is that differences are fine but DIFFERENT is not and this ^ lady was DIFFERENT!  Oh but if you don't vote and talk noise about what's going on then you get no pass with me at all.

Pure Choco said...

It wouldn't be a deal breaker as long we were both open minded and respectful of each other's opinions

sol_dier said...

Like most things it depends. 
View detrimental to my soul, family, environment and greater populace at large? = Goodbye & goodluck

Applause to dude for walking away!.
I don't mind republican but Bachmann? seriously Bachman? we talking Bachmann here O_O

Somethings in life denote your critical thinking ability, this same ability which you will need continually in life and in relationships (When the going gets tough). She said Bachmann?.  

There isn't enough Love in the world to overcome a choice like that.

BlackButterfly said...

HA!  That is funny.  I was never a Republican but GW definitely cured me of the thought that muppets can't be elected as President.  Obama 2012!

sol_dier said...

THIS.
I stopped dating a guy because out of the blue homophobic slurs appeared. 
No Sir, I don't do hate. 

SingLikeSassy said...

No,  I can't date someone who doesn't vote when members of my family played a role in the civil rights movement and my mama, aunt and to some extent my Grandma (who turns 90 this month) have been out working on campaigns and knocking on doors in the backwoods of North Carolina registering people to vote.

I don't know that anybody's politics line up exactly, but on some fundamental issues we would need to be like-minded, I think.

As for this fella, I can see him thinking that if their politics differ (and sounds like hers are fringe) they may have dissimilar world views and therefore not be a good match.

sol_dier said...

FTW!
Dear God!. I get Riley. sips tea.... is that air I'm breathing lol

DCbywayofCali said...

That list should probably start with money.  Lack of money leads to no sex which leads to someone losing their religion and heading towards divorce. lol

Only1DivaC said...

Yes, I would date someone with different political beliefs than me. What I won't date is someone who is intolerant of other people's opinions and views. This is a red flag on other things that person is too dogmatic about in his life. Honestly, I'm all over the place with my politics. On some things I swing left, other things I swing right, and on other things I swing in the middle of the road. I will say that ole dude was kinda harsh in disappearing on her. It would have been a perfect opportunity to see if she was one of those intolerant people.

Mykeia said...

Politics = touchy subject
I am not sure of where I stand on this one...the spouse and I are pretty much on the same page...however, if he voted that we would now have to pump our own gas we would have a HUGE problem.  Everything else can be worked out, differences make relationships interesting.

MichelleG said...

Her support of a Bachman/Perry ticket tells me she IS intolerant (and a whole heap of other adjectives). I APPLAUD him for walking away. When people show you who they are believe them.

C Nelson said...

My political leanings are strongly tied to my core values.  For example, I think that people who work a 40-hour week should get paid a living wage; people should be free to marry another consenting adult whatever their genders; women should always have the right to decide whether to remain pregnant; no-one should ever have to choose between buying food and seeing a doctor/buying medicine; and children should be guaranteed an adequate basic education. If you agree on those but disagree on how to go about getting there, we can find middle ground. If you don't agree on those core things, though -- you think we should do away with minimum wage to end unemployment, for instance, because $3/hr is just fine for those people, or you think a pharmacist should be able to block a woman from getting her prescription filled based on what the pharmacist thinks God wants -- we don't have much to work with. Doesn't mean I don't find you interesting -- hey, we can probably still have a few heated sessions even -- but we're not going anywhere serious and I hope you don't mind if I don't want my friends to find out, either. A house divided cannot stand, and I want and deserve a partner who will work with me for the things we both believe in.

MichelleG said...

Political affiliations matter if its representative of your moral code. I don't do indifference or intolerance to immigrants, gays, children etc. In this instance that announcement would have been an instant panty dryer. Bachmann/Perry indeed. I have to give a standing ovation to ol boy for walking away. There are many that would have started the reindeer games just to have some cocoa and pretend a year later not to know why he was never really into her. She may be pretty but clearly some critical thinking skills are lacking & I don't do sheep.

Anyone that doesn't vote should not be allowed to speak. You are either part of the solution or part of the problem. Sitting on the sidelines pointing at everyone's faults keeps us stagnant & you unaccountable for anything. Telling me you don't vote means you don't exist to me. 

People can claim kumbaya and say politics shouldn't matter but I'll be damned if I'm exchanging cocoa with someone who is actively encouraging ideals & positions that are offensive to my soul. Skip the BS "ooh I like pizza too" and lets get to the real 20 questions to determine if you are worth my time. I'm over 35 with a finite number of eggs left - whats really real son?

MichelleG said...

^this right here (because a like was not enough)!

maureen palmer said...

I wish folks would vote on issue lines. I'm a fiscal conservative and  liberal on most issues.

Brownbelle said...

If politics are important to you, then definitely! I was politically conscious from a very young age, and while neither party is immaculate, Republicans have been diametrically opposed to my views on the major issues (health care reform, education, funding for social welfare programs, abortion, gay marriage). So no, I could not date someone who was a Republican because, since those issues are so important to me, it would be an instant turn off. My fiance doesn't care nearly as much about politics as I do, but he leans Democrat so I can work with that. I also have several conservative friends, and that's cool too. But to get into a romantic, intimate relationship with a Republican? Couldn't do it, and I don't want to try. I've donated to both Obama campaigns, I've interned at Planned Parenthood, I'm on the ACLU and NAACP mailing lists, I've volunteered with the Anti-Defamation League...it wouldn't work. 

lawsoncomp said...

Oh Boy. Before I tuck into the comments, I will say this: I can't with a conservative.  A republican (fiscal not social)? Maybe. The personal IS political. 

I also have a big problem with those who do not vote. When you don't, it's like you spit on the graves of your ancestors. That goes for whoever you are, especially women and people who are not considered white.

lawsoncomp said...

Yeah, a lefty and I may have a hard time too. I am at heart a pragmatist.  This is what causes the president so much grief. He refuses to be locked into an ideology. I appreciate this approach and will without hesitation vote for him again.

Jubilance said...

I don't know the motivations of everyone else who wanted to know, but I was curious as to her race because I don't understand Black people who support candidates who have the opposite of their interests in mind when pursuing legislation. Actually, I don't understand how ANYONE can support these candidates who are so counter to what is best for the average American, no matter their race. After I read "What's The Matter With Kansas?" I really started to understand this concept & how someone conservatives have bamboozled folks into voting against their best interests...

And now I'm on a tangent...sorry Chele!

ShawnSoze said...

At first thought, I would say that politics wouldn't enter into my evaluation criteria (see Dr. Jayme, I'm learning!) but in this case, that disparity hints at a larger divide of overall values and critical thinking. In 2 cent words: I can't.

On a related note - I need an opportunity to like you before you start giving me reasons not to.

Alonda Lord said...

"Anyone that doesn't vote should not be allowed to speak."  ---- this is truth!

Only1DivaC said...

"I need an opportunity to like you before you start giving me reasons not to."

Let the church say AMEN!

Only1DivaC said...

I hear you but I didn't read that in the post that she was automatically intolerant. She just mentioned that she wanted a Bachmann/Perry ticket. At least that's what I read but hey I wasn't there so I'm just making an assumption. I just found it harsh that he walked away after she said that but maybe that is his deal breaker so to each its own.

OneChele said...

For the record, she was some sort of blend. If I had to guess I would say Black and Latin American.

md_KG said...

"but in this case, that disparity hints at a larger divide of overall values and critical thinking. In 2 cent words: I can't.

This just about sums it up really.

William Martin said...

Pastor Soze - that's a good word today.

rozb said...

Different political viewpoints make for interesting discussions. The only time it's a deal-breaker is when those views cause someone to be intolerant of others and will disrespect the rights of others to believe any different.

But on this...a Bachmann/Perry ticket?!?!?! She must be eating a PCP sundae with LSD sprinkles on top. o_O

md_KG said...

I was just about to ask the "why do (black) people support politicians who don't have their interests at heart?" question as well but you've gone far and beyond the call of duty so I'ma just sit back here and salute you. 

William Martin said...

This is my ethnic blend as well and no excuse for cray-cray. Perry/Bachman? IJS

AndreaPlaid said...

As much as I want to say that I find the whole "personal is political" ethos limiting, I aslo can't lie to myself: I couldn't find myself seriously dating or even sexing up a Tea Party loving Republican.  (A Colin Powell-thinking GOPer? Maaaaaybe. We may meet for coffee and shake hands.) 

A person's politics isn't just about who a person votes for or against, it also signals one's worldview and ethical beliefs, whether or not one actually acts those out in one's life. It says something about what one believes about people deserving fair wages, bodily autonomy, gender equality, sexual liberation, information access, access to education, racial "downness" (note how some people in the comments are questioning if the young woman in the story is Black or subtly saying she hates herself (meaning her Blackness) because she likes Bachmann)...heck, even access to food, both in the States and worldwide.  That's why political affiliation tends to be a dealbreaker for some people. 
As for someone not voting...that's like telling me you don't read. And my telling you good luck finding someone else who's as aliterate as you are. #NoCountryForNonvoters #NoCountryForNonreaders

AndreaPlaid said...

"I was never a Republican but GW definitely cured me of the thought that muppets can't be elected as President."

Y'all in Bougieland...I swear fo' God....ROTFLMAO!

Angel Blanca said...

**crickets** Bless her heart. To each his own, I guess?

In my world, I might say this after the earth opened a hole and swallowed such a person, but I'm working on being more open-minded about those who put ideology above working in the interests of themselves and others (i.e., common sense).

*goes to ponder prayer for understanding*

Angel Blanca said...

While not comparable to a dating relationship, I have cut loose a number of former students, who were unable/unwilling to explore and understand alternative public policy perspectives.  It was a particularly challenging decision because I had taught classes on the intersection of faith and public policy for five years (10 wonderful semesters), and a hallmark of our courses was being able to engage in double vision--the ability to put oneself in the perspective of "the other," and to articulate their perspective in a manner that was consistent with how "the other" would articulate their perspective (that is, without biases or our own presuppositions).

Having maintained relationships with more than 400 former students, it was disheartening to see how many forgot those lessons and/or refused to engage life and public policy matters from that perspective.  After all, I taught as I did because it's a way to approach life and public policy issues in a manner that assumes that others have the best interests of all parties at heart.  It took me two and one half years to make the agonizing decision to let these students go, but when I did, I felt lighter, freer, and more willing to continue trying to understand alternative perspectives from my own.

While I could date someone whose political party differed from my own, because of these experiences, I would not be able to have a relationship with anyone who could not engage from this same understanding I taught, because it would distress me emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically.

La said...

Could I date a repub? Yes. Could I date anyone who thought a Bachmann/Perry ticket was anything less than one of the four horseman of the apocalypse? Absolutely not. lol
I don’t necessarily care about someone’s personal politics (though I tend to care a bit more when it comes to social issues), but rather about how they live those politics. I am all for you being open, honest, and vocal about what you believe. But don’t think for a SECOND that you are going to use our varying views to convince, cajole or connive me into coming over to your side. Or, even worse, as ammunition to be condescending or holier than thou. If we can’t at least agree to disagree, and my beliefs can’t be respected as I try to do for others, we’re doomed anyway. I find that sort of disrespect and rigidity is usually indicative of a larger personality flaw that I just can’t deal with.
I can easily see it becoming an issue for the other person, as a great number of people in my life are gay, believe wholeheartedly in abortion, and even spend their days advocating for social programs. But I wouldn’t automatically strike them from the running.
Unless of course they were so extreme in their beliefs that they thought Michelle Bachmann was anything other than amazing Onion fodder. lol

Singlelif said...

She probably stopped after watching her friends list deplete itself.  Kudos to her for recognizing her problem.

Singlelif said...

I'd take it all they way back to MySpace..with no space for him...

Singlelif said...

But was the maid a Republican ?

MsJamie14 said...

Was she even documented?

I'll let myself out...lol

Singlelif said...

"A house divided cannot stand, and I want and deserve a partner who will work with me for the things we both believe in."

*This is it !

La said...

Though she didn't come right out and say she's intolerant, I think her support of these 2 people is telling. You're talking about 2 politicians who between the two of them support, in no particular order; outlawing abortion even in cases of rape or incest, the whitewashing of history books to downplay slavery and civil rights, not just outlawing gay marriage, but making homosexuality illegal, the imprisonment and deportation of immigrants, slackened gun control laws, rolling back federal income tax, restricting access to healthcare, specifically to children, disbanding all government sectors dealing with the environment and, oh, and Perry advocated having TX secede from the union.

None of that sounds particularly tolerant. And if someone was an ardent supporter, I think it's fair to assume they support those views.

David Chase said...

I don't need someone who thinks like me but I do need them to get how I think. If that makes sense.

#NoCountryforBachmannPerryLove

Earthangel172 said...

Amen!

MichelleG said...

I wasn't there either but if you aren't aware of the stances that Bachmann and Perry have both advocated La has listed just a few that TO ME are intolerable. Outside of  "smile you're on Candid Camera" there is nothing to be gained by continuing a conversation with her.

Annette Evans said...

Of all the things that could cause problems in a relationship, Politics is right up there with Religion. Possible deal breaker, especially if the parties involved cannot check their affiliations at the door.  But, all in all, if you really love/like the person, it is worth it to make the effort; look at Maria and Arnold...oops, really bad example...

"backs out the door and runs to the car before getting hit in the back with a big juicy tomato being lobbed in my direction..."

CorettaJG said...

I definitely agree that it can be a major deal breaker much like religion.  It's a statement of values, mores and good sense.  And if you can't disagree without being disagreeable, it's a no go.  But some couples make it work.  Look at the Carville's. 

Perhaps it depends on how passionate one is about one's politics, or religion.  In couples that have different religions, I often find that one person is not really very passionate or practicing.

CaliGirlED said...

 LOL!!!

Sasha Iman said...

"I was curious as to her race because I don't understand Black people
who support candidates who have the opposite of their interests in mind
when pursuing legislation."

I too wondered if she was black because of what you mentioned, it's just interesting because I didn't expect so many to ask because when the situation is reversed, such questions are rarely raised.

If a couple is mentioned on a black blog with no race given, and the man in question is noted as saying or doing something questionable for a black person, like saying he's a Tea Partier or Bachmann/Limbaugh/etc. fan, his race is not usually questioned.... it's just assumed he's black and has an "interesting" worldview.

CorettaJG said...

Do we get a guest "When love goes right" post from the newlyweds?  Wedding pics please!  And of the gorgeous rose hued ring.

Brenda Kay said...

I recently met a new ninja who I thought there was some potential with. But when the conversation about politics came up, I had to give him the hard side eye, when told me that he only voted for President Obama in 2008 because he was Black. *8-l* But what really sealed his fate with me was his comment that he was pushing for a Herman Cain/Michele Bachmann ticket, as Cain has business experience and would bring jobs back to America *double 8-l* and Bachmann would seal up the female vote *triple 8-l*. In an instant, he was persona non grata with me. 

Instant turn offs - ultra right or left wing ideologues, Ron Paul supporters, anyone who gathers all their talking points from TV or talk back radio. But worse of all, if a person doesn't vote, don't even bother telling me your name, just keep it moving.

CaliGirlED said...

"I need an opportunity to like you before you start giving me reasons not to. " This right here!...And if the latter comes first, then I'm good. Just like that!

CaliGirlED said...

"She must be eating a PCP sundae with LSD sprinkles on top."...Whew, for a minute there I thought, since you weren't working right now, you had become sane! Glad to see that's not true! LMAO!!!

CaliGirlED said...

T-shirt?

Only1DivaC said...

It still sits uneasy with me but hey like I said before to each its own on this subject. He did what he thought was appropriate in that situation. 

I'm with Chele though it was the wrong conversation to have after just saying hello.  

GrownAzzMan said...

"Read: "Bachmann/Perry would be a great ticket." 

Immediately realized this story was made up.

Nice post Chele, but uhm.... "You Lie!" (no Joe Wilson). 

**DEAD**

md_KG said...

Even if she (as a person) isn't intolerant in the everyday things (so to speak) or other people's views/opinions, the very fact that she supports a Bachmann/Perry ticket is more than enough reason to give her a wide berth and question her world view.

GrownAzzMan said...

"I need an opportunity to like you before you start giving me reasons not to."

And with that, the doors of the church are now open. Is there one?

GrownAzzMan said...

Say it with me Bougieland, Herman Cain?????????????????????????????? What fresh hell? Good you found out when you did.

rozb said...

Being ill-informed is almost as bad as being straight-up ig'nant, especially when you aren't willing to get educated or admit there may be some logic flaws. I am even willing to listen and consider other points of view. And I vote. Every. Time.

rozb said...

So not feeling the gospel-singing pizza man.

rozb said...

Girl - still me up in here!

blackprofessor said...

That sounds about right to me!!

blackprofessor said...

Dead just dead!

blackprofessor said...

I second the request!!

Suebhoney1125 said...

I agree. I have a problem and would have a problem dating someone who does not vote.  My Aunt  still carry the dog  bite marks, from marching for the right to vote in AL.   So I make sure that I vote each and every time.  Sometimes I may not like either candidate (which is alot of the reasons people claim is the reason that they don't/won't vote) .  So sorry to say sometimes may I vote for the " lesser of two evils".   My dad (rest his soul) always told me "the devil you know is better than the devil you don't".

Hidi said...

"What I won't date is someone who is intolerant of other people's opinions and views."---Exactly. This would be a deal-breaker for me.

Earthangel172 said...

Instant turn offs - ultra right or left wing ideologues, Ron Paul
supporters, anyone who gathers all their talking points from TV or talk
back radio. But worse of all, if a person doesn't vote, don't even
bother telling me your name, just keep it moving.

^^^all.of.this.

tiffanyinhouston said...

BougieLand, I ask you - could you date someone who didn't share your political affiliations/beliefs? Probably not, we don't need to in be lockstep but we need to be in the ballpark of agreement. And if you don't vote at all, I'll holla.

Earthangel172 said...

LMBO!

Mykeia said...

Girrrrrlllll, I get beyond annoyed when people don't vote for local issues!  It's like, "Uh, hello, you could have voted for that so-and-so strip club not to be next to the middle school, it was ballot measure 15-1!"--Yes this is a real issue from my city.  

Simplyhidi said...

"The way I look at it is this; neither party deserves my allegiance so I
try to vote for people who best represent what I believe in."---Yep.

"I encourage people to at least vote in local elections because they impact your life the most."--- I agree. Sometimes I feel this is often over looked.

Hidi said...

Could you date someone who didn't share your
political affiliations/beliefs? Yes, I could see myself dating someone who didn’t
share my beliefs. (I’m an independent.)


 


Who radically opposed them? No, because this means
he is too far gone.


 


Is that something you can overlook for the good of
the relationship? Yes, if he is not a radical and respects my beliefs.


 


A guy once told me he couldn't date a woman who
didn't vote - what do you think about that?


If the guy I’m dating tells me, “I don’t vote”,
then I would politely ask his reasons for choosing not to vote. Frankly, voting
is a personal choice and no one’s business; the world will continue to turn on
its axis. I vote for only one reason to
exercise my right; people died for it. In other words, if the people I vote
for do not win, then I will continue to sleep well at night because I tried my
best. <--- This matters more to me than the tally of votes.


 


Should politics be on your relationship deal
breaker list? A radical would be on my relationship deal breaker list. LOL! I
never been a fan of the political parties but I do support causes and would be
more interested in his views on them.

Hidi said...

I apologize; I don't know what in the hell happen to my post. LOL...Arrgh....

C Nelson said...

You have to admit, it takes a special kind of self-delusion or self-hatred to champion the cause of someone who thinks you (generic you) and people who look like you were better off in the days when you would have been some white person's property. Even with full context, which is that she deplores children being born out of wedlock or into single-parent homes, the days of chattel slavery saw plenty of broken families too. Bachmann doesn't care about that part or didn't care enough to learn that in the first place, so how is this woman an acceptable representative in any black person's mind?

AndreaPlaid said...

Sorry, I'm not going to yank the woman's Black Card because she likes Bachmann. I may call her choice utterly foolish because she supports a candidate who holds revisionist ideas about US slavery--may even give her Colin Powell's autobiography to read--but I'm not going to question her Blackness because of it. If nothing else, I'd simply walk away from her, as the young man did. 

C Nelson said...

I didn't say yank it (and, to the best of my knowledge, no-one else did either.)  I said it takes self-delusion or self-hatred to both be black and choose Bachmann to represent you. It doesn't make her not black -- people do all sorts of boneheaded, internally-inconsistent, illogical things; that's part of being human. It does make her an especially  troubled black woman, though, and one who might want to take a long hard look at the scripts she's running on.

sol_dier said...

my sentiments exactly

sol_dier said...

Too much publicity, that presidential ticket doesn't deserve even negative attention

Brenda Kay said...

Love the new profile photo Tiffany. Beautiful! 

AndreaPlaid said...

You have to admit, you don't have to explicitly say anything to say something. This is how a co-writer and I defined "yanking one's Black card" in a blog post:

"Revocation of said Black Card™ may result in the former holder being subjected to the following treatment by any Black Card™ carrier: public side-eye, regular authenticity-questioning, and an embarrassingly frosty reception at the NAACP Image Awards."

Now, go back and re-read some of the comments. Some people in this thread started asking if the young woman is Black or, at the very least, questioned her Blackness because she supports Bachmann. By the definition I presented that *is* yanking someone's Black card, though no one *said* as such. And, since I don't hold a degree in psychiatry, I'm not going to analyze the woman's mental state--calling her "self-deluded" or "self-hating" because she's Black and a Bachmann supporter. (I'll leave such work to Dr. Jayme.:-D) The young woman may love Black people unconditionally and her own Blackness and she may adamantly disagree with Bachmann's racist ideas but agree with other parts of her platform--we're assuming that the young woman is an all-the-talking-points supporter of Bachmann, which, in some of our minds means the young woman agrees with Bachmann's racism. I'd would say that, considering what the GOP and the Tea Party stands for on many issues I care about--not just race--I'd walk away from the young woman. But I'm not going to question her racial "downness" solely on that. I'd simply say we'd are not politically simpatico and leave it--and her--at that.
But I also think that our exchange proves your and my original points, which we do agree on: who you vote for, what you profess politically, does signal a worldview and ethics. And we do give people social consideration, like how close we want to be to this person (as friends, cocoa-stirrer, partner/spouse), based on those politics.  

tiffanyinhouston said...

Thank you Brenda Kay!

Sasha Iman said...

Read: "Bachmann/Perry would be a great ticket."

Immediately realized this story was made up.

Nice post Chele, but uhm.... "You Lie!" (no Joe Wilson).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Could you date someone who didn't share your political affiliations/beliefs? Yes
Who radically opposed them? no, No, NO. I don't do radical.
Is that something you can overlook for the good of the relationship? There would be no relationship to begin with.
A guy once told me he couldn't date a woman who didn't vote - what do you think about that? Give me a REALLY good reason for you're lack of participation in matters that concern the country you live in.... and MAYBE I can let it slide.
Should politics be on your relationship deal breaker list? The floor is yours. If you're firmly one way or the other, then I think politics should matter. It being a deal breaker would depend on your love of debate.

Fun Fact: The GOP was founded by anti-slavery expansion activists and it was the Democrats who were all gung-ho about not only continuing it, but allowing it in other states. My how times have changed.

One Chele said...

Knowing the double standards when it comes to interracial dating, I find the "Is she black?" comments interesting...... doesn't mean I don't want to know if this woman hates herself as well.

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