Thursday, September 29, 2011

A minor rant: Black Men - I got your new hu$tle right here


Brothers, bro-hams, ninjas & bruhs... pull up a chair. Economy keeping you down? Not getting any love from The Man? Need a brand new hustle to take you to higher ground? I got it right here, fellas. This is the truth. Guar-an-teed to have you rolling, big pimpin', ballerific in no time flat.

[cue the music - Here comes the brand new flava in ya ear...] You ready? Want to hear it... let's start with the prerequisites:

First and foremost, you don't need any damn credentials. Nan one. All you have to be is black & male. Degree? What? Naw, son. That's just paper. This hustle right here is beyond that old school nonsense. 

Secondly, you don't have to look like much. Or anything. We can get you a tight fade, a shiny suit and a half-decent smile - you'll be alright. 

Thirdly, your ideas don't have to be based in fact. You can make this ish up as you go. Even flip flop it later if that's the way the money flow. You don't have to be consistent or anything. 

Alas, you do have to be a hustler. If you ain't about stepping over others; trampling folks, facts and feelings as you head up - this may not be for you.

Did you pass those four? Still in possession of a penis? Yes? Than you are ready to get it in. Yessir, with what you have learned thus far... you too can be...


A Relationship Expert!!! [cue the music - All I do is win, win, win no matter what...]

Here's what you do next -
1. Get you a Twitter account. Come up with a snappy name like @AllBoutDaLadeez or @GirlGetAMan - you will have 10,000 followers in no time. I mean by tomorrow, son! 
2. Decide what you want in a woman. Doesn't matter if it makes sense. Six foot two, 108 pounds, can look Brazilian with right lighting, only wears BeBe and Steve Madden, cooks authentic Mandarin cuisine from scratch - whatever, that's perfect! Just write up a list on a napkin or a paper plate you borrowed from Big Momma. That's fine. Memorize your list though, you'll need to repeat these often. Call it something clever like "The Man-Catching Manifesto" - the title has got to sizzle. 
3. Now this is important. You need to publish your Manifesto. Website, hardcopy, e-book, FaceBook, all of that. Hold seminars where you charge 26x what is reasonable. See if Nightline will have you on. Maybe BET or VH1 will give you a reality show! 
4. Now tweet the revolution, baby! You are roll-ing! Stand up, tell women how they can get them a good man just. like. you. Be sure to emphasize every thing they are doing wrong as a gender and a race collectively. This is not about individuals. No. Groupthink is what we need here. And if you can find a way to throw in some accusatory shame & blame? Even better. "Girl, you too educated to get a man." "Girl, you need to loose 30 pounds and smile more to get a man". See where I'm going with that?
5. Believe in yo' product. This shiggity will sell! I'm telling you. As long as you present this with some authority and speak on it like you mean it, you are about to Get. Paid. Son! I'm talking Steve Harvey dollar$ here, man!
Now get on out there and talk to women like they are thirsty desert-wanderers and your words are the only oasis in 300 miles. You can do it, I know you can. Oh, can I get a cut of the proceeds? I'm a single black woman, I need every dime I can get. :-/

BougieLand, who has had it UP TO HERE with all these New Jack Relationship Experts? I know I have.

113 comments:

thinklikeRiley said...

#ShadeThrown #MuchShadeHurled
But while you on da fellas for sellin' this shiggity, please get on da girls for buying it.
#PleaseandThanks

Alvin Milton said...

You just gave away my whole game plan!

But how I was gonna flip it, I was going to purport that I knew better than most because I listened to big band jazz, read DuBois/Hughes/etc over and over and drink red wine. 

The uppity relationship expert if you will...

blackprofessor said...

Dead at "uppity!"

OneChele said...

You'll be needing an ascot and a smoking jacket. A leather armchair and a wood-paneled room from which to speak your Manifesto. Make sure Miles and Monk are on repeat in the background. You are SET!

Bonita Applebum said...

Don't forget - they also need to invest in some 3 piece Easter suits in all the colors of the rainbow. Can't forget that.  Because a man wearing a brunt orange suit with 42 buttons CLEARLY knows what he's talking about. Mmm hmm.

Alvin Milton said...

I f.u.x. with Monk. 
Till u lil ninjas get up on some Monk, you will always be single and insignificant. There it is.

blackprofessor said...

Chele, I am right with you! I am sick of the armchair therapists or faux researchers who think they have the answer to the relationship problem.  Is your name John Gottman? No, then show me some credentials or evidence that demonstrates you know what you are talking about.

taut_7 said...

#iDied hilarious. i know of whom you speak even though you didn't mention his name. a couple of my followers were going in on him last night. 

MsJamie14 said...

LMAO.

I'm really not "into" Twitter, but I notice it' s breeding ground for posers. Seems like folks can reinvent themselves and attempt to get away with much more than they could in any other medium.

sunt97 said...

You had me dying over here because I see a bunch of these.  Matter fact I think I know someone who actually has done it.  And their profile picture is of a woman's butt next to their smiling face, while they are holding a was of ones.

Peace, Love and Chocolate,
Tiffany

Grace said...

*tries to raise hand but is sprawled out on the floor laughing so hard and hoping not to pee pants*
Oh Lord... I'm too through. I just...
*falls back out*

Only1DivaC said...

Ok, after picking myself up off the floor and wiping the tears from my eyes. I still can't breathe!
Chele, I'm there with you on this subject matter. The most frustrating thing is some women still continue to buy this stuff!

michaeldavis said...

THIS

Only1DivaC said...

You are so wrong for the Easter suits. Don't forget the alligator shoes and matching hats!

Jason P said...

Okay, okay - I see where you headed, ma. I'm going call myself  Salvation-For-The-Sisters and do all of my speechifying shirtless by the beach. I don't have any original thoughts, I'll just grab some from Steve, Hill, Jimi and dem. Woo boy, I'm about to blow up!!!

BWAHAHA!

Jeannette said...

You nailed it "twitter is a breeding ground for posers" Posers in every walk of life from Health & Fitness "gurus" to social media "experts" .  A bunch of jack n jill of all trades and a master/mistress of nare none.

michaeldavis said...

I'm really good at Photoshop...so whomever writes the next book I can give you a six-pack and cut shoulders for the book cover and twitter avi for a reasonable price.

Reads4Pleasure said...

I agree with Riley.  Men keep writing crap like this because they know there are enough women gullible enough, whose self-esteem has been beaten down long enough, to buy into these self-proclaimed relationship gurus.  With all that the media, TV, music, etc. throws at women, it's no wonder that a lot of us think we need to do this, that or the other to attract/keep a man/woman (oops, no one writes books telling lesbians how to get women, huh? further proving that these self-help gurus are really only concerned about getting money & into the drawls themselves).

Interestingly, I had an author ask me to read a synopsis of her book and asked how I thought she could best market it.  I had to tell her there was no way to market it because very few people would buy it.  A book written by a woman telling men how to determine if the woman he was dating was the right one? Pish! Men don't seek the same kind of validation as women and they sure as hell aren't going to read a book from a random woman telling them how to pick a wife.

BlackButterfly said...

This was hilarious.  If only there were enough cans of raid to exterminate all of those roaches.

Pure Choco said...

I picked up Steve Harvey's first book expecting a revelation. I sounded like he strung 17 hallmark cards together, added some jokes and said - bet some suckers will buy this.  Lesson learned.

Mr. Skyywalker said...

Also add that apparently, your own relationship house does not have to be in order to gives others advice. Kind of a relationship "Do as I say, not as I do" type thing

Jeannette said...

I'll provide the audio book soundtrack for the fellas **cues "This Woman's Work** lol

Jeannette said...

You gotta hold a yellow rose in your mouth with your hands behind your back looking up in the sky like you are extra sensitive.

Sol_dier said...

there will always be vulnerable people in the world, it doesn't mean that we then further compound their vulnerability and humiliation by blaming them for being taken advantage of.

Black women are being verbally assaulted by the media 24-7 and damn near harassed in their communities and then abused at work.. and still we have to rise. There is little respite and no soothing balm from those who we expect to honour and hold us down.  

Why pour blame on those who are being victimised? and who are falling under one of the most savage attacks on emotional psyche?

SingLikeSassy said...

Since someone referenced him below, I just want to note that Jimi Izrael is remarried. And I've seen him with his wife. He treats her like she's a precious jewel.

As for this post, the need for love is both a great and a terrible thing and wherever there is a weakness or unfulfilled need, someone will find a way to capitalize on it.

Cheris Hodges said...

I just asked on Twitter, how many of these relationship experts have had successful relationships with black men?
I'll wait for their responses. 

Reads4Pleasure said...

I'm sorry if you read what I wrote as an attack on the vulnerable, it wasn't that at all.  In fact, I pointed out that thanks to the barrage of attacks from media, TV, etc., women find themselves more vulnerable.  The men that write these books and give advice are taking advantage of that.

SingLikeSassy said...

Right up til 'Round Midnight homie.

Mr. Skyywalker said...

Get you a Vodka sponsor and you are all in.

Natasha Hunter said...

Don't forget to sponsor your own singles cruise! Learn all about your future Mr. or Mrs. over unlimited Bahama Mama's and limbo contests o_O

Sol_dier said...

Years ago I was bothered. Then I was ashamed  behalf of these maggots out there writing these idiotic books, then I realised. Their shame is not mine.

Now I laugh, point a finger and move on. They seem ridiculous and pretty weak to me.
If you have to get over on people by making them feel small, then do you, but get out of my way. 

Why for you to increase, I must decrease?
GTFOH 

bashowell said...

Ah judging by what I've seen on Twitter I can guess who the latest expert is.  Smh.  But *dead* @ the music cues. 

Angela said...

Actually, I'm exhausted.  However, I'm even further drained and saddened by the women who believe everything they read by anyone who has a platform and will defend them to the death (yours that is) if you contradict the TRUTH. No country for thinking folks.

Sol_dier said...

oh no, I didn't think you were doing the attacking, I was trying to add further to your point.

Sorry that it didn't read that way. 

Sol_dier said...

How many marriages does is that now? 3? 4?
That man is a sexist, chauvinistic pig (apologies to pigs out there). And this thing calls himself and 'alpha man'. lol.. I laugh till iDie.

Of course he treats her like a jewel, he finally trampled on enough women to reach a place where he could score a higher placed woman. he is a joke and a disgusting one at that.

Wasn't he the fool who said black women shouldn't fool themselves by wanting to be like Michelle Obama?.
Didn't he go ape dodo at the very idea that Michele Obama's mother was going to live at the white house? 

Dude is hilarious! and only in this day and age would this pimp wanna be get an audience

Bonita Applebum said...

In all honesty, everything you need to know about getting & maintaing a successful relationship isn't even a books worth of knowledge. It's pocket sized material. But...maybe that's just me... *shrugs*

SingLikeSassy said...

Oh, I'm not defending him, just sharing facts.

Ivory Tabb said...

The best one is the link that I saw for an expert who is offering virtual classes. You can take them any where for only $99. Lesson 2 is based on appearance and the coach who is a man is going to teach woman how to perfect their appearance to successfully attract other men! 
Wow such a great concept and tool! Anybody interested in the link?

Andrea M said...

He said he was going to teach how to "Walk like a Single Woman" - I need lessons for that?

Andrea M said...

How epic were those!?

Andrea M said...

Right!

ShawnSoze said...

Thank you, Chele. I can leave this corporate hustle behind. Let me start on the first draft of "Baby You Can Bag a Baller if You Back That Thing Up and Bacon-Wrap it!"

GuessImJay said...

I'm skipping the book and going straight to the movies. "Bounce it Like Beyonce if you want a Seven-Figga N***a Like Jigga"

GrownAzzMan said...

Riley made my point for me. If peeps stop buying they will have to sell something else. Anyone ever wonder why there is no market for the get-you-a-woman hustle?

GrownAzzMan said...

"The most frustrating thing is some women still continue to buy this stuff!"

We are anazed and amused about this.

Cocoa Winston said...

As you say... Le Deep Damn Sigh...

William Martin said...

EPIC. RANT.

William Martin said...

Let me get in on the ground floor of the Bacon-Wrapped Booty franchise. #win

Carolyn Edgar said...

America's Next Top Black Relationship Guru should refer to black women as "Queens" and be photographed eating peaches. Often. Preferably licking the stone inside. Because you know what that means *cues Peaches 'n Cream*

Sasha in Stilettos said...

You knew the minute corner boyz started writing "urban fiction" that the book hu$tle was hot in da skreetz

ConvertingMe said...

This post made me go find a clean hanky cause I was weeping my dirty little soul out!

Every time I hear of a 'new' relationship "guru" I think *boo, hiss, hurl projectiles*

Just because you are a man doesn't mean you speak for every man - there is no male equivalent of Oprah {cue Chaka's I'm Every Woman}  to teach men self empowerment, character building, etc. So these men/gurus are looking to capitalize on the fact that women from years of Oprah, etc are primed for a learning experience/spiritual growth and are seeking ways to learn and grow. 

ConvertingMe said...

Please stop calling out my Uncles!

Man's World said...

Penis - check
Pencil - check
Paper Plate - check
All I need is Twitter and a website and it's grand hustle homie!

Shah said...

So on point ... you'd think this hustle would be old by now but they keep slithering out of their holes with this crap ...

MochaMuffin said...

I was in B&N with a friend of mine the other day and she had her arms full of this crap. I called her on it - You've read 10 of those and you still have no man - maybe it's time to use your own damn common sense?!
Know what she said?
"You're right - you should write a book"
I'm done.

Jeannette said...

**sprays champagne damon dash style** lol

Earthangel172 said...

#dead

Earthangel172 said...

Hmmm...

Sounds like you're describing a self-proclaimed, unemployed, single, cruise planning,  "relationship expert" straight out of Houston.  Runs like hell out of this post -------------------------------------->

KEVIN said...

^^^^
What he said. The market demand is the problem. 

JohnKinPDX said...

Ooo-Wee Ms. Carolyn! Subliminal much? Ha!
But hey, if we're going there. Why not have Peaches look for the next "Herb"? It could be a combination relationship/singing competition.

JohnKinPDX said...

Hi I'm John and when my previous relationship went kaboom, I tried to read some relationship-y, self-helpy books that made me feel homicidal. No more of that. Ever.

Leo the Yardie Chick said...

At least you'd make some money off of her. :D

Brittany Geneva said...

Wow I love this!!!! #shotsfired lol

Leo the Yardie Chick said...

I swear....if my mother didn't raise me right, I'd be rolling in dough by doing two things - being an e-mail scammer, and a relationship expert.

ccb296 said...

Ok but are those clowns wrong for selling it, or are their supporters wrong for buying it?

DCbywayofCali said...

There's one round here that doesn't look pimpish, and is married, but has zero credentials to be a relationship expert.  He's been in major publications that are supposed to uplift black women.

About 4 years ago he was supposedly an education expert and some of his funders are still pissed. 

MichelleG said...

Some days its very tempting to look for some Nigerian cousins to handle the winnings of my over seas lotto jackpot that I'm giving away to worthy Americans if you only pay $150 banking fees. My dearest Uncle would have wanted it that way LOL!

michaeldavis said...

Look what I found....  it's a movie but the title though :/


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3wwQHVIa-w

blackprofessor said...

You so wrong for this, lol!!

MichelleG said...

Thee is no market because its a numbers game favoring men & its getting worse. Girls in middle schools are now fighting over boys like they're the last piece of chicken. At this point even crackheads have a better chance of finding a yokeable mate than I do. Don't believe me? When's the last time you saw a single crackhead woman? She doesn't go to an afterwork mixer to find 10 other crackheads fighting over one barely suitable prospect.  Her friends don't tell her she's too (fill in the blank)? Shoot - I think I just found me my new relationship expert spin!

SA said...

Wait, this is a real movie? Seriously?

GuessImJay, best get a move on that movie deal. Like yesterday.

CaliGirlED said...

Bought a book some years back, definitely a low point, in many areas. Read it, found a few interesting points, found a lot that I couldn't relate to, haven't looked at it since, won't buy another one. *shrugs*

Carolyn Edgar said...

That might work. My point is, calling black women "queens" and professing a love of, ahem, peach-eating, is the new sensitive man hustle. See, e.g., Raheem DeVaughn.

michaeldavis said...

it is..I didn't believe it either until I saw it on Netflix

Leo the Yardie Chick said...

"Girls in middle schools are now fighting over boys like they're the last piece of chicken."

If I ever have a daughter, and she ever behaves like this, I'm going to have to take time and evaluate where I went wrong as a parent.

Natasha Hunter said...

I was like "Wait... why is she crying when they're slow dancing?"  I had to rewind it like 4 times then it was like "Oooh..."!  LMBO 

OneChele said...

Um-um-um. 

OneChele said...

I vote both!

rozb said...

Seems to me, experience makes the best relationship expert. And you sir are an expert. As is my hope for you that you learn from your experiences and do not make the same mistake twice.

michaeldavis said...

is she crying because she's in this movie?  maybe...

JoyGrooves said...

I offered Chele the #RelationshipBookTitle - For Colored Girls: When Fellatio and Fried Chicken Plates R Not Enuf... whatcha think? Should we make it a musical?

Natasha Hunter said...

LMBO... Luv it! My suggestion included chicken as well... so maybe the menfolk are learnin' us sumthin'! LOL 

ASmith said...

Some of my most fav BnB posts come from you being fed up with the ridiculousness of our world sometimes.  Add this to the list.

Ain't nothing else to say, Chele.  This is the handbook... let's do our part to help these men and promote their books and stuff.  Oh wait! That reminds me: Men, make sure you get yourself at LEAST 4 women to co-sign your bullshiggity, I mean expert advice.  Yup.

Kitadiva2 said...

It's J Izzy?  Whateva.  (evil side eye to that pitcher of kool aid)

Diana said...

HAHAHAHAA! Love it! Probably because I wrote something soo similar not long ago. The "hustle" annoys me so. http://aworknprogress.com/2011/06/24/how-to-get-a-get-a-single-black-womans-panties-wet-ten-easy-steps/

Jeannette said...

Wayment! is that Kel from Kenan and Kel!? Oh how the mighty have fallen! LOL

CaliGirlED said...

Great post Chele! I managed to get a few chuckles in between the bullshiggity that has become my work environment.

MCYBW said...

Can someone please cover me with the purple sheet... this post just has me slain in the spirit.  

Angel Blanca said...

Actual Twitter conversation with a so-called relationship "expert"

Me: I keep seeing tweets about you in my TL. What credentials qualify one as a "Relationship Expert," @stevenjdixon? Serious inquiry. #noshade

"RE": @becomingamw My credentials are my book, 100+ relationship articles, 100+ relationship interviews.

Me: Oh, I thought you might have a degree in a comparable field. Thanks.  Generally, though, I don't consider 100+ a significant sample size, but I'd love to see your study and statistical analysis.

"RE": I considered pursuing my PHD but then I decided that I would rather research and develop my own material.  I don't trust a lot of "Data". Too many people either don't know themselves or don't know what they want.

Me: My degree is in counseling, so I'm interested in the work others do, too. Thanks!

"RE": Check me out on [REDACTED] (I'm not spreading...what's the Bougie way to say it? Shiggidty?)

Thanks, Chele, for this because I have been through with these types of so-called "experts," with NO credentials or significant training/experience to make them credible in any field.

Angel Blanca said...

I can do this; I used to be on ministry staff at my last church, so I know this well ;)

CorettaJG said...

Oh you are on it today!  THIS is a RANT (with stage cues)! Love it!

Ms. LTB said...

Hmmm... wondering - would the flip side of this work?  Maybe all the single women could get together and write a book and break down all the reasons each of these books are a bunch of baloney.  I'm sure that for every piece of "advice" there's a female that's been there, done that, and still single and another one who's never done that but is "booed" up for life.  To avoid the rants that we getting over and getting rich on the already victimized and downtrodden, we could give speeches and have retreats and call it "community service".

Personally, I'm good doing me.  I have no need for a man to tell me how to get a man unless the man that I'm trying to get is him.  I work too hard for my money to spend it on relationship advice from what is basically the peanut gallery.  They don't know me and I don't want to know them.  I have cousins and uncles and brothers and a load of other male friends and relatives to ask questions of (for FREE) when I really want the male opinion and they actually know ME.   One must give the men who are getting over like this their props though - they really are masters of marketing to be getting paid for the foolishness that they hand out.  Just think of the possibilities if they ever truly applied themselves to a worthy cause... 

Singlelif said...

I don't believe there are any so-called "relationship experts" that can "show and tell" you your way to a successful relationship that ends in the ultimate sacrifice - "marriage".  I believe you find someone you like, who likes you just as much, and work towards the same "endgame", while trying like hell to keep it together while remaining individuals. #ThatsHard

That being said, I do, however, believe in Psychiatriasts, Psychologists and Relationship Counselors who can help you hold your relationship together.

Mykeia said...

Loved this.

maureen said...

My classmate and I just read this and we are on the floor hollering HARD.  Thanks for helping POTUS put some folk  back to work. This is hilarious. Ummm.... huh...  I might need a post on how hook Idris  or Maxwell, then I'm straight.

NY2VA said...

And many leatherbound books...

Veronica Miller said...

It won't happen. :-( It pains me to say there are too many women who will trust a man's "advice" more than a woman's, and unless a man co-signs on it, trying to get some of these girls to listen is a moot point.


An illustration (forgive me if I've shared this before, I know I have but I'm not sure if it was here in BougieLand): While sitting right next to me at a dinner, a girlfriend pulled out a "How to Be A Lady" book written by yet another man to show us what she's picked up at the bookstore. "Excuse me," I said, "but you don't find it the LEAST bit curious that man wants to give advice about how to be a woman?"

"Well," she said, "I figure I'm trying to attract men, so I should listen to what a man has to say about how a woman can be attractive so I can be that."

I almost threw my mac n' cheese across the dining room. All my feminism (and self-righteousness) came flying out.

"I'm sorry, you're going to shape your actions and personality according to what a man in some book says? You're not even going to ask yourself what kind of woman you want to be, you're just gonna let these clowns DICTATE it to you?! You think it makes sense for a man to tell women how to be women?!" At this point I brought my poor, unsuspecting date into the conversation. "Babe! If I wrote some book telling men how to be a man, would you buy it?"
Mouth full of spinach, he responded simply: "Nope."

Then I turned back to my friend. "Girl, there are PLENTY of women writers who are writing VALID SHIT about womanhood and being feminine in this society. Why not pick up something like that?"

She shrugged, "Well, if I saw it sitting on the table like this one was, maybe I would've been more likely to pick it up."

I gave up.

Veronica Miller said...

I'm angry at you for bringing this into my lifespace. Ain't nuttin' but da debil. *calls an exorcist.*

Veronica Miller said...

*falls out*

Veronica Miller said...

*dies*

Veronica Miller said...

All of you. Good day, sirs.

Veronica Miller said...

Ones, though?


You sir, are not pimpin.

Veronica Miller said...

Roland Harvey?

JojoRaze said...

Great post!  I would also like to thank Soze and William Martin and the other bougie bruhs for making me laugh really hard with their commentary. 

All I can say is: supply and demand.  If women stop buying it, hustlers will stop selling it.

kjnetic aka Peter Parker said...

i needed a side hustle for that new Amazon Fire...

thanks!!

*gets to coming up with a manifesto*

EvolvingElle said...

I know I have!! I even blogged about it.  "Wrote a song about it.  Want to hear it? Hear it go..." (in my David Alan Grier voice as the Old Blues Man from "In Living Color".)

Brandon St. Randy said...

Y'all keep a look out for my new e-book from No Limit Publishing: "From Heaux to Cheaux: How Cooking and Cleaning can snag you a good Christian Dark Skinned Brotha"

So what's the topic for toda....ohhhhhhh. *steps back slowly*

AndreaPlaid said...

Dear Loving Creator,

::points at everyone on this thread::

Amen.

BlackLizLemon said...

CHURCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

*does Holy Ghost dance and passes out*Somebody please call the ushers over to put a "modesty sheet" over me.  Thanks. 

JoycelynC said...

LOL! Why did I just get that visual in my head?

JojoRaze said...

It's sad that this hustle would prolly put black men back to full employment.  The last time that happened was during slavery!

Kat said...

This post strikes a chord with me! Anyone who I follow on Twitter that even retweets Tyrese is a candidate for that unfollow button. The advice that they give is often faulty and I wonder why they think this will work.....when apparently they don't know how to survive inside relationships either. *screams* But I really do think these men followed your plan to a T, lol. 

Nadette said...

This was a minor rant of EPIC proportions, and all I have to say is let the chu'ch say AMEN and AMEN!

I want to collectively tell Steve Harvey, Hill Harper, and Tyrese to sit down and shut. up.

I want to tell all the SILLY and THIRSTY women who buy into their "advice" to kindly go find some common sense and self worth.

And I really wanted to tell a an alumni friend who had the audacity to invite me to drive to Delaware to hear Tyrese speak at our Alma Mater that she seriously must have lost her damned mind if she thought I would be remotely interested in participating in any such event. And that I was offended by the very invitation.

But instead, I'll just share this post on fb and the twitter.

Because you said it so much better than I could've. And that's why I love, Chele!

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