Friday, September 30, 2011

A collective Woo-Woo-Woo


Everybody take a deep breath in. Look at the Soothing Circle of WooWooWoo above. And exhale.

I could say this nicely or I could just say it...

Some of you are taking shiggity WAY too personally on this blog. It's not that crucial. This is a blog. We laugh, we share, we learn. Open discourse as you will. If you are in any way confused right now, pause and review all the Bouge Rules.

Those are my goals. Since it's my blog, things are generally told from my point of view. You can agree, disagree, agree to disagree or say nothing at all. Either way, it kind of is what it is.

This isn't high school. This isn't higher education. It's the Internet. If you feel your point is not getting across, you can  certainly share yours... to a point. Beyond that point, I invite you to launch a blog of your own and reference folks to it on the regular.

I try to be all inclusive but let's be clear here - my journey may not be yours. I may not get where you are coming from. Occasionally, I may poke fun at something you hold dear. Feel free to mock me in return. I'm tough, I can take it. I'm not divine, I'm nowhere near perfection so if you're looking for God-like acceptance and inclusion, seek a deity not me. Jesus ain't through with me yet.

People's opinions and comments are their own. Yet some of you slink about and wait for someone to say something you virulently disagree with and then you call them out. And attempt to beat them about the head and neck with your opinion which you've decided trumps all others.

Asking someone in accusatory tone - "Why would you say that" is moot. They said it because that's how they felt at the time they were typing or they were dangling bait which you just took. Elevate the debate, please. A great response would be "I don't understand how you reached that conclusion, can you elaborate on this point?"

I don't mind snark but there's a whiff of nasty that rears its ugly up in here from time to time. No thank you. Others of you clearly need a hug and may want to rethink if a blog is really where you want to work on your feelings of abandonment/neglect/narcissism/fill in the ailment here. I'm also going to need some of you to learn where and how to direct your anger. I didn't hurt you. I doubt the other readers did either. Relax, relate, release. Yes fellas, I'm talking to some of your bitter behinds too.

Hmm. Guess I decided to just say it. We can chalk this up to hormones (and we'd be 85% correct) or we can say it was time for a Come to Bougie Moment. Take it as you will. In the meantime, group hug?

*lights sage candles and passes around chamomile tea... in purple cups* Thoughts?

64 comments:

Mykeia said...

Happy Friday!
A collective group e-hug may be in order.  BnB family be well and safe this weekend and please remember what OneChele is saying, this is the internet not therapy.
I love what this blog offers and I will keep coming back even when it's tense up in here!
Be well.

ccb296 said...

I fully agree!  And this needs to be reposted at least once a month.  I really like this blog.  BUT!  It still amazes me when some of your readers go all Billy (or Benita) Bad*ss out of the clear blue.  Then end up with their feelings hurt because they picked a fight with the wrong person (me).  Yo it’s just the internet!  We’re all just babbling about nothing really.  So stop taking it personal folks!

NoNotPinkett said...

I appreciate that the mood of this blog is affable & civil; that's why I read. I feel comfortable here, like a party guest who's been invited to take her shoes off  in the host's house. That doesn't mean I can put my feet up on the coffee table, though. Sometimes people need a gentle raised eyebrow so they don't get too loose. That's how I took this.

keishabrown said...

^^^^ +1

EvolvingElle said...

Girl....what did I miss???  Do people really act that salty on a blog???  People need more than an e-hug; they need Jesus!

MsJamie14 said...

Well, I guess the PSA was needed. But for those like me who doesn't take this stuff too seriously, those on #TeamTenderheart are always good for a chuckle.

Natasha Hunter said...

Big ups for recognizing and redirecting ... and for reposting the rules,  because my paraphrasing was AFU!

DFig said...

ditto. I feel like I might have missed something. you take one day off of reading blogs....

Jasmin said...

For once I'm in the loop...let's just say a few people were looking to have their life choices validated by BougieLand

CaliGirlED said...

"If you feel your point is not getting across, you can  certainly share
yours... to a point. Beyond that point, I invite you to launch a blog of
your own and reference folks to it on the regular." THE END

Leon X said...

I don't understand how you reached that conclusion, can you elaborate on this point?#SeeWhatIDidThere #ICouldntHelpMyself

GrownAzzMan said...

What I miss?

thinklikeRiley said...

*opens posts, sees "Soothing Circle of WooWooWoo," smells sage candles, backs out slowly*

AnnettePearl said...

This is the bougiest "ya'll need to get your minds right" message I've ever read. Love it.

Pure Choco said...

Jesus ain't through with me yet.
*Drops a fiddy on the altar.*

blackprofessor said...

Nothing to add but you set folks straight in the nicest, most politically correct way!

michaeldavis said...

this is like that scene in Do the Right Thing...

Da Mayor: Doctor...Mookie: What?! 
Da Mayor: Doctor, always do the right thing.
Mookie: That's it?

Da Mayor: That's it.
Mookie: Got it. I'm gone.

michaeldavis said...

is that a Care Bear from back in the day? LOL!

Trey Charles said...

Who done ripped they drawers in BougieLand now?

PatriciaW said...

Don't know what brought this on, but I love it.  And I love this blog.  Keep sharing your journey, Chele.

CaliGirlED said...

LOL!!!

Angel Blanca said...

YAY!! I like hugs (I'm rather snuggable). I'm not that fond of chamomile, though. May I request rooibos, please? Thanks!

Jubi The Great said...

I'm out the loop cause I didn't realize folks were getting all in their feelings abt the posts & comments. I've seen some healthy discussion, but nothing heated IMO. Or maybe I'm just used to less bougie behavior on other blogs. Oh & LMAO @ "Come to Bougie moment".

Grace said...

I've seen some hints our out-of-pocketness but I guess this took care of that. #KeepItBougie

tiffanyinhouston said...

I'm sorry but neck tattoes are indeed career limiting. And despite what you may believe you cannot flat back your way to success. Your cocoa WILL get old after while. And neither activity is Bougie.

Don't like the rules, then change the game. Or yourself.

#shotsfired

CaliGirlED said...

"Occasionally, I may poke fun at something you hold dear. Feel free to mock me in return. "...Like I told my ex when he was about to laugh at my cousin Faye, "Don't forget about your Uncle Johnny"! He said, "Oh yeah", and we both fell out laughing! Sometimes you just gotta laugh.

CaliGirlED said...

Bwahahahaha!!!

MsJamie14 said...

Yes...it's Tenderheart Bear! LOL

BlackButterfly said...

What did I miss?

*Stepping back in Bougie time with TIH's help because I think I know where to find what I missed*

bashowell said...

Stealing "flat back"

Earthangel172 said...

"Asking someone in accusatory tone - "Why would you say that" is moot.
They said it because that's how they felt at the time they were typing
or they were dangling bait which you just took. Elevate the debate,
please."

Chele you are on a roll this week! ::drops $100 in the offering plate::

As for this: "A great response would be I don't understand how you reached that conclusion, can you elaborate on this point?'" 

How about you don't ask me chit and just keep it moving? Deal? I am a firm believer that people are entitled to their opinions.

Earthangel172 said...

Nuff said.

TNDRHRT said...

You know that's my line name, right?  Tenderheart #29.  Yeah...a group e-hug is in order.  I'm compassionate, but not sensitive.  Now let me go read the comments that brought this about.  #ImMessy

Sasha Iman said...

Whatevs, I got that Matrix lean so I'm all good on them bullets.

"I'm sorry but neck tattoos are indeed career limiting. "

I didn't say neck tats weren't limiting. I just said why did they have to reduce someone to the worst of occupations. There are other alternative lifestyles in which neck tats don't matter (musician, artist, etc) and are actually common.

"And despite what you may believe you cannot flat back your way to success. Your cocoa WILL get old after while."

2. Wow. I never tried to make that argument, so I'll assume that wasn't aimed at me. Either way, that statement is funny in so many ways.

"And neither activity is Bougie." <--- Never tried to argue that either.

"Don't like the rules, then change the game. Or yourself."

Don't care enough to do all that, and I feel very good about myself. It just would be nice to not feel like massive amounts of beyond snarky shade would be thrown my way if I tried to elaborate on things that seem to have the knitting circle all confused up in here. Shade, snarkiness, and side eye for days, fine (see the thread that inspired your comment). But, assuming we're not cool like that and I'm not speaking ill of someone, is purposefully taking shots at someone really necessary (which is exactly what I'm talking about)? Even Riley was more tactful than that.

**********************************************************************************************
Anyways, since this convo is getting mighty circular, and I'm not one for speaking to hear myself talk, that's the last thing I have to say on the matter.

Sasha Iman said...

#ImMessy

Lmao, Own It!

Singlelif said...

Oooh, oooh, oooh...I gotta admit I saw this coming while reading the shenanigans up in this camp earlier this week.  #BlessYourHearts

CaliGirlED said...

If you can't say "Amen", say "Ouch"! Throw a rock and the hit dog will holler.

tiffanyinhouston said...

Sasha,

My comments weren't aimed at you in particular, but yes I did read that sidebar the other day. I don't think I was the only person not fond of neck tats, for what it's worth. I do find it interesting the need to break down my comment point by point, (that you have since edited) but again I was generally speaking, unless that particular shoe happens to fit. If it doesn't, carry on. If I find the need to comment directly to you, I have no issue with hitting that reply button.

At any rate, if what folks in BougieLand strike a nerve, then self examination is more necessary than typing an internet dissertation at a complete stranger.

Leo the Yardie Chick said...

So, I guess I was right to avoid that Open Mic post.

Reecie said...

"Or maybe I'm just used to less bougie behavior on other blogs. "
thats what it is. LOL. I hadn't noticed either...

Jubi The Great said...

After years on Kazo, all other convos seem tame by comparison.

Mykeia said...

With you on the roobios...chamomile a little too something for me, haven't put my finger on it yet...

Mykeia said...

ME TOO!

CaliGirlED said...

How about just posting your comment and not comment on the comment of others to get your point across?

MsJamie14 said...

The offending comments were deleted. But yeah, it was childs play compared to KAZO. I have armor that's impenetrable. LOL

Earthangel172 said...

I caught it a while back in another blog posting when one of the GA boys said "some of these comments is doing.the.most" but I can't remember which one said it.

AndreaPlaid said...

I can't with you, good Riley. LOL

Earthangel172 said...

And the Church said...A-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-amen! LOL

Earthangel172 said...

Or as the country folks say, "a scalded dog will holler!"

Miz JJ said...

TIH tells it like it is. Me likey.

Leon X said...

Wait, did we just have a meeting about a meeting?

Brenda Kay said...

^^^Has been very busy with work for the past few weeks, so visiting BougieLand generally happens in the early AM before heading off to bed. I must confess, I'm a bit out of the loop, but this comment serves as my signature that I have read and understand, "Chele's Rules of Conduct". :-D 

CaliGirlED said...

 LOL!!! Should we all acknowledge that we have read AND understand? Too funny!

bashowell said...

Lol I'll just go on and second that just in case

Sasha Iman said...

Hmm, It appears I'm mistaken but please understand I've been taught to pay attention to not just what is said but the way it's said and I was a psych/sociology major (hence the occasional dissertation and propensity for reading more into something than one might have intended). But I hope you can see where I'm coming from. 

You said "I'm sorry but...", "And despite what you may think..." as if addressing someone who was arguing against the points you were making. Then went on to put #shotsfired. Since I was the only one who made a comment that could have been interpreted as arguing against the assertions you made, I figured you were targeting me and felt the need to reply. That might not have been your intent, but all were those words to go on and that was the conclusion I drew.

FWIW: It was that perceived misrepresentation of what I stated being used to fire shots (presumably at me) that struck a nerve, not the thoughts you expressed.

Sasha Iman said...

 Lmao, my mother used to say "Do you understand?" AND WAIT for me to say
"yes, I understand", anytime she had to seriously talk to me after
getting in trouble. She'd occasionally throw in "What is it you
understand?."



Maannn, ain't no way I could go eff up and say I didn't know any better
after that. She'd skip all formalities and get straight to handing out
my punishment.

Singlelif said...

Yes, that "doing.the.most"  post is part of the shenanigans I'm talking about.  All of that was a slow buildup to todays implosion. I can definitely understand Chele's decision to moderate and turn this ship around.  Remember another post when Chele said something along the lines of some of us having "last worditis"... 

CaliGirlED said...

LOL

Earthangel172 said...

Yessir! LOL

Earthangel172 said...

Remember another post when Chele said something along the lines of some of us having "last worditis"...

Sure did!

GammasWorld said...

I've missed something ... again ... (dang it I've got to pay attention to nuances) .   

kjnetic aka Peter Parker said...

*stands outside the woo-woo-woo circle*

*refuses to hold hands and join the Caravan of Love*

bad man nah deal with hugs dem, wi deal with tugs dem.


*stands in a b-boy stance.....as he's escorted to the corner*

Sol_dier said...

bad man nah deal with hugs dem, wi deal with tugs dem.

why does this  sound like a Vybz Kartel lyric?.

Veronica Miller said...

*looks up from design project*

Wait, what?

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails