Wednesday, September 07, 2011

The Bougie Bridegroom Chronicles: Lessons Learned


A different perspective for you today. Rob, who met Amy here in BougieLand, will be flying to San Diego tomorrow in preparation for his wedding on Saturday. He has a few thoughts he'd like to share:

Hi, my name is Rob and I'm getting married this weekend. Less than five days from now, I'll be Mr. Bleek. Yes, I know I'm Mr. Bleek now but I'll be the Mr. as in Mr. and Mrs. *gulps air rapidly*

Here's what I've learned since proposing:

1. Marriage doesn't scare me but all the wedding shiggity planning in advance has freaked me out. I can honestly say that I don't care if the flowers are white or ivory. I don't care if Amy wears her hair up or down. I can dance to Johnny Cash and Johnny Gill, whoever. But it seems to be important to Amy, so I weigh in. Yes, I want my middle name on the invitation. Yes, I can find four groomsmen. Yes, teal is a beautiful color. No, I didn't know it wasn't the same as turquoise or ocean... but I do now. My lesson - if it's important to her, it's important to me - like it or not.

2. Guys that I thought were my friends have pulled me aside to question my sanity. "Rob, are you sure about this?" "Rob, my dude, marriage - really?" "Rob, what do you really know about her?" Very quickly, I was able to figure out which friends were trying to be helpful, which ones were hating, and which ones were bitter. It was illuminating. My lesson - there's got to be an easier way to learn who your friends are.

3. With the exception of the excessive extensive marriage counseling that we attended, we had very little time to actual think about the future. My lesson - thank God Amy and I had fleshed out who we were and what we wanted from each other before the circus started, otherwise we would be two strangers walking towards each other on Saturday.

4. Family means well but at some point the wedding becomes more about them then about us. Lesson learned - nothing wrong with eloping. 

5. Pre-Wedding TapBack is no joke. After the invitations went out and the Facebook statuses were changed, Amy and I have heard from people we hadn't given a thought to in years. I kid you not - my ex-girlfriend from the seventh grade reached out. Ma'am? Really? Lesson learned - Chele was right, beware the tapback.

6. Old(er) married people are your friends. Single people who have never been engaged, close to engaged or maintained a relationship longer than a weekend are useless to the bewildered and the betrothed. (And yet they feel compelled to offer up advice) I quickly learned to listen to the LMs (Long Marrieds).Best advice - You're never ready, but at least be prepared.

In conclusion, I'm over the engagement and the wedding - I'm ready to be married. Thanks BougieLand for letting me vent.

Bougienistas - any thoughts on Rob's thoughts? Any good wishes to send the future Mr. & Mrs Bleek? Do you think people plan more for the wedding than the marriage? The floor is yours...

86 comments:

ConvertingMe said...

Also beware the BD - Bitter Divorcees. I ran into a few as my wedding approached and the hate was another presence in the room. Congrats! 

thinking that... said...

congratulations!!!  many blessings on your big day and the many days to come as you and mrs. bleek settle in to your new life....

"Yes, teal is a beautiful color. No, I didn't know it wasn't the same as turquoise or ocean... but I do now." ~ LOL LOL funny... men and colors

"there's got to be an easier way to learn who your friends are." ~ amen!, but better late than never...

"I quickly learned to listen to the LMs" ~ they have been there done that, great lesson learned...

Sarah said...

Congratulations to both you and Amy! I hope it all goes smoothly. You two sound about as prepared as two people can be :-) 

Angela said...

Congratulations!!!

maureen said...

I will heed to # 6; single folks. Congratulations to both of you and may the coming years, fill your lives with love and happiness!!!

blackprofessor said...

This made my day!!!

Congrats to Rob and Amy!  Rob, it sounds like you are wise young man and have dutifully learned the lessons in front of you.  I wish you all the best that life can offer!

Lady4Real said...

Oooooooooooo *claps hands in excitements* *raises hand and jumps up and down to put in 2cent*

 "Family means well but at some point the wedding becomes more about them then about us. Lesson learned - nothing wrong with eloping."

"Old(er) married people are your friends. Single people who have never been engaged, close to engaged or maintained a relationship longer than a weekend are useless to the bewildered and the betrothed. (And yet they feel compelled to offer up advice) I quickly learned to listen to the LMs (Long Marrieds).Best advice - You're never ready, but at least be prepared."

These two right here smashed the nail on the head and put it through the wall!!! Still considered a newlywed so many things are still fresh from my wedding and I remember everyone having a say and a request but not a penny to put in the pot, smdh. What I value as priceless beyond priceless are my veterans of marriage. I get the best advice from those who have been married 5+ years or together 5+ years, they cut no cards, hide no secrets, they give you the truth and nothing but the truth (when they are happily and healthy married, mind you).

To the future Mr. & Mrs. Bleek, stay being friends, never lose your friendship, keep communication lines open and remember the only constant thing in life is change so be ready to ride every wave that comes and be there for each other everyday.

Storms will rage, breezes will blow, tides come in and tides will go but the love that binds you will be the love that finds you & guides you on your darkest days. 

CaliGirlED said...

First off, CONGRATULATIONS to you both!!! Wishing you many blessings and happy years to come!

Secondly, Rob thanks for venting! So many people get engaged and are never told of the events to come, BEFORE the wedding day even arrives.

The lessons you learned: 1. "Marriage doesn't scare me but all the wedding shiggity planning in advance has freaked me out"....If mama ain't happy, nobody's happy! Damn peace in the middle East, it's about peace in your home! (I see you get that)

2. "Guys that I thought were my friends...there's got to be an easier way to learn who your friends are"....I wish there was! It truly amazes me that people tend to show their asses when you really need them to be, well, just friends!

3. "With the exception of the excessive extensive marriage counseling that we attended, we had very little time to actual think about the future"....I've said for years, there's too much emphasis on the wedding and not the marriage! (I've never been married, but when it was on the table the focus was on who's house were we living in, what repairs/additions were we going to make to whichever residence, how holidays would be spent, retain cars/new cars, savings, vacations, kids' education.)..."thank God Amy and I had fleshed out who we were and what we wanted from each other before the circus started" YES!!!

5. "Pre-Wedding TapBack is no joke...Chele was right, beware the tapback"...Folks are ratchet!

6. "Old(er) married people are your friends"...Their wisdom is priceless!

Lastly, I pray that you have a beautiful wedding day and that your love and life together are honored and lifted up!

rozb said...

God bless you Rob and Amy! You guys make me excited about getting married real soon here!

Older married couples have a lot of wisdom and common-sense advice. My neighbors across the street drop nuggets of knowledge and are still as happy as newlyweds after all these years.

sunt97 said...

Congrats, and heck yeah, people plan the wedding more than the marriage.  We all get sidetrack with that date, the dress, flowers,  food and who is sitting next to who.  We forget that after the honeymoon comes the real everyday marriage that has its ups and downs, highs and lows, that a couple must get through.  I am glad that he is looking forward to the marriage and not the wedding date.

Peace, Love and Chocolate,
Tiffany

Jubilance said...

Congratulations Rob & Amy!!! I hope you have a beautiful wedding & a wonderful marriage.

BlackButterfly said...

Congratulations to you both!  It's my city and I could be biased but I think that you'll chose a beautiful city for the wedding.

Do you think people plan more for the wedding than the marriage?  Yes I do and it is a sad thing.  I grew up knowing that if I were to ever get married that the marriage part mattered much more to me than the wedding.   Now I love sprinkles, but I would choose a strong relationship foundation and eloping to a beautiful tropical locale with dress in hand over the impeccably planned family prioritized stress-o-rama any day.

sol_dier said...

Congratulations :) I wish both of you the very best and all that you wish for yourselves.
Its a beautiful thing to find someone who you love who loves you back. 

This day is for both of you, no-one else. Enjoy :) and many more happy years after :) Why am I grinning from ear to ear for both of you ...lol.

CaliGirlED said...

And I love the ones that keep it real! They tell you that it's not all going to be a walk in the park. They tell you how to ride the waves and rock with the boat. Because the waves will come and boat will rock!

Socialitedreams said...

congratulations!!! great piece, especially:


6. Old(er) married people are your friends. Single people who have never been engaged, close to engaged or maintained a relationship longer than a weekend are useless to the bewildered and the betrothed. (And yet they feel compelled to offer up advice) I quickly learned to listen to the LMs (Long Marrieds).Best advice - You're never ready, but at least be prepared.
I don't know why more people don't get that you should take advice from people living how you want to live.  

Angel Blanca said...

Every time I read about Amy and Rob, I get an overwhelming sense of the warm fuzzies!! 

May your lives together be filled with continued open communication, honest emotions, and welcoming love.  All the best to you both, always!

Bonita Applebum said...

Man. #4 is REAL. TALK. *SMH* If I ever get married again, I've told everyone they'll find out when I get back from the courthouse or Vegas.  

Sounds like this man GETS it. Blessings to you both!

Natasha Hunter said...

Congratulations, and may your life together be filled with more blessings than you can imagine! : )

AndreaPlaid said...

A toast to the about-to-be-marrieds! ::raises champagne glass:: 
I think Amy and you seem to have a very healthy idea about marriage. Far too often, far too people equate wedding blow-out with a great marriage...and how many of us have heard stories--if we don't have a story or two of our own--of the couples who got divorced and haven't even finished opening the wedding gifts.  So, a thousand co-signs to this: "I'm over the engagement and the wedding - I'm ready to be married." And, it seems, weddings aren't even about the bride *and* groom, but the bride getting her "Disney Princess/Belle of the Ball" fantasy on. The poor groom is part of the wedding scheme, right up there with the flowers and the wedding invites. Sometimes you want to jump up and say, "Gurl, your wedding is not your cotillion. Don't get it twisted." During these times...yes, eloping is a damn fine idea! :-DAs someone's who's been through what you two are about to do, I just say that love is something that you do daily, not something that exists in perfect suspension. Also know that sometimes love requires that you do different things as you and Amy grow as individuals and as a couple. If you can swing with that shifting, I think you'll be all right. 

Mazel tov, y'all!

md_KG said...

Congratulations Rob & Amy!! (and thanks for sharing with BougieLand)! Wishing you both all the best for the future.

"4. Family means well but at some point the wedding becomes more about
them then about us. Lesson learned - nothing wrong with eloping."
--> This is abso-ma-lutely the gospel truth.

Very wise of you both to seek out the wisdom of the "old(er) married people". Their experiences are invaluable.

Grace said...

*raises hand in audience*
Rob - you may have answered this before but what made you decide to propose?

CaliGirlED said...

AMEN to that!!! People are shocked when I say that I don't' have to have a wedding. I wouldn't mind having one, but not at the expense of my sanity and entire bank account! When my time comes, I will probably have a destination wedding (maybe even a cruise), those who will, will, and those who won't, oh well.

Jeannette said...

Congrats to Amy & Rob.   As for myself when my time comes, I personally can't wait to cue Cee-Lo's

 "F UUUUU".  I already know there will be many occasions and situations where i might have to curse someone clean out.. all in the name of cutting down my invite list.   Sadly most of those people will probably be family, but if they knew my Father they'll know me so they shouldn't be surprised. LOL

TNDRHRT said...

Congratulations to you guys!  I'm always excited about weddings and the future for the couple!  Yes, I certainly believe that people put way more preparation in the wedding than the marriage.  Just yesterday I was informed by a friend that she is divorcing her husband of almost two years.  Makes me very sad.   They went to the JOP and then had a reception several months later.  I was hoping they could work it out.  Another friend divorced after only two years of marriage.  Huge elaborate wedding, 450 some guests, and two months after the ceremony there was trouble in paradise.  I'm one of those single never married so I won't offer up any advice other than to MAKE IT WORK wherever possible.  My two friends above divorced over irreconcilable differences that could have possibly been repaired, but I only knew what they told me.  I was there in their lives to see the day to day happenings.  Blessings to you and Amy!

TNDRHRT said...

Congratulations to you guys!  I'm always excited about weddings and the future for the couple!  Yes, I certainly believe that people put way more preparation in the wedding than the marriage.  Just yesterday I was informed by a friend that she is divorcing her husband of almost two years.  Makes me very sad.   They went to the JOP and then had a reception several months later.  I was hoping they could work it out.  Another friend divorced after only two years of marriage.  Huge elaborate wedding, 450 some guests, and two months after the ceremony there was trouble in paradise.  I'm one of those single never marrieds so I won't offer up any advice other than to MAKE IT WORK wherever possible.  My two friends above divorced over irreconcilable differences that could have possibly been repaired, but I only knew what they told me.  I wasn't there in their lives to see the day to day happenings.  Blessings to you and Amy!

thinklikeRiley said...

Real talk - lemme lift my venti caramel mocha to da toast position.
Black love people. Got a bruh misty over here.

Only1DivaC said...

Congratulations Amy and Rob! I wish you many, many blessings on your marriage. Your post was so on point.

Yes, people do plan more for the wedding than the marriage. I've already told my immediate family that I will be having a destination wedding. So, yes certain family members will be upset. I refuse to pay for food and drinks on people I can't stand to be around and will have no impact on marriage when he starts to get on my nerves.

CorettaJG said...

Yay!!  I made a request yesterday and here it is and worth the wait!
As a wedding/event planner in my side hustle and a 4-year married, 4-year divorced person, I wholeheartedly agree with Rob’s thoughts. 
Definitely LISTEN TO HAPPILY MARRIED PEOPLE over single friends.   The advice is often VERY different.  Married people know that sometimes being in a committed relationship requires compromise and “looking stupid” in a way single people often don’t understand. You’re not just packing up your bags and  leaving when you get angry.  You’re in this thing for the long-haul so you’ve got to figure out how to work it out and how to “fight fair.”
And I particularly agree about the wedding ceremony/hoopla being about family in many ways.  My May bride ended up with a large wedding party, cathedral length veil and almost having to remove her maid of honor from the party because of family.  The things that she really wanted were to marry her prince, have the entire guest list of 300 family and friends and have the fabulous couture gown.  The surprise African Dance troupe performance that she loved, I provided as a gift. 
My November bride is ready to forget the whole thing and elope tomorrow due to the expense, headache and her other time commitments, but her mother has been diagnosed with a terminal illness and she wants her to have everything she ever wanted when she imagined this event. 
It’s tough.  I eloped AND had the big family wedding later that year and I highly recommend eloping (but with a special ensemble, flowers and a photographer ;-)

Deb B said...

My wedding was this huge destination blowout. Doncha know I was divorced before I finished paying off that wedding debt? Now that ain't right.
People cut a complete fool over the wedding and looking back, I have to face the fact that I got married because "it was time" more than anything else. I may have loved him but probably the idea of him and what marriage was supposed to be got me.
I should have spoken to some married saints before gliding down the beach in a $12,000 gown...
Le Sigh.
Sounds like you two are going in with your heads and your hearts. Blessings on your union.

SouthernWes said...

#1 gives me flashbacks of my bride shrieking at me "Salmon and Peach are not the same thing, why can't you see that?!" Oooookay. The best thing about weddings are that at the end of the day, you are married. That is all.

OneChele said...

Technically, salmon is in the pink family and peach is in the orange... I know you were dying to know that! ;-)

SouthernWes said...

*mumbles* My life is complete now. Thank you, Bougenificent One.

Cariblady said...

Congrats Amy and Rob! 

 I totally cosign on this post I'm getting married on 9/17 and everything you have said is 100% true and has happened with me and my fiance and some point in the 18 months we have been engaged.  Getting married really does show you who your true friends who care and support you as a single person and as a couple are. You see who truly wants you to be happy.  I will pass on what my future mother-in-law has said to me many times in the pass few months as long as the two of you are happy and keep each other close and keep giving God the praise you will be blessed.

Jennifer said...

Congratulations, Rob and Amy!  Just breathe and enjoy your day together, ignore the lil flubs/drama of the day and laugh about them together on the honeymoon :)

 Great post btw.  I'm divorced, and I completely agree, there is only so much insight your single friends can really provide.  Those LMs are great marriage mentors, whatever you encounter is someting they have probably already navigated - no better resource!

Happy to hear you did premarital counseling... did  you find you had talked thru most 'scenarios' already, or did you find there were many topics you hadn't talked about prior to engagement?  I know you can't think of EVERY "what if" but next time I marry, lets just say I will have alot more specific questions to ask my fiance.

blackprofessor said...

Caligirl,
You are better than me! I might have a backyard wedding, BBQ and call it a day!

DesertBlack said...

Amy and Rob Congratulations! Enjoy and Embrace the Adventure!

MichelleG said...

Rob: well said! I'm happy that you checked in. I wish you & Amy both nothing but love and happiness and the respect needed to deal & overcome the tough times. Mazel Tov!!
 
Chele: Yes - too many people get caught up in the production and do not spend enough time even thinking about the marriage. Some well meaning people need to understand that just because God permitted it does not mean He promoted it. HE allows us to learn from our own choices. Truth be told Jesus himself could interrupt the ceremony and some would still go forward just because mama would have a fit.  Everyone wants a fairy tale ending but those stories or few and far between. Real love, real life takes work and it can't be built on a foundation of superficial similarities. Some of the most beautiful weddings I've produced were the ones built on sand (& yes I predicted every one of those divorces). The outside folks/friends who seemed hurt the most were ones that really had no clue what was going on in the couples lives. The "try harder" or I'll pray for you were too little too late. At the end of the day people hear what they want to all you can do is wish them well.

(This response is not about Rob and Amy. The discussions over past Bougieland posts cover so much more than marriage counseling - they are solid as a rock in my book! ) 

michaeldavis said...

First off, congrats to both of you!   Chele seems to have a matchmaking service somewhere in her future.

#6. ALL.DAY.AND.NIGHT. I feel it also goes for people that are dating.  People that are bitter or jaded on the low are toxic.  No different than the people in the hood that told me I was stupid for staying in college. Same principle.
Having been married (past tense) I can also understand #3.  I really don't know if it's needed or not.

Did I co-sign #6?  OK

Wait, ocean is different from teal and turquoise? 

Nylse said...

glad you included #6 - they come from a good place and mean well!
Congrats!

Leon X said...

Y'know, I've tried to tell people that #6 applies to me yet they still come to me for advice. C'est la vie.

Michele said...

Congratulations and all the very best!

JohnKinPDX said...

As someone who didn't make it to the altar (after considerable expense), I have to say that #3 really resonated with me. If I ever do this all over again, I will invest in the premarital counseling and make sure we are both clear on who we are and what we want. I also think you and Amy were smart to get relationship counseling early (prior to the ring) it showed an investment into the relationship that sets a great foundation.

As for the color wheel - my whole life was Tiffany Blue and Espresso Brown for longer than I care to think about.

Lady4Real said...

This sure hit a spot in my heart, my 1st marriage was all about the wedding and me being a wife, but I didn't know the man I was marrying, there were red flags everywhere but I didn't pay attention and by the end of the 1st month I wanted out, it took 5 years for me to escape but I sure did learn a lot. Glad I know better, now I can do better. Me and new hubs are doing mighty well, working hard as hell at it but I love the work and the results at the end.

OneChele said...

I so doubt you want to get into the "shades of blue and green" discussion ;-)

Lady4Real said...

Definitely LISTEN TO HAPPILY MARRIED PEOPLE over single friends.   The advice is often VERY different.  Married people know that sometimes being in a committed relationship requires compromise and “looking stupid” in a way single people often don’t understand. <<<<~~~~~ THIS. RIGHT. HERE.

I come from a mixed bag, my mom and dad never married, but my Dad has been married before, I have married siblings and cousins and friends. My hubby doesn't have a married person to turn to to save his life and the advice I get from my people and the advice he gets from his are night and day. At least he has sense enough to listen to my dad and our mutal friends.

Lady4Real said...

If you ain't been there it's best to ask someone who is there, how to get there.

The_A said...

Congratulations to the happy couple! Thanks for sharing & may God bless you both with a long happy union!!!

6. Old(er) married people are your friends.<<<<THIS!!! My church has a majority bougie population old enough to be my [aunts & uncles] & most of them are married. Crazy?

Perhaps but every Sunday when the pastor announces the multiple 50+, 40+, 30+, 20+ years of MARRIAGE (they do it by week because there are too many to list in one service) I said they do it by WEEK because there are TOO MANY to list in one service

I know I'm absorbing lessons from the best of the best.

The Young Bougie Singles all glossed up, posted up & overflowing down the street can keep all that drama down there.

Lady4Real said...

They even tell you how to survive if the boat capsizes. They leave no stone unturned, and if they don't know they will find someone who does know and get you that info. I love me some older folk, I swear 'fo God I do!

MelaninEnriched said...

Congratulations Rob and Amy!!!

Since I'm single,  this is sage advice.

michaeldavis said...

Correct!  I know when to nod my head in agreement.

CorettaJG said...

Smart man!  Sounds like a keeper! :)

CorettaJG said...

High five sista!  I love what your church is doing.

CorettaJG said...

I too co-sign the pre-engagement counseling!

Alvin Milton said...

congrats and thanks for sharing that perspective. I'm sure a lot of guys will echo these ideas but not everyone will come to the same conclusions sadly ie. whats important to her, is important to me.

Iced_Coffee_Sweet_Tea_Diva said...

Rob and Amy, Wishing you all of the love that your hearts can hold.  Congratulations and best wishes.

Just_A_Thought1218 said...

Congrats!!!!

Also, I, as a never been married, never been engaged singleton have given excellent advice to my married friends.  Mostly on the "don't do that stupid thing you are about to do that will jeopardize your marriage." If advice is asked on something else unrelated to the advice seeker about to do something stupid, I simply say "I can't answer that for you, you need to find someone who's been where you've been."

CaliGirlED said...

And they either love it or stay their trifling asses at home cause they weren't contributing a dime anyway!!! LOL

CaliGirlED said...

 Like GAM said "Cee-Lo 'em"!!!

CaliGirlED said...

"...and two months after the ceremony there was trouble in paradise. " That trouble was there before they said "I do"!

CaliGirlED said...

Girl did you see my tweet to KG about the destination wedding? LOL!...That will more than likely be my route!

CaliGirlED said...

"Truth be told Jesus himself could interrupt the ceremony and some would still go forward..." *writes check to pay tithes*

CaliGirlED said...

 "I also think you and Amy were smart to get relationship counseling
early (prior to the ring) it showed an investment into the relationship
that sets a great foundation." AMEN!!!

AppleBerryMIA said...

Thanks for all the good wishes. I would like to point out that while I'm running around with the last minute details, SuperRob is blogging... what's wrong with that picture?!

And everybody knows that ocean and turquoise are worlds apart, right? Love ya'll, see you on the other side!

Rob said...

More men need to acquire this talent - smile and nod.

Rob said...

$12k for the dress?!?!!
*passes out*

Rob said...

Those of us who have only had Starbucks and Doritos today salute you

Rob said...

1. She's an amazing woman
2. She gets me
3. She'll still be amazing and get me in 50 years
4. I couldn't imagine anyone else as Mrs. Bleek, mother of Baby Bleeks
5. I didn't want anyone else to imagine her as anything other than Mrs. Bleek
6. The thought of #4 and #5 going wrong scared me shitless

That is all.

The Bunni said...

Congrats Rob & Amy!!  Many blessings on your wedding day and in your marriage!

CaliGirlED said...

LOL!!! You are too funny! I just figured we'd be reading your post tomorrow. Damn SuperRob don't know ocean from turquoise! LOL

Jazzy Jazz said...

Congrats Rob and Amy! Keep God in the center of your marriage. I wish nothing but joy and happiness for the 2 of you.

Chele- I do think that we spend entirely too much time planning for the perfect wedding, and not enough time getting prepared for marriage. Its sad. If more people spent time getting to know themselves and their new spouse I can almost bet the divorce rate wouldn't be as high as it is. Disney has ruined us- teaching that we fall in love, and we get the white dress and its happily ever after. o_O

Jazzy Jazz said...

There is currently future husband in my life - but I have already forewarned my mom that I want a beach wedding. All I need is the officiant( aka my grandfather) , my mom, his parents, my grandparents , my favorite cousin. I dont really need any one else. 

TheProdiva said...

Excellent lessons learned! Please allow me to comment on lessons 1 and 6. Lesson 1 is a big one. The sooner you recognize that what one party considers important is by default important to the other part, the smoother things become. As to Lesson 6, how can you teach someone to ride a bike if you have never ridden one? Your never-been-married friends are no longer a reliable source for your relationship. With that said, good luck, and I wish you a happy marriage!

Hidi said...

Congratulations to Rob & Amy!!! :)

*Cuing: Let's Get Married by Jagged Edge feat. Reverend Run*
Jagged Edge - Let's Get Married ft. Reverend Ru
Jagged Edge - Let's Get Married ft. Reverend Run

Jagged Edge - Let's Get Married ft. Reverend Run

Jagged Edge - Let's Get Married ft. Reverend Run*

Earthangel172 said...

Congrats to the happy couple! I don't have much to add except that I love attending weddings, not planning one...LOL

Earthangel172 said...

I refuse to pay for food and drinks on people I can't stand to be
around and will have no impact on marriage when he starts to get on my
nerves.

this.ish.right.here.

Maybe its the Scorpio in me but I've always said that I'm not hosting a party for a bunch of kneegrows who don't like me anyway. If I haven't talked to you in the last 2 years, no invite. If we ever fell out, no invite.  2nd and 3rd removed cousins, no invite...LOL

Natasha said...

Congratulations to the future Mr. and Mrs. Bleek!!!

Suebhoney1125 said...

(Cyber Toast) Congratulations Rob and Amy, may your lives together be filled with all the happiness your hearts can hold.!!!!

mojitochica said...

Congratulations!  Should you ever decide to renew your vows or heaven forbid get married again I have two words for you: destination wedding.  You can invite everyone under the sun and if they come they come, though chances are they won't ;ob

tiffanyinhouston said...

Congrats and God's blessings to you, Rob and Amy!!!!

I can co-sign to #2, 5, and 6 with a vengeance!!

And as someone who had a fairly large wedding and was happy to do so, if you can afford it and it won't cause any financial strain then have the gotdamn wedding that you want!

OneChele said...

That's awesome.

Brenda Kay said...

Amy and Rob ~ All the best to you both as you embark on a new and wonderful chapter in your lives. :-) 

CaliGirlED said...

*gives standing ovation* That was absolutely beautiful!!!

CorettaJG said...

Nicely done.

MidWestDominicana said...

Don't know either of you beyond Bougieland, but I'm teary-eyed at the joy I feel for both of you. Congrats and God bless in your new lives as Mr. & Mrs.  It's a wondrous, amazing, exciting and fantastic journey that is full of all the best stuff with your favorite  person.  It's also some of the other stuff you've heard, too, but you get to write it all your own way, together.

All the very best to you both!! *throws cyber rice*

GammasWorld said...

Congratulations!  Loved your perspective :) 

AndreaPlaid said...

"Maybe its the Scorpio in me but I've always said that I'm not hosting a party for a bunch of kneegrows who don't like me anyway.

I'm a Taurus, and I feel the same way. As I told Rob, eloping is a good idea...this is one reason why. :-D

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