Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Let me change your mind


Bougie dwellers, beware. Tis the season for TapBack. For the BnB newbies - TapBack is the unfortunate occurance when someone you used to live with/date/smash/love reaches out to you, generally in hopes of well- tapping back. Summer is wrapping up. Those that did not net a summer boo are thinking ahead to lining up cuddle cocoa for the holidays. Watch your texts, emails, phones, tweets... or have someone do it for you.

Chilling with 3N, his Facebook email starts gong crazy. It's one of his exes. He waves me over to read the stream-
Her: Hey you! I was just thinking about you. Heard you left Denver, what else is new?
Him: If you found me on Facebook, you're pretty up to date.
Her: You ignored my friendship request
Him: We're not friends
Her: We used to be
Him: Really?
Her: Looks like you're in a relationship and you live in Texas. How did all that happen?
Him: The usual way. I moved, I met someone, it's working out. Great catching up, take care.
Her: What - are you scared to talk to me? I just want to say hi
Him: Hi
Her: I'm coming through Dallas in September, we should get a drink
Him: No thanks, listen I gotta go.
Her: You don't even want to see me?
Him: I'm straight
Her: Let me change your mind
Him: Let me be more clear - no interest.
Her: I don't even have your new number
He turns to me, "How do we block random people from emailing?" We worked that on out. The not so funny thing is, we had just finishing having the "exes who TapBack" discussion, her name was at the top of his list.

BougieLand, fess up - who's been hit with the TapBack call already? Who is contemplating making one of their own? Is it better or worse to launch a TapBack text? Thoughts, comments, insights?

197 comments:

sol_dier said...

I got 2 tapback emails and they both started off with something like: 'I know we didn't end on the best of notes but'
Tapback1: email from an ex from 6yrs ago. Tapback2: 'friend' who disappeared for over a year.
I didn't even stumble, deleted them with the quickness. Email account will be deleted at end of play todayonce i finish transfers.
I have no ill feelings, I've just moved on. I wish both of them amazing lives far far away from me
No country for old drama.

Jubilance said...

Ugh, I hate those. Mine started coming as soon as folks found out I was in a relationship - Tuesday you weren't checking for me but now you I got a man on Wednesday, you trying to put a bid in? Please go have several seats, thanks.

When it comes to the Tapback - Just Say No ppl!

Michele said...

"Let me change your mind"?  What in the fresh hell is that???

I don't engage in the TapBack. 

bashowell said...

Already had one TapBack from a "friend" before the summer was even out.  I'm expecting another from pizza boy dart playing ex.  He pops up every couple of years. "HEY girl!  What.is.UP?!"  "what."  "Surprised to hear from me?!"  "no."  "It's been awhile and I can't stop thinking about you." "who's this, again?" 

MsJamie14 said...

Her: Let me change your mind

Wow! Bold heffa! I hope she doesn't let the bougie fool her, cuz she's itching to get checked. LOL

How I handle tap backs? I make em feel kinda dumb for even thinking it was cool to come across my inbox/phone. That usually does the trick. I hate when people want to act like we're all cool, when we're not! Time heals, but it doesn't give me amnesia!

GrownAzzMan said...

Fortunately, I am outside the statute of limitations for any reasonable tapback. The comments should be fun though....

GrownAzzMan said...

SIX YEARS????? WDDDA?

Bonita Applebum said...

There's a SEASON for this??? What does it mean when it happens randomly throughout the year? o_O

Brneyed1 said...

Shiggity like this here is why I limit my interactions on FB.  My page is as locked down as much as ol' Zuck will let me.  Three of my exes are friends with a friend/relative of mine on FB, each of whom has tried the TapBack.  My response is standard:  "1. I'm in a relationship now, not that you asked. 2. You are an ex for a reason.  I suggest you think back on the reason you got that status and move on.  3. Do not call/email me again."

*sigh* such messiness.

Brneyed1 said...

"Time heals, but it doesn't give me amnesia!"  *ahem* THIS!

blackprofessor said...

This is too funny! Please tell me what are the statute of limitations that you speak of.

maureen said...

I just had 2 of my ex's try to pull tap back on me last week, first they wished  me happy birthday followed  by "can I take u out?" But you are married though (both of them are   married). Ignored the email then received a call. WDDTA

blackprofessor said...

This post is too funny and too timely! I have already gotten 2 tapbacks in the past 2 weeks and my usual response is to delete and ignore.  If they persist, block emails and phone calls. 

However, there is one condition which I will consider a tapback and it is usually folks for whom things ended amicably but it was just bad timing.  I will check the vibe to see what is up if they attempt a tapback.  

JoycelynC said...

That's why we wondered about the statue of limitations you speak of above.  Folks can come back out the woods at all times.

Brneyed1 said...

What is with the married TapBacks though?  One of my ex is married and came at me HARD, like he was single and free!

OwenCinDallas said...

I've been married to Jayme for 20 years,  last week a woman I dated in college found me on Twitter "Owen, hey - are you still married?" Not subtle. Not classy. Not appreciated. Decades old TapBack.

GrownAzzMan said...

The reasonable time period when one might expect a tapback. However, someone on here posted about a 6-year tapback so the committee may have to review the standards.

ShawnSoze said...

TapBack and cuddle cocoa. Bouge has its own language?

taut_7 said...

i get hit with it occasionally (read: a lot). sometimes i play into it. sometimes i don't. 

i have done it in the past. i'm not ashamed to say that i haven't. sometimes you just want to put feelers out there and see what's up. homegirl in your post just seemed a little parched. she should have gotten the clue early.

MsJamie14 said...

Wow! Please tell me she got the "Tiffany Green" face! LOL (

Brneyed1 said...

Yessir!

 @OneChele:disqus I think the next blog post needs to be the Catalog of BnB Common Phraseology.

Natasha Hunter said...

Seeing how my whole post disappeared I guess I wasn't supposed to say what I was going to say, but I will say:

That there is not tapback. What she did was so beyond. Once the friend request was not accepted, so should've endedth the pursuit.  IMO, that there is worthy of the term "ratchet", she was trying to be detrimental to 3N's current situation and that is NOT what tapback is about.

ShawnSoze said...

How is TapBack different from the 2:00am drink and dial booty call? Which I may have indulged in a time or two before. Don't judge me.

Pure Choco said...

Same thing. Though at least with 2:00 am drunken tapback, I'd know exactly what you were calling for.

Pure Choco said...

That's ridiculous and bold tot he point of scandalous.

Pure Choco said...

Thirst!

Jazzy Jazz said...

yes we do :D  

read this :http://www.blacknbougie.com/p/bouge.html

michaeldavis said...

Unfortunately, I think 3N may be a victim on the following show (I made this a few days ago)... 

http://www.yfrog.com/h8xs5ldj

Only1DivaC said...

My girls and I affectionately call this the "confessin' and burnin' syndrome" (yes, I just channeled Usher). We have determined it starts right after Labor Day and ends right around Valentine's Day. What I haven't figured out is if it didn't work out the first time why would the second go around be any different. So I've gotten handy with the ignore and delete button. However, it does get mighty irritating and highly offensive that they even thought it was ok to contact me in the first place.

michaeldavis said...

yes sir... the BougiePedia continues to evolve.

thinklikeRiley said...

*holds up lighter, clears throat, sing R-uh Kelly*
"I don't see nuttin' wr-ong, wi' a l'il bump n grind"

Tapback works if:
1. I'm single
2. You're single
3. We don't hate each other
4. You answered the phone, boo

Brneyed1 said...

I forgot about that post!!

maureen palmer said...

Ma'am..

Only1DivaC said...

Only Riley can put it into perspective. Tomfoolery right here!

blackprofessor said...

Apparently, it includes 20years given what Owen posted! SMH!!

blackprofessor said...

That is just downright tacky!

blackprofessor said...

I agree with Riley that if all these conditions are met, tapback might work.

TNDRHRT said...

I think I need to shout it from the mountain top!  I DON'T DO MARRIED MEN!  I don't care if you are going through a divorce, had a falling out with the wifey, whatever!  I am NOT the one!  My tapbacks (or tried to anyway) were exes who are MARRIED.  One is going through a nasty divorce and the other one JUST got married MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND!  Dude!  Going through divorce ex (gtde) calls at least once a month to see if I'm dating anyone.  Sometimes I say yes...sometimes I say no.  Sometimes it's true...sometimes it's not.  One call earlier this summer PISSED me off.  He:  (after the usual how are you's and shat):  Can I ask you a question?  Me:  Sure, what's up?  He:  Can we do it?  Me: Do what?  He:  You know? Do IT.  Me: Ahhhhhh....Um...no.  And why would you ask me some shat like that? He:  Taking my chances.  Just thought I'd ask.  Me:  Dude!  Go fugg your WIFE!  He:  I don't want to do it with her.  Me:  Oh well...that sucks!   Folks have lost their ever loving minds!  And we are not 12 years old.  Doing it??  Who says that?

Last week I get a text from just married dude.  He:  Hey!  Long time no hear.  Enjoying your new job?  Me:  Hey!  Everything is gravy.  How's the family unit?  He:  Here's my new work email addy.  I hit him up on it and he launches into how the wife seems jealous of him because he's been married before.  *crickets* LAWD!!!!  Why me????  I just tell him to work all that out so the marriage can last.  Dude, you're only3 months in.   Fast forward to this past Sunday.  I get a call on my home phone from HIM while he's at work.  He:  Were you ok during the hurricane?  Me:  Yes...I survived. LOL!  He:  Well, we were ok, but the wifey was getting on my nerves.  (Again, LAWD!  Why me?).  Me:  Hey...I'm getting ready for church and have to run.  Take care now. 

MCYBW said...

I truly pray to God almighty that I get zero tapbacks.  If I do, I'm sure it'll be an epic enough situation to merit my having a day on Bnb.  There were a few contact attempts over the summer, and each was blasted out of the water in short order.  That means there's only 2 possibilities for a tapback and neither will want to hear what I have to say to them.  #nocountryfortapbacks

Nicole said...

Tapbacks usually come when

1) you're in a new relationship
2) you decided to be happy by your damn self
3) when you have had a new body/life makeover

In all three cases, just say no and keep it moving.....you have evolved and what the tapbacker is tapping for is the old you that used to be with them......

and oh....I've gotten some 9 and 10 year tapbacks...so....

AnnettePearl said...

In the example of your girl with 3N, that's just tacky. Once she found out he wasn't interested and in a  relationship, she should have let it go. On the norm, sex with the ex is almost always a problem and more complicated than it's worth.

GuessImJay said...

Since you mentioned R-uh, I have to add stipulation #5 - She's legally of age.
IJS. bump n grind ain't worth jail time

GuessImJay said...

Since we discussed BnB rules of engagement, I'm not going to call you out on this one, bruh. That tickle you feel on the side of your neck is me side-eyeing the entire hell out of you though.

Jubilance said...

Right! And its desperate to keep forcing yourself on someone who clearly doesn't wanna be bothered with you. #thirsty

Angela said...

I have an ex who tries a tapback every time we randomly cross each other's path (every 3-4 years or so). One time he told me that I'm holding a grudge. I told him, "no, I just don't like you".

Sasha Iman said...

Bwaahaha, 3N is a G. That whole convo reeks of Bougeangsta... and desperation on her end.

"Her: Let me change your mind... I don't even have your new number" Really ma'am? Cue BougieLand Desperation commercial.

Anyways, I'm all about moving forward so TapBacks are a no go.  I don't answer calls, ignore all texts, and reply in a manner that shut things down quickly if ignoring the offender doesn't end the call and/or text onslaught.

I leave people in the past for a reason.

CaliGirlED said...

Just.wow! Before I converse with my fellow commenters below, I need to point out that this chick has no clue. She's beyond thirsty and is a special brand of stupid!!! WTH???....Chele maybe you need to respond to her next email. No need to go gangsta, just a simple "Dear Old, We would appreciate it if you would no longer attempt to contact 3N. Thanks, New". I know you said you blocked the email, but special brand of stupid may make another attempt.

CaliGirlED said...

There should definitely be a statue of limitations on the tapback. And if you were fowl during and/or after the relationship, then you are sentenced to life without the possibility of ever (forever ever) coming back!

CaliGirlED said...

Decades old tapback! *hollers*

CaliGirlED said...

 She broke all kinds of unwritten laws with that one!

CaliGirlED said...

Buyer Remorse?

CaliGirlED said...

And you don't know? This subject today can be filed under the Heauxnanigans category.

CaliGirlED said...

Not a huge difference, one you can easily blame on the alcohol. No judgment here. I've done the tapback and drunken booty call. Neither was worth it. *shrugs*

GuessImJay said...

What dude said.

GuessImJay said...

Thirst is year round, Sis.

CaliGirlED said...

#4 made me holler! LOL

GuessImJay said...

Just from that line "Let me change your mind"  I know exactly which of his exes this was. (hated. her. and I'm not a hating kind of guy) Let's just say all bouge is not created equal and Dave is on that come up.

CaliGirlED said...

"...what the tapbacker is tapping for is the old you that used to be with them." This is good!

Sasha Iman said...

It's people like guy 2, who's not even 6 months in yet already trying to step out, that makes me wonder if people think getting married is just another thing every reasonable person should do.... like buying a house.

Buying a house is not the right move for everyone, especially if you're the type to move every 2-5 years. Neither is getting married... especially if you're the type to want someone new every 2-5 months live ninja #2.

CaliGirlED said...

Let's recap:

"1) If you found me on Facebook, you're pretty up to date. 2) We're not friends. 3) Really? 4) The usual way. I moved, I met someone, it's working out. Great catching up, take care. 5) Hi 6) No thanks, listen I gotta go. 7) I'm straight 8) Let me be more clear - no interest." After ALL of these statements, she still came back with, "I don't even have your new number"!...Will someone please take her out to pasture and put her out of her misery!!!

BlackButterfly said...

"No country for old drama" that is priceless.  Try a 20yr old tapback that I had to block from my facebook!  Just sad.

michaeldavis said...

let's try this again... 

Natasha Hunter said...

LOL... Uh, If you're tapping period let alone tapping BACK and he/she's not legally of age... go directly to jail, do not pass go, do not collect $200 and set up an appointment with Dr. Jayme (if she will see you)!

Mykeia said...

Dead! Stop you just killed me!  I have to get soooome work done!

Mykeia said...

"The BougiePedia" good one!

BlackButterfly said...

What are Denver's laws regarding "trash" burning???  That was just all types of foulness.

Well as I was looking around I saw that Owen and I have the 20 yr old tapback in common.  I just don't understand.  It was if he saw 'single' on my page and misread it as the word 'stupid'. 

Him:  I was thinking of you and wondering how you were.  So how are you?
Me:  I'm great and I hope all is well with you. 
Him:  Well, here is my personal email and number if you want to call me.  Oh yeah I changed my name so if "Dude I don't give a..." comes up on caller id, if you give me your number, it's me. 
Me: o__O, delete message, block "Dude".

CaliGirlED said...

Epic fail at a tapback attempt:  So my girl was with me in L.A., from out of town, to comfort/support me during my father's passing. One of her boyfriends from high school (that we both went to school with) used that as an opportunity to tapback, and was trying to coordinate, "with us", a good time to stop by. It all came to a screeching halt when he said, "Tell your husband that is still my pu**y"! GTentireFOH!!! What in all of hell made him think that was acceptable?!! We were both appalled and disgusted by that statement and began ignoring his calls and texts! A few weeks ago she called me and told me that he sent her a text her and told her to give me his number. I told her to text him that she did, or not. Eventually he will get ignored enough by the both of us to get the message...No sir, you are not going to use me as your vehicle to tapback!

Mykeia said...

Soooo, what is with all these years old tapback? Owen, GAM, Nicole?  If someone hasn't been in your life over six months shouldn't you let that go?  No turning back?  Y'all help me out!  I am just stunned today.

Brneyed1 said...

#slapworthy

Jeannette said...

I got a tapback email on Sunday that went like this... copy and paste " I think of how we met from time and if things were different. We have come a long way by different paths. Stay blessed"

No sir, i'm not interested.  We aint kicked it since '97 and 14 years later... still not interested! LOL

Sarah said...

"Let me change your mind." 

Geez. She must think she is all that with a dill pickle and a bag of chips to borrow a friend's phrase. Even I can tell out here in the fogginess of cyberspace that Mr. 3N is head over heels falling off the cliff in love with Ms. Chele. Not happening.

I didn't realize there was a season for this. I know that people do get nostalgic around the holidays. I haven't ever called up an Ex hoping for a rematch. 

Jeannette said...

Thirst volume seems to escalate after thoughts of a fun-filled summer come to a close and semi-chilly nights of October and November are on the horizon.. 

Jeannette said...

Let me not even go there with the married tapbacks...  that's for the Bougie Knitting Circle to discuss.

Jeannette said...

You are right.. sometimes a tapback is right on time..

blackprofessor said...

Will someone please take her out to pasture and put her out of her misery!! - DEAD!! 

I like your new avatar, Caligirl.

Jeannette said...

Girl u know most women think their cookie can change a dudes' mind.  LOL

CaliGirlED said...

 Single, not Stupid! T-shirt worthy!!!

"Oh yeah I changed my name so if "Dude I don't give a..." comes up on caller id, if you give me your number, it's me."  See that special brand of stupid comes in his & hers!

blackprofessor said...

I can't stop laughing at these comments! There should be some rules to the tapback so that both parties can exit the interaction with some semblance of dignity, SMH!

Andrea M said...

I'm so confused. Why TapBack when you can get NewNew?
NewNew>>>TapBack all day.

Joy Andrews said...

Ummm - maybe, maybe not. With TapBack, the person already knows how to take you there. With NewNew you may still have to navigate.

Joy Andrews said...

Magical Cocoa - it's what's hot in the streetz. One sip and you're mine for life - BWAHAHA!

Trey Charles said...

Awesomeness.

Trey Charles said...

*blinking*

Trey Charles said...

Claiming a p***y is never a good look. Ever.

Trey Charles said...

I'd watch.

Earthangel172 said...

"Tell your husband that is still my pu**y"!

::dead::

Trey Charles said...

Right. Old girl was false advertising all the way around. Packaging = A+ but that was it.

Earthangel172 said...

Dizamn she is parched!  She knew 3N was in a relationship when she contacted him, ol' heifer! People always want what they can't have.

As for me, no tapbacks yet.

Trey Charles said...

NO do-overs.

Trey Charles said...

Do tell?

Trey Charles said...

Wow.

Trey Charles said...

You know you just jinxed yourself, right?

Earthangel172 said...

Agreed!

tishatweets said...

Gahhhhlee. Guess she got her face broke! Lol! I've dealt with the Tapback. It'll be what you let it be. You don't wanna deal with it, ignore the call or answer it and say nothin' doin.' But you have to be CLEAR about it. Many a relationship is ruined by the area in between "naw, I'm good" and "I'm good, what's up with you?"

CaliGirlED said...

Seasons for the TapBack and/or Securing-A-Boo. We'll call this the Ratched Year (you know like fiscal year?) And it starts June 1st with it's off season, in which having a boo is NOT the business!

Jun 1 - Sep 30: You are now single! (This is the time that they've been waiting for! It's on like popcorn, and you are not the butter they crave!) So be prepared for something to go awry in your relationship, cause he's outta there!

Oct. 1 - Feb 12: You have a Boo! (Now some guys will dump you right before the Super Bowl because someone is having the Ultimate Super Bowl Party and they anticipate meeting a new boo, to whom they won't be obligated to do much for on Cupid's Cursed Holiday (known in regular calendars as Valentine's Day). Also, don't be alarmed if you have a falling out right before Christmas (read he's CHEAP), he'll be back, right after New Year's.)

Feb 16 - May 31: He's back! (Until right after Memorial Day weekend, you know when the 1st BBQ of the year has jumped off, and thus begins a new year!)



Note: 
You may find similar behavior around your birthday, so mark your calendar
accordingly.


Disclaimer: 
Not all men follow this calendar, but if any of this sounds familiar...

JohnKinPDX said...

This is reason number 324912 why John is not on Facebook. I moved, changed phones, and cut off all contact with certain people and everybody who wants to talk about certain people.  You gotta stalk me to find me. And I'm a fan of the criminal justice system.
#ZeroTolerenceforShiggity

Javalicious said...

*DEAD* at "I'm a fan of the criminal justice system"

Javalicious said...

Some dudes have that built in GPS and need no direction at all. #Amen

Javalicious said...

You would think, right?

The_A said...

 Oct1-Feb12 the Annual Winter Boo Season as the hunting season winds down, the Thirsty are getting bold.

Oh, & might I take a moment to rebuke each & every one of you for putting this entire discussion into the atmosphere.

I just got an email....

*cues Florida Evans*

C Nelson said...

My rules for continuing a relationship are the same 2 years and 20 years out as they were the day we split: be honest about whatever it was we split over, truly make amends, and convince me it won't be the same in the future. If you can do that (and I'm currently available) we're good. If it sounds like too much work for you, then you sound like too much work for me, and my answer's no.

CaliGirlED said...

 Thanks!

md_KG said...

Ratched Year = fiscal year and the breakdown?.....OMG!! LMMAAAAOOOOOOO. iCannot.com

CaliGirlED said...

 And based on some high school stuff?!! Come on now! That kitty is no longer purring, it's roaring! *puts myself on timeout*

TheMochaPeach said...

UGH! I hate jokers like that.......

CaliGirlED said...

 Oh my damn!!! *fanning crazily* Did someone turn the AC off???

CaliGirlED said...

Laying next to Java! LOL

md_KG said...

Omg, I nearly spat my food at my screen....*howls with laughter* Girl!!!! You are on a roll today...LMAO!!!

AndreaPlaid said...

"Heauxnanigans?!?" 

Y'all keep me dead in BougieLand.

CaliGirlED said...

"If it sounds like too much work for you, then you sound like too much work for me." This.right.here is for any potential relationship! *writes that down*

blackprofessor said...

It depends! Some tapback is worth revisiting, I'm just saying!

Jubilance said...

That "ignore" button sure does work on phones...and so does "delete"...

CaliGirlED said...

Thanks for naming that season, I love it! Died at the Florida Evans cue!!! Sorry? *blames it on Chele*

Jubilance said...

I am so dead at his boldness

Jubilance said...

I once got a TapBack from an ex that was about to get married...He was on that Drake "you were the best I ever had, so I can stir the cocoa one mo time before I put a ring on another chick" flow...I get heated just thinking about it.

Mykeia said...

See, now...he's just wrong for that.  Just wrong.

Mykeia said...

No you didn't!  Dead from laughter!

Mykeia said...

I with you both!

BlackButterfly said...

Ewwww!!!  There needs to be a large can of Raid following him around because he is a roach for sure!

J B said...

I typically experience it in June.

Jeannette said...

yes lawds!

J B said...

Doesn't "tapback" imply there was tappage before?  Why you illegal tapping, Jay?

Jeannette said...

Puts $5 on your altar! skjflsjdmxnxns

BlackButterfly said...

*Flicks lighter on and waves back and forth*  Yes ma'am!

Jeannette said...

Yes that "sunshine" **throws it up in the air** lol 

Jeannette said...

LMAO! hilarious!

CorettaJG said...

3N gets points for clarity.  No confusion there.  lol!

My dad says, "desperation is unattractive."  I believe he is correct.

Jeannette said...

People only do stuff what worked before.. i'm sure she's managed to "change a few minds" in her day.. hmmm.

Brneyed1 said...

Do you clown like this out in the Twitterverse as well?? *goes to Twitter, looks for CaliGirlED's Follow button*

Brneyed1 said...

Why did I just hear the *Clang Clang* from Law & Order SVU in my head??

CaliGirlED said...

And in real life! Please be patient with me God is not through with me yet! LOL

CaliGirlED said...

EXACTLY!!! Even his! (IJS,  back  back in the day!) Damn!!! *runs from 3N*

Grace said...

So now I've got Tony Toni Tone's Thinking of You stuck in my head. Thanks, Chele.

http://youtu.be/l09WGRtkMV4

Bri said...

I have one regular tapback who has persisted in hitting me up every year around the same time for the last 6 years.  I don't know if he gets off on getting his feelings crushed every year or if he just does it to see if the answer will change. Last year I told him the answer is and forever shall be no...He went Steve Urkel on me and said he was wearing me down!
I. Can't. 

Mykeia said...

Six years of no...again, fail on his part.  Just fail.

David Chase said...

Ma'am?

David Chase said...

These comments doing the utmost.

Bonita Applebum said...

The fact I have an email AND text from two different TapBacks...and my best friend JUST texted me a text from a TapBack....

I BLAME BOUGIELAND. (-____-)

Jeannette said...

Candle light vigil for that one.. lol

AndreaPlaid said...

"Please go have several seats, thanks." 

Biting this, for the record.

AndreaPlaid said...

Biting this, too, for the record.

Bri said...

Thirst be thy name!

Earthangel172 said...

"This is reason number 324912 why John is not on Facebook."  #cosign

Deleted my FB acct in January.
best.decision.ever.

Earthangel172 said...

Bwahahahahahahahaha! CaliGirl you ain't right!

Earthangel172 said...

Girl I'm about to get fired fooling with you!

The Bunni said...

I, The Bunni, hereby confess that I have executed a TapBack  in my day.  HOWEVER, this chick slid on past tapback right into desperate and sad.  I mean damn heffa, you already knew 3N was in a relationship, have some pride!

Anonymous said...

Ugh! I hate tapbacks with a passion, in spite of having been a person who committed such crimes in the past. There was a person who was/is a serial tap backer, so now they can't post on FB and all calls/texts get deleted.

But, in the past five years, I've fallen victim to the tap forward phenomenon. A tap forward is when a person you were associated with in the past (not romantically) gets in touch with you on that "Soooo....what's up with you?" foolishness trying to see if they can get with you. No sir. Especially not when most of the tap-forwaders were engaged or married. If nothing convinced me to date you in the time we knew each other (cuz tap forwarders get cut off with the quickness) then the disrespectful attempt to get at me sure isn't going to do the job.

Sarah said...

You are being funny today :-) I hope this means your spirits are improving.

Hmm... if I think on it all the relationships but one did start in the winter. I've decided that February is the worst month of the year all round for either beginnings or endings. It could be Valentine's Day or it could be that I've always lived in climates with winter and by the time February rolls around nerves are strained. I've often thought I should take the entire month of February off and go some place warm and then come back in March when spring is starting and sanity returns.

Earthangel172 said...

::blank stare:: Oooh Jeanette you are too grown for me....LOL...j/k

SN: Harlem Nights was on BET last Saturday!

Brenda Kay said...

But if you're a good "teacher" NewNew will have you going place that TapBack only dreamed of...

Michelleg said...

No matter how ratched Old behaves, Chele doesn't need to respond.

Radio silence from 3N + living well with Chele = Old evenutally getting a clue. Or not. Doesn't affect the primary factors either way.

sol_dier said...

even I was confuzzled.  I suspect tapback has nothing to do with me and more to do with the ex seeking drama. Probably did tapback email with other ex's too.

Shrugs.. I'm over it. 

sol_dier said...

ouch. 
Yeah...  maybe we should have 'no country for old drama' beneath our avatars?. :P

sol_dier said...

I hope you didn't respond at all. All they need is a response to get them going. :(

sol_dier said...

me too .

sol_dier said...

Jesu Christi!. O_O

MCYBW said...

 I'm only going to say that it will definitely qualify as S.N.o.B.

mojitochica said...

You know I think I would have called his ass from a pay phone and cussed his ass out for a good ten minutes over that bullshiggity.

sol_dier said...

stop accepting the calls. This is one dude you cannot have as a friend, no matter how much you are keeping it friendly. 
To him, the act of answering his calls or emailing him is a yes signal. I wouldn't be surprised if he has assaulted a woman before because she 'danced with him'.

Be careful, but most importantly ... if I were you, I'd break ties completely.

sol_dier said...

I'm with MichelleG,
This is 3N's dept and he has handled it quite bougeously. He shuts it down. that is all.

mojitochica said...

3N's ex is beyond trifling.  3N is a gentleman.  That trick was asking to be told about herself...

I'm part of the married knitting club and use a pseudonym everywhere online, so no tapbacks received nor initiated here.  I'd say a tapback text is worse.  It's like not even trying.  You could send a damn text to your entire phone book.  At least put some effort into it.

mojitochica said...

Chele should not even think about dignifying that trick with a response unless that chick is crazy enough to bring her trifling ass to Dallas.

sol_dier said...

You picking up the call, responding to the email?.
To a few men out there, if you do this, it's an 'entry point'.

If you want to avoid it, just ignore completely. Don't respond, no matter how many times he calls. Just ignore it.

GrownAzzMan said...

So I have learned today.

Jazzy Jazz said...

yeah I think its time for an updated version

Singlelif said...

I've always been of the belief that exes are exes for a reason..that's not to say that every once in a while, a tapback won't have you doing the "walk of shame" at 6 a.m. on a Sunday morning..and ignoring all calls and texts Monday thru Friday.

*memories, light the corners of my mind..*

GrownAzzMan said...

Who is this Tiffany Green and what is up with her face?

GrownAzzMan said...

Not even in mid-stroke...

GrownAzzMan said...

And worse...

GrownAzzMan said...

They still have pay phones where you are. They have gone the way of the dinosaur here.

GrownAzzMan said...

You lef out (yes I said lef out) the annual Thanksgiving-Christmas go dark period. Can't be taking 'em around your mom an nem...LOL

EmmeJaye said...

I used to think ignoring dudes was rude, but after I explicitly told you and your friends I want no parts of you and you keep trying...."Ignore" *in my Awkward Black Girl voice*

GrownAzzMan said...

New New usually requires more work work...

GrownAzzMan said...

"Many a relationship is ruined by the area in between "naw, I'm good" and "I'm good, what's up with you?"

This is everything...

MsJamie14 said...

I tried to attach a pic of the face, didn't work. You can google it tho!

Veronica Miller said...

I tweeted Our Bougie Highness about the tapback I got last week -- "Sorry I've been a stranger... been thinking about you a lot...should've been around more..."

At first I was like, whuhuwhadda? But then I had a conversation with my girl about my love for cornfed Midwestern boys, and started thinking about hitting that "reply" button... (dot dot dot)

CaliGirlED said...

What about the Tap-that didn't happen-Back? If you couldn't get it when I was young and dumb, what makes you think you can now??? *runs back out of BougieLand to cook dinner*

tiffanyinhouston said...

This song is MOST appropriate for this post today!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nwyjxsOYnys

Veronica Miller said...

You know what's more awkward? The "Yearly Event" tapback. That's what happens when you're a participant in an annual event (for me, it's a journalism convention), and former suitors who also attend said event start trying to line up "coffee" or "lunch" in advance... or they just pounce on you in the middle of the Thursday night party, insist that you're lying about being incompatible, and tell you that you still have feelings for them... (oh, did that only happen to me? Nevermind.)

tiffanyinhouston said...

Soror, WHY ARE YOU STILL ENTERTAINING THESE NINJAS???????????????

GrownAzzMan said...

A wise man once said "you can never own, only rent".

Tonda Williams said...

WOO LAWD..You struck a nerve with this one. In the past 7 days, I've received the tap back text, call, EVEN used death as a reason to tap back....WDDDA?

No ma'am...No sir..I'm good. My response? "Although I choose NEVER to deal with you again, it is great to know you are well...Be Blessed~" (drops mic and RUNS away)

GammasWorld said...

Pass that fan -- (mumbles where *is* his number)?? 

CaliGirlED said...

 GAM!!!  You're right though, lol!

CaliGirlED said...

Right!

CaliGirlED said...

I have my moments Sarah, but I'm good. Today was one of those bored crazy days! LOL

CaliGirlED said...

LOL!!! Get it Gamma!

CaliGirlED said...

Umm...huh...I was just sayin...What had happened was...

GammasWorld said...

Girl he's the kind of ratched, no scruples, fine as hell, great cocoa stirring fool that would go for a tap back no questions asked ... and if I could take it to my grave, I'd probably go along with him LOL.   I'm going to bed.  I've never gotten kicked out of Bougieland. 

OneChele said...

"Our Bougie Highness" - done. 
Cornfed... never mind.

OneChele said...

Black MBA. There are at least three brothers I have to duck every. single. year.

OneChele said...

Our bad?

OneChele said...

There's a first time for everything. HA!!

Marioned said...

I guess how I feel about tapbacks depends on who and how things ended.   Some times it strokes my ego and other times I cringe!  There is a time and place for everything even a tapback.  In this case the tapback failed!

Jessica said...

I get the random attempted TapBacks throughout the year...I only wish it happened only one season a year! The worst was one who told me that he had really fallen for me and I messed him up when I quit talking to him..but he was distant when we talked which was a deal breaker for me...and now he wants me to call him if "I get lonely." Oh, and did I forget to mention that he wants me to ignore the fact that he lives with his babies' mama and their 2 kids--- the youngest of which is only a few months old! Just nasty!

Brittany Geneva said...

Ay yo she sounds SOO desperate, ew! Even if I made one, it would be with someone who actually a chance of being interested...

Natasha Smith said...

Last week, every man I've had any sort of relationship with in the past year decided to contact me. Tap back overload! Needless to say, within a few texts, I remembered why most of them were no longer in my life.

And re: 3N's ex...she's pathetic. 

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