Friday, August 26, 2011

Hurricane Hustle Rules - What you Need to Know


President Obama hopped on a conference call this afternoon to let all you East Coast Ninjas know... It's not a game. Irene ain't playing with ya'll. Guard yo' grill, love the one you're with, and cover yo' azz... ya hear?! And in case you're still catatonic from the little Shake-n-Quake Mother Earth gifted you with earlier in the week, I'm here for you. Here's what you need to know...

Things to buy:

  1. Water - If you have a spare bathroom, fill the tub with water. Buy as much bottled water as you can. Ignore your bougie instinct to buy a bunch of Fiji water, get those huge gallons of no name spring water and stack them up.  
  2. Flashlights - Candles are pretty but when wind commences to whipping about, do you really want to worry about things catching flame? If you are near a Home Depot, get some of those tap lights that can velcro to any surface, they run on one of two batteries. And speaking of which...
  3. Batteries, Batteries, Batteries! Cell phone, laptop, double AA, C & D. Trust. 
  4. Battery-operated radio. Cable goes out, satellites die after 14 rain drops, radio lasts forever. Find the weather band and make it your best friend.
  5. Non-perishable food items - sushi is not your friend in a natural disaster. Trail mix, energy bars, you get the idea.
  6. First aid kit - for obvious reasons
  7. Blankets - for obvious reasons
  8. Condoms - I don't know how long you might be trapped in the dark with folks, safety first!

Have these things mapped out:

  1. Evacuation routes - get out of town! The sooner, the better.
  2. House Preparedness - cover windows, find an interior room and put all your supplies there, figure out all methods of exit from your home
  3. One packed bag of necessities for three days - if you have to get out in a hurry, do not worry about Grandma Jolene's antique pearls. Grab meds, clothes, cosmetics, ID, cell phone, laptop and go. 
  4. One packed igloo - Ice on the bottom, bottled water and energy sustaining snacks on top. Lunch meat, cheese, and fruit pack quick and easy and will last for a day or so in a closed igloo. Granola bars are your friend.
  5. Phone chain - Already know who calls who to check in and when you'll make the calls. 
  6. Closest shelter - Find out where it is and what the capacity is. 

And now what you really need to know:

  • Folk lose their mind in a natural disasters. Make sure you know who your neighbors are and what they are really about. Don't be in the backyard battling because your neighbor's cousin decided to jack your car round midnight (these things happen).
  • Don't try and ride out the storm alone. Get next to somebody, but wait...
  • If you don't have a cuddle boo, don't try and scare one up in the next 18 hours. Worst case scenario - you are stuck with random one-night boo for days on end. Hurricane heauxnanigans can have lasting repercussions. In case you all missed the Snowpocalype warning tale - read up!
  • Entertainment. Cuddle boo not withstanding, if power goes out - figure out what you are going to do with yourself. Might I suggest books, puzzles, board games, cards, coming up with a way to reduce the national debt?
  • Should the situation get dire, do not (I repeat, do NOT) start sending out your final FU thoughts to people. I know someone who fired off his "I'll be dead so I won't care" emails prior to Katrina and uh... he's still apologizing. Just save your thoughts in a journal and keep it moving.
  • Get yo' mind right, people. We know it's stressful, but don't be the person who has to be duct taped to the chair or muzzled with an undershirt to ride out the storm. Just because the situation is unpleasant, doesn't mean you have to be. 
  • Prayer helps. Even if you're not a particularly religious person, when 105 mph winds whip down your street, close your eyes and call out to whatever deity you believe might listen. Really, what can it hurt?
  • Stay safe. I'm not saying don't play the hero out there. I'm just saying... survive and thrive.

Some jokes in here but seriously.... Prayers up for all. Please, please, please have a good and safe weekend. Oh, and if you need "real" tips: here you go

23 comments:

bashowell said...

I grew up near the water, so I'm good.  My roommate and I bought out an entire case of tap lights when Snowmageddon hit lol.  I'm hitting the store for more batteries right after work.  I'm just glad we have a gas stove so we can cook.

DCbywayofCali said...

Ha! Now that's what I needed before Pepco screws us all and the power goes out.  And thanks for the reminder of the Snowpocalypse cuddle boo. *shudders*

Deb B said...

*Hits print, passes out to clueless coworkers as I leave for the day.*

Jubilance said...

Great list Chele...

Another tip: Gather up all your important papers NOW, including insurance info, ID/birth certificates/passports/etc, bank info & put it in a plastic Ziploc bag. If you have time, take pics of your home/apt & store the camera or drive with the images in the bag too.

Oh & folks please conserve your cell phone battery - you don't know how long the power will be out. Don't be tweeting away & chatting through the storm & find yourself with a dead phone.

Cocoa Winston said...

I'm visiting a potential S/O in NYC this week, after quake and news of Irene - I was like... yeah, I'm heading back home to Seattle. He went "I'll come with you!" Oh dear. Let's see how this goes.

CaliGirlED said...

Great post Chele! A lot of great info mixed in with some good humor.

"...satellites die after 14 rain drops ..." This is the truth!

EmmeJaye said...

Good tips. I think every flashlight and D battery in Philly has been sold.  Tap lights sound promising. If not, I have water, bread, and granola bars; I think I'll make it.

SingLikeSassy said...

This is a clip and save right here.

maureen palmer said...

Thanks  for the list.  Will let u  know on Monday.

MCYBW said...

If you haven't gotten supplies (this is good for all)  I strongly suggest an all in one hand crank powered weather radio (mine has a light/am/fm/wb radio/phone charger all built in) and it charges via crank or solar power.  It would take a lot to revive a totally dead phone, but if one cranks for a bit every now and then you could maintain a battery. Be safe folks

tiffanyinhouston said...

If you have a BBQ pit, first bring it inside during the storm so it doesn't become a projectile and kill you. However, after the storm if you lose power, fire it up to cook up all the meat in your fridge before it goes bad. I don't have to tell you that need to keep matches around on GP, do I??

Hannington said...

Um, yeah. When the news media starts promoting an event like it's "Escape From New York Part 2," I'll always have my doubts. Especially since they've just reported that Irene's gone down to a cat 1. I'm not saying it won't cause damage, but Idk about acting like it's the end of the world yet. And naw, prayer ain't for me.

SassyJJ said...

Now, as the dedicated federal government employee that I am, please visit ready.gov to add to this extensive list Chele has provided for us!

My Sir drove up from NC to DC for some "pre-Irene" loving.  Eh, well, he's an Alpha so he was here for some of the King events, but I was reason numero uno to battle the elements! :)

SassyJJ said...

Be safe fellow East Coast Bougefam!

CorettaJG said...

Well at least being a Louisiana transplant in NoVA, I KNOW hurricanes.  They can keep these earthquakes though.  

thinklikeRiley said...

Eff dis. I caught the last seat headin' West. Home in LA wi' fam.

blackprofessor said...

So far so good! Really windy in my part of NC but hardly any rain or flooding.  No power outage either!!   My cousin, who lives in Miami, just called to tell me that now I am a hurricane veteran. Give me the harsh cold and snow of  the Midwest over hurricanes any day!

Brneyed1 said...

A fellow Fed in Bougieland!

sugahoneyicedtea said...

Be safe guys! Can I be glad I live in the Midwest? (Chicago, to be specific). *shudders thinking about Snowmageddon*

bashowell said...

Ditto!

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JAMES MCCOY said...

Great tips!

TheProdiva said...

Cut to the Monday after Irene......she wasn't all that! LOL! She did do a lot of damage, but she was totally overhyped!

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