Thursday, July 28, 2011

When love is not enough


Blogger's note - With the exception of the first paragraph or so where I talk about the past, this post isn't about me. I'm happy. I repeat, I'm happy. I know ya'll. One glance at the title and you'll be tweeting me and 3N asking if ev'thang is a-ight. It's good. Now.. let's begin:

I remember one tragic moment a few years ago when I realized that the man I loved didn't love me... enough. Oooo, it was a bitter bitter pill to swallow. After all the time, the talks, the emails, the texts, the up and the down, the fights, the make-ups, the "I only want to be with you" and the dinners and the trips and on and on... I finally (finally) figured out that though he loved me - he did not love me enough to be what I needed. To put me first. To make me Mrs. End All Be All. And I wept from the disillusionment. And then I got angry. And then I got moody. And then I got angry again. After time (after time after time), came acceptance.

I understand now that relationships need maintenance and brutal 100-point diagnostic tests. Years and years before the "he don't love me like he should" revelation, I should have figured it out. But somehow I was all wrapped up in the love story of it all. Romance will bite you in the azz, blind you and make you stupid if you let it. You can't be in love with love - it just doesn't work out. Love the person, love the relationship... not the idea of them.

You have to take a step back from the emotion and the cocoa and the laughter and say - is this what I want? Is this going anywhere? Am I getting what I need or am I settling thinking he'll eventually give it to me?

I say these things today after talking with a male friend of mine. He's been in an on-again, off-again relationship with the same woman for close to six years now. Watching them is like watching myself five years ago. Their relationship is long distance so when they are together it's all suspended animation. They exist from encounter to encounter. They don't have to handle any of the "tough stuff" becuase one of them always has a plane to catch.

They are now living in the same city and though they love each other... it's just not working. When it's not all hotel rooms and champagne from room service, things get seen in the light of day. Cranky mornings and tired afternoons and times of the month and "do your friends like my friends?" issues spring up out of nowhere. She's not in Vicki's Secret and pumps waving cinnamon massage oil at him first thing in the morning and he's on conference calls at midnight. On top of everything else, now that the shields are down they tend to disagree more often than they agree.

He called me all out of sorts talking about, "I love her but that's not getting it done anymore."

I actually wonder if he loves the real her, or the her he saw every other weekend for 72 hours in a cocoon. My Aunt Violet (who ironically never married) always said "If he loves you on your worst day when you're looking your worst way - he's the one. And then you have to decide if you want to be bothered." I remember wondering why I would ever listen to her about love - she'd never married so what did she know? Turns out quite a bit. I mean there's love and then there's love. And sometimes... it's just not enough.

When I told him that, he said "But without it, then what?" Well there's the thing. You have to have the love to get through all the other stuff but the other stuff can smother the love. I write relationship fiction, I'm just as guilty  of perpetuating the "love conquers all" belief as anyone else. I believe that love helps and love heals but even the greatest love needs a little bit of practical application to keep it moving. Long story short, it's not easy.

Anyone been in this place? Got some words of wisdom for Mr. It's Not Working? Know someone in love with love? Do share...

88 comments:

maureen said...

Preach. Guilty as charged. Just getting over a relationship that ended over 4 years ago. *Maureen you can surely do better than that.*

This.Right.Here:
“You can't be in love with love - it just doesn't work out” “Well there's the thing. You have to have the love to get through all the other stuff but the other stuff can smother the love”

Sarah said...

It is a painful place to be when you realize you have to leave a relationship with somebody you love. I've been there twice: once in my 20s and the second time 3 yrs ago. It wasn't that I sat down and wrote lists or consulted with others. I just reached the point where I had the realization and then I had to act. The first man eventually married somebody else. I hope he is happy. I haven't spoken to him in years. Last night, on a whim, I went running in the evening. I was singing to myself and feeling somewhat guilty that I was happy seeing as how the political situation is so fraught these days. The main reason I was feeling happy is because of the relief of being out of the last relationship and the realization that 3 yrs almost to the day since I left, I feel like I've almost bounced back. As painful as it might have been, I knew at the time and I really know now that ending each of those relationships was what needed to be done. My only advice would be to consult your instincts. If need be, go off to some quiet place where the chatter of life and the peanut gallery is silent. Sometimes they can be hard to hear, but, at least for me, they tend to be wiser than the rest of the chatter in my mind. 

David Parrish, Jr.(Inkognegro) said...

You know when someone isn't into you.  Deep down, its as plain as the nose on your face.

Denial River is a smooth flowing current, doe. 

Michele said...

This post came close to bringing a tear to my eye because I've been there.  Too many times.  Realizing that the one you love doesn't love you or vice versa ... it hurts.  Seriously hurts.  I rationalized and made execuses but all I did was prolong the inevitable.  I stayed in a relationship 5 years longer than I should have.  It just became unbearable but I didn't want to give up.  Sometimes we just have to wave the white flag.  If the love isn't there than there is no motivation to get through the bad times.  It just sucks.  If Mr. It's Just Not Working knows he's done all he can do and there's nothing left to do ... he may just need to let it go.

Lady Ngo said...

"If he loves you on your worst day when you're looking your worst way - he's the one. And then you have to decide if you want to be bothered."
Amen and a half to that!

Anywho, im in a ldr right now and one of the things im always telling people (including myself) is that when you inevitably relocate to the same city, everything basically is going to start all over again. Especially if you've never spent more than a weekend together. You're gonna learn just how messy they are on a regular basis, everything is no longer gonna be about romance, and you're definitely going to find yourself fighting way more. I think far too often people trick themselves into thinking that they know someone based on their phone/skype/email/chat sessions. But its not true. It's a false positive, if you will. You can never truly get to know the essence of the person until you spend a significant amount of time with them.

thinking that... said...

walked away a month ago after accepting / seeing it "as plane as the nose on my face" that he didn't care for me as much as i did him...  i miss him, but in time i know i am going to be all the better for doing what is right for my well being.... great post....

GrownAzzMan said...

Great post, good question. I don't have any answers. All I can say is been there - done that. Folded up the t-shirt and put it in a drawer. The long distance thing is like living and Disneyland. Eventually you realize that the happiest place on earth is not reality. 

Mony_Mony said...

Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt.  My "love isn't enough" moment came when I realized that although we loved each other, we just couldn't be true to ourselves as individuals and still be the person that the other one needed within the relationship.  And so we chose to go our separate ways.  I can't regret it because in many ways that relationship shaped who I am as a person and has helped me to clarify what I really want and how to weed out what I don't want.  I'm am a firm believer that love is just one component of a healthy relationship and like good cocoa or mutual respect, it is necessary but not sufficient to sustain things in the long run.

Reecie said...

I've been in love with love, and I've been in love for real. I have no advice I'm still trying to figure it out myself. good post. 

blackprofessor said...

Great post! Like my fellow posters, been there done that and have been on both sides! I have been the one who had to accept that he just didn't want me like I wanted him.  I have also been the one who had to admit that I wasn't feeling him. 

My last relationship ended because I just wasn't into him.  It was tough for me because he looked good on paper and is generally likeable.  The clincher was when I asked myself if I could be with him for the rest of my life without any passion on my part. Going forward, I am all about mutual chemistry, mutual respect and mutual interest. 

As far as long distance relationships, I think they can work but they require maturity and a lot of communication to build up the friendship.

blackprofessor said...

Amen!

lawsoncomp said...

I have also been to that amusement park and glad to know that I am in such good company.  I'm also here to say that it is possible to find a peaceful fulfilling life with another. Be gentle and good to yourself until you get there.

Brandon St.Randy said...

Too close to home to leave a deep comment

thinklikeRiley said...

Why ya got a bougangsta snifflin' back a tear and ish?
*puts Sade's Soldier of Love on repeat before storming out*

sol_dier said...

Years ago to set myself free, I finally told the truth.

I loved the idea of being in love. Love was supposed to come with passion & intimacy, Craved it. Sought it and Pretended to have it.
I mean, if I didn't feel it what would that mean?. Was my heart defective?. Was I strange cos what I felt was a 'need to love' as opposed to 'real-love'. I needed to share passion, tenderness, sentiment, joy. I thought love would come, or love meant being there, standing by, being down, building secret stories. - It doesn't.

For years and with a couple of partners I was in 'serious-like', described as their 'soulmate' (smh)  even got engaged. Most never left me feeling full. I realised it wasn't fair to them or me. 
Thing that still gets me is this: I am passionate, no doubt about that, but Love? as in the all en-compassing all accepting love like I love myself? .. that completeness? for someone else?. haven't felt that in a long time.  I guess thats why I love to see it in other people.*sorry for the ramble. 

Grace said...

My question is - what did they give you in Jamaica?! You came back going HARD in the paint.
I'm still sorta kinda living this so thanks for pointing out that my life is sucking right now.
Le Ouch.

Mykeia said...

Sadly I know a few people that have been in love with love because they have reached the age of 30 or more.  It's just train wreck productions.  Just sad. 

Cherelle Mattox said...

 "If he loves you on your worst day when you're looking your worst way - he's the one. And then you have to decide if you want to be bothered." This right here by Auntie Violet is the truth all day every day.  I've been through this twice in my 20's and it is not fun going through the pain and realizing that love sometimes isn't enough.   

Reggie Beasley said...

I call it "being in love with the idea of the person." I was into a woman recently whose stats were on-point, and we really were trying to make it work, but there was no chemistry. The "idea" of having her in my life was great, but the reality of having her in my life… well, not so much. And to be fair, maybe the idea of me didn't match her reality either. What really sucks? Every time I see her the idea of her gets me excited and I forget that the reality is that there is nothing between us.

Digital Eve said...

Six weeks ago I ended a two year relationship exactly like the ones on this post today. He was a commitment-phobe who felt guilty that he treated me like a FWB, and I saw that guilt and believed that he wasn't treating me like a booty call. 

Ugh, I feel so stupid for believing him over myself, and really I wanted him to be the one. In theory he's a good guy, a really good one, but in practice he has lost his way and doesn't know how to get back.

The mother of his child hurt him so severely that he spent the last 15 years trying to built iron walls around his heart, and when I came around, he didn't want to do that anymore but he forgot how to be trustworthy, intimate and emotional. I being captain-save-a-bro leapt to the rescue and made it my task to get him to love again...how Harlequin romance of me. Of course I ended up hurt and he ended up more determined than ever that relationships weren't for him. Now he says he will be a bachelor for life because that's who he is...never mind that the only people in his life he cares for and trusts are his son, and his mom. I feel for him, no one should have to go through life alone. 

I, on the other hand, are so hurt that I am staying away from men for a long time; until I can figure myself out more, and improve my man-o-meter a bit.  :(

Earthangel172 said...

Now this will preach!

Earthangel172 said...

Right?!

I'm going thru the same thing.

Can I at least get some Neosporin with a Band-Aid because Chele is opening up some old wounds today.

SassyJJ said...

Maaaaaaaan, this post right here???   I need a moment...

ASmith said...

I've seen relationships between two people who love the sweet American Jesus out of each other fall apart and I've seen relationships between two people who seem to only kinda like each other stand the test of time.  That's surely not to say you can't have both, because you can -- but it is to say that it's true: love isn't enough and that's a tough lesson to learn, because aside from personal experience, it's not something you really hear all that often.  In fact, we're basically told the opposite.

I've also learned that some people never really find space to love the other person because their love of love takes up too much room.  That sort of idealized romance is pretty obstinate and unyielding and if there's one thing functional relationships require, it's flexibility and adaptability.

I spent 4 years and some change trying to make love be enough.  Enough to change him, make him better, fix him (and I don't mean fix him like make him stop snoring, I mean fix him like make him stop being depressed).  In the end when I had absolutely nothing to show for all that love and care, the ONLY answer I had was that love just must not be enough.  Biggest daggone slap in the face ever.  Cause then I was left thinking if love ain't enough, what is??

*sigh*

MichelleG said...

The only advice I can give is the bitter pill I've had to swallow myself. Once you even question yourself then you already know the answer. Life is too short to hurt each other with good intentions out of obligation. You can have 5 years behind you & know that you tried or 10 years behind you with hurt/anger (& possibly a child) blocking out what was once good between you. Let her go with love.

Sasha Iman said...

Hmm, I prefer not to put my $0.02 in when I know not of what I speak.

I will say this though, I'm quick to tell a friend "It's time to move on" when it comes to a bad relationship. I'm even quicker to spot when a friend is in love for all the wrong reasons, confusing love with something else, or just plain using love to excuse too. damn. much.

What I've come to realize however, is it's easy to tell when a ship is sinking, and it's time to abandon ship. It's just hard as hell accept, and subsequently do, when you're co-captain and thought that ish was the Titanic..... Jesus be some objectivity should I ever get caught up. 

Pure Choco said...

And when you start telling yourself that your love is enough for the both of you... just get out. Really. I mean it. Trust me on this.

Jesse said...

Had a woman tell me (after I told her I didn't feel that way about her) that her love was enough to cover us... uh - no.

FreeBlackMan said...

People act like love is some great magic blanket that covers and cures everything, it's just an emotion. Its job is to guide your actions. But it comes and goes like anything else.

AishaOaktree1122 said...

told my sister the same thing the other day, love makes life's hardships  bearable it doesn't fix everything, despite what disney tells you.

Mony_Mony said...

"Life is too short to hurt each other with good intentions out of obligation."

This is the truf!  My ex and I might have been able to end things as friends if we let go a lot sooner, instead of trying to make it work when that would have required us to become different people.

BlackButterfly said...

*Commenting after checking to see if my journals were still safe and secure*

That long-distance- love-affair-relationship beginning was hitting to close to home!  Add the history of growing up together around each others families --as the sauce on top of that masterpiece-- and you have the makings of a TOO LONG drawn out game plan for heart destruction.  So after you accept it, you mourn the loss and then you eventually are able to move forward and although there is not a specific timeline, you don't want to spend so much time believing that that is all there is, because it's not! 

I know that I am a person that enjoys investing the time it takes to get whatever it is I want if it gives me what I need in return.  I love homemade desserts and I will do ALL the labored and detailed tasks that it requires at times for the outcome I want.  If I am not willing to do those things to get my preferred outcome then I don't really want it.  If you or the other person are never interested in the details of the other then it's a wrap there is no getting beyond it-- there is just getting out and then getting on with it.

NY2VA said...

" You can't be in love with love "
And with this being said, the doors of the church are now open.  

maureen palmer said...

*on my way to CVS*

SingLikeSassy said...

Love is not enough. You need to LIKE your mate. Trust me on this.

NY2VA said...

The million dollar question is this: If s/he does not change one bit from today on, could I live with him/her?  If the answer is no, then it is time to move on.  If you have a laundry list of things that need to change, it ain't gon work, unless maybe they are already on your mates' radar as self-identified growth areas.  However, if you need him or her to change in some very fundamental ways, it ain't happening.  People can make changes for the better, but folks can't really change who they are.  If you need your mate to change who they are, then you need to walk away.

JaymeC said...

People come to see me all the time saying "We love each other but..."
That "but" is always problematic

Mr. Skyywalker said...

*sits on bleachers taking notes*

Starrla said...

Many times we know that love is not enough...but we are so scared of being alone that we hold on to a half assed piece of relationship. I need my "I've been there and done that and all I got was this wounded heart" coffee mug and as an emotional ass woman I know that until we are sick and tired of being sick and tired, we ain't going no damn where. Even though we fuss and complain about how much this man "ain't shit" and how he's not living up to what we want him to be...ultimately we are still waiting for him to magically transform into our Prince Charming. You can preach about what you wouldn't do "if it were you" but to a woman who's not DONE, it's a waste of breath.

Leon X said...

We have fallen in love with the idea of being in love instead of putting in the work love needs. It's a mix of what society tells us and our own selfish desires. "Love, love is a verb." - Massive Attack

NY2VA said...

The first year of my marriage was TOUGH for this very reason.  We were in a ldr, got engaged, and got married.  We didn't live in the same city until we actually got married.  That day to day living in the beginning was a BEAST.  If we weren't already married, I don't know if the relationship would have made it.  However, we adjusted, and fast forward many years later, we're still together and we still love each other.  But yeah, that newfound close proximity is essentially a warm reboot.  Everything isn't lost, but a lot of stuff starts all over from the beginning.  

tishatweets said...

Some huh? Poor misguided soul she was. LOL

tishatweets said...

Girl say this!!!  I often wonder how different I would have been had I accepted the truth and acted accordingly a lot earlier than I did.

Angel Blanca said...

Initial thought: Tattoo this, "Love the person, love the relationship... not the idea of them," on your *insert appropriate location here*

tishatweets said...

Man, look. In the end? After all hell (literally) has broken loose and you're both bruised and battle weary? You shouting "but I looooooooovedededed him/her though!" won't change not nary a thing. Matter fact, that and $2.00 might you get you a McDonald's Mini-Meal. Pre-tax.

tishatweets said...

Gte out my business, hear? If THIS ain't exACTly how I was feeling yesterday regarding someone! I had to tell myself "but Tisha, you don't really like him, though? Remember?" LOL

Andrea M said...

Love don't pay no rent. And bills is high.

Andrea M said...

Um-hmm. *rocks back and forth on my pew, waving fan with picture of Malcolm X, MLK, Tupac and Biggie sitting with Jesus at the Last Supper*

tishatweets said...

"My last relationship ended because I just wasn't into him.  It was tough for me because he looked good on paper and is generally likeable.  The clincher was when I asked myself if I could be with him for the rest of my life without any passion on my part. Going forward, I am all about mutual chemistry, mutual respect and mutual interest."

This. Here.

Andrea M said...

Um-hmm. *rocks back and forth on my pew, waving fan with picture of Malcolm X, MLK, Tupac and Biggie sitting with Jesus at the Last Supper*

Andrea M said...

4 sips of coffee at Starbuck's.

tishatweets said...

Yep. Too, some of it (maybe more than some) is pride. We get all indignant like...."I know EYE didn't pick the wrong one! Hmph!" Uh....you did. And that's okay. Adjust your radar and do better next time.

Andrea M said...

*pours a lil sumthin out for da homie Riley*
Bougangtas need lub too

Andrea M said...

See now, that's real.

Andrea M said...

And the happiest place on earth is expensive as hell. Both in the literal and metaphorical construct.

Bryan Anthony said...

Long distance relationships are not for the faint of heart. It takes commitment, dedication and prayer to whatever deity is listening. The first 16 months of my marriage were spent 1400 miles apart and as hard as that was, being back in each others' space 24/7 - we almost didn't turn that corner. It's like re-learning the person from jump and if you don't like what you see and love what you don't? Good luck.

C Nelson said...

Ooh. *wince.* I've ... been there. And am terrified of being there again, so when the fiance and I started this relationship, knowing we were going to be long distance for a long time, he booked a 3-month leave and we spent most of it in my (shared) apartment, with me working my regular hours. Essentially, a 15-foot-by-20-foot bedroom with a tiny attached bathroom and a loft-type hallway that was open on one side to the shared living area below. Did I mention my roommate was a masseuse whose clients were in and out and a salsa dancing fan with a group that met several times a week at the apartment? I figured if neither one of us had thrown the other over the half-wall by the end of the visit, we had a chance. I still didn't really relax till we had our first dozen arguments under our collective belt, and I'm still expecting ... adjustment ... once we step off that plane, look at each other, and realise neither one of us gets to log off for the night anymore, forever after.

Deb B said...

*looks at journal, looks at post, does double take* Wow. I JUST wrote "Love is not enough" at the top of that page. Let me sit here and let all of this sink in for a second.

Deb B said...

BTW, thank you for the disclaimer. I saw the title and was like "NOOOOOO!!!" LOL

GrownAzzMan said...

*fist bump*

GrownAzzMan said...

"waving fan with picture of Malcolm X, MLK, Tupac and Biggie sitting with Jesus at the Last Supper"

Must have been at my funeral cause you killed me with this one...LOL

CorettaJG said...

Exactly. If nothing about them ever changed, could you still be with that one? That's the main question for me and that I think about it when considering the "where to go from here" questions.

But I also recognize that we're in a culture that likes to have it our way and have everything feel good all the time. We throw in the towel easily because we don't like something.  Relationships are work.  If you're going to have a long-term successful one, you gotta put in work and it's not going to "feel" good all the time.

That's my 2 cents.

La said...

Maaaan, have I been here. Moving on when things are awful and falling apart and someone cheated and someone lied? Piece of cake compared to letting go when there is real, genuine love there... and it's just not enough.

I've never been one to subscribe to the theory that love conquers all. Love might be the thing that brings you together or makes you want to try harder than you might if you weren't so invested, but the WORK is what keeps you together. Love is just what makes it worth it.

I've been where your friend is. The LDR that seems great when it's all amazing cities and great hotels and new restaurants to make memories in. But the everyday stuff, the who the hell left the dishes in the sink stuff? That is what's real. And if you can't make that work, all the time invested and great trips in the world won't overcome it. I learned that the hard way.

La said...

"I've also learned that some people never really find space to love the other person because their love of love takes up too much room. That sort of idealized romance is pretty obstinate and unyielding and if there's one thing functional relationships require, it's flexibility and adaptability."

*drops money in the collection plate*

Look. ALL OF THIS. So many people cling to the idea of what love "should" be according to what they've heard or seen other people do or watched in movies. Never bothering to define what works for them, makes them happy, makes them feel loved. And then they are shocked, SHOCKED when someone else cannot fit that impossible definition.

jcam said...

I think I understand where you're coming from Chele. I think you're saying that two people can have great affection and appreciation for each other - but in the presence of all those wonderful emotions there has to be something else - the dedication to work through the rough days and the unlovable parts of a person - to see love not just as a feeling but as a verb maybe? To demonstrate that Corinthians 13 kind of love.

Linnon said...

Someone said to me many years ago, "Love is not a feeling, love is a choice."  So many people are in love with either 'being in love' or 'the idea of a person' that 'When love is not enough' can't be dealt with because 'love' doesn't even exist.

I think the problem that exists, when people think of love as an emotion or a feeling, is that they expect it to be.  That is, they expect love to exist, and even grow, even though they don't do those things that are required on a regular basis to nurture love.  Not the least of which is understanding, and acting on, the other person's desires.

blackprofessor said...

Amen!

SingLikeSassy said...

If you're going to have a long-term successful one, you gotta put in work and it's not going to "feel" good all the time.<--THISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS right here.

blackprofessor said...

If s/he does not change one bit from today on, could I live with him/her?- THIS RIGHT HERE!! 

Linnon said...

You can't change or fix, a man, even if you think it's for the best.  That being said, I don't think there is an intelligent guy out there that doesn't think the right woman can help him be a better man.  He has to be able to see it.

Jubilance said...

I've always said the love part is easy. It's the liking that's hard.

Diana said...

Sort of on topic - You once said you were a musical theater buff - what's the musical with the song about falling in love with love?

Jubilance said...

"I have been the one who had to accept that he just didn't want me like I wanted him." - This was prety much my entire 2010 and part of 2011. And it HURT, to feel rejected & unwanted & unloved & unappreciated. I took a big hit, but I've finally dusted myself off & gotten back on the horse.

CorettaJG said...

I concur.

OneChele said...

Oh, you mean my former theme song?
Rodgers and Hammerstein's Cinderella:"Falling in love with love is falling for make-believe! Falling in love with love is playing the fool! I fell in love with love with love ever-lasting. But love fell out, with me."

Diana said...

Wow. That's impressive. I bow to your musical knowledge.

OneChele said...

BougieSis and I were deep into Rodgers and Hammerstein back in the day. 

SBChitownChick said...

*mumbling* I only knew this because of the Cinderella musical with Whitney and Brandy back in the day.

Singlelif said...

Reality sucks big rocks ! I think this works both ways..for men and women. I've been the object of another's supposed love, but he was too scared to tell me until AFTER I left town and relocated.  Then he showed up at my work and by then it was too late..Quire simply, Love is alot of work.

I am of the belief that you cannot truly love someone unless you choose to.  I believe you have to make the conscious decision to share your whole self - good and bad. Add to that at a genuine desire to be committed and monogamous and make the decision  to be responsible to and for that other person. I believe you have to love them when it hurts and thru the hurts. Only then, can you have the love that Mary J. Blige and Method Man spoke of..

Nickoletta80 said...

Actually, love alone is never enough. If all you have is love holding you together, your relationship will probably fail. What happens when "life" happens? An older woman once told me that her Dad told her, "Baby, it takes more than love to make a relationship/marriage work. It takes a commitment." And there is a big difference between loving someone and being committed to someone. Sure love will get you to most of the relationship milestones, but it won't keep you. There are several people in this world who love each other with all they have, but know good and well they can never be together because all they have is love for one another. And that's where the similarities end.

GammasWorld said...

You're on fire this week!  Yeah at almost 50 been there done that too with this one.   Never will forget a friend sharing the message from his pastor about love and relationships:  "takes more than he's cute, I'm cute.  I like ice cream .  He likes ice cream.  I love him and he loves me".   All fine and dandy til real life enters the picture and you've got to have more than all that to get through it. 

Penny said...

Right behind you.

Leon X said...

I just wanna shout out MGM's "That's Entertainment" movie from back in the day. Man I loved that.

OneChele said...

À classic!
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

C W said...

^^^ You got that right.

C W said...

Yep.  Same here.

C W said...

I like that about the man-o-meter.

Lanhead said...

Now I know I'm EXTRA LATE to this topic (I was on vacation), but I just wanna still chime in. What I see everybody (or a lot) of people saying is that "love isn't enough". What kind of love are you talking about? If God is love is He not enough? He is for me. I think that a lot of times we focus on the eros (erotic/emotional) side of love, when we should spend more time on the agape (unconditional love). The agape love doesn't look for anything in return and tends to accept people as they are. If we could hone in on this, we'll all be better off. 

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