Tuesday, July 26, 2011

She was crazy when you met her, sir...


Stop for a minute, before all of the mental health advocates and professionals come at me sideways... I'm using crazy as a subjective term referring to folks that are a little bit out of control and a whole lot out of pocket. I'm not mocking mental illness, okay? Okay... let's move on.

Next disclaimer: yes, I know a lot of women date deranged-azz men but this post isn't about them. Umm-kay? Here we go.

Lately, I've been hearing a lot (I mean a lot) about these wack-a-doo (technical term) chicks and the fellas that date them and live to regret it. Women are cutting off body parts, poisoning food, calling jobs, lighting fires, trashing cars, pouring bleach on clothes, straight stalking, I mean it's out of control. And yet, they keep getting booed up while the rational ladies who are content to sit home on sandwich night watch from afar. I don't get it. And I really want to, so I'm asking the question.
Dear fellas,
Please help me to understand. All the beefing and b*tching about your crazy ex-girlfriend, wife, baby mama... cease and desist. Immediately. She was crazy when you met her. Something about her was just a little bit off-center. That level of ratchetassness does not manifest overnight. No woman wakes up on a Saturday and says "I'm going to shoot the tires out of Jeffrey's car today" just for kicks. No sir. She has shown signs of bullet-happy property destruction before... you chose to ignore it. 
*nods* I get it though. It was hot when she was standing on the bed in a thong pouring lukewarm honey on Mr. Happy. One hundred candles is sexy when the cocoa is on point. Never occured to you that a woman so eager to slather your jewels with heated substances might use that against you some day? (Reference Al Hot Grits Green please) Never thought that anyone who would take the time to light 100 candles might be a little fire-giddy? Umm-hmm.
There's always that girl who's a little quick to go off in the mall if some other woman looks at you twice. She's a little too concerned each and every time your phone beeps. She's all about you, baby. Have you ever stopped to wonder just why she's soooo into you in such a short period of time? Put your ego in park and think on it.
Lookie here. I'm sorry to be the one to tell you fellas this. I really am. You know OneChele loves the menfolk. I really do. But if your woman is crazy it's for two reasons: 1) She always was or 2) Someone (could be you) drove her there and dropped her off. 
Riddle me this though, guys - why do you keep hooking up with these off the chart chicks? I'm talking about women that have displayed their crazy before. Do you think you have the magic cure? Were you seriously just blinded by the cocoa? The bing-badda-boom? Have we learned nothing from the prophetic words of BBD - "Never trust a big butt and a smile"? 
Gents. Please explain. Thanks, 
OneChizzle
Inquiring minds want to know. I know so many women who meet you guys right after you've come from Crazy Chick and they just want an answer... why? What is crazy chick doing right? Can anybody shed some insight into this? Anybody, anybody?


BTW - if you thought this post was over the top, you should have seen what I originally wrote when the title was "Why do hoes get chose while good girls take up knitting?" Yeah, it was rough.

268 comments:

1 – 200 of 268   Newer›   Newest»
Reads4Pleasure said...

I'll just be over in the corner knitting, eating kettlecorn & drinking a Pepsi while I wait for the justifications for crazy to come pouring in.

Anonymous said...

...This surely won't apply to all situations, but I think a lot of men get into these relationships because of unresolved issues with their mothers. Some feel the need to 'fix' or 'heal' these women because they grew up seeing similar traits (or ones they thought needed fixing) in their mothers....

..Until they confront these mother-son issues, they'll end up in the same types of realtionships...

But hey...I'm no expert....just a dude who's been there...and trying to sort out his own stuff...

GammasWorld said...

I tried knitting but couldn't quite get the hang of it.  

Jubilance said...

Chele I'd love for you to publish "Why do hoes get chose while good girls take up knitting?", thanks.

Especially since I'm one of the ones sitting at home knitting, literally.

Jubilance said...

Did you take a class or try to learn from a book or video? I took a class last year & having someone work with me really made the difference.

Cherelle Mattox said...

Good post, I've always wondered the same thing.  Let me grab a sit, some peach tea, and my knitting supplies while the fellas explain this one.

mickmicki said...

Not a fella, but the prevailing thought amongst the knitting circle that I belong is...erm.  Crazy, um, "cocoa packet" is the best cocoa packet.  It is exciting.  It's wild.  It's unpredictable.  Nothing more exciting than dodging knives and then turn around and have make up cocoa.  Hot boiling EXTRA chocolatey make up cocoa.

I believe it.  An ex told me that his girlfriend tried to hit him with a car.  She ended up hitting a tree.  The police came.   The ex said that she was trying to commit suicide and had her locked up in a psych ward.  He had the nerve to ask me what his next move should be.  My response?  "It is time for you to settle down.  I think that you should propose.  Wife that."

lol

Look forward to the responses...I need something to take back to da circle.

GammasWorld said...

I didn't take a class ... maybe I'll give that a shot since crazy stays winning in my neck of the woods. 

Jubilance said...

I took a class through my city's Parks & Rec dept. It was like $30 for 4 weeks and it really helped, you should try it.

Nikki said...

I can relate. I see unstable women in relationships all the time. IDK I guess I need a new hobby... knitting sounds nice, lol.  I am so stealing "why do hoes get chose"

Afro WinterNights said...

I have heard to many versions of this story right here. Lord have mercy on my judgmental, man bashing soul but I feel no ounce of sympathy for men like that. When you end up pee-pee less then you will wise up.

Rob said...

*moonwalks into BougieLand* I never dated crazy. I'm marrying ridiculously sane. That is all. *drops mic*

blackprofessor said...

Chele, please know that I am stealing "Someone (could be you) drove her there and dropped her off." Gracias!

I think the number one culprit is the unchecked ego coupled with low self-esteem. There are so many people (women and men) running around with unchecked egos and low self-esteem that the slightest drama (read attention) validates their need to feel important.  It makes them feel good and better about themselves so they constantly seek it out, which becomes a vicious cycle. 

Mr. Skyywalker said...

I had to laugh. Fine, I admit to dating an out of the box, out of pocket, I carry a switchblade and I could kill you chick in my past. What's hilarious is that the woman I married this year knits.

As for why - well, it was fun at the time. Until it wasn't.

Javalicious said...

Al Hot Grits Green?!
iQuit you.
Until later.
Because I have to see what the fellas say about this.

thinking that... said...

i don't knit, but i do quilt so i'm just gone sit over here work on this quilt and wait for the men to respond....

Jesse said...

Fine, I'll say it:
Sometimes the fineness combined with the proper bed game temporarily blinds us to the crazy.

bashowell said...

I can't knit worth a damn.  *picks up latch hook and waits for BnB fellas to respond*

Brandon St.Randy said...

"But if your woman is crazy it's for two reasons: 1) She always was or 2)
Someone (could be you) drove her there and dropped her off."

Speaking for myself, I think it's a bit of a cop-out when people blame others for massive personality defects. It's taken in stride that if a woman is crazy, gold-digger, unpleasant, etc, it's because some man made her that way and she was a perfect little angel before she got her poor heart stomped upon by JaMarvin. But on the flip side, men aren't given the "some woman made him that way" defense if they're misogynistic, distrustful, hoe-ish, etc. It's just a personal weakness for which that man should be responsible for fixing, whether it's self reflection, counseling, or sitting down somewhere. I think what's good for the goose is good for the gander.

Jeannette said...

Passing out some Village Tea to the Knitting Circle.... sipping on some Cherry Rooibos while i lurk.  LOL

Mony_Mony said...

The craziest chick I know always had a man and had been engaged twice.  (Some) guys just love the crazy...

OneChele said...

I've always said that trifling sisters tick me off because I've met the men they messed up. So it's definitely a two-way street. Even though this post wasn't really about that. :-)

derek love said...

Hi. My name is Derek and I dated, married, impregnated, and divorced crazy.
I really didn't think it was that bad. I thought she was spontaneous, a little moody and unpredictable. Not necessarily bad things. 20 miles an hour crazy is totally doable. Especially with the hotness factor mixed in. But then she went all Mach 2 crazy and I had to get out.

http://youtu.be/ccenFp_3kq8

Pure Choco said...

Exactly! Craziest chick I know stays booed up.

Pure Choco said...

Thank you. This is as I suspected.

Pure Choco said...

You just know that post was full of awesome.

Mony_Mony said...

The problem is that nobody stays at 20 mph crazy.  If you see a little crazy before the wedding, nine times out of ten there's a lot more crazy lurking beneath the surface (both for males and females).

Brandon St.Randy said...

yeah, I totally didn't respond to the question.

In terms of why, crazy generally creates adrenaline which is easily confused with emotional attachment. Driving 65 on the highway in an Accord with leather is cool. It gets you where you need to go. It's safe. But for some men, there's just no substitute for blasting down the beltway at 150 MPH on a Hayabusa. Despite the fact the fact that there's a closed casket funeral everyday for someone whose bike ran out of room when a tractor trailer switched lanes.

ktc said...

My best guess is something keeps pulling them towards crazy. I don't know if they love knowing she'll always be around, enjoy being the "sane" or "wanted" one, don't see that by staying you're just reinforcing the idea that those crazy actions keep people or really really have a savior complex. But I do know  they are getting some type of needs met (no matter how dysfunctional it appears or if it gets in the way of  what they really say they want).  But then again, you asked the fellas so I'll wait and listen.

OneChele said...

I'm partial to the Mintastically Mint flavor blended with Vanilla Rooibos.

SingLikeSassy said...

*pops Orville Redenbacher into microwave, pours Pellegrino into glass, settles in*

MeetCharlieL said...

Same reason we buy $150,000 cars and drive 100 on the freeway, race each other on a Monday afternoon, refuse to ask for directions and stand over the open flame when we add lighter fluid to the charcoal. It's a thrill. We're men, dammit. We have balls and we think we can handle it. Sometimes we can, sometimes we can't.

maureen said...

Alright then.. *brings 3 legged chair & set camps in the middle of BnB*  Menfolk please watch your steps, please don't step on  a sister.

SingLikeSassy said...

"It is time for you to settle down.  I think that you should propose.  Wife that." <--*Dead*

Earthangel172 said...

"Never occurred to you that a woman so eager to slather your jewels with
heated substances might use that against you some day? (Reference Al Hot
Grits Green please)"

do.not.resuscitate. ::dead::

You are on it today Chele. I agree that if the cocoa stirring is hot and steamy, grown folks will overlook all the warning signs. I don't do crazy. LOL

Grace said...

The picture is everything. *sits down next to BnB Knitting Club to get a lookie-loo on*

Jubilance said...

I'm working on a scarf too, for my sister. :-)

Michele said...

You answered your own question.  Cocoa is a helluva drug.

I don't knit but I do crochet. **sigh**

grin and bear it said...

It's a good question. I've often wondered why men are so intrigued by women who are, shall we say... more than a little rambunctious? Yes, I get it. There is a thrilling sexiness about the unpredictable, the dangerous, but isn't there a point when you say enough? I've heard men say they want sweet, demure and charming, but have also only ever seen them pig out on a consistent diet of sassy. Why is that? I mean, personally, I've had men shift into reverse overdrive when they've...caught me on a bad day. They had no interest in me when I was charming, flirtatious and approachable, but the minute I had occasion to cuss a mofo out and harrumph out the door with my heels clicking loudly on the pavement, they were suddenly thirsty, parched like they'd been stuck in the desert for months, and I was both a long, cool drink of water and the biggest, most tantalizing, mouthwatering cup of cocoa they'd ever seen. What's with the lust for abuse?

SouthernWes said...

I'm going to sit over here by all the ladies with the snacks. Never did crazy, never will. I'll wait on Jay whose line name was Crazy Magnet to explain.
*tops off coffee, passes the donuts*

Reads4Pleasure said...

Well this should be good.  ::::patiently waiting to hear what Sir Crazy Magnet has to say for himself::::

GrownAzzMan said...

Two Words: Crazy P___y. I'll let myself out.

Delurkingtoanswer said...

Ya know. Hindsight is 20/20. If I knew when I met old girl that 14 months later she would slash my tires and threaten me with a icepick I wouldn't have touched her no matter what. But I didn't see all that going in.

GrownAzzMan said...

"As for why - well, it was fun at the time. Until it wasn't."

Exactly!

Jeannette said...

Gotta try that!

Jeannette said...

Let's just call it what it is.  They like crazy.

Jeannette said...

Well scoot over girl and let's do some needlepoint.. i don't know how to knit either. LOL

Richard J Wright said...

I think we date crazy honestly because a lot of times dating crazy is no different than a woman dating a "thug". There is some adrenaline attached to it. Most cats know the woman is crazy but they also know that she probably has that good stuff. If that doesnt register. Maybe the dude is crazy too. lol

GrownAzzMan said...

"You answered your own question.  Cocoa is a helluva drug."

For many men (self included) the only thing we are more drawn to is breathing.

GrownAzzMan said...

It seemed like a good idea a the time...

JaymeC said...

I taught a seminar for women helping them understand men. The title "When the little head talks, men listen"
Nuff said.

James B. said...

you callin us out huh? i don't have much to say because i seem to be a psych magnet.. i once had an ex put a long handle ax thru my windshield as i was backing out the driveway lol

went back to her too.. men love danger & excitement.. and good cocoa with marshmellows

James B. said...

you callin us out huh? i don't have much to say because i seem to be a psych magnet.. i once had an ex put a long handle ax thru my windshield as i was backing out the driveway lol

went back to her too lol.. men love danger & excitement.. and good cocoa with marshmellows

GuessImJay said...

Can someone play After7's In the Heat of the Moment for me "There Comes a time in every man's life when... you gonna do wrong"

Ladies listen up.
Crazy women have no boundaries. Marinate on that. Zero boundaries. In and out of bed. That's... tempting. If you want to try some experimental freak nasty ish in the middle of a restaurant on a Sunday night, she's like - Let's Geaux! That's hot. Like Chele said, it's hot until she tries something out of pocket at the wrong damn time...like say, church and you have to cut her loose or get ex-communicated.

But here's what I have learned. You want to try some truly outlandish, blow your mind twenty ways from Friday cocoa - go get one of them Knitting Circle girls. AND you can take them to church without fear of instant damnation.

What was the question?

ASmith said...

I just need to express this...

I was expecting the responses to be a little closer to "what you talmbout, Chele?" than "oh yes, we do that..." and I'm... Lord I'm baffled, but I'ma keep reading and trying to understand.  Amen.

Just_A_Thought1218 said...

They expect it and believe that all women are crazy anyway.  And a lot of them think it validates them, or a woman's feelings for them.  Plus, sadly too many people buy into stereotypes about certain shades of women, so one that isn't pulling out the sassy/crazy/certifiable are looked at like two-headed monsters

Leon X said...

If a man is always dating crazy women they have to look at themselves as the constant in those relationships. What needs to be examined is what is it about a man that makes them attractive/attracted to crazy women. Go deeper than "crazy woman = good cocoa."

ASmith said...

Oooohhh.... this makes sense to me...

Uh-huh.  Yes. 

Andrea M said...

I can't front, I've been known to be crazier than two bats after Mardi Gras (I don't know what it means but it sounds crazy, right?). I have keyed a car, stolen a cellphone, snatched a woman's weave out. What? It's just me? I'm working on it. I have anger issues. My point is... I'm still lovable ;-)

Cha Keziah said...

May I also place a request for "why do hoes get chose while good girls take up knitting?" Thanks.

And since I was recently informed that I am queen of the good girl kingdom (ha! if they only knew...), I will read these comments while reclining on my comfortable sofa, sipping my peppermint tea, and sewing my little sister a dress. 

I Am Me said...

Men like to conquer the unknown. That's all I got.

Jason P said...

Did we date in '09?

Jason P said...

My man

Jason P said...

Right. Right.

Jason P said...

#winning

Jason P said...

Imma need "I'm with Mach 2.0 Crazy" on a t-shirt.

Jason P said...

It's always the quiet ones

ASmith said...

And now that I've done so, my follow up question is: so... the sane ones are just supposed to wait for you to realize the crazy don't work out so well?  So like if I meet a dude and we get to chattin' it up and I decide he deserves some of all this here *points at self* (you know, more general awesome, less bed awesome...) but also determine he's got a dating-the-crazy-streak I should just... hold off?  Because I'm not crazy.  Couldn't do it long term if I tried.  

I really believe that men who want crazy will make a sane woman crazy, or kill her trying.  I do.  Further, my experience is not JUST that crazy gets chose, but she gets wifed up and impregnated, usually not in that order... and one thing I'm ain't (yes, "I'm ain't") gon' be able to do is help you with a crazy baby mama.  I'm just now deciding I won't immediately strike you off the list for generally having a baby mama because I'm growing and learning and whatnot...

Don't worry.  I'll wait.  *continues to pretend to knit in corner*

thinking that... said...

i had to ask my brother and he just gave me my 7 laughs *katt williams voice* for the day telling me about his experience with "crazy"....LOLOL......a man will risk life and limb for some cocoa....she drove three hours, from michigan to ohio, to act a fool and the police had to get involved....smh while laughing.....

michaeldavis said...

crazy, deranged.... *Martin voice*

GrownAzzMan said...

"If you want to try some experimental freak nasty ish in the middle of a restaurant on a Sunday night, she's like - Let's Geaux! That's hot."

I used to pay rent at that address...

GrownAzzMan said...

I disagree my good brother. Sometimes the simple answer is right in front of you. Some of us like drama and excitement. Until we don't

GrownAzzMan said...

See, this right here. There was a time I would be all "What's up Andrea?" Now I am in recovery. When you know better...you do better.

William Martin said...

messy.

GrownAzzMan said...

Man listen...

William Martin said...

Uh.... yes. As men, we do expect that you'll be waiting for us when we pull our head out of our azzes (or in this case, our d**ks out of crazy chicks). We just do. It's wrong and selfish but do I get points for honesty? Many of us want a "good" (read sane) woman and it takes a second or two for us to come down from CrazyTown to see it.

Leon X said...

In an indirect way, we actually agree. The "drama and excitement" is at least some sort of analysis. The question then becomes how long would a man endure the drama. When does a man say he's had enough?

GrownAzzMan said...

And I bet that is NOT why they broke up...IJS

thinklikeRiley said...

C.R.E.A.M.
Cocoa Rules Everything Around Me

taut_7 said...

yeah i don't know about crazy women. i tend to stay far far away from them. not just in romantic relationships either. people who project crazy behavior or inclinations need to stay away from me. male and female.

J B said...

I'd like to see the original post, please.....and I WILL be saying "hoes get chose" forever...

One dude had two crazies in a row...one crashed her car into his living room, the other set his house on fire....and the latter one did it to see if he was hiding another girl in his house.

Cassie said...

Well, that's honest.

Cassie said...

"Two bats after Mardi Gras" *sits down to contemplate*

Cassie said...

Points for honesty. Side-eye for life choices.

Cassie said...

Let me stitch it on a pillow.

Cassie said...

*Sits next to you.*

Cassie said...

No woman wakes up on a Saturday and says "I'm going to shoot the tires out of Jeffrey's car today" just for kicks. So done.

Cassie said...

This is the realest answer ever.

michaeldavis said...

sip sip

SingLikeSassy said...

Yes, I think I can cure crazy by the laying on of hands...<--HAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

thinking that... said...

oh i'm sure it wasn't, but i was to busy getting my 7 laughs to ask....i'm gone have to ask....

GrownAzzMan said...

This thread needs a soundtrack...

http://youtu.be/bd2B6SjMh_w

OneChele said...

You all are doing the utmost. 91 comments before noon central?!

AppleBerryMIA said...

Post was too good to resist.

AppleBerryMIA said...

Day-um!

GrownAzzMan said...

"Yes, I think I can cure crazy by the laying on of hands..."

This right here!!!

GrownAzzMan said...

Wait, what? That too much, even for me...LOL

SingLikeSassy said...

This reminds me of a time I went to my boyfriend's house in college and he had this other chick in there and I got all irate and crazy and he was standing in the door blocking her in and me out and so I went and kicked a dent in her car door. (Yes, my foot hurt, but that's all I could do). Later (YES LATER DAMMIT!) he joked with me that I was about to get my little behind beat down (I am 5 ft tall and was about 115 pounds then) because she was a big chick (tall, Lela Rochon-ish size) and he could barely hold her back himself (and he was a big, tall dude).

I have some more tales of crazy involving that dude and another whose skull I tried to crack open with an old school telephone when he had some chick calling my damn house in the middle of the night, but um, yeah. Imma shaddup now.

I DO do better now though. Well, except last year when it came out that Mr. SLS was cheating and I tried to bust his head open with a telephone...

You know what? I might need prayer.

AppleBerryMIA said...

Dr. Martin - you are a mess!

OneChele said...

Jesus, Mary and Joseph - let us pray a circle of sanity up and around these ladies. Forever and ever, Amen.

La said...

I swear to goodness I have this convo with my girls AT LEAST once a week. It seems like sane, rational women seeking healthy relationships are getting passed over by the most ratchet, insane chicks in the game. Or, as we simply put it: Crazy b!tches is out here winning.

But you know that line from the Kanye song?
 
"Shawty kinda crazy but it turns me on..."
 
I honestly think that's all it is. I have heard SO MANY men talk about how they like fussing with a crazy chick, her attitude, being willing to go toe to toe with him, etc... until of course she Fatal Attractions your favorite pet.

La said...

OMG. LOL This is so insane it sullies the good name of crazy chicks everywhere. lol

AppleBerryMIA said...

Why I gotta be ridic about it though? And your last girlfriend is suspect.

SingLikeSassy said...

Y'all just keep the telephones away from me and I'm good. LOL!

blackprofessor said...

And there it is! The 20 mph crazy is the tip of the iceberg.

JohnKinPDX said...

I have to say crazy can come in many forms and disguises. Yes, I'm saying crazy is a shapeshifter. What appears perfectly normal one day turns into Medusa's more evil sister the next. Out of the blue. For no apparent reason.

vernoogle said...

I can only say that I think they lack common sense in this area. Read-thinking with the head between their legs. I have a friend who impregnated his baby momma for the second time AFTER she tried to kill him.
Not come at him with a knife, but tried to set him on fire while he slept. He went to the hospital with first and second degree burns and she went to jail for aggravated assault. SOMEHOW he convinced himself that it was a good idea to have sex with her after all of that. smh.

rozb said...

I dated a guy who felt I didn't care enough because I didn't go bat-crap crazy behind him. Being killer-clown crazy is too much damn work, and I need peace and serenity in my life.

blackprofessor said...

Jayme, that title is a t-shirt.

OneChele said...

John - I love you like a play cousin but I rebuke this. I really do. I met your ex once and caught a whiff of ratchet. You are in Risk Analysis and saw nothing.  Sorry my friend, I'm not buying it.

blackprofessor said...

I agree with you that it goes deeper than just cocoa. 

Violet Rose said...

Ooo. Wee.

blackprofessor said...

Methinks you struck a chord with the men and the women.

Veronica Miller said...

I've had this happen too. Negro, I'm not chasing you around the city or blowing up your phone to see where you are. I have too much good judgment and too little time for alla that.

When I think about it, I definitely think it has something to do with the man wanting to feel wanted and using drama as that validation. In my experience, the ones who love crazy are the ones who are chronically unsure of themselves, so.... *shrug*

GrownAzzMan said...

Damn! If it's that good I don't want any....IJS

Veronica Miller said...

O_O

JohnKinPDX said...

Fine. It didn't hurt that she was fine and "talented"

William Martin said...

Well yeah - all that Pilate instruction she was getting?

blackprofessor said...

I had to come back and read the comments on this one! This reminds me of what one of my good male friends said.  He got married later in life but said that until a man decided that he wanted peace, he was going to deal with drama.  When he got to the peace point, he was only looking for women who would add to his peace.  I guess some men get there sooner than others and maybe some not at all.

michaeldavis said...

I avoid crazy at all costs. I've been lucky so far.. I wish I had a 'sweet first then mean/selfish detector' though ...

Jeannette said...

Damn she had dat fiyah!

JohnKinPDX said...

Sir. Uncalled for. SMH

GrownAzzMan said...

Well for me it was when I had a traumatic situation where everybody in the house could have ended up on the news. That cure me...

Violet Rose said...

I may or may not have placed the xbox and the playstation in the bathtub and filled up the tub.
In my defense, he slept with my boss. Seriously. Like you can't make that shiggity up. 

GrownAzzMan said...

Note to self: Keep telephones away from SingLikeSassy

GuessImJay said...

 #shotsfired Damn - double barreled WilMart!

blackprofessor said...

The fellas keep talking about cocoa but that can't be all of it. I got a friend who has been involved with the po po on more than one occasion with her baby daddy.  She ain't nowhere close to being a freak!! She is only down with one position (missionary) and doesn't like to give or receive oral sex.  Like I said, she got more drama than a little bit and stayed boo'ed up.      

Leila said...

"why do hoes get chose while good girls take up knitting?

Maybe because they don't believe in saying like "hoes" versus "good girls" etc...?

OneChele said...

I don't play the bald-headed barefoot reindeer jealous harpie games (anymore).  No. Miss me with that drama. If I feel I have to clone your cell phone and insert a GPS chip into your left buttock - I gotta move on. I'm always amazed when I see random broads going ham because some chick looked twice at her man in the mall. It's not the serious. Life is too short.

GrownAzzMan said...

Bougie Bruh on Bougie Bruh crime? What is the world coming to?

OneChele said...

Exactly why I didn't post it because instead of seeing it a catchy tongue-in-cheek title, some people would take it as a serious commentary on morality, phraseology and good vs evil.

Lady4Real said...

127 comments at 12:52 EST, I have no comment, just going to read my fellow Bougielanders.

OneChele said...

He slept with your BOSS?! #S.No.B.

Lady4Real said...

literally

GrownAzzMan said...

"She ain't nowhere close to being a freak!! She is only down with one position (missionary) and doesn't like to give or receive oral sex."

That's what she tells you... *Kanye shrug*

Mina B. said...

Whaaaa? There ain't no amount of kryptonite coco in the world to make this make sense!!

Lady4Real said...

BTW - if you thought this post was over the top, you should have seen what I originally wrote when the title was "Why do hoes get chose while good girls take up knitting?" Yeah, it was rough.

I remeber being 18 feeling this way and although I am now 10 years older and happily married I still see this. Good girls get overlooked and Bad Girls get the world on a silver platter, but it's short lived and temporary so I don't care, I actually feel sorrry for them after a while.

Lady4Real said...

It takes all kinds to make the world go round, and some do have the ability to help others change. Laying on of hands and all, lol.

OwenCinDallas said...

I liken this to 31 flavors. You may think rum raisin mixed with mint chocolate and strawberry swirl covered in fudge sauce is delicious, exotic. It may give you that sugar high... the first time. Everyday? Exhausting and it makes you kinda sick. After trying a few combinations, you settle in one. I'm a butter pecan man myself.

Lady4Real said...

that's being nice considering.... Every body has a little crazy in them, they just haven't been taken to their limit yet.

SingLikeSassy said...

OH, he saw something. LOL!

Slim Jackson said...

Crazy chicks are willing to go the extra mile in every possible way for their man. That's not just in the bedroom. They'll typically cook, clean, make sure your birthday is bomb, pick up stuff for you on the way home from work, hold you down, assist in life, etc. So basically all that stuff that "rational and logical" chicks say "nuh uh, playboy. that ain't it and I ain't doing that for you," the crazy chicks do. The problem is that the crazy chicks do unsavory things that make them worthy of the title. It's nice to have someone be all about you...til they toss your d**k in a blender.

The only things that really separates a crazy chick as defined here from the ideal girlfriend or wife for a lot of dudes are the malice and destruction of property. If it weren't for that, people would just say "she go hard for her man" and leave it be.

Joy Andrews said...

Nice!

Lady4Real said...

You seem to like to use telephones to communicate your feelings, just not in a conviential way, whose to judge.

Joy Andrews said...

Wait - you KNOW how to insert a GPS into the left buttock?! Get at me... LMAO!

Joy Andrews said...

What Discovery ID show will they be featured in?

James B. said...

and i'm also cueing up old school Cameo -"She's Strange" ... and i like it...

CorettaJG said...

Preach!

Joy Andrews said...

I'm #TeamDontStartNoneWontBeNone also. But sometimes folks will take you there. I haven't fully ascended to my bougenificence yet.

Joy Andrews said...

Aaaamen.

CorettaJG said...

O_O indeed!

Joy Andrews said...

O__o

Lady4Real said...

Men like "crazy chicks" Women like "thugs", most people have some exes that they like to keep trapped in a closet, under the floorbaord with cement overtop. We all have skeletons and all have taken a trip to crazy town whether it be as the driver, ther passenger or a short term resident. Crazy is a part of life.

Joy Andrews said...

Sir, what do we have to do for that church story to be the next Bougie Bachelor Chronicle?

Joy Andrews said...

*raises hand* Where can I order the workbook and CD? #realtalk

Brown Babe said...

First off, I would not agree that "rational and logical" chicks aren't about taking care of their man.  But are the benefits of a chick that "goes hard for her man" ultimately worth the cost of the crazy?

Joy Andrews said...

Points for the "We're man, dammit" justification.

Lady4Real said...

The realest most manilest thing I have heard throughout the comment section. I have 4 brothers and was raised by my Dad and now have a husband and 2 sons and this sounds so familiar. Men walk on the wild side, y'all hunt and explore, women like to be safe and sheltered.

Joy Andrews said...

Sounds delicious - what brand is that?

CorettaJG said...

I tried to kick a dent in his car but it didn't work so I came back and dented it with a solid object. He deserved it.  Believe me.  But it's not a moment I'm proud of.

Joy Andrews said...

I sew a little bit, let me get some of this bench.

Joy Andrews said...

*snickers*

CorettaJG said...

Interesting. 

Brown Babe said...

My two close friends from high school are both very controlling, bi-polar type moody, border line verbally (and sometimes physically) abusive with their men and always have been.  They have always had boyfriends and are now married with children.  I have always been the cute, quiet, reserved, mild tempered one.  While I've never had a problem attracting men, "rational and logical" apparently does not lock it down cuz Im. Still. Single!

Mony_Mony said...

I'm not good at crazy.  The one time I tried even mildly crazy (after I found out my bf was cheating), instead of shattering on the kitchen floor as I intended, the wine bottle just bounced and left a dent in my linoleum!  Instead, I just kicked him out and opened another bottle of wine.

Slim Jackson said...

Oh yeah, I meant to say that I also think people tend to date someone that's just a bit more off than they are. I liken this to some recent talk about men and women only being in relationships with people who love/like them more than they do them.

GuessImJay said...

What are you willing to do?

GrownAzzMan said...

Why is it always the car? Why? Why? Why?

Jubilance said...

So Chele, I've seen several requests for that "Why do hoes get chose while good girls take up knitting?" post, so can we see that tomorrow? Thanks! :-)

GrownAzzMan said...

Two scoops of Pralines N Cream please.

BlackButterfly said...

*puts crochet needle down*

Really Fellas, is that it?  I was expecting more from you'll.  So, it really isn't that deep.  We, "good ones" have the right thinking in that it IS the little head leading the big one?!

*picks up crochet needle*

AnnettePearl said...

I respectfully disagree with just about everything you've said with the exception of the d**k in a blender.

GrownAzzMan said...

Like I always say sometimes, men are not complicated.

Penny said...

Wow-nothing to do but go get my needles and resume work on the sweater I am knitting.

GrownAzzMan said...

I just looked at the picture again. Fellas, am I the only one who like how she holds a bat????

Slim Jackson said...

That's fine.

Mykeia said...

Love the picture!  
DEAD at "2) Someone (could be you) drove her there and dropped her off."
I am late to the post today but already 170 comments!

Brendadc said...

These comments are hilarious! I never had the urge to do anything crazy to an ex -- because I figure why waste my time and possibly face legal issues? I'll never forget a female friend who told me I shouldn't bust out a man's windows - because they would be easy to replace. She told me to get paint remover and put it all over his ride. Thankfully I didn't take her advice, but I'm guessing she did some crazy stuff back in the day.

AnnettePearl said...

Tend to go towards what you value so between the car and the family jewels - the car doesn't seem so bad, huh?

OneChele said...

*crosses arms, taps foot* Sir...

kjnetic aka Peter Parker said...

although Ms. Chele said she wasn't speaking to the opposite situation...


it really goes both ways. just like women knitting in their groups, you got quiet bookish guys reading Avengers in their groups.

*shrugs and heads back to his corner*

Trey Charles said...

Just an observation

Trey Charles said...

Yup, yup. Sometimes there's only one shot of a tequila and a misdemeanor charge between "damn that chick is crazy" and "damn that chick is cool" - IMHO

Trey Charles said...

Coffee Toffee

Trey Charles said...

Oh. My. Damn.

La said...

I'd consider myself rational and logical but I do all this stuff for a man when we're in a relationship. I don't understand being with someone if I'm NOT gonna go the extra mile for him. But I've never busted any windows out of a car. lol

I think you're right tho, going hard for someone is one thing, destruction of property and/or body parts is different.

Trey Charles said...

Damn son, you came up into BougieLand locked and loaded today.

David Chase said...

O__O Good to know.

David Chase said...

Just curious - why are we talking about crazy chicks?

Penny said...

So, in other words, we should think of you as Dr. Save A Ho?

OneChele said...

Inquiring minds wanted to know. 

Sasha Iman said...

You know, up until I realized I was throwing shade and side eying my self whilst proofreading, I had a really thought out and insightful comment to make. Le Sigh.

I will say this though;

1. A big butt and a smile stays winning.

9/10 Concessions are made for Big Booty Judy and before Ashton can say "you've been punked", ol' boys tires have been slashed, windows  busted, and his clothes are in a bonfire keeping the homeless warm for days.

2. A big butt and a smile is for the lazy members of the Crazy Crew Association, and isn't really effective on quality men. Psychological & Emotional warfare is how the advanced, card carrying members of the CCA get those kind of men. They either conform to fit the needs of the man in question, or seek out men who are drawn to role they play. They tend to be real easy for another women to spot if they're of the flagrant variety, or noticeable only to the trained eye as these heaux are masters of disguise. I also say heaux because their level of crazy tend to cross the line into triffin'. Forget busting windows, they're smashing homies. Instead of slashing tires, they're waxing on and off with your best friend, and driving your car to go see him. And while those clothes of yours might still get lit up, that's only after she's burned a hole in your wallet buying La Perla pieces you ain't neva, and will neva see.

If life's a bit mundane and the man has an affinity to drama, they become the guy's Drama Queen. Ratchet and tomfoolerly be thy middle name. (Note, the drama lovers aren't to be confused with the men that think having a woman act a fool over them means they care and see nothing wrong with having two women literally fight over him. I did say I we're talking about quality men here.)

If the man has an affinity for helping others and shows White Knight tendencies, here they come playing the Damsel in Distress. Bad luck and misfortune is at their doorsteps more often than the mailman. 
 
If the man likes to have his ego stroked by feeling important, in a provider kind of way, the Beauty Queen who's forever broke with a propensity for shopping, spa visits, and spending other people's money will be ringing his bell arsed naked, with a Pucci trench coat and red soled boots on.
 

Angel Blanca said...

I was just going to say this in response to Jay.  Seriously, you don't know who's willing to push boundaries until you advance past the crazy.  Those of us who are generally quiet, observant, listeners will shock you with the boundaries we're willing to push...and when and where, but I guess the point is many men would rather a known entity - crazy - than an unknown - quiet, but exceptionally adventurous - huh?

#LeSigh ... goes back to cross stitch and crochet

MichelleG said...

I was almost part of the "you drove her there" club but God, Allah and my ancestors helped me see past the blinding white heat light that was driving me towards my first strike. Now that I'm all grown up and have NO interest in his monkey butt (& wish I had never ever met him) guess who pops up annually like a bad zit "trying to be friends"? He wasn't worth all that energy and cackling before he sure isn't now. He misses the childish drama that I thought was showing love at the time and is still the immature waste of sperm that he always was. I respect those that admit you just do what you do until you don't anymore but I ask until you've reached your level of maturiy please leave the ones you view as "good girls" alone.  I may knit but I also watch CSI faithfully...

Angel Blanca said...

Ooh, this could be fun.  Hi, Crazy Magnet!  One of my line names was Amittyville Horror.  Pleased to make your acquaintance.

Cha Keziah said...

this just might be the gospel truth. i just sent a text to one of my best friends, asking if he saw crazy potential. his response: um, you know to wield a machete AND you're in law school? you learn how to be crazy, and get away wit hit. yeah, hun. you just haven't been pushed there." oh...

David Chase said...

As you like to say "blinkety-blinkety-blink"
*backs out of BougieLand slowly*

Cha Keziah said...

I'd agree, really, except I know plenty of sane women (ahem) who do all that and more for their men...and you don't have to worry about the busted cars, d**in a blender, etc. Maybe it's because they wait for a bit of a title before going that extra mile and crazy does it after the 2nd date? Menoknow.

FreeBlackMan said...

See how ya ladies do - you asked for the men's opinion - they gave it, you don't like it and now ya mad.

J B said...

Better the car than the tallywhacker, eh?

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