Friday, July 01, 2011

Bougie Movie Review - Bad Teacher


There's 90 minutes of my life I will never get back. Ugh. Ick. Eww. And Ugh. The four funny lines you saw in the trailer? Those are the funny lines in the movie. My sister-in-law was in town and we thought we'd catch a comedy. We never saw one. 

Cameron Diaz is a teacher who wants to marry a rich guy and spend money. But in order to get the rich guy, she feels she must have a boob job. The boob job costs $10k. She spends the movie scheming on how to get the money and the rich guy while doing as little as possible. (Correction: she does the most as far as felonies committed and ethics trampled) They didn't bother to flesh out her character. Where are her friends, her family? How did she become this shallow, insensitive, boozy, druggy witch? We don't know and very quickly, we don't care. Cameron is still hot and wears the hell out of a sheath dress but it is time for someone to tell her she is not 26 any more. The baked on-caked on makeup look is also brutally awful in some camera shots. 

Justin Timberlake plays a nerdy rich teacher that all the female teachers want and oh, he's in a band. A five piece all male band. Total stretch acting? Yeah... moving on. There was this weird fully clothed dry humping scene with him and Cameron that given their history was just kind of awkward and hard to watch.

Jason Segel tries to save the movie with actual bouts of sardonic witty humor but he is completely underutilized and you don't really get his story either. Yet somehow they wrap the whole thing up in a cutesy bow that we're supposed to be okay with. I only had one glass of wine, perhaps with an entire bottle this would be hilarity.

I'm tired just typing about it. See at your own risk. Man that was awful. And a little pathological. One star for Cameron's wardrobe. 

23 comments:

Jubilance said...

I said the same thing in my review on Sunday. I expeced a funny movie, but Bad Teacher is terrible.

Mony_Mony said...

Ever since I saw the first trailer I knew it would either be really good or reallllly bad.  Thanks for saving my $7.

CaliGirlED said...

It's not even on my movie radar, so good.

Leon X said...

Here's a bit of an aside. I noticed you talked about the underdevelopment of the characters. As a (sorta) artist I have caught myself looking at movies, plays, and TV shows with a different lens. Do you notice yourself doing that as a writer?

aisha oaktree1122 said...

i said the same thing, it didn't even match up to the commercials at all, I'm mad I even watched it, thank the gods it was complimentary tickets and i didn't fork over money for that one. I did see transformers and that blew my mind.

md_KG said...

Cosigning this...lol.

Chele, thanks for the warning and confirmation of how bad I thought it would be.

md_KG said...

Oh yes...Transformers 3 was a lot better than I expected (though a tad bit too long) and I saw it in 3D!

taut_7 said...

*shrug* i liked the movie. now what fell really short of expectation to me was transformers. the 2 movies i've really dug so far this summer were x-men first class and super 8.

grinandbearit said...

 $7?!? I need to move where you are, Mony_Mony. I, unfortunately, saw the movie before reading Chele's review, and plopped down $15 to do it. If I ever run into Cameron Diaz in real life, I'm going to demand that she repay me for that piece of shiggity.

Nicole said...

Co-sign on X-men! it was the da bomb!!

Nicole said...

I saw the commercial and felt she was trying too hard to be a female Billy Bob Thornton in Bad Santa. I took a pass and knew that it would NOT affect my life if I missed it.

CorettaJG said...

Have you seen Bridesmaids?  I'm late but that's still on my list.

Caligreen08 said...

The first minute was SUPER gross. If people carry on like that getting cocoa- then that's for the birds!

Singlelif said...

I'm just glad I never had plans to see it. Thanks for the review.

Brenda Kay said...

Ohhh please don't tell me "Transformers" sucks... I've got plans to see that on Monday. "X-Men: First Class" was an excellent movie. But "Super 8" was a disappointing rehash of "ET". 

Bryan Anthony said...

As some teambuilding ish, our VP took all of us to see this at noon today. What a gaping pile of suck. The only consolation was that after the movie, we all got to go home.

SingLikeSassy said...

Honestly, when I saw CamD was in it, I knew then I would never see this movie.

Fatimah Boateng said...

Ok i just got back from the movies. Wish I read your review BEFORE spending £20 on tickets and munchies to watch that drivel. That dry humping scene *blink blink*

Leo the Yardie Chick said...

Dude(tte?), the trailer had Future Starz Lineup Contender written all over it. That was warning enough. XD

LadyL said...

Ugh...girl, why did you even go?! If you haven't seen Bridesmaids, you MUST! Now that's a funny movie.

3D TV said...

Can't see paying $10.00 to watch Cameron Diaz. I think this one sounds like a red box rental.
I haven't seen cards 2 yet but have heard the story line isn't as strong as the first but still will take my grandson to see it on the big screen.

EC Thompson, MD said...

Nerdy rich teachers. Yep, we can find those everywhere. It looked bad and I guess it was!

Tinker Belle said...

I agree 100%. I normally don't see movies like those but I thought it might actually be something I could relate to considering I am a teacher and all. Waste of my $12 and my time. Booo! I have yet another reason to not like Cameron Diaz.

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