Thursday, June 30, 2011

Which is worse: whipped or thirsty? An Ask a Bougie Chick special

I have to take a minute and giggle at the graphic. Just putting it together, I cracked myself up. [falls off chair, picks self back up] Okay, I'm back. Today, we have two letters from fellas on opposite sides of the dating scale. One might be getting too much; one might not ever get any again. Now for your reading pleasure:

From Q-gent in Charlotte:
OneChele,
Quick question for you. What's so wrong with being whipped (if that's even what I am)? I'm 28, been searching for "that girl" for a long time. I found her, she digs me. My free time is pretty much all about her right now. It's been about two months. My boys staged a "player-vention" last weekend and presented me with a fake ball and chain and a t-shirt with a cat on it. They said that's the whipped man's uniform.They took my phone, looked in my history to count how many times I call her in a day. I average eight calls a day. They were killing me with it. It was funny but then again not so much. This is what it's supposed to be in the beginning, right? You want to talk every second and be with her all the time. She's not controlling me, she's making me happy. Is that whipped? Do you have a definition? Can you get the opinion of the BnB audience? - Q
From PB&James in Fresno:
Hi Chele,
I'm a 24 year old decent looking black man in the middle of a serious dry spell. It's been 18 months and no "cocoa" in sight. No milk, no powder, no cups, know what I'm saying? So now I'm coming across pressed when I want to play it cool. None of my usual stuff works at the clubs and I don't want to pretend like I want to start a relationship when I'm trolling for cocoa. I'm thinking about moving one lady friend of mine out of the Friend Zone. If I tell her in advance it's just about the cocoa and she says it's okay, that's cool, right? Looking for opinions, advice, any guys that have gone through the same thing, stuff like that. -James
I'm only going to say two things and then I'm turning it over to BougieLand:

Q - there's a difference between new love and someone having your balls in a jar on their night stand, only you know which is which.

James - Thirst kills. Slaking thirst with deceit and game kills in ugly ways.




BougieLand, what say you? Who can define the concept of "whippedness" to Q? Who can drop some knowledge on James? Who is a little irritated with both of them? Fellas? Thoughts, comments, insights? It's in your hands today, let 'em know...

122 comments:

rozb said...

Umm...took me a moment to scroll down from the graphic, but  IMHO, excessive thirst leads to desperate actions you might not take if you had spigot access.

Q - it can be like that in the beginning. Just make sure you don't drop off important things in your life and completely exclude loved ones and important things. Staying whipped too long can lead to a depletion of your resource of friends and loved ones. Besides, coming up for a little air only enhances the experience when you get back with your S.O.

PB&J - When you finally decide to slake your thirst, it is always the best thing to take small, careful sips, rather than gulping it all down, and coming off as desperate, leaving you open for manipulation and all kinds of buffoonery that desperation can lead to.

Lady Ngo said...

I don't think that dude is whipped. I think he's just in the honeymoon stage. Being whipped, to me, is when you do things just for the sake of the other and allow them to dictate your life. If you stop/limit hanging out with your boys because you'd rather spend time with your girl doesn't make you whipped, it just shows a shift in priorities. As long as you don't drop off the face of the earth i don't see any issue.

As for that "thirsty" dude, i don't really have any comment.

Brneyed1 said...

Lawd, that graphic! *fans self*

I agree with Lady Ngo about Q. In the beginning, everything is rosy and you want to live in the garden. Just don't get stuck there.

Re: James, you're only 24. Maybe this kharma's way of saying "wake up" and to remind you that women weren't put on Earth simply to supply your cocoa. Step your game up.

Wanyanak said...

That graphic is funtay! I am partial to the first picture in the
'whipped' row! I will take that whipped any day! Okay... now that I've
contributed absolutely nothing worthy let me step away...

Q is something, not sure what, but he isn't whipped.

As for James.... Can you say Sahara Desert parched? Not even sure what else to say about him.

Monsta Don said...

Not to sound chauvinist...but, no woman would dare say having a man whipped is a bad thing...that's kind of their goal isn't it? Either way, I predict that the whipped option will recieve the least amount of votes for some reason...just a hunch.

Anyways...the first guy is over the top with it. Sounds a little insecure. Sure, the early stages are intense...but 8 times a day playa? Damn. Let it breathe a lil' bit...sheesh. The other guy said, as long as he's upfront it should be okay, so I don;t necessarily see where deceit comes in, and, apparently no one that frequetns this site believes that women can just 'get it in' and be cool with that as well...so many paragons of ethics and virtue. Perish the thought. LOL!

100.

CaliGirlED said...

Jesus be a fence!!! I have to pray before I go further with this! Those upper left and lower right corner pictures are about to make me sin in my head! I rebuke you Chele!!!

keishabrown said...

oh.. um..
sorry.. i didnt read the post. 
couldn't get past the pictures...
*scrolls up to read words. ;)

Cha Keziah said...

right!?!?? i just...i mean... where two or three agree. sigh. lemme go read this post.

Think Pretty Smart said...

Q:  You found a woman you like.  Ignore your friends.  they either haven't met anyone they want to spend time with or have and she doesn't want to spend time with them.

PBJ:  Find someone 20.  They aren't looking for anything serious most times.

rozb said...

*Wiping moisture from forehead and fanning myself!*

Alvin Milton said...

Bro #1:
8x a day chief? The only comment I have about that is based on experience, women I know expect your "effort" to be maintained. So if you are calling 8x a day now, she gonna flip when she "notices" you started calling her 2-3x and eventually 1x a day. She is going to start thinking you have changed etc etc. There ain't that much talking in the world. Try to balance that out... and that's coming from a guy who was sprung off a young lady very early in our relationship.Bro #2:No need to lie about wanting cocoa only. Most women won't go for it but I'm sure all woman would appreciate the ability to choose whether or not she wants to go down that path. I'm a bit wary though of the ones who are down w just the cocoa stirring because that can always turn into a mess later on... You know how men trade love for sex and women trade sex for love etc... Also not trying to play you or nothing but 18 months? There must be something your doing to repel the fairer sex... esp. if you as fly as you think you is. I say, focus on your cheddar and step your game up. Then they will come running. Women SEEK men who are go-getters and about their business. Not dudes living in their momma basement... not saying thats you... but I'm just sayin.Just my 2 cents.

CaliGirlED said...

"She's not controlling me, she's making me happy."...There's your answer right there! I think "whipped" is a term guys who are single or unhappily attached use to describe guys who are happy and love to spend time with and do things for the women they are involved with....Having said that, Q, I think you need to make sure you have not  (like someone said below) stopped hanging with your boys completely, excluding loved ones or important responsibilities. I would also suggest you make sure the feeling is mutual with your girl. If she loves 8 calls a day and spending the majority of her free time with you, then sobeit. But if you are annoying her, or if she has suggested that you do other things, I would re-evaluate things. Women also need a break or "girl time" away from the men they absolutely love and adore. And spending a little time apart can help you appreciate each other and your time together....I like to miss my man sometimes. (When I have one! LeDamnSigh)

PB&James you make my head hurt!!! You just want the cocoa, ok fine, but you don't know how to get it! #FAIL.  You need to DM some of these self-proclaimed Playas in BougieLand. "None of my usual stuff works at the clubs..." You are the guy that we laugh at and talk about, up in the club. STOP it now!!! And leave that girl right in the friend zone, don't drag her into your madness! Chances are, if she's interested, she's going to agree to your heauxnanigans, catch feelings and then try to turn the situation into something beyond cocoa stirring. This is going to cause much friction and ruin your friendship....Bottom line, you're on the NBA court with elementary skills. Get yourself to a basketball clinic STAT! Wanna be a Playa and don't even know how to play. Boy go sit down!

rozb said...

There is a big difference between "just getting it in" and being so thirsty you make a HUGE error in judgment. If you're gonna just hit it right quick, at least be in the frame of mind that your extreme thirst doesn't distort the intended purpose of the hook-up.

The regular Bougieland denizens know this and "get it in" accordingly...

Earthangel172 said...

Q - 8 times a day is DOING.THE.MOST.....I'm just saying. Two, maybe three times a day is sufficient. It lets her know that you're thinking about her but you're not suffocating her either, kwim? It's true that couples want to spend every waking moment together in the beginning but what happens when the honeymoon is over? Get a hobby, give her some breathing room and most importantly give her a chance to miss you sometimes.

James - 18 months with no cocoa?!

 ::lays down my religion for a minute::  

STEP.YOUR.GAME.UP.

And no woman wants to be the "in the meantime" girl so keep your friend in the friend zone.

Earthangel172 said...

LOL!!!

My first thought about the far left pic was oh.my.damn.

CaliGirlED said...

"So if you are calling 8x a day now, she gonna flip when she "notices"
you started calling her 2-3x and eventually 1x a day. She is going to
start thinking you have changed etc etc."...Sad but true.
"Try to balance that out"...YES!!!...Personally 8x a day is a bit much, but I've admitted before to having an extra dose of testosterone! (Damn son can you let a sista breathe?) But hey that's just me!

"There must be something your doing to repel the fairer sex... esp. if you as fly as you think you is."
"Women SEEK men who are go-getters and about their business."...PB&James are you listening???

SingLikeSassy said...

For the QC dude (only the initiated know) don't start nothing you can't finish. If you're calling 8x a day now, be prepared to call her 8x a day from now on bruh. If it were ME, that would be too much calling me (can you give me a minute to DO something so that I have something to talk about the next time you call pls?!) and after a couple days of that you would be shifted to a new place on the rotation, i.e. way down the damn list. BUT if she likes it and you like it, I love it.

James in Fresno: I appreciate that you are trying to stay honest and up front with your intentions. You wanna do the diggity and you don't want to do dinner beforehand or cuddle afterward. But seems like you want to get down with "nice girls" who are going to want some dinner beforehand and a want to cuddle afterward.  I suggest you go to the strip joint and make it rain and at least one of them pole slider chicks will let it go further -- after you negotiate the particulars, of course. Good luck with that!

blackprofessor said...

Right there with you Caligirl! I was like "Umm, what are we talking about??""

blackprofessor said...

Dead at heauxnanigans!

taut_7 said...

i voted for thirsty. i agree with the dude in the whipped letter. in the beginning of a relationship you're going to want to spend as much time with your s/o as possible. its all the newness of it all. his friends just have a problem with him not spending as much time with them. eventually he will find balance between his friends and his s/o. now the thirst is real. well he is 24 so i guess at that age perusing the clubs in search of cocoa is ok. 18 months is a long time. 

GrownAzzMan said...

Well said but I need to know who has rozb tied up in a basement. Not a hint of snark? Nothing to put keyboards all over Bougieland at risk? I don't know you anymore...LOL

SingLikeSassy said...

Chele know she's wrong for that on a damn Thursday morning!

GrownAzzMan said...

8X a day is too much.

thinklikeRiley said...

Q - Climb up out the yik yak fo one minute. You settin' precedents, son. You gonna keep all dat up? Just ease a lil. Grandma Riley gotta sayin "Finsih like you started" - think on dat

J - You callin' yo'self PB&J makes you a lil suspect from jump. 18 mos and ain't NOBODY let you hit? Plus, Fresno? Leave dem girls alone, tip up into Oakland and stop tryna stir cocoa. I smell your thirst from here. How bout you strike up a convo and see where dat go? If you dat pressed, can't one of yo boys pass the plate of cookies? Sumthin, dayum 18 months?

rozb said...

GAM you know what...I. Rebuke. You. Here I am, trying to drop little golden nuggets of nonsense knowledge, and trying to maintain some sense of Bougie decorum.

'Cause I know the harsh reality of true thirst. I have had my share of settling for MD 20/20, when all I had to do was wait for another minute and I coulda been drinkin' top-shelf stuff. The hangover is brutal, the sticky, harsh aftertaste is second only to the smell of it coming out of your pores, and you don't stop seeing double until two days later.

And yes, I have been so whipped, I went to work one morning in an inside-out shirt and my kitchen looking like two squirrels made a nest, while later looking for his A** in the daytime with a bright-ass police-grade flashlight. Now THAT was like cocaine, and as Rick James once said "Cocaine is a helluva drug!"

Maaaaaannnnnn...you lucky I like you! LOL!

blackprofessor said...

Q - A significant other should be a welcome addition to your life, not your life. It sounds like you have made this woman your entire life and that is not a good look.  Your boys are right, you need to pull back and develop some things that you do.  In other words, get a life! 

James - What do you really want right now?  Do you want a relationship or unconditional cocoa?  It sounds like your judgment is clouded by your hormones but you need to get real clear.  You say you want cocoa but I suspect you really want the emotional connection that a healthy relationship brings in addition to cocoa.  More importantly, step your game up.  If there is one thing that has been confirmed in Bougieland, it is that men can have an easier time with women if they bring their A-game and pay attention. 

Cherelle D. Mattox said...

Leave it to Riley

rozb said...

If Chele is wrong this morning, I don't want her to be right!

I know I am engaged - love my baby - but that upper left pic reminds me of the quote Bernie Mac said in "Friday": The Lord is my shepherd, and He knows what I want!

Sorry...couldn't resist. O_O

GuessImJay said...

Q - Riddle me this:
1. Do you have to call 8x a day or do you just want to?
2. Did you have to ask permission to go out with your boys or did you just tell her you were going?
3. Are you still picking out your own clothes, meals, daily routine?
4. Are you hustling to spend time with her or in her?
Depending on how you answer you're either brand new or you're whipped. Put the phone down and take a minute. Think on it, then continue as you see fit.

James - Ninja what? Please discover a thing we like to call game and kick it into high gear. STAT.

SingLikeSassy said...

Are you hustling to spend time with her or in her? <--Right, right, because there IS a distinction.

JaymeC said...

I would dare say having a whipped man is a terrible thing. I want the whole man in a partnership where he stands on his two feet and I stand on mine.

Grace said...

One that made a little sweat pop out on my brow. It's a little hot in here.

Grace said...

What Riley said.

Grace said...

Are you at the right blog? No one is pretending to be paragons around here.

SingLikeSassy said...

I know. *Jesus continue to provide strength to your child SingLikeSassy as she struggles to remain chaste during this separation*

Pure Choco said...

Imma need Q to fallback for a minute. James - you don't know anyone who will "do you a favor" right quick? Not a single cut buddy in 18 months? I hate to be mean but what's really going on?

rozb said...

You nailed it, especially in the second paragraph!

Brandon St.Randy said...

The first cat just sounds like his boys are less concerned about his happiness and more concerned with keeping buddy on their level. They still want to run the streets, and from what he's saying, it sounds like he's in a happy place. If it was, "she makes me call eight times a day to check in", we're getting into whipped territory, but I think it's a wonderful thing that two people can;t get enough of each other.

As far as the second dude, stay out of the clubs for one. Go do something with yourself. Make some more money, take a photography class, Go build a house for Habitat for Humanity. Like someone said below, women are attracted to dudes that are about their business. And standing in the hall at the club with a half drunk Cranberry and Rail vodka grabbing the arms of passerbys hasn't been working for the last 18 months.

"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results"

Cha Keziah said...

Q - 8X a day??? Do you work? have a hobby? does she work? have a hobby? It just seems like a bit much, but if it works for y'all then cool, I guess. I think an important question to ask is how your GF is responding. Is she happy you're calling that much and up under her all the time, or does she seem annoyed. Oh, and your boys aren't in this relationship, you are. Focus on how you feel, how your lady feels, and move on. Now, when you can't make decisions, can't eat, can't breathe, and whatnot, then you may have an issue. Last thought on this: be careful not to ruin your friendships and time with family over someone brand new. Yes, we all expect the person with the new boo to fall off a bit, but it shouldn't be months and they're asking "whatever happened to Q?"

PB&J - Sir. 18 months? Now, I don't know much, but I know that most men can get in if they want to...and have moderate game. Are you fishing in the right ocean? Are you trying to get with women who aren't so much for stirring cocoa and getting upset? Are you trying to go above your paygrade? Get some tutoring from some of these gentlemen (because from these comments it looks like they know of that which they speak) and move forward. Or, maybe, pursue a real relationship and let the cocoa come as it will. In any case, step yo game up.

Javalicious said...

Aw - I think Q is sweet. He's in love. And wait - you're AVERAGING 8 calls a day? Means you sometimes call more often? Let it breathe a little, sweetie.

J - go be about something (anything) else.

maureen palmer said...

Lalalala...... top left picture and bottom right picture. *says 20 Hail Marys*.  This post should have come with a warning, you know something "like after hours only." Justsaying.
Q, 8 calls a day? Whoa, I find that to be a tad bit overwhelming. Just know when you stop calling she will have ATT about it. I need to be able to get underneath you and,  do some work, clean my house, cook, read a book and have me time.

Fresno, decide on what you want. If it's cocoa  then state your intentions. This coloring outside the lines will get you to a place you don't want to be.

Q, this for u.  Cue "Hunger by Eric. B
http://youtu.be/HEbJWRG9n2g

CaliGirlED said...

That Mad Dog 20/20 ain't no joke! Gotta wait for top shelf, I know that now!

Whipped? Let's not even go there! Let's just say, I know better and now I do better. SMH

C Nelson said...

That graphic ... mmmm... what was I going to say again?

Oh, yeah. I dunno which one is worse; I'mma need both these gentlemen to keep their distance. Eight calls in a day? Who does that? I didn't even call my babysitter eight times in a day when she was at home caring for my tiny helpless firstborn child. Ease up. You have a much better chance of getting to the next phase of your relationship if you don't smother her in this one.

As for James ... you know you can hire a professional for that, right? Schedule a quick trip to Nevada, take your own protection, get it taken care of, and come home with a clear head. Then take a better look around you; I'm sure there are opportunities you've been blowing right past or just plain blowing because you had only one thing on your mind.

CaliGirlED said...

ROTF LMAO!!! Yes!!!

rozb said...

There's a lot of praying to Jesus up in here today...I'm just sayin'...

rozb said...

You do mean calling on the phone, right? LOL! XD I crack myself up...

BlackButterfly said...

Q- Too much. 8x a day? Quality interest and attention are great but come on!

James- You are a person that doesn't have a clue of what they want or how to get it?  Don't drag your "friend" into you messy mix of confusion.  You grown... go off somewhere and figure yourself out and then try again. (Remember safety first)

Now, I am off to find my blender because I am having a craving for cake!

GrownAzzMan said...

She's back! I am so glad the released you!

DFig said...

I have nothing for the thirsty dude...just sadness.

But Q, are you calling AND texting during the day? I mean, damn!  My husband and I can get in 8-10 calls easy if we are working stuff out (did you turn this off? do we need to hit the grocery store? who's taking the dog to the vet? etc etc).  But, if you are having an average of  8 calls a day and at least 5 of them are longer than 5 min each then yes, I'm sorry you have a problem.  You're not whipped....but maybe sprung?  A little to eager. this may be hard to keep up.

GrownAzzMan said...

Right. 8X a day

tishatweets said...

Apologies if this posts more than once. BnB and this CPU don't play nicely.*

Well the first cat had me concerned with "my free time is pretty much all about her right now." Uh, nawl, Negro. I need you to have some time that ain't about me, because I sure as heck need some that ain't about you--and I don't care HOW much I love you/am diggin' you/ whatevs. Give me time to miss you. Sheesh.

The second cat said "none of my usual stuff works in the clubs." I gave up on his life after that. WTC(rap)? WDDA? You got..."usual stuff?" Are you a grown up? #yeahno

CaliGirlED said...

But Sassy can't you just see him up in the club saying all the wrong shit, giving those looks that only he (and maybe his mama) think are sexy, touching,  rubbing & grinding damn near gettin cussed out? I remember his type when I used to club! Go sit the entire f**k down!!!...Where was Riley with that when I really needed it? LMAO!

Cocoa Winston said...

And Jesus is just looking down and shaking his head.

Mykeia said...

Speechless for now...
What does Riley say...

mutemia said...

*fans self at graphic especially the one on the top left* Made mI did laugh at the water bottle in the desert
I don't think whipped is the right word for q-gent. He sounds like he's in the extra lovey-dovey mode. However, the 8 calls is pretty excessive and he needs to dial that back a whole lot. Maybe texts. He does state she makes me happy, not that he always agrees with her, constantly waits on her hand and foot, he does whatever she wants even if he doesn't want to.
To Mr. Thirsty, just find some one else to hook up with. I'd be super annoyed if a guyfriend was like I'm in a dry spell let's be  fwb.  As soon as I find someone, let's go back to being friends. GTFOWTB

Cherelle D. Mattox said...

Ok, after spending at least 30 min daydreaming about the guy in the upper left hand corner wishing the bowl was a little um lower. . . Um, where was I again.

Call it the accountant in me but averaging 8 calls per day means you are calling once every 2 to 3 hrs if you exclude sleeping time. So my question is what type of job do you have that allows you to take a break every 2 to 3 hours to have conversations on the regular like that? Like others said you doing too much, dial back a little bit and enjoy the journey.

For the other guy, I will direct you to all the BnB men folks on that one.

CaliGirlED said...

 Grandma Riley? Oh I bet she ain't nuttin nice! Would love to sit under her tutorage!

Tiffany said...

Q -  8 times a day would be excessive for me, but I can't speak for your girl. If she's cool with it and you're cool with it, then I don't see a problem. That said, I hope you haven't tossed your friends and hobbies in the garbage, if so, there's the problem. Being in an awesome and loving relationship should require one to do that. Make sure you make some time for the folks who've been there with you prior to this new relationship.

PB&J - Hmmmm...I can't resist...*pulls out maracas and shimmies* It's peanut butter jelly time! Peanut butter jelly time! *jukes*

Ok. Your inability to get "cocoa" gives me pause. There's desperation aplenty out there today, so I don't understand why you can't find someone with whom you can stir it up. Finding a relationship is what's tough...Oh! And don't bring your friend into your search. Unless you weigh your options and find that losing her as a friend down the line is worth getting that good good right now.

Michele said...

I don't think Q is whipped.  He's just in  a new relationship.  However, I wonder if he is prepared to continue this behavior later on down the line.  Don't start what you can't finish, my friend.

To the other gentleman ... I'm not equipped to give advice to a horny, I mean thirsty, 24-year old.  He's too close to my son's age.

Cocoa Winston said...

I think they both are doing too much.

CaliGirlED said...

"James - you don't know anyone who will "do you a favor" right quick?" OKAY???

Something is really wrong with his picture! Is it your breath, body odor, what? You said you're a decent looking guy, so SOMETHING is wrong! Because even if Boris or Idris stepped to me smelling like butt f**k Egypt, I will have to pass! (Oooo but I would be so hurt yall!)

CaliGirlED said...

"Go build a house for Habitat for Humanity." Ha! My job is doing that in October! (Was just talking about it not 10 mins ago!)

"And standing in the hall at the club with a half drunk Cranberry and
Rail vodka grabbing the arms of passerbys hasn't been working for the
last 18 months."...And it never will!

CaliGirlED said...

James is fishing in the ocean and he should be probably be fishing in a pond.

SingLikeSassy said...

"apparently no one that frequents this site believes that women can just
'get it in' and be cool with that as well...so many paragons of ethics
and virtue. Perish the thought." <--whatchu talmbout Willis?

OneChele said...

Just trying to make sure ya'll are paying attention...

bashowell said...

Anybody else notice the contents of the bowl splattered all over...  Anyway, what was the question?

Right - so 8x.  Not whipped.  But damn give it a rest.  Some space.  Breathing room.  I can't speak for your girl, but if that was me I'd have to tell you to back up off me.  Can't stand someone all up under foot interrupting my space.  Like everyone else said - balance. 

And PB&James lawd...  All I can think is:

http://youtu.be/oKTpY2lqgTg

Monsta Don said...

It was a joke. Please. Don't beat and rob me.

100.

CaliGirlED said...

If we were not, best believe we are now!!!...And then you tweetin about athletes and stamina??? Imma need 3N to come get you! I'm trying to be chaste round these parts, you have me reachin for my phone!

Mykeia said...

Okay, I'm sayin'!

Alvin Milton said...

Y'all goin a bit nuts (no pun intended) over that blender pic. 
His technique is sloppy as evidenced by the image.

David Chase said...

Mr. Q - So the wonder of the new-new, yeah - we get that. But eight calls? What are you talking about? And why? Tell your boys to get some business of their own and chill.

James - C'mon son.
 

FreeBlackMan said...

Do you know any woman who would do him that solid? Seriously?

FreeBlackMan said...

Q - if she happy, do you bruh.
J - the minute you quit worrying about it, it's there.

TNDRHRT said...

I don't think anything is wrong with Q.  He's in the newness of a relationship and he WANTS to speak to his girl.  If his girl doesn't see a problem with it, why should his boys.  If I'm feeling a guy, I WANT him to call/text me.  8X a day is not that much to me.  Depends on what they are discussing.  Yeah, Q is whipped, but it isn't a bad thing.  Now if he was a bugaboo and calling/texting me constantly, then it's my fault that I gave him my number.  I blame me.  Ugh...been there.  Q, do you, dude.

Ummm...James.  Don't get your friend wrapped up in your shenanigans.  It will end terribly.  Find some random and do her, but not your friend.  Quench your thirst elsewhere, if you must.

rozb said...

A man butt-nekkid in the kitchen, trying to bake or something. Do you think we are worried about sloppy? Really, Alvin? I don't think most of us even noticed. Even if I wasn't squinting.  -_-

Alvin Milton said...

Yall are going hard tho.
Just rubbing it in.
Innuendos aside, have at it.

Andrea M said...

And today's letters are about nuts.
Q - rediscover yours and tell your boys to back up. If your girl's happy, who gibbadam.
J - Let em drop and chill out already

Andrea M said...

A man who has a six pack and cooks in (presumably) more than one room?
I would like one, please and thank you.

Bryan Anthony said...

The cat woman chick with this whip tho.... nice.

Bryan Anthony said...

For the record, I have seen whipped brothers, they don't make a move without checking in, calling back, re-checking... think Marcus & Shelby from The Best Man.
James just thirsty as hell. At this point, go to the Pink Pussycat and drop a hunny already.

GammasWorld said...

Can I have a bottom right man to go please?  Gamma loves some purty arms.  Thank you.  

GammasWorld said...

Oh there were questions to answer.  Well Q baby, you say you're 28 so I'm guessing your girl is somewhere close to your age and all giddy with "new love" too.  Y'all both need to be careful not to get so wrapped up in each other that your forget yourselves.  If you're a regular to Bougieland, then you know the real answer comes from talking about it with your girl.  Discuss your relationship status with her. I would tell her the same thing ... if she's getting to feel a little smothered, I hope she talks about it with you instead of backing away, ignoring calls, "call was on silent", "left phone in the car", etc.  As long as she's happy and you're happy then do you (and her ok I'm sorry that was the graphic still speaking to me).   

James sweetie, you're so thirsty you ain't thinking skrait.  Leave your friend A.L.O.N.E.  If you value her as a friend, leave that po chile out of this siteatshun.  I can't speak for the bruhs, but honey if you can't pick get some cocoa in the club, at last call when female thirst of the cocoa sharing kind is at it's peak, then that's something you need to discuss wit yo boys.  For your immediate predikament, drop all pretense and go on to the strip joint -- I'm sure Diamond Sparkle could be talked into a lil sumtin sumtin with the right uh incentive.  Be safe tho - you ain't that dang thirsty. 

CaliGirlED said...

 I know you did not throw shade on ol' boy!!!

Besides a smart man, who takes the time to mix up some cake batter while naked, knows the advantages of getting some on him!

*runs out of BougieLand*

CaliGirlED said...

I quit you on this here day!!! ROTF LMAO!!!

GammasWorld said...

Yeah you knew you should've let yourself out with that one ROFLMBO 

SingLikeSassy said...

It's alright he's messy. Some of us like to lick the, um oh wayminute. *lets self out*

CaliGirlED said...

"siteatshun"...You know you had me stuck for a second there! Had to dust off my Hooked on Phonics! LOL

Alvin Milton said...

*shade thrown*

GammasWorld said...

I couldn't sound that out my dang self LOL 

GammasWorld said...

And this is why I picked this lady as one of my fav commentators yesterday ROFLMBO. 

michaeldavis said...

James: I don't know what the dating situation is like in Fresno, so I feel for you brother.  

But feel free to hire me for my skills as Hitch in Real Life (word to Will Smith). The initial assessment...costs a grip + 1-2 Sprites (I don't drink on the job).  I need to be in earshot of the convos you are having with said women.The consultations...cost more.

CaliGirlED said...

My Girl!!! Yeah you come on out here with me, I can use the company!

rozb said...

And just like that - you are released! But please Monsta Don...we can take it! LOL!

GrownAzzMan said...

Ok, I wasn’t going to say anything but then the twitterverse
went IN so…


 


PB&J Bro? 18 months? This is going to go kinda fast so
you may want to read it a couple times.


 


1) Leave the club. Yesterday.


2) I hope your clothing, fitness and hygiene game is up to
par. If not handle that, stat!


3) Excel on your grind. Stacks of paper are a known
aphrodisiac. You don’t need to flash or anything just carry yourself like you
have it and they will know.


4) Do something for the community. Doing for others rounds
you out as a person. That way when you do meet a woman you have something of
substance to talk about. This is where all that former club time will come in handy.


5) When you do meet a woman make sure you man up. Be on
time. Call when you say you will. Take her somewhere where you can talk and
then actually listen to her. Show sincere interest in who she is and what she
is about. THIS CAN’T BE FAKE.


6) At no time, under any circumstances let, “when do I get
to hit it” come out of your mouth. Or your non-verbals.


 


If this doesn’t have you ducking Vicky’s secrets in 30 days
or so scream at me on twitter @AGrownAzzMan.

One more thing when all this works if you find the urge to
call her 8X a day, resist it!

 

Thus endeth the lesson

 

*drops mic*

CorettaJG said...

I am with you.  I'm still confused about the very picture.  Why?  Huh?  Wha...?

CorettaJG said...

Okay.  THIS.

CorettaJG said...

THIS as well.  8x a day is doing waaaaayy too much. But if she likes it, I love it.  That's just not for me.  And James should definitely leave the "nice girl" friend alone.

CorettaJG said...

"How bout you strike up a convo and see where dat go?"  LOL!  Good idea.

CorettaJG said...

Oh, ya'll are going to get in trouble.

JoycelynC said...

Lawd I gotta read these comments but first:

Q: this is doing the utmost and I must say, don't start something you aren't prepared to finish as you are now setting up certain expectations. 

James: as it appears that you are asking for charity from these women, remember this: broke down charities typically don't make any money.  It appears that you need to step your game way up.  My 23 year old brother is carless, jobless, and about to be homeless (I am giving him the boot due to the jobless part.  I don't take care of grown men, even relatives) and he got two women fighting to take care of him and from what I can tell is not lacking in the cocoa department.  I recommend making it a Netflix weekend of the Mack. Hitch, and other similar movies to see if game can be translated by osmosis.   

blackprofessor said...

You are too much for me, LOL!!!

Brneyed1 said...

Paying attention to what?  The locations of the whipped cream splatters?  Cuz it took me a few seconds to remember I was supposed to be reading the post....

GammasWorld said...

Bougieland Bruhs are so important.  

Brneyed1 said...

LMAO!!  Yes, yes!! "Here, lemme help you clean up..."

Mykeia said...

" I suggest you go to the strip joint and make it rain"...Sassy...ohhhh...you have shocked me today!

GammasWorld said...

Lawds how could I forget "that CPR fool" LOL GREAT CLIP! 

Mykeia said...

 Do something for the community. Doing for others roundsyou out as a person. That way when you do meet a woman you have something ofsubstance to talk about."<====FTW!  Co-sign!

Mykeia said...

You are a mess for recommending "The Mack"...dead from laughter!

GrownAzzMan said...

" I recommend making it a Netflix weekend of the Mack. Hitch, and other similar movies to see if game can be translated by osmosis."

Wrong on every concieveable level...CTFU

mutemia said...

 As far as the second dude, stay out of the clubs for one. Go do
something with yourself. Make some more money, take a photography class,
Go build a house for Habitat for Humanity. Like someone said below,
women are attracted to dudes that are about their business. And standing
in the hall at the club with a half drunk Cranberry and Rail vodka
grabbing the arms of passerbys hasn't been working for the last 18
months.

LMAO-Yes, I'm pretty sure that's exactly what ole boy is doing. I hate hate hate it when guys pull that mess. Along with the Imma start grinding on you and then act offended when I get told to go kick rocks.

Brenda Kay said...

As I'm quite late, I know the two individuals who wrote the emails have gotten plenty of great answers. So I'm just going to sit here for a moment, or two and just gaze lustfully at the hottie with the bowl and hand mixer. ;-)

William Martin said...

The water bottle in the desert pic - straight hilarity.
Q - If you like it, I love it but please back up off that speed dial son.
J - Get at one of the BougieLand bruhs, even in 140 characters or less we could help in 18 days, let alone 18 months.

Thirst is the worst. (see what I did there?)

CaliGirlED said...

 Around of applause for the Honorable Doctor Professor GrownAzzMan!!!

GAM that's what I was talking about, school his ass! But unfortunately he's not looking for anything substantial, which is what you just laid out for him...Any of our other docs wanna tell him how to get a HnQ? LMAO!!!

CaliGirlED said...

"I am giving him the boot due to the jobless part.  I don't take care of grown men, even relatives." Holla if you hear me!

My 23 year old brother is carless, jobless, and about to be homeless, and he got two women fighting to take care of him..."....James, I'm telling you, it's time to check your hygiene bruh! One, possibly all of your orifices are causing you  problems! IJS

CaliGirlED said...

 "...even in 140 characters or less we could help..." DAMN!!!...I see ya rhyming skills!

CaliGirlED said...

 Sanitary??? Girl ain't nobody thinking bout being clean! Wait, you said you're confused about that picture. Really? I mean even if it was your husband? But...I mean...how can I put this...like...ok what if...never mind. I hope one day you will know the benefits of that, the obvious and the underlying.

sol_dier said...

Q-gent : Who determines your relationship? you and your girl? or your boys?
Go with the flow. there are no rules except the rules you make for your relationship. Don't let 'Game' mess up what could be a beautiful thing. 
PB&J : If your 'usual stuff' doesn't work, change it.Good looks don't mean a thing, if your personality sucks and you act like a jerk (check ur behaviour)If no strings attached cocoa is what you want, go for girls who want that only, do NOT disrespect your friend by approaching her with this offer. You say you are going to move her out of friend zone?. Does she even want you?. Has she indicated that she might be interested?. IF not, then your statement sounds kinda arrogant and presumptive. Like she's just gonna agree cos you said so O_O. Check your self dude.

rozb said...

ALL the orifices?!?!?!  BWAHAHAHAHA!!!

C Nelson said...

Actually, he needs to leave those little still-adolescent girls with the rest of their lives ahead of them strictly alone and go hunt him some cougar. One who'll probably already know what she wants in bed and out of it ('cause it's for damn sure this lad hasn't got a clue, he's been proving that for 18 months...) and will be okay with training him. His no-strings type chews right through naive little 20-yr-olds.

CorettaJG said...

LOL!  Girl, I was married back in the day, and he was a shall we say, "experienced," fighter pilot.  I just prefer to take the food into the bedroom, not mixing hairs in the kitchen "by all that good food" (a la Mike Epps in Jumping the Broom). :)

Singlelif said...

Q - Do you, Boo !!  Unless new chick starts complaining, stop listening to your boys..they probably wish they had somebody to call.

James - There's a big difference between being thirsty and dehydrated.  You sound like you're suffering from the latter.  Don't play yourself and mess up you relationship with your "friend", who's a girl. Trust she already knows how thirsty - or should I say "dehydrated" you already are. 

Singlelif said...

Oh, and to answer the question, IMHO, thirst is worse.  It sometimes causes people to do regrettable, embarrassing, things, that more than likely, will not remain secret.  At least that's what someone told me...

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