3N has a group of friends here in Dallas. We teasingly call them The Georgia Boys because they all attended UGa at some point in the last 20 years. Inside that group, there are six guys that are pretty close in age and all pledged Alpha. Once a month, they get together with significant others/dates to do something. Last month it was barbecue and softball at a park. This month- dinner at a nice spot with music.
Two of the guys are married, two are dating at least seriously enough to bring the same woman three months in a row, and two? Well... we never know who they're going to show up with.
So on Wednesday evening, we're enjoying the wonders of good food, good company, and great wine when the last guy (we'll call him Jay) rolls in late with his date. 3N looks up and immediately grabs my hand under the table. "Uh, listen. Here's what happened." My brow goes up. Anytime a man starts explaining before you ask a single question, you know something is about to go down.
He's talking low and fast into my ear. "The girl who just walked in with Jay? I know her. We went out once when I first got to town before you and I started going out. It was whack, she got clingy. I told her that I didn't think we were a fit and never called her again."
I nodded and gave her a closer look. Big hair, big boobs, tall heels, tiny dress, attitude. Plus, I got a hit of skank wafting from her. "So that's biblically that you know her?"
"Well yeah. Just the once."
He was so uncomfortable, I had to smirk at him. "So she's your Welcome to Dallas hit-n-quit (HnQ) chick!"
"You are way too amused by this."
I really was. I mean no, it wasn't great that he hit-n-quit but the whole thing was before my time and none of my business. Plus, usually it's my tragic dating history popping up out of nowhere. Seeing his stroll in on the arm of one his frat brothers shouldn't have tickled me... but it did. For the moment anyway.
Jay introduced her around and when he got to 3N, HnQ ran forward towards him. "Hey, great to see you again!" At which point, she started to lean down to get some sort of hug on. 3N extended a hand and said stiffly, "Nice to see you again, have you met my girl Michele yet?" Smooth.
HnQ kinda blinked, nodded in my direction and went around the table to where Jay was holding a chair out for her. He looked from her to 3N. "You two know each other?"
3N nodded. "Briefly." HnQ looked like she wanted to tack a disclaimer on that but the look 3N sent her shut all that nonsense down... or so we thought.
The waiter came to take their order and the conversation picked back up. I ate a seabass and pasta dish so delicious that it almost brought a tear to my eye. The band played a Latin-jazz fusion set and 3N who generally refuses to dance actually cut a step. 3N ordered a chocolatey dessert and I accidentally ate half of it. Good time was had by all. An after dinner mellow had settled over the group. And then...
Out of the blue HnQ said (loudly), "So how long have you been seeing her? And is she why you never called me back? I left you six messages! I know you were into me, what happened?" Damn girl, thirst be thy name?
Before anyone could say or do anything, Jay moved the martini glass away from HnQ and pushed his chair back to stand up. "We'll be leaving now. Say goodbye to HnQ, you won't be seeing her again."
HnQ, sensing she had a captive audience, refused to get up from the table and started going ALL the way in. She started detailing all of the things she did with 3N on their (apparently energetic) night together. 3N put head in hands and the rest of us stared unblinkingly in stunned annoyance. #WDDDA and S.No.B!!!
(for the newbies, that's Where Dey Do Dat At and So Not Bougie!)
(for the newbies, that's Where Dey Do Dat At and So Not Bougie!)
Wesley, who is one of those guys who comes across all bougie and quiet but is a complete character, cut her off mid-rant by saying, "Sweetheart, you did all that and he never called you back? Have some pride and take a hint."
Le Ouch and Le Chuckle. That shut HnQ up. Jay lifted her from the chair, tossed some money on the table and rolled out. The evening broke shortly after. 3N was like, "Are you mad?" I said of course I wasn't. He brought up Dude Formerly Known as New and the SEW shenanigans. I let him know that was a totally different situation. "But if she shows up at your house with a halter top and some stripper heels on, we're gonna box." And that was that.
My thoughts on HnQ? First, Jay is a perfectly nice guy. All she had to do was play it cool and she could have kept that bird in the hand. Second, why are you announcing all your skank tendencies in mixed company? Third, six calls? Really tho?
My thoughts on HnQ? First, Jay is a perfectly nice guy. All she had to do was play it cool and she could have kept that bird in the hand. Second, why are you announcing all your skank tendencies in mixed company? Third, six calls? Really tho?
Fellas, have you ever run into a HnQ or former girlfriend when you were out with your new s/o? How did you handle it? Ladies, if your man's former HnQ/Flame/Fiance showed up at a dinner party, how would you handle it? And I wonder, would 3N have been as cool as I was if one of my ex-something-somethings showed up to the party and cut a fool? What do you think? Do share, the floor is yours...
286 comments:
1 – 200 of 286 Newer› Newest»Sighs. Po thang.
I think the answer (besides she's a damn fool) is obvious as to why she played herself: Jay may be a nice guy, but he's no 3N. Still, have some freaking pride. I weep for my sistren.
Wow. Really? I don't even understand this. 3N was right to cut her cause she is several crayons short of a full box.
"Po thang" was PRECISELY my reaction, Ink! Man, how do you look yourself in the mirror after that performance?! -dawn summers
I have so many thoughts on this one...
1) 3N handled it well.
2) Did Jay know that 3N & HnQ had gotten down in the past? Or was he unaware & caught off guard?
3) HnQ is a textbook case of how NOT to handle this type of situation. 6 calls? The overly friendly greeting when she was there with another man? Putting all her biz on front street in front of complete strangers? #Fail
I need folks to do better.
I have a similar response.
And, somehow I don't think 3N would be quite as cool as you if this was a tables turned situation. Menfolk and their "quirks" about that kind of stuff and all...
Just had a friend in almost a similar situation, boyfriend's frat brother "knew" her biblically way back when before she and boyfriend met, it didn't come up until they all showed up at the same place recently, new boyfriend cut the fool afterward and basically said had he known this, he never would have dated her in the first place. o_O really? Some kind of pride thing.
Wow! Lol! What a evening! Her Royal Stankyness really showed her tail, didn't she? You and your Mr. handled this quite well. I could almost hear Brooke Valentine croonin' in the backround talkin' 'bout "we 'bout to throw 'dem bows!" She should have just digressed ESPECIALLY when she saw that he was rockin' YOU on his arm. Nicely done Mizz 'Chelle!!
*mouth hangs open* Wow.
Dang, Billy Dee, you could have at least hugged her back tho. Not like you never threw the chick a bone before. *bad pun* LOL No excuse for her behaving in that manner, but dissed waters run deep in those streetz. lol
*Still dying of laughter*
100.
I'm still thinking on this, but could some of the stankiness at the dinner been aleviated by 3N being clear and letting her know way back when that he was affirmatively no longer interested and whatever they were doing was o-vah? Granted, she still may have showed out. But the crux of the crazy talk seemed to be about him dropping her without a word. Just fading to black doesn't help "clarity." Why not say, "this is over." Then no party is confused.
I.can't.with.this.
This is classic "Jay moved the martini glass away from HnQ and pushed his chair back to
stand up. "We'll be leaving now. Say goodbye to HnQ, you won't be seeing
her again.". Nice move Jay! However, when will you men learn that women who dress, as Chele described HnQ, have no class and are suspect on acting like a lady in public. She showed ALL signs of being a "hit-n-quit" chick just by her attire alone. You don't take those to hang out with the fellas AND their S.O.s! You swing by with her where the fellas are hanging out, show them what you're about to get into, and keep it pushin!
No country for hood rats or women who are hood rat-like but don't think they are because they are not from the hood, but are in fact HOOD.RATS!!!
And no 3N would not have handled things the same way if the tables were turned, let us reflect on the Twitter beef...(Love you 3N! LOL). And his boys would have did a little clowning of their own as well. But I will also say that had Chele been with her girls they might have had a thing or two to say as well. In a bougienistic kind of way, of course.
I agree with you. I love me some Billy Dee Ninja but I'd bet the farm ole girl didn't get the "we aren't a good fit" memo. She most likely got radio silence.
Ole girl popping up with Jay was a nice lil visit from karma. Fortunately, she didn't cause any real damage. But sometimes you need a nice lil thump on the forehead.
I don't know Coretta, six calls and no response? What more needs to be said? I know that fading to black is not the best way to end something, although this was not a relationship, but the message is very clear. Or maybe that's just me because you could never ignore me six times and expect me to even say "hi" to you the next time I saw you. Hell if I call you twice with no answer and no response, you might as well forget you knew me. I'm done!
Ummm... wow.
I agree with your thoughts on HnQ. She played herself way harder than 3N played her.
First time in BnB. I am Wesley (why I gotta be bougie and a character?) and you classed up this story for mass consumption. What you didn't say is how HnQ (that nickname is solid) kept eyeballing you and your man all night long. What you didn't say is how during dessert Jay went and got the phone number of the background singer in the band. Nor did you talk about that quiet salad-eating mouse that Trey brought with him.
Wonder Woman, if you gonna tell the bidness - tell it all! Is this where I get told to leave the innanets and not come back?
Wow.
I don't have any story to add...
Reading this post makes me pissed about the blogger that stated "bloggers aren't good writers" or whatever that nonsense that was quoted in yesterday's post...=>" HnQ looked like she wanted to tack a disclaimer on that but the look 3N sent her shut all that nonsense down... or so we thought."...after reading this line I knew that the rest of the story was going to be good, which for me is proof of good writing.
Smooth moves by 3N.
Who calls someone six times?
I don't know why, but I am picturing her with her head on swivel, with her hood rat card tucked in the cleavage. You can take a hoodrat out of the...you know the rest. All that was needed was the long hook that comes from the side to let you know your time is up!
"But I put my feet behind my ears for you!!!!! I laid out all my Skank 101 skills for you and you couldn't call me back?!?!?!"
HnQ - you really know how to keep it classy and represent for all your fellow hoodrats, skanks, skallywogs, birds, skeezers, and skrippers-in-training.
"No country for hood rats or women who are hood rat-like but don't think
they are because they are not from the hood, but are in fact
HOOD.RATS!!!"
Dead and needing resuscitation with this!
OMG! I wish I could have seen 3N's face when she came rolling in. I know he was all "oh hell!"
But believe me if the situ was reversed, he would have been all kinds of salty.
Ok I wanted to be sure, Billy Dee Ninja said, "I told her that I didn't think we were a fit and never called her again." So I would say she got the memo, threw it in the trash and continued with her own agenda.
By the way - what does a hit of skank smell like as it is wafting around the table? Perhaps street vendor egyptian musk oil and Now and Laters?
I know a few of these women...
You are a mess for this! Now and Laters!!!!!! Dead, I'm just dead!
I hear you Cali, but I'm not down with the her not having class because she had on a tiny dress and high heels argument.
How you JUST roll into BougieLand oversharing, son? She was quiet as a church tomb, wasn't she though? Ordered salad, water and a lime wedge. I hate that ish!
Well damn!
If was HnQ I would excuse myself with a quickness and skid out of that place faster than a NASCAR race. But why put bidness out like that though?
Jay had no idea. We play but we don't play like that
There is the Twitter beef which 3N handled very well. So maybe he's a more evolved male than others.
You know Chele keeps it Bougie.
See, I have my suspicions that the conversation was not as clear as all that to HnQ. When she's calling 6 times and wondering what happened, she could be in denial, but it doesn't hurt to kill all that with, "We are through. I didn't just mean we weren't a good fit for a relationship, we aren't a good fit for your to even be my no strings attached girl."
I'm just saying, I think there is a way to say it where there is absolute no doubt what you mean. Sometimes guys (like many women) don't want to hurt someone's feelings or be the bad guy, so they sugarcoat it in a way that leaves room for ambiguity.
Day old tuna covered up with vanilla incense. And last year's Halloween candy corn.
I already like Wes.
Three-drizzy,
C'mon son? What was that all about. Gotta to be something betta runnin' round Dallas. Step yo game up!
Word. I was thinking he could have handled that better from jump. Per usual, it' always the woman's fault.
Desperation and Summer's Eve?
I'll let myself out
Bless her heart...why did she even lean in for a hug? I knew something was going to pop off right then.
Wow.
Wait.
What?!
You and Rozb...who smells like this...there's a story behind this...
Welcome Wes! I love when I get the whole story! I kinda assumed she was staring them down, though. The outburst was just her ghetto icing to an otherwise fab evening.
All that was missing was her popping gum and asking for "Skrimps".
Oh dear Lord! Trey please tell me you didn't go out with a salad chick. I swear who does that?!
this has happened more times than i care to admit. although i will say that my HnQ's had a little more class than that. they sometimes didn't say anything and neither did i or they simply said hello and kept it moving. now what's awkward is when both of y'all see each other with your new significant others.
::blink,blink:: See, I entertain crazy. I would've had to ask her what she was expecting would happen. For 3N to go, "oh. yeah. forgot we did that. wanna do it again?" I mean what IN THE WORLD, lady? Why must you be so crazy??
If my boo handled that information sharing how 3N did, I'd be cool and she could talk all the mess she wanted (men who tell you the deal up front will probably handle the situation should one arise). However, I speak crazy, so if you start talking crazy to me, I'll eventually talk back and hurt your feelings all in the same tone of voice and language you can understand. Don't do me, b.
I just don't get people sometimes.
Time of death: 10:22am. Here lies Wil, slain in his prime. Last words uttered: "Desperation and Summer's Eve."
I was waiting for Riley's take on this, but SouthernWes has filled that void nicely. All I can say is WOW! Whether or not she got the memo from 3N that they weren't a good fit, where was her dignity and self-respect once she saw him with someone else. I see you with someone else after I've known you in the Biblical way... quiet as a church mouse esp. after you didn't return my 6 calls...
She needs a Thirst Ain't Sexy shirt in XXL...STAT!
When I was in Phoenix, I was out at this bougie establishment trying to get my grown man date on. Someone takes the drink order and ten minutes later I have adult beverage splashed in my face. Revenge of the former HnQ, now a waitress at this spot. In my defense, I did say it was one night only thing and she agreed that that was cool. Guess she changed her mind on that one. Hell hath no fury...
@CorettaJG 932a
I think not returning any calls is a pretty clear sign of not being interested.
@SouthernWes 955a
This is Bougieland. We keep it classy and read between the lines :ob
@thinklikeRiley 1012a
Damn!
So Disqus is fired?
See this is why I love BnB. The comments are even more hilarious than the actual story. Shout out to Riley, Rozb, Will, Wesley, and Trey for keeping me laughing so hard this morning.
I'm coming out of lurkdom to wonder how you managed to get a "group" of Black (assumption) men who went to UGA in one city. I live in Athens...that's "purt near" miraculous! LOL
"Damn girl, thirst be thy name?" Bwahahahahahaha
Damn Trey I thought you were Jay! LOL...But the salad eating chick? Hilarious!!!
Wes, my man! In my initial comment I referenced your comment to HnQ, but took it out. But that almost made me HOL (holler out loud)! LOL
Aw, come on now we represent.
You are a fool!!!
Aw, come on now we represent.
Oh my damn.
Riley is trying to get me fired!!! I so hate you right now! LMAO!!!
I.G.N.U.T!!!
Black n Bougie.... the gift that keeps on giving. Once again, Chele - i thank you! these stories make my week!!!!!
Yeah, this is where I am with it. No doubt she was thirsty--and MESSY--but I can't call the breakdown in communication one-sided. It takes two. Jus' sayin'...Still, this whole tableau makes for hilarious reading. The way you set this scene, OneChele, is what made me love both of your novels. Eagerly awaiting the third! :-)
True, it does depend on the man. I've seen men react that same way, and I've also seen men be very cool about it.
I've realized that if you're Black & college-educated, everybody knows everybody else. Its like 3 degrees of separation now, instead of 6 degrees. And if you're Greek too? The circle gets even smaller. So it's inevitable that there's gonna be some level of familiarity among folks, but for some reason some people just can't deal with that. Oh well.
Do tell William!! How did you handle this lil'..somewhat sticky situation?
Hold up. I got pulled to Principal Bougie's office with the "don't put all the bizness in the streetz" lecture and Wes gets a hall pass? If this is how we're getting down...
Let's admit that my lovely wife should've been cut off after her third drink. Wes' wife couldn't stop laughing. Trey's date was dull as a box of rocks. Shawn may have this all on YouTube by lunch. And Jay saw the same thing David saw - E.Z. one night only chick.
i swear to jah rule...you have the BEST stories!!
*looks down at the empty popcorn bowl.
With a stack of napkins and a move to another table.
Thanks for the extra info! We need you to come visit BougieLand more often.
We are >>>here<<<
There's no cool way to handle this is one of the parties is determined to show out. I prefer when we just nod and keep it moving. You knew what it was, let's leave it right there
You had me at Damn girl, thirst be thy name?
Ha! That is how you handle that!
I hope he did YouTube it so we can all relive the splendor of you attempting to salsa, sir.
LMAO at the extra details
*refills popcorn bowl
The Georgia Boys are off the chain!!! LOL
Am I the only one who noticed that Miss HitnQuit was able to "attract" two gainfully employed, college educated men....one who was willing to bring her out in public...with his boys...Alpha men,
I'm just saying.....This woman should have shown some decorum and restraint had but these men indeed chose her.
Chele, we've got to tighten up the BnB admission policy.
Perhaps he is
"Oh it's cool, I understand", is not a green light for a true one night stand! Translation: "I'll get you to change your mind". IJS
Exact words to her - "I don't want to lead you on, I don't think we're a fit. Hope you find what you're looking for." What more could I have said?
bnb guys don't hold back on the stories..
re: HnQ : I seriously believe people have forgotten the art of 'taking a hint'.
If dude ain't returning your calls, he don't want you. let it go. She found another bougie dude, but couldn't believe 1 man didn't want anything to do with her anymore?.
*SMH* really WDDDA
p.s. the seabass has made me quite hungry :)
YESSSS!!! I'm truly thinking of writing a post on this - Are Heauxs Winning The Game? Has the Whole World been Kardashian'd?
Arrgh!
I don't know Chele, I'm young and haven't been in a lot of relationships but I'm not sure I'd want to date a guy with an HnQ in his history.
::picks my bottom lip up off the floor::
"Sweetheart, you did all that and he never called you back? Have some pride and take a hint." #classic
I can't believe this heifer. She is the epitome of ratchetness to the tenth power. Why would you put your business out there like that? As usual, Chele you are a class act but these heifers make it so easy for you. I am too through with this one.
We see you!
Not a damn thing.
I like the classy "Heauxs" spelling. And yes - the whole world has been Kardashian'd.
That one of those "good in theory" ideologies.
Hi Wes! Welcome to the world that is full of bouge. Thanks for the extra details- makes the story even better :D
__________flatline___________
Baby girl, you bout to sleep alone
Bless your heart.
Maam... its called a one night stand. It happens sometimes. Get over it. And FYI , a good portion of men have a HnQ story. Sounds like you are eliminating an entire pool of available men. #IJS
Up...
Wayment...
Careful there. If he didn't HNQ YOU... then I say let it go. Can't be discounting a man for something like that... you'll be discounting er'body.
THIS IS WHY I LOVE ME SOME RILEY! BWAaaahaaaaa
Like she'd wear an XXL shirt...from Chele's description of her, she'd more likely cut it shorter and use the neckline as a belt.
Do it. DO IT. That needs to be discussed. Heauxs are out here getting chose every day.
Doesn't get any clearer than that if you ask me.
Was she quiet ALL night or just at dinner? *follows Riley to the corner*
This skank is ruining it for all of us. SMH.
I swear you have the most dramatic life ever .
yes, you are.
I suspect there is usually an HnQ in the closets of most men. The issue is when she surfaces later.
Oh, honey. That's because you're young and haven't been in a lot of relationships. And I am sincere when I say I mean that with absolutely no snark intended.
So you have a good man, Christian, loves his mama, owns his own home, degreed, fine as all get out (sorry Chele, he fine okay. I can look!) and you want to disqualify for an HnQ that happened before ya'll started dating?!
*schedules DeLurking for Surviving Singlehood session in ten years*
Sorry to be tacky but grow up, doll.
It gets real 90210 in DC. Like 1 degree of separation. I used to kick it with a chick and after we stopped, we remained friends. she started dating one of my homeboys (friend 1), didn't really tell him she was through with him, and started dating one of our other mutual friends (friend 2). She told friend 2 about friend 1 but never really informed friend 1 that she had moved on to friend 2. Until friend 1 shows up at a party and there's homegirl and friend 2 snuggled up. Awkward
Good Lord Chele! I need to book that long-overdue trip to Dallas. I'm missing out on some good entertainment! :)
Thank you!
me too.
You have to write a post on this, because this seems to be a common topic of dischord throughout the dating world. And let's get some imput from the men folk, who seem to be hellbent on CHOOSING these women.
Ok, I just shoved my mid-morning snack away.
If it was a pattern of behavior that manifested itself into the way he treats me, I'd be concerned.
To each his own. Thanks for delurking.
I think for college-educated Black folks, there is one degree of separation! I have been in other countries and met folks who knew my colleagues, relatives, sorors, etc.!!
O__O Ma'am!
I started to go there, but pulled back. Thanks for bringing it on out!
Keep on living honey.
With that kind of thinking, you will be the old woman with all them dang gone cats.
I'm just saying.
Baby Girl (I use this a a term of endearment, not to be condescending), if you live long enough, you to will likely have your own HnQ tales. We women get with men and dismiss them from time to time too. You connect with a very fine someone, stir the cocoa - which is lukewarm at best, and you decide you are no longer interested. He calls a few times and you don't respond. It happens. That's just life.
Most men AND women have a person like HnQ in their past, it is called experience. As long as it doesn't interfere with the present, it is the past!
IDK. Maybe "don't call anymore and if you see me in the streetz act like you never knew me". SMDH
She did get chose... Maybe Angela Yee is onto something with her "Heauxs Be Winning" campaign.
I am late to the party but whew!!!! I have way too much pride to be acting like that in public with a ninja who didn't call me back. Hell, I would have acted like we NEVER met and kept it moving. SMH!!
Trey, you seem cool, but I need you to do better than a salad eating woman, LOL! Get you a woman who can get her eat on on the regular.
I'd love to see this post. Kim. Kourtney and Khloe Kardashian are no jokes.
Kim esp has her own money and seems ambitious (I'm not discussing how she became wealthy) and she's dated some very wealthy men. HOWEVER she also gives off a very feminine air....check her preference for hip hugging dresses.
Heaux or realist?
In contrast Khloe's' BFF Malaika is pining over broke ass, not ready to settle down Rob Kashashian.
Too many BnB women are indeed losing the war because: we're wasting time on the wrong men (broke or commitment-phobic) AND we're unconsciously competing with the decent men,,since we make the same/or more dough and may even be better educated.
Although women have changed, men haven't. Be a lady in the streets and a heaux in the bedroom still applies. No one wants to date someone who's dressing/acting like their mother or who's telling them, in front of the waiter which wine to order.
Can't speak for Ms. HitNQuit..she may indeed just be skank, but overall some of us need to get on the goodfoot with a quickness.
This is why "ThirstyAin't Sexy".
Honey needs a t-shirt, a laptop cover, a day planner, and a neoprene bottle cozy. Message?
Dead!!
*squints at calendar* 7 years and counting, missy!
I'm sure the skip-skap delegation would like for her to tighten it up a bit, as well.
She showed ALL signs of being a "hit-n-quit" chick just by her attire
alone. You don't take those to hang out with the fellas AND their S.O.s! - Cosign!! I thought most guys knew the rules!!
*Reaches in KB's bowl and munches daintily.*
I hear you and no shade but when you say that AFTER the naked hanky-panky, she isn't hearing you. She's still remembering the naked hanky-panky. And assuming that you um... excel in that area, she was hoping for another cup full of cocoa at the very least.
If I was HnQ I'd act like I didn't know 3N. I would play it cool and enjoy myself with my new boo. Homegirl played herself.
What Riley said, as usual.
Or kaysadillas ... That's hoodrat for quesadillas. I swear I'm not lying. The first time I heard it I almost gave up the ghost.
Can you bring back some nachos while you are up?
HnQ would have to have cataracts the size of silver dollars for that message to be unclear. Jesus be some auto-focus...
Yep. Few and far between are the women who are gonna SAY they're cool with and actually BE cool with it.
"But I put my feet behind my ears for you!!!!! I laid out all my Skank 101 skills for you and you couldn't call me back?!?!?!"
This is why I quit rozb for life...LOL
Exactly. Kinda woman I am? He'da went to his grave without EVER knowing how severely he ruined my pride--which is clearly evidenced by her acting out.
It was a mass-killing. Got me too!
The lime wedge really just sent me to the edge! LOL!
Why does my office sit in a high traffic corner and have a big A window? Try laughing with your lips pressed together so your assistant doesn't come in to see whats up! CTFU
I will not be getting any work done today! I too am dead like WM time of death 10:29!
*blinks rapidly*
Hot mess!
Ohhhhh...the power of language...people do not always hear what is said, they hear what they want to hear at the moment. Thank you for the break down of the translation.
This is how we do that!
That is the problem with Mars/Venus communication. "It's cool. I understand" screams yes in our language.
Chele, please discuss. Maybe some of us ought to buy one way tickect to Dallas.
Young un alert.
But why "neckline as belt" ? *dead*
Seriously? WDDDA, for real?! In college I had a fling with a guy, who was dating a girl who became my good friend and roommate the next year; they broke up a few months later and I never mentioned it to her, but found out last year that he did. My girl and I never discussed it; it wasn't worth it because we both knew who we were and were confident in ourselves, and we did not need to have validation from anyone to be as fabulous as we both were (and, presumably, still are). Should I mention that he's a Alpha, too, and lives in Dallas? Hmmm...(don't worry, y'all don't know him; he's a transplant from above the Mason-Dixon Line). ;)
I would never put myself and my business out in such a public environment, especially when I was with someone who I, ostensibly, was into...or at least trying to get to know better. I am *so* private a person that even those who've known me for years still don't know details, and I trust them. She did this without knowing anyone other than the man she came with? Where's the class? Where's the breeding? Where's the Bouge?
As for how I would handle it if it happened to me, nothing a man has done before he meets me diminishes what we have together, for however long that is, so I don't think I would really care...well, aside from being rather embarrassed for her taking such an obviously unclassy route.
Wow!
These things sometimes happen
Yes.
The worst thing about this comment is that we can all subconsciously conjure that scent... SMDH
I'm so tempted to hear the backstory on that candy corn. You just KNOW there is one.
Yep... I was thinking, if she was wearin' the mess out of that outfit and acted like she had some sense she coulda .5 been winning in the game. She blew it though. Should've read the script before accepting the role, SMH
DAYUM!!!!
Putting folks on blast!
And some garlic parmesan chicken wings.
You fellas killin' the What we Do Here, Stays Here flow
You don't have to explain shiggity. You did what you did and onto da next.
shots fired!
There is absolutely something to be said for this. Clear commnication can solve a world of ills.
There is also, however, something to be said for taking things as what they are and not thinking "orange" when what's in front of you is clearly "green." Even if we all agree that the *right* thing for 3N to do was to simply answer one of DelusionalGirl's three trillion phone calls and say "Yeah, sooooo....about you and I? Yeah, no. Thanks, though," the fact that he didn't does not free her from the responsibility of simply charging that one to the game and making herself available for someone who really would want to be bothered with her.
Perhaps you could have set up a shadow sock puppet show with some dazzling light display for full effect. Top it off with some tap dancing little people that spell out "I don't want you no mo'!"
Then you know what? She shouldn't be having sex until she's in a committed relationship. ANY time you enter into a physical relationship with a man, absent the promise of "it's me and you against the world, Baby! Always!" this very situation could take place. I don't know why women are running around here thinking they have gold, platinum and various and sundry other precious metals between their legs. You have the same thing as the next chick and you might just not be bad enough to keep the one you want. It's life. It happens. You move on. Or, if you simply cannot deal with the aftermath of someone not wanting you after you've shared yourself with them, you wait until it's been communicated and understood that you are in a relationship. Period. Yes, men (and women, for that matter) do some doggish things, but this ain't that. This woman, and women like her, need to assume full responsibility for their actions--and the aftermath of such, whatever that might look like, and ESPECIALLY if it doesn't look like they imagined it would.
I remember back in 98 I showed up at a party with a lady I had just started dating a few week earlier. Within minutes I realized that there were 3 (yes…3) of my previous entanglements there. Eventually my date asked why one of the women was staring. So I told her the whole story including pointing each one of them out. Once she stopped laughing (thank god she thought it was funny) she decided to “mark her territory” so to speak so that everybody could see. That night we ended up in bed and 9 months later we got married.
It's not always the woman's fault. But....an immature woman? Yeah, it is very often her fault.
I remember back in 98 I showed up at a party with a lady I had just started dating a few week earlier. Within minutes I realized that there were 3 (yes…3) of my previous entanglements there. Eventually my date asked why one of the women was staring. So I told her the whole story including pointing each one of them out. Once she stopped laughing (thank god she thought it was funny) she decided to “mark her territory” so to speak so that everybody could see. That night we ended up in bed and 9 months later we got married.
This, girl. This!
I'ma tell y'all like a wise woman told me--and I've since adopted into my own toolboox of personal mantras as I run stroll through these dating streets--"the thing that makes you the most interesting is that you're interested in me. The instant I pick up on that changing? You can surely be about your way."
This woman knew 3N wasn't interested. She needs waaaaaaaay more people for me to believe otherwise. She was being purposely obtuse to bolster her wounded pride. That's not his fault.
*cues Rapahel Saddiq's "Good Man (Men.)"* LOL! No for real, that's good stuff. :)
the thing that makes you the most interesting is that you're interested in me. The instant I pick up on that changing? You can surely be about your way---Dang. Well said.
*and as she threw the memo in the trash she whispered "I can change his mind. He just needs a little time, that's all!" and ended with an evil Dr. Claw laugh*
While I agree with this overall--the sugarcoating--we KNOW what was said to the chick in this particular instance. If that is sugarcoating, this chick needs to step out the game. Indefinitely.
Giiiirrrrlllll, I applaud this response. Real talk at "I don't know why women are running around here thinking they have gold, platinum and various and sundry other precious metals between their legs. You have the same thing as the next chick..."
*head in hand* I knew I shouldn't have peeked into Bougieland. Oh mah sista my sista! WHHHHYYYY!!! HnQ makes me want to cry for her Argentina. #Tragic
Wow, she did all of that in one night....for free? Please, she's just salty that 3N didn't leave $200 on the nightstand after it was all said and done like Jacqueline did for Marcus in Boomerang. There was no need to interpret the lack of a return phone call, CLEARLY it is what it was. Bless her poor, clueless, overexposed little heart.
Undisclosed,
That was the very first thought that popped into my mind as well. This woman may be lacking self control and definitely self respect. But she is able to garner the attention of some high quality men. So is she being chosen strictly for her looks and the not so subtle hints that she's likely to give up later on that evening, or what?
Right, Jubi. I mean, there's a certain level of assumption that must take place here.
There is a man who shall not be named (lol) that would gladly relieve me of all my single woes (please note the sarcasm in "single woes" as to not allow anyone to believe I am woefully single, lol) right this instant if I allowed it. He was made in my ex-husband's alum chapter. Now, while that in and of itself wouldn't necessarily stop me from forging ahead if I was so inclined, but I also wouldn't be dumbfounded and go all bad should I walk up one of their events and encounter shook faces and get a text from my ex before the night is through. I assume that. Because of the circles I run in. You weigh the costs, peeps.
Trey,
Not to add on, while you're trying to pick yourself up ~ but before bringing a date out with your friends, you should take her out someplace else beforehand, so you can spy her table manners and eating habits. That way your not surprised by a Rabbit Eating Rebecca or a Chow Down like it's her last meal Connie.
Orrrrrrrr is she letting these men meet her representative them showing her true colors shortly thereafter? This is like a Tootsie Roll Pop...the world may never know. LOL
She wouldn't have received it if you acted it out Charades style. She embarrassed herself and wanted you to be embarrassed also.
I've seen this on an unnamed Southern California college campus....girls take XXL tshirts, cut them up (necklines chopped off ala Flashdance [yes, I'm old]]), and cut slashes in the sides and tie them up to make them tighter (and show off side skin). The leftover neckline material can be used as a belt.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXYRVr9H9VQ
THIS ^^^
Lemon Pepper, ftw!
Ok " Rabit Eating Rebecca or Chow Down like it's her last meal Connie" enough!
And be playing "I Didn't Mean to Turn You On" all the while!
And that comment was brought to you by the letter R and the number 2
*whistling the theme to Sesame Street*
Maaan. I'm with Wesley -- if I did all that and still he didn't call me back, I'd've been showing off Jay like he was the Hope Diamond sans curse and 3N was rutilated quartz by comparison. That's the time to lift your chin, smile your prettiest, and be your very warmest self to everyone in the room except the ex -- leaving him with no doubt what he missed out on and wanting it back whether he ever admits it or not. Poor child -- someone didn't do their best by her when she was learning how to handle these things.
WELP
Umm, have you blocked the number yet? Call #7 is coming, or at least a text.
Ya'll are killing me
LMFAO at food orders...
ok. so since i work for an event catering company.. i'll send a kitchen order to the chefsanyone else???
She was quiet and reserved all. damn. night.
Draw your own conclusions...
Rozb SLAYED ME!!
Man listen, I was trying to... you know the whole lady in the living room...
never mind
Le Manly Sigh
*comes back to life
*reads Riley's comment
*wonders if Boyz II Men will sing at the service of my death.
According to a member of said group, (although neither of the actual parties confirmed themselves) they saw her as an EZ bake oven.
What. A. Mess! I guess daily kegel exercises & gymnastics training don't guarantee anything. How awkward HnQ may have felt when she walked in, pales in comparison to how crazy she looked once she went off. 6 calls...??? o_O The rejection was clear. as. day but folks always want to transform the clearest statement into something murky. If she sipped her 'tini & kept it cute, HnQ could've had the last laugh.
lmao...
me and my girls call each other heauxs.
matter of fact, i'll be hosting them next month. i am the heauxtess of course. tee hee..
Chicken quesadillas please, with guacamole and salsa.
Reading through the comments to Riley, scrolled back up to this, "Desperation and Summer's Eve" and just about died again! Between Riley, Rozb and Chele I am but a corpse up here in BougieLand! This is my ghost typing right now....
Hold up- "we went out ONCE" and HnQ is still salty enough at LEAST several MONTHS later to be reciting bedroom circus tricks to strangers over dinner? I don't believe she's one of the Heaux's that be winning. Homegirl can't seem to get past the first dang date. #failing #HnQ4Life
I'm about handling my day when I get calls saying I'm hot in the blogs. I don't
read blogs. I only know of one because frat has his nose wide open for a
writer.
--pausing to let that sink in--
I pull up blog and see hilarity with 185 comments attached. Allow me to clear a few things up:
She was hot. And she was good at doing what hot girls without a whole lot else going for them do.
When we met, I said "Let's have some fun" period. Had I known she had
also done the hot girl booty dance with DLC, I would've skipped it. We
don't pass the plate of cookies if we can help it.
I make no apologies. I'm a single guy, no kids, no promises, no preconceptions.
All she had to do was play her role. Who knows, maybe I could caught feelings down the line.
But the whining and looking at my boy like she needed more butter on her biscuit. Naw.
So that's "my side" of the story. Ya'll crazy in here!
DLC - admit that ish is funny. Mr. Morality caught in a HnQ?
Bryan & Wes - The First Rule of Fight Club?
Trey - the bish had on a sweater set. with pearls. on a date.
"Jay" out
see my comment above...
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