Friday, June 24, 2011

The Blogiversary Post: Because Life is Not a Reality Show


I think long and hard about what to post here in BougieLand. Well, sometimes I don't. Sometimes I'm just riled up and I sit down at the keyboard and fire off a stream of consciousness rant. Most the rest of the time, I think about it. I started this blog talking about what bougenificence means to me and but I very quickly realized that explaining/justifying the bouge lifestyle took up about a month's worth of posts and that was that.

I quite simply blog about my opinions and my life because that's what I know. And even then, I contemplate which pieces to share and which to keep but because bless ya'lls heart, you can take a simple post about snowflakes and turn it into a thesis on blizzards, how to build the best snowman, whether sleet is really snow and whether the term "White Christmas" is racist or not. 

This is also the reason why I only share snippets of the new relationship. And even when I share those, I don't write out the experience word for word, moment by moment. It's an overview not a reality show. And I generally only share what I share to open up a line of conversation. 

The crux of the matter is that I blog to open a forum. Happily, we've built a community of people from various sectors and industries and locations that are vocal and articulate. What I don't want BnB to become is a monolith where everybody thinks the same and cosigns each other constantly. No one grows that way. However, I also don't want an atmosphere where someone can't offer a differing opinion without being shredded, chargrilled and served up on a platter.Oh and last-word-itis? Some of you all have got to let that go. Please and thank you. 

The BougieTales and Ask A Bougie Chick segments are not fiction. These are real people. Granted, some of them have set themselves up to be blog fodder and if someone (Tracey!) writes in begging for a pen-lashing, I'm more than happy to oblige. So I'm not even asking that you sheath your swords when fencing is called for. But I would like to see us add a dimension where we put ourselves in that person's shoes for a minute and then offer them the best that we have whether it's criticism, encouragement, scorn or agreement. 

June 23, 2011 wrapped two years of BnB goodness. Let's take it to the next level for the next two. Thanks for hanging in here with me. Cupcakes and champagne for everybody!

66 comments:

Michele said...

Happy anniversary.  Love the blog!  I don't comment often but I check for new posts everyday.  Keep doing what you do!

maureen palmer said...

Happy Anniversay!  Blasting "Bad" by MJ for you lady. Looking forwad to more great posts and comments here in BnB.

MsJamie14 (CaliSlim) said...

Boy oh boy, yesterday was a lot of fun, you had reasons to shake your head, think and of course laugh. You know the way the bougie set works tho, the topic of casual sex will always be polarizing because bougie folks never want to admit to doing it, even if they are. I did have a moment of reflection that though we are all grown and can make our own choices, yesterdays post was an illustration that "good men" are still  out there pursuing the "good time girl." (words from Jay). I thought that got old? lol

So while life is not a reality show, Bougieland can be. It's a glipse, scripted (mainly to protect the guilty lol) and should be considered for entertainment purposes only. Like a reality show, it's based on real life, but isn't (completely) real life. I'm sure if we got a Kardashian up in here, they would tell you their antics were always blown out of proportion  too.

That being said, Black n Bougie is a must read. I'm quite honored to be a part of the Bougieland community and wish you the most happiest of anniversaries! Here's to many, many more! *cheers*

sol_dier said...

Happy Anniversary : 
I'll be raising my pinkie finger in salute while sipping :) 
http://www.bougie.co.uk/ 

bashowell said...

Happy anniversary!

Leon X said...

Happy Anniversary, Chele. You have built up a good audience here. I wish you even better success on book number 3.

Cherelle D. Mattox said...

Happy Anniversary. Enjoy the posts and commentary on here.

Penny said...

Happy anniversary!  Not sure how I found this blog, but I am glad I did.  It takes courage to write about your personal life, and most of us are not willing to do that. (You even blog under your real name.  Major courage.)  No one is perfect, and and as grown folks, I am sure that we have all made our mistakes in the Romanceville.  I take this blog as an opportunity to hear others opinions and views-whether I agree or not.  IMO, it is helpful to see the obstacles that other folks have faced, and hopefully overcome.  Most of us are trying to be the best we can be. 

May I have a brownie instead of a cupcake?  :)

Earthangel172 said...

Happy blogiversary!

I enjoy every minute I spend here....Cheers!

Sarah said...

We are having a rare sunny day perhaps in your honor :-) Happy Anniversary!

I was thinking last night after reading all the comments how you said last winter that you didn't want to blog your next relationship. Personally, I didn't mean any disrespect to your sweetie by my comment and I'm happy to respect boundaries. I probably should have phrased my comment in abstract terms.

In any case, it is a bright sunny day for a change and I hope everybody has a good one.

CorettaJG said...

Happy Anniversary! While I enjoy Martinelli's finest sparkling cider to go with the (hopefully) Georgetown Cupcakes :)

maureen palmer said...

Those G'town cupcakes are the devil.

SingLikeSassy said...

I'll have Prosecco and Sprinkles cupcakes thankyouverymuchmissmaam! LOL!

CaliGirlED said...

Happy Anniversary Chele! Here's lookin at you kid! *raises bottle of water*...Waiting on my champagne and cupcakes to arrive. ;-)

I have truly enjoyed my time here in BougieLand, as well as books 1 & 2, and am anxiously awaiting book 3. You are truly gifted in writing and I am so glad that you use your talent and put it to good use. There's not many places where one can be entertained, amused, conflicted, inspired, stimulated and even provoked; but here we get all of that.  From you as a magnificent writer to those who share their thoughts and experiences, this is one helluva place to spend time everyday! Friendships and relationships have developed in BougieLand, and as with anywhere you have a group of people coexisting, there will be a bit of discord from time to time. But I have never enjoyed disagreements anywhere as much as I do here (LOL). I have learned, self-evaluated and readjusted my perspective of others because of you and the folks here in BougieLand.

I wish you many more years of success, joy, peace and happiness!

SingLikeSassy said...

I WILL say that this bothered me a bit yesterday: "Trey - the bish had on a sweater set. with pearls. on a date."

Not the sweater set part cause that was funny, but the "bish" part. That seemed extra and unnecessary to me.

Brandon St.Randy said...

<---In treatment for LastWord-itis.

CorettaJG said...

Aren't they?!  My informal non-scientific survey of Georgetown, Baked & Wired, Cake Love and Buzz, has G'Town winning hands down!  I use them for a lot of my events and now they ship(!)  Haven't tried the new Sprinkles or Red Velvet cupcakeries though. :)

tiffanyinhouston said...

Happy Anniversary! You are a toddler now! LOL!! Thanks for the community you have here and for occasionally letting me speak my piece.

I agree that some brevity could be exercised in our comment section.

michaeldavis said...

Happy anniversary!!!

SingLikeSassy said...

Last. word. teehee

GrownAzzMan said...

Happy Blogiversary Chele. Today I will lift a cup of the official drink of the summer, Grey Goose & Cherry Limeade in your honor. Are you coming to LA for the Black Blog Awards?

The_A said...

Happy Anniversary! Thanks for the laughter & entertainment

Here's to a more compassionate community of commentators!

Cheers!

taut_7 said...

happy anniversary. glad to have a blog around like yours. here's to another two years *raises glass*

MariSol said...

Thanks for always being you! *clink*

Natasha Hunter said...

Happy blogiversary!

thinklikeRiley said...

*pops bottles*

CaliGirlED said...

GAM I will be trying that soon! However I am of the mind set that vodka goes with anything! LOL

Bryan Anthony said...

For the newbies - blog rules?

OneChele said...

http://www.blacknbougie.com/p/bouge.html

PatriciaW said...

Congrats on two years of blogging.  I've only recently found you, but I've read some of the back posts.  BougieTales are too entertaining.  Sometimes life is better than art.  Haven't commented much but look forward to future engaging conversation.

OneChele said...

I still struggle with it. I finally got out of the habit of feeling like I had to respond to every single comment. But IRL, I literally have to tell myself "Okay, drop it Michele!" 

I guess my name is "Jay" now? said...

My  bad, ma. I lack in polish and good sense. Plus I'm new here. Please accept my apology. Especially if you're single and Chele might hook us up one day.
(What's the male equivalent of batting eyelashes?)

Cyn said...

Happy Blogaversary and thanks for giving me things to think about and laugh at during my work day.

JaymeC said...

You're doing good things here. Keep it up!

SingLikeSassy said...

Well you are part of the fam (I wear 20 pearls!!) so I'll let it go. ;O)

MichelleG said...

Happy blogiversary!! Thank you for putting to words what many of us believe but were always chastised about saying/thinking/doing. 

Brandon St.Randy said...

agreed. (yes! got the last word!)

OneChele said...

Thanks and welcome!

Jazzy Jazz said...

Happy 2 years chele! Not sure how I found you ( I know I was around for the SnoB wedding ) , but Im glad I did :D

justwannasaythanks said...

Congratulations!  I never comment on this blog but I visit to read what's new all the time.  Quite entertaining, hilarious, and thought provoking. :-)  Thank you for doin' what cha do!

aisha oaktree1122 said...

Happy Anniversary, each post on here makes me glad the day I clicked the link on Essence.com. You have not disappointed (not saying that you will.  The Bougie crew is too amazing especially Dr. Will, Dr. JaymeC, TIH, CaliGirlEd, Amy& Rob (too cute a couple) and Riley. Ya'll make this the most fun reading a person can have on the internet in a while.

Alonda Lord said...

Happy Anniverseary, I am so glad my co-worker told me about this blog because some days this is the best part of the day.

Javalicious said...

SMH & LOL

Rob said...

Two years already!? Time flies.

GammasWorld said...

Happy Anniversary!   Have to watch that fat intake on this cardiac diet so no cupcake for now (saving fat grams for some fries this weekend); but I'll gladly share a glass of Merlot -- apparently *that* can be good for my heart.  Thank you for allowing me to be a part of Bougieland.  

Jubilance said...

Happy anniversary! Here's to more BnB antics in the future!

Brenda Kay said...

Happy Anniversary Chele!  *Raises up a glass of very chilled limonchello*

CaliGirlED said...

Jay is on a mission! LOL

blackprofessor said...

Happy Anniversary!!

I have no idea how I found this blog but it is one of the best IMO!!  I laugh, holler and think on the regular and I am grateful for that! You are to be commended for creating a community where everyone gets along (for the most part) but can still be kept in line by our gracious host.  Here's to many more years of BnB! 

CaliGirlED said...

I'll take Gamma's cupcake, please and thank you.

Cherelle D. Mattox said...

Girl, I'm telling you. You gotta watch those men named "Jay."

jake said...

Keep 'em coming!

Mina B. said...

I'm new to this blog. I found it by voting for someone at the Blackweblog Awards and what a pleasant find this has been! I've stayed up many nights reading older posts, just glued to the screen. You are an excellent writer and in just a short time this blog has really given me a fresh new perspective on some topics and I don't think that would have happened had I not stumbled in here. Thank you Bougieland and Chele! Here's to keeping it Bougie! Laissez les bons temps rouler!

Chloƫ said...

Happy Blogiversary! I didn't know about BnB until I read the "30 Black Women Bloggers..." article. BnB is now my lunchtime read. Thanks for the entertainment & the insight.

William Martin said...

When you work crazy hours, you need things that can quickly take you away from your surroundings, uplift you and send you back better than you were when you left. BnB has been that for me. Plus, thanks to our hostess, I've met great people on and offline.

AppleBerryMIA said...

A lot of good things have happened for me because of this blog. Much love for the bouge!

TypeALady said...

Congratulations!!!  Thanks for an awesome environment to interact with like minded people.  Please continue doing what you do best, being yourself, keeping it real and living your dreams!  You are appreciated:-)

Iced_Coffee_Sweet_Tea_Diva said...

Never a dull moment or post in BougieLand! Graciously declining the cupcake but raising a Sweet Tea toast in congratulations!!

Leo the Yardie Chick said...

*passes out the bougie treats* Happy Blogiversary!

SassyJJ said...

Happy Blogiversary Black n' Bougie!  

LOVE the new design! :)

DayDayne said...

 Happy Blogiversary!  Although I don't comment, I read faithfully. The posts are always great but the community is what keeps my eyes glued to the screen.  Here's to another wonderful, eventful year!

OneChele said...

No I won't make it there that weekend.

Mykeia said...

I am a two days late...but I love the blog and your work, along with this community.  Keep up the good work and Happy Blogiversary!

CorettaJG said...

New Orleans, chere?  Native of Baton Rouge here.

keishabrown said...

*saunters in late....
happy bloga-versary!!!!!!

we thank you for sharing with us. we (I) dont take it for granted that you are REAL person! 

Annette Evans said...

Congradulations, and here's to the coming year of Bougie blogging, I can't wait! Cheers!

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