Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Confident is the new sexy (and the old one too)

And we want it...
So who is it that gets you going? Denzel? Lenny? Brad? Laz? Idris? Halle? Meagan? Gabrielle? Angelina? What do they have in common? It's more than "fine n fit" or easy on the eyes... it's the attitude. That confidence that oozes out of them anytime a light shines their way. It's in the walk (does anyone have a better walk than Denzel?) and the talk. It's in the eyes. It's that certain "oomph" that says "I'm here and you know you know it". Even if it's just in the public persona, it's enough to make us believe something special is there.

Good Lawd, the things that a confident man can get away with. The difference between, "Do you think you might want to do this tonight?" and "Let's do this."? Mmm. That's a whole other topic, let me get back on track. 

I get asked over and over again by men and women alike - what's attractive? What's sexy? What catches someone's eye? You can call it what you want: "That Thing", "Swagger", self-assurance, self-esteem or confidence. It works. This is one characteristic of bougie people that I'd like to pass on to the world. We act like the world is ours when we wake up and we don't need nobody telling us the time. But we're nice about it. That's confidence.

Don't have it? Working on it? Here's a crash course...
Confidence 101
1. Figure out who you are. The good, the bad and the ugly 
2. Be okay with number one 
3. Understand that not everybody else is at number two. 
4. Give not a damn about those people mentioned in number three. 
5. Leave your house as if you are being filmed. Even if you aren't looking hot, walk like you are rocking the hell out of those basketball shorts and wife beater. Head up, shoulders back, easy stride. Fellas, ladies, it's so not bougie to shuffle along like you're on your way to prison.  
6. Smile. I know you don't feel like it. Do it anyway.  
7. Speak. Even if you're not spoken to. "How are you doing today?" If they don't answer, nod and keep it moving.
8. Make eye contact. Number 5, 6, & 7 mean nothing without this. 
9. About number seven, have something to say in case someone follows up. "Umm" is S.No.S. (So Not Sexy) 
10. Never, ever, ever let 'em see you sweat. Your insecurities, your bad day, your baggage from your last relationship needs to stay strapped down and tucked away for private time. As a friend of mine used to say, don't carry your funk on your face. 
And if you can't get past number one... fake it until it's real. Who's with me? Who has one to add? Thoughts, comments, universal cosign (just joking)...

102 comments:

Muze said...

love this. confidence can bump someone from a 7 to a 9. it's a powerful force, i tell you. and the whole tell instead of ask thing with men ... is the truth. good post. 

Natasha Hunter said...

    I really like & agree with this list, but a whisper of caution if you happen to be someone who can't get past #1:

    Faking it until you make it can blow up in your face big time. It might get you in the door, but dealing with a ninja like me who is quick to peel back the layers on that onion can get your azz quickly and rather gruffly escorted out.  Take the time to work on that shid.  Everyone has insecurities and acting like a human being vs some impeccable robot is a lot more relatable and attractive to me.

Just my opinion.

sol_dier said...

Universal Co-sign with a slight note

Note:
confidence = good, arrogance and petulance = bad
Its nice to know the difference.

Bethany Showell said...

Everything but 7.  I don't speak if I don't know you and do NOT speak to me if you don't know me.  That's good for nothing but a side eye and a fast walk.

Natasha Hunter said...

Really?  LOL... Are you the chick that has brothas scared to speak and say "Good morning?"

How is someone supposed to get to know you then? 

Bethany Showell said...

Lol they don't seem to have trouble speaking.  People are bold around here. 

Lady Ngo said...

Very true. Confidence (not cockiness) is extremely attractive. But so is positivity. So many people (myself included) comment on how nobody was checking for them while they were single but once they get in a relationship everyone is trying to talk to them. My own conclusion is that when you were single and lonely you were probably walking around with your face twisted up lol. Now that you've got someone and your happy, you are exuding more positivity (and probably confidence too)

Brneyed1 said...

One: Thanks for the Lenny Kravitz pic.  Having my browser pop open to that hunk of sexy just made my day. 


Two:  no one, NO ONE, walks like Denzel.  I saw him walking away in sweatpants and a hoodie and I was still all DAMN and *SWOON* and *SIGH*.Three: Love the list.  Gotta work on a few of them myself.Four: On #9, the sexiest thing a man that I did not know ever said to me: "I read that book.  What did you think about....".  Men + books that they've actually READ + that are books I find interesting = hotness.Five:  #10 is one I need to work on.  I've been told I have a "glass head" because most everything I'm thinking/feeling shows on my face...can't play poker to save my life (my "tells" are hella easy to spot).  Speaking of faces, "don't carry your funk on your face" will be on my next CafePress t-shirt.

Jubilance said...

I'm generally a confident person, but I've struggled off & on with #3 - not caring what other ppl think of me. I generally can let the judgements/opinions of strangers roll off my back, but I struggle when someone I care about doesn't accept me & the choices I've made in my life. I wonder if its a sign that I haven't completely accepted myself - I'm my own worst critic.

CaliGirlED said...

I love this! I'm working on #7 and #8. It bothers me when I say "Hello, Hi or Good Morning" and people don't answer back. Which is why I don't always make eye contact because my facial expression to someone not speaking is well, not so nice. So it's a process and I'm trying to focus on the speak anyway because it's polite, and eventually not having it reciprocated will hopefully not bother me one bit....Now I'm speaking of strangers because if I know you and you don't speak when I greet you, consider yourself off the greeting list!...I know I know, but that's just rude.

I would just add to your comment about "fake it until it's real" that you should be confident in yourself even while you're figuring yourself out. Because if you're not, then you will easily let someone else define "you" for you. Continuous improvement is a wonderful thing, so never let anyone disregard or discount you during your soul searching journey.

And lastly, there is a HUGE difference between confidence and cocky. And one way to differentiate between the two is something you said, "But we're nice about it. That's confidence.". Confidence is being self assured without having to break someone else down (I am who I am and you are who you are). Being cocky is having disdain for others, a combination of superiority and dislike (I am who I am and you are not)....I have zero tolerance for a man who lacks confidence, or is cocky or arrogant.

Hannington said...

I've always had issues with confidence. Could stem from all the times rejection has knocked on my door. And I do care what others think. Too much. I must argue about "swagger" though. I shouldn't need that to get a girl. I'm working on self though.

Mony_Mony said...

Totally cosign!  I had a friend in law school who had self-esteem issues, partially because she hadn't mastered #1, let alone 2. 3. 4. etc.  And then she had the nerve to tell me I had too much confidence.  Imo, there is no such thing (not to be confused with cockiness or arrogance), especially when living in a society that constantly tries to bring black women down.  I'm still working on #7, at least when it comes to guys I'm actually interested in. 

Just_A_Thought1218 said...

It's a northern/midwest thing. That was the hardest thing to get used to when I moved south.

MichelleG said...

While I agree with #7 in theory since I live in the city as a woman executing is not always safe. I don't look my age at all and still seem to attract the youngins not looking for a cougar but another mark their own age that thinks their mess is game. That same "confidence" that brings attention will have a fool following you as you walk home from picking up a paper 3 blocks away (to the point where I walked 3 more blocks out of the way to pass by police station).   Most recently this past Saturday a fool was in (his/a) car slow riding and hissing at me like I was the dang BronxZooCobra while the males on the street just smiled & stared like I was an albino unicorn (see back in the day real men would have told him to move on & leave me alone). Even on the train I always keep my head down and still seem to attract the recently released/off thier meds residents/visitors to my fair city.That said  I speak to old people on their daily walks & save the speaking for when I'm in a professional environment.

Natasha Hunter said...

Hmm... Born and raised in Minneapolis, Mn. Lived in Hampton Roads, Va. Maryland, Illinois and now Texas. It was the first thing I loved about moving here. Maybe it's a people person or introvert/extrovert thing... Do speak, just don't ask me too many questions, LOL

Natasha Hunter said...

Most of us are our own worst critics. It'd be great if everyone could see ourselves the way others do at times, a la Shallow Hal.

thinklikeRiley said...

Co-sign alladat and bless you for da Halle pic. 

CaliGirlED said...

Hannington let me just say this, rethink the "swagger" thing. And this is why. Denzel is not a "pretty boy", he does not have the perfect face (ever noticed the over bite?). HOWEVER, he has "swagger"! It's his presence, his walk, his talk, his confidence that draws women of ALL races to him! It's his calm, cool and collectedness that screams, "Yeah you want me!"  And all he's doing is smiling. LOL!

I think these statements, "I've always had issues with confidence. Could stem from all the times rejection has knocked on my door.", stem from you feeling you are not worthy. And that is not attractive. So whether it's because of your looks, smarts and/or finances, that you feel "less than", redefine yourself, get to #1!  Once you deem yourself worthy of the kind of women you want, you won't feel that "rejection is knocking at your door", instead you will say, "She wasn't the one for me", or "Hey, her lost"...Hoping to have encouraged you a little. :-)

SingLikeSassy said...

First, I've met Lenny and he is less, um, impressive in person. He has a belly and walks stomach first and smelled like funk and musk oil. And attitude was a lil' bit stank, too.

ANYWAY, I smile at and speak to everybody. EV-ER-Y-BO-DY. I'm Southern, that's how we do. Now, yes, that can bite you in the butt, like the time last week when I smiled at this older man in the grocery store and he stopped to ask if he could give me a compliment then stared lecherously at my ta-tas and said, "You look delicious." Uh, step off grandpa! He did apologize for making me uncomfortable.

And yes, confidence is sexy. I think that's the appeal of "bad boys" cause they usually have a lot (too much?) confidence.

blackprofessor said...

Cosign the entire list! The only other thing I would add is to have some substance behind that swagger!  It is a huge turnoff to meet a man who is uber confident only to discover that he has no substance about him but is confident because of what he has (e.g., degrees, job).  Utter fail!   At the end of the day, confidence is more than looking the part it is also being the part!

blackprofessor said...

Cosign! Lord, there is nothing sexier than a man who reads! Even if we have different taste or like totally different genres, the mere fact that he reads for pleasure is extremely attractive!

OneChele said...

Oh Lawd, not funky musk. I'm going to pretend I never read it. *rewinding*

tishatweets said...

Agreed. On all points. I'd add as a caveat, whilST thou is rebuilding thoust confidence (perhaps after a failed relationship), do us all a favor...and don't date. Clear that up. Then you're good for the masses. Constantly second guessing yourself (key word; constantly), projecting past failures/disappointments onto the new cat/chick, and needing perpetual reassurance and ego stroking is not hot in these dating streets.

Man's World said...

If I had a dime for every woman who gave me the stank eye before I even had a chance to say "Hello" also, if you're in the middle of gaggle of girls, the one I walk up is the one standing proud, head back, looking at me like, "What?"

rozb said...

I learned to enter any social environment with the confidence that I belong there. Part of gaining confidence is educating yourself about the places you want to be and where you see yourself. With that, and knowing you are just as good as anyone else and you belong there, goes a long way.

Also, know the difference between confidence and cocky bravado. Confidence is class; bravado is crass.

Numbers 1 - 4, I'm good.

As for 5, no matter what I am wearing or what my afro is doing at the time, I am holding my head up, and carrying myself with dignity. (Nobody has to know I am just running out for some eggs!)

At 6, I smile just to ensure that somebody gets at least one in their day. Everyone should get a minimum of a smile from somebody, even if they do not know them. And for every five I give out, I get back at least three. (I'm smiling right now!)

For 7, 8, and 9, see #6. I just love engaging folks and seeing what makes them tick. And looking at someone when you speak and smile means they matter, and it isn't just something automatic.

And 10, after 20 years in the military, I learned that being seen crying - male or female - denotes weakness, and that is not what I want to convey. Someone you love dies, cry. Your pet of ten years passes, cry. Your team gets kicked out of the playoffs, go on and let a little water show. But if the issue is professionally related, such as you get a chewing out by your boss, you get passed over for a big project, or you get your ideas stolen and someone else blatantly takes credit, then you better suck it up, put on a sly grin, and get to steppin'. Then take your angry/hurt/vengeful behind to the gym and kick the crap out of the self-defense dummy until you gather yourself. Get a plan, follow through, and come back out on top.

rozb said...

Okay - I am about to die at "funk and musk oil". Why did I always think he smelled like this!

Brneyed1 said...

Ain't it though?

Penny said...

Another co-sign on the man that reads!  There is more to life than ESPN.

rozb said...

Natasha - is that you wearing the crackerjacks? Hello fellow Bluejacket!

OneChele said...

I'm the only one who doesn't mind a little bit of arrogance?

rozb said...

I can co-sign on that one.

Jason P said...

A little swagger never hurts. Trust and believe.

CaliGirlED said...

I will never see Lenny the same! LOL

Grace said...

You are not alone

CaliGirlED said...

"At 6, I smile just to ensure that somebody gets at least one in their
day. Everyone should get a minimum of a smile from somebody, even if
they do not know them."....Ok I'm going to marinate in this one, because it goes with what I believe, "Sometimes you are the only 'Jesus' a person may come in contact with". And you never know whose day your smile is brightening. I've been told this many times by people (men and women) I didn't even think noticed me. I MUST do better!

Jubilance said...

Cosign!

Jubilance said...

I'm a Midwest native & currently I live in MN, and I speak to everyone and I have ppl speak to me all the time. I actually had LESS ppl speak to me on the regular when I lived in Florida.

Not all Northern/Midwesterners are cold & unfriendly.

CaliGirlED said...

For me, by definition (showing excessive pride), I don't think one can be little bit arrogant. But I do think I understand what you mean. I would say I don't mind a very confident man.

OneChele said...

Well there's a tinge of over-the-topness and then there's flat out obnoxious with it. ;-)

CaliGirlED said...

3N vs. the Hater? ;-) LOL

blackprofessor said...

Oh no, you ruined my Lenny fixation! I did hear that he is height challenged but he still looks good!

Leon X said...

Pimp rag, Tootsie Pop, and a cane.

blackprofessor said...

I get what you are saying, but I am like Caligirl.  I can't do the excessive pride but very confident works well as I love humility.

Natasha Hunter said...

Hoo-yah Roz!  Yep that's me back in my Color Guard days, posted it for Memorial Day. :) Trust everytime I read about your retirement and you getting to wear your 'fro without keeping it all packed down, I'm look " Oooh, I can't wait!" LOL 

Natasha Hunter said...

Hehehe.... I gotta add that a dude proudly proclaiming he reads Zane novels doesn't hit the spot for me either. 

Brneyed1 said...

I don't mind the height-challenged part at all.

JP Stunner said...

I always had a problem with #6 or #7 because I'm always in my head.  When I leave the house I'm on a mission and I think nothing but what's my next task.  So I always have my thinking face on which seems to look like a mean or sad face. *Kanye Shrug*  Heck, I'm often have awkward moments when I realize a block later someone was speaking to me & didn't even register...

maureen palmer said...

I have to say I lack in the confidence department; I think mine has a lot do with socialization, but I have been in the U.S long enough to polish it up. *prints and post it on my fridge*

I dig  a confident man, so long as  he is not over the top with that it borderlines arrogance.

maureen palmer said...

Can we say POTUS has swagger to the nth power.  They showed him walk to the G8 meeting and I was like there it is.

CaliGirlED said...

Oh damn, short and funky??? I'm good!

Troy said...

Confidence - Yes.
"My ish don't stink and why are you talking to me?" - No.

Trey Charles said...

Let me ask ya'll this. I get told I'm arrogant all the time. But is it really arrogance when you can back it up?
Please discuss...

OneChele said...

Um, sir - the question itself reeked of arrogance. Just sayin'

OneChele said...

no sir

MariSol said...

I'm still working on number 1 :-(

Sweet N Tart said...

Yes. It really is.

Jesse said...

Dictionary.com:
–noun offensive display of superiority or self-importance; overbearing pride.
No bueno

All Honey said...

I have to work on number 6 and number 7.
I do love a confident man.

SBChitownChick said...

^^^THIS!!!

SBChitownChick said...

I admit I don't a touch of it myself.

MichelleG said...

Its all about execution. You can be arrogant based on what you've done or confident based on your ability to continue to achieve. A man of character doesn't have to throw his superiority into others faces. In fact, his true swagger is shown by how he treats others. Does he pass the ball for the teams benefits or does he selfishly hold on and throw bricks when its an off night? When actors talk about Denzell they don't speak on his abs they speak on how he pulls the best out of them so the result is a product we can all swoon over. In spite of multiple banckruptcies Trump is arrogant about his acheivements & abilities to lead. On the other hand POTUS has overcome a background that no one would envy yet he goes about his work with many constantly challenging his right to be where he is. An arrogant man tells you what he can do, a confident man shows you & inspires you to follow him. I'll put 5 on POTUS everytime he comes to the table.

That said if you have a lot of people in your circle calling you arrogant you either need to check yourself or check the company you keep.  Pigeons always tell eagles they doing too much.

Just_A_Thought1218 said...

Correlation not causation. You'll have way moreofwesterners/northerners say they had to learn to speak to people - especially those that grew up IN the major cities - than those who don't say such things.

Just how extroverted/cordial behavior is read as friendliness, even when that's not necessarily the case.

Just_A_Thought1218 said...

Mayhaps you think you're backing it up, when reality paints a different picture.

CaliGirlED said...

Yes indeed!!! I once saw a picture of him in a regular ol' black suit with a pair of shades on, mid stride and could have just died from Swag Overdose! LOL

CaliGirlED said...

 "An arrogant man tells you what he can do, a confident man shows you & inspires you to follow him." *puts tithes & offering in the plate* Hallelujah and Amen!!!

CaliGirlED said...

 "I get told I'm (fill in the blank) all the time."....It's probably true...If it's a compliment, take it in stride. If it's constructive criticism, take heed. If it's from haters, then "Pigeons always tell eagles they doing too much. "...But do eagles really surround themselves with pigeons? IMHO

CaliGirlED said...

Sidebar: Chele, I saw Gayle's interview with Stedman where she asked him about Oprah, which is something he hardly ever does. I truly believe he made her better instead of the other way around. Or they fed off each other. The things that man said about her and the way he elaborated on her past successes, her current accomplishment and what he wishes for her in the future was just inspirational!

blackprofessor said...

Arrogance (for me) is unattractive regardless of whether you can back it up or not.  The one question I would ask you if is your ego is in check. If you keep your ego in check, then it might be your circle. If your ego is running wild in the streets, then you are arrogant and need to check yourself.  An unchecked ego is not a good look.

Natasha Hunter said...

Just_a_ thought,  you have me thinking... LOL

I will admit that among those of us who grew up IN the cities, we have a shell around us.  I think- nah, I know- I used to have one. People often comment on how hard I used to be and when I see people when I go back home I can tell they're a little reluctant to speak first and still very clique-y. 

Interesting.

michaeldavis said...

CaliGirlED  LOL!  THIS.ALL.DAY.  

blackprofessor said...

An arrogant man tells you what he can do, a confident man shows you & inspires you to follow him - AMEN!!

David Chase said...

You "get told" this because it is true. Backing it up doesn't make arrogance less arrogant.
I say this with the L-O-V-E.

David Chase said...

You "get told" this because it is true. Backing it up doesn't make arrogance less arrogant.I say this with the L-O-V-E.

Natasha Hunter said...

"If it's from haters, then "Pigeons always tell eagles they doing too much. "...But do eagles really surround themselves with pigeons? IMHO"

Dagnabbit, where's my tambourine?

Bunni said...

I'm the same.  At least 3 times a day I have someone telling me to smile. 

Cherelle D. Mattox said...

Co-sign on this all day and night. I had to learn this lesson the hard way early in my life. Just because you can back it up doesn't mean you need to show or tell somebody. Sometimes it's in your best interests to make others shine.

JaymeC said...

Boys... play nice.

Brneyed1 said...

I'll run the brotha some bath water. Maybe him need some assistance....LOL!!

Angela said...

No. I've always been in favor of a little bit of arrogance!

MichelleG said...

If Michael Jackson stayed on that there pole he wouldn't have realized that the crows truly did not have his best interests at heart. You may not always be able to choose who you are surrounded by but you can choose to always do YOUR best and show discernment over who you take constructive criticism from. Either grovel for free bread crumbs with the pigeons in your current situation for life or develop the skills of an eagle who holds the position you are striving for & get ready for the opportunity.

Leon X said...

I'm afraid I wasn't clear on that. Allow me to clarify. http://bit.ly/ljv58x

CaliGirlED said...

Aw but there's a difference in who surrounds you and who you surround yourself with. Your example above is dealing with those who surround you (i.e. family or childhood friends. Sometimes we can't shake them). I was referring to those you surround yourself with (i.e. people who inspire you to be/do better)...If you are the only eagle surrounded by pigeons, then you need to find some other eagles to sore with from time to time, lest you find yourself being a pigeon. (No hate to pigeons, they just have different goals)..MJ did get off that pole, because of his new friends, and Eased On Down The Road. LOL

Paul on Ice said...

You seriously need to pass this out.

C Nelson said...

This is me, too. Life got better for me when I figured out that I was not here to be decorative for strangers, and therefore I don't have to walk around with a fake smile on 24/7. It's okay for me to have a neutral expression, even if women's (and especially black women's) neutral expressions do get misread by other people a lot.  I'd like to ball up #6 (and #7, while we're at it) throw them down the nearest manhole cover -- they're all about policing in exactly the way that the rest of the list does such a great job of doing away with. If I'm okay with me and I don't care if you're not, why do I have to smile on demand when I don't want to?

CaliGirlED said...

Ok so I just played catch up with my best friend from high school. Told her why my the last potential S.O. was kicked to the curb. Her initial response was, "You're too much like a dude". To which I laughed because acouple of decades ago our other best friend (may he R.I.P.) told me that same thing. (After hearing the whole story she did admit that she probably would have been annoyed too). But I have softened up, a lot! Haven't I? Maybe not as much as I thought? Back to #1! LeDamnSigh

C Nelson said...

Figure out where I'm headed and catch me when I'm not trying to get from Point A to Point B to get my stuff done. I had a guy send a single lily to the front desk of the hotel where I worked after seeing me stop to admire one on my walk to work. He got the smile, the hello, the thank you,  and a date. Didn't get past that first date, mind you, but it got him in the door in a way that bothering me on the street would never have done. Seriously, what woman in this day and age arranges dates with strangers who approach her on the street?  Even the sex workers use websites/ads anymore when they're not just desperate for their next fix!

tiffanyinhouston said...

Trey, my dearest: The line between arrogance/confidence and annoying asshole is real real thin. Gotta toe that line verrrrrry carefully. :)

William Martin said...

Trey, my tequila drinking friend, if you have it - you don't have to flaunt it. Everybody knows.

Natasha Hunter said...

Aww hell nah... and that didn't creep you out? LOL

So you were watching me, but you didn't speak?  Nah... I can't get with that.

I get what yah'll saying but if there is ONE thing that I'm a lil' old fashioned about I believe a bruh should speak to sista off the top. You don't have to think I'm fine, you don't have to be interested in me but dammit if you (are) lookin' SPEAK especially if you are of color and/or we see each other often. It may not be neccessary for some,  but it's one of my THINGS.

You know, I'm just like that. I'll compliment a woman if I think she looks nice, I tell a man if his shoe game is tight... that's just how I roll, it don't hurt me none. I get the funky face back sometimes but whatever- you won't get to do it again and there will be a time (since most people dress for other people anyway) you will be looking for me to compliment you and I will look THROUGH you cuz' you were nasty when I was being nice.

Be nice C. Nelson!  LOL 

CaliGirlED said...

 And there it is there!

BrendaKay said...

Walks late into the room, scans the comments, makes a mental note to self ~ never ask a question on Bougieland unless you are FULLY prepared for the answers that you're going to get. 

Turns and walks back out...

Iced_Coffee_Sweet_Tea_Diva said...

"Can we say POTUS has swagger to the nth power. ..."  This all day, AND he has 1-3 and 5-10 down cold!  (He's so chill that he doesn't need to sweat #4)  When I met Senator Obama in 2007 I had heard about his phenomenal memory and engaging manner, and it is all true.  He looks straight at you, learns your name, makes genuine conversation and moves on, but you know that he heard what you said and he knows that you said it.  Definitely has the "it factor".    

Hannington said...

Hmm. But I don;t have "swagger" naturally. Thanks for the encouragement tho.

C Nelson said...

The lily didn't creep me out because: A) not a rose, not a carnation, not a hothouse anything, just a common garden day-lily. Sweet and friendly, not cheesy or even trying for suave. B) He left his number on the card and didn't press by showing up in person. C) I was in uniform during the walk, so no super-sleuthing required to know I was going to work there. D) the note explained that he didn't want to intrude on me while I was out and about on the street. That takes some awareness on a man's part that the majority of male-female-stranger interactions on the streets aren't friendly and cozy; it only takes a few times of returning a guy's hello and having him follow it up with a nasty proposition to make a woman decide "no more". If we make eye contact, I nod. I don't speak unless we're almost within touching distance.

mutemia said...

 I had no problem saying hello to people when I in Pennsecola, Florida. which is a lovely place. D.C. is a whole different story. I generally respond to good morning or how are you doing as long as the guy isn't sleazy. There's a huge difference between Good morning and gooood mooorning baby. Initiating in D.C. would just invite every sleazebag in the area. I agree with everything else though.

CorettaJG said...

Okay!  I'm late and didn't expect the conversation that exploded here from this topic.  Wow. LOL.

AndreaPlaid said...

"An arrogant man tells you what he can do, a confident man shows you & inspires you to follow him. "
::beatnik snaps::

If I may add an addendum: "A confident person may drive and may let you drive. An arrogant person will demand to drive...and drive people off a cliff."

AndreaPlaid said...

::loud whisper:: Wouldn't an eagle eat pigeons? #JustAsking

CaliGirlED said...

Think on these:

"If you think you can, you can. And if you think you can't, you're right." (Mary Kay Ash)

If
you're not being treated with the love and respect you deserve, check
your "PRICE TAG". Perhaps you have marked yourself down. It's "YOU" who
tells people what you're worth by what you accept. Get off the
"CLEARANCE RACK" and get behind the glass case where they keep the
"VALUABLES"!

Be blessed!

Hannington said...

Okay. I'll try to stifle theses feelings. At least I can admit them though, instead of acting as if I don't have them.

Natasha Hunter said...

CaliGirl, stay out of my head!! I just used the clearance rack metaphor on FB this morning!

*I love confirmation... or maybe it's time to go shopping.

Natasha Hunter said...

Ok, ok. :) LOL... maybe my stature keeps men from going too far with me, because rarely has a sober man ever said anything lewd to me during initial contact. I don't respond to cat calls or nothing but I say hello or good morning regularly. 

I can imagine what he would've received  had he left a carnation... LOL!

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