Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Bougie Follow up: The Dear John Letter (with a twist)


So if you've been hanging around BnB for a minute, you know the story of JohnK. His fiancée withheld the cocoa for months and then shared it while they were on tropical vacay all tipsy and whatnot. Unfortunately, she said the wrong name at the exact wrong time. Then he figured out why and broke off the engagement. Then she tried to sue him for all sort of nonsense. The entire saga is here. I had the pleasure of reconnecting with John a few days ago while he was visiting Texas trying to decide between moving to Dallas, Houston or Austin. Ironically, on that same day I had received an email from his ex-fi, Tracey. She wanted to tell  "her side of the story." 

He was dying to see it. I handed him my BlackBerry to read. As he was reading it, he said, "I don't even want to know how she found out about the blog post. Are you going to publish this?" 

"No, I don't support rampant ratchetery and tomfoolery from people that hurt my friends." 

He nodded, "Can I answer her? On your blog? We could call it my closure letter." My eyes lit up. Oooh. That sounded like good blog fodder. So without further ado... John's response (with a few of my edits) to the five-page "it's not my fault" letter from his ex-fiancée Tracey...
Hey Trace,
Just read the letter you wrote to Michele. At first only one word came to mind: Wow. But then I sat with it for a second and decided I have answers to some of your questions.
I haven't seen you since you came by the office and made a scene in the lobby. Sorry about that overzealous security guard. He didn't mean to bounce you out of the building like that but when they say "Ma'am you really have go" that means you really have to go. I know you have problems comprehending what people say to you from time to time thinking that the rules apply to everyone else but you. Any luck getting the security company to reimburse for the grass stains on your pants? 
I understand you were angry that I took back the car. No, I can't call it stealing because it belonged to me. I bought it. I possess the title. Do you know what's ironic? Let me tell you. When you sued me, I had to go to court. And after everything was thrown out and the judge basically laughed us out of the courtroom, I had to cut across a couple of parking garages to get to my car. It wasn't until I walked past that shiny little navy Audi coupe that I remembered. I bought that for you last summer when your Honda was acting up and I still thought you were going to be Mrs. Kendall. So see, if you hadn't sleep around on me, lied, got caught, got broken up with and then tried to stick me for my paper (RIP Biggee) I never would've seen the car. Now that's irony. Or poetic justice or one of those karma type instances. 
So yes, I did send my cousin Royce to retrieve my property in the middle of the night. To use one of your colorful phrases, "What's mine is mine." And really, my sister Pam deserves it so much more than you. I know she always hated your guts and I do apologize that she came by your house beeping and honking. But like you always said - I can't control who I'm related to. 
I think we both know there's nothing left to say or do here. With that 20/20 hindsight, I'm going to agree with you that I was "a distant, workaholic, control freak" - sure, I could see where some of that is true. Funny how you never mentioned any of this before though like when your hand was weighed down by four carats and clutching the keys to a brand new German car. I mean I could call you a lying cheating mercenary drama queen but where would that get us? Exactly where we are now. 
Yes, I am moving to Texas. For many reasons. First and foremost, it's a promotion. Also, have you seen what houses are going for there? Did you know there's no state income tax? There's a place in Dallas that has a tequila bar. A. Tequila. Bar. Over 50 kinds of tequila in one place. Houston has a Pappadeaux on every other corner. (If you don't know what one is, thank me later) Tex-Mex food is a religious experience. And the women in Texas... well I'll just be nice and say none of them are you. And that's a very good thing. 
All best,
John
Whelp! Tracey, I don't know you but I did read most of your lengthy-azz letter. Nothing in there explained your low-rent move of bumpin' and a-grindin' on your Pilates instructor. Methinks you take personal training a little too personally. If you need a "takeaway' as you so eloquently put it... it's this: move on. In the words of Smokey from the perennial classic "Friday" - you got knocked the f*** out! Bougie bites back, babe. Don't come round here no' more, ya hear?

BougieLand, if you had a chance to write a closure letter to your ex, what would you put in it? Would you send it? Think Tracey will go away now? Thoughts, comments, insights?

166 comments:

Brendadc said...

I'm laughing at the part where his sister drove by the house in the car that his ex used to have - beeping and honking!

J. Jackson said...

 Wow, I see that John had to enlist them "other" relatives (which BTW there's nothing wrong with that). I'm just glad the case was thrown out of court. That Tracey had a lot of balls, but it looks like it didn't get her anywhere because she's not engaged, doesn't have a car, and seems to be on the mend. Hey, maybe she can find that Pilates instructor and hitch a ride with him... on the bus. hahaha

P.S. Congrats on the move John! I'm trying to talk my best friend into leaving Cali for Texas. I know one of my friends who stay in the Fort Worth area and she LOVES it!

David Parrish, Jr.(Inkognegro) said...

 Whatever helps you sleep at night, I suppose.  

I'm sure she did even more dirt than has been illustrated in all this, but That's kinda not the point.  

I guess This is entertaining for yall...and i feel kinda wet blanketish for even saying it, but Much wacker stuff has appeared in Blog Comments, even this one.  

No grave is worth dancing on...Especially when youre dancing for a crowd.

Jubilance said...

I can't believe the ex sent a 5-page email trying to explain her side. For why? No email can explain away her cheating with the personal trainer. And why does she want to explain to BougieLand anyway? If she really cared about what ppl thought about her, she would have thought about that BEFORE the cheating and BEFORE she tried to sue John (and I STILL don't understand her rationale for that one).

Now that you've written the closure letter John, how do you feel? Did you have closure before this?

Natasha Hunter said...

Ok, ok... John was getting his Oran Juice Jones on in his reply, LOL... "Scat!"

She's not through tho'... John has to get booed up and happy before the final act of this perfomance.

Yikes.

Sarah said...

I'm sitting here drinking my tea, staring at the screen, and wondering why she could have thought writing Chele was a good idea. Somebody might have told her about the blog, but I'm thinking she hasn't actually read any of it. Definitely past time for moving on. I'm glad John is putting some physical distance between the two of them. She seems like somebody who might become a long-term stalker/disruptor if John was an easy distance away. Good luck with the move to Texas. No State Income Tax? Really? Hmm....

Wanyanak said...

What a tool! The fact that she even wrote to you hints at
someone delusional who refuses to take any responsibility for her actions. If I
had a chance to write a closure letter mine would just have two words… Foxtrot Oscar !! ;)

OneChele said...

I wondered why she thought she should give her side without explaining the Kevin of it all. Makes no sense at all.

OneChele said...

I wondered the exact same thing!

OneChele said...

I think SHE has to get booed up before she'll move on. If John finds someone before she does, it could get ugly.

CaliGirlED said...

Oh my word!!! Even as I type this my mouth is still open! No for real you guys! John I salute you!!!...Ok let me read these comments because I can't even get my thoughts together! *closes mouth*

Mony_Mony said...

Game, set, match!  Bougie don't play dat! Good thing she "reminded" you to get the car back.  She's already taken more than enough from you.  Hopefully a change of scenery will give you a chance to regroup and figure some things out before jumping back into the dating pool

tiffanyinhouston said...

 Dear Trace,
 
#NoCountryForSillyHoes
 
I mean seriously. You should feel like a first class jackass right about now. JohnK iced you up and laced you with fine German engineering and you screwed THAT up??
 
And that's just the icing. He seems like a genuinely nice and decent man, which is even more important than the material stuff. Now I'm sure he's not perfect, because no man or woman is.
 
But I bet he'll be damn perfect for some smart woman from the Great State of Texas. 
 
You feel real dumb right now, huh?
 
You should.
 
Love,
TIH

OneChele said...

BWAHAHA!
Tell 'em why ya mad TIH!

CaliGirlED said...

Hey J. tell your friend that CaliGirl said she won't regret it!!! I NEVER thought I would leave L.A. Unfortunately God had to take from me in order to prove me wrong, and here I am living in Houston and loving it! I have not regretted this decision, not one day. (Ok maybe the first time I saw some huge monstrosity crawl out of the bathroom sink. But I "manned" up and got over it. LOL)

OneChele said...

She should have just walked away with some class (and a car) but nooooo...

CaliGirlED said...

" For why?"...Love it!

CaliGirlED said...

I agree!

Bethany Showell said...

Well THAT made my morning.  But damn...she's...wow... 

rozb said...

I did not know ratched skanks had a side to tell.

John - I salute you, dude! The letter was sublime, with notes of both subtle sarcasm and some outright calling her A out on her mess. can a female be a tool? Oh yeah - the garden variety kind...rhymes with no.

I hope you get all you can out of life in Texas, including a woman with some sense, dignity, and a deep love for you. You deserve it.

rozb said...

It's John's world, and she's just a squirrel trying to get a nut! 

rozb said...

Unless he gets a woman that knows how to put a stop block on the shiggity. The ex doesn't seem bright, scary, or brave...just plain ol' silly.

rozb said...

I bet that was HILARIOUS!

michaeldavis said...

yeah like Juice said "nun-uh don't go looking in that closet, 'cause everything you came here with is packed up and waiting for you in the guest room....'cause you're DISMISSED!"  

michaeldavis said...

That, and roaches can fly here.  What was it? My Uncle had a scorpion in his bathtub once...

michaeldavis said...

 John, my brother, welcome to Texas.  Once I moved here I knew I was staying for life., welcome to Texas.  Once I moved here I knew I was staying for life.

CaliGirlED said...

"So see, if you hadn't slept around on me, lied, got caught, got broken
up with and then tried to stick me for my paper (RIP Biggee) I never
would've seen the car. Now that's irony."...Karma is a bitch! When will people get this???...Trace don't believe that fat meat is greasy!!!

By the way John I love your greeting, "Hey Trace". That alone says so much! I guarantee you she read that part more than once. Thinking, "Hey Trace", what's that supposed to mean? Ha!....John you are a class act! Let me be the first to applaud you *stands and claps slowly, grinning from ear to ear as if my son just received his diploma*

And Chele, you know you are a mess, "In the words of Smokey from the perennial classic "Friday" - you got knocked the f*** out! Bougie bites back, babe. Don't come round here no' more, ya hear?" LOL!!!....What she "thunk", we were going to have sympathy for her tired scandalous trifling whoremongering stupid lying need to get a clue classless inconsiderate selfish disgraceful (oh I'm sorry) ASS!!! hmph

Jazzy Jazz said...

john - well done sir ! Enjoy Texas. Im seriously considering a move to Texas myself. 

And Trace- learn some class ... and how to keep the skank in you under control

Cherelle D. Mattox said...

John I'm glad you are getting closure and moving on but I have a feeling she will be back. You see crazy people that take no responsibility for their actions just have no sense of boundaries. In fact oh girl reminds me of DFKN SEW who proceeded to move to TX to continue the stalking and drama. I pray to God oh girl doesn't do this to you but rest assured Bougieland got your back. In any event her loss is our gain here in TX. *Damn arse scallywag*  

CaliGirlED said...

She betta ask somebody! Baybay!!!

Earthangel172 said...

Bravo John and welcome to Texas....the land of abundant Tex-Mex food! LOL

OneChele I can't believe she wrote that letter. Seriously, what did she think you were going to say?

Moving right along...

Earthangel172 said...

" In the words of Smokey from the perennial classic "Friday" - you got knocked the f*** out"

::DEAD::

Earthangel172 said...

"John was getting his Oran Juice Jones on in his reply, LOL... "Scat!"

too.damn.thru. bwahahahahahahahaha!

MichelleG said...

Well said John, well said! As TIH expressed  you seem like a genuinely nice and decent person. Keep your radar up since the riff raff always aim higher than they should but with due diligence will get found out for who they is.  If you end up in Houston I have a great candidate for you when you are ready. In the meantime I got $10 on the gas if your sister needs assistance with her Sunday drives :).

Earthangel172 said...

  (Ok maybe the first time I saw some huge monstrosity crawl out of the
bathroom sink. But I "manned" up and got over it. LOL)

I'm assuming that huge monstrosity was a TEXAS-sized roach...LOL..I've been in Houston since 92 and I will never get use to seeing them. LMBO

OneChele said...

The sister doing driveby honk 'n wave is comic genius!

tiffanyinhouston said...

Howdy to all these Texas people on the blog!!!

JohnK, I have SEVERAL candidates that I can personally vouch for that are sane, gainfully employed and pretty. I don't roll with ugly chicks..

So come on down to the city of H-Town!!!

CaliGirlED said...

Chele killed you with that one! LOL

CaliGirlED said...

Is BougieLand about to take over Texas??? LOL

sugahoneyicedtea said...

Ooohoo hoo! Daaaang..Nope, I think she's gone for good. I despise people who can't take responsibility for their actions..And the Pilates instructor? That is sooo cliché..

rozb said...

Don't touch that coat!

Just_A_Thought1218 said...

Hehehehehe *cues Andre 3000 voice* "go John PDX!"

Man really? That chick? iCant

As a former investigator for a state agency, I will tell you that the same traits that make a good investigator also make a good stalker. Especially if people use their real name for social media. Add to that the popularity of this's saga's posts, and I'm surprised that it took her this long to trespass in boogie land.

What really bothers me about some people is that they want certain attributes but not everything associated with those attributes. High achieving people don't have time to be all up under you because they are out there *drumroll please* achieving. if you want a kneegrow w/ oodles of time on his hands then get you a pookie & enjoy his poverty.

I don't have any closure letters to write. For those exes where I might have been tempted to write one, Cee lo's single sums up everything I would want to say.

SingLikeSassy said...

My first thought after reading it and giggling is: John, how did you get hooked up with this chick? I can't believe she JUST became this ratchedazz person. What was so wonderful about her that made you want to put four carats on her hand and buy her a car etc? I'm genuinely curious as there are so many women out there that would not have treated you in this way but you didn't try to wife them -- so why THIS one?

As for what I would write to my ex...for most of last year (and a little bit of this year), I likely would have written a scathing scorched earth letter. Cause I was mad as hell. Now, I don't think I could be bothered to write anything.

OneChele said...

*snickers*

CaliGirlED said...

Girl I had never seen anything like it!!! I felt so violated! But he had to go! Saw one in my garage last week, almost twisted my ankle, in my wedge heels, trying to stomp his behind! LOL

OneChele said...

And here's bad news, if you stomp them and don't spray to kill - sometimes the eggs live on. Always douse with Raid or Lysol. #Trustmeonthis

Joycelyn Curry said...

High achieving people don't have time to be all up under you because they are out there *drumroll please* achieving. if you want a kneegrow w/ oodles of time on his hands then get you a pookie & enjoy his poverty.---THIS!

I was telling a friend this very thing not too long ago as she complained that her dude did not spend enough time with her.  I suggested a different type of man and she took offense. 

Leo the Yardie Chick said...

Now I really want to read that e-mail!

Cherelle D. Mattox said...

Apparently we are taking over BougieLand. I didnt realize there were so many TX people on here. 

GrownAzzMan said...

 Wow! Just Wow! The only thing I would say to John is think twice about that Texas move. I hear you about the now state tax and Pappadeaux is a national treasure but two words: Red State. In every since of the word. That is something I never want in my life...

rozb said...

The original version of the song at that!

GrownAzzMan said...

One more time...WE SEE YOU! LOL 

rozb said...

Just for you John...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9dZW1C3neao

OneChele said...

The whole state isn't red, sir. I live in one of many blue counties in DFW making us more of purplish hue.

GrownAzzMan said...

 "I bought you things that you couldn't even pronounce..."

rozb said...

Chele - can we have a peek-a-boo at the email? *big giant puppy dog eyes*

OneChele said...

Oh I think we know quite enough about Tracey & John's adventures ;-)

blackprofessor said...

Wow! Some women have a lot of nerve.  She squandered what many of us are hoping to snag, smh!! I think Trace will return as she sounds like she has a huge ego like SEW from DFKN.  If she has the nerve to send a letter like this, she has big balls to do other stuff.  She will probably surface when you have really moved on with your life so get ready.    

I once wrote a 5 page, single-spaced letter to an ex. I told him everything I ever wanted to tell him and don't plan on ever speaking to him again after that. It was actually very cathartic!

Just_A_Thought1218 said...

This is why I <3 u TIH. You said everything I wanted to say.

Pretty Primadonna said...

YES! iDied with that! 

Just_A_Thought1218 said...

And you know this. No radio edits around these parts.

Jeannette said...

I hear ya on the Red State thing growing up in a Blue State.. you do encounter much ignorance but I do like Texas.  There are Democrats in Texas... please believe it.

CaliGirlED said...

Thanks Chele! Yeah it's time to spray again! I have the Home Defense from Home Depot, it works pretty good, but you know there's always those knuckle head roaches! LOL

CaliGirlED said...

That's it!!!!!! ROTF LMAO!!!

Jeannette said...

We all know how it happens... "When Good Men For a Big Butt/Tittays/Long Swinging Hur/Good Cocoa and a Smile". 

CaliGirlED said...

You are too funny!!! Hey I need to talk to you. Check your fb inbox in a few.

CaliGirlED said...

Are you in Houston?

CaliGirlED said...

No you didn't! LOL....I'll have to watch this at home tonight because it has taken on a whole new meaning. "Hey Trace", still LMAO off at that!

mojitochica said...

Tracey, go sit down somewhere far away from here. You are truly delusional. John, I'm astounded you forgot you gave someone an Audi... Good luck with your move and promotion. And since you'll be in Texas you should let OneChele vet anyone you want to get serious with.

Onto the questions. I never did closure letters. I figured ceasing all communication was good enough.

Sadly I don't think we've heard the last of dear Tracey. She will be back with SEW level shinanigans some time down the line. I wouldn't be surprised if they were related.

Earthangel172 said...

 LMBO!

Cherelle D. Mattox said...

Nope, I'm in Austin now but moving back to Dallas in July after I graduate this week.  

GrownAzzMan said...

I certainly understand that there are blue areas in Texas, but y'all still have Rick Perry. No merci' 

tishatweets said...

Boy, she’s about a raggedy behind woman, no? I mean this is one basic yamp! I will say this, though; while I understand that moment when every fiber of your being wants to respond to high-levels of sheer and utter ratchetness and tomfoolery completed at your expense…..sometimes? The best response? Is to simply act like said ratchet behind person doesn’t even exist, and pen no response at all. Yeah, it makes for great blog fodder and even before that certainly makes you feel good for the moment (been there, done that, got the t-shirt and the “tell-her-what-she’s-won-Bob!” prize), but the fact that they elicited a response from you could very well be the exact thing they wanted, and thus they *kinda* win. Again. And….the last thing we want an individual this triflin’ to do is win.

So my thought, John? Do.not.engage. Any more. ‘Cause….I’m of the same mind as everyone else…this was not her swan song. She will be back. I would that you not give her any of what she wants by way of response or interaction. I know how it is, though. TRUST. I mean there have been times where I almost had to literally sit on my hands in an effort to not respond to an email/text/letter, whatever. It felt unnatural and counter-productive…but….the end result? I taught that man how to treat me. Teach this here chick that you are not to be effed with.

JohnKinPDX said...

 Co-sign.

tishatweets said...

Yep. That. In all seriousness.  

JohnKinPDX said...

I'm in Risk Analysis. Believe me, had I seen an inkling of this level of shiggity from Tracey in the first two and a half years, I would have been gone. It seriously wasn't until after we got engaged that her personality just flipped. The 4 carats and the car - in my mind, that's how the future Mrs. Kendall should roll.

Don't get me wrong, I like hot cocoa but at one time she was bringing so much more to the table that I was willing to do without it to be with her till death did us part. She was warm, intelligent, ambitious, a conversationalist, a Church-attending woman (she called  herself Christian and for the most part, I believed her). She was (I thought) the total package. We had similar ideologies and thought processes and we (I thought) loved one and other.

I don't know, SLS, maybe I was blinded but I thought I made a good choice. Until I realized I didn't. Is there a magic "she'll turn ratchet" in 2 years test I could've given? If so, please forward ASAP.

JohnKinPDX said...

 I appreciate the hook-up and the prescreen!

JohnKinPDX said...

 Thanks Brother Michael, I see you doing big things in big D. I met about ten people who spoke highly of you.

JohnKinPDX said...

 New ringtone?

JohnKinPDX said...

Thanks everybody for the comments, suggestions, support, cheerleading, etc. BougieLand is good people.

GammasWorld said...

 So what I learned today:  1) BougieLand does really exist --- it's just called Texas to us common folk and 2) Chele ain't the one -- you will be put on blast for ratchetassness   

JohnKinPDX said...

 I feel like I don't have anything left to say or prove about it. Getting past the date when we were supposed to be married was a little rough. Going to Dallas and having Trey, David and Owen (JaymeC's husband) introduce me to blue tequila was life changing.  I don't know if all of this equals closure but I feel pretty good... all things considered.

thinklikeRiley said...

 I don't even wanna know how fine this chick was to be getting fo' (not four) fo' carats and an Audi? John - you doing too much. Next chick get cubic zirconia and a bus pass till you sho she gonna ack right.

Trey Charles said...

 Flaming blue tequila. It was the flames that did it.

Cherelle D. Mattox said...

THIS. RIGHT. HERE.

Leave it to Riley to put it in perspective. I darn near choked on my juice reading this response. 

Trey Charles said...

This letter is everything. EVERYthing. EVERYTHING!
*copies for future reference*

Grace said...

Um, um, um. I should have written a closure letter. Even if I never sent it, it would have exorcised a demon or two. I'm too through with girlSkank getting tossed out by security. 

Jason P said...

Dayum Tracey! You were up for Pimpette/Playette of the year until you got caught out there. With a Pilates instructor? Girl please. Go sit your 5 cent azz down. 

JaymeC said...

 This happens more often than people know. Some people have been known to create an entire alternate personality until they get what they want and then the "real" person shows up. Count it a blessing that you found out prior to the ceremony and can consider it a lesson learned.

SingLikeSassy said...

Is there a magic "she'll turn ratchet" in 2 years test I could've given? <--If I had this test I wouldn't be getting divorced. ((hugs))

I just get tired of seeing seemingly good dudes go out like this over some ol' trick azz ho when I personally know lots of good women who genuinely want love with with no carats, the car they bought and barren wombs. Sigh.

JaymeC said...

 Exactly why MrC is not allowed out with you boys again. Took that fool 4 days to recover.

rozb said...

Of course! If necessary, make it a ringback tone with her name attached, so every time she attempts to call you she hears this.

OneChele said...

Not the CZ and a bus pass?! Done. 

OneChele said...

Agreed. Cosign. ^5'd. 

OneChele said...

She is a nervy one, isn't she?!5 page single spaced... girl, that's a thesis! 

OneChele said...

*snickers* 

OneChele said...

#NoCountryForBlueLiquor 

rozb said...

If there was such a test, I would have trademarked and patented it long ago. Ratched folks should be like Mogwai - throw water on them to watch if they become materialistic and tacky, and feed them after midnight to see if they turn into all-out, easily identifiable skanks. If none of these things happen, you should be okay, but if they do...you have instant results and you can move on.

Sadly, I have not come up with a valid skank test or skank meter, but if I do, I will keep Bougieland posted.

maureen palmer said...

  A friend once told me,  difficulties in life represent doors you must go through. This too shall pass John. File this whole thing under "Ad Ingenium faciendum." Here is an *e-hug*.

DesertBlack said...

It's all about the purple ... right?  :) 

Mykeia said...

Congrats on your graduation!!!  It will feel sooooo good to be done! 

OneChele said...

But of course!

Jubilance said...

:-) Well as long as you're feeling good. Good luck on the move.

CaliGirlED said...

She thought she HAD John and that they were past the point of no return. Clearly she underestimated John!

CaliGirlED said...

Thank God her "true" self was revealed before the nuptials. Most people spring out of the box after the wedding. Even more evident of how stupid her trick ass is! She underestimated you, she lost, someone else will win....Oh and many a men and women hide behind the "Christian thang". I don't care if you spend all day and night in the pulpit, I need to see the Jesus in you, not just hear you talk about it or go to church!

Zee Xee said...

Wowzer!!!  Happy that John was able to find closure in this mess.  Well stated!  Also, welcome to Texas!!

BlackButterfly said...

BING! BANG!! BOOM!!!

John handled it and turned the page.

GrownAzzMan said...

*fist bump* on the New Jack City reference... 

GrownAzzMan said...

"So my thought, John? Do.not.engage. Any more."Whenever I want closure I close the door at my end of the hall and don't look back. 

AndreaPlaid said...

She *didn't* explain Kevin? ::direct laser side-eye:: On that alone, I think my "closure" would have been two words: "Girl, BYE!" 

AndreaPlaid said...

"Ratched folks should be like Mogwai - throw water on them to watch if they become materialistic and tacky, and feed them after midnight to see if they turn into all-out, easily identifiable skanks. If none of these things happen, you should be okay, but if they do...you have instant results and you can move on."

::catches ride on low-swinging sweet chariot, goes home:: 

CaliGirlED said...

And with a grass stain on her pants??? I would pay to see that video!

NY2VA said...

 You gotta get on outta here with that alley cat coat wearin', hush puppy shoe wearin' crumb cake I saw you with...You gotta get on outta here with that alley cat coat wearin', hush puppy shoe wearin' crumb cake I saw you with...

rozb said...

 You might want to light it on fire after dousing it. Not a pyromaniac, just sayin'...

rozb said...

 When I went to boot camp in Florida, I saw flying roaches. Flying. Roaches. Looked like little stogies zooming around the place. Needless to say - I did not sleep at all.

Penny said...

A friend told me long ago "Sometimes you have to make your own closure."  I now agree with her. 

John, congrats on the promotion, and best of luck in the next phase of your life in Texas.  I am sure you will find someone that really loves and appreciates you for you, not the jewelry and cars you can buy.

michaeldavis said...

 I missed the grass stain reference in the letter.  iCannot #DEAD#

michaeldavis said...

wow John, really?  *humbled* 

OneChele said...

You're big time.

Moabmu said...

 I've only written one closure letter, but it didn't do much good because the ex had "questions" and ish after reading it. Although I know that I explicitly stated not to contact me ever again.

John is the bomb-diggity! I'm not sure that I would/could be as tactful as he's remained throughout this ordeal. I mean, I would have had to AT LEAST 'ack a fool' just one GOOD time.

She showed up at your place of employment? 'Got thrown out by security? Like you owed her money or slapped her mama or something!?!? Typed a 5-page letter to explain her side of the story without true explanations for her ratchetassness?!? REALLY!?! She deserves more than grass stains on her pants - more like tire tracks across her feet - run over that ho's toes (but I digress... running over people's feet isn't quite bougie, now is it?)!!

Kudos to you John for keeping it classy. May you encounter nothing but happiness, peace, and blessings for the rest of your days. Amen.

Jadaloves said...

I'm late, but have been following this saga.  All I have to say is BIG hugs to John!  Hon you sure came out the winner in this situation.  I hope you have nothing but great experiences going forward.  And enjoy Texas!  Great letter! 

Jadaloves said...

I am in *TEARS* at the CZ and the bus pass.  *Expires*  Somebody spread my ashes over the healing waters of Lake Minnatonka! 

MichelleG said...

I'm not from Texas but one of my oldest & dearest friends is in Houston. I had a great time when I visited.

Brneyed1 said...

My first day back in Bougieland after a brief hiatus and I'm welcomed with this treat! Great post! AND the invite on what I would write in a closure letter to the ex?? WHEW! I thank 6lb, 8oz, infant baby Jesus that I read this BEFORE I got to Happy Hour.

Brneyed1 said...

My first day back in Bougieland after a brief hiatus and I'm welcomed with this treat! Great post! AND the invite on what I would write in a closure letter to the ex?? WHEW! I thank 6lb, 8oz, infant baby Jesus that I read this BEFORE I got to Happy Hour.

CaliGirlED said...

And we'll do the "Purple Rain" arm wave....Ooooh Ooooh Ooooh Ooooh

jake said...

If you find that test, please pass it along.

Javalicious said...

Worse yet, she's gonna marry some lesser dude and be mad at him for the rest of their days that he isn't the man she drove away. 

Javalicious said...

I just don't even understand, she couldn't hold it together for another year? She threw all that away for a glorified trainer? I. can't. fathom. the. stupidity.

Man's World said...

I once tried to have a "closure conversation" and let's just say it went poorly. Now the only closure I need is the sound of the door as you walk away (or I walk away). Either or. Bye.

OneChele said...

You don't really want to understand how a mind like that works. 

OneChele said...

"girlSkank" <-- using it.

J. Jackson said...

Cali,

I'm trying to tell her that! She recently had a baby girl 8 months ago, and her boyfriend doesn't want to leave Cali because he says that, "Texas wages doesn't compare to Cali wages." But like I told him the cost of living is SO much cheaper in Texas. I'm still going to try to tell her though. I moved to Charlotte close to 2 years ago (August 2nd baby) and I haven't looked back. At this point, you can't pay me to move back to Cali. It's good to visit, but to live... chile please! LOL

mutemia said...

Love the letter, so classy and pulled together unlike your trifling ex. LMAO at your sister and the Audi.

Lisalis said...

Here's my question...is there ANYTHING you can say to someone you love when you see them dating someone so obviously awful?   Friends don't let friends date Tracey.

Angel Blanca said...

"Bougie bites back, babe," this has to be my all-time fave line! *adds to my repertoire*

John, I'm glad you've got the promotion and are looking forward to enjoying life now that you've been spared the train wreck that was your ex.

Tracey, well, what can I say?  You blew it big time, and hindsight probably hasn't made you any smarter about this whole situation, particularly as you wrote such a lengthy message.  While I've not read the letter, I'll bet it pushes blame off on so many different people and reasons, without accepting the singular role you played in the entire fiasco, doesn't it?  This just means that you're not really sorry for what you did, but sorry that you got caught doing it and that you're not getting another opportunity to to work (what you think is) your magic upon John and reel him back in.  I said in the original post that you make it hard for other women out here, but in reality, you don't.  Men who are interested in women will still seek us out, whereas those who are interested in game-playing girls, pretending at being real women will find you ready and willing to trade a diamond (no matter how rough you thought it to be) for CZ.

Glad to see this resolution.

Earthangel172 said...

 D.N.R.

::DoNotResuscitate::

Earthangel172 said...

 #cosign

Natasha Hunter said...

Chicks like that will usually be re-booed up in 20 minutes , cuz they don't really know how to stand alone. 

My theory is that when she gets booed up she'll be dormant, but when she gets wind of his happiness (which although she'll be booed up first, she won't be happy but we know John's going to wait until everything's sorted out before getting booed up, right? RIGHT)  all the isht's gonna hit the fan because "How dare he be happy WITHOUT me?" and "What is he going to do for HER?"

I could be wrong, I mean I'm not Carnac the Magnificent but I'd suprised if she'd let his happiness ride regardless of her status.

MelaninEnriched said...

#D.E.D., yes D.E.D....I can't even comment on that! LMAO!!! So apropos!

CaliGirlED said...

 LMAO!!!..."Now I can't give you nothing but advice"! Did yall peep ol' girl walking down the street looking busted?!!...That was a bougie dismissal for real! LOL

CaliGirlED said...

"Friends don't let friends date Tracey."  Classic!!!

Iced_Coffee_Sweet_Tea_Diva said...

 This. right. here. ------>"...Sadly I don't think we've heard the last of dear Tracey. She will be back with SEW level shinanigans some time down the line. I wouldn't be surprised if they were related."

Iced_Coffee_Sweet_Tea_Diva said...

Considering that this is the same shape-shifter who asked you when you were changing the beneficiary on your life insurance policy, you dodged an atomic bullet!

Iced_Coffee_Sweet_Tea_Diva said...

*Lights out and fade to black*

Iced_Coffee_Sweet_Tea_Diva said...

The po-po will be here by the time I finish typing because of all of the screaming at Riley's post!   

Iced_Coffee_Sweet_Tea_Diva said...

 I.DIED! about 140 times while reading these comments.  Congrats on your promotion and move John, but keep your eyes open and doors and windows locked!  

sol_dier said...

John,  Did you have to pay court costs? or was she held liable for your legal fees?.

Glad its over,  You were entirely too generous in even responding, and she is a bit of an attention 'night walker'. Nothing more to say on her. 

Just Ang said...

 Your sister rolling past in the car was the icing on the cake for me and AGAIN whos cutting a fool at someones JOB?!?!?

Chile, boo! Better tighten up Tracey.

Just Ang said...

Riley, I try but I just cant quit you. Your foolishness is priceless.

Never mind the car and the rock. John is a good looking man, and hes good people??? And but ya cheated??
Pls "Wade in the Water" bc I cant with that... 

SassyJJ said...

 *applause*  Best of luck in this new chapter in your life!

Grrrr, TX takeover, I see!  I guess Imma need to do my transition sooner than later.  We shall see when I move my sister out there for college in a few months.

Mykeia said...

Congrats to you on this closure.
I have to let you know that I am in PDX also...yesterday I read this post at work, went my usual way home and saw three blue Audis...never paid soooo much attention to blue Audis before.  None of the drivers were your sister (all old Caucasian men) but now every time I see a blue Audi I can't help but dye from laughter!  

L. Michelle said...

Hey John! Congrats on your decision to move to Texas. It's a GREAT State. If you decide to move to Austin, let a sista know!  LOL

I've never written a closure letter, but I could see how that would be therapeutic.  

sunt97 said...

CTFU, that was probably one of the most hilarious letters I have ever read.   Ah it feeels good to be back here reading again.

Peace, Love and Chocolate
Tiffany

aishao1122 said...

 ahahahhahahahhahahhahahahahha fell over Dead John you are too funny, your sister is nice for that. LOVE LOVE LOVE this.

aishao1122 said...

 ever tried to tell a friend their judgement is off??? yeah never works out well, not if you want to keep the friendship 

Lisalis said...

 I know, I know....just hoping someone else out there in Bougie Land had some success with this "please don't date him/her" conversation and could give me a tip.

CorettaJG said...

Oh. My. Word. LOL!  I think this matter should be considered handled!

And Texas is a good place to be.  My sister is in Arlington and loving it.

CorettaJG said...

 We have those in Louisiana, lol.

CorettaJG said...

Moissanite? Diamonique?  Not the CZ.

Stank_0 said...

 Two words: Texas Triangle. The area encompassed by Dallas, Houston, and Austin. 

grinandbearit said...

Yay, John for moving on. And can I just say how lucky you are to have a drive-by sister?

CorettaJG said...

This is semi-tangentially related: http://www.essence.com/entertainment/hot_topics/taraji_p_henson_michael_ealy_think_like_a_man_steve_harvey.php.  O_O

Cautiously optimistic?

Alvin Milton said...

I want to move to TX

Trey Charles said...

Come on down bruh

One Chele said...

 "Sometimes you have to make your own closure."  I like it!"Sometimes you have to make your own closure."  I like it!

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