Monday, May 16, 2011

Bougie Bachelorette Chronicles - Episode 9 - Meeting Mama


(Story published with full review and approval of Le Ninja No Longer So Very Nouveau.)

Mamas love me. I say this without conceit. I know I rock because in some instances, it's been 10+ years since I dated a guy and I still talk to his mother. Last week my boyfriend-from-college's mama was passing through Dallas and wanted to meet for drinks. I couldn't make it but I talked to her on the phone for about twenty minutes. It's not her fault the man she raised turned out to be completely unsuitable for me. Anyway, you take my point. Michele + man's mama's = All. Good.

Enter Le Ninja's Mother. She refers to herself as (and this is a direct quote) "a take no prisoners old Southern Battle Axe." Le Gulp. Mama Axe hails from a tiny town in Georgia. She met her husband at 14, they married at 16 and have been together ever since. They are both educators in the University of Georgia system. There are five children, only one boy, the middle child - Le Ninja. (Finding out that he is the only boy in a family of girls suddenly solved sooo many puzzles.)

Anyway, now that you have some background I can share that the very first thing she said to me was, "I'm so glad you're not a floozy!" Ummmm. I can take that a number of ways. 1) Did she expect me to be a floozy for some reason? 2) Is Le Ninja known for sportin' floozies on his arm regularly? or 3) Not looking like a floozy is good thing, right?

Now the only prep that Le Ninja gave me was "she's very old school, kinda nouveau bougie, outspoken to a fault with a good heart" - ooookay. 

In the car on the way to the restaurant (she refused to sit up front), she rode silently in the back listening to us make small talk before saying (completely out of the blue), "So you're articulate, pretty, have some sense and your own money - why are you single and what do you see in my son?"

Le Ninja, "Mom, really?"

Mama Axe, "Boy hush!"

Me **crickets**

Le Ninja, "You do not have to answer that." He shoots the "don't start none, won't be none" look at his mama in the rearview. She hits him with wide-eyed "what I do?" look. 

Me, "I guess I've just been waiting for the right one."

Mama, "So you're picky?"

Me, "If you consider having high standards, expectations, a moral code and a good sense of self picky, than yes ma'am. I guess I am."

Mama, "And you think my boy is the right one?"

Ninja is audibly grinding his teeth and driving a good 25 miles over the speed limit. I patted his arm to let him know it was alright. And then I answered her question, "I guess time will tell. But ma'am, you have to know you raised an impressive individual."

Her mouth fell open and then she closed it and tried to hide a smile. Le Ninja was all teeth and twinkle. I was ready to go home. For the next thirty minutes it was a tap dance, she would fire off questions about my parents (What did your father do again?), my education (Why did you leave law school?), my career (Writers have no stability you know, are you talented?), my religion (You do attend church regularly?) and on it went. Le Ninja would try and shut her down, I would answer and follow up with as much sweetness and charm as I could muster. Finally, she slapped her hands down on the table and said, "I like this one." Then she went to tour the wine room and meet the chef. 

I turned my head to look at dude and he just inched the wineglass closer to me. "I know, I owe you. Big time. What's it gonna be? Back rub, me sitting through the Grey's Anatomy finale, new shoes, jewelry, spa vacation, what?" 

I just shook my head, "Am I sweating? I feel like I'm sweating."

"Not a drop. If it's any consolation, she really likes you."

I gulped the wine down to the last drop, "I'd hate to see how she treats someone she disapproves of... sheesh! Hurry and top off my wine so she doesn't know I swigged it down. So, four sisters and an overprotective mother, hmm?"

"Don't even start. I'm not spoiled."

He totally is. But at least he's not obnoxious about it. Besides, I have a few 'Daddy's girl' tendencies my darned self. "So, how often do you see them?"

"Mother's Day. Father's Day. Family vacation in August and Christmas. But you'll see, now that she's given you the interrogation, she'll be a totally different woman."

"Exactly how many women have met your mother?"

"Two in recent years."

Hmm. Tabled for later since Mama was heading back towards us. She was a different woman. She was pleasant, warm, open and charming. (What did the chef slip her back there in the kitchen?!) The only hiccup came when I was getting out of the car. Mama Axe came around and gave me a hug and announced, "My son needs a strong woman. Someone who won't let him get away with nonsense and isn't bowled over by his smile. You understand what I'm saying?" Over her shoulder, Ninja was giving me side-eye of life. 

Can you say awkward dot com? I wanted to laugh and tell her I was already knowin' but I nodded seriously, "Yes ma'am. I completely understand."

"I'm serious now, he's better when he has to work for things."

Ninja jumps in, "She's got that concept down, Mom. Believe me. To a refined art."

And I sent the side-eye his direction. He raised a brow, I raised one back. She looked from him to me and back again. "Well that's good then. That's real good. I expect to see you in August. Don't disappoint me."

Mama Axe is No. Joke. 

BougieLand, who has met the s/o's mama? How did it go? How important is it to you (both the ladies and the gents) for your s/o's family to like you? Do you care? For my married folks, how's your relationship with the in-laws? 

85 comments:

Sarah said...

Yep. I remember a comment Lenny made about a trip his Mama made to visit him (assuming I'm right about who he is) and I'm not surprised by this story. His Mama doesn't mess around 'cause she is older and knows that life is short. I think you can hold your own, Chele, although that family gathering in August will probably give you plenty of inspiration for a book or two. Thanks for the funny story to start off the week.

Joycelyn Curry said...

This just confirmed my guess about who it is! I haven't met a mother in years but the last time I did, I got an immediate hug as she already liked what she had been told.  Now I am hard on my brothers women but they are still in the skank liking faze and no skank is getting in my family if they want me to approve it.  

Lady Ngo said...

 I haven't met my current s/o's family but i have met the parents and relations of previous s/o's. I think, if nothing else, it makes life easier if the fam likes you or at least likes you enough to be cordial. I can't imagine how irritating and how much strain it could put on a relationship if the(wo)man is very close to his/her family and they don't like the bf/gf. One of my cousins is married to a lady that his siblings don't like and man life is kinda rough for her. And i remember seeing that when i was a kid. I had to pull his youngest sister (who's a couple of years younger than me) to the side and ask why the older siblings were always giving her such a hard time lol.

CaliSlim said...

*exhales slowly* Goodness, I'm anxious and exhausted just reading this. You definitely handled the whold evening with such grace. What a balancing act to give "Ninja Mama" the answers she wanted without compromising your relationship with her son.

Pass "Go" and collect your $200! I'm excited about this journey you're on. :) 

David Parrish, Jr.(Inkognegro) said...

That is a woman who has seen her share of shenanigans and is in NO way fooled by the shiny and accomplished exterior of her son.  

Men who don't rush women infront of their mommas tend to have mommas that arent in cahootz with their shenanigans.  

OneChele said...

Morning Ms. Sarah!

OneChele said...

My former sister-in-law: Piece. Of. Work. So yes, I can understand family drama.

OneChele said...

It felt like a two-hour tap dance!

OneChele said...

Ooo. Kay.

CaliGirlED said...

Good Morning Chele!

I knew you would handle yourself correctly with his mother, that's just who you are. But only time will tell if things will really jell between you and her. (I think they will). You were raised to respect your elders and always be polite (until given reason not to be). So naturally mothers are going to respect that. And because she seems to be a real woman who is in touch with her role in her son's life, she respects that you are a real woman who would be good for her son. And she will sit back and watch the story unfold, and not try to direct it.

 I have found that the only mothers I have problems with are the ones who are REALLY into their sons and the more their sons fall for me, the more the mothers don't like me. It's only happened twice in my life and I PRAY that I know how to spot that early now. There is nothing like being in love with a mama's boy who's mama is as in love with him, if not more, than you are. Eeewwww!

maureen palmer said...

 This comment from Sarah just confirmed who I thought Le Ninja is. Happy for you. You handled the whole situation well. I love your writing. That is all.

OneChele said...

Ewww and ick!

tishatweets said...

While it may sound all super romantical-us-against-the-world to loudly proclaim "I'ma be with you and I don't care what my mama 'nem think!" in reality it's just not very prudent. I can't think of one good reason not to desire the "approval" of the man or woman (or both, in a perfect world) who raised your S.O. Do they have to love you to pieces? No. Does it make things easier? IMO, yes, it does.

All that said to say, it will forever be important what those who raise any man that I'm significantly interested in think about me. I'm not going to be turning cartwheels to gain their approval, but yes, it matters. And, after the leave-of-all-good-senses that was my first marriage, the next one is sitting before the war council, so I can't even be mad at the dude who does the same. Lol! Oh, for what it is worth, I yet have a great relationship with my ex father in law (who raised my ex-husband), not so much with my ex-mother in law (who did not raise my ex-husband). Yeaaaaaah. I'll just leave that one there. Lol.

OneChele said...

Why thank you Ms. Palmer!

tishatweets said...

Chile, mama knows, mama knows! Er....no pun intended. Lol!

OneChele said...

You know I'm stealing romantical, right?

Michele said...

That sounded really stressful.  I wonder if my son's girlfriend felt stressed when she met me?  Hmmm. 

Jubilance said...

Wow what a story! You handled it very gracefully, some women would have cracked under the pressure.

I'm single now, but I've met a few mothers in my previous relationships. Mothers tend to love me :-)

It's definitely important that my parents, especially my mother, like & embrace my future mate. My mom hated my ex-fiance, and it was definitely a sign that he wasn't the man for me. 

OneChele said...

I'm sure she did! No one wants to get on Mama's bad side. Recipe for disaster.

Cherelle D. Mattox said...

I think you handled yourself perfectly. You handled it with grace and much respect. Lenny's mom reminds me of my father when he met my previous significant others. Let's just say that I'm glad my dad met all of them because he pointed out some things that only a man could see about another man.

tiffanyinhouston said...

I can appreciate mamas who love their children BUT know their children are not perfect angels. My ex-BF's mama was like that. She was cool as a white box fan, even though her son was a loon.

At least Ninja Not So New anymore, didn't do you like hubs did me. I met his ENTIRE immediate family on our first date at his SIL's baby shower. How he talked me into that..the world will never know...

The_A said...

Well played OneChele!

Hmmm. I've been to multiple family occasions & spent significant time with his people & his peoples but I have not met Mom. Mom doesn't regularly socialize with her own family. Dad passed years ago & Grandma just a few years ago. He was the favorite grandchild & speaks of Grandma like she was "Mom."

Mom lives nearby. Like right over there. He has regular contact with her although the relationship is strange.

It didn't seem so disturbing until I started typing this up...

I need a good look at this woman. Wouldn't you?

rozb said...

I have met mamas and was always treated quite well. My soon-to-be-hubby introduced me to family early on, and we have all just gelled together. His mother is easy-going, funny, and always tries to make sure I am comfortable at all family gatherings. One of the main reasons I am in love with him is because he loves his family so much and I can see why.

Have a blast, Chele, and enjoy him and the family. Great story!

Newbie11 said...

 I'm meeting Mama soon and I am nervous to say the least. I haven't met a Mum that has not liked me and it posed a problem once. One still wants her son to marry me (this man is engaged *side eye to her*). You go Chele!!! I am so excited about your journey and yes I have been praying about a possible wedding. Have a great day.

GammasWorld said...

 It's been some days since I had to meet a mama but I'm happy to report they all liked The Gamma ... well I wasn't a Gamma then but you get the point I'm making.  I've NEVER met a mama that was as tough as "Mama Axe".  I knew you would pass with flying colors but she made you werk LOL.   I will be taking notes from Mama Axe for my dinner with daughter and beau though.  

Nicole said...

wished I had learnt this one before my ex-fiance........ah well live and you learn!! 

blackprofessor said...

 Yeah!  You seem like the type of woman who would handle herself well and you did! I am sure that "Mama Axe" is more than pleased and is praying that her son doesn't mess things up with you not the other way around.

I have met a few mothers in my day and they all loved me! One of my exes mother still wants us to hook up (read marry) even though we broke up over a decade ago.  I appreciate mothers who can objectively see thier sons for who they are not who they want them to be and still properly evaluate  girlfriends.  

My problem is getting men past my brothers and father, they are no joke!

blackprofessor said...

Men who don't rush women infront of their mommas tend to have mommas that arent in cahootz with their shenanigans - PREACH!! 

dasmokingace said...

 That is equivalent to me meeting my wife father before he passed and also is usually how it goes down when meeting the parents. My sister is militant and old school hardcore. My mother is very nice and well going (don't really hurt people's feelings in public). Guess you got the seal of approval for marriage?

Just_A_Thought1218 said...

Guuurrl, you did well. I'd have had to excuse myself to the kitchen to let the waiter slip me a shot of Jose to keep the midwest snark at bay.

I've met the mama & family of every SO in my paltry dating history and mamas all like me. It's been hit or miss with sisters ( I usually only get static w/ them if he's the only boy or youngest). Usually though everyone likes me & they always ask about me (just had an ex's sister find me on fb to ask if there was any chance I would get back with her brother. He's living with his gf & talking about marriage & children). It's important that the family likes me because if I'm serious about this guy then I hope to one day be a part of that family. Why sign up for a life where everybody that you HAVE to be around hates you? I've seen how awful that can be with my brother & his soon to be ex wife & I would only wish that on my worst enemy.

Just_A_Thought1218 said...

So true. Mama's bad side is no man's land for a relationship. If he's a decent man he will respect his mama's opinion so if she doesn't approve then eventually he won't either.

OneChele said...

Don't get me started on the brothers and their choices in women. 

OneChele said...

Whole fam all at once?! DFKN did that to me as well. Ummph.

OneChele said...

Yes indeed. You need to scope the relationship between a man and his mother for sure. 

OneChele said...

A man who loves his family is a good one indeed! 

Just_A_Thought1218 said...

Sometimes it's just brothers reaping the benefit of the dating/cocoa double standards, and sometimes it's a reflection of the brother. Every apple on the tree ain't sweet.

Rob said...

When I met Mama Berry, I was already "living in sin" with her daughter. She kept the lips permanently in the pursed position until I produced a ring. Now she refers to me as "the sweetest boy" - what a difference some jewelry makes.

thinklikeRiley said...

Wayment - ya meetin' Moms and ish?
Dude don't let no grass grow under his feet, fo real doe.
I don't meet 'rents less I'm looking at Mrs. Riley.
Go head girl, go on get down.

OneChele said...

Serious side-eye to mama still trying to hook up her engaged son! 

OneChele said...

My father (may he rest in peace) never thought any one was good enough for me. And he wasn't shy about it. There was one guy he wouldn't even let come in the house. He met him at the door and left him on the porch until I came out. BougieDad was no joke.  left him on the porch until I came out. BougieDad was no joke. 

OneChele said...

Who keeps bringing up the "m"-word?!  

BlackButterfly said...

LOL!  Well done Chele. You did very well under the initial interrogation.

I would say that getting along with the family is very important to me.  I am a family person and I like to feel the harmony. 

My last SO has great parents that I love to death and will 'til this day treat me like one of their daughters.  His mother is so sweet and kind and definitely doesn't see any of her children through rose colored glasses.  Ha... If I were to be completely honest with myself I would say that they were absolutely one of the reasons that I stayed longer than I should have.

Pure Choco said...

My ex's mom could not stand me, a la Loretta Devine in Jumpin' the Broom? She thought I was bougie, stuck up and trying to lead her son astray.  We didn't work out in the end but it would have been tough!

LikeLena said...

The picture looks so much like my aunt with that permanent "I'm not sure what I think of you" expression that I had to look twice. My father absolutely hated my last s/o. I don't know what it was that set him off but he was not having it. I ended up taking a job in London and he went to Liberia so that was that.

Joycelyn Curry said...

 I totally agree on that one.  My brothers are no saints but those women would not meet the standard of approval for this fam.  Now they (brothers) have a long way to go in personal development to be able to pull a woman who would meet my or my mother's approval but still. 

Earthangel172 said...

I met my s/o mom during Christmas. Needless to say, she wanted to take me upstairs and "interrogate" me but his four sisters wouldn't allow it since it was CHRISTMAS. Apparently she wanted to know what "my intentions" were? Le Sigh.

Anyway, one sister was rude to me but everyone else was pleasant. I have to add that he is Nigerian-American and I am black. I know some of you are thinking, "what's your point?" but it's a big deal to them. 

JohnKinPDX said...

I distinctly remember my ex's mother telling me "You may be too good for my daughter" now that should've been a hint and a half right there.

MeetCharlieL said...

 Yes sir, you should have sprinted in the other direction right then and there!

Deb B said...

Get it, Chele!

aishao1122 said...

 >>>>BougieDad was no joke.  left him on the porch until I came out<<<<< must be a Caribbean thing, my Dad met my S/O at the door, let him into the sitting room and proceeded to clean his shotgun in front of him. this threw the S/O for a loop cause he'd been hanging out at the house for months as a friend once the relationship changed my Dad changedougieDad was no joke.  left him on the porch until I came out<<<<< must be a Caribbean thing, my Dad met my S/O at the door, let him into the sitting room and proceeded to clean his shotgun in front of him. this threw the S/O for a loop cause he'd been hanging out at the house for months as a friend once the relationship changed my Dad changed

aishao1122 said...

 I have always gotten along with the Mamas, even when the relationship breaks down they always tell me not to forget them, I still hang out with my first boyfriends sister to this day.  My current S/Os mom thinks I need to eat every time I go over to her house, I'm no skinny minnie but she insists on feeding me, a plate six people could eat from.  I've been here in this relationship for awhile and I know the whole fam, and get along with them, and they get along well with my family, he calls my Mom 'mum' which she loves, but she calls them "that boy" or that 'beanpole' , but she loves them. My dad? he thinks they are idiots but figures if I'm happy and it works then he'll be 'nice enough..........for now ( until things go wrong and then he's kicking butt) I go over to her house, I'm no skinny minnie but she insists on feeding me, a plate six people could eat from.  I've been here in this relationship for awhile and I know the whole fam, and get along with them, and they get along well with my family, he calls my Mom 'mum' which she loves, but she calls them "that boy" or that 'beanpole' , but she loves them. My dad? he thinks they are idiots but figures if I'm happy and it works then he'll be 'nice enough..........for now ( until things go wrong and then he's kicking butt)

CorettaJG said...

I've never met a Mama who didn't like me.  I'm likeable. :)  But, I've also never been through this "level" or interrogation.

This story is hi-lari-ous!

CorettaJG said...

It makes a difference.  Think if it was your daughter and all. :)

CorettaJG said...

My sisters are the tough ones.

CorettaJG said...

Just finished coordinating a wedding this weekend where the sister had to be brought around (almost got fired from her job as Maid of Honor).  Family can be tough and it definitely has a ripple effect even if they are the only one with the "problem."

blackprofessor said...

It isn't so much my dad but my brothers, whole other story! They have been to known to cut up many times before.  My brother gave one of my SOs a nickname that I can't repeat  right now and called him that repeatedly! My dad just chills back and takes it all in but he will say if he isn't feeling someone.  

blackprofessor said...

Whoa, that is not a good look at all. Very bad sign! 

CaliGirlED said...

Gotta put myself on blast! What the hell is "jell"??? As you can see I changed it. LOL

CaliGirlED said...

Diamonds are a girl's best friend? LOL

CaliGirlED said...

Damn John your story still springs forth surprises! Mama told you what??? I've heard of mothers bad mouthing their sons, but their daughters? WOW! SMDH

OneChele said...

She was deep with it, wasn't she?

OneChele said...

Just. Wait. Tomorrow we're getting an update from John. It's a mini-series waiting to happen!

Just_A_Thought1218 said...

Those of us who have scoped out the ID of Lenny are rooting for it. And no, we don't care if you like it or not. :-P *lets myself out of bougie land* 

CaliGirlED said...

One of my cousins took his daughter's boyfriend in the garage to have a man to man talk (with his gun laying right there on the table)!

Mykeia said...

"Let's just say that I'm glad my dad met all of them because he pointed out some things that only a man could see about another man."---> This right here!  This is the main reason why I envy women that grew up with a father.  (Other things too but, this is in the top three.) 

CaliGirlED said...

 Chele, it can't be any worse than what he's already shared!!!...But wait there was a pending lawsuit wasn't there? I think I need to put John on the prayer line at church! *bows head, closes eyes*

Cherelle D. Mattox said...

 Girl forget the prayer line. He just needs to be on the "sick and shut in list" on the Sunday bulletin. *At the altar right now praying that he doesnt become a bitter black man*

CaliGirlED said...

LMAO!!!...Not at John, but remembering the "sick and shut in list". Gotta love traditional Black churches. They're almost like soap operas, you can go to anyone of them and be caught up within a week! LOL

Mykeia said...

Great!  As a fellow PDXer I have been hoping that all is well with him. 

Mykeia said...

"For my married folks, how's your relationship with the in-laws?" 
When I met my hubby's mom she was great and still is to this day, I am so lucky.  During the dating phase of our relationship she did try to test me a little bit and I passed with flying colors.  However, during our major break-up her son produced a child and she told her son, "Iif I was her I would leave you alone!"...however I married him and she is happy that I did.  I am the only daughter that she has--she is a mother to five men. 
She has a relationship with all of her boys that most women strive to have, getting along with the mom in-law is cruical, I couldn't imagine it any other way, I often feel sorry for people that are not in good with the in-laws, I am watching a family member go through this right now and I do not envy his new wife at all. 

CaliGirlED said...

Coming from a family such as mine, getting along with your S.O.'s family is important to me. It just makes life better for all involved. I'm used to this kind of environment and I look for that when I meet guys. With my family once you're in, you're in, break-ups don't mean a thing! One of my cousins and I had a birthday party together, her brother's son's mother (and her husband), his daughter's mother (2nd child) AND his wife were all present, accounted for and having a great time. Another cousin's son's father and ex-husband were partying it up. And holidays are not too much different from that. My daughter's father can show up to any family function he so chooses. One of my aunts once had the nerve to tell me to fix him a plate. I told her (with all due respect), "I wish I would"! She just laughed BUT proceeded to do it herself!...A few months ago when my brother lay in the hospital on life support, his ex-girlfriend from high school, her mother, two sisters and niece came to the hospital.

So I can't even imagine being with someone and not get along with their family. Even with my last boyfriend (mama's boy) his mother was the ONLY one who didn't like me, and EVERYONE knew why. I'm still friends with his sisters to this day. They still refer to me as their Big Sis and I call them my Lil Sisters!

CaliGirlED said...

Me too!

CaliGirlED said...

I think they're both great people! (At least from posts and comments, but even with that a person's true self has to eventually come out.) Hopefully they'll be great together. :-)

Hannington said...

Hmm. This reminds me of the girl I dated once in 2009. I was ready to go home after it was over when she told me that in Trinidadian tradition, a man is supposed to meet the girl's mother on the first date. I reluctantly agreed, we met, and I thought that was the end of it. Until the girl called and actually asked me if I was in Special-ED (No joke). Apparently, she asked me that because her mom thought i was. What a time.

Hannington said...

 What about the one between a woman and her father?

Nicole said...

I am a Trini  gal and nuh.....uh...what that chile sold you was a bill of goods........that is NOT Trinidadian tradition at all..... that is dysfunctional tradition.... the only time my mother ever met the guy on the first date was my very first date as a young teen. A grown-ass Trini woman saying that????? GTFOH!! date as a young teen. A grown-ass Trini woman saying that????? GTFOH!!

JojoRaze said...

 I'll say it again, John.  You need to be up in the church tearing-it-up-in-the-Holy-Ghost for getting far away from that woman.  You have a hold-my-mule testimony! 

Diva (in Demand) said...

 The first time I met my husband's mother, he snuck off and left us alone.  Apparently that was his test.  The next time I came to town she kidnapped me and drug me all over the city showing me off. LOL  That was the first mother that I met who liked me upon first sight.

OneChele said...

Also good to know. Really, the more you know about family dynamics in general is a good thing. 

rikyrah said...

 I love Mama....she sounds so much like my mother and aunts...they would grill any guy who I would bring by.

I enjoyed tough mothers...there's a difference between tough and TOUGH, and the 'tough' ones, I still talk to today, even though the sons and I don't.

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C Nelson said...

I'm with Nicole on this: in fact, my father, who after twenty years in the US still hasn't shaken his Trini accent or ways, only ever meets his daughters' men when things get serious. My mother didn't meet my fiance at all till after he proposed, on the second long visit -- when I brought him to Thanksgiving dinner at my sister's place a month into the first visit, let alone the first date, she didn't bother to be there.

Hannington said...

Lmao. That's what she claimed. So she apparently lied to me and insulted me. Good thing I kicked her to the curb before long lol. 

Mony_Mony said...

Woooh, Chele!  You certainly went through the gauntlet but it looks like you won her over in the end.  Mamas always love me because I was "raised right", so I'm polite, respectful, etc. My most recent SO's mom "took to her bed" (her words) when she heard we were breaking up!  Though the most hilarious part was when both of his parents (separately) told me in their thick Jamaican accents not to limit myself to black men because there are "white men and Indian men and Chinese men".  It's very important to me for my SO's family to like me and vice versa because I am a firm believer that you don't just marry the person, you marry their family.  I'm very close to my family (even though most are in a different country) and would hope that he is as well.  Although it's not determinative, I might have to pause and reevaluate things if they all hated me (or vice versa).

Alvin Milton said...

congrats on meeting the mom thats a big step!

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