Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Five Topics Black Twitter need not debate anymore (please)


For those not dwelling in the Twittersphere, let me just share a few things. Twitter, Black Twitter in particular, is kind of like high school. You have the intellectuals, the militants, the hoodrats, the artists, the popular set, the invisibles and those that kind of fall somewhere in between. On a weekly basis, some of the exact same debates/beefs/comments sprout up and the various factions line up on one side or the other and fire at will. It's like Breakfast Club meets Groundhog Day

Sometimes I enter the fray and lob a grenade or two myself. Particularly when MSNBC aired the Black Agenda with no black host to be found. Don't get me started. Here are the list of topics that Black Twitter can retire or kill or bury alive - it's doesn't matter... just make them stop:

1. Obama's blackness - Far as I can tell, not a one of these people has been cuddled up next to Obeezy and therefore have not a clue what it's like to be the 44th President of the United States while being black. This does not stop numerous random pontifications about whether he's doing enough "for the people" or is just a big sell out. The debate over whether he'd be President if he were dark-skinned, had attended an HBCU or married a white woman? Beaten to death and useless.

Every speech, every plane ride, every congressional wiggle sets both liberals and conservatives alike into a frenzy. They have to let you know how much they love hate wish they were are just like mis/understand Obama with increasing volume and rhetoric. It's exhausting to watch. After a certain period of time, you start noticing people just tweeting "co-sign" or "fist bump" or my favorite "hmmm" - it's easier to just let it fade out... until the next time. Look, the man is black. He's the President. He's either doing what he can or he's not. It's as simple as that. 

2. Hair - Who cares if you rock a weave or sport a natural? Apparently, a good number of Black Twitteratti. Generally it will start with an incendiary comment from some man trying to instigate. Something like, "Black women who wear weaves are self-hating fakers!" Someone follows up with, "Natural hair people are nazis!" [These are actual tweets folks!] And we're off... You get the testimony of people who have gone natural and a sidebar conversation into hair care product starts. Then you get the weavologists jumping in with a sidebar into where the best virgin Indian hair is to be scored.

At some point a magazine or webzine focusing on "issues important to black women" enters the fray with a link to "weave horror stories" or "how perms are dangerous to your health" - I wish I was kidding. Before and after pictures spring up. Men align themselves: for, against, or we don't care as long as the cocoa gets stirred. This happens at least once a week. More often during award and reality show season. Nothing gets Black Twitter going like badweavitis (see The Braxtons for reference). Enough already. Please put India.Arie's I Am Not My Hair on repeat and exhale.

3. Tyler Perry - Let us pray... Father God, please let folks of African descent living on this side of the continent come together and recognize that Tyler Perry is neither the second coming of your son, King Jesus nor the earthbound incarnation of Lucifer, Prince of Darkness. In your name we pray, Amen. 

There are few shades of grey on the TP of it all. People either really, really love him or really, really hate him. And ne'er will the two sides agree. It is what it is - no more discussion needed. [We can also place Oprah, Beyonce, Diddy, Nicki Minaj, Steve Harvey and Tyrese in this same category]

4. BET - Pretty universally people agree that it sucks. And sucks a lot. But you have a group that rails over it's suckability and watch anyway, this infuriates the group that would refuse to turn to BET if they were the last station standing after Armageddon. It's just that serious. 
Tweegro A: "God! BET sucks"
Tweegro B: "And yet you still watch."
Tweegro A: "Don't judge me!"
Tweegro B: "Don't be a hypocrite."
And we're off.  [This is the same discussion for "Insert the name of any Reality Show with Wives in the Title here" as well. Yes, we know most of them are not actual wives, the title is for entertainment purposes only] Just once, I'd love to see some solution-based tweeting. If every time one of these arguments broke out, folks donated a dollar per tweet, we could buy BET from Viacom and use its power for good.

5. Dateability/Doability - The same unemployed troll who is living in his Grandma's basement with a blow up doll for a girlfriend starts these stupid trending topics at least once a week. Clever and classy topics like #Thisiswhyyouresingle #WifeyMaterial #OnlyCrunkwJunkintheTrunk #IwoulddoUif ... again - I wish I was joking. Then the women come back with #DudesNotDateableIf #Mymanbetta #DontDateHimGirl ... oh it goes on and on.

If not a trending topic, then someone writes an article about the best women to date, the men that women overlook, the best way for women to make themselves more doable/dateable and the battle begins. Women go in about scrubs trying to come across pimpalicious, men go in about single women who will never get a man. Is it impolite of me to say that in the time it took to sling those Twitter arrows forth and yon, folks could've been done and dated and moved on? 

Honorable Mention goes to the Black Representative Debate - (I'll admit a fondness for this one). This is the swirl around the Cornel Wests, Michael Eric Dysons, Reverend Als et al. The question is asked - are these the best "spokespeople" we've got? And then we discuss who should step up and replace the current talking heads. But since the mainstream media is more than happy to have Al spouting his rhetoric, we just wince our way through.

2nd Honorable Mention to the ever popular interactive game Where's Black Waldo. Yes, this is when Black Twitter convenes in front of our televisions for some sort of major event  (like for instance, the Oscars) and begins to search (usually fruitlessly) for Black People.
"Wait, there's one! Oh she looks good."
"Seriously, they couldn't find a single person of color for this?"
 "Spike Lee got robbed with Malcolm X" <~~~ comes up every year like clockwork
"2011 and this is the best we can do?"
There's my list. I know it's a fruitless wish that these topics go extinct. Some of these discussions are tales as old as time. But a girl can dream, can't she? Or is that up for debate too?

Wanna add to the list? Agree or disagree with mine? The floor is yours...

85 comments:

Dash Williams said...

Hair and appearance preferences are good for starting eye-rolling debates on Twitter. I don't even look a the TTs anymore. If a guy professes a preference for a shade that is not dark chocolate he will get jumped on.

Anonymous said...

Visit us now to obtain more information and facts regarding [url=http://tfls.jezykowe-szkoly.waw.pl] szkoly jezyka angielskiego[/url]

Marangs said...

ok, chele - i was feeling very superior, on some 'ok, i studiously stay away from these black twitter debates!' but i have to confess to retweeting Spike Lee's "Denzel wuz ROBBED!!!" tweet about X at the Oscars all those years ago... couldn't help myself, heh heh heh!

maureen palmer said...

Ditto.... I never understood some of those beefs. I'm like are these folks for really? SOme folk have a lot of time on their hands or I'm not using Twitter right.

Superwoman said...

i made a distinct point of unfollowing anyone who relentlessly tweeted relationship advice - it drove me crazy! and for some reason, they all seemed to be geared at black women! it was getting to the point where if i saw one more 'Ladieeees, to keep your man, you should...' tweet, i think i was about to throw my unsuspecting blackberry against the wall!

Jubilance said...

Cosign on #3, #4, and especially #5, that's the one I hate with a passion. Everybody on Twitter thinks they are a relationship expert (though they probably good be, if Tyrese gets to "write" a relationship book then everybody else can too).

I'd like to add as an honorable mention the constant need to have #twitterafterdark convos 24/7. There is a time & a place for adult conversations, and 8AM on a Wednesday is not the time or the place. And sadly the people that I would think would be mature enough to understand this concept, are the main one's starting the convos at inappropriate times.

Qalil said...

I totally relate! I kept thinking something must be completely wrong with what I'm doing!

rozb said...

I have a Twitter account and I don't think I have ever tweeted (?) anything. Not once. It was like pulling teeth to get me to get a FaceBook account all those years ago, and I make occasional comments. I don't understand the whole Twitter thing, and although my Twitter bird has an afro puff, it has not reared its pretty little head yet.

I am happy coming to intelligent blog sites (hey y'all!) and having my say, but I cannot understand why i would want to "follow" somebody as they "tweet" about the sandwich they just ate, or why society is keeping them down. Meh - never understood it. I guess this is my "stuck in time" moment for me. My musical tastes, communication preferences, and maybe even style of dress won't be moving too fast into the future. Kinda like old dude in "I'm Gonna Get You Sucka" where he got out of jail and put his aquarium shoes on. Even when he modernized his look after getting laughed at, he was still old school.

Qalil said...

What is so astounding is the intense emotion behind some of the debates. They end up being completely devoid of any kind of intelligence.

Although I hope they keep posting all the dumb tweets!

CaliGirlED said...

Thanks Chele! Now I can stop worrying about how disconnected I am and stop trying to remind myself to be more active on Twitter. I'm cool.

blackprofessor said...

I am not on Twitter and now I see why, LOL!! I have heard that it is a hot ghetto mess and this confirms it. Like Caligirl, I am cool!

Jazzy Jazz said...

Oh and can we please stop with the teams: #TeamLightSkin #TeamDarkSkin #TeamNatural etc. Who cares? Why am I "less" black because I prefer to wear a relaxer in my hair versus being natural. Le sigh. Oh and yesterdays trending topic was #YallNeedTobreakup

Jeannette said...

Follow me at: msjeannettea . Ok enough self promotion. I love Twitter, God knows I do, it gets me through bouts of boredom at the airport, the job doctor's appointments, etc. However, in my eyes Twitter is just the 2nd coming of the AOL Chat room from back in the 90's. But I still stay tuned in!

Penny said...

I'm with you. Now I can stop wondering what I might be missing.

FreeBlackMan said...

I only glance in from time to time and last time I did - yes, they were discussing the new Tyler Perry movie. It got ugly.

The Uppity Negro said...

well thought out! I have to agree with the comments made when watching the Oscars. It's either that or "The Color Purple."

I have to say, however, I'm more or less over relationship advice blogs and tweets. I think they fail to deal with anyone as an individual. The very nature of them require you to speak in general terms, which I think is problematic in this particular case. But without fail, if you do a relationship topic, you'll get the most comments and views over the flashpoint topics of race, religion and politics.

Meh. It is what it is.

GrownAzzMan said...

I think your twitter life is only as interesting as the people you let in it. There are some very interesting people there and twitter gives you mostly unfiltered access to what they are thinking and doing. Melissa Harris Perry, Donna Brazille, Anderson Cooper and Jon Stewart to name a few. You can get breaking news faster then you will find it anywhere else from CNN and theGrio. I typically avoid all of the examples Chele cited unless I just feel like a few empty mental calories, sort like eating that doughnut you know you don't need. twitter, like life is all what you make it.

PS: If it wasn't for twitter I would have never met @TheOneChele or learned about this blog, so it has that going for it, which is nice...

William Martin said...

I rarely tweet. I usually jump on to see what @TheOneChele and all the cool kids are doing. If you guys aren't on, you have to join just for the the times when Chele goes IN on something and does top of mind commentary. It's the best show not on TV.

Mr. Skyywalker said...

Cracking up at Where's Black Waldo!

Rob said...

I may have sent a total of 50 tweets, 20 of those a link to something here on BnB. But it's fascinating to people watch.

thinklikeRiley said...

It IS like high school - fewer classes, more recess and a fight breaking out by bike racks ev'day.

baileyqc said...

Total reason I signed up

maureen palmer said...

"PS: If it wasn't for twitter I would have never met @TheOneChele or learned about this blog, so it has that going for it, which is nice..." Me too.

MariSol said...

I'm just starting to get into Twitter. Like in life, it depends on your clique. I followed this one girl thinking she was cool and some of the most ratchet nonsense spewed forth. When I unfollowed she went ballistic - is it that crucial?!

MonP said...

I would say you don't have to tweet anything to get a lot out of Twitter. Think of it at a personalized newsfeed. I mostly use Twitter for work related purposes and personal branding. I've even been offered a couple jobs from my Twitter use. But I do have a couple lists where I follow my favorite bloggers/commenters and a private list for people that say ridiculous things that make me laugh. Twitter can be a wonderful thing if used right.

Jasmin said...

I don't Twitter, and this post kind of makes me glad I don't. I think Twitter is like Facebook in that it can incite you to cut off folks you thought you knew with a quickness once their tacky side shows up.

I'll see your aforementioned debated and raise you the passive-aggressive people on any form of social networking (but mostly Facebook). There are people I used to like who I now cannot stand because every status update is about how "some people should know better than to say they'll call and not do it blah blah blah".

LikeLena said...

The only thing I can think to say is "Cosign" :-)

halimah / sgb vintage. said...

love, love, love this!

co-signed! thank you and good night.

Deb B said...

I love Twitter. It's the quickest way to get news, sports, what's on and popping in music and I found this blog there. Love. IT.

That being said, I completely agree with this post.

md_KG said...

Ha!! Black Twirra never fails to disappoint. You are so right about these topics especially #2, 3 & 5!!! People really need to stop taking the stanning for TP or Oprah or Beyoncé to nauseating and primitive levels. We can disagree on their abilities and what not but please let's do it in a civilized manner!

Leo the Yardie Chick said...

Which is why I only use Twitter for business.

md_KG said...

ITA. It's also a way to keep in touch with people more instantaneously (especially old classmates and friends in different countries). It also helps me avoid having to do the heavy lifting FB sometimes requires (got off FB 4 years ago).

"PS: If it wasn't for twitter I would have never met @TheOneChele or learned about this blog, so it has that going for it, which is nice... My experience was actually the other way round and I wanted to be able to interact with @TheOneChele outside the blog and it was one of the reasons I got an account. Chele see how famous ya are!!

Trey Charles said...

I've only been tweeting for a month or so. You needed to post this earlier. I made the mistake of crossing a Minaj fan. If girlie knew where I lived, I'd be dead today. I didn't think it was serious. Was Nicki paying her rent? Stirring her cocoa? What?

I did see a minor hair scrimmage break out the other day. Fascinating. It's hot in the streetz to tell a chick what to do with her hair?

Trey Charles said...

"On and popping" tho?

Trey Charles said...

I missed that one!

Trey Charles said...

Kind of fun though.

JaymeC said...

One of my guilty pleasures lately is to watch TV with a Twitter crew. You just find the hashtags for the show and follow along. It's like running commentary while you watch. Tuesday Night #Glee and #TheGoodWife - good times.

OneChele said...

IT's warfare out there.

michaeldavis said...

everyday B

OneChele said...

Well... we all know it Grand Theft Oscar.

OneChele said...

Ma'am - you are doing Twitter the right way.

michaeldavis said...

first off, my like friend Jeannette did below...follow me at @dallasprogress. I'm only about 20% bougie though, as I prefer string beans to haricot verts (sp?) and my red Kool-Aid game is sick.

I have made some great business contacts from Twitter and some really good friends.

That being said, I can get random and I tweet about that awesome sandwich I just ate, the club, and those sugar cookies from Potbelly (they go HARD IN THE PAINT).

Bethany Showell said...

I love Twitter for all those reasons you mentioned. It's great to have a seat, get some popcorn, and watch what happens. Also Twitter is great for breaking news as some others have said - I know stuff before anyone else. Pet peeve is random hashtagging in the middle of sentences. HATE ones like, "I'm about to go wash my #naturalhair."

OneChele said...

You know how I feel about the whole "find a man, get a man, keep a man" dialogue - overdone!

Bethany Showell said...

Dude...those sugar cookies. BEST.EVER.

OneChele said...

Twitter is #TeamInappropriate - I had to unfollow someone yesterday who felt that 11:00am was a great time to offer sex tips to the ladies... with visual aids. No. Sir.

OneChele said...

Well said!!

OneChele said...

How about #TeamIntelligent for a change? We should get that going ;-)

OneChele said...

Today it's the renewed Tyler vs. Spike beef. Le Sigh.

OneChele said...

Good point!

OneChele said...

Aw, ya'll are too kind.

OneChele said...

Sometimes twice a day

CaliSlim said...

Yeah, I'm new to Twitter, not really feeling it tho.

OneChele said...

Oh I've been cussed out more on Twitter than ever in real life. The Block and the Mute buttons are my friends.

ConvertingMe said...

As someone who's personal obsession with Twitter and all things social media has turned into work, I can get mad/angry/uber stressed at the #insertworsthashtag debates because it keeps clients from taking Twitter as a serious communication tool for whatever I'm pitching.

As I tell people in my social media training classes, one of my favorite Twitter things is twatching = twitter + television watching which turns a solitary activity into a shared experience or in some cases a universal phenomena.

I have and manage multiple twitter accounts. One professional and the others for various interests, and I can only hope others follow this example.

Sidenote - If I never see Al Sharpton on tv again it will be too soon.

Jazzy Jazz said...

right how about #teamreaders . Im trying to wean myself off of twitter. Maybe down to only a few tweets a day

Jazzy Jazz said...

*coughs * have you checked out dumbesttweets.tumblr.com ? Luvvie has a knack for finding the most ridiculous/ badly spelled tweets

rozb said...

Went on Twitter and sent my first tweet. Don't know who it goes to, but i sent it. Oh yeah my Twitter name is @rozzaboy.

rozb said...

What is the purpose of the hashtag? I only became aware of it because folks use it in emails and everyday correspondence.

OneChele said...

The hash tag lets you track a topic or for emphasis. Everyone who wants to talk about #BarackObama will use the tag somewhere in the tweet. I use hashtags for snark purposes also #sarcasmrocks ;-)

OneChele said...

You need to tweet in. I can WAIT for the next episode of the Good Wife.

OneChele said...

Like I've said before, keyboards make people brave.

OneChele said...

You are the bougiest "repping for non-bouge" person I know. Bless your heart.

OneChele said...

It takes a minute to find your niche.

GrownAzzMan said...

Sporting events can be fun like that too. I think I follow about half of the NBA and ESPN. Their comments are better then what you hear on teevee.

JohnKinPDX said...

I'm @JohnKinPDX since we're plugging Twitter.
Can we stop and applaud the following phrases: It's like Breakfast Club meets Groundhog Day. All. Day. Long.
And The same unemployed troll who is living in his Grandma's basement with a blow up doll for a girlfriend Classic!

ASmith said...

About 43% of why I watch trashy reality tv is because of twitter. I live for the comments.

The rest of that, though, can run along. I'm generally over most of it and what's crazy is that in these same conversations the SAME stuff gets said and if you pay attention, you'll find that it's like a large circle and everyone passes their comment cards to the right. The dude on side A of an issue is on side B of the SAME issue 2 weeks later. Ish is crazy. I've literally seen people tweet almost VERBATIM stuff said by other tweeters the last time we had this talk, especially around issues of what black women need to be doing.

Pretty much all things that have anything remotely to do with "being black in America" needs to go away and never come back to Twitlandia. Please and thanks, America.

A new one I see popping up that I want deaded emejutley is claiming who invented what. Ain't no way on God's green Earth we can know that. Folks been on Twitter for all of 3 minutes and wanna claim they started something. Go have your seat in the corner.

This is a side note, but since we talmbout twitter and people taking it too seriously, I was recently -- and no I'm not joking -- banned from a friend's house bc his ex (yes, his ex, but they still under the same roof) didn't like something I tweeted. ::sigh::

OneChele said...

What?! Locked out because of a TWEET?! Was it about her?

OneChele said...

*curtsies*

ASmith said...

Yes it was. I actually didn't know she was following me -- he thinks she isn't, that she's actually twitter-stalking me... but what she was doing was foul and it was effecting me so I called her on it! Well, not her directly but I probably would've if I'd even known she was on twitter in the first place!

So we'll file this under "when people trip too hard over Twitter" and keep it pushing, I suppose.

Jamie Wesley said...

I love Twitter.

1. I'm a (wannabe) writer and it's the best way to keep up with publishing trends. My writer friends not on Twitter always ask me how I know what's going on. I keep telling them it's all Twitter.

2. It really is the best way to keep up with the latest news. On Twitter, you don't need the whole story, just the headline. Quick and easy. If I see a random celebrity trending, I know he/she did something newsworthy/stupid and I'm on it to find out what.

3. Watching TV and reading Twitter at the same time is comedy gold. The Grammys were the best this year. There was so much to talk about/mock - the fashion, performances, and the award winners and losers.

4. People really do say the darnedest things - sometimes funny, sometimes unintentionally funny. I crack up constantly reading the random things that pop into people's heads.

Penny said...

Now that is a reason for me to get a Twitter account. I can't wait to see what Alica's next move to Sir Cheat A Lot is going to be.

Queen of Me said...

I'm extremely neglectful of my Twitter account. I think I use it to sign in here and see what my nephew is up to. But I will say - the tipsy tweeting on the weekends in hilarity.

Earthangel172 said...

Facebook has truly highlighted why I didn't like certain people in high school. The HIDE button is the best thing ever.

rozb said...

I am no longer a Twitter virgin. I think I'm going to cry! >sniff<

Bethany Showell said...

The hashtags sure do help when people are live tweeting shows, though. That's the best part.

J. Jackson said...

I've been neglecting my twitter as of late. But I must admit that I like the trending topics. Also, like another poster said, I LOVE the comments about these reality shows. That is my entertainment. I just think people in general really get bent out of shape over Twitter and Facebook. To me it's not that serious. Trust, when I log off, I'm not going to be analyzing my "twitter/facebook beef".

Oh since people are putting their twitter handle, here's mine ---> MzJazzyGirl

BrendaKay said...

I've never caught the Twitter bug. I prefer FaceBook where I can launch into one of my epic political rants unencumbered by a restriction on the length of words I can use. :-)

Leon X said...

Here is a article that sums up Twitter for new people. The Four Stages of a Typical Twitter User.

http://tek.io/ga8JjC

michaeldavis said...

I bring everybody together...like Kissinger (kinda)

michaeldavis said...

also, if you click on the hastagged word you will get a stream of all the tweets with said tag included

Leon X said...

1. Our president's job is tougher especially since people are out of work. He always comes through in the clutch saying the right thing at the right time. Obama '12.

2. I subscribe to the saying if the hair is on your head, then it's good hair.

3. Tyler Perry's a hack. Hollywood is full of successful hacks. That's all I have to say about that.

4. There's a great article at What About Our Daughters about boycotting BET at this link. http://bit.ly/gf0LfG Folks complain about BET yet still watch. That's the way of the world. © Earth Wind and Fire

5. Really??? Really?!?!???

If Twitter is like high school then I'm OK. Most of the black kids in high school thought I wasn't black enough anyway. #YeezyTaughtMeToShrug

OneChele said...

I've been #TeamWill from jump so I'm holding my breath.

GammasWorld said...

I'm Gamma everywhere except FB ... count me as a follower :)

GammasWorld said...

I love Twitter, lawd knows I do but Black Twitter aggravates the heck out of me sometimes. I have two accounts ... one for Gamma where me and all my randomness and aggravations are released and one for work with my gubment name and all. I've "met" some interesting people on both feeds (i.e. @TheOneChele). I enjoy watching TV via Twitter -- A LOT so it suits my purpose. Like someone said, it's all about who you let in your Twitterverse. I'm with you completely on 2, 3, 4 and thankfully I'm not following too many folk that go in on 1 and 5. This post needs to be tweeted weekly.

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails