Continuing Ask a Bougie Chick week... today we have a 29 year old African-American gent from San Diego who calls himself Mr. Jack. I'm going to have you read this without pre-commentary. Let's take a look, shall we?
Chele,What had happened was... no really. Let me be straight. I want that dime, 5-star, throw away the mold woman. Looks great, has her own career and ambitions, a little freaky-deaky, sweet natured, old fashioned values, spiritual, lets a man be a man, takes care of the home. I know it's everything and I've heard from so many people "You want Superwoman, you're not going to find all of that in one woman. You're going to have to compromise" - I don't think so.
Not to pat myself on the back but I'm a good man. A catch if you will. Educated, employed, tall, straight, attractive and monogamous once I'm in a relationship. Good family background and values. Ready to settle down. Here's what's up.
I was with this woman for almost two years. She was a good candidate for Mrs. Jack. Seriously gorgeous, professional, classy, paid, smart, everyone loved her, lady in the living room, beast in the bedroom and really loved me. Two things though, she couldn't (or wouldn't) cook and she did not know how to play her position. She challenged me on everything. In the beginning, it was cool like we could debate things from different perspectives but I started to wonder if she was just unable to let me say something and have it stand on its own.
She felt like she had to have an opinion on everything. Even when she agreed with me, it's a whole lot of back and forth. Sometimes, I'd just prefer a woman to just be quiet about it and keep it moving. When I called her on it she said maybe I just needed a different kind of woman that I could "mold and teach" to do and say what I wanted when I wanted.
It was that kind of attitude right there that left me wondering "Is there someone better out there?"
When I broke up with her, everybody (fam, boys, female friends, church folks) told me I was making the biggest mistake of my life. Said she was the best thing that ever happened to me and kept me honest. I disagree. I don't think I'm asking for too much based on what I'm bringing to the table. I'm sure you and BougieLand have some thoughts.~Mr. Jack
What's the question? Can you have it all? Should you not have broken up with her? Let me see, you had a woman that was "Seriously gorgeous, professional, classy, paid, smart, everyone loved her, lady in the living room, beast in the bedroom and really loved me"... I don't know. Seems like you were at 98% and you tossed it away to search for the other 2. I need more back story on the debating and back-n-forthin'. I mean if she was just a shrew, okay. No one wants that. But if she was just chiming in with her thoughts???
Here's the problem. You want a professional woman that handles her own, has men drooling after her etcetera etcetera but you don't want her to disagree or challenge you? You do understand that to be a rock star at work she is required to have opinions and articulate them. You want her to turn that off when she gets home? Okay then.
What do I know? Maybe the next woman will be 105%, You certainly shouldn't be with a woman if you think you're settling. Trust me if she's all you say she is, there's a man out there who is dying to have her. I think you're missing the forest for the trees but that's just my opinion... and the consensus of everybody you know. [side-eye]
It's interesting because I was discussing this with a group of men and women. Someone said women settle (for less than that 100% guy), men don't. That triggered a heated discussion. BougieLand, what do you think? Are people still looking for perfection? Do women give up on finding it before men do? Anything to say to Mr. Jack? Fellas, please weigh in today. I'm dying to know if Jack is alone in his principles. Thoughts, comments, insights?