Wednesday, March 30, 2011

WBFDD (What Bougie Folks Don't Do) - Fight over men

So I was sitting in the Starbuck's (my home away from home) with Le Ninja Nouveau. Both of us were supposed to be working, instead we sat looking out at the rain chatting about random thoughts as they crossed our minds. Into this calm entered an African-American couple bickering. I'd put them in their mid-twenties. Dude and Dudette were beefing (loudly) about plans for their upcoming wedding. 

They paused long enough to order coffee and pastries. After they plunked down next to us, the argument started again. His phone rang, he looked at it, glanced at her and then answered. This set Dudette off, "It betta not be who I think it is." She reached over, took his phone, looked at the display and put the phone to her ear, "B*tch, I told you if you kept coming around my man I would kick your ass!"

White people looked dismayed at this overt display of blackity-blackness and commenced fleeing the premises. Ninja and I had the sour "why it gotta be this" faces on. Dude was straight wrestling Dudette to get his phone back. Dudette was telling the girl to come up to the Starbuck's so they could settle this right now. 

Starbuck's worker came over and asked Le Ninja Nouveau if he knew Dude and/or Dudette. Ninja gave the worker a laser beam side-eye and said, "Contrary to what you've heard, we don't all know each other." I snickered. Worker fled. Dudette has hung up the phone and commenced talking loud to anyone who would listen. She turned to me, "I'm gonna kick that b*tch's ass when she gets here."

Le Sigh. Me, "Why?"

Her, "She's after my man. She doesn't respect our engagement."

Me, "Then your problem is with him. He's the one you're in a relationship with, not her."

Dude piped up, "Hey!"

Le Ninja chimed in, "It's your job to shut down all this drama."

Me, "Get some pride about yourselves. Y'all squabbling all up in the Starbuck's, scaring white people. You need to go home and have a conversation. It's So Not Bougie to be screaming about ass kicking in the street."

Her, "I'm not bougie." [<~~~obviously]

Me, "You're young - you still have time to ascend."

They stood looking at us like we were from a different planet. They went, picked up their order and ran out... like we were the ones disturbing the peace. Classic.

I don't know if she understood what I was saying. It mattered not. Here's my point - no fighting over men. (Or women for that matter) On this, the bougie rule is clear - your issue is with your significant other, not the extra. Your s.o. needs to understand the significance of their actions. Continuously answering phone calls from people that you have stated you have a problem with is a violation. Violations are punishable up to and including loss of relationship privileges. 

I remember one s.o. tried to test me. We were hanging out with some friends and he invited a chick that he knew I could not stand. Maybe because of this direct quote she dropped on me, "You just need to step outta the way so I can get at him. I don't know what he sees in you anyway." For real though? For some reason, he decided it would be fun to invite her out and see what happened. What happened was everyone could tell I was ticked she was there and made sure she felt so uncomfortable that she left (fled) early. Then he received a talking to that he shan't soon forget and slept alone that night (and many others). Couldn't reach me on the phone for a few weeks after that. It wasn't tried again. 

BougieLand, who's with me on this? Do we fight over s.o.'s? Seriously? Kicking azz in the coffee shop is what's hot in the streetz? Ladies and gents, what are the thoughts on scuffling for love? 

111 comments:

GammasWorld said...

I have nothing to say (except I'm sitting here late for work like I'm collecting lottery winnings later today reading BnB but I digress). I totally and completely concur. I shall fight no woman over a man. P.E.R.I.O.D.

Crystal said...

My mother and grandmother always told me "Don't let no man make a crazy out of you". I have not and I will not ever fight over an s.o. You are so right, the problem she had was with her fiance. He did not respect her or their relationship enough to keep all outside parties, well out!! Then again, some people just love drama so to them I say another thing my mother and grandmother always said "Well God bless your heart".

Devessel said...

We over here in the District concur. Though it is a disturbing practice among the 'not yet ascended' as you so gloriously put it, it is not common practice among us to allow such shenanigans to continue unaddressed. The consequences for those actions is successively: warning, suspension without pay, and termination.

Crobin said...

There was a time when those aspiring to become bougie "acted" the part in the nice coffee shop. Some youth today actually have more cash and less class. You have touched on it all!

Bethany Showell said...

Just UGH! I have not and will never fight for or over a man. Puh-leeze. I'on have time for all that.

Natasha Hunter said...

This has so much less to do with bougieness than just plain not knowing your worth. Hell, Shaquanda that works @ Braid Palace home of the $99 micros, wouldn't be caught dead fighting over a man. "There are too many ballers Boo-boo, too many!"

I never understood running around fighting over a man anyway, 'specially if he's repeatedly in some shiggety... lol... makes women look old before their time... Then what?

tiffanyinhouston said...

And they have the nerve to play like they are getting married???? WTFH?? There is a part in the marriage vows that say "forsaking all others". If he doesn't get that NOW, he damn sure isn't gonna get it later.

Fighting some chick in the Starbucks?? Seriously?? #notgonnahappen

Mony_Mony said...

Even when I was a teenager I wouldn't consider fighting with another female over a guy. No matter how trifling someone else may be (and this also applies to friends, family, etc), it is up to the people in the relationship to agree upon the boundaries of their relationship and require outsiders to respect those boundaries. A lot of relationship problems (inlaws, disrespectful friends, etc) could be reduced if people did that.

Just_A_Thought1218 said...

"You're young, you still have time to ascend."

iHollered! In an open wall touchdown-zone cubicle in my office no less!

I don't do fighting over a man. Not physical altercations, not verbal confrontations, none of that. Even if I want to stomp a mud hole in a chick for disrespecting me, I know better than to do any of that. Because I know that she is only doing what that man - who will soon be my former SO - has allowed her to do. If he's feeling like disrespect is the order of the day, then clearly I don't need to be that invested in him.

CaliGirlED said...

"Hell, Shaquanda that works @ Braid Palace home of the $99 micros, wouldn't be caught dead fighting over a man. "There are too many ballers Boo-boo, too many!"...*lying in the casket with my arms folded across me*

Just_A_Thought1218 said...

Girl, if seeing the racthetry of sham marriages growing up didn't kill my desire to get married, then the racthetry I saw in/post college almost certainly did. Too many people just up and decided it was time, the other person had put in work, etc. etc. and that was enough for marriage. Straight foolishness, I tell you.

CaliGirlED said...

Back in high school one of my good friends had this boyfriend, we'll call him Darryl. (Because that's what his mama named him.) One day my friend and this other chick (who later became a friend, go figure) began having words over Darryl. Well one word led to another and they began to get into fight mode. The whole time I'm saying, "Come on girl, it's not that serious". I happened to look over at Darryl and he, and a few of his buddies, were chillin at his car taking it all in. I immediately became pissed off, to say the least! I grabbed my friend, with a FIRM grip, looked her in her eyes and said, "You will not fight this b*tch over him and he's sittin over there enjoyin the show! Not while I'm around! LET'S GO!!!"

I have never and will never fight over a man. But there is a matter of disrespect that can cause a can of Whoop Ass to be opened up! ESPECIALLY if I have found you in my home. Can we say double homicide and I am, "Not guilty your honor by reason of temporary insanity".

EvolvingElle said...

Maybe because I'm bougie (and like my privacy), I would never act a fool in Starbucks (or any other public place for that matter). Homegirl's beef is definitely with the fiancee. It kills me when women (and men) want to get into it with the other person instead of the person they're dating. The other person has no ties to you, has nothing to offer you, and owes you nothing. If your S.O. can't respect your feelings when it comes to an ex or an "old friend", it's time to kick rocks. Chele, you stated everything perfectly. Homegirl will get what you told her in 2013.

maureen palmer said...

"You're young, you still have time to ascend"<----- This. Right. Here.

They are all types of wrong; nothing sexy and grown about fighting in public. keep that for the privacy of you house and, she is picking the wrong battle. It's dude she needs to have a talk with not the other chic.

maureen palmer said...

Why "Shaquanda that works @ Braid Palce Home of the $ 99 micros" though? *Dead*

Lady4Real said...

I think I came out the womb chasing boys, I chased them but I be damned if I was going to fight for them. I use to tell my friends all the time that if I ever caught my man cheating I'm whipping @$$ alright but it won't be the chick (unless she knew about me, then she might get a hit or two) I'm goin' all in on my ninja. He is the one that knew about me, he is the one that agreed to be in a monogamous relationship with me and he is the one that chose to bring another person into our relationship so HE is the one that needs the beat down. I could just never see me fighting over a man, now if a chich rolled up extra disrespectful, and my man told her to fall back but she just had to go all "Thin Line Between Love and Hate" "The Hand That Rocks the Cradle" or "Fatal Attraction" I'm going to have to get my Beyonce in "Obessed" on her.

J. Jackson said...

OMG where do I begin? OK, first I don't fight over me. Not now, not ever. It's not worth it. If you have a problem, it's with your man, not with the other woman.

Second, I hate people who think that getting married will change a person - it's not. For the simple fact that he's cheating on you, and you're ENGAGED, just means that he's going to cheat on you while you're married. A wedding certificate doesn't change that.

Third, Why did they have to sit next to you? What did they think you would understand their plight because you're black? Oh, and shout out to Ninja for telling the worker, "Contrary to your beliefs, we all don't know each other." Something I would say.

Fourth, My best friend s.o. cheated on her. And she straight stalked the girl. All the while she didn't do anything to her s.o. Sure she said that they were on time-out status (all of 12 hours) because the next day he's over at the apartment and they're watching movies. *big side-eye* I finally had to tell her she looked like a damn fool for stalking the chick, but not doing anything to her s.o. She was upset with that, and we didn't talk for a week, but hell I had to tell her the truth. They're still together (my best friend and her s.o.) and recently added an addition to their family, but like I told her, "You're a good one because once a cheater, always a cheater. I couldn't have taken him back." (Can you tell cheating is a non-negotiable for me?)

Finally, when you were dropping knowledge on Dudette. She wasn't listening. I can almost bet money she's going to still marry dude, and still beef over his "other woman". She needs to realize this merry-go-round can easily stop once she realizes she has the control to get off.

J. Jackson said...

This --> I never understood running around fighting over a man anyway, 'specially if he's repeatedly in some shiggety... lol... makes women look old before their time... Then what?

I've seen some girls I went to high school with that have this look. Lookin' all of 35, when you're only 26/27. Not cute!

Lady4Real said...

I completely and totally agree. People can only disrespect a relationship if someone in the relationship allows it to happen. When dealing with my friends or any one outside of my relationship I think monitor my actions by asking, "How would I feel if D was doing this? or How would I feel if D allowed this to go down?" If I wouldn't like my husband to do it , then I damn sure am not doing it. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." I think she should leave or if she likes drama she can play, Two Can Play That Game, and see how much he likes it.

Lady4Real said...

Are we related? That sounds like something I would do, Nope, not on my watch, there will be no catfights over a dog up in here, lets go!

Mykeia said...

The title says it all. So true.
"Starbuck's worker came over and asked Le Ninja Nouveau if he knew Dude and/or Dudette. Ninja gave the worker a laser beam side-eye and said, "Contrary to what you've heard, we don't all know each other.""==> Me dead!
I hate to be around LOUD people or arguing couples, ugh, it ruins my dining/shopping/hair done/pedicure experience.
OneChele you and the new guy were correct in speaking up, young folks need to hear real talk sometimes. This story has drama and insecurities all over it and you pointed that out, thank you.

Lady4Real said...

If you can't respect me, then you don't respect us and you don't need to be around me or us. A relationship is a partnership and the partners should have an agreement about what they will and will not put up with inside and outside of the relationship. My husband is a drama-free kind of a man, when the drama comes, he shuts it down and so do I, because that's our agreement.

J. Jackson said...

This --> I have never and will never fight over a man. But there is a matter of disrespect that can cause a can of Whoop Ass to be opened up! ESPECIALLY if I have found you in my home. Can we say double homicide and I am, "Not guilty your honor by reason of temporary insanity".

BougieLand is KILLING me today! All I have to say is that is why I study, *ahem* watch Snapped... to see what NOT to do. I already know if a woman disrespects my home, I'm calling my family in Cali like, "Ugh someone needs to fly to Charlotte for bail money." LOL

rozb said...

First, tripping over the worker that had the nerve to ask if you knew these two! Love the response you gave...

Next - I will put it on the man to do what he is supposed to do. If he cannot shut Quanquisha down (first I wouldn't date a guy who dates Quanquishas, but that is another topic) I hold him utterly responsible. Dude KNEW this would set her off, and he seems to relish this. It is as if he is trying to get her to believe that he is this wanted man, and she must be lucky to have him. His ego needs that boost and his self-esteem is addicted to drama!

If you don't believe you are worth more than just the sum of your parts, then you are open to this type of manipulation. Plus, young folks these days need some lessons in Bouge, decorum, and overall, how to avoid acting ratched in public!

GrownAzzMan said...

The post speaks for itself. No fighting over him/her. In fact, short of life-threatening situations GAM is not fighting over anything. Period.

But this right here -----> "Contrary to what you've heard, we don't all know each other." Can we get that on a t-shirt?

Just_A_Thought1218 said...

We are right >here< on this one. A woman would have to be extra extra disrespectful for me to go at her. I would be mad, and would want to slap the taste out of her mouth, but you just.cannot.do.that. Why give her the satisfaction of not only disrupting your relationship, but also driving you to act a fool? Nah, I'm reserving this left jab and right cross for the dude. Extra crazy chicks are liable to get tazed if they get wanna be froggish and leap.

BlackButterfly said...

"Do we fight over s.o.'s? " NOOOOOOO. To fight over a S.O. is a major fail.

I have never and would never fight over a guy and my first experience with this type of thought process was in high school and even then I knew better than that. You can call me wrong at any point for saying this but it is a complete turnoff when guys feel some sense of pride and enjoy having females fight over them. They are forever emasculated to me.

Women that fight over men have not yet discovered their worth!

Lady4Real said...

*guilty pleasure confession* I love MTV's The Jersey Shore, there is a couple on the show named Sam and Ronnie, they fight every episode, usually over fidelity but (in my In Living Color voice) they still together. They call each other out, express their pain and dissatisfaction but never ask about the dude or chick on the side,this is the only thing I admire about them, Sam doesn't go looking for the girl or wanting to fight her and Ron doesn't go looking for the dude or wanting to fight him, but they go off on each other. Check your mate, not their side piece.

Shoot, Elin whipped Tiger's @$$ and didn't sugar to his side pieces.

SingLikeSassy said...

Why are these folks getting married? That is the question.

taut_7 said...

i would never, ever, ever fight over a woman. now fight FOR a woman is a different story. i'm with you. i'll take up the issue with her once. after that whoever dude is can have her. like the great philosopher gucci mane said: "girls are like buses, miss one, next 15 one coming".

Brneyed1 said...

Never, never, no not EVER fighting over an S.O. First time it happens he gets the People's Eyebrow and a very firm & succinct "shut that ish down, NOW." If he doesn't swiftly move into action & feels he's just gotta have this extra heifer hanging on, then he doesn't need/want/deserve me. I'm out...gone...ghost.

Some chick wanted to fight me because her S.O. kept chasing after me, even though I'd clearly told him that he had a snowball's chance in hell. I think he wanted his crazy girlfriend to fight me because I kept refusing him.

Chele, I'm glad that you and NN gave them some food for thought to go with their coffee.

Brneyed1 said...

I need that T-shirt in Medium, 3/4 length sleeves please.

Mykeia said...

"Third, Why did they have to sit next to you? What did they think you would understand their plight because you're black?"===> Glad that I was not the only one thinking this!

Brneyed1 said...

Me too.

EvolvingElle said...

I need my shirt in XL and in the color red. Please and thanks.

J. Jackson said...

*DEAD* at, "like the great philosopher gucci mane said: "girls are like buses, miss one, next 15 one coming". SN: That is my favorite line/part of the song. LOL

thinklikeRiley said...

Riley ain't gettin' his azz grazed by .22s over a chick. Sorry.

Jason P said...

I'm a lover not a fighter.

Grace said...

Once in Junior High, I was supposed to fight this one girl over a guy. My older sister found out came to the school and told me, "We don't fight over men. Men fight for us." So I told him, "You were going to let me fight over you? She can have you." Lesson learned.

David Chase said...

I will fight with you. I will fight for you. But over you? Not gonna happen.

AppleBerryMIA said...

There was this one girl when Rob and I started dating just kept showing up everywhere Rob was. He had told her to be gone, didn't encourage her but she was just straight stalking. I had to pull her on the side and have a little chat. We haven't seen her since. Some people have to try you. Only takes a few words to let them know you're not the one.

CaliGirlED said...

"...there will be no catfights over a dog up in here, lets go!" Love it!!!

CaliGirlED said...

Dudette was trying to get a hi-five or a "I know that's right girl" from Chele! And she ended up gettin a bougie backhand! LOL

CaliGirlED said...

"...Dude KNEW this would set her off, and he seems to relish this." EXACTLY!!! He answered the damn phone! He loved every moment of that ratchedness has always loved it and probably always will!

CaliGirlED said...

I'll take a medium, in red as well. Gracias!

CaliGirlED said...

Birds of a feather! They both love the drama! I wish them well.

CaliGirlED said...

May I just add, that I HATED getting phones calls from chicks cause they found my number. Check your man and have a nice day. Got caught up one time cause she inferred that her man must have been using me for sex. Set that a$$ straight real quick and left her wondering, "What the hell?"...So glad that's all in the past! LOL

Leo the Yardie Chick said...

Same reason DFKN and SEW are getting re-hitched: idiocy and drama love company.

CaliGirlED said...

That's what I'm talkin bout! Handle it!!!

Leo the Yardie Chick said...

"Shoot, Elin whipped Tiger's @$$ and didn't say sugar to his side pieces. "

Precisely. It wasn't the side piece that pledge fidelity to you. Save your energy for the one that broke your heart.

Leo the Yardie Chick said...

I'm stealing 'Quanquisha' for a future story, kthnxbai.

OneChele said...

You know I'm only printing it up in black and purple ;-)

maureen palmer said...

"the great philosopher gucci mane" did not know he is one. LOL!

OneChele said...

My brain shut down after "Quanquisha" because I suddenly pictured her in my head with blonde ringlet curls and and a fake platinum grill with "Q-Q" stamped on her front teeth.

maureen palmer said...

Small in grey.

OneChele said...

Apparently we need to give some refresher courses on bouge ascension.

Leo the Yardie Chick said...

Life's too short for drama. Plus, I DOUBT Dude would have been telling off Side Dude over the phone if Dudette was the cheating party. I doubt that very much.

OneChele said...

Yes! And I don't play with written vs. verbal warning. You get one warning, in whichever form it's delivered.

rozb said...

To show you are above the fray, the next time he/she disrespects you, give them a look to let you know that you see it, pull out your compact to check your face (or if you are a man, check your watch), and leave. No screaming and hollering, no throwing food and water everywhere. Just leave. Give them that one time to know you do not put up with shiggity at all. Set the tone, and make sure you stand by what you say - be prepared for him/her to call your bluff. If you treat your S.O. like an adult, the ball will be in their court to act like one.

As for sweating losing a good man/woman ('cause this goes for guys too!) how good must they be to keep putting you in the position of feeding the ego monster?

As for disrespectful stalkers - it takes one good word from your S.O. (with meaning, sincerity, and even force) and after that, maybe one good word from you. If the messy stalker stuff continues, call the police or your cousin Ray-Ray/Kee-Kee to simply shut it down and have a great day.

rozb said...

Maybe they sat next to each other on the tiny bus with the flavored windows and bumped helmets...

JohnKinPDX said...

Recognize the signs. He looked at the phone, looked at her, looked back at the phone and answered anyway. He knew it was a hot mess call. Phones have an IGNORE button for a reason. Dude should embrace technology.

TreyCharles said...

My man. .45s or buckshot either.

Cha Keziah said...

No ma'am. I value my peace of mind and pretty face too much to be playing games like that. And, really, what do I want with a man who doesn't recognize the blessing he has in me and has to go running around with someone else?

Now, if he's done all he should to shut this down (which was NOT seen here - why are we answering phone calls?), then there may need to be a brief and civilized bougie chat - but I think those times are few and far between.

And Chele, kudos on the "each one teach one" moment. All you can do is lead the horse to water. Oh, and you ain't slick, slipping Nouveau in there. ;) I see you at starbucks in the rain and being >here< on the important issues.

Jasmine Girl said...

BWAHAHA! I can see her now. In denim daisy dukes, tank top and high heel sneakers!

Alana said...

Bougie folks are nothing but classy. I don't know anyone who would've responded to her so - bougie like. Who would've clearly insulted her in a way that she was simply baffled. THIS post! Yes!

William Martin said...

This. All. Day. And furthermore, once we've decided it's you and me, I'm not going to put you in a situation where you feel threatened and you don't need to put me in a situation where I have to ball my fists up. That's So Not Bougie - I agree, Chele.

J. Jackson said...

Exactly. Would I have been wrong if I moved to another table once they started arguing? I can't STAND loud people!

.tisha said...

Yeah, no. I've made it almost 35 years with 'nary a fight to my name. Surely I'm not going to start in my adult years. How ridiculous! Even in high school, when girls were....less than happy with me for any number of silly reasons and acted like they wanted to fight me, I'd respond along the lines of "Girl, I'm not hardly about to mess up my hair, nails or clothes tusslin' around with you. For what? So we can still not like each other afterward? Please." LOL.

I'd be giving a STRONG side eye to any grown woman I'd see fighting another woman because some man isn't making his side-piece/ex-wife/baby mama/whatever respect the new relationship he's in. Because you're right--the REAL problem is with the man--he's the one who made a vow/promise/pinky swear/whatever with you--not the chick.

.tisha said...

THIS!!! My email siggy, which I got from a guy I follow on the Twitter, says "You teach a person how to treat you by what you ignore, what you stop, and what you reinforce." Sums it all up quite nicely.

.tisha said...

Love.This.

.tisha said...

GUCCI! LOL. I agree with you, Bruhs.

tiffanyinhouston said...

One small amendment to my previous comment. I won't fight a chick over a man on GP.

HOWEVER,

If she brings the fight to my house I'm taking exception and I'm gonna try my HARDEST to bash her f*cking skull in. I don't play that. If you pull that kind of stunt, you are wanting to have your ass tore from the frame.

Mr. Skyywalker said...

Domestic beef is the most dangerous kind out there. The woman before Mrs. Skyy used to try and flirt around with men to make me jealous often pissing off the woman that the other guy was with in the process. Messy and unnecessary. Not going there. Gotta go old school Bernie Mac "Who you wit?"

Andrea M said...

Hey now - chick show up at my door and won't get gone? I've got an app for that, it's called Can of Whoop Azz. Don't start none, won't be none.

What is it Chele say? Don't let the bougie fool ya.

GrownAzzMan said...

Perfectly said.

GrownAzzMan said...

"You teach a person how to treat you by what you ignore, what you stop, and what you reinforce."

I am un-apologetically stealing this.

All Honey said...

See? I'm that chick more likely to pop Dude in the head for answering that phone.
I'm still working on my bouge evolution.

Angel Blanca said...

"You're young--you still have time to ascend." THIS! WAS! CLASSIC!

I don't fight over people. You make your decisions, and you accept the consequences...and there will be consequences...if you violate the trust I've placed in YOU. That it got to wedding planning without addressing this basic understanding demonstrates a lack of effective communication, and does not bode well for their future matrimonial well-being.

cocoaeyecandy said...

Get it!

cocoaeyecandy said...

"You're young - you still have time to ascend." Technical Knock Out.

Joycelyn Curry said...

Love that quote. Stealing as well.

CaliGirlED said...

"...blonde ringlet curls and and a fake platinum grill with "Q-Q" stamped on her front teeth." *died 1,000 deaths!*

CaliGirlED said...

bumped helmets? You're killin me!!!

CaliGirlED said...

Me too!

CaliGirlED said...

This.right.here.

OnlytheTall said...

Uh wow. You're better than me, because I would have never even spoken to that party of two fools. I would've grabbed my friend arm and headed for the door. You had me laughing OUT LOUD (in my home of course) at "the Starbucks" Is that the new thing, calling Starbucks "the Starbucks"?

OnlytheTall said...

....my friend's arm that is..lol

Brneyed1 said...

Dead at "flavored windows"!

Brneyed1 said...

Printing & framing this.

JojoRaze said...

Exactly, people want to blame the woman for being extra why did this dude not put the phone on ignore. I don't condone cheating but I always say if you are going to do something--do it well. You know the sidepiece is calling, put the phone on ignore to avoid unnecessary drama in a public space. Sheesh!

Jade Star said...

I would never scrap over a dude, but I have went upside a chicks head for trying to come at me for going for him. I feel like this, if you're so billy bad ass, go ahead, take him. If he goes, you can have him.

However, don't come at me sideways or you're liable to get a spark kicked out your back.

And this:
"You just need to step outta the way so I can get at him. I don't know what he sees in you anyway."

Sista would have had a knuckle sandwich with a side of black eyes. The BF would have gotten something chopped off for even bringing that broad around.

I have learned in my years on this earth, I THRIVE for confrontation. Especially if can be proved that I was provoked into action, even better. I'm working on it, I am! People have learned not to come at me, because I'll give as good as it get and have a good time while I'm doing it!

BrendaKay said...

As a Mature Bougie, I don't have time, the desire, or the mental incapacity to be fighting over some old goat. No thank you. Besides, folks nowadays tend towards using weapons when settling the most minor of disputes. And some Viagra popping buzzard with a bad back and spotty memories of his supposed glory days as a "Playa" is not worth me dodging bullets for.

aishao1122 said...

you have bionic ears or something we were just talking about this just to today, Chele got them spies all around ya'll . I can't stand when women fight over men, for what reason?? there are plenty of them out there and believe if he's willing to cheat on her with you he's willing to cheat on you with someone else NO Sir, take that somewhere else please.

OneChele said...

BK said "Viagra-poppin' buzzard" - I'm done. Retiring from life. Effective immediately.

OnlytheTall said...

Sweet Jesus! You have top all comments with this! Thank you!

OnlytheTall said...

NO MAN is worth fighting over. Not one. Like you said, there are so many others out there and if one is not giving you the respect that you deserve please believe me there are others who will. I've been on this earth for a minute and have never had to even raise my voice to a man so you know I'm not about to start now. Drama, I'm immune to you.

OnlytheTall said...

Quanquisha (hysterical!) and Bonquiqui, are officially the names I will give fools and foolettes from now on. Thank you.

Leo the Yardie Chick said...

It's not even about being bougie. It' about having good home training, period!

Nadette said...

oh no, no no. This isn't even about bougie, this is about being a responsible adult, and 'sponsible grown ups don't fight over men! There are only a few instances in which the Camden, NJ will come out of me in the form of violence, but some ignant mess like this here, isn't one of them. And laser beam side eye to the starbucks employee. You and NN were already situated before that hot ghetto mess came in the store, so his inquiry was blatantly racist and wrong. Le sigh, le damn, le side eye.

GammasWorld said...

Note to self : steal "Viagra popping buzzard" from BrendaKay.

CaliGirlED said...

"However, don't come at me sideways or you're liable to get a spark kicked out your back."...The visual of that is just hilarious!!!

"Sista would have had a knuckle sandwich with a side of black eyes." *dead*

Jazzy Jazz said...

I can do you one better. My fathers other daughter( FOD for short ) wanted to fight me because her ex was dating a friend of mine. HOLD THE PHONE Harpo. Jass isnt fighting over a man. I have never understood why when a partner cheats the SO wants to go after the person they cheated with instead of their "beloved" .

And Chele you not slick , slipping in the Le Ninja Nouveau in this.

Alvin Milton said...

Definitely not fighting over a woman. I'm good on that.

Alvin Milton said...

Yall some violent women up on here and that ain't the half of it huh...

Annette Evans said...

THERE IS NEVER ANY FIGHTING OVER A MAN (or woman,guys). What separates us from the lower life forms is our ablity to think rationally. If you need to fight over someone, they were never yours to begin with. Besides, who wants to break an nail over some tired brother that is secretly enjoying all the attention? Chele is right, your beef is with the SO, not the interloper. Class, 101.

Honeybrown1976 said...

Love it!

I never had to fight because I kept my options open, black, white, Asian, etc., prior to marrying Mr. HoneyBrown. You were right. Bougie girls and women don't fight over men.

mojitochica said...

I had to unlike your comment for calling Gucci Mane a great philosopher e_O

CorettaJG said...

C'mon son...this is some foolishness. I wish I would be caught fighting some chick over a man. Please. Puh-lease!

Single_lif said...

I've been saying this for years. Told it to a young lady just last week.

Single_lif said...

Said something similar to the S.O a couple weeks ago.

Single_lif said...

This.Right.Here. Leave them both stunned into silence..

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