Friday, March 25, 2011

This is how you lose when you win...

Recap - last year I dated a guy named Derrick. We nicknamed him New Dude. New Dude had a shady ex-wife (SEW) and a scandalous-azz best friend, Vince. The drama they rained down was too much for a bougie chick to bear and I bounced. Derrick became Dude Formerly Known as New (DFKN) and went back to his ex-wife. To no one (but Derrick's) surprise, SEW was caught bouncing around D's bed with Vince... on the sheets I picked out. But I'm over it. Sorta. Okay, those sheets were too nice for skankdom.

Anywho... I ran into Skanky SEW at the Whole Foods a few weeks ago. My bad. I made the mistake of introducing BougieMom to the non-dairy expensive goodness of almond milk and now she'll put nothing else atop her cereal medley. Yes, she has a medley. Don't get me started. The point is, I popped into the Whole Foods further away than my regular one and paid the price.

There in between dairy and deli was SistaShagsALot SEW, testing various cheddar samples. I tried to float on by but she wasn't going to let that happen. "Hey Marsha." I kept rolling. The stank ho heffa knows good and well what my name is. "Michele!" She yelled out. I turned and waved, "Hey." Kept rolling.

Now she's following me around the store. "You know Derrick and I are getting remarried?"

"Yes, there's no fool like a whipped fool. Congratulations." DFKN's mom and cousin both told me. They weren't happy but I wasn't that surprised. I rolled onto the next aisle. All I needed were some bottles of Vitamin Water, some French Vanilla Almond granola and I could bounce.

"Don't be bitter, it will make you look old before your time."

"Then perhaps you should rethink that cream-based eyeshadow you're wearing. See you around." And still she's following me.

"Whatever."

I tossed the last few things in the cart and headed for check out. I sent her a look, "Did you need something else?"

"It's tacky but I just have to say it... I win."

Calling on Jesus to keep me from doing anything that would require a call to BougieSis for bail money, I took a deep break and answered, "You think so?"

"I got the man, the house, the bling. And what do you have?"

I rolled my eyes, "You're living in a house I decorated, marrying a man I discarded for pure ratchetassness, and that bracelet you're rocking was picked out for me. You're living my reject life, sweetheart." [See how my inner evil b*tch just jumped out right there? Mea culpa]

She looked at the bracelet, "What do you mean?"

"What do you think the M stands for? And the little pen?"

She looked down and her face fell. She opened her mouth to say something else and I stopped her. "By the way, Derrick doesn't like cheddar. He likes Monterey Jack."

"Why didn't he ever tell me?"

Because he has Recurring Male Disappearing Balls Syndrome (RMDBS)? Sometimes he can locate them, sometimes he can't. But I said, "If you haven't figured that out yet, y'all are in worse shape than I thought."

She had the good nerve to get a little tear in her eye as I walked away. Whatev. Boo to the hoo.

Moral to the story - Don't bait a bougie chick with some bullshiggity, it's just going to bounce back on you.

History Lesson of the Day - The phrase "Pyrrhic Victory" is named after King Pyrrhus of Epirus, whose army suffered irreplaceable casualties in defeating the Romans at Heraclea in 280 BC and Asculum in 279 BC during the Pyrrhic War. In both of these victories, the Romans suffered greater casualties than Pyrrhus did. However, the Romans had a much larger supply of men from which to draw soldiers, so their casualties did less damage to their war effort than Pyrrhus' casualties did to his. [The Romans eventually came back on him and whipped his azz]

To have a Pyrrhic Victory is to win the battle but lose the war. Like winning one lap of the race and someone else gets the gold medal. Like Clay Aiken and Ruben Studdard. Sure Ruben won American Idol but um... Clay won. I say let's now submit SEW to Wikipedia and add her to this definition. [Y'all know you are dying to run out telling folks, "That's a Pyrrhic Victory, yo! I'm about to come back on you like the Romans came back on Pyrrhus!" No? Just me? Le Shrug. Here on BnB, we entertain and we learn.]

For the record, this whole #winning concept is shady. What's the prize? What did you lose on the way to the win? Nobody wins all the darn time, c'mon now. What good is one week of winning if you're whole year sucks eggs? Sometimes when you think you're winning, you're really losing - wouldn't you agree? Who has some thoughts on this BougieTale of When B*tches Attack? The floor is yours...

205 comments:

1 – 200 of 205   Newer›   Newest»
Jubilance said...

Wait a minute - DFKN is remarrying her, AFTER catching her & Vince stirring the cocoa in his bed? And he gave her the bracelet you rejected?

Le damn sigh (I've always wanted to use that - yay!)

Those two fools definitely deserve each other.

As for winning, in some way she did. How many other fools are gonna put up with her cheating & other rachet behavior? Not many, so I suppose thats a "win" in her book. Problem is, her version of winning is like being the best house on a bad block - you''re just the best of the worst, but you still suck at life. And she definitely does.

aishao1122 said...

"You're living in a house I decorated, marrying a man I discarded for pure ratchetassness, and that bracelet you're rocking was picked out for me. You're living my reject life, sweetheart."<-------- Dead on the Floor

GIRL, she asked for that LOLOLOLOL a verbal beat down is worse than an actual swing, why do think people still remember bullies 20 years later, but can't remember how a fist fight went?? Let's not even really look at Derrick's stupidity in remarrying her, that's his business, some people love the drama (but love to pretend they don't).

Your line that zinger was too awesome!!!! "my reject life" muahahahahahaha wow just wow. Gotta love it. this why my sisters and I always remind people, don't mess with the 'nerdy' kids they store up all the best lines from literature, and have learned how to make their words into swords,and we can and will cut deeper than the sword every really can. She's doubting him, her marriage, and her life right now, and this may sound mean, but GOOD.

Just Ang said...

""You're living in a house I decorated, marrying a man I discarded for pure ratchetassness, and that bracelet you're rocking was picked out for me. You're living my reject life, sweetheart.""

WHAT! This cant be life....it just cant be! Someone please push DFKN closer to the cross bc hes going to need some blessings in his life ASAP!

Btw, thank you for the evidence that Whole Foods is the devils work.

CorettaJG said...

Oh good Lord! This is pure foolishness. He's remarrying her?! She's chasing you around the store to say that "she won"?! She's wearing your custom gift?! What in the world?!

This is definitely one where a person thinks they are winning and they are steady losing. I don't see any winners in this sad saga, except you for exiting stage left.

Lakechia A. Toombs said...

You're right, I'm going to make a concerted effort to work "Pyrrhic Victory" into a conversion with one particular person.

I went through a similar situation like this years ago. Two ratchet individuals who, in order to 'win', will save face, put on airs with other family and friends and cheat on each other like a weird game of relationship chicken.

Luckily I had enough sense to walk away while she twisted her little hips into "Da Nile" to the pied piper music he so eloquently played for her...and subsequently played for a few others too.

Angela said...

If SEW read your blog she would have learned a few things, one being about that bracelet. smh

Digal704 said...

Dude has some serious self esteem issues. I just don't understand. He is simple as the day is long. I wonder if Vince is best man? The nerve of that scandalous trick running behind you in the store! Trifling, assorted deragatory names. SMDH!

Reads4Pleasure said...

"You're living in a house I decorated, marrying a man I discarded for pure ratchetassness, and that bracelet you're rocking was picked out for me. You're living my reject life, sweetheart."

This right here makes my inner bitch cackle with glee.

blackprofessor said...

"You're living in a house I decorated, marrying a man I discarded for pure ratchetassness, and that bracelet you're rocking was picked out for me. You're living my reject life, sweetheart." - Classic line and I am dead!

The nerve of her to roll up on you and say she won. Bravo to you Chele for giving this skank the verbal beatdown that she has been needing. I am sure the look on her face was priceless, which was the real win. Le sigh for both of them and the bootleg children they will probably produce. I don't get why folks think any means justifies any ends.

maureen palmer said...

Say what? Because today is fasting and prayer day I can't say what is on my mind. Le sigh Le Boo

.tisha said...

See.

This?

Right here?

Is why when people were calling for my ex-husband's blood (or at least for me to go real bad on him), I held my peace and my place. You don't have to do anything. Not to him, not to her, nothing. They create space and opportunity for shady dealings to occur and guess what? They do.

THIS yamp right here, though? She told on herself. She flaunted her insecurities like a new pair of earrings--or like that bracelet that she had on that wasn't for her. LOL. Poor thing.

She got what she wanted, but it sure ain't what she (or anyone else) needed.

Hecka bold she was, though. Uber, even.

.tisha said...

"Trifling, assorted deragatory names"

iHollered!

.tisha said...

That's just it, Jubes! Her idea of a supreme win is an epic loss in everyone else's book. That she doesn't realize that is....almost sad. Where are the people who love her? Every time I see/read/hear of someone being the Queen of All That is Ratchet and Simple, I wonder that; where are the people who love him/her? Will no one tell him/her to have a STADIUM of seats?" I mean, I know loved ones can't stop every act of sheer stupidity and extreme thirst but....we oughta try. LOL.

CaliGirlED said...

Hol-lup!!! Did you just stick an ancient history lesson in with this story? Brilliant I tell ya!!!...BRB

CaliGirlED said...

"Will no one tell him/her to have a STADIUM of seats?"...I'm soooo stealing that! LOL

CaliGirlED said...

This is why I have so rejected the saying from childhood, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me." DEAD WRONG!!! Chele just murdered that dumbass with nothing but words. First degree murder I tell ya! BougieLand we need to come up with attorney fees for a great lawyer so that Chele doesn't go to the electric chair. LMAO!!!

CaliGirlED said...

"Someone please push DFKN closer to the cross..." *DEAD*

ConvertingMe said...

DFKN gave her your bracelet? He is remarrying her? Again?

I. Can't. Process. He has deeper issues than we (Bougie land) suspected.

SEW brought that broken face on herself with the "I win" - Umm what you got? A man with the inability to cut his losses and run, Recurring Male Disappearing Balls Syndrome, and a hidden love for Mexican soap opera drama...not a win.

On a side note, I would have paid as my grandmother would say "good money" to see you and SEW squared off all Mexican stand off style in the aisle at Whole Foods. (Can I say there was not a more bougie setting without formal clothes?)

I think it was Will Smith who said "don't come to a battle of wits unarmed"

CaliGirlED said...

"...a hidden love for Mexican soap opera drama..." SMDH!!! With all of this laughter that is and will continue to take in BougieLand today, I am going to have a great Friday!

Girl I would have mortgaged the farm to be in that Whole Foods that day!

ConvertingMe said...

"Relationship chicken" is now going into my lexicon. That is all.

kjnetic aka Peter Parker said...

"You're living in a house I decorated, marrying a man I discarded for pure ratchetassness, and that bracelet you're rocking was picked out for me. You're living my reject life, sweetheart."

damn, that's more than shots fired, that's that cannon fire from "The Patriot"...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BcaQerCQdk0 (warning not for the faint of heart)
i guess in a way...she 'won'...she got buns from her side piece, got a man that doesn't have the guts to dismiss a chick that would willingly get the McBuns with his best friend...if that's how they do it....i wish 'em well.

i just wonder if he ever comes back to this website...i wonder if he thinks to himself "Why Did i Choose This?"

CaliGirlED said...

""Yes, there's no fool like a whipped fool. Congratulations."...JAB

"Then perhaps you should rethink that cream-based eyeshadow you're wearing."...JAB

""You're living in a house I decorated, marrying a man I discarded for pure ratchetassness, and that bracelet you're rocking was picked out for me. You're living my reject life, sweetheart."...Left upper cut to the jaw followed by a right hook and SEW hits the canvas! *BougieLand goes wild*...10, 9, 8....2, SEW staggers to the ropes.

"What do you think the M stands for? And the little pen?"...Double JAB *ooooh aaaah*

"By the way, Derrick doesn't like cheddar. He likes Monterey Jack." Power Punch! Lawd have mercy, Chele is brutal!!! SEW is back on the canvas! *BougieLand is on its feet*...10, 9, 8...SEW tries to get up but she's just to wobbly

"If you haven't figured that out yet, y'all are in worse shape than I thought." Chele puts her foot on SEW's back and pushes her back down!....2,1. Ding ding ding. The winner and reigning Champ is Michele Grant!!! *victory cheers from BougieLand*

*mental note to never get involved in verbal warfare with Chele cause she fights dirty*

Trudy said...

So this is like the best blog post I read all week. LOL. Thanks to Sheen, winning/bi-winning (though the way it is actually said is comical) is really a new word for losing.

You mentioned a tear in her eye and I almost got one laughing at this post. How sad for a woman like this. I won't lie, it is funny. But really overall it is sad. I didn't know getting a loser of a guy, real estate and someone else's jewelry are accomplishments. Odd. She probably thought she was "Kardasianing" like your previous post this week.

Jennifer said...

**STANDING OVATION FOR One Chele**

You put your purple sandle where the sun don't shine, didn't even smudge your pedicure.

Yeah I'm saved, probably bougie too, but that don't make me a punk.

Michele said...

You are my bougie hero! Living your reject life indeed!

happinessisme said...

My god, Derrick is a *itch ninja!!!! He's marrying her? After finding her in bed with his "best friend". Hilarious.

OSHH said...

Loves it LOL!!!! ITA with your thoughts on winning *slow eye roll* and how you handled that. Nice!

Stank_0 said...

That. Was. An. Epic. Ether. I may have to remember "reject life."

That had to sting, she got someone else's throwaway bling. At least Derrick was smart enough to re-gift. #SmallWinningButYouStillLosingBecauseYouSoftAsTissuePaper

Brneyed1 said...

Nuh-uhn, this was a good, clean fight. SEW stepped her light flyweight azz into the ring with the heavyweight BougieGOAT!! I wish I had a few Bens down on that fight!

Brneyed1 said...

Hell to the NO!! Seriously?? I couldn't even finish my coffee because I had to read this post three times because I didn't believe it the first two times. She seriously said that she "won?"

WOOOOOW!! *in my Flava Flav voice*

Where are they? I want to be their agent and sign them up for a reality show, because they are money in the bank with their ratchetassedness.

rochee said...

I am convinced that Derrick has got to be mentally retarded. And I mean that in the meanest way possible. I have never in my life heard of such utter nonsense. You have an ex-wife that has cheated on you repeatedly in the past. Manipulated you. Played with your emotions. And to top it off, your crazy behind decides to give her another chance and she CHEATS ON YOU AGAIN WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND! and you are remarrying her. He is retarded and he has no judgement whatsoever. Not bad judgement, NO JUDGEMENT. He lacks the ability to think. Whatever pain and suffering this woman causes him is deserved at this point.

Just_A_Thought1218 said...

Bwahahahahaha! Serves her right for trying to start stuff. If she's so bad, if she really won, then why is she so insecure that she has to attempt to get a rise out of you? Messy heaux just get my goat, I tell you. You showed excellent restraint. Don't mess with the Bouge!

And, DFKN is just... you know what? He reminds me of all the dudes I knew in undergrad who kept wifing up the same trifling chick, and eventually married her, and then have the nerve to blow up my phone/email/FB talking about "I didn't know she was [fill in the blank], and I should have gotten with you blahblahblahblahblah." Getouttaherewidalladat. This just let's me know that far too many men have no good sense when picking chicks.

And that #winning concept is just ridiculous. It was started by a violent drug addict who hadn't yet reaped the full consequences of his actions. Why should any reasonable person emulate that? If you are truly winning, you don't have to convince the world about it.

Jade Star said...

"You're living in a house I decorated, marrying a man I discarded for pure ratchetassness, and that bracelet you're rocking was picked out for me. You're living my reject life, sweetheart."

FALCON PUNCH!

Ooh lawd, you are SOOO much better than me because it would have been a hoe down in whole foods. I would have tap danced on that ratchet chicks face like Gregory Hines in White Nights.

The fact she ran you down just to announce they're getting married was a sign she was on some mess and ready to get dirty. It's ratchet chicks like these that mess up the game for the real women who keep running into men that's been ruined by these trifling lowlife hussies. I so WISH I could create a jump squad that would hem these hoes up like a pair of pants whenever they pull ratchetness like this.

CaliGirlED said...

Don't get me wrong, SEW deserved EVERY single blow. LOL!!! And light flyweight ass is right!

Just_A_Thought1218 said...

Is it my inner beyotch, my intuition, or just plain blind hope that's telling me that SEW cannot have kids? Would that, beside Chele escaping this hotazzmess, be the lone glimmer of good to come out of this festering stew of ratchet?

Crystal said...

I was so upset when you and dude formerly known as new broke up (yes, I was that invested lol). I was even hoping that he would see the light, (and finally grow a pair) but now that all of this has happened and he is remarrying SEW I say bravo to you!!! You have dodged a major bullet!!! I really cannot believe he is remarrying this "woman" who cheated on him, twice!!! WTF, what is wrong with him? Really, what is going on in his mind!!!

Just_A_Thought1218 said...

And another thing. Who goes to Whole Foods to buy cheddar? Seriously? You go there for gouda, for manchego, for gruyere, for high end blue cheese (gorgonzola, roquefort, etc.) There is no need for artisanal cheddar because it really isn't worth it tastewise. Tacky heffa trying to dine above her station.

Cherelle D. Mattox said...

I just. . .I mean. . .I'm still scratching my head over the pure stupidity of DKFN and SEW. He deserves everything that is coming to him. I'm still speechless. I mean WDDDA!

Mr. Skyywalker said...

Damn, you riverdanced all over her azz.
DFKN stays losing.

Crystal said...

I really, really, really hope they do not have children!!!! Poor, poor children!!! I feel sorry for them already and they are not even here yet.

Alana said...

First time reading the blog, and I have to say, I picked a very good day to read. You were classy, she picked, you were still classy, she picked, you were bitchy, she whined, you were back classy. She lost this one, and, unfortunately, she doesn't even know DFKN likes Monterrey Jack vs Cheddar, he's going to hate dinner. SMH

Just_A_Thought1218 said...

Girl, I have seen firsthand how many men exhibit absolutely NO judgement in picking their SOs/spouses. Like Stank_O said, comfortable is safe, and too many men (and women, but we're talking about the bruhs here) feel like reasonably attractive+comfortable = ok for marriage. I would have thought once DFKN experienced a drastic upgrade that he would have at least stepped up his game, but clearly he's still playing relationship T-ball.

thinklikeRiley said...

What Imma do is get me some cards with "Pyrrhic Victory" stamped on one side in block letters. On da other side they gonna say "Look it up". Imma drop those joints on folks as needed.

P.S. Done told ya SEW needed her azz kicked months ago. Bet she won't roll up on you again. I bet she cross da skreet when she see Lady Bouge coming!

C Nelson said...

Ahahahahaha. No ... really? She really thought she had room and reason to gloat? Poor child. Someone did a truly awful job of instilling standards in her; you just know she's been handed (or run after!) the cut-price mystery meat so often in her life, she can't tell it's not the premium ground sirloin. No woman with a good opinion of herself and the wherewithal to accurately judge people would have picked Vince over Derrick, or Derrick over someone who actually belongs to the subphylum Vertebrata even when the moon isn't blue.

FreeBlackMan said...

I just need to share this with SEW:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UzfY-aXGcBY

Grace said...

This is what folks don't get about bougie chicks. We'll be polite until you force us not to be. Don't roll up while I'm getting my almond milk and granola on minding my own business to talk shiggity. No ma'am.

Derrick is the stupidest ninja ever.

rochee said...

You are right, men and women can both be absolutely stupid when it comes to picking mates. Sometimes all a man sees is a pretty face, hair, body or whatever superficial nonsense that gets them excited and they can't see past the fact that the woman is crazy or an emotional disaster.

Superwoman said...

i have to say this in my own language, coz english does not suffice for the sheer juiciness... *hands on hips, expression of utter admiration on my face* TJO TJO TJO TJO TJO TJO TJO!!!!!!!!!!!

MICHELLE!!!!! you're my bloody shero! WHAT was this trollop thinking, trying to best you - and in the Whole Foods no less??? i'm sure she's weeping into a glass of cheap red as we speak. hope she gets a hangover from hell.

nicely played, Michelle...i am very, very, very, very, very impressed!!!!!

Superwoman said...

and i liked him so much in the early days!! feel so duped!

CaliGirlED said...

But from the Major League all the way back down to Little League? He could have at least went to the Minors, at least there you get a paycheck, benefits and a little recognition. His ass is playing T-ball in his neighborhood park! LOL

Superwoman said...

bootleg children!!!!!!!

bua ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! you're going to hell for this one! but i'll join you there, that was just TOO hilarious!!!

datdudeincali said...

Because he has Recurring Male Disappearing Balls Syndrome (RMSBS) *falls out*

Beentheredoneittwice said...

Girl, they are right there shaking their heads along with the rest of us. However, when folks want to continually to be shady and act out all types of tomfoolery on the days of the week that end in 'Y', well, they get tired too!

Sarah said...

Wow! Now, see I don't like the b-word. I don't use it generally ever, but if there was a time.... that woman is a witch with a b. Good glory be. No more going in that Whole Foods for you. Derrick is a lost cause. How can a man be over 40 and so little sense. It's just sad.

Superwoman said...

hear hear!! that guy was one of 2010's major disappointments for me, i was SO hoping it'd end beautifully. but, like you said - michelle's gods and ancestors were with her, coz she dodged a MAJOR bullet....

Andrea M said...

If she had a lick of class, she would've waved and kept it moving. But no, she kept coming and basically asked for the bougie beatdown she got. I was reading this in my office, hopped up and pointed at the monitor, screaming, 'That's what she gets! That's what she gets!" They've decided I'm the crazy black chick anyway.

rozb said...

First - I love the subtle Tourette's episodes in the story! However, this is the perfect example of dealing with ratched-A folks with dignity and a healthy dose of "Don't get it twisted!"

She didn't win anything at all. She got a gift meant for someone else (I take it her first name doesn't begin with an "M") and was too stupid to look at it and see that none of the charms represented her; she is back in a relationship with a man she probably left because he was short two testes in the first place; and (this is my little dig) she is still skantastic and will forever be compared to you in an unflattering way by his family and probably him.

She was outclassed in so many ways that she didn't recognize losing when it happened to her. BTW - you have your own house, bling, and choice of menfolk who ride a whole lot higher on the food chain. She is just living on borrowed and pilfered shine. Mess with the bouge, you get the horns.

JohnKinPDX said...

So I spent the morning catching up on this whole Derrick/New Dude/DFKN saga. Girl that's better than most the movies in the theater right now. You guys lived a whole life in six months. And this right here would make a classic ending... until the sequel.

rozb said...

She might have been frontin' because she only knows of the Kraft "American" Cheese variety.

rozb said...

She might have to get her eyelids cut because they are swollen shut from the Bougie Beatdown!

William Martin said...

Can we start a foundation for the cure of RMSBS, Recurring Male Disappearing Balls Syndrome - because I suspect it is at epidemic levels.

L.P. said...

Allow me to channel ThinkLikeRiley for a little bit: what part of the game is this? DFKN is seriously marrying SEW?? Like for real, for real? After all that went down? Well, there is nothing else to say then... I bet the best friend is the best man... and they will live happily ever threesome after... *shaking my damn head in disbelief*

Untouched Jewel said...

I rolled my eyes, "You're living in a house I decorated, marrying a man I discarded for pure ratchetassness, and that bracelet you're rocking was picked out for me. You're living my reject life, sweetheart." [See how my inner evil b*tch just jumped out right there? Mea culpa]

She looked at the bracelet, "What do you mean?"

"What do you think the M stands for? And the little pen?"

She looked down and her face fell. She opened her mouth to say something else and I stopped her. "By the way, Derrick doesn't like cheddar. He likes Monterey Jack."

Girl...!!!!! You may have lost the war, but the battle shole was sweet! Chele, you had a comeback of all comebacks, and I screamed and laughed at the top of my lungs, cause I was definitely imagining how broke ole girl's face was. ROTFL. That sound like some ish I would do, then walk away with a blank stare at the same time. Callous and calculating...I like that.

That should be a notice to any heffa who thinks they are getting a treasure when they are really getting trash (or running back to it). Former new-new: he's the one who loses, cause you Ms. Chele, are in a class all by yourself. And SEW (whatever that acronym stands for) loses, cause she thinks she's doing something by getting him back, but didn't even know that her "husband" (or lack thereof) doesn't like cheddar cheese. DROTFL. You need to show these ratchet ass women some class, cause they don't seem to get it. CLASSIC POST!

Ms. Parker said...

I must say I absolutely love this post! It was so good I just had to comment! Way to go Chele, let the bouge prevail!

Just_A_Thought1218 said...

lol, you're probably right!

aishao1122 said...

SEW- Shady ex wife or in this case Skanky ex wife

baileyqc said...

"No fool like a whipped fool"
"Cream-based eyeshadow"
"You're living my reject life, sweetheart"
"What do you think the M stands for?"
Just take me now, Lord. I'm ready to go.

aishao1122 said...

Chele doesn't do re-runs or sequels with this crazy- so we are out of luck on that one

SingLikeSassy said...

"It's tacky but I just have to say it... I win."<---that's when I would have said OK and busted out laughing.

I want Derrick to seek out some therapy.

IJustcant said...

Derrick is an Idiot (Lord please help some of these men today...please Father).
SistaShagsaLot (SSAL) deserved every bit of the tongue lashing

I pray they both stay married to each other so we do not have men like Derrick roaming around in the dating world, all stupid and what not. We definitely do not need SSAL in the mix either.

The Good Lord loves you so much Chele, you really dodged an idiot in Derrick. I hope he reads this, or at least his cousin prints the post, plus the comments and hands it to his dumb behind.

iJusCan't...I really Can't.

Untouched Jewel said...

*Super Dead* William, you are hilarious!

Jasmine Girl said...

I need SEW to sit her trif-azz all the way down.
I need Derrick to reattach his balls.
And I need you to quit making me scream with laughter at work. In this economy, I gotta keep a job!

Jasmine Girl said...

Pandemic sir. Pandemic

DesertBlack said...

You set up the foundation ... I will write the first check. We will need to do it all, walk a thon, 5k, 12k, TV marathon. Anybogy have any ideas for a logo?

OneChele said...

People just make the Shaquishanetta Rozay come out.

Untouched Jewel said...

Chele, I gotta send this link to my sister and have her dyin laughin at this post. This just absolutely made my Friday!

TooShay said...

SEW's first (of many) mistakes was to attempt to come sideways at the Bougie in a Bougie environment. Chele had home court advantage in that Whole Foods - ain't no way she was about to lose on her own turf!

Flawless Victory!!!

GrownAzzMan said...

WOW! Just WOW!

Jamie Wesley said...

I would love to have been a fly on the wall when she got home and confronted him about the bracelet. Susan Lucci should have been up in there taking notes.

I'm sure in her mind and maybe out of his mouth, he dumped Michele to be with her, so she won. She doesn't even want him. She just wanted to win. And now that she (hopefully) realizes that she hasn't, I wonder how long their engagement will last.

One more thing...how desperate/crazy/needy is DFKN? Is he so afraid of being alone that he accepts this shadiness in his life over and over again?

MeetCharlieL said...

Trying to attach an image, I think it's a contender for the Foundation to Cure RMSBS. Also known as bitchassness)
Gents, we have to band together - the threat can be stopped.

Bea said...

Yeah, she salvaged last week's leftovers from the trash can and she is 'winning'. Hmm...

MeetCharlieL said...

What DID he tell her the M stood for?!
They deserve each other. And it's two less ratchety folks for the rest of us to have to deal with.

Jason P said...

We need to sell cookies, go door to door, the spread of ball-less bitchassness must stop.

MichelleG said...

Michele you are my shero for real. I hope Sheryl (from yesterday) is reading this. When you stand with your principles what may feel like a temporary loss will ultimately be shown for what it truly is. Sometimes its hard to walk away but walk (run/trot) you must. A man that invites this level of bullshiggity in his space (or disrespects your beliefs) has no place in your life. Even if you can't see WHY at the time it will all come to light and be crystal clear in time.

What I don't get is even the dumbest people out here know their ABC's. I can not figure out what SEW thought the M and the pen on the bracelet stood for.

You slayed her and didn't utter one cuss word. Yeah for scrabble and smart girls!! Lesson learned.

BlackButterfly said...

Ewwww.... DFKN and SEW deserve each other.

DFKN (cuz I know you are reading),
Chele did a great thing for herself by running and not walking away from you because damaged people create damaged lives for those who are sane. Make sure that when you take your vows with SEW that you'll take out a few things--aww who are we kidding-- take out everything but your names and 'I Do'! Oh yeah and make sure you say the correct name (the jig is up on the bracelet) because you don't want your wedding day to become your funeral.

Chele, I see a book coming out of this one for ya!

Lady4Real said...

Without reading any of the comments I must tip my hat to LeBougieCousin and said Brava for handling this situation in such a classy yet tactful way. I just admire you so much. SEW is a loser, and DFKN is a dumbass, they deserve each other. Glad you left when you did and didn't turn back, you turned left at the lantern and kept it moving, great job.

OneChele said...

LMAO - Why riverdancing - why?! LOL!

J B said...

Vince as best man! I screamed at that!

Chele, you don't have to, but can someone go to (and record) their wedding? So when they get to the part about "If anyone knows of a reason why this couple should not be wed...", someone can stand up and mention who did who? Just for comic effect?

I volunteer.

OneChele said...

We entertain AND we learn. You're welcome ;-)

GrownAzzMan said...

Props for the Rocky reference...

CaliGirlED said...

I'll keep my ideas of the logo to myself. Just can't come up with a clean one! LOL

Lady4Real said...

Naw Cali she fights clean. That battle was above the waist all upper cuts, hooks and jabs, SEW just wasn't ready for what she stepped into that's all. LOL

CaliGirlED said...

Girl the "bracelet convo" had to be all kinds of funny!

Nikki said...

This is Nikki. Let me scan these comments.
Girl, you got to warn me when you blog about my retarded cuzzo D so I don't fall out clutching the pearls at work. Let me drop some 411 -
They getting married in Vegas just the two of them because don't nobody from either family want to witness this hot mess again.
Vince ran off and married a 23 year old white girl named Stormy. Nah - I aint made that up. She was stripping down near Loop 12 his azz took her off the pole and wifed her up.
Derrick and SistaShagsalot won't be having kids. Derrick had the snip-snip done in February.
Yeah, I'm up here telling the business so you can see that you made the right move. That boy will just never learn. Give me a call sometime and we'll catch up on the rest (yes, there's more).

CaliGirlED said...

"...make a life with a woman who was clearly superior to anyone he'd known before." Obviously too much for him to handle. So he hand to fall back down to the level of woman for which his balls weren't necessary.

OneChele said...

Wait - what? Vince married a stripper named Stormy who is 20 years younger? Can you say - PreNup?! D had a vasectomy?! But he wanted kids! Two of 'em! Lawd. I'll call you.

bella said...

This made me so sad at first because I was just thinking how you and DFKN would be wonderful together if he grew a pair but clearly she has them in a jar on a shelf.
That being said, you handled yourself very well and told her about her ratchet self!

Penny said...

Can you share with the rest of us? Pretty please?? The hits just keep on coming with these folks.

OneChele said...

@MeetCharlieL submitted this: https://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/rlrKHVESRw8JS9IHekm-uvnLU5wvOH5mefepfZ1_1QE?feat=directlink

jake said...

Shaquishanetta?! Rozay? Is that your alter ego's name? LOLOL

jake said...

Yesss!!!

jake said...

Problem here, I think DFKN has misplaced his entire package. Not just Los Huevos. He is in need of an entire reattachment procedure.

Just_A_Thought1218 said...

I was right about them not having kids! My intution for the win! (Although my inner beyotch was whispering that it was SEW who would have been the one who would've been unable to have kids).

And Vince marrying a stripper is yawn worthy. Guess he needed a wife to compete with DFKN. SEW will be joining in on their activities tho, so whatev.

TreyCharles said...

I have to take a minute and squeal like a girl "OMG!"
Chickie takes *itchy to a whole other level. She's lucky you're not a hood chick.
Hood chick would've body checked her into the cheddar display and ganked the bracelet.
This whole sitch-you-a-shun has got to go down in the Bougie Beatdown Hall of Fame.
*stands up to start the slow clap and chant" Bou-gie! Bou-gie! Bou-gie!

Jeannette said...

Is it just me? Or was anyone else looking forward to reading about another hot mess wedding?.. i'm actually kind of sad they are eloping in Vegas. Chris Brown themed wedding anybody? LOL

TreyCharles said...

Got-Damn! How many degrees of FAIL is THIS?!

TreyCharles said...

Ya know what? Maybe that was his problem. He knew he was outclassed and just sabotaged his way out. That's rule #5 in the the bitchass playbook, no?

TreyCharles said...

I got five on it

aishao1122 said...

Love how you just straight spilled all the beans, im glad one of them has the sense not procreate, and pass this hot mess on to anyone else. Can Vince be anymore typical??? Don't understand why some people insist on being ghetto and dumb thanks for sharing though and Miss Chele you got to share when you learn more PLEASE

SassyJJ said...

Even though I was on #teamtakethebraceletanddontlookback, the good Lawd knew what he was doing when you decided to give it back. He KNEW this ratchetness was going to happen! HA!

And for chick to not know her man's favorite food...#FAIL.

Natasha said...

#i.just.cant This right here is EPIC FAIL on all counts. Whoever down below said that they needed their own reality show, THIS RIGHT HERE proves it. *paging Dr. Phil*

Cherelle D. Mattox said...

OMG, I can't take it!!

Mykeia said...

Sooooooo much to say here...but I that I can say is DAAAAAAANNNNNNGGGGGG!!!
Seriously, you can not make this stuff up OneChele, really you cannot.
I can't read the comments yet because I am at work, (bills) but I know that they are good today!
What a Friday.
Remarried?! How is his mother letting this happen? How did he not get past the image of his best friend and woman in bed together? <= maybe that's just me.
OneChele, girrlllll, you cut your losses quick and early. STAY AND BE BLESSED.

Cha Keziah said...

Pyrrich Victory = win. This is why you don't fight above your paygrade; you get caught unawares and it's your own fault. Ignorance is no defense under the law.

Chele, clearly you are laughing your way home. Enjoy Lenny and drop a prayer for DFKN every once in a bit.

IJustcant said...

I called that ignoramus an idiot, but I feel very bad for his dumb butt. The Bougie Prayer Circle will include him in our monthly intercession session.

Rob said...

These two ninjas are the losingest grown-azz dudes on the planet!
23 y/o strippers and skanky ex-wives?
Everybody say it with me now - What Part Of The Game Is THIS?!

SBChitownChick said...

Greco-Roman history was my minor so all you do is WIN, WIN, WIN with this Pyrrhic Victory reference.
But um... you kinda won the battle AND the war on this one, ma.

keishabrown said...

All I have to say is I'm glad they are both off the market because clearly they deserve each other!
But in response to your very classy and bouge response: BOOOOOOOM *in my Rick Ross voice.

Leon X said...

When Rubbing It In Your Face Goes Wrong. http://www.sadtrombone.com/

keishabrown said...

NOT bootleg children!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CaliGirlED said...

I stand corrected, she fights HARD! Either whay (Katt Williams pronunciation) I don't want to get in the verbal boxing ring with her! LOL

keishabrown said...

cannons to the left of them. cannons to the right of them
VOLLEY AND THUNDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CaliGirlED said...

I just died a 1,000 deaths!!!

Joy Andrews said...

You lost me at Stormy. iCan't
*logs off life*

keishabrown said...

ETHER
RIGHT!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!!
Chick is TOTALLY Prodigy in a tu-tu right now.

CaliGirlED said...

Perfect! LMAO!!!

keishabrown said...

mmm...asiago cheese.....

SingLikeSassy said...

*blink* *blink* *blink*

keishabrown said...

walks, runs are SO not bougie. we need an MF gala of Elton John on Oscar night proportions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

keishabrown said...

RIGHT!?!?!
like does she even HAVE and M in her name?????????

blackprofessor said...

This is a hot mess! Any chance Vince is snipped?? The world doesn't need anymore bootleg kids.

lawsoncomp said...

I am supposed to be on my way elsewhere, but I have to stop and say WHOOP, THERE IT IS! Smacked down at the Whole Foods! I love you 'Chele. I want you on my team if I go to war. That byotch was really lucky to walk away.

keishabrown said...

HOT. DANG.

keishabrown said...

*there goes my babeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Tonda Williams said...

THIS is about TEN degrees of EPIC.FAIL

Tonda Williams said...

CLEARLY Derrick is courageous, but in the words of my BFF..."Bravery, ain't no painkiller"!

So we'll see him screaming like a banshee in the bowels of SEW hell.....

Tonda Williams said...

WHO goes to Whole Foods for cheddar? Skanks that are Fougie....(Fake Ass Bougie)

rozb said...

Nothing says Ratched-A Loser quite like following somebody around in a store trying to claim some imagined victory while gnawing on some common-assed cheddar cheese.

Psssttt...Chele - was she wearing the tacky hot pants outfit? Do you think she thought the "M" was a "W", and Derrick told her it stood for "Wonderful"?

Iced_Coffee_Sweet_Tea_Diva said...

…"I got the man, the house, the bling. And what do you have?"

I rolled my eyes, "You're living in a house I decorated, marrying a man I discarded for pure ratchetassness, and that bracelet you're rocking was picked out for me. You're living my reject life, sweetheart." …

Whole Foods is still finding and sweeping up the shards of SEW’s cracked face. Game, set, match! OneChele for the classy and epic win!! These are some sad, pathetic psychos. TMZ and RadarOnline would swim in their drool for this foursome! Unfortunately, this,was an ending that we saw coming long ago. Won’t be at all surprised to see them in the headlines. Derrick better not eat anything she cooks or serves him. @Cousin Nikki: warn all of the adoption agencies in TX in case she decides that they can still have a family. Better yet – make it a global alert and include animal shelters and pet retailers!!

CaliGirlED said...

Awww Nikki!!! We don't get to pick our family do we?

Reads4Pleasure said...

The problem is if she has kids, DFKN will always have to wonder if they're his or Vince's because we all know Vince is still hittin' that, right?

Pure Choco said...

How brave is rampant stupidity?

Pure Choco said...

How brave is rampant stupidity?

Pure Choco said...

Jesus be a tree of learning for ALL these dumb asses!

Joycelyn Curry said...

This is so true. My dad always says both of his older children are fighters I just use words instead of fists. I'm 5'3 and was never one for a physical fight. But my tongue is as deadly as a machete when I want it to be.

Pure Choco said...

I still can't hear that song without laughing!

Mykeia said...

Ewwwww, stop! You ain't right! Ewww, you ain't right! I am dead here on the floor at work! This is going to be my last day! Tears in my eyes!

Shay said...

I would have paid TOP DOLLAR to hear the convo that followed when she got home! His balls are so far up inside him they are actually his nipples. Is it just me when I imagine that she is wearing that skankarrefic triangle top she wore when you met her? In my mind that's all she wears. Didn't DFKN allude that the bracelet was waiting for you if you so wanted it? Then he gives it to ol' girl? Yeah, Chele, you dodged a bullet there.

Don't you love introducing stuff to your mom and the next thing you know, she's got you running hither and yon to Whole Foods and various specialty and gourmet food stores for items. I've got to drive 30 minutes out of my way to buy haricot verts! Can't you just eat plain string beans!

And I am so waiting for the opportunity to use Pyrric Victory in my next conversation.

Untouched Jewel said...

***SUPER DEAD TO THE Nth POWER!***Nikki, Lawd Jesus, Mary and Josesph! It's enough that Chele had my dyin @ 8 in the morning reading this post, but you put the nail in the coffin, dropped the casket 6 feet under, then put the dirt on it. DROTFL. I can't even begin to say how funny this was. I went as far as to tell my mother about the post, and she was like if I was SEW, I'd be scared to go back to Derrick after cheating on him twice and on top of that with his best friend (based on the premise that there would be The Big Payback). But golly, this was the best LOL moment I've ever had in life! My stomach is still hurting from the laughter, and I had to take off my glasses (twice) to wipe the tears of laughter from my face.

Untouched Jewel said...

"Hood chick would've body checked her into the cheddar display and ganked the bracelet."

Trey, I'm laughing at the image alone in my head. LOL.

michaeldavis said...

"your face is CRACKED, and on the ground" - School Daze

BrendaKay said...

How is it that a woman wouldn't notice that the expensive charm bracelet given to her by her man has an initial on it which doesn't represent her name or a charm which has no significance whatsoever to anything of interest to her? Call me shallow, but I would have been questioning Mr. McNoBalls within seconds of him handing me that bracelet.

I know the power of forgiveness first hand in my own life. But taking back a man who I had caught in our bed with another woman, most especially someone who I considered to be my friend? Nope. Not happening. Not in this life.

McNoBalls and Ho's Around A Lot definitely deserve each other.

Chele, you're inner b*tch didn't come out. Oh no... You went straight "Classy" on her and shot her down in a way that hurt worse than if you had taken off your purple pumps and beat the pee out of her. :-)

Jamie Wesley said...

Me either.

CaliGirlED said...

"His balls are so far up inside him they are actually his nipples."...Said I wasn't going to comment anymore, DAYUM!!!

mojitochica said...

She probably thought M was for "Marriage." Too bad she missed the meaning of the purple pump and pen! She obviously doesn't read this blog, though I doubt this broad reads much of anything...

Why am I not surprised DFKN was dumb enough to regift a customized bracelet? SMDH!

mojitochica said...

This broad is dumber than a box of rocks. Who stalks folks throughout the grocery store and picks a fight with a writer? People with wicked pens tend to have wicked tongues to match.

I consider you extremely lucky to have found out about DFKN's RMDBS early. You have definitely dodged a bullet with that one. The dude apparently thrives on unnecessary drama, and he'll enjoy it with SEW e_O

Did he at least remove the purple pump charm? Oh and were you wearing your new purple shoes? ;o)

Melzie said...

yep, you have to do the accompanying hand gesture while saying that...lol

mojitochica said...

He ain't smart to regift. It was inevitable the original recipient was going come out from someone be it from dumbass himself, Vince, or someone else in his family that can't stand her. I am sure he never thought it would come OneChele LMAO forever!

mojitochica said...

I bet that nutcase followed OneChele go into Whole Foods.

mojitochica said...

Because Riverdance has a lots kicking and stomping, and you surely did kick and stomp all over her ego :o) She just got a fine lesson in "Don't start none, won't be none."

mojitochica said...

LOL, I very much doubt he got dinner that night!

Paul on Ice said...

Perhaps the M now stands for Maybe. Maybe she'll cheat again, Maybe she won't?
Or "Mayhem" like in the commercials?
"Marriage" so she'll remember her status?
I "Mean" it this time?

mojitochica said...

The sequels will be tap back after tap back!

Amw555 said...

Falling out over such cluelessness...and her pyrite-plated nerve, "I win." My foot in your tail you win... *stamps foot* Why do I want to hop a flight to TX?

Moving on, you're too classy for such nonsense. Don't push a Bouge...I'm sure she's learned that lesson well.

C Nelson said...

He probably wanted kids with you and had the plain good sense to set that aside when he knew he was going to be settling for her. Lord knows, I always wanted kids, but I dated some men in my life that made me run for the birth control too.

rozb said...

Mr. McNo Balls! I need to be resuscitated!

rozb said...

Balls...nipples!!! I can't breathe!

rozb said...

Today's post STILL has me coming back after my actual bed time! Nikki - Bougie blessings to you and your family! How in the world is she gonna show up at family functions and stuff?!? BTW - does SEW know about the Snip-Snip? You know how some females of the chickenhead subspecies might do - try to pull a Maury Show guest thing and claim Derrick is the daddy and stuff.

Check back with us sometime...I'll bring the Purple People Eaters!

rozb said...

If Vince found her, and her name is "Stormy", then she is a Skripper. A more skanky and clueless version of a stripper.

GammasWorld said...

Note to self: do not EVER get in a verbal war with a writer.

Neck roll, eye roll, hand on the hip and all -- "you told her".

Iced_Coffee_Sweet_Tea_Diva said...

Remember the last call McNoBalls (love.that!) made to 'Chele? SEW had found the bracelet in the box, and didn't it touch off an argument? Twisted! They're just TWIST-ED!! I'd be moving my money from whatever bank they are working for - not now, but right now!!

CorettaJG said...

O.M.G.

rozb said...

My last comment, I promise. SEW heard that Whole Foods sold all kinds of food. She was looking for Winky Dinky Hoe Cakes, because as you know, hoes gotta eat too!

BrendaKay said...

Rozb, I need you to get in contact because you owe a new keyboard....

I was sipping on some grape juice (don't laugh, it's good for the heart), scrolled up, read your comment and juice went flying. :-)

Matter of fact, I was laughing so damn hard it took me 15 minutes to clean the mess. :-)

bkbisous said...

My goodness. I always forget that you read the blog, Nikk.



And I'm so glad that you do.

J. Jackson said...

Chele, you're a good one. Let's just say some of my fam in Calif would be on their way to Charlotte. I. Don't. Play. For the simple fact that she said, she "won", yet she doesn't know the type of cheese her fiance likes just shows how shallow their relationship is.

If she's over the age of 30 (which I think she is) she's doing way too much. That's high school stuff. Oh and I like this, "You're living in a house I decorated, marrying a man I discarded for pure ratchetassness, and that bracelet you're rocking was picked out for me. You're living my reject life, sweetheart." This.Right.Here. When she started with the fake crocodile tears I would've told her to save that for when he divorces her. *rolls eyes* Women like SEW makes me sick.

Oh and you know she asked him about the bracelet, and he probably lied and said, "Oh that was for you baby." She's #losing (sorry I had to do it) LOL.

As far as winning the battle, yet losing the war. When I was younger, I thought that was stupid. You should win at everything. Now, as I've grown, I see that sometimes you're not meant to learn the war. Sometimes you learn the valuable lesson by losing... If that makes sense.

SpkTruth2Pwr said...

The stuff movies are made of. Please let me know if you decide to do your own reality show.

Tonda Williams said...

It takes a lot of heart to be as STUPID as he is......

Natasha Hunter said...

LOL...Not "her station"... I'm jackin'

J B said...

That's her club name. We all have them.

Just Ang said...

Stormy? Vegas?

Please...no more. I cant take it....

Now earlier I said "Someone please push DFKN closer to the cross bc he needs some blessings in life STAT!"

-Ive changed my mind. Fam needs a Common Sense Intervention!

rikyrah said...

whew....so glad you rid yourself of that drama, Boug.

a complete takedown in Whole Foods...doesn't get much wickeder than that....LOL

rikyrah said...

ok, this is just funny as hell. worth reading the comments section to find out these nuggets.

Ametia said...

BWA HA HA HA BRILLIANT, Bougie!

Nadette said...

OH MY DAMN. Michelle--yes, I'm calling you by your gubnent--if there were ever I time that I wish our friendship in my head was real, now would be the time, so we could discuss this on the phone! oh em gee, I just can't--did she REALLY go there? I don't even know where to start--for starters I don't think I've ever been so disappointed in a grown man in my life--way to #FAIL, DFKAN. I'm flabbergasted. And he gave that trollop YOUR bracelet?? WDDTA?

And as for SEW--but really?? She had the nerve to spew all that venom out of her mouth and not expected to get CHECKED? Oh my word, I really would have paid GOOD MONEY to witness this interaction.

I have to say, you played this situation so very well. You cut her off at the knees, and didn't break a sweat.

oooooh chile....oooh chile...

T.M. Mathews said...

This...was...classic! That broad was delusional as hell! *smh*

Leo the Yardie Chick said...

Re: SEW - How old is this trick, 15?! "I win." Give me a damn break!

Re: Derrick - He's marrying her again AFTER catching her with Vince? 'Dumbshyt' is too good for him.

Leo the Yardie Chick said...

Please share with the class after you do! Sorry to show my nosy side, but I had a stressful week and THIS is the funniest/saddest story that's ever been told. As John said below, this is better than any movie that's out now. Hollywood couldn't copy (cuz that's all they do these days!) a film with all this comedy and drama!

CPL said...

Michele, I found out about this post because Rikyrah linked to it at JJP.

SEW brought a plastic knife to a gunfight. Mad props, cause I would not have been that nice in a beatdown.

Your story reminded of of ex-cop boyfriend who decided he was more comfortable with a crackhead than with an educated sista who owned her own place and had a career.

Fortunately, when I ran into her in Needless markup, she had the common sense to go another way when she saw me, and the x did, too.

CPL said...

All due respect, one assumes that SEW can read.

OneChele said...

Much love to JJP!

Mayhaps Ms. SEW will run the other way should our paths cross again. ;-)

Only the Tall said...

Very classy of you, Chele, but what really disturbs me here is that now they're letting ghetto-stank chics in WHOLE FOODS?! I know there's a recession going on in the States, but this is going to far. Shouting your name in WHOLE FOODS?! Clearly, she was out of her element.

keishabrown said...

LMAO!!!!!
RIGHT!?!?!?!

Alvin Milton said...

i just wonder if you were workin' the neck roll when u told her about the bracelet. Thats comedy at its finest. Applause to u for the wordplay. Sometimes people think they got it but they ain't got it tho... and u let her know who had it.

Under the Mush said...

It's amazes me how much a woman can get wrapped up in a man so much so that she looses all sense of self and her dignity in the same instance. I could just imagine her expression after you dropped that bomb her. And deeper that that is that saddening fact that she's probably with him now even as I write this smh

Christie
http://underthemush.com

RC Turi said...

Yesssssssssssssssss! #FTMFW!!!

AndreaPlaid said...

"Whole Foods is the devils work."
bwahahahahahahahahaha...and amen.

AndreaPlaid said...

"Tacky heffa trying to dine above her station."

This is why I stay hanging at BnB.

AndreaPlaid said...

Dunno, J. I think ol' dude told SEW the "M" stood for his made-up name for her coochie (that she more than likely thought was the source of her alleged "win.") The other charms she probably rationalized as simply being pretty. o_O

AndreaPlaid said...

Wait...and insulted Chele by calling her by the *wrong* name!

Foolishness, thy acronym is SEW.

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