Welcome to Questions for the Fellas Week (the remix). The ladies came guns a-blazing to the table. Gents, don't shoot the messenger. I'm just relaying what I was asked. And I received no less than fifteen questions revolving around the dishonesty of menfolk. Ruh-roh. Take a look at a few:
- Why do men lie?
- Do all men lie?
- Why can't men just be honest?
- What's wrong with a man just being straight forward?
- How do I know if a man is telling me the truth?
And so it went. In the interest of fact-finding, I sat down with two men: @DavidLChase (David) and his friend @AnotherWord43 (Trey) and asked the question – Do all men lie?
David – All people lie. Men tend to get caught more often. Maybe women are more suspicious or have better dishonesty radars.
Trey – I'm offended by the question. No, I'm lying. Yes, all men lie. We tell small lies just to keep the drama to a minimum. Women tell big lies to keep from getting cut. There's a difference.
Me (to Trey) – Tell me you're joking.
Trey – I could tell you that, but I'd be lying.
Me (to David) – I hate your friend.
David – He has that effect on women.
Me (to both) – Seriously, you both are telling me that all men lie about everything? That's what you want the takeaway to be?
Trey – Oh, are these life lessons for the ladies? Let me think. Umm, no – men don't lie about everything all the time. But we own the victimless lie.
Me (blinking) – I'm sorry? What exactly is a victimless lie?
Trey – "Yes, I took the trash out" "No I wouldn't do Kim Kardashian" "Yes, those jeans look good" "Sure it's okay if we watch The Notebook again" "No I didn't see her boobs spilling out of that dress, I was looking at you, baby" Victimless lies.
Me (to David) – Are you cosigning this?
David (shifting uneasily) – I plead the fifth.
Me – That's not allowed. We're going to need an answer.
David – I'm not sure there's such a thing as a victimless lie. I mean telling a woman she looks good in jeans when she obviously doesn't just hurts humanity.
Me (rolling my eyes) – Why not just shoot straight?
Trey – Honesty can be brutal. Let's say I meet a chick –
Me – A woman.
Trey – Fine, yes, a woman. Let's say I met a woman online and we're vibin' with the chatter and all. Then I met her in person and she's a total dog.
Me – Unattractive.
Trey – You're like the political correctness police. Sorry. Yes, she's very unattractive. I can't say, sorry I'm no longer interested because the ugly stick beat you down. That would be mean.
Me – Not to mention shallow.
Trey – Touché. But you see what I mean. It's easier to cut the meeting short and then send a text saying I met someone else I like better.
Me – Why can't you just say the chemistry isn't there? It's a way to say that the attraction wasn't there without being mean or lying.
Trey – Can I use that? Cuz truthfully, I don't always stop and think of the nicest way to put things, I focus on the end result. If I say "A" then I can do "B" – and I want the easiest most direct route from A to B. Men don't like complicated. If it's quick and easy, that's 90% the way they'll go.
David – Okay, I have to disagree on that one. I'm a talker. I prefer to take a little extra time and think about what I'm saying before I say it. If I do tell a lie, it's for a good reason.
Me – And what is a good reason to lie?
David – To spare someone's feelings or to cover someone until the right time to tell the truth comes along.
Me – The right time to tell the truth?
David – C'mon now. It's not always the best time to blurt out the bald truth to people. Sometimes tongues need to be held for a minute. And let's be honest, there are a few things all of us could probably take to the grave and feel okay about that.
Trey – See, David has to qualify things and make them complicated. Go with my victimless theory. It's catchy.
Me (shaking head) – Thank you, gentlemen for sharing. I'll present this to BougieLand and see what they think.
Trey – Whoa, like a critique?
David – Man, listen. Wait and see.
Trey – Am I going to regret this? Could I get voted off the island? I just got here.
Me – Ha! Let's find out…
BougieLand, what say you? Does everybody lie? Do men lie more often? Are women just better at detecting lies? Is there any such thing as a "victimless lie"? Do you believe that there is a good reason to lie? Are there some things we should just take to the grave? Do you think omitting details is the same as a lie? What do you think about what David and Trey had to say? You know the rules: Answer one, none or any number in between. Share your thoughts. The floor is yours…