Continuing our follow-up this week, who remembers Elise? Caught her husband playing tonsil hockey with another woman in a Buckhead Bistro. He said it was "Just a kiss and kissing isn't cheating." All hell broke loose in the comments and then I followed up with a post about flirting - when does it cross a line? More hell in the comments section. As a matter of fact, the good folks of BougieLand made Jayme so angry, she added a whole section to her pre-marital counseling sessions on flirting.
Anyway, I caught up with Elise a week ago. Initially, she asked Ben to move out. They don't have children and she said she'd had enough. He left. But since then, he has moved back in and they have decided to stay together. I asked if she moved him back in with stipulations; i.e., no more random broads that you may or may not be cheating with. She said, "No, I didn't want to draw up rules. I just wanted things to get back to normal. I know you're disappointed and don't agree with my decision, but it's for the best. It's what I want. When I took these vows, I said forever. I have to respect the ring."
Well, I wasn't disappointed in her. I was disappointed for her. She and Ben have been on this roller coaster ride for so long, I feel she's not getting the best that marriage has to offer. But what do I know? Can I be just brutally honest here? Of course I can... I think she's staying with Ben because it's the easy thing to do.
To me, it's almost as if she's just decided to turn a blind-eye to whatever Ben does as long as he stays and her life stays the same.
Then again, I don't know her heart. Maybe Ben is the love of her life. Lord KNOWS I've done some straight stupid stuff for the guy I considered to be the love of mine. Put up with more shiggity out of "love" than I care to ever (forever, ever) admit to. So maybe I could walk into a restaurant and see my husband passionately kissing a woman and get past it. Maybe I could separate from him eight (8!) times in twelve years and keep going back for more.
Um... no I couldn't. Not at this point in life. When you've been to the circus a few times, you just don't put up with the clown shiggity that easily. But that's my life. If she's happy, all I can do is be happy for her. But Ben will get the laser beam side-eye of bouge forever more out of me.
What say you, BougieLand? Could you be in a marriage with someone you suspected was on the creep? Isn't fidelity, honesty and trust part of "respecting the ring" too? This one has been a bit perplexed, I'd love to hear your opinion. The floor is yours...