Monday, March 21, 2011

Bougie Bachelorette Chronicles - Episode 7: More than the chase?

So one of the things that happens when you've been dating for a while (as in decades people) is that you start to get a little... jaded. Okay not jaded but you definitely start feeling like you've heard it, seen it, met it, dated it and kicked it to the curb all before. It unfortunately causes you to enter into a date with the attitude, "Why are you different and how long is it going to take to figure out what's wrong with you?"

Now, add to this the fact that while I am by no means a celebrity (nor do I ever, ever, ever want to be); people do read my books and blogs and tweets and feel like they know me. Which to some degree, you probably do. So the risk of dating someone who reads the blog and follows me on Twitter is - what kind of preconceived knowledge does he think he has AND how's he dealing with all my baggage?

Such is the case with Le Ninja Nouveau (we'll call him Lenny). Full disclosure, he's been asking me out for a while. I kept saying no until one day I said, "Oh what the hell" - yes, I was just about that gracious. Before he could even order an iced tea, I listed all reasons why we were going to be "just friends" and leave it at that. He laughed and said sure, he could always use more friends.

There followed a series of innocent friendly happenstances. Did I have a minute for coffee? He was at Home Depot around the corner from me, did I have a second to give him an opinion on ceiling fans? He just happened to have extra tickets to a concert did me and a friend want to join him and a friend? New wine spot around the corner, did I care to have a sip? Just calling to say hi, how's the writing going? Just watching this show you were talking about, what did you think of tonight's episode?

Me with my fingers on the keyboard and head full of character development all day was just kinda rolling with the flow. Finally a few weeks ago, I squinted at Lenny in the grocery store and asked, "Oh, are you trying to date me?"

He put the rosemary Parmesan bread in the basket and said, "I am dating you, I was just waiting for you to figure it out."

Hmpfh. First of all, that's a great line. I'm straight jacking that for a book. Secondly, I have no desire to live blog/tweet whatever my next whatever is. To which he said, "So don't." 

And then I got to thinking, what if this isn't about me at all? What if he's just interested to see if I am what I blog? What if this is just all about the chase? So I asked him.

After he finished rolling around on the ground laughing he said, "I generally don't chase women. They kinda chase me." Healthy. Ego. And yet he continued, "There are far less complicated women to chase if that's what I was about. I have a lot on my plate right now and I'm choosing to put in the time and the effort for you. Not your image, not your persona, you." Then he shrugged, "But you can always allow yourself to be caught and see what happens next."

Clever. Yesterday I had a delivery to my home. In the package was a ridiculously gorgeous pair of strappy purple sandals. The note said, "Maybe it'll be harder for you to run in these."
Like I said, clever. We'll just have to see. The shoes though... me all day - points scored.


Moving on - This prompted a discussion between me and some friends (both male and female): how do you know when it's about more than the game of catch and capture and is something really real? The answers varied: It's the difference between just having fun and really caring. What difference does it make? You know when you know. And my contribution: Time will tell.

What say you, Bougieland? How do you know when it's more than a game? Let's hear those opinions...

120 comments:

maureen palmer said...

Since my car died on me and I'm waiting on a mechanic, I will bring 3-legged stool and sit right here in the middle of BnB. I can use the information; not jaded, but finding it hard to decipher intentions.

Jubilance said...

I had to chuckle at your "oh, are you trying to date me?" moment - I had a similar epiphany last year when I realized that an old friend liked me & was trying to make something happen. I felt slow!

I know it's more than game when the man makes it personal. I'm not the average woman who is into flowers/candy/candlelight/etc, and a man who can figure out what I'm into & engage in those things/activities with me scores major points. Another sign that it's more than game for me, is truly listening to what I've said & then acting on it. For example, hearing me mention a particular show I wanted to see in a casual way, and then picking up tickets because he knows I want to go, without me mentioning it again.

BTW, love the shoes! :-)

Reads4Pleasure said...

Awww, I'm all giddy on the inside for you, or maybe I'm just gassy, who knows? Love the shoes!

Lakechia A. Toombs said...

Is is too simple to say it's no longer a game, when one person asked "What is this?" and the other person gives a pretty straight-forward, honest answer with supporting actions they both can agree on?
Personally, too many actions and behaviors follow the "Wild Kingdom" play book of dating. I've learned a long time ago that's it's easier to remove an preconceived notions or expectations with engaging (yes, engaging, it's like football in them streets of dating) and just go with the flow of having fun and learning about someone.

Michele said...

Maybe this is my jaded side speaking but for men isn't it ALWAYS about the chase/game?

David Parrish, Jr.(Inkognegro) said...

It is always about the chase. Even for the good guys.

Its ONCE the chase is over that Folks look around and see what's what.

But...Dude bought you some shoes? *radar goes off extra loud*

blackprofessor said...

I like his approach - subtle but sweet and thoughtful! We will have to see but I am open to being pleasantly surprised with you, LOL!!

I think you know it is more than a game when a man shows you his heart and it is full of good stuff like humility, honesty, good character, etc. Should that happen, there is no game.

rozb said...

Umm...the shoes are ridiculously gorgeous!

Sometimes it is best to let it just happen. Stop analyzing every tic, have fun along the way, and make you some memories!

I take it you wore the shoes even while doing chores around the house. 'Cause I would be wearing them all day...just sayin'. And had the nerve to be wearing matching nail polish! LOL! Yes!!!

OSHH said...

Cute story with shoes to match!
I like his confidence and style(so far)= charming +clever.
I think of Pepe' Le Pew, funny how one minute he was chasing, in the next, being chased LOL.

Natasha Hunter said...

"Le Ninja Nouveau' -lol, that's cute.

Ok, ok... I like how Mr. Lenny's playing his cards so far. Best wishes on that, and I think your decision to be mumsy on it is a good one. I don't think you ever know if it's a game or not until you just know... or if you jab him and he's nursing his wounds instead of being prepared with a nice combo. :)

Have fun!

Grace said...

I'm going to read the answers and learn something. And oh - I need the shoes.

Jason P said...

It's about the chase until it's not.

Steve said...

*clears throat* Who skipped in line? Man! Gotta told folks if you were having auditions.

In my opinion, it's not always about the chase, it's about the catch. What happens then tells all.

Just_A_Thought1218 said...

Ha! Great line Lenny, great line!

And, great shoes. This is a very good beginning.

Now, to the matter at hand. I think you just know. Each encounter is different, and as you go through the getting to know you motions and the first few dates, you look up and realize that this person - and what you have with them - is nice. Not nice in that "he's okay to spend time with but eh, I wouldn't think twice if he dropped out the picture" way, but nice. Easy, drama free, enjoyable, fun, all of that.

ConvertingMe said...

"I am dating you, I was just waiting for you to figure it out." <--- Gangsta. Praise is due to Le Ninja Nouveau for the line and the shoes.

Page Bartlett said...

The shoes are hot. Points on that alone. The thing with the chase/game question is that you just have to wait it out. Like you said, time will tell, just enjoy the ride (and the shoes) in the meantime.

William Martin said...

One thing about Ninja Nouveau reading the blog,etc- who else would've known to get you those shoes?
As for me I like the chase, that's the "getting to know you" "will she/won't she" phase. Nothing run with the chase. As long as no one runs right after the catch.

kjnetic aka Peter Parker said...

i guess it's part of 'the chase' nowadays... *scratches head and takes notes*

OneChele said...

Great answer, when someone takes the time to individualize and make it about you that's a good sign.

OneChele said...

Sending waves of positive energy to your wounded wheels.

OneChele said...

Cray-zee.

OneChele said...

LOL at Wild Kingdom!

OneChele said...

Good answer!

OneChele said...

Ha! All purple everything. Yes, I wore those joints with yoga pants to get the mail, cook dinner, wash laundry - I was fly girl!

OneChele said...

*fist bump* for the "so far" Um-hmm.

Penny said...

Chele, how did he know your shoe size? That is info that most folks don't have. He didn't just buy a present, but he seemed to do a little extra digging to find out the right size. Points for that! :)

Tonda Williams said...

How do you know?

You know when you "KNOW".

Exhale and enjoy the journey to "KNOWING". There are laughs to be shared and lessons to be learned along the way....YOU will know where you are when you arrive..

Smooches~
T~

thinklikeRiley said...

Lenny with the pimp move. BTW, those shoes ain't for you. They're for him.
My man.

Jennifer said...

I like what I'm reading.... yay OneChele. Put on those pretty shoes and enjoy yourself

I think you know its more than game with time. Gotta give the man a chance to prove his intent rather than sit with held-breath for him to mess up, and pounce and say "I KNEW YOU WAS NO GOOD." lol

datdudeincali said...

Once had a woman tell me, if you want a thank you - buy a woman flowers. If you want a kiss, buy a woman chocolate. But if you want her heart, buy her shoes. Of course this doesn't work for everybody - I just thought it was an appropriate story to share. Are you going to eventually tell us who it is? Just to satisfy curiosity?

TreyCharles said...

Bruhs uppin' the game.

GrownAzzMan said...

But he knew her size doe...hmmm...

L.P. said...

Two claps for Le Ninja Nouveau!!! Those shoes are fierce. :)... and he seems clever. Score! :D

Reecie said...

great post, I think his approach was sweet, and pretty smooth. and love the shoes!

L.P. said...

Stop analyzing every tic, have fun along the way, and make you some memories!

This, and then some. FTW.

Your girl "C" said...

My thought. Lovin it!

SingLikeSassy said...

Girl, stop doing all that thinking and just chill out.

David Parrish, Jr.(Inkognegro) said...

Buying shoes ain't no part of no chase. Buying shoes is part of the
captivity. I'm a bit miffed by the whole thing. Dude breaking out Madden
cheat codes, trying to tilt the playing field. No bueno.

Mr. Skyywalker said...

I can't be the only one to say your pedicure game is on point. Just enjoy for now.

OneChele said...

Ha! I'll try the jab to the ribs.

OneChele said...

You may pry them from my cold dead hands. ;-)

OneChele said...

deep.

OneChele said...

LOL @ auditions. C'mon now.

OneChele said...

You know I'm all about the "drama free"

OneChele said...

Quite gangsta.

OneChele said...

Good point.

OneChele said...

Excellent point.

OneChele said...

Is that kind of like "no matter where you go, there you are"?

OneChele said...

*snickers* Well said.

OneChele said...

The way to a woman's heart is through shoes? Not bad.
Will I eventually say who it is? Umm, I don't know. I doubt it.

Tonda Williams said...

PRECISELY! I knew there were several reasons I love you...great mind love great quotes!

No matter where you ARE, there YOU are....

btw-His wit and charm *****stars #justsayin

CaliGirlED said...

First let me say CUDDOS on his taste in shoes and his cleverness with the sly comebacks!!!

Now THIS RIGHT HERE should have been THE question of the week, last week, with all five days given to the discussion/answer!....If Chele is not a "celebrity (nor do I ever, ever, ever want to be); people do read my books and blogs and tweets and feel like they know me.", then I am truly what we would call a nobody. That being said, because of my "nonchalantness", stubbornness and uniqueness, I always find myself the next man's "challenge to be conquered". Which leaves me to ponder the question, as Chele puts it, "How do you know when it's about more than the game of catch and capture and is something really real?"

I will now read the comments. LOL

CaliGirlED said...

Hmmm interesting answer, but I have had that used as a "check mate" if you will in the game.

CaliGirlED said...

In my best Sinclair voice, "Woo woo woo, woo woo woo".

Tonda Williams said...

LOVE this... no sure why, I just DO!

Thanks!

CaliGirlED said...

Talk about paying attention! I know she's mentioned it before, but DAMN if I can tell you the size! Size 8 would be my best guess if some $$ was on the table. LOL!!!

Tonda Williams said...

You may now scatter my ashes...........D.E.A.D @ dude breaking out Madden cheat codes, trying to tilt the playing field......

BUT-gotta LOVE a man with the skill and foresight to create NEW plays, hell a new GAME! Get it Le Ninja Nouveau

CaliGirlED said...

I can go with that. Until you realize that the heart he showed you was the one he knew you would fall for rather than the one that actually exists.

Damn is there a deeper word than jaded?!! Sista girl needs some intervention! LOL!!! (On the real, I know there are some good men out there, I just have yet to come across that one that's good for me).

CaliGirlED said...

Yeah I peeped game on those toes too! LOL

Ok, so that's what I need to do! Cause right now I'm flickin Ninjas off at the first sign of shiggity! I may have overlooked a few analytical moments, but when they make say, "Wait a minute who are you?", I'm out!

CaliGirlED said...

My experience has been that after the catch, the thrill is gone and they no longer feel they have to do what it took to get me to keep me. Le Damn Sigh!

CaliGirlED said...

Ok Sassy, but I know I can't be the only one thinking, "Pimp-Playa" move in full effect! Don't get me wrong, he could be the sincerest of sincere, but then there's the other extreme. Which leads to, "It's the difference between just having fun and really caring."...Personally I've had enough "only-fun" to last a lifetime.

David Parrish, Jr.(Inkognegro) said...

I'm not privy to Bouge's feet, but I doubt the information is highly
classified. In fact Im sure if I spent as much time with her as he had...i
could probably guess her size pretty well.

Penny said...

"Until your realize the heart he showed you was the one he knew you would fall for rather than the one that actually exists." Whoa!!

L.P. said...

They shouldn't have to do what they did to "catch" you so to speak... The relationship should naturally move to the next step with appropriate moves for said next step. Dating is but one small part of relationshipdom... The real McCoy (and the fun part if you ask me) is the actual relationship-ness of it all. When you both grow.

FreeBlackMan said...

This. Right. Here. Ms. Tonda. Can't be mad if dude figured out the recipe for the secret sauce, he should use it.
I don't know Inkognegro, I think I'm smelling some hate coming from your direction.

L.P. said...

I would say learn to trust your instincts... Your real ones, not the ones we manufacture as we go along... Your real gut feelings... not the butterflies but the real ones that make you pause and listen. If those have been scrambled too hard, just chill out and enjoy taking one step at the time. Life is not a chess game and figuring out the opponent next move might not be necessary.... If it ends up being a bust, charge it to the game... If not, enjoy it.

FreeBlackMan said...

I'm a foot man too? Polish all shiny. Lucky Lenny.

FreeBlackMan said...

Was just thinking this.

David Chase said...

I get not going into something mindlessly but on the other hand there is over-thinking. No one knows until they know.

ASmith said...

Honestly, brain space is currently too limited for me to process a thoughtful response to your questions (#gradschoolstruggle), but I must applaud Lenny in a public fashion.

::applause::

JaymeC said...

Not too mention reallllll easy on the eyes. I got the chance to meet the man this weekend and when she's done with him, I'm going to ditch the hubs and run away with him. It's all been arranged. ;-)

JaymeC said...

Chele wears an 8.5 as do I so if anyone wants to contribute to the shoe collection, donations are welcome. I tried to steal these and she body-blocked me.

michaeldavis said...

I would say Pimp-playa move as well...keep one eye on him

Jamie Wesley said...

Today's life lesson: If you want something to happen, make it happen. Kudos to Lenny for driving that home.

Michele, if he's a fraud (which I hope he's not), then he's a fraud. Obsessing about it isn't going to change his character. For better or for worse, he is who he is. And you like what you know so far, right? So sit back, relax, enjoy the ride and see where you end up.

SingLikeSassy said...

Oh, it's a pimp player move alright, but I would handle him like he was handling me and enjoy myself until it wasn't fun any more.

Hannington said...

Sigh. Women can be so lucky at times. Ya'll don't have to worry about chasing; you just sit back and select from the guys that chase you. Wish girls would do that more often to guys. But anyways, he seems like an interesting guy. Innovative, that's for sure.

Tonda Williams said...

JaymeC-hmmm I have a hunch, but will simply stay tuned and see how it plays out.

Chele-I suspect that you ALREADY know, the real question is are you READY?

CaliGirlED said...

LOL!!! You two are too funny!...Hey I was real close on that shoe size. *thinks about going to Vegas*

CaliGirlED said...

I hear you, and that was good! My problem is when that first question/instinct is raised I tend to think I'm being too quick to dismiss. Then I look back after the fact and realize I should have stopped right there afterall. But with age comes impatience for bullshiggity, so they're not lasting long enough to cause too much damage anyway. LOL

CaliGirlED said...

I disagree here. I believe in consistency. If you took me to nice restaurants when you were "catching me", then those nice restaurants should still be in rotation once you have caught me. If you opened the door when you were catching me, then continue to open my door. If you served cocoa regularly, then we have to discuss when the need arises to ration it out. If you washed your a$$ when you were...(hahaha just thought I'd throw that in for good humor)! But my point is don't stop doing the good stuff! It may taper off a bit, but don't just STOP! And this is for men and women. Honestly, this is why people have trouble in marriages.

CaliGirlED said...

Ok so who's taking side bets? LOL

CaliGirlED said...

And there it is there!!!

CaliGirlED said...

*coughs* "red" *coughs coughs* "6-1/2"...These allergies ain't nothin nice! ;-)

David Parrish, Jr.(Inkognegro) said...

Ehh. Maybe it's just me, but I find a stage where folks are asking "are you
trying to date me?" a bit early to be buying shoes

But Maybe I am tripping...i doubt it, but maybe.

Tonda Williams said...

I concur-my #1 pet peeve is INCONSISTENCY...

keishabrown said...

HE SENT YOU SHOES?!?!!?!
......
speechless...

rozb said...

Chele - I am trying to find the perfect deep eggplant purple blinged-out pumps to go with my wedding gown (still looking for the dress too!) and you get some cute purple shoes in the mail.

*Wishing on a star to the shoe fairy and 6.5 lb. baby Jesus*

Evansaw said...

That's a hard question, but the Shoes are fierce. Go slow, and do a good background check.

Tonda Williams said...

David-I don't think you are tripping, because I understand and in the past would have agreed. I've learned however, to appreciate and value the unconventional.

MY kudos to him for being unconventional and charting his own course.

CaliGirlED said...

Like I said, Pimp-Playa move in full effect! Not hatin, just recognizin....Cause the shoes are banging, her favorite color and her size! If he's full of it, our girl has a gorgeous pair of shoes!

CaliGirlED said...

Dayum David, you ain't tryin to give a brotha no credit! LOL

CaliGirlED said...

LMAO!!!

CaliGirlED said...

Not saying don't do the background check, but don't forget the story about SixNine Dude. They "backed his ground" and knew some of his family/friends. His father was even shocked to know that he had son less than a year old. IJS

David Parrish, Jr.(Inkognegro) said...

Indeed...a lovely parting gift.

David Parrish, Jr.(Inkognegro) said...

It's not the course that alarms me, it's the tempo...history doesn't shine
brightly upon those who go this deep in the playbook this soon.

There are plenty of ways to distinguish and endear yourself without going
HAM in the top of the first inning

J. Jackson said...

Let me say first, LOVE THE SHOES! Lenny gets cool points on that alone.

Anyway, like someone mentioned below, you know when it's more than a chase when the guy pays attention to your personal preferences. I'll admit i'm somewhat jaded, so I'm always skeptical when a guy approaches me because I have the same thoughts, "OK is he REALLY trying to get to know me, or is he trying to run game?"

I've asked my parents (who've been married for 29 years) and my best friend (who's been with her significant other for 10+ years, did I mention I hate her? LOL) how did they know their S.O. was different from the rest, and the answer they gave me was, "I just knew. It's a feeling you can't describe, but you'll know it when they come along." So i'm going to say to you, "You'll know if Lenny (or someone else for that matter) is being real, and not playing games..."

OneChele said...

Hit me up on email with size and price. One of my little known talents, I was a personal shopper in a different life. We'll find the magical shoes in no time.

J. Jackson said...

Wow, Jennifer, have we met? LOL. I swear my best friend told me this a couple of months ago. She told me, "You never give men a chance because you're always looking for the exit." I'll admit she's right. At the first sign of (what I perceive as) trouble, i'm reading to bail. I'll try to give a man a chance, and not hold my breath waiting for him to mess up.

Queen of Me said...

Well color me easy. Dude says what he said and sends the shoes, I'm all in. But that's me - I lead with my heart (and other body parts).

Queen of Me said...

You went straight where I went!

Tonda Williams said...

ok..ok..ok.....There IS something to be said for due course. Allow me to step OFF of "Cloud 999" and recall the man that very recently sent me running to another state. He went HAM at first sight and turned out to be slightly touched (NOT by an angel).

mkay! Imma slow MY roll in leading the cheering section...

CorettaJG said...

I'm feeling some kind of way about him sending shoes.

JohnKinPDX said...

I'm probably King of the Jaded Jubilee Choir right now and I think this is kinda sweet. As Chele has said before, this isn't her first circus, she's not going to be dazzled by the cotton candy and clowns. But I do get why she wants to play this one close, y'all took a nice story about bread and shoes and turned it into an entire semester's worth of Gender Relations 303 debate. Wow.

CorettaJG said...

Hmmm. I may need to ask a couple of questions myself, based on this, I might be being dated while unaware as well.

Dude has some very good lines. But, I feel some kind of way about a guy sending shoes. I just do.

I think I agree with your friend's response that you know by the difference between just having fun and really caring.

David Parrish, Jr.(Inkognegro) said...

Credit where it's sure.

Dude turns a splendid phrase. I just think his pacing is the stuff of red
flags...

tiffanyinhouston said...

Well I'm late but Disqus refuses to allow me to be great! First off, the shoes are hella cute. Secondly, to me it's no longer a game when the man is CRYSTAL clear about his intention as Lenny seems to be. I mean he clearly articulated and verbalized so there would be no misunderstanding about it.

And I don't want you to blog about Lenny anymore. We may wonder, but every part of your life doesn't have to be for our public consumption, despite our collective (me included) nosiness. I want you to enjoy this all to yourself.

Your girl "C" said...

I'm with Tiffany. We in Bougieland love to read the Bacholorette Chronicles but we really don't need to be all up in your business. I'd keep Lenny off-line and enjoy him. He seems like a really nice person. And I LOVE that he saw something he knew you'd appreciate and just sent the gift.

Sarah said...

I'm glad you are seeing somebody or not quite seeing them or whatever this is. It's is spring and time for new beginnings. Have fun :-) And Lenny, if you are reading this, be a good guy and make us proud :-)

GammasWorld said...

I don't know you personally, but just from what I read on the blogs and interacting with you on Twitter, I strongly believe you "just know". He had me with "I am dating you, I was just waiting for you to figure it out". Well not really (I'm older more jaded), but it's a nice, very nice line and put a smile on my face to read. I like Lenny's style. Relax, enjoy, and see where it goes. I'm gonna agree with Tiffany though ... as much as I'd love to follow these here adventures, keep Lenny to yourself for a while (unless some SEW-type-shiggity pops off then all bets are off). And don't be bragging about no more fierce shoes either unless the BnB women are gonna get the hook up.

bougiesis said...

Well said. I must co-sign with Tiffany and C. There is plenty of other stuff for your blog, although I'm comfortable if we pass on any bougiesis stories. The man wins big points for the very Chele shoes and the clever repartee.

CorettaJG said...

Rozb, just FYI. David's Bridal http://www.davidsbridal.com now has a new Vera Wang collection worth viewing and I know people who have had success with designer gowns at http://www.bridecouture.com and http://www.oncewed.com. Also a couple of my faves for reasonably priced gowns are http://watters.com and http://www.morilee.com/bridals/. Happy shopping.

CaliGirlED said...

Good point and time will tell.

David Parrish, Jr.(Inkognegro) said...

Please understand...I'd love nothing better than to have been Chicken Little
up in this piece.

CaliGirlED said...

You bring up a very good point Tiffany. And even if at some point his identity is revealed, the aspects of the relationship need to stay out of the www. Relationships are hard enough as it is without the extra lettuce and tomatoes. *walks off mumbling, "Tiffany is a party-pooper!"* LOL

GrownAzzMan said...

I have o problem with any of this as long as the consistency is reciprocated, ergo if it was flowing locks and Vicky's when you were reeling a brotha in then miss me with the head scarfs and granny pajamas...IJS

CaliGirlED said...

Absolutely GAM, goes both ways! If a woman chases a man in her best "stripper" wear and bedroom tricks, she can't catch him and then expect him accept flannel and missionary. I feel ya!

BrendaKay said...

Late again to the party ~ love the shoes, don't over think everything and keep this budding "friendship" to yourself. Yes, we will all be curious as h*ll, even the Bougie menfolk. :-) But just maybe NOT sharing will keep it special. :-)

C Nelson said...

I'm melting over here (and man, where did he find those shoes? WANT!) We don't need to know everything. Relax, enjoy the journey, and fill us in when you get where it's going.

TheParentsEducator said...

Shoes are definitely on point! LOL Reading other comments (especially first two) and they are right: Relax and Enjoy! That is what I am doing right now.

C Nelson said...

For the record? Still jealous. ;) I finally tracked down the style -- Sofft Reyna -- only to find that we're (of course) into the new season, so no longer available anywhere in my size. I'll have to keep an eye on the manufacturer's site from now on, though -- they do lovely stuff. He has good taste, and you have great luck. :)

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