The Invisible Strings of "What ifs"

I'm glad I'm not the only one who wanted to stand on top of a very tall building with a megaphone and tell 2010 to "Kick Rocks"! Seriously, deuces to that year. We off that. But one of the things I struggle with at year's end is what to throw away and what to bring with me into the new year.

Closet stuff is easy. Twice a year I fling open the closets, if I haven't worn it in two years' time - it's outta here. People are easy: If we are "friends" and we haven't connected via voicemail, email, telephone or text in a year... we are now casual acquaintances. As for the ex-SOs? As of this moment there's only one with the remotest possibility of a do-over and so many things would have to fall into place for that to be viable - it's not worth worrying about right now.

It's the intangible stuff that's hard. Lingering disappointments, resentments, even triumphs and successess... it's hard to determine which things should be filed under "lessons learned" and which things I just need to let go of completely and step to the next.

For the past few months, I was wrestling with a professional situation that wasn't going as expected or needed. Quite frankly, I was appalled at the lack of professionalism and childish whodinkery that so-called "about-their-business" people displayed. Even though I knew I should have cut my losses and run for the hills, I kept trying to make it work. Finally, when my nerves were frayed and I'd asked myself (and 5 other people), "Do I really need this drama?" I nipped the situation in the bud and went another direction. Which turned out to be the direction I should have been going in the first place... Le Sigh.

This, I've found, is a recurring theme of mine now. I have an idea in my head of how things could (or should be) and then forge towards that ideal. Now ten years ago, I was just the opposite. I would get into a situation (a job, a relationship) and at the first sign of shiggity, I bailed. Leaving skidmarks on my way out. Now it appears, I've corrected to the other side of the pendulum. I get attached to the probable outcome and then wait until the entire thing is almost in flames around me before I reach for the extinguisher.

Then when I course correct, I still find myself wondering "what if"... What if I'd done this differently, what if I'd tried that, said something else... I finally have to force myself to shut off my brain and accept what's done is done.

Dr. Jayme (resident brilliant head doc and life coach) calls them invisible strings. As in the puppet dance that is your life, there are still things, people, emotions and memories that yank you this way and that. The only thing to do to regain control - cut the strings.

This, by the way, is why I shan't be accepting the bracelet from Dude Formerly Known as New. The strings. No thank you. I'll either buy it for myself at some point or meet someone that I'd be happy to accept it from... no strings attached.

Thoughts, comments, insights? The floor is yours...