Friday, December 31, 2010

Letting go of 2010...

(New Year, new blog design... had to shake things up)

Breathe in with me now: Inhale. Exhale. Deep cleansing breath and Woo-sah. Relax. Relate. Release. Rinse with adult beverage and repeat. Ready? Okay... let's get ready for 2011. It's our year. We've survived all the laughs, loves, let-downs and losses of 2010 and we're still here to take the journey.

Before we move forward, we have to shake off the past. And as of midnight tonight, 2010 is history people. Don't drag it with you into 2011. You stayed winnin' in 2010? Dig deeper and reach higher in 2011. You struggled and wept in 2010? Dust yourself off and gear up to go again in 2011.

This year I thought I would share with BougieLand the personal Annual Review I give myself. Kind of my own personal performance appraisal. Let's go...

Goals Achieved:

1) First Book Published, Second Book Written
2) Survived year with sanity, friendships (the good ones) and family intact
3) Expanded horizons, met new people, added about 20 new recipes to the Bougie Cookbook

Lessons Learned:

1) All that glitters isn't gold: Okay, sure I knew this but WOW was it reinforced for me in 2010. There were a lot of people, places and situations that looked very glitzy and glam on the surface but turned out to be plasticky pyrite. In 2011, I believe I shall take a closer look checking beneath the surface and trusting my initial instincts.

2) Overthinking sucks: And speaking of trusting my initial intincts...I spent way too long thinking, rethinking, plotting, strategizing, double-checking, thinking one more good time about things that I really kept myself from getting as much done as I could have in 2010. Next year, gut instinct, common sense check and moving forward.

3) Oversharing sucks too: I'm a writer and a blogger but I really don't have share (tweet, blog) every waking moment. It's not that crucial.

Areas for improvement:

1) Significant Other sustainability: self-explanatory
2) Patience: Need more of it
3) Wellness: It's supposed to be "total" and "constant", strive harder.
4) Discipline: Respect a "deadline" for once!

Plans for next year: (notice I don't call these resolutions. Those rarely work out. I just make a plan and work towards actualization)

1) Get outta town: Spent way too much time in my home office at the keyboard (rocking yoga pants and a ponytail). Time to get the suitcases and good pumps out. Let's go!

2) Sell, sell, sell: Those books didn't write themselves, they won't sell themselves either. Step up the marketing and publicity.

3) Dance breaks: Yes, I'm going to regularly schedule dance breaks in my life. There few things that don't look better after a ten minute dance jam to a medley of throwback R&B/rap from the nineties... just sayin'. What? I'm the ONLY one who does this? Moving on...

4) Embrace what comes next: Whatever that may be. Start chanting "Life is a journey and every step is a revelation" over and over again until I believe it. 

5) Forgive and forget: Life is too short to hold onto past wrongs (perceived or actual).

6) Spread the message of Bougenificence to every corner of the earth for total global domination resulting in world peace and the elimination of climate change! [What? Too much?]

Overall, I give myself a B- for the year. The blog rocked, the book sold, the bougie roof is still over my head. The other, er - uh, miscues and missteps? We'll chalk those up to "learning experiences"...

BougieLand, what's one lesson you learned in 2010? What's one thing you hope to do in 2011? Y'all be safe out there... Happy New Year!


superwoman said...

i like this a lot. i had a great year, but it just kinda happened to me...this year, i want to plan and strategize a whole lot more, so plan on being very, very purposefu in 2011 - can't wait! happy new year to you, Chele - and thanks for a fantastic blog! it's made my 2010 great!! sending you good vibes for all your 2011 plans!

Monica said...

As 2010 drives off into the sunset, I look in the rear view mirror and see that I had an okay year. For me, it climaxed with the birth of my son in September. In 2011 I want to incorporate more mom time into my life. I'll call them MAD (Mother's Amnesty Day) days. My life is usually pretty chill these days so I need to work some adventure back into it in the coming year.

Jeannette said...

I 2nd you on the "All That Glitters is Not Gold" realization for 2010. People may "say" they want better but their actions always show otherwise.

MeetCharlieL said...

First - the new site rocks. You do keep it fresh round here.
Second - I'm going to take your Areas for Improvement and multiply them by 12
In 2010 I learned that not everyone knows how to roll with punches, some people just know how to throw them.
In 2011, I'm going to (as you say) Just. Do. Better.

BlackButterfly said...

Like the new look! 2010 is on it's way out and I have found myself wondering how it went by so fast.

My new 2011 plans are to take care of self more, "Be" in the moment and to travel, laugh, write and dance more! I'm looking forward to it... Let's Go!

Hidi said...

Great post. :)

2010 taught me that sometimes things fail and/or explode in your face and it's ok.

2011 I will do a better job of living in the moment: not think about tomorrow & yesterday

Steve said...

2010 showed me that both failure and success are temporary.
2011 - I'm going after what I want.

rozb said...

First - love the new design! Well - in 2010 I learned to not sweat the stuff I have absolutely no control over and that I am smarter than the average bear - I need to act like I know that.

In 2011 I plan to keep trudging on with my edumacation (yeah I said it!) and loving my life as it gets better and better. Oh yeah - and keep laughing, because not everything is that serious people! Happy New Year to all of y'all!

AppleBerryMIA said...

2010 taught me that life is better on the Bougie side of the block ;-)
2011. I'd like to continue to learn and grow

Jason P said...

Fave blog design so far. Great post. 2010 was the "that which did not kill me only made me stronger" year. 2011 - Work smarter not harder.

DesertBlack said...


Thank you for you in 2010 and looking forward to more in 2011.

Lessons learned in 2010:

Be yourself and make sure others know who you are. (minimizes confusion)
Be clear, be specific.
Be grateful that you are still in the game and able to play.
Life is to be lived ... have fun and enjoy!

Thank you for the Bouge!

Jade Star said...

I learned about life and death in 2010.

December 20th, my mother passed after being ill for 6 years. She was finally on life support when the family decided to remove all assistance. Exactly one hour later, my sister and I held our mother's hands as she passed. This was the first time I've witnessed someone dying. I learned that it wasn't about us being sad, it was more about what we could do to help her go the way she wanted. The entire process from her passing, to her burial was about her and her alone.

I also learned people deal with death VERY differently. A few people I considered to be good friends have totally abandoned me and is making me reconsider many of my personal relationships and how I deal with people.

Iced_Coffee_Sweet_Tea_Diva said...

2010 Lesson: Shoulders (mine) are not made to carry every ounce of drama that approaches my life. Return some, share some, deal with the rest.

2011 Hope To Do: Planning 2012 and 2013 trips as rewards for 2011 hustle. Love this new design look. Wishing everyone in BougieLand a safe and Happy New Year's Eve and a new year that finds you crossing the finish lines that you strive towards!

Iced_Coffee_Sweet_Tea_Diva said...

@Jade Star, please accept my condolences. Death is not easy for most people to handle, and those friends that you say abandoned you may actually have been frightened by their thoughts of 'what will I do if/when this happens in my family?' Give yourself and them some distance and some time to address how you feel. I hope that you and your family draw comfort, warmth and strength from your memories of your mother.

OneChele said...

My sincerest condolences. And yes, among the many, many things that suck about death is that you not only have to deal with your grief but the reactions of those around you AND their reaction to your grief. It's jarring and exhausting to say the least. Give everybody six months to settle and then see how you feel. I won't give you any of the clich├ęs about time healing and your mom being in a better place - I found those to be singularly useless when my dad passed. Just get from one day to the next the best you can. Thinking good thoughts for you and yours.

Michele said...

I learned that I am much, much stronger than I've given myself credit for. I learned to look at myself through my own eyes instead of through the eyes of others. I am who I am and I am fabulous.

Happy New Year!

sol_dier said...

This is a great way to lay things out. I hope you don't mind MsBougie, I borrowed your layout for my personal use.
I am a free spirit and love spontaneity which is great, but it hasn't worked for focusing. So, when what you know doesn't work, its time to explore new methods :)

BAnjeeB said...

Dance breaks, yes!!! I need more of these! I'm so glad I found your site. It continues to confirm that the Bougie are everywhere and I appreciate that. While I don't make resolutions either, I am seeing the wisdom of having a plan and I'm making one.

Thanks again and many blessings to you!

maureen palmer said...

I cosign in a major way!

maureen palmer said...

My deepest condolences.

bougiesis said...

Bougie Cookbook - When are we going to see the bougie cookbook?!??

CaliGirlED said...

"2010 was the "that which did not kill me only made me stronger" year. 2011"...Amen to that!!!

CaliGirlED said...

I offer my sincerest condolences to you and your family. Death brings about revelations and changes that are not always easy to accept. I stood by a friend as she and her husband gave the doctor the ok to take their 17 year old daughter off of life support. That kind of pain is almost unbearable. But I love what you said, "The entire process from her passing, to her burial was about her and her alone."...I agree with Chele to give it some time to let things settle and see how you feel.

CaliGirlED said...

In 2010 I learned that I am nothing without God but that with Him I can do what seems impossible to me. (It was a HARD lesson yall!) I also learned not to allow myself to be forced into things that I really don't want to do, especially friendships. If it's not good for me, I'm out!

In 2011 I plan to continue on my path of Continuous Improvement. The specific areas for this year are, giving, helping and controlling my tongue.

I'm definitely looking forward to more pearls of wisdom from Chele and the rest of BougieLand. Chele your blog is so inspirational and insightful. And I can't leave out FUNNY!!!

J. Jackson said...

Whew! I learned A LOT about myself in 2010. 2010 was my "official" first year of living completely on my own (I moved to Charlotte in August '09). I had to learn to go with my gut feelings (even though I didn't do this 100% of the time). I had to learn to step outside of my "comfort zone". I'm a loner by nature, so being at home watching good movies (and sipping red wine) is a perfect night for me, but people (i.e. my friends in California) started to say rather loudly that that's not normal behavior for a 26 year old. Finally, I had to learn how to juggle work and school (again). I realized my first year living on a "college budget" just wasn't cutting it for me. So I was blessed enough to work part-time the company where I did my summer internship.

Things I want to do in 2011:
1. Go on a date. Yes I am somewhat hanging my head in shame that I have not been on a date, but it's true. I had this epiphany while I was eating my New Years (black-eyed peas, greens, candied yams, and a turkey drumstick that I cooked *patting self on back*) dinner ALONE (FYI, I'm hitting the gym HARD on Monday). At that moment I realized that I wanted to have conversation over dinner with a person of the opposite sex. So that's what i'm going to work on this year. I know my problem, I hate putting myself out in situations where there's a possibility of rejection.

2. Graduate! I am on track to graduate in May, I just need to petition and pay the $140 graduate fee (I am getting my masters in Computer Science and a graduate certificate in Information Security and Privacy). I can't wait until my parents and family (hopefully) make there way to Charlotte...

3. Become a homeowner. I had this talk with my mom over Christmas while I was in California. She told me to, "slow down and not move so fast", but I can't see myself living in an apartment once my lease is up...

Annette Evans said...

The one thing I hope to do in 2011 is to stop putting everybody else's needs before my own. My child will be 21 this year, and it is time for me to:

2.Write that book
3.Buy a car (Don't need one in Chi-town, public trans is everywhere...)
4. Pamper me at least one a week.

Hope you don't mind me borrowing a few of your "plans" as well, the dancing one is really needed for everyone.


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