Well. So. What had happened was... My friends set up me with a guy I'll refer to as SixNine. Minds out of the gutter, he was six feet nine inches tall and lived in Houston. What we knew was that his criminal and background check were good. He's an engineer. Raised by grandparents, his grandfather was the preacher of a huge congregation in California. Divorced with one preteen daughter. Great sense of humor. We had two lunches and then agreed to meet halfway between Dallas and Houston in Buffalo, Texas for dinner.
Okay, so there's really no great place to eat in Buffalo. We worked it out. The date went well all smiles and snappy conversation, laughs and sparkle. We drove back to our respective cities, chatted and bantered and made tentative plans for our next date. Then came Sunday and all hell broke loose...
1) A woman called me. She told me she was SixNine's girlfriend and I needed to fall back. I told her I had no idea what she talking about. I didn't know her and I barely knew him but whatever beef she had was with him not me. She went in on a epithet-filled rant of epic proportion. I hung up in the middle of a sentence. She called back seven times in twenty minutes until I figured out how to block the number.
2) I sent him a "WTF, dude?" text. He called to say it wasn't what it sounded like. He was visiting his child when the child's mother picked up his phone and scrolled through his texts and call history. She wrote down my number and called me after he left. He apologized and said it wouldn't happen again.
3) I said, "Oh, your ex-wife?" He said, "No." Pause. "I actually have a seven month old son. This is his mother." Seven months? That's like brand new. And not only did he not disclose this to my peeps (or me), there's no mention of this child on any records tied to him. Now that's shady. So now in addition to the ex-wife and 13 year old daughter, you've got a baby mama and seven month old son. A crazy baby mama at that.
4) Me - "You have a seven month old son and a baby mama who is clearly possessive." Him - "We're not together. I don't want her back at all. I think you and I really have something. Don't be so swift to cut me off." Me - "But you lied. And this is fairly major." Him - "I knew if I told the truth you wouldn't want to go out with me." And that right there is the problem.
5) Me - "Yeah...ummm. I don't need the drama." Him - "You're never going to find someone 100% drama free." Me - "I understand that but this is a level beyond what I'm comfortable with." Him - "You're going to regret this." Me - "I'll take the risk. Bye now."
Y'all know how I feel about the drama, and the ex-drama in particular. No. Thank. You. And you know what this means, don't you? Chele is on a man break. Yes. Again. All I can say is thank goodness I found out before things got deep! Whew!
BougieLand, what are the chances that I'll regret this? (Okay that's a joke) I won't give you a list of questions... comment as you will.
170 comments:
no chele!!!! NOOOOO! not the younger dude!! i'm ready to slit my wrists, i really, really liked that guy for you!! why must his life be so crazy?? you made the right decision, tho - baby mama drama is the most toxic, and almost impossible to resolve if the woman wants the man back.... i've seen it too many times to entertain any ideas to the contrary - and unfortunately, all too often, it becomes YOUR problem as the girlfriend.... nope, just keep it moving...
...I got nothing.
Ugh...so disgusted. Don't know where to begin or if I want to. I had a similar situation like that some years ago...glad you left that alone...cuz crazy knows no boundaries...
So I wanna know what your friends said when you relayed the conversation. Did the friend's husband who set you up with ol' dude think you'll regret this, too? Are they ready to give you some space now?
I hate when people make my city look bad. I am mentally exhausted and I have nothing for you today except to say sorry. Perhaps a break is for the best. *deep long sigh*
Im glad you found this out now instead of down the line
SMH, I don't involve myself with men who have infants, toddlers, generally children under the age of 5, because the potential for drama and him still hitting BM, is TOO high.
Dude in your case knew this would deter any woman with some sense, that's why he lied but the lie only made the situation worse. His loss, not yours. Don't lose heart though, at least you have tried. Breaks are sometimes very necessary for sanity preservation if nothing else LOL.
Re #4: He knew if he told you the truth that you wouldn't go out with him. I hate this line! He should have told you the truth and allowed you to make the decision. The outcome would have been the same but at least he wouldn't have been branded a liar. smh
Say it ain't so!
I take a long break from blogs, rush back to check on Chele and see this mess. I support your break. While your break is on, the e-Bougie family will be scouting for and training a "screen the potential" team to ensure that only low drama individuals are allowed into your life space.
I need people to realize that whatever you have going on will come to the light, that same info that you conveniently forget to mention will come back and bite you in the tuckus. It never fails, your turn is no different. I am so mad at SixNine for being such an idiot. I'm tired and its not even Noon yet.
Sorry I meant "While you are on break"
First Malik Turner now this?? Dude recognized that his stuff was raggedy, which is why he kept it a secret. Sorry that you had to go through this but at least you found out sooner rather than later. I hope your peeps let him know that he ruined his reputation and more importantly, their trust in his character.
ex-wife with a kid, new baby mama, abandoned son? yeah.....PASS!!! really bad sperm management on his part
I think a more appropriate name for this guy is "Ratbag B*stard". Who in their right mind would regret not being with some lying butt-clown who deliberately hides the fact that he has a seven month old baby?
You just know that right about now, in a suburb of Dallas, the man former known as New Dude or Derrick, is doing a spirit inspired dance around his living room, as he recites a heartfelt prayer of thanks to G-D. :-)
The truth is always better than lies, even if your truth is ugly, drama filled or whateva, it's still better than a lie any day of the week.
I'd say you dodged a train wreck or slashed tires or a pumpkin on your windshield. Honestly, I don't think very much of him not telling you or your friends upfront. It is a rather big deal having a child of 7 months or at least it should be.
Ooooh Chele !
This pisses me off to no end ! I had a similar situation a couple of years ago. This guy started out with an ex-wife, 2 daughters (one in college and the other was 15). He revealed on our 4th date, that he actually had in total ( 3 ex- wives, 1 baby's mama, and a total of 5 kids with the youngest being 9 months old !) I was sooooo angry with this dude for lying and wasting my time. He told me "his personal truth" over appetizers on a " special date" at Vic and Anthony's Steakhouse, because he could tell I was somebody that he could see himself being with. WTH ? You can bet, I did some shady ish and ordered the biggest fattest steak I could find and made sure to order a bottle before rolling out on his ass for wasting my damn time ! Hell, I still have the dress I bought for this damn date *smh* This dude said the same things about, "if I had told you the truth from the beginning you would have prejudged me", and " You are not gonna find a man with no kids", etc. I was never the chick that wouldn't date a man with kids, so I took that as an insult. What kills me about this is that alot of times, people don't want what they deserve. I will bet you this guy would NEVER even consider dating his counterpart ( a chick with 5 kids) but thought he deserved me ? Especially after being deceptive about it ? Chele I am sorry you are dealing with these shenanigans but PLEASE keep your head up lady ! You deserve all that God has planned for you. I know its hard but be encouraged.
"...I hope your peeps let him know that he ruined his reputation..."
Yes indeed! Cause if I meet a 6'9" engineer, I'm runnin for my life! It may not even be him, I'm still runnin! LOL
"really bad sperm management on his part" I like that.
I pulled up the site, and when I saw the title of the post, I decided I had better go and get my morning cup of coffee so I could savor the post. :) Gee, I had such high hopes for Buffalo Soldier. Me thinks you will not have any regrets about giving Buffalo Soldier the heave ho!! If he mentioned he preteen daughter, why not mention the 7 month old son? (Silly question, I know.) While he may not want her back (so he says) clearly she does not feel the same way. (On another note, maybe that is why he was so eager to drive 4+ hours to have lunch-not much chance of your friends and family seeing you in pubic with a woman in a city 4+hours away.) Why can't folk completely end a relationship before trying to start another? Makes much less drama for all concerned.
BTW-Major side eye to a grown woman calling another woman and giving her ()&#)(& over the phone. Please, we are no longer in high school.
Well Chele, this right here is just disappointing. Welcome aboard the Break Train where the tickets come at a very high price. Your money is no good here, unfortunately, you pay with your heart.
Sometimes you just don't have a choice, but to sit back and chill. Your friends really did try and especially with this last round. Background and credit checks, face to face interviews, and still THIS. I am so sorry to hear that. SMH
is this the part where the "these dudes are killing the game right now" statement is reiterated? Yep.
Better for you to find out early, the crazy b.m. did you a BIG favor.
Well, let's thank the good Lord you found out now and way early before you invested any emotional energy into this. As for him saying you'll regret this, he must be on something. This level of drama is so not worth it.
And yes (like he said) not everyone is 100% drama free but ninja should know that the level of drama vastly differs. Some people might be able to do this but that's their problem.
So - he comes at you with only 32% of his shizznit together, and has a crazy baby mama to boot! A 7 month-old child means he hasn't really gotten up from her table yet, and if experience serves me correctly, he is still visiting her buffet (sorry - a little hungry right now). The fact he could crack open that hole in his nugget called a mouth and tell you that you will regret it is beyond the pale. Did he NOT see that a) he lied to you about something crucial, and b) he could have put you at risk of having to deal with some ghetto nasty shiggity brought out by the "lady" that just had his baby?
Yes ninja, at 7 months, this is a fresh baby, and just because you say you want something new, you are still in the old. Showing up on a date with somebody still smelling like that Similac you spilled in your car the night before. I don't know how they do things where he is from, but if you are just visiting your child, and you two aren't together anymore, how comfortable is he that she can get his phone, scroll through the numbers to yours, and write it down? The Sherlock Holmes side of me says that is a lie right there. The referee in me throws the bullshiggity flag down on the field. And the intuitive woman in me says this was no good, and he is just being plain disrespectful.
I wish you could email an actual kick in the taint with a stiletto for this mess. But Chele, you handled it way better than a lot of women would have - you showed class and restraint, because I know you wanted to call him out of his name...
can i OFFICIALLY say I DESPISE when someone tells ME what i will or will not REGRET????
homie..you know NOTHING about me. like less than nothing. you knew at a basic level that no self-respecting woman would want to deal with DRAMA. (or you would still be with dude formally known as new). Hence the deceit. DELIBERATE deceit. and not just to me, but to your supposed friends?? about a CHILD???? no. and no. and no some more in 14 different languages.
#ontothenextone
" You are not gonna find a man with no kids" How the hell does he know that?
"if I had told you the truth from the beginning you would have prejudged me" Right, but then it's okay for him (and his ilk) to walk around judging women with kids?
What is up with these men behaving all raggedy by having kids from here to Timbuktu with crazy-ass ex-wives and girlfriends trailing their asses and forgetting to mention all that when dating? These people kill me man.
Oh hellz no!
LOL @ "You're never going to find someone 100% drama-free." Well duh, but that doesn't mean you should settle for 100% drama. Crazy baby mamas always come back to bite ya--that's his problem, not yours.
c'mon though..you can't fall back because the first dude didn't work out :)
Let me run in here and drop THIS bombshell - SixNine's Grandpappy didn't know about the new child - Okay?! This would be the man's first grandson and he didn't know?
That level of lowdown deceitfulness bodes ill all the way around. Mr. C and Mocha Dude offered their ass-kicking skills. Chele politely declined.
No wrist slicing - too messy. Just toss back an extra shot of whatever makes you happy and lift a toast.
What?! Sassy speechless? Oh my...
And crazy lasts 365/24/7...
We'll do whatever Chele wants. If she wants to take a break, we're good. But we're always gonna encourage her to get back out there because she's too wonderful a person not to share.
Aw TT-Mack, I don't blame your city. Dude is originally from Cali and I don't blame them either. This ninja just lost himself somewhere.
Girl, this fact alone is worthy of a praise dance and a soul clap.
I think this is how some chicks end up with baggage-laden dudes like this. They go in, everything's great and once they're in too deep all sorts of bones coming flying out the closet. Life is way too short for all that.
I wasn't sure why he thought that was a good reason to lie?!
Holy Moly Chele! Before I even start reading the comments, I want to say WOW. I am so glad that you have yourself together enough to leave that ish alone. What is wrong with our folks anyway? I have so many questions like: Why is there a baby mama (that's to the "ex-girlfriend") in 2010? Why lie (for 6'9")? What is wrong with being low-drama or drama-free? I could go on and on.
And we thank you for your support ;-)
Peeps went straight to his fam. They are gangsta like that.
Especially since I now suspect he married the first one because she was pregnant. This indicates a blatant disregard for the placement of your unprotected penis. And lesson not learned over 13 years later? No thanks.
"As for him saying you'll regret this, he must be on something." Not really. He, and some others, truly believe that his height, education, profession, family background, far out weigh the drama of a baby mama that he "no longer wants back". There are women who will put up with the drama in exchange for his "attributes" and truly feel that they have "won the prize" or even stolen it from his baby mama. Chele is not one of those women. Thank God.
Ha! Probably so.
You and I are >>>right here<<<
She was definitely giving me the Crazy Woman Scorned vibe.
No, I have something to say: When does this shit end? When? ::sexual chocolate stomp:: I am dammit tired, tired, tired, tired TIRED of babies all over the place and lying and foolishness. TIRED I SAY! ::swipes all the stuff off my desk, walks over it and out the door::
What's hilarious is that SixNine was so pleased when he found out I had no kids, said he "preferred women without children" - of course he did, he's got his own to worry about!
Or junior high.
horrible....are people still confused on the sex can = pregnancy thing? you just don't care who the mother of your kids is? tomfoolery
you dodged a bullet (hehe, take that as you will, his fertile ass) with that one
Not only on something but something good!
I let Jayme and the gang handle that part. They were so morally outraged that this dude sat in front of them and lied about something this huge. I had to comfort them! Peeps were tart.
I think the best policy when you are cold-busted in a major lie like this one is just to say, "You know what, I was wrong and I apologize. I hope you'll forgive me." That's it. That's all you've got. It doesn't change anything but it's the classy way to handle it.
Double hellz no! LOL!
Hmpfh. What do you mean first dude? Have you been following this blog? I'm afraid to go back and pull up the string of complete and utter FAILs I've come across in the past eighteen months. No sir. A restorative break with spa visits and pear-infused vodka is called for.
That was the most shocking part to me. One thing to hide a child from potential dates but from family too?!
The minute I got the first phone call I was done. No ma'am.
Can I offer you an adult beverage to sip on and soothe your nerves?
You make an excellent point. I stand corrected...LOL.
Why not just lay everything out upfront and let a person decide? When will people learn it's SO much easier just to be you from jump, baggage and all.
"if I had told you the truth from the beginning you would have prejudged me", UM, he SHOULD be judged! you make choices/decisions, you are judged by them, that is life and clearly shows your way of living. isn't it MY option to decide if i like that way of life?
" You are not gonna find a man with no kids". If you are dating dudes who don't give a rat's ass who has their children then sure.
whaaaaaaa??????????????????
*flava flav voice: wowwwww.....
*kicks chair and lets out a kelis-like primal scream with SLS.
felt good actually. lol.
"I knew if I told the truth you wouldn't want to go out with me."
Dear Six-Nine,
Lying by omission is still lying. {{insert blank stare here}}
The nerve of him to say that you are going to regret this...Ummm...NO SIR!
It's one thing to say that everyone has some BAGGAGE but drama is optional. Negro please!!
Vent over.
Ok now I see! SixNine went slummin, got caught up (she got prenant) and now he realizes that it ain't easy to walk away from that ghetto love...Yeah ol' girl ain't bout to be dismissed just like that! And now you know!...The reason Grandpappy didn't know about his FIRST grandson is because his mama is not the type of woman that SixNine can bring around his family. (Exhibit A - the phone call to Chele, and "She went in on a epithet-filled rant of epic proportion. I hung up in the middle of a sentence. She called back seven times in twenty minutes until I figured out how to block the number.")...So now he's trying to redeem himself and get back to dating the type of woman that he can take home to mama. But he IS still hittin that (baby mama), if for no other reason than to keep her quiet and satisfied so that he don't have to PAY!!!...There is drama in his life that still hasn't unfolded! Ol' girl apparently hasn't "shown her ass" to his family yet. Oh but wait until she realizes that she and baby boy have been kept secret, Shanaynay gon bust a nutty!
Had a similar deal happen to me. I was dating this woman (single with no kids she said) and I noticed she kept having me pick her up at different places. When I asked her she gave me some jumbled excuse about her job and her car. I assumed she was embarrassed by where she lived and left it alone. First time we uh - stirred the cocoa - we had a huge fight because she said she didn't like condoms. I gave the obligatory "no glove, no love" speech and she saw things my way. But then I'm kinda glancing at her with all flavor of suspicion because in today's world - really?
A few weeks later I'm driving past one of the places I picked her up and I see her herding kids (5!) into a car. I pull over, hop out and say hey. The kids are all "Mommy, can we go now?" I send her a look and ask if these are her kids. She says yes and one more is at college. From zero to six in five minutes. I sped away... she was serious about not liking condoms.
A 7 month-old child means he hasn't really gotten up from her table yet, and if experience serves me correctly, he is still visiting her buffet (sorry - a little hungry right now).
This 1000%!
The first thing that came to my mind was, "Oh he is at her house long enough for her to go through his phone. Yeah he's still hittin it!!"
You know I wanted to ride down to Houston and give that man what for. But Skypeing GrandDad and spilling the beans about his blessed baby boy worked for me. I felt bad for GrandDad because he was stunned and saddened but as my Mom used to say - The Truth Will Out!
Seriously, how you gonna hide your flesh and blood from fam?
Spa visits and pear-infused vodka - you know how to do it right!
#dead
Exactly! I'll tell you there's nothing worse than the surprise phone call from a woman you didn't know existed. But some men do actually thrive off all that drama.
I've been racking my brain trying to come up with a defense for Tall Dude but... I got nothing. That's some shady ish and on the real, he could've put you in danger behind that nonsense.
What the what?!
I don't blame you. Maybe GrandDad can knock some sense into him
This is really not a funny story, but the way you ended it, I couldn't help but laugh. "From zero to six in five minutes. I sped away... she was serious about not liking condoms." LOL
That s!utbag whor€..and after we rooted for him. Woosah. I'm glad you cut him down to size *arms folded*
I know ninja mad as hell. You were about to be the trophy chick he could take home to GrandPop and say Lookie here! as a way to cancel out the "surprise" he was bringing home for the holidays. Girl, he planned to get you so sprung you would be a-ight with the baby drama. He ain't know who you be.
Chele don't play! First sign of smoke, she yells Fire and is OUT! A lotta thirsty-ass chicks would've hung in there. SixNine steady thinking no one walks away for SixNine. He just got a lesson in Bouge.
Onto da next!
Bwahaha..run forest, runnn...I'm right behind ya.
Him - "You're going to regret this."? Negro please, GTFOHWTB!
Aw yes, the hidden fam. Just booted dude who started out single w/no kids and eventually revealed three ex-wives and a baby mama and a kid by each. iCan't with that level of shiggity. Glad you got out while the getting was good.
That's just crazy!
Always the way. I find a lot of the guys that only want a woman with no kids, six figures and a size 3 in 5" inch heels are usually father of multiple, out of shape, po and rocking Dockers from 1997.
Not to mention various incurable diseases!
Will you be YouTubeing the praise dance/soul clap?
Just putting this out, why does @RozB not have her own blog, radio, talk show?
I love the way you put this, Mr. Riley!
"The reason Grandpappy didn't know about his FIRST grandson is because his mama is not the type of woman that SixNine can bring around his family."
Preach!!!! SMH, Some men never learn!
Maybe whip up some Purple People Eaters?
I was dead at "From zero to six in five minutes", classic!
"Shanaynay gon bust a nutty! " *Picking out my dress for my casket*
What got me was the fact that he dismissed Baby mama, or Shanaynay - whatever, as if she was a plate of food he was eating on, saw something better, and left her out in the cold. "I don't want this no more - this ish done got cold. But I will take a plate of hot filet mignon and baked potato".
I am not on Team Shanaynay by any stretch of the imagination, but his statements about her and his treatment of her and their baby shows his lack of respect, character, and moral fiber. If he would disrespect her after having HIS baby, what would he do with someone he was just dating? Just because she may be ghetto, and obviously held the middle seat on the short bus, doesn't mean that he isn't responsible for showing her some semblence of respect, at least for the sake of their baby.
I wish I could go to Texas, stop at a dogwood bush and get a switch, and whip his azz for GP!
Wooh Chele! Why, why, why, do you keep bringing back memories of the "dumb ass ninja" stuff from my past that makes me say WHAT THE HELL?
My all-time favorite: "I knew if I told the truth you wouldn't want to go out with me." Ugh... that is a FAIL ninja F-A-I-L!!!
This is not Drama or Baggage. This is STUFF - Shit That You Forgot or Faked (begs Bougie pass for language)
I. AM. Sorry.
I had such high hopes and was rooting (I mean on the sidelines with pom poms and spirit fingers cheering) rooting for 6'9" to be the One.
I am continuously amazed by the audacity of men.
Let me point out that Drama and Baggage are two totally different planets and they don't have they same gravitational pull.
You can glide past Baggage and keep it moving.
Drama sucks you in like a black hole and you have to amputate something to get out. Most times it is emotional security or confidence.
Glad you got out with your life and emotional being intake. Sending you a Groupon for a fruit infused alcoholic beverages.
I would so love to be at the next family reunion! "Who dat chocolated baby's daddy?" He better raise his hand high!
I'm kinda lazy, and not that blog-savvy to start my own. Although Chele has influenced me enough to get working on it!
Oh see! You ain't heard. He's a tall Black man. He's rare. You're a damaged Black woman. There are plenty of those to go around. You were supposed to cling to him and work around his getting baby momma. He was gonna tell you. You know after your relationship was solidified. He's learned a very valuable lesson: Urban Baby Mommas Will Not Be Ignored!
I hate deception in all forms. I think there is something particularly
Please take the step back, relax, reload and whatever else you need to do. Because when a good man with integrity and honesty steps to you (and he WILL); you'll be open and receptive and happy to see him coming your way.
*mumbling under breath* Raggedy-ass ninjas effin' it up for ev'body.
Mix in a little Chocolate Chai tea from Adagio Teas. The chocolate is subtle, but with a little honey it is really good. Current favorite.
Where was she going to hide those six kids as the relationship went on? Some scary shiggity right there!
You are blessed to have people that truly care about you and lucky that you were able to walk (run) away from this one with minimal damage.
O WOW!!
1)You were right to give her the eye after she said I don't like condoms. I guess she was looking for her next pay-check. Its situations like this that keep the baby mama stereotype alive.
6.If yes to question 5, describe your kid(s) mother(s) in 3 words. I am not against people with kids but I need to understand what kind of other parent you have in your life. I am not trying to get my car keyed or acid poured on me in the name of love.
Men who lack conscience will even lie to themselves, to themselves
A friend once said, and I found to be true
That everyday people, they lie to God too
So what makes you think, that they won't lie to you
-Lauren Hill
Glad you aren't entertaining the shiggity. Don't let the ig'nant ninjas discourage you. Whoever he is, he will be worth it all.
I'm lowkey tickled that "stirred the cocoa" is a phrase we all understand now. Chele just creating her own damn language - now that's bougie.
As for this chick - yessir, run and don't look back.
*leans into mic* Tabernacle.
*exits whistling*
I don't know what to do with that. Wow. Entire life of deception has to be exhausting.
From Buffalo Soldier to buffalo chip. SMH
You know, it's shiggity like this that make people hire PIs to run CIA-level background checks on people they're dating. Hiding a child from dates is bad enough, but from family? I'm assuming the first child didn't even know that she's been a big sister for almost a year.
"You're going to regret this." - Bitch, PLEASE! >:(
High School? Junior High?
I must be true Bougie all the way through.... even in school, I didnt lose my mind like that. Its always been "Ninja, your loss..." and I moved on like Soul 2 Soul
Why did I come back in here today??
*dead*
3a. If the answer to question 3 is no, is someone seeing, living with, engaged married or separated from you right now?
4a. if the answer to question 4 is no, has someone been married to you?
Just sayin...
"But he IS still hittin that (baby mama), if for no other reason than to keep her quiet and satisfied so that he don't have to PAY!!!" I was thinking the exact same thing. Dude is an engineer, he's probably makin' a lil bit of paper. He knows for damn sure if he cuts her loose for-real for-real, Sha's gonna have Children & Family Services are coming for his bank.
Humph. Sound like she hopes that her good-good is so GREAT that if you happened to have fallen for the "no condoms" line and created Baby #7, you would stay and be Daddy to them all. Some women still believe this nuttiness works...
I haven't read through the comments and I'm sure several people have mentioned what I'm thinking, so I'll just leave with these four letters: S.M.D.H.
Amen.
Six-nine isn't Vivica Fox ex husband is he. No, I forgot he was an aspiring rapper! You have all the fun!
2a-d. Have you ever wanted/fantasized about having sex with men? Do you consider yourself bisexual? Do you consider yourself DL? Have you ever been to BullDogs?
P.S. I live in Atlanta...there are more questions, but this will suffice for now
I meant the first dude since "the Derrick"
yeah he's probably telling her that they're gonna get back together, and baby mom knows he's a cash cow so that's why she flipped out
*points at the pulpit*
Actually, I couldn't leave with just four letters. I also must point out that this is how BS Stalker and Bingo Dude get play. They seemed horrible 6 days ago, now they seem (almost, but not really) viable choices compared to Buffalo S**t.
This is also why BW keep talking about not finding (or struggling to find) a decent man. I'm really glad that you're putting your adventures out here Chele, for everyone to read.
A lot of people think BW are making up stories, being picky, have major issues or otherwise defective when they find out she's a BW of quality and have trouble finding men who are of quality. I will now direct all doubters and naysayers to the Bougie Bachelorette Chronicles.
Sadly, this is what's out there. And the outlook is bleak. And the sad reality is, unfortunately, that you are not alone and there are plenty stories that are similar. I've had my share and my friends have as well.
I applaud your resilience.
Vivica's ex also left her for another man.
*Drops Benjamins into offering plate*
and you know she is about to say oh she is scared of me ... Um no boo Chele is bougie and doesnt have time to fight over a man. She doesnt have to share a man , or be involved with drama. Life is too short for that ish
As a former church trustee, you should visit my tiny church, we need those blessings! LOL
sooo stealing this!
Is that Omega Oil? Inquiring minds...
...back to the left coast corner.
what about the white chocolate police officer man?
"S.T.U.F.F." stealing that.....
OOOOOH, he's from here? Yeah, that makes sense. Everyone tries some old hustle ish out here. I'm FROM here and it irritates me.
I just... he said... she called - What?! So unfortunate. Stay up, Chele. Better days coming.
I have come across names, addresses, phone numbers and email addresses and never made contact with any of them. For.what? And like I've told those who have called me (Lord I pray those days don't return!), "You need to talk to your man". Of course I wasn't so polite when I confronted said ninja about lying to me!
LOL! Yeah we have to look out for each other, it's a war out there!
I hear ya Rozb! Gotta pay attention to how a man treats or references his ex-SO's.
I would definitely be a reader! You are real and hysterical and I can relate to that!
LOL
"A lotta thirsty-ass chicks would've hung in there. SixNine steady thinking no one walks away for SixNine." And that's what he's used to!...He's still shakin his head wondering what just happened!
LMAO!!! Whew that is soooooo true, you need to add that in there!
Lol thanks..Would you like that gift-wrapped? ;-)
Man you have Charlie beat! That's zero to infinity and beyond...!
Stealing it from you! I love that!
dayum chele...drama chases you down like cake chasing after fat kids.
Drops blank check on top of Steve's Benjamins!
I'll give all permission to use it just make sure all credit comes back to ME! (It is rather good, huh?)
SixNine steady thinking no one walks away for SixNine.
I hear "I'm Eddie Kane, you can't be me" Five Heartbeats is one of my all time fav movies.
Every one here said everything I was thinking. So I just say.. good riddance to bad rubbish.
Well damn. Younger 6'9" showing his lack of maturity -- a real man would have been upfront and given you the choice. You might have chosen not too or you might have decided to see where it went. But my putting you in position to deal with psycho-baby-mama it's done now. Honesty is not always pretty but you owe it to your partner/potential partner to give it. With that omission, now all kinds of cray-cray come out the woodwork. Glad you found out now. Oh, and that comment I made about seeing if he had some people in NC in height range -- you can disregard LOL.
Leave it Riley to break it down. I quoted him today (Obeezy comment). I must stop that.
Ugh! You already know no one is 100% drama free, we all some kind of idiosyncrasies that could be mistaken as drama-ish (or maybe it's just me...). The one thing folks can be is 100% honest so why in the filth flarn filth wouldn't he mention that? As tacky as I think it is for a woman to call another on some leave my man alone bull I'm glad she did, he obviously knew it would deduct points from his potential.
I don't know what Omega Oil is, but a purple people eater is Welch's grape juice, tequila to taste, and a dash of lemon, put in a shaker with ice, and pour into a sugar-rimmed glass. Yum!
LOL!!!
Nights like this I wish that raindrops would faaalll. Nights like this....(the scene in the alley).
SixNine better watch out, the bigger they are the harder they fall!
This.right.here.
"Drama sucks you in like a black hole and you have to amputate something to get out. Most times it is emotional security or confidence." So sad but true...
"You can glide past Baggage and keep it moving. " --->dead
" He just got a lesson in Bouge." ---> REAL TALK from Riley.
" He just got a lesson in Bouge." ---> dead, too bad that i'm in class.
You've pretty much summed it up. @rozb: get a fan and revive, because we may be treated to the follow-up chapter of this drama and ya don't want to miss that!
Hurry up!!
So this hits on a major issue for me:
Don't manipulate me by lying.
I hate when you confront someone with a lie and they say "well you wouldn't have done x if I hadn't" as if THAT makes sense. It's my life, I get to make my decisions about what I do and with whom, dangit!
Ugh. #screwface
I can't stand it.
If he's this cold to Team Shanaynay, he wouldn't be any warmer to a woman that he felt met his standards who bore his seed, and still be one of the CEOs of *Trifling *R* Us. Hope Shanaynay realizes that she can do better than what's under her shoe, and files for child support ASAP...
Reading this late at & night and do not have the right words for this other than what part of game is this? I concur, man break is not a bad thing at this time.
"What's hilarious is that SixNine was so pleased when he found out I had no kids, said he "preferred women without children"..." Riiiiight - but not enough to wrap up his weapon of preference. Hauling an 8-foot ladder out to beat sense into this ninja wouldn't do a bit of good, but I hope his granddad has a strong leather strap!!
From Cali, eh? Humph!!
Just what I was thinking...for "Too Tall" to sit through the "smokin' over" and lie to your friends faces knowing what the consequences would be...then when caught in the lie by you...says no ones life is 100% drama-free...basically telling you to get with the program...and to not understand the gravity of the lyin'...now.that.right.there is some huevos grandes for sure...Chele...glad you went lumberjackie on him...bet he's about 3'9'' by now...
Ok, honestly, I would have my hackles up at the "you'll regret this." What did he mean by that exactly??? And a man who has a brand new baby and is out shopping, but can't man up enough to say "I made a mistake"? Done.
"From Buffalo Soldier to buffalo chip." <--- Can I steal that one pls? I cracked UP!
LOL Of course, Misha. It did seem the simplest way to sum up the situation.
"You're going to regret this."
Side eye to you sir.
I'm just wondering which baby daddy was babysitting when y'all were stirring the cocoa...
Shoot,it's already in use! LOL
Po lil tink tink.
I have to say if the sitch was reversed, contact would have been severed immediately and post haste. I believe in withholding UNIMPORTANT information until later, but that other women and children in your space is quite important.
*sigh* My previous comment on Mr. SixNine was "what is there not to like at this point?" Clearly you have now reached the point where there is something significant not to like. I think you'll live with this one getting away.
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