Tuesday, November 30, 2010

The Case of the Winter Boo - Good or Bad Idea?


Season's Greetings, y'all. I see you. I see more than a few of you single folk out there hustlin' for a holiday hook-up, trying to stir up some cuddle cocoa, on the prowl for the Winter Boo... um-hmm. Nothing says Happy Holidays like some new-new. If you choose wisely, you get gifts, a snuggle buddy and ye all important date for New Year's Eve. Score! Right?

Not. So. Fast.

I don't mind if you ho-ho-ho your way through the holidays... do you, boo boo. But can you kindly share your intentions with the new main squeeze? If you are just in it for the cocoa, eggnog and a date to the company Christmas party? Let that be known. If I had a dollar for every Holiday Hook up that fizzled before Valentine's Day? I'd be typing this post from my vacation home in Bali. While a cabana boy named Raoul brought me rum drinks in diamond glasses and seafood on a platinum platter. Yes, that many.

There is something both magical and macabre about this time of year. On the one hand, when celebrated in the true Reason for the Season, it's great. An opportunity to catch up with family and friends, give and receive, reach out to less fortunate, all of that. Y'all know what I'm saying - get out there and spread tidings of comfort and joy already!

Well - and then there's that. That forced gaiety. That "it's Christmastime so why aren't you happy" attitude. Some of y'all actually like snow and caroling and Secret Damn Santa. For others, it's hard. They may not have loved ones or they may feel inadequate for not being able to give due to financial circumstances. I lost my father ten years ago around Thanskgiving so it always takes me a minute to get past that hurdle and realize he won't be around for the holidays which he absolutely loved and made a big deal out of.

My point (wandering though it may be) - some people are especially vulnerable during this season. Goodness knows a brand new shiny boo can let you forget your troubles and get some happy. Vulnerable + holidays + pheromones = recipe for trouble. Have fun but just think about it. What happens after the mistletoe has come down and the sequined bustier is tucked away?

If you're fortunate, whatever it was that brought you and your holiday honey together will last long after the snow has melted. If not, well blame it on the bourbon balls. But be careful, a cuddle cutie can have a few consequences that snuggling with your Snuggie doesn't. Suit up and know who you're sipping cocoa with. I know, I know... it's cold outside. Folks gotta do what they gotta do. I'm just saying tread lightly, ice isn't the only slippery slope out there.

That's all I've got. Tell me BougieLand - are you hustling for candy cane kisses? Does anyone know of holiday hook-ups that turned into happily ever after? (I know I'm doing the most with alliteration today. Tis the season.) Who else hates having to scrounge up a date for the company bash or the New Year's Eve countdown (which I hold personally responsible for a lot of reckless-assed behavior)? Do we really get more "jolly under the holly"? Thoughts, comments, insights? The floor is yours...

82 comments:

David Parrish, Jr.(Inkognegro) said...

Yup, I believe we have covered this general topic before.

Be honest with yourself and your prospective partner.

If someone tells you they're a rolling stone, don't get mad when you wake up next to an old white British dude and all the "moss" you gave them is still in your bed.

See you tomorrow.

♞ they call me kj ♞ said...

Good advice. Folks, be honest with yourself, and your "temp" (if you're going to be "temps")

Me, i'm in E. Scrooge McDuck mode.

CaliGirlED said...

Not hustling for candy cane kisses beneath the mistletoe nor scrounging for a date to my company's Holiday Party. I already sent my RSVP for 3, Me, Myself and I. The three of us will be there in full holiday spirit!

I agree with Chele, those on the hunt for a "Winter Boo" or "Holiday New-New" should be honest with their potential suitors. And women beware, if you and your new man break up over some Superbowl madness, it was all in his plan to begin with. (You know start a fight so that you break up before Valentine's Day). LOL

OSHH said...

I have never done seasonal folks per say or signed on for that.
Like yourself and others have stated if folks are honest I guess fair exchange is no robbery.

Just_A_Thought1218 said...

Umm, I much rather be single during the holidays. Coming home to a cold house is no fun. Having to navigate his family, your family, work, gift shopping and all of that makes me want to chuck the deuces and head south for the winter.

Be honest with your intentions. I personally don't cosign getting with anybody for the sake of having somebody, no matter WHAT time of year it is. I think it is rather dumb to do it for the holidays. Cheapens the season and lightens your pockets.

GrownAzzMan said...

I used to have a holiday dating moratorium. No new folks starting right after my birthday (late November, mama didn't raise no fools) and extending through Valentines Day. That way I had about 8-9 good months to get to know somebody before the dreaded holiday shopping season rolled around. If you are in search of the holiday new-new (good word Chele) be careful out there. You may find more then chestnuts roasting.

Man's World said...

Points for the picture. And points for continuing to make up your own entire language. Now, I'm looking at the chick I met the night after Thanksgiving at a Cuddle Cutie. Not helpful.

Generally, I don't kick off a relationship during the holidays. Too much pressure and you know you can take just ANYBODY to the 9-5 functions.

Grace said...

It is the one time of year where I'm tempted to "reignite an old flame" for the cuddle cocoa, the New Year's Eve party, all that drama. But I have tried this before. That which doesn't work in the other three seasons really doesn't work when is negative North Pole temperatures out there.

Violet Rose said...

Chele - no one likes Secret Santa. No matter what they say.
And I am most definitely guilty (not of hooking up just for the holidays) but of meeting someone during the holidays and letting it ride out (long past the expiration date) at least until January.

derek love said...

People's emotions tend to be on full alert during the holidays. We take Christmas so seriously - like a full contact sport. If I'm already with you, it's a great time to see what I'm working with. I once dated a girl that I thought was completely sane until Christmas time came around. She turned into someone completely different. She actually took out a calculator to add up how much I spent on her compared to how much she spent on me. WDDDA?

BB Waite said...

I met Mr. Waite around the holidays and I long suspected he just wanted someone to go to a party with that weekend. What he didn't know what that I was just waiting for my shot. LOL! 18 years later, I say - if you get the chance for a candy cane kiss, take it! Might turn into something good.

baileyqc said...

I have a girlfriend who keeps a list of rotating cuddle cooca on standby for the holidays. Once a year she calls to see who's still single and then she smiles and dials for her holiday dates. One of them get a trip to a beach destination. One of them goes to the family function, one to her work stuff. Looks exhausting form the outside but it works for her. (I guess?)

If I'm not in a relationship before Thanskgiving, I just assume it's a wash until January.

thinklikeRiley said...

Chele, quit hatin' it's Boo Season!

OneChele said...

E. Scrooge McDuck? Coming out of hibernation in Spring? LOL!

OneChele said...

Men are NOTORIOUS for the Pre-Cupid break 'n run. Bruhs, it's a box of chocolates and a dinner, chill out!

OneChele said...

Good point.

OneChele said...

I am south for the winter, I'd like to go further. Like Belize. Wait out the season there. Come back in January.

William Martin said...

First of all, let's address the fact that you are a fool! Bali with Raoul and a seafood platter?
"Ho-ho-ho" through the holidays?!
Goodness you're brain is fascinating wonderland, thanks for sharing it with us.

As for the holidays, worst time of the year for my profession. It's pretty much all work no play for a while.

OneChele said...

You may find more then chestnuts roasting Exactly... LOL!

OneChele said...

I wish more people realized that who you bring to your work party is a direct reflection on you. If your date likes to get a sip on, please coach them up prior to the event so you don't have to spend the rest of the year apologizing for your date's behavior.

OneChele said...

Hmm, I might have to do a post about reheating old cocoa. Sometimes you need to just throw it out and start fresh.

yourgirlC said...

I'm with you GAM. If I didn't know him before Halloween, I don't bring him around for T-Day, Xmas parties or New Years. The holidays and new dating are stressful enough independently. Coupling the two is just too much for me. The pressure that everyone puts on the couple is way too uncomfortable.

OneChele said...

Since you've already admitted your crime - I won't bash you for it.

OneChele said...

Note to folks everywhere, the proper response to receiving a gift is "Thank you for thinking of me!" Period. No matter how trifling the gift is. That is your first response. Keep it bougie.

OneChele said...

What's hilarious about this is that Mr. Waite says he was just waiting to take his shot. The two of you were circling each other for months. Too funny.

OneChele said...

Sounds exhausting and complicated.

OneChele said...

*snickers* That's not Halloween?

OneChele said...

Fascinating wonderland - that's a first. I'll take it!

rozb said...

I've seen more of the reverse - breaking up around the holidays to avoid gift-giving, social commitments, attending family events, etc. Then around March or so, the phone calls are made, and the hook-ups begin. I don't know how some folks fall for this more than once, but they do.

If you're not already coupled up, it is best to almost write it on your forehead that you know it's the holidays, but you want some mistletoe fun and some good old fashioned under-the-blanket wrestling. Be grown and let what transpires between you and the other person happen without turning into a Lifetime Movie of the Week.

If you are attached, then I say Yay! However, don't let someone bait you into a fight or argument that allows them to abandon you for the holidays, only to try to come crawling back February 15th. Talk it out about your expectations - let a person know that every kiss doesn't have to begin with Kay's and every social event is not a relationship meter. Once you relax you can walk around with a mistletoe necklace and dangle from the chandeliers if you want. Have a good time and enjoy the holidays for what they are - festive, hectic, crazy, and fun.

rozb said...

I got a freakin' Chia Pet one year as a Secret Santa gift. Seriously. A Chia Pet. And the person who gave it to me was giddy as hell because she always wanted one and said it suited my personality. Mind you, she knitted can cozies and cat sweaters, so I politely said thanks after the big reveal, took that thing home, and...re-gifted it at another party.

rozb said...

Start a fight Dec. 22nd, call to apologize 2nd week of March. That way all the holidays, including Valentine's Day and the Superbowl are over and he has nothing to do on a Sunday.

David Chase said...

Some people make the rounds of the holiday parties just for the hook up opportunities. Like you said, as long as you keep in one hundred - no problem.

David Chase said...

That is funny. Both of them were plotting on the other.

David Chase said...

If that's how dude rolls, he might as well wait for March Madness to be over. #justsayin'

Sarah said...

I'm pretty much OK during the holidays neither way up or way down. It is a homemade Christmas this year because finances are tight. And I'm in the middle of various projects that can't really take a holiday break. So it is low key here. I agree with the other comments about the holidays being a stressful time for relationships. If you want to know what somebody is really like, then see them at the holidays with their family.

All Honey said...

I don't mind a little Christmas Cuddle Cocoa - as long as both parties know what's up.
Off topic - have you tried a Chocolate Mint martini? Peppermint schnapps and Godiva Liquor - yum!

rozb said...

Wow. No need to start anything until basketball and hockey are over too. But wait...by that time baseball playoffs are here and football season has started. And I do believe that NASCAR is year-round. Dude just might as well call it a wrap.

Pure Choco said...

Now this is SO true, Sarah! There is something about seeing people with their family and lifelong friends that tells you more than anything else.

Pure Choco said...

Yes ma'am

rozb said...

I do have those "mysteriously disappeared" gifts as well. Like the giant squeeze bottle of Scotch. Yes. A squeeze bottle. One size up from the pint. Not even good for marinating steaks.

Pure Choco said...

No shade but I can't stand those uber-crafty folks. No, I don't want an orange crochet oven mitt or a bedazzled keychain. Worst secret santa gift ever? A Christmas stocking someone made from scratch with a tube sock and a headband. No. I'm not joking. :-(

Pure Choco said...

Do it!

Pure Choco said...

The Picture is EVERYTHING!

Mr. Skyywalker said...

I think you said it best yesterday - No Country for Cuddle Cocoa
If you're not in it to win it, don't play.

cocoaeyecandy said...

You. Are. Silly.

cocoaeyecandy said...

I got a fully wrapped box of twelve condoms with three missing. WTH?!

cocoaeyecandy said...

Vicious cycle!

YardieChicie said...

*reads first section* I was just about to write that! And, yes, I don't know how people keep falling for this either.

MochaMuffin said...

Currently channeling my inner Scrooge. So Bah Humbag to the whole love & cocoa thing.

Jason P said...

And this right here sparks the December 15 break up. If a woman starts scheming and scamming for the $$$$ gift right after Thanksgiving, we're gonna have a problem. The holidays bring out the best and worst in people, for sure.

Jason P said...

I'm speechless.

CaliGirlED said...

I met a guy last November. He actually asked me was I going to take him to my company's holiday party. Dude I have known you for a month and I just started this job, are you kidding me? Hell to the naw!!!

Monica said...

You beat me to it, so all I can do is co-sign.

Penny said...

Already got the phone call. Did. Not. Call. Back.

Bethany Showell said...

Bleh and no. Too much pressure to give gifts if you get a winter boo. Then you end up scrambling for gifts that you put thought into and THEY give you nylon Frederick's draws or giant purple wine goblets that don't fit in your cabinets. No thanks.

Just_A_Thought1218 said...

Me too. And I'd also like to go further south. Belize sounds nice, but I'd stay gone until January.

rozb said...

"...you end up scrambling for gifts that you put thought into and THEY give you nylon Frederick's draws or giant purple wine goblets that don't fit in your cabinets."

DEAD!

OneChele said...

Wait, wait, wait - what is wrong with giant purple wine goblets?! ;-)

ConvertingMe said...

Can cozies and cat sweaters? It takes a special brand of demented to dress a cat in a sweater.

rozb said...

Umm...wow. I would have filled the rest with water and water-ballooned that person.

Suebhoney1125 said...

Back in the day I never did do the "holiday hook-ups" (was already hooked up by then), but would get it going in late fall and it would last till summer time (que-Will Smith) You know, hanging out, half dressed, fellas out huntin (and girls doin likewise), couldn't be attached uh uh no way, then start fresh again in the fall. ( **aahh those were the days when I was young and hadn't discovered my bougieness**) Now being older, a lot wiser and a zero tolerance for bullshiggity, it may just be me and a good book this holiday season.

Bethany Showell said...

Nothin' after you fill 'em a couple of times :-D

OneChele said...

Me too! *Capricorn fist bump*

CaliGirlED said...

Me too!

CaliGirlED said...

"...let a person know that every kiss doesn't have to begin with Kay..." *dead*

CaliGirlED said...

Which is why I think you should let a year's worth of holidays roll around so that you can see exactly what you're marrying into. Some families have seasonal fools. "Uncle Charlie" might not show out when he's confined inside at Christmas time like he does when he's outside, fancy-free, drunk and hot at the 4th of July picnic!

brownstocking said...

As someone who went through this once, a temporary insanity does take hold. I've been blinging you out all year, and you roll up with the smallest box of Godiva chocolates? My head turned around 360.

Now, in my defense, I was young, and it was my first real relationship, but yeah, it wasn't a good look, and I've never repeated it. Gifts are just that--not U Owe Mes.

I have to think about this Holiday boo thing. I started updating my online dating profile, and I think I know why subconsciously. I need armor for the family events. I don't care about the presents, etc, I think I just wanted someone to have my back at the gatherings. Engaged cousins, people side-eyeing me, etc.

I've been without cocoa so long Hershey put out an APB on me. So, like someone else said, I got good books, a new mixer to learn to dj with, and a fireplace. I'll be ah-ight.

brownstocking said...

I'm actually taking mom to my holiday parties, she's always a hit and I can gossip with her. The only thing is, I'm designated driver, since she has limited mobility.

OneChele said...

No you did NOT say Hershey's put an APB out on you! LMAO

Steve said...

My fam is too out of pocket to just bring any old body around them. A lady would have to be well on her way to being Mrs. Quinlan before I brought her around for the holidays.

GammasWorld said...

Even when I wasn't boo'ed up, I NEVER, EVER wanted holiday cocoa. There is more than enough stress during this time of year for me to be trying to start some cocoa stirring just for the holiday gatherings. New boo would have to be ready to become a part of Gamma's World for real before I'd be bringing him around family and co-workers anyway. Naw, I'll pass on the holiday cocoa -- y'all younguns enjoy yourselves.

Miss-Devin Kemp said...

"I'd be typing this post from my vacation home in Bali. While a cabana boy named Raoul brought me rum drinks in diamond glasses and seafood on a platinum platter." <---*Cackling*

Miss-Devin Kemp said...

That sounds delicious!

maureen palmer said...

I never understood that concept of holiday cocoa, but each to its own. You said it best, "please let the other person know your intentions".

GrownAzzMan said...

Story of my life...LOL

GrownAzzMan said...

DEAD @ 3 missing

GrownAzzMan said...

The best way.

GrownAzzMan said...

"Once you relax you can walk around with a mistletoe necklace and dangle from the chandeliers if you want."

This.Is.Everything.

GrownAzzMan said...

So true. Four seasons FTW!

GrownAzzMan said...

Sounds way to sweet but do you!

brownstocking said...

I am so serious *sniffle*.

Tonda Williams said...

Happy to say that I have NEVER been a holiday hook-up kinda girl because my philosophy is: "If I don't value you enough to spent ordinary time with, I certainly won't include you in my extraordinary plans".

This year is extra..extra..special thanks to New Dude aka "Hood Nerd"....

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