Answer: They all need to go somewhere and sit quietly. Like right now.
1. Elin former Woods now Nordegren: Ma'am - what happened to wanting privacy and not wanting to put anything negative out there that your kids would read later? What happened to that? We get it, you were a victim. Tiger done did you wrong. Now take your money and go sit down. [that sound you hear is me gritting my teeth against what I truly want to say but won't because I was raised well]
2. Glenn Beck: I'm sorry, do I hear this correctly? You are "taking back" MLK's legacy and "restoring honor" to the dream? And it just so happens to be on the anniversary of the "I have a dream speech"? Now matter well I was raised, I have to say this: Sir, you need your ass kicked. Repeatedly. [that sound you hear is MLK flip-flopping in his grave and shouting down from heaven, "I died for THIS? What part of the dream is this shiggity?" Yes, he said shiggity]
3. Fantasia: Baby girl, no. Whoever is
pimping handling you is doing you wrong. You do not need to be all over the TV and airwaves talking about your woes. You need to relax, relate, release and refuel. Stop letting them make you the victim. Please take your life back and get some help. I'm begging you. [that sound you hear is me paging Oprah or Dr. Phil or somebody to intervene on this girl's behalf]
Okay, I'm better now. Thoughts on my thoughts? Got anybody else you would like to sit on down for a minute? Do share.