Friday, July 16, 2010

No Shiggity: Gloom and Doom

My least favorite people on this Shiggity List are folks that can never see the silver lining. It's all black cloud no glimmer of sun. Negative Ned, Gloomy Glenda, Sorrowful Sue, Morose Marcus - the whole lot of them make me tired.

Okay so bad things happen in this world, I get that but does focusing on the half-empty side of the glass ever help? I think not. Take the case of a sorta-friend. We used to be close but she wore me out. Everything was some drama bordering on tragedy and I realized that I would leave her presence exhausted and wrung out but exhilarated to be getting away. I moved her to my "talk to you twice a year" list. Here was our conversation from a few days ago:

Me: Hey Girl, heard you got a new job. Congrats!
Her (sighing): They are working me like a damn slave and I'm underpaid.
Me: Well, at least after nine months you found something... that's a blessing.
Her: Not hardly, between gas and childcare and my nerves I barely break even.
Me (changing subject): How are the kids?
Her: Those little monsters like to drive me crazy.
Me (trying to keep it positive): But everybody's healthy?
Her: Yeah girl, shoot - eating me out of house and home.
Me (sensing I just need to hit the Eject button on the whole conversation): Well... okay. Just checking in to make sure everything is everything.
Her: Did you ever finish that book?
Me (rolling eyes, she only got  all 12 emails I sent out about it): Yeah, it's in stores now. 
Her: Anybody buying it?
Me (biting tongue that's already in cheek): One or two folks. 
Her: I would pick it up but you know my money's tight. 
Me: Um-hmm, well if you ask nicely I'll see about getting you a promo copy.
Her: Why didn't you say that in the first place? We could get together for some drinks this weekend?
Me (thinking Heckie Naw): Oh my time is tight right now but I'll drop it in the mail.
Her: You seeing somebody?
Me (not wanting to get into it): Working on it.
Her: He probably ain't about sh!t, just like the rest of them. You know T is marrying that young girl he left me for.
Me (five years ago he left!): It's been a few years.
Her: Anyway, don't make my mistake and marry a pretty boy. They are only in it for themselves.
Me (thinking T was not all that pretty): You know I don't like to fight for mirror time with the fellas.
Her: Well don't end up with a ruffneck either, my sister just had to file charges on her man.
Me (remembering why I backed away before): Well thanks for calling girl - stay well.
Her: Call me when you break up and are ready to go out again.
Me (gritting teeth): Nice. Bye girl.

Why's it got to be so hard? I know life has kicked us all in the tail a time or two but the bitter bitchiness... not attractive. We've talked about Bitterness before so I'll just leave off here. Try a smile people. Power of positive thinking. A please, a thank you, a have a nice day. Every now and then try sunshine and Skittles.

Have a lovely weekend, feel free to share your thoughts...


Ebonee said...

I was just about bitch about my week on my blog but I won't now! I'll think of something more positive to say :)

Jeanette.Nicole said...

Holy hayzeus! That whole conversation was I too have a person like this in my life. More often than not I get a doom doomish email, text, or tweet from her & I'm like...honey, no. Your life is what you make it & if you keep sitting around here bemoaning the fates and how they've cursed you so, it will not get better. No matter how much positivity I blast at her, she shoots back 10x gloom. It's terribly hard to even hold a conversation with her, so I've just stopped trying. Hopefully she'll get the hint.

I think the problem is that somewhere there are people who commiserate with these "Down in the dumps Dianas/Davids" & that's why their attitude never changes. Personally, I prefer to keep that mess out of my life. Like you said, life has kicked us all in the teeth a time or two, but that's no reason to wear a perma-scowl and be on Grumpy Bear steez.

Crystal said...

I also had a friend like this. We met in art school and hit it off instantly, but his Debbie Downer (as a mutual friend calls him) attitude just got worse. I had to distance myself from him, which is sad because I absolutely love him when he is not being negative (which is not that often). Our mutual friend cut off all ties to him, won't even facebook friend him, which I understand. I get down sometimes, I actually use to be a Debbie Downer myself in my early 20's but I know now that life is just too juicy, too sweet, too wonderful, rich and too short to be negative all the time. It is ok to be upset, but then you dry your tears, get up and grateful and get moving!!!! Life is such an enormous gift!!!!!

KG said...

Oh wow. I honestly applaud you for making it through that conversation. That was just all kinds of rough. Life slaps us all in every direction but come on now; it's just exhausting psychologically damaging to go through life with that attitude. It's fine to vent now and again but to be so negative all the time? Not a good look.

It seems like you should move her to your 'speak to you once a year or every 18 months' category. Twice a year is too much And her knocking down all men? That was so harsh.

Shahlex said...

She's bad news. I've been weeding those people out of my life and placing them in the "every so often talk to" list also. It's the random people who crack me up (because I don't have to be around them for too long).

Example: The train stalls while I am on my way to work this morning. All of a sudden, some woman from the other end of the car starts yelling about the messed up trains, we are going to be here for hours, and how she's already an hour late and yada, yada, yada. Her teen age children are telling her to be quiet. ( I am sure they were embarrassed, but probably used to her annoying, gloomy, outbreaks.) Then she proceeded to yell about all the negatives of this situation for a good few minutes. An example of a person who feels the need to amplify the bad in a situation when you have no control over it anyway. She was already late, so who cares if she is even later? Was it really that serious? I think not...

This Time Now said...

Can you say the word "Drain". I need a V8 after reading this, she has depleted me of a significant amount of my daily vitamins. I christen her "Drano"! Whew! Women like this, I stay far away from. Unfortunately I have a relative that I love dearly but this her through and through. She has raised three beautiful children, two that have received full scholarships to college and one who more than likely follow suit as he is just as smart as his twin sisters. I wonder at times, how can she raise such positive, incredible young citizens and be one the most negative, emotionally draining individuals I know? Now when I call her I ask about her and the kids, her mother and say that I love her and I hang up the phone. Duration of call? : Four minutes. Peace of mind upon hanging up: Endless.

All Honey said...

Ugh - I have a sorta-friend just like that. It's all about her and it's never good.

ASmith said...

Chele, I ain't even make it to the bottom because she was getting on my damn nerves.

I can't stand these folks. Why haven't you ONE good thing to say about your life? If it's that bad homegirl, you need to get'chu some Jesus and pray. That or try something, ANYTHING different about your regular day-to-day.

That mess runs my blood pressure SKY high.

derek love said...

My father is a glass half empty guy - Son, you know that job don't pay much? You know that car is overpriced? You better be saving, trouble comes round every corner... Very encouraging. It's his way but if Mom wasn't an over-the-top optimist we'd all be in therapy.

JaymeC said...

People this far down just want to drag you down to their level of misery. They get the two minute - Be Blessed! conversation and then just keep it moving.

Troy said...

I have to shut down Lame Life Leroy all the damn time. Hatin' Ass Henrietta and dem need to move aside.

Ole Skool Crew said...

I had TWO of these people in my life a few years ago, and I could only deal with the coworker. And I know where she gets it from; one day she complained that her mother only called to complain and never had anything good to say. ALMOST laughed in her face.

The friend who would only call me to complain (and cut off any attempts of me to talk) went to voicemails, text and emails.

Now I'm going out in the 100-degree heat to SMILE and LAUGH!

Steve said...

"Sunshine and Skittles" <--- Stealing it.

Evansaw said...

Thank you for the reality check. When you get too negative, negative follows you like a cloud. We all need to be reminded to look at the bright side. Good post today......

thinklikeRiley said...

Hate whiny ass bitches.

Suzie S said...

Is it bad that I'm equally irritated by Super Sunny People. Not regular happy but head in the sand can't see reality happy. Like Cheerleader on Speed Happy - it's too much for me.

OneChele said...

LOL! "Cheerleader on Speed" - yes, that would be over the top gleeful.

beingruth said...

Yep, know people like this. *sigh* I quit a job once when a boss was like this every day. She didn't criticize my work, just the world, life, things never working out, etc. Got out of there before I got too depressed OR turned into her (sometimes she'd talk about me having her job down the road and the thought of being her scared the heck out of me).

Also, the "sunshine and skittles" made me laugh since my blog tagline is "sunshine & Cthulhus" which is how a friend described me.

akilah said...

I am crying and laughing at this cause lawd knows I'm trying to dodge my negative bullet of a cousin now. I swear they can just zap that last little bit of energy you have and all you try to do is live a positive life.

I can't stand someone to complain about every damn thing but act helpless about their circumstances. Life is a series of choices and consequences. Bad things happen but I choose to see the silver lining.

great post


YardieChicie said...

The SNL writers couldn't have come up with something better if they tried. Have mercy! I even heard the Debbie Downer music in my head when I read her lines!

Nic said...

I extracted someone from my life just like her about three months ago. We used to be friends years ago and I guess it was long enough ago that I'd forgotten why I let her go.

So, silly me I allowed the friendship door to open again, only for it to slam me in my face. Whew, did she wear me out. Complaining, whining and hating on me! I had to free her and me from the madness.

Wonderful post! Maybe I should forward it to my "used to be" friend lol

The_A said...

Her: Call me when you break up and are ready to go out again.


Kandia said...

LOL!!!! tried your damndest to turn those lemons into lemonaid and she just wasn't having it.

EMD87 said...

OMG was just on the phone Friday with one of these types! Then she called me back on Sunday, needless to say she went to voicemail. Twice in one weekend? I think not!!!

Vonnie said...

lmaoooo, what a SOUL DRAIN! I mean really, I can't see why you wouldn't want to hang with her all day and why she doesn't have a man. Wow, I know I can have my down in the dump moments but good lord!


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