So… Jill Scott/Maxwell concert last night… all manner of brilliance on stage. Quote of the night from Maxwell: Girl deactivate your facebook account cause the only thing that's going to be poking you tonight is me. I think the longer he's on tour, the more freaky he's getting. Some chick hurled her drawers at the stage before he'd sung half a note, he sniffed them and tucked them away. [eww!] He did a super-sexy rendition of 'Til the Cops Come Knockin' – Amen. Jilly did Jill. She is a force to be reckoned with. Have never heard her hit a bad note. Ever. Her version of Golden brought a little tear to my eye.
For my Dallas peeps, if you want to know where all the gorgeous, well-dressed single ladies are – you shoulda come to the Maxwell concert. Seriously. Okay, as for me…
First up, more people that I know work for a particular global financial services company than I realized. Like New Dude. We were in one of their corporate suites (living life as it's supposed to be lived) when I ran into three people I know. Including a VP that I disliked and a woman I thought I had fired from said company. Interesting but no big deal.
New Dude's ex-wife also works for said financial company. She lives in a state far, far away yet managed to somehow be at this concert, in this suite, on this night. As I told New Dude - it's my dating juju. Think of the most ridiculous "how could it happen" scenario and I find myself in it. Whoever I did wrong in the past that is causing karma to snapback on my ass now, I offer my sincerest apologies to you. I want good juju again.
Anyway. New Dude's Ex is gorgeous. I can't even front. Old girl is model quality gorgeous, almost six feet tall and damn near flawless to look at. I, on the other hand, needed spanx to get into my outfit, my makeup was melting a little and my hair hit the humidity and went straight to Chaka Khan's I Feel For You video look. Let's just say between the animal print, the melty eye makeup and the hair do, I was looking "exotic". Moving on…
New dude had no idea she'd be there and clearly she had no idea he'd be there. They both stood stone still in horrified dismay upon seeing each other. It was like a stand-off at sunset in an old western... where two people face off other waiting to see who's going to pull the trigger first. Awkward. And then there was the little issue of me. New Dude's ex came with a female coworker and was not cool (at all) to see New Dude with a date. I had to think back, they've been divorced for two years and were separated for nine months before that. Still clearly some issues...
I could tap dance around it but point blank – she was b!tchy. B!tchy to the point where New Dude's Sr. VP offered us the private platinum suite that he was holding for someone else. Yes, she was that bad. (We took the new suite - gorgeous!) I don't know what their story was but she is clearly not in a good place with the "moving on - what's past is past - Let Go/Let God" of it all. Just snippy with the verbal dart-throwing and taking every opportunity to be unpleasant. Here's a quote from her to him, "So do you think you moved up or down the food chain with this one?" His reply to her, "My response would be ungentlemanly and would hurt your feelings." Good answer on his part but…
Ladies, why ya gotta act like that? What does being nasty to your ex and/or his next do for you? No bueno. Not in the short term or the long run. In public? In front of your co-workers? I'm just wondering ladies, have you done this? Given your ex the stink eye mean mug while talking smack out the side of your neck? And if so, why? Because now I'm wondering, damn! What causes a response like that? Or is she just crazy? BougieLand, your thoughts on the subject please.
Next up, we're at the CVS after the concert feeding my Fiji Water addiction. Random dude walks past and says, "How you doin' tonight?" I give him my standard reply, "I'm great thanks for asking." I add the smile and keep it rolling. New Dude is contemplating whether he wants to stay up and do some work (Energy drink) or just shut it down for the night (White Tea Peach Snapple). While we are standing there discussing beverage choices, Random Dude circles back around. He reaches between the two of us (without an 'excuse me') to grab something out of the cooler. While standing between me and New Dude, with his back to New Dude he says, "Can I get you something while I'm in here?" My clueless butt doesn't think anything of it so I say, "No, I'm good." Random Ninja leans towards me and says, "Are you sure?" *blinkety blinkety blink* Out of the corner of my eye I see New Dude take a step back into the "Am I going to have to shut down some Negro Nonsense up and through here" position with an eyebrow uptick and a side-eye. So I fall back and say firmly, "I'm all good. Can't think of a thing you could do for me." Random Ninja shrugs, grabs his drink, has nerve enough to grin at New Dude and bounces.
Now let me just say, I'm not THAT kinda cute. I'm not "roll up on her in the CVS even though she's with somebody" cute. So my question is…
Fellas? Where Dey Do Dat At? What's the reasoning behind rolling up even if a girl is clearly otherwise occupied? Isn't that against some sort of man-code? Don't ya'll talk about this in the locker room? What possible reason is there to almost get your ass kicked reaching for a 20-ounce bottle of Dr. Pepper on a Tuesday night? BougieFellas, have you done this? BougieLadies, have you had this happen to you? People please explain the unauthorized, unsolicited roll-up on otherwise occupied persons? Your thoughts please.
The Floor Is Yours.
p.s. All drama aside, we had a great time.
34 comments:
I'm glad you added the last line about having a good time. For a minute there, I was thinking you were in definite need of a hug. Good glory. The EX on the second date? You'd think it was a scene from your next book :-) We know all that glitters is not gold and clearly from her attitude the glitter is not going very deep for her at the present at least. Maybe for date 3, and I'm assuming there is one?, you should go to dinner some where off the beaten path where no ghost of lives past can find you. And I wouldn't spend too much time thinking on why the EX is so hostile. Let the man speak for himself though his actions and words in the present. I think his response was very classy. OK. I'm giving you a virtual *hug* anyway and I hope you have a splendid day.
Guilty of inappropriate holla back in my youth. I figured why the hell not go for it? Worst case, she said no and I had to duck her man. Best case, I get my chance with girl. Of course then you start to wondering about the kind of chick that would be with one guy and step to another...
Last time I saw the ex, I was not pleasant. Then again, he owes me over $5k in back child support and was wining and dining new chick. So... I lost it for a minute. Then I pulled it back, snapped a photo and sent it to my attorney.
He sniffed panties when I saw him in STL, too. Nasty as hell, but bless his freaky heart... Bless it. Maxwell could get it about 6 ways, 8 days a week. Yes he could. ::fans self::
Idk why women act a fool like that, except that it's that age-old make you feel how I feel. They feel embarassed so they want to embarass you. They feel betrayed, so they wanna punch you in the face (see the correlation?). That's really all I can figure, but I'm still baffled as to why grown-ass women do that. Hello. Don't you have way more to lose? Like...oh...your job? Your credibility? Your REPUTATION? O_o. Stop it.
And I'm glad you got to see Maxy and Jilly from Philly. Awesome concert...just awesome... Who was the opening act?
WoW... I was waiting for the Bougie Tale of the concert date, but I certainly wasn't expecting this. OneChele, if New Dude is not the man for you, I honestly don't know who is. Seriously. First date, was "meet the family", second date, was "Oops, meet the angry ex who is still carrying a torch", so the third date is definitely going to be a charm. I'm going to come right out now and say, I'm predicting marriage for you two. :-)
The snarly, b*tchy, utterly classless behavior by the ex-wife in such a public setting, is just confirmation to me that my long held belief that the insidious nature of reality TV is contributing to the erosion of society, is absolutely right. It used to be that only a certain class of individuals thought nothing of clowning and acting a complete fool in public. But nowadays, everyone is getting in on the act.
I applaud New Dude for being such a gentleman in not only defending you, but also how he shut his ex down in such a dignified manner, that left no doubt to how he was feeling about the situation.
The ex may be very attractive, but all the makeup in the world is obviously no help whatsoever in hiding a hateful, spiteful, ugly personality. I'm willing to bet that the ex is the talk of the office today, but not in a good way.
Sending you a big virtual *hug* from Down Under.
Damn, you got some serious juju!! Why write fiction when you can just write your life story?!?!('Heard it All Before' was an awesome read ,by the way!, I'm actually reading it again on my random beach days, can't wait for the next one !) Glad you had fun though, Jill Scott is a goddess and her live show is beyond amazing. This new dude seems like a gentleman and a keeper. good luck
No need to ask why they divorced; her actions that night in public. Imagine her in a disagreement behind closed doors.
Dude at CVS is just insecure and looking for a reason to live, and in some cases, to die.
Misery loves company. The Ex is obviously not happy in her life and she certainly didn't expect him to be happy enough to be dating. Shrug it off. He seems like a nice guy and he's into you. Let's hope the third date is peaceful.
As a woman with a lot of male family members that I hang out with, this does not seem shady. He may not have immediately assumed you were on a date. Maybe your body language towards New Dude did not indicate coupledom. Or, he could just be shady and didn't give a F*.
Oh, and obviously you are THAT kind of cute! Work it!
Chele, i'm sorry but I had to laugh my a** off for a moment. too much in 1 night. Clearly new dude's ex has not moved on, and she couldn't help herself when she came with all that ugly out of her mouth. I can understand it, i'm not defending it, i just can understand it. She was caught off guard, and she was pissed. I'm a little in the place right now, that if I saw him and his new chick (who wears entirely too much make-up) my knee jerk reaction is to call her a skank, probably to her face. But then I have to remember that I don't want him anymore, its over for a reason, and he's not my problem anymore. It's all about being in the place to remember you're a grown woman, and ugly behavior is unbecoming and unproductive. As for CVS ninja, well i'm sure he's not really a "man" so he doesn't play by the rules. too funny though, lol
I must be sheltered...I dont know these people. No wait...sure I do. My bad...I brush them off my shoulders so fast I tend to forget.
First of all, let me say I'm happy (and jealous) you enjoyed the concert (I'll miss them in DC next week!). Secondly, the reason New Dude's Ex behaved that way is because she is jealous...of you. (No matter how "bad" we think we look, there is always somebody out that sees something we don't; I'm sure you looked great!) She obviously doesn't have any hometraining, because who behaves that way in public with their co-workers around??? (But they probably already know she's a little itchy with a b in front of it, anyway.) And it's also obvious her homegirl doesn't have any hometraining anyway, because she would have shut her down after her first inappropriate remark (or before she even uttered her a sound). So just know she's hating (she knows he upgraded), and enjoy New Dude! I've never acted that way when seeing an ex; what's the point? I smile, say "Hi!", and keep it moving.
Okay, keep an eye on her. She is clearly still a little too invested.
OK, I can post now. Basically, as I said on Twitter, it sounds like HE left HER and she's still feelin' some kinda way about it because she clearly views herself as "the catch." She's still sorting out how he could leave HER while not taking into account her ratchetassness as a factor.
As for dude in the store, your body language may have indicated friend rather than lover so dude decided to try you.
I've felt the anger and hostility of New Dude's Ex but there's no reason to air it out in public. Break ups are ugly things but it how you handle them in the long run that really lingers.
CVS guy just stupid.
"My response would be ungentlemanly and would hurt your feelings." is beyond perfect! Well played.
I've seen that very bad behaviour from both sexes countless times. It's the way certain people are wired and it's unfortunate.
I have had that CVS experience but at the time I was dating somebody a little crazy so it did not go well for the random guy.
Wow girl. Let's hope you are getting all of the drama out of the way early.
Ha! Thank you. Enjoy the re-read.
Ha! Thank you. Enjoy the re-read.
I had just gotten used to the comment section, did it change?
Anyway, New Dude handled both situations the best way he could. And again, he's fortunate you are not one to fly off the handle. Could've been ugly.
I applaud both of you for rising above the nonsense. Like someone said below, maybe you're getting all of shiggity out of the way early?!
Ounds to me like she was put on the spot with her friend there and all that. She probably has been telling everybody how New Dude couldn't get over her and he was going to be alone forever, blah, blah, blah. Then he shows up with you in all your fabulousness (you know you were working it!) Her face was on the ground getting stepped on and all she could do was make snarky lame-assed comments about the quality of his date. He did the right thing by not turning it into a game of the dozens, and by the sound of things, her friend has most likely told everyone how she had to pick her face up off the ground and brush the footprints off her ego. Meh - you moved on, had fun, and that is all that mattered.
Ok, yes, I have given the stink eye to my ex on several occasions. I was out one night and he was suppose to be watching our children. I was like, "where are the boys?". He had taken them to his cousins house and dropped them off. Then there is the fact that I have ran into him and he has been with stank girl who would call me up and harass me when he was cheating on her. So most of the time I was entitled to give the lovely stank eye. Now I doubt if I would do it all. I would probably just say hey and chit chat. You give the stank I return the stank, is all I can say.
Peace, Love and Chocolate
Tiffany
It doesn't matter if New Dude's Ex-Wife is gorgeous...she really does sound like the bitch from hell and I see a lonely future ahead for her. Yay for you trying to make the best of the situation and for not being intimidated with her nonsense.
It seems likes women become even more attractive when they are vibing well with other men. Random Dude must have been desperately hoping that someone like you could give him the time of day...*smh*
I know someone asked if new dude has brothers, what about a sister? And if not, let me try and tame the Ex-Wife Shrew? Hook a brother up. LOL.
Don't let OneChele fool you - she's gorgeous (if I do say so myself). Glad that New Dude handled his business. Strong sideeye to the Ex and Random guy... le sigh. Positive thoughts for an enjoyable and drama-free date #3.
Yes, apparently Disqus is pushing some upgrades to the system today.
Dude, you stay hustlin' for the hook up on BnB. Up your pimp game.
My boyfriend's ex is the same way. Evil for no good reason I can see. I ignore her and stay out of her way.
On the surface, sniffing panties does not sound too horrible, but under deeper investigation, anybodies ol'panties could be cause for alarm. Let's turn the table. Lets say my woman was on stage, right. Then, up in the sky, a nasty pair of boxers came flying to the stage. Okay, now if my lady even touched those nasty nut holders (which could have all sorts of residue leaking from them) I'm going to give her the exorcist side-eye. Reaaly, that man didn't know if those panties came from NayNay's butt or Big Bob's Booty, That's just plan nasty! He might need a check up.
Now, @ the convience store: Now, real old school says it's the lady's job to shut down the Sweet Sweet Back. Really, we all know there's no rules to engagement to this relationship game(in the street). Are you kidding me? A smell of purfume and a quick glance is all some bothas need.
Plus, if "push-up dude" is bold enough to holla with new dude standing their, that's the sign of a disrespectful zip fool and they're all around. As the song said, "that the way love goes"
So, if OneChele does her best "teach someone how to treat you" trick, bold a$$ Sweet Sweet Back cadilac, will accept it better from her than ol'boy. You don't want to put your man in a position of the biggest ego or trying to talk sensibly with a fool. Now, if Sweet Willie gets too raggety with OneChele, then it's time to move to the ghetto zone. Yep, "look here mfer, get back!"
Re: The Ex with the Ex. Well, that's all New Dude's job. We never know what evil lurks in the heart of both ex's. Chele, you did right. Exit stage left. Strange put true, sometimes the "newbie" baaaaby(lover), is the first one knock out if a fight breaks out. Hey, ya never know "New Guy" until you really know New Guy. He could be winking and blinking from the back seat.
Oh, Chele, what kind of car was dude (in convience store)driving? Please don't tell me he was walking or hollering from the scrub seat?
I'm an offical Maxwell stalker; I saw him in concert twice last year and going to see him again next Friday & he goes in hard. I love his band too. Jill Scott is the real deal, I once drove from DC to Florida to see her in concert, can't wait till 6/18.
I was reading your date recap and crossing my fingers you did not go Vivica Fox on her (3 can play that game, that scene Vivica's character punched Gabriel Union's character). Can we file New Dude ex under "ratchetassness"? Glad to hear New Dude handled the situation with great poise & dignity. I see marriage too, ok I'm doing extra.
CVS dude deserved "mama said I knock you out" in LL Cool J voice.
LOL funny post. Thanks for sharing. Love your writing style
OMG that is so ridiculous and uncalled for. I don't understand why people act like that. I had similar situations back in college when hanging around guy friends girls have stood right in front of me and start talking. I just ignore them cause obviously they have an issue and need to prove something. idk They weren't my man to get upset over. *shrugs* I will not let some low self esteem bitch get me out of character.
New Dude can handle himself and he demo'd that twice in one night. *Bravo!* His ex can't believe that anyone would leave her, and then have the nerve to move on and not look back. Ugly ways will make anyone forget how pretty or fine you are - Grandma said that a long time ago :( That she acted so ugly in the presence of senior management shows that she lives in a world of one!!
I had a friend who was that girl in the comedy club (instead of CVS), and dude walked out of the club to the car with her AND the guy that brought her to the comedy club, and proceeded to get the digits! Her date was dignified throughout the whole thing. She and second dude got involved, but karma does come back and he dumped her in a very public way!
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