Wednesday, June 23, 2010

A blog bites back…


So… earlier in the week, Leslie visited the blog and saw where I pretty much had her and her ex-boyfriend Vince on blast. On a sad note, she said that reading what he said about her stung. On a good note, she said reading what he said about her dropped the scales from her eyes and caused her to see the light in a way she might not have without my bloggy blabbing. All's well that ends well? Ends justify the means?

Late last night I get a Facebook email from a former subject of an EpicFAIL BougieTale. I'm not picky about my Michele Grant account because I want everyone in the world to go buy my book. Unless the profile is super objectionable, I generally accept all friend requests… the better to beat folks over the head about buying it and two for your friends. So I honestly can't even say when I accepted this dude's friend request. I do know I haven't thought about it in more than a minute. In case you're wondering, I wrote an Open Letter to this guy after a tragic date.

If you don't have time to go back and read it, basically I pulled Dude's player card for trying to lure me to his house instead of taking me out. I did go by his house to pick him up and it was ridiculous. He had his laptop open with a screensaver slideshow of women in stages of undress around his house. He had some random chick's bra hanging on the bathroom door. We got to the movie and he was Facebooking some other girl to come out and "close the deal." I needed no more. I switched his name to "Ah Heckie Naw" in my BlackBerry and set the phone to auto-ignore his texts. Wrote the post, chuckled over the comments and moved onto the next.

Well I guess my Michele Grant Facebook account posts the blog updates (though I thought it was only on the BnB Fan Page). Apparently, he clicked on one post and started surfing around. Now I have put up 437 posts since BnB launched last year. What are the ODDS that Idiot Ninja falls across the one post about his trifling behinds? Oh, I almost forgot about my juju/karma issues – of COURSE he found it and knew it was him right away.

Enraged email was entitled: "I ought to sue your bougie ass." Well that's just not polite, is it? Quite an unbougie way to reinsert yourself into my world. Allow me to continue to share the lowhighlights, my commentary is in brackets.

You made me sound like some kind of perverted loser. [If it talks like duck and walks like a duck…]

All I ever wanted to do was get to know you. [Naked, get to know me naked]

Some of the things you said were over the top and hurtful. [Only some?]

After reading that, I wondered what I ever saw in you. [Big boobs, long hair, cute smile. That. Is. All.]

You are not at all who you represent yourself to be. [Pot/kettle introduce thyselves and call it noire]

What was it about the naked pictures that bothered you? That you weren't in them? [**crickets**]

I guess since you never used my name, I can't really sue. [First correct thing you've said so far]

But you should warn anybody you hang out with that they could just end up as blog fodder. [All the important people know already]

Good luck finding a man to put up with you. [Thanks, I'm working on it.]

I'm sure you'll understand if I defriend you now. [Deuces. I'm sure you'll understand if I blog about this tomorrow?]

Bye. [Buh-bye now]

So I will admit that the one-two punch of Leslie and Idiot Ninja made me wonder if I should either stop blogging about real stuff that happens or if I should warn every random person I roll past that anything they say can and will be used against them in the court of Bouge? And then I came back to myself. My family, my best friends, and New Dude all know about the blog. And if I decide to talk about them, I ask first. Everyone else is fair game.

Moral to this story? Act right and I won't have to turn you into the BougieTale Blast of the week? Ha! No, I already think twice (and then thrice) before I post things and I try to keep it as anonymous as possible. Apparently, I need to try harder.

Thoughts, comments, insights. Should I just start blogging recipes, movie reviews and political commentary? The floor is yours…

35 comments:

ASmith said...

Yes, yes... the personal blogger's quandary.

How do you not blog about these people in your life when they're the ones that get you to thinking about any and every part of this whole life/living/human interaction thing?

On one of my first blogs (where I really took the time to chronicle what was happening in my life) I spent a lot of time talking about my then-boyfriend. I can't tell you the fights that we had about that. Nobody was reading the damn thing but him (I thought) but he was LIVID. He would tell me "you only do this to make me look like an ass in front of your friends..." Maybe I did, I'm not terribly sure but at the time I swore that wasn't the point.

Idk, Chele. I think you keep things pretty anonymous and ol' dude sounds like he's really more upset that you held a mirror up on his actions than anything else. It's hard to see yourself get put on blast. No one would really like it, but it's the real life stories that are part of the appeal of BougieLand. It's part of why people come back. It's your blog, dammit. Talk about what you want.

Ol' dude can get a blog to write his version of the events if he needs to feel vindicated.

Sarah said...

It has been quite a week here and it's only Wednesday :-) You are who you are. Writing stories is what you do. A fair bit of literature involves illustrating people's foolishness. And one of the points is for us to see ourselves in it and contemplate the wisdom of our actions. If Mr. Ninja is smart, he will pause for a thought about why he ended up in the story in the first place. I'm glad you told New Dude about the blog. I guess that is one way of telling someone about your dating history :-)

Ola said...

I say just do you. You change the names to protect the innocent/stupid. There's no way I would recognize any of these people if I actually met them in real life.

MidWestDominicana said...

Seems like that would be a typical blogger's problem. My husband keeps pushing me to start a blog but I worry that 1) no one would read it, but if they did, 2) some people would be offended and 3) someone will counter-blog about me! I know those probably sound like shallow worries, but it's still true. The most interesting stuff is the stuff that's real, the stuff that people can relate to or at least live vicariously through.

At any rate, I agree with ASmith...do yo' thang girl. This is YOUR blog.

If it's worth anything to Leslie, she sounds like a wonderful lady who is on her way to better things in her love life and no one would know who she was except maybe the directly involved parties. How many people haven't been in her shoes?

Leon X said...

I don't believe Dude From Last Night is mad you talked about him, but you that you talked about him doing stupid things. Surely if you wrote about how great the night was he'd write e-mails titled "I Ought To Send Your Bougie Ass Roses" or "I Ought To Take Your Bougie Ass To See Esperanza Spalding." The moral of the story kids is refrain from doing silly stuff and phasers won't be set to "on blast."

tiffanyinhouston said...

Hit dogs holla. Keep right on blogging as you were.

SingLikeSassy said...

Actually I have one more thing to say: dude displayed some bitchassness when he sent that email.

Now, boy bye.

P.S. I can't wait to read Riley's comment on this.

SingLikeSassy said...

Boy bye.

rozb said...

He is a tool. A real ass hat for sure. Just tell him Bye fool!

rozb said...

BTW - I like recipes. Blog about recipes you think about when you happen to be out with big A-holes like this guy. Probably good strong drink recipes...

David Chase said...

Ratchetassness too.

Alisha said...

LOL! I guess he'll read this post, too. I always toil over whether or not I should blog about some people anonymously. It makes for interesting posts, but I still haven't made up my mind about it. Wack dates suck, but they make great stories.

OnlyMe said...

Girl damn, your karma is no joke! The beauty of BnB is that you tell it with humor. Sucks to be him but like you said, he should've acted right.

OneChele said...

They really do. Perhaps he could consider elevating his game beyond the wack level? Then I wouldn't be compelled to write about it ;-)

OneChele said...

Points score for the Esperanza Spalding shout out.

DC Dating Diva said...

Ahhhhh, it's been awhile since I commented...but I do know your pain...and actually, everything I say is true, so if someone happens upon something they don't like, maybe they will think about their actions in the future...oh & I do change the names to .... so keep blogging, it's free therapy!

OneChele said...

New Dude says he's not ready to read it yet. I agree with him. He should wait.

SingLikeSassy said...

+2 on ES. When I grow up I want to play bass.

Neeleyjonea said...

Honesty, truth, realness and hilarity is what makes your blog so unique and entertaining...if you allow this tool to make you second guess yourself, than you will lose the essence of what makes you great! Seeing/reading who you are through other ppls eyes can be a 'mofo' and it looks like he just got his first dose of reality. Ahh well, his embarrasment is our entertainment... I suggest he take two doses of act right, humility and ninja please! ;-)

JaymeC said...

No he didn't! No. He. Did. Not. That's nervy. He's so lucky you didn't post his follow-up texts and voicemails. Idiot Ninja indeed.

Deesha said...

What an idiot.

I bet I can translate what he means by "You are not at all who you represent yourself to be." He means that because you are pleasant and not all loud & boisterous, he assumed that meant you were too naive to have peeped his card and certainly too "nice" to put him on blast. Why don't folks realize that still waters run deep, every shut eye ain't sleep, etc., etc.? I'm sure you represented yourself just fine. Truth is: you are not who HE assumed you were (willing to settle for crumbs and dumb shit). Truth hurts, bruh.

thinklikeRiley said...

This dude went from punkish to full out bitch. Bad enough not to deliver enough game to get through a movie date but to bitch about it when you're called out? No son. She pulled your player card, I'm relieving you of whatever balls you had left. Go. Sit. Down.
Effing it up for everydamnbody

SingLikeSassy said...

::snicker::

GrownAzzMan said...

It was completely anonymous and only 'Idiot Ninga knows who he is. That said, as wack as his actions were he is lucky you didn't print his name, physical description and location and proceed directly to dontdatehim.com. Brothas.Got.To.Do.Better.

Troy said...

I was just thinking, what if she posted Idiot Ninja's picture and GPS coordinates with one of her "No Ratchetassness" graphics? Now that would be something to get pissed about. Don't be mad cuz you exposed for what are... even though you really weren't... Wait, what's he mad about?

Did he not see what happened to Lee? That poor bastard.

rozb said...

I didn't think anybody knew about dontdatehim.com anymore! Ha!

Sarah said...

I can imagine it might be too much for somebody who has only known you a month or so. May I be nosy and ask if he is the guy you met in the movie theater that day?

OneChele said...

Yep. ;-)

Diva (in Demand) said...

"I'm sure you'll understand if I defriend you now. [Deuces. I'm sure you'll understand if I blog about this tomorrow?]"

This line has my crying!!!! LOL

OneChele said...

Ha! I couldn't help myself.

JustAThought said...

I'm stealing this, "Pot/kettle introduce thyselves and call it noire", because it induced a five minute belly laugh!

Dude was tripping, and stupid. No bueno, and definately not bougie.

OneChele said...

It is yours. No thievery necessary. ;-)

Suebhoney1125 said...

The truth hurts... He was a buzzard. He's just mad you called him on it. Don't stop giving us the dirt. Maybe one day I will be a post (but only in a good way).
p.s. Hurry up with the next book. :)

YardieChicie said...

Wow....that was.....you really stepped on his corns. XD

This part had me cracking up the most: What was it about the naked pictures that bothered you? That you weren't in them? [**crickets**] Not too bright this one is.

Keep blogging the way you have been. How else am I going to know what to watch out for in the shark tank that is the dating scene?

Nina said...

Enjoy the blog a lot, have been reading for a while.
NOW, before you even asked the question I was quite uncomfortable with the blog.
I've been writing online for about 12 years now. One of my rules is to always protect the identities of people I discuss. On forums where I am anonymous,I may tell the tales and use details such as- my mother, my sister etc.. On forums where I use my name, I never discuss the interactions of myself and people whose identities could be determined from mine.

If a person goes to their friends house and discusses their personal relationship issues they have every expectation of privacy. To post such an intimate conversation online is too much,IMO.

Change the identities, wait till enough time has passed that it makes it harder to figure out whom the story is about. Its unethical and immoral, IMO, to tell people's private business personally if they have not consented to it. Im sure that was not your intent, but now that you realize your being in the public eye also means those areound you are,y ou have an obligation to respect and protect their privacy.

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