Sunday, May 23, 2010

Sunday Good News Story: BougieHousehold minus 1 ½ men

I love my family. I truly do. They can work a good nerve down to the bone but that does not diminish the love. As you may or may not know, when I moved back to Texas from California (has it been six years already?!) I did so with the express purpose of securing a home large (and bougie) enough for me and BougieMom. We found a place with 4 bedrooms (one of which I use as my office), 2.5 baths, two separate living areas, great kitchen, minimal upkeep, energy efficient. We can spend as much or as little time together as we like. Sometimes it works well, other days we stick to our separate floors saying "Good Morning" by the coffee maker and that's that. Some days a little bit of family goes a long way.

That being said… BougieYoungerBro showed up on my doorstep in mid-December needing a place to stay to get his head together for a few weeks. He just moved out this past Friday… bless his heart. He and I have always had a bit of a "us against the world" mentality. Our whol family is very "cradle to grave/womb to tomb". So when his youngest child, three year old BougieNephew3 was in need of temporary daycare for a few weeks, I agree to watch him since I work from home. For a few weeks. Seven weeks later (this upcoming Monday), he's heading to an actual day care for the first time. I will miss having them both underfoot around but glad to see onward and upward progress out of both of them.

Here's some of what I learned:

  1. Grown folks really need their own bathrooms
  2. Three year olds do not like the word "nap" (though I came to love it)
  3. Grown men don't appreciate you telling them to "bust them ashy ankles"
  4. Everybody loves an ice cold juice box
  5. I may be a little more anal than I thought, an on again/off again control freak and a tinsy bit germaphobic
  6. Mothers at the park are hella-competitive (and my nephew wins every time)
  7. Three people with really strong personalities and opinions makes for interesting times.
  8. Girls today are named Madison, Savannah, Taylor and Georgianna – and they all fell in love with BougieNephew3
  9. It is absolutely true that men come home and want a beer, a plate of food and silence.
  10. Kids are great fun when you can send them home at night… same thing with younger brothers

So starting tomorrow, it's back to just BougieMom and me. It will be interesting going back to a house that says quiet, crayon-free with toilets seats down. Whatever shall I do? J Truthfully, the glee on BougieYoungerBro's face when he rolled out told me he was just as happy to be leaving as I was to see him go. It's all love though.

This week, I'll only be posting "shorts" (brief updates) because it's deadline time again. I have a short story called "White Mocha" due to my publisher by June 1.

As a grown-up now, I've lived with my folks, my Mom, my sister and my younger brother. Have not attempted living with my older brother, I suspect we'd come to blows or quit speaking all together. Tell me BougieLand, could/have you lived with family as a grown-up? How'd you do? Would you do it again? Do share…


JaymeC said...

Ooo! I didn't know you were closing up Bougie DayCare and Chele's NoTell Motel all at once. Go girl!
As for me, I love my family but no... they can't stay past 4 days. Johnnie Cochran is dead, who will get me out?

Leon X said...

When I was in NY my sister and I got along great. Mostly because I stayed to myself and made sure she paid bills on time. My current condition has me with my mom in SC. This experience has taught me that it is hard for two adults to live in the same space. Especially when one adult gave birth to the other.

OneChele said...

Amen and Amen. Oh, and did I say Amen?!

diamond life said...

My younger brother moved in and we didn't make it two weeks. For some reason, he confused my kindness with me being his personal maid, cook and laundress. No sir. I talked ot him about it twice then I set his stuff by the front door with a note "move to Mama's"

RoyalLee said...

My brother stayed with me for a month. We have different views about cleanliness and ownership of food and beverage. And appropriate behavior after midnight when my daughter is with me... I helped him find a place of his own swiftly.

CurvyJones said...

Have done it. Lord willing will never do it again. I felt like I might kill someone if I didn't move back out. No matter how old you are, if you do not live in your own zip code, my father considers you a child and treats you like one. Chores and everything.

Lawd, no. Nevah again!

Cassie said...

Well God Bless, I lived with my mom for a month. It was terrible. She forgot I was 32... I bit my tongue every morning noon and night. I will sleep in my car before doing that again.

sunt97 said...

Yeah, my mother and I co-habitate. I have my boys too. We try to get along but some days we do the silence thing too. Since she is older I drop her off for her dailies and do my mom thing. She always tells me this is now my house, but she is the first to moan about something or tell me something I shouldn't be doing. But I have the live in sitter and the southern cook.

Peace, Love and Chocolate

Stank_0 said...

Haven't lived with the fam since I finished undergrad and our relationships couldn't be better. Nothing like not being around to make folk like you.

After the two roommates I have now, I'm learning that I may not be able to live with too many people. At all.

ASmith said...

My mom and one of her brothers lived together for probably 30 years, if not more. Basically for as long as she lived in the city I was born in, and with the exception of about a year between when she moved out of his and his wife's house and he got a divorce.

They worked absolutely well together. More than likely, nobody knew my uncle like she did and I'm sure he didn't trust anyone like he trusted her. He died 2 weeks ago (damn, has it been 2 weeks, already) and my poor mother... She's doing ok, but I know she misses him.

However, my mom and I cannot live together. When I go home to visit, by the time I leave, it's ALWAYS time to go. The only way we would survive is if I were to move into the basement apartment -- we HAVE to have our space.

Crystal said...

I hate to say it but I could not live with my father as a grown up (my mom has passed on, but we could have lived together, that would have been very interesting we always had a tendency of fighting, making up then going shopping, laughing, talking eating and watching project runway... and then repeat!!). I love my dad very much, but he has a tendency to think I am still 8 (though I am 30!) and my sis is still 16 (she is 39!!) whenever we are home. I swear, every time I am home for the Christmas holiday I turn into the drunkard relative, just to make it through the day with my dad, so if I lived at home I would be in AA, fo sho!!! Good thing I am a funny and lighthearted drunk.

Crystal said...

BTW I am not a drinker on a regular basis, just a social drinker about a glass or two a month.

t.lynn said...

I live with my little sis and her two kids...we're good. i have my own bathroom and I work alot out of the home. We're friends and we share friends, but we have our own crew too. It's enabled us to save money, and probably later this year I'll be buying something and moving out and on, I know I will miss her when I move.


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