Men themselves have wondered what they see in me. They try so much, but they can't touch my inner mystery. When I try to show them, they say they still can't see.
I say:
It's in the arch of my back, the sun of my smile, the ride of my breasts, the grace of my style.
I'm a woman phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
~excerpt from Phenomenal Woman by Maya Angelou
One of the good things about Twitter is that everybody can share their thoughts on everything.
One of the bad things about Twitter is that everybody can share their thoughts on everything.
You feel me? I thought so.
For the record, I'm not saying women shouldn't be healthy. I have nothing against fitness. I do yoga, cardio-boxing, all flavor of Wii Fitness, and sometimes I do more than give my treadmill a disdainful glance. But I'll never be whisper thin. It's genetically impossible. I'll always be top heavy and I'll always have to do crunches. My metabolism is the kind that reminds me of every single time I give in to a potato chip or M&M. But I recognize this and do what I have to do to keep it together. Bougie means trying to keep your cute up. So when I hear people (and definitely men) going in on women's appearances and specifically their weight it drives me crazy.
Listening to some of these folks would have you thinking that if you aren't a size 2, you aren't fabulous. Seriously, the scrubs almost tricked me into second-guessing my wonderfulness. I was talking with someone last night who had me cracking up saying it's always the scrubby dude acting like they gotta have Halle Berry on their arm and nothing else will do. Though I have to say, most of the fellas – those that I call "real men" that I hang out with here and in the real world - they like a woman with a little curve to her. Some substance. Someone who eats more than two triscuits and a tic-tac. According to a friend on Twitter: Most real men see quality and value. The scrubs are still trying to live out a fantasy. They want a women to make them look good to other men.
Hmpfh. What prompted this rant you may wonder? A few things caught my attention these past few weeks. First was the Lane Bryant commercial that Fox and ABC refused to broadcast saying it was too racy for primetime. You check it out and tell me what you think…
But this Victoria's Secret commercial directed by Michael Bey is less racy? Old girl is straddling a pool table with a long stick...
So why do the Victoria's Secret commercials warrant airtime but not Lane Bryant? Is someone scared of the real women curves? I'll let you marinate on that.
Second was the whole controversy about Gabby Sibide being "less than pleasant" at the White House Correspondents' Dinner and at other functions.
Okay so she's a newly minted "star" who hasn't learned the art of public graciousness yet (and she looks mighty salty here). But with these tales, the media just has to mix in something abot her weight. This phenomenon was outlined in a great post over at (not)HappyAboutThis. Here's an example of what the media has been saying.
"So, who was the weekend's biggest (no pun intended) disappointment so far?"
"Wow! FishbowlDC wasn't alone when we gave "Precious" star Gabby Sidibe a GIGANTIC (no pun intended...okay, that's a lie) thumbs down."
Okay so is the crime that she was acting bitchy? Or that she's fat and bitchy? I'll let you make your own conclusions.
Let me take a minute to touch on the nonsense surrounding "Just Wright". Apparently, some folks (laser beam side-eye) don't think it's believable that a baller would choose a Queen Latifah over a Paula Patton.
Come on already. Are we still here? Queen Latifah is gorgeous at any size. And I think we've all figured out that any man can fall for any woman if that zing hits. No one knows what causes it; if we did we'd bottle it up and auction it on eBay. There no rhyme or reason what makes two people click. Are we really so shallow that we think the size of the outer shell is all that matters?
One of my online mentees was thoroughly offended because her boyfriend cheated on her with an overweight girl. I asked her if she was mad because he cheated or because of who he cheated with? She was more offended that he cheated with someone she perceived as less attractive. She felt insulted. I informed her that what she should be is introspective. When a man cheats with a supposedly less attractive woman that generally means he found something in her beyond the superficial, something he wasn't getting with his current S.O. That, I told her, is a wake-up call.
Part of the aftermath of that stupid Nightline FaceOff shibacle was that some idiot actually said that Sherri Shepherd didn't deserve to get a man because of her weight. And then a whole bunch more idiots co-signed. Say what now? If it is your preference to date women of a certain body type, good on ya and hope it works out. But are you seriously saying that women of a certain size don't deserve love? GTFOH with all of that.
This whole culture where people feel guilty for eating one piece of cake (and tweet about it), when someone in a size 4 thinks she's fat, where some designers still won't make clothing larger than a size 10 when the average size of a woman in this country is a 14 is sheer craziness. The stupid jokes about Precious, the fact that when Erykah Badu's last video came out half of the comments were about her a$$ and perceived cellulite, and really with Kirstie Alley's Big Life?
Le Sigh. I understand that obesity leads to all sorts of health problems and generally doesn't look great. We all agree that longevity is a shared goal and looking decent in clothes is a plus but check this out: In 1953, Jane Russell (a size 18) and Marilyn Monroe (size 14) were the standard of sexy beauty. In 1976, the three Charlie's Angels were a size 6, 8, and 10. The redone Charlie's Angels in 2000 were size 2, 4 and 6. By 2020 are we just going to prop up cardboard cut-outs and call that sexy? I call bullshiggity. I'm over it… I wish everyone would join me there.
Comments, thoughts, rants? Floor is yours…
59 comments:
Get it told! WHY oh WHY did I have a guy tell me I would be "hot if I just lost 20 lbs"? I weigh 136, I'm 5'6" - are you kidding me with that? I've no aspiration to be a size 0 or 2, and I think it's ridiculous what the current standard in Hollywood is. It's unrealistic and dangerous.
Great Post!
I work part-time in Lane Bryant (need to supplement my wardrobe budget, y'know!) and as a size 14/16, I have never looked better! For the record, the women that shop in there mainly have men - as a matter of fact, they are holding the purses, helping to pick out lingerie, and even coming back and going on shopping sprees for their "fluffy" women. I understand that we as a country have an issue with obesity, but it is manifesting itself into an unhealthy obsession with trying to be thin.
When I meet a weight-obsessed man, I tell him I'm hair-obsessed, as in "Got any?" Or razor bump obsessed, or bad breath-obsessed. Then I keep it moving because I don't have the time or space to entertain fools.
We need to concentrate on being healthy, and develop good habits that will carry us through life. I mean...don't we get torn down enough as it is?
Where do I begin....I don't know where this all out assault against Plus Size women began but it's wack, tired and played out. Never has there been a time where Plus Size women are stepping our game with fashion, sex appeal and confidence. You'll have those men that don't find us sexy, but for those 4 that don't i can find 3 that do...Game over for those bustas.
I personally prefer a woman who isn't mentally weighing everything she eats and has some shape to her. I've dated big, small and everything in between...I'm equal opportunity. I need for a woman to do more than look good in tiny clothing anyway. Generally, ya'll stress over extra cushion that's not bothering me in the least... no it is not.
relax, relate, release!! i'm with you on this one. though i am a size 2, i have friends of all sizes and i appreciate the beauty of all of them. it ain't all sunshine on our side either. like you said, men (and apparently women) like curves. i gots none!! never have, probably never will. not only do i have no curves but i have no a$$ either. it has been my experience that heavier women have all kinds of self-esteem. they are fab and they know it and will make sure everyone else knows it too. it's us skinty (yes, skinty) girls that need the reassurance that we are beautiful. the media might praise thin women but our culture praises women 'wit meat on they bones.'
oh, and for the record, i'm a skinny chick that loves to eat! i'm not one of those salad eating chicks either (or two triscuits and a tic-tac). i get tired of folks asking me if i'm anorexic cause i'm a size 2. i eat, dang! where my double stuf oreos at?
{Saying a silent prayer. Breathe, breathe}
I can go all the way in with this topic BUT my "rant" will be longer than onechele's....
I hate, yes I said it, I hate size discrimination. Why do society even care how fat someone is...it's no one business. For some reason people believe its their duty to tell someone what beautiful looks like??? Really??
Also, "obesity" and "overweight" ,which are determine by the (inaccurate) BMI, does not have a look to it. AND NO the images that the media shows are not reliable because there is NO LOOK!! You can't judge someone health by his/her appearance. How does someone with HIV look? I'm waiting.... GTFOH
Let me let you in on a secret: The people who are classify as "obese"; their bodies are not remotely similiar to the images on t.v. {shhh}
We are humans, not numbers on a scale and dress sizes. We all carry our body weight differently. What does size 22 look like? 14? 8? I mean come on people. Serioulsy??? I believe poor nutrition and sedentary leads to all sort of health problems. Not because someone is fat. I think that notion is ridiculous. Oh yeah, there is this crazy idea of "being healthy so you can live longer"...really? Death does not care how healthy or unhealthy you are...it comes regardless..that's the truth.
Fat is beautiful and plus size women do get love. I'm moving on..... {walking away in giuseppe zanotti sandals}
"I understand that we as a country have an issue with obesity, but it is "morphing" itself into an unhealthy obsession with trying to be thin."
I cosign 100%; this is why eating disorders exist and malnutrition.
Your right, the focus needs to be on being healthy and developing good habits. :)
You don;t have to be "skinny" to be fit and you can be on the thin side but not fit at all...so these trolls need to realize everybody is not going to be a size 2, nor would they want to be or look right THAT thin, its not necessary in order to be fit, healthy, fly and beautiful. If I get any smaller than a 4/5 I start to look emaciated/loose all curves my lil onion etc, SMH LOL no bueno.
I think the thing that throws me about the Queen and Common pairing is orientation but hey its acting/a movie and Latifah has always been entertaining than a mofo on screen, all the way back to Juice "the sh*ts WACK, face it" LOL
Gabby needs a better publicist and stylist. There's nothing wrong with that Lane Bryant commercial! I just came down from a 14 to 6 but I will probably settle in at an 8 or 10. I don't want to starve just to fit into something or somebody's ideal.
My current girlfriend (the future Mrs. Skyywalker) is a size 18 and it's all in the right places. She outruns me on treadmills, wears me out you know where and dresses like nobody's business. Wouldn't change a damn thing. My previous girlfriend was a 4. I feel I've upgraded.
Ya'll can have those heavy-assed Lane Bryant chicks, pass the Vicki's girls my way.
I would have bet that Riley would be the first to say something stupid. Let's admit that there's a huge difference between the girls in the Lane Bryant commercial and Gabby Sibide who looks a little uncomfortable on not very healthy. Not everyone is meant to be a 4, 6, 10. But when you start getting 50, 75+ lbs overweight that's different.
I've been gaining and losing the same 25 pounds since college. So it looks like a size 12 is my spot. Now to hold onto it!
Now you know there is something wrong with our society when we move from size 14 to zero. In those veins, size zero makes no sense, and to think they make clothes in size zero makes me sick. FLOTUS is not a zero, 2 or 8 and she looks great, case closed. Granted, we need to fight obesity esp in our kids but the craziness with dress size ought to stop, let's aim for healthy living.
My vice is a cute face. I'm a sucker for a pretty face with a smart brain and could almost care less what the body attached looks like. Man, a pretty-eyed girl who can talk to me and make me laugh? Sign me up.
I gotta tell you, that thick jawn in the Lane Bryant commercial is bad. At first I thought Eva Mendez had finally gotten a lil thicker.
Pure and simple, that commercial is banned because you can't have none size 2 women getting confident about their body image.
There seems to be an all out assault on everyone. The question becomes why? Black women and men and now larger women catching grief. Our brown brethren are being reminded by Arizona that they are unwelcomed. Am I forgetting anyone?
Oh and about being healthy, a study showed that sumo wrestler are generally more healthy than someone smaller. The issue is the fat that may collect around major organs. So the inside is literally what matters.
*facepalm* *headdesk*
::shrug:: I'm 'bout as tired of folks being stupid about weight as I am about folks being stupid about single black woman.
Shut the hell up. That's about all I ever want to say about it, these days.
Are folks seriously, in 2010, dumb enough to proclaim that overweight women don't deserve love? Well, as it so happens, I don't think stupid people deserve it either.
"...I don't think stupid people deserve it either."
.....................................................................
iDied, here lies Foxy Brown.
OMG Chele...I am a lurker, a serious lurker, but today..I gotta comment.
I am an extremely confident curvy and cute sista. I didn't need anyone to tell me this because I already knew. I am also single in Austin, Texas....uhmm..yeah.
I can go anywhere else in the U.S. and meet men...here in Austin...not so much and it's because the men here don't appreciate the thickness. I even had someone tell me...TT...when I talk to you I forget that I don't generally date plus sized women (thinking in my head *you still won't*) but you make a ninja forget everything else because of your intellect and convo......Then my cousin...my dear sweet 30 year old living at home with mama cousin...calls me last week and goes..."TT...you have so much confidence to be a big girl... please tell me how you do it...I want to be that person that commands attention when I walk into a room too..." *eyeroll* I don't get it. I really don't get it...so because I'm thickalicious, I am not supposed to be 1. confident 2. a good communicator 3. THINK I'm sexy??
I HATE being discriminated agaist because of my size...discriminate against me for something else first...but on size along?? GTFOOH!
bravo, bravo, bravo! well said sis.
You are in the minority...where you live? LOL
....and to add....what is wrong with the above picture of Gabby?? I think that she looks good...she is TRYING to do better with her appearance, i mean dang the girl can't transform overnight, weight loss takes time, but at least she is dressing in SIZE appropriate clothes and doesn't have her fat meat hanging out. HATS off to her and her stylist for that.
Good lawd!! 136 lb and 5'6"..........and he is complaining???? girl, smakc him upside the head. I am from the Caribbean, 5'4 1/2 and 153 lbs. I mention to brothers here that I feel the need to lose some weight ( like the extra junk in my trunk and could use some breasts, just prefer a flat stomach).......and they like.....what weight? you jes right!! y'all thickalicious Amurrican sistas need to be downhere, mon!!
"I understand that we as a country have an issue with obesity, but it is "morphing" itself into an unhealthy obsession with trying to be thin."
I cosign 100%; this is why eating disorders exist and malnutrition.
___________________________________
This is so true. There are even people starting to state the obvious. A vegan diet is unhealthy. Surprise! Seriously all human bodies are different. It is crazy to think we are all supposed to be the same size and eat the same foods.
I've always believed there are many men that like larger women but won't date them because they are scared of what people might say.
Personally I like women of all sizes but my preference has always been thick women with curves. I don't date women that are really overweight just because I find that they often have low self esteem and don't like to go out because they are self concious about their weight.
My thing about weight is that as long as you are trying...its all good. Most people that discriminate against bigger people have never had to struggle with weight. 9 times out of 10 they have never had to work out to maintain their weight. We don't control our genetics and it's hard to control your metabolism.
Personally I have me so many "vegetarians" that just seem unhealthy to me. They look frail. Have no energy and no muscle tone. I think a vegetarian diet keeps you small but not healthy. In fact I believe many people that claim to be vegetarians for health reasons are really just doing so they can starve themselves without it being labeled and eating disorder. It's much easier to say "I'm a vegatarian," than it is to say "I starve my self because I have a poor self image."
No one should be 5'5 and 153lbs, that cannot be healthy regardless if men prefer curvy; 5'5 and 140 is still curvy and will make a diffrence in health.
Black Women need to realize that we cannot maintain the next generation if we don't recognize our health is equally important in maintaining a lifestyle.
I won't even get into the whole debate about BMI and what works for women of different ethnicities. If you feel good and you're healthy - that's the most important thing.
Oh and, Ms. Chele - don't make me side-eye you up and down this here blog. Fellas always stopping in the street for you and I've known you at 3 different sizes. Makes me sick with your cute self. Just loan me the boobs and the face for one day... that's all I need to take over the world.
BTW - this Maya Angelou poem is my favorite.
This is a great broader question - why all the shade-throwing? There is an overwhelming "lack of niceness" (okay folks are downright mean) that bears a closer look.
Brother, just once I wish you would surprise me by not showing your entire ass on these here comments.
Yes, yes - you can just put FLOTUS on a paper plate and pass here right over here. That is me all day.
Her dress is fine, that facial expression is awful.
I prefer women to be on slender side. I know they are going to put weight on over time so it's best if they start out ahead of the curve.
LOL - rep for the skinny set girl!
I have never seen the stopping in the street - you have to point that out when it happens ;-)
Dude, seriously? What are you working with?
I'm a dancer so I have to hyper-vigilant about weight, fitness, training. If I wasn't I'd stay healthy but I look forward to the day when mashed potatoes are not my arch-enemy
ms. chelle,
i understand that the mass media does take pot shots at those..that are not at a certain shape, but this post comes across as men should accept you *plural* as is...and should just be happy.
so are men allowed to have preferences? is that something women can have?
i mean, i prefer slender women...doesn't mean i'll hate, talk greasy about someone Gabby's size, doesn't mean i'll date/marry someone who's a size 0...but is that ok?
or is me saying " i prefer a slender woman with coca-cola bottle shape" make me a...(insert favored adjective)
if so...
*puts on some Redman*
I'll Bee Dat.
I'm so glad you wrote this! *momentarily delurks* Apparently great minds think alike: http://jasminllenadegracia.blogspot.com/2010/04/women-size-and-privilege.html
(Excuse the blatant self-promotion, but they really are two sides of the same coin. :-))
Thanks for being someone who's not a size 2 who doesn't feel the need to put down said size 2's. That's how you know you have self-confidence. Anyone (of any size) who has to hate on someone else to feel good has issues that go beyond pants size, but it seems like you find very few women who can talk about size issues without throwing barbs at the opposite end of the spectrum.
Am I the only woman (person?) who can't look at people and guess their size or weight? I have no idea what a size 0, or 6, or 16 looks like,
Amen Foxy! I'm a skinny girl too! At 5'2" and 105lbs I am very petite, but I likes -- No, I LUVS -- to eat! Just came from having some fried chicken, mac & cheese and cabbage. Was looking for dessert! LOL!
Spoken like someone who has absolutely no background in and understanding of nutrition. I have been a vegan for 12 years and I am quite healthy. I work out daily, have muscle tone, hover somewhere around a size 4 and have more than enough energy to make it through the day. Nothing about me is frail and my diet is nothing like an eating disorder. Yes it is possible for a vegan or vegetarian diet to be unhealthy if not done properly but it is equally as possible for a meat-based diet to be unhealthy. I have a nutritionist who specializes in vegan diets and I make sure that my body gets all of the appropriate nutrients it needs to be fully functional. I chose to be vegan not because I wanted to be thin or because I felt like saving the whales, but because I flat out didn't want to eat meat or animal products anymore. This "all vegans/vegetarians are unhealthy" attitude is akin to "all black people steal" or "all asians are smart." If you want to say that the specific vegetarians you know are unhealthy, that's fine but don't speak on the state of all because you don't know all or what their health status is.
No one said a man can't have a preference. The problem is the notion that Queen Latifah is too fat to be desirable. Paula Patton plays a golddigger who leaves Common when he is down on his luck. It is Latifah who is there to pick up the pieces. So these men think it is better to take the golddigger back because she's so called prettier than the woman who has his back through thick and thin. I find that a flawed mindset and probably explains why they are alone on twitter to begin with. None of these comments are coming from a preference point of view. They are coming from a shallow, superficial, stereotypical construct. And if you want to get realistic, the men with this kind of attitude are nothing to write home about either.
Well I had to read through my comment again and as I thought, I didn't say all vegetarians. I said many that I've met. My point was that many people are into that lifestyle to stay skinny. They equate skinny with healthy. And often time its people that are obsessed with their weight. They used the lifestyle to hide their obsession like a an alcoholic finds ways to justify his pathology. Anyway. Not in the mood to argue. But I do know my nutrition. I do eat meat. I am by most definitions overweight. And I gurantee I can out eliptical, out lift, out train, out yoga anyone reading this message. Easily.
You know I loves me a beautiful woman no matter what her size. But often there are a number of other attributes that contribute to this beauty even before size and facial features are even considered. To be considered beautiful in my eyes, you gotta have a good personality; you gotta have a good sense of humor; you gotta be intelligent; and you gotta realize that your beauty and your appearance are perhaps the least important things when it comes to the overall picture.
And as a postscript, there is nothing more attractive than a woman who thinks she is much more attractive than she really is. It is important that you love yourself, and that you have confidence in yourself, but if this love and confidence depends on treating others like dirt, then you still have not gained anything.
No sir, not my intent at all. You can certain own your preference to date whomever whoever. Just as I can state my preferences. Simply because I'm drawn to the tall dark chocolate type doesn't mean I'm dogging the mocha-mid-height brothers. It's when we say there's something wrong with someone who doesn't look like this or wear that... that's the problem.
Sweetie, let me drop a Friday Afternoon song on ya: Doowutchyalike - Digital Underground
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QJ0FWt0omQc
I know Mr Max - thou art equal opportunity when the woman displays some inner beauty that reflects well on the outer.
I don't know when people forgot the only thing more classic than a coke and a smile is a big butt and a smile.
Hey Chele! As you pointed out, the good and bad thing about Twitter (and blogs) is that people share their two cents on ev-er-y-thang. I think social networking is fostering an ugly trend of self-righteous passive-aggressive behavior. It's easy to sit behind the comfort of a keyboard and say whatever cruel thought comes to mind. Preferences are one thing, but what we usually see are pointless and nasty jabs that are often reflective of a lack of exposure to a wide variety of people. Small minds say small ish...
*meeting ya at the GTFOH cafe'*
Dang. Ripped a new one with this post.
The boxed-in definition of female beauty is as dangerous to me as the health risks people always want to throw out for obesity. I like what the friend quoted in this blog said about scruffy dudes living in a fantasy world still, because that is definitely true.
The only thing I can gather is that clothing designers have less and less fabric to work with now and so its just easier to tell everyone they need to be the size of a chicken bone so they can continue making clothes.
Not a fan of a woman who does the 2 pieces of cantaloupe and a diet water diet on the regular.
Thanks Chele, now I have this song stuck in my head. LOL
I'm a size 10 but my mother and sisters are all in size 22 and up so I've seen this from all sides. Preference is one thing. Hate and prejudice something different.
Hello ma'am.....don't make health judgements unless you are my dietician or doctor. I am cool with where I am becuase frankly I am on new medication that has weight gain as its side effect and I could be a LOT heavier. I think people who judge don't factor that into the equation.....that there are medications, ( anti-depressants,etc) that does have weight gain as side effect. There are also illnesses that do have weight gain as a symptom.Implying that weight gain is only becuase of someone not taking care of their health is rude becuase many times you DON"T know what is the cuase.......
Just one comment: Please reconsider using the phrases "real women curves", "real women have curves" etc. Just like the sexist and sizeist language the pushes a size 0 or 2 on women, using language that says only women with certain body shapes or sizes pushes a physical ideal on women that may not be realistic or attainable for all women. Some of us will never be voluptuous, or curvy, or whatever. And that doesn't give more curvy women license to dissect, criticize, or put down our bodies just to make themselves feel better.
Thank you! Let's also rethink the idea that only "curvy" woman eat full meals and have intelligence and a personality.
"i get tired of folks asking me if i'm anorexic cause i'm a size 2. "- so true; this is the other side of the story of size discrimination.
Why a person who is thin has to be anorexic?? Really? People really need to understand that looks are very deceiving. SMH
C - I know you can eat, girl. No one is hatin' on the skinny girls. I used the words "real women" because that's the Lane Bryant campaign name. We know you eat and have sparking witty personality.
I'm embracing all the ladies. Do you girl. It's all love in Bougieland.
I am so happy that I have friends in my life that do not care about that ish. I think that I am more self conscious about my size because of the complex that one boyfriend and my mother(who continues till this day) told me I was fat. I was wearing a size 6. People wonder why there are eating disorders and why people fall back into them. We gotta stop putting skinny on the pedastle and put everyone on them. We are all beautiful and sexy at every size. With that I will not feel guilty tonight indulging in a hlf piece of vanilla bean cheesecake.
Tiffany
Peace, Love and Chocolate
http://liferequiresmorechocolate.com
Hey girl, my reply wasn't very clear. My comments were directed toward the public. It's not just Lane Bryant, comments are made all the time about "skinny bitches". While it's certainly not as bad as what larger people experience, it's hurtful nonetheless.
co-sign for the straight and narrow girls
I'm way late, but i'm gonna comment anyway. This whole situation is a mess, because our general society and popular culture have ZERO touch with reality. I'm a skinny chick, i think my size and body type is pretty laughabe considering i'm a grown woman, and while i like my size (even while laughing at it) i realize its not ever going to be or even intended to be the reality for most women. I should preface my next point by saying I'm a health education/promotional professional, and did the majority of my research in school on obesity in the black community, with that said:
the fac that the average size is a 14 is a little freakin ridiculous, that's rather large, and that's the average. statistically speaking over 60% of the country is overweight, over 30% oobese, so in my book that is just not OK. and the whole marilyn monroe being a size 14 is kind of irrelevant because a 14 then is like today's 10 or 8 if you shop at NY& Co. lets stop the bullshiggity.
More bullshiggity: the supermodel ideal of beauty. Anyone who has seen a model in person should know, that gangly giraffe like women with poofy lips usually aren't so hot. I just had a convo with a friend about how THAT ideal of beauty is dictated by white gay men (i.e. the fashion industry).
I call bullshiggity on the lane bryant commerical because if most plus size women carried their weight as well as the chicks in the commerical, there would certainly be less discrimination against them.
I call bullshiggity on grown little boys who think that if she ain't 36" 24" 36" then she's not "hot".
How bout we start criticisizing men on their weight (or lack there of) just as rudely, crassly, and publicly as the jackassess who couldn't resist commenting on Gabbourey's weight.
BULLSHIGGITY!
Ok, I'm delurking to post this comment. Coming at the issue from the medical perspective, what obesity and extra fat do to the human body can be frightening. It probably wont kill you right away, and yeah, we'll all die sometime anyways, but it can be a slow, painful and premature decline in health and life and it can be costly. The major problem is that Americans on average are much bigger than people in almost any part of the world, even in Canada. That is a scary and very unhealthy thing. Its true that people have different metabolisms and people are different sizes etc- no one size has the monopoly on beauty or sexy. At the same time, the obesity epidemic is in part due to very poor eating habits- mostly/ sometimes because of lack of access to healthy food options, safe and/or healthy ways of keeping fit and sometimes plain ignorance about what the effects are and how to eat better. That's a different conversation and that requires that we as a society look at issues of access to food, health care, education and such and how those are decided and navigated.
So yeah, my problem with obesity isn't about sexy- its about the heart, kidneys, pancreas and such.
And yeah, I'll also add that I'm a petite woman who every now and then has some body issue images- this is too small, that is too big, why can I be taller etc - that's just foolishness on my part, and God and I are working that bit out.
Small Clarification: I believe America is making "obesity" an issue when it is not the problem; I feel as though people who fall under the "obese" category are being used as an escapegoat. There is more to the story. Why all of sudden is "obesity" an epidemic??? We live in an UNHEALTHY society. period.
It is a huge mess. There is so much stigmatism attached to being fat, plus size or whatever you want to call it. It is just insane. Also, even if you have a medical background, you can still be ignorant of certain issues. That is why researches are always conducted. :)
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