Thursday, May 27, 2010

The Case of the Tweet-n-Run: An Open Letter

Pardon me while I handle some BnB internal business...

This open letter is on behalf of one of my Twitter friends. She was one of the first people to reach out to me on Twitlandia and is just flat out good people. I absolutely adore her. In my adoration, I semi-set her up with a dude from BougieLand. Mea Culpa, Mea Culpa and colossal fail on my part. What had happened was... This gentleman hunted me down and begged for an introduction and an endorsement. He was (in his words) dazzled by the intelligence and charm of my friend and wanted to holler. I directed him to her website and Facebook page; he was more charmed and enthusiastic than before.

So I spoke with him, background checked him (which he agreed to and paid for). According to his background, he is divorced with one child, degreed, professional, solvent and without criminal history. I spoke with him again – hey, I'm a Human Resources girl, I interview folks and I generally know what to look for. After a discussion with him and a follow-up with her, I green-lit the introduction.

In the beginning, he was fun, he was flirty and it was banter, wit, and a little bit of sizzle. He flirted hard, he flirted regularly. He made plans and promises. He shared life anecdotes. All of this over Twitter (which was the first issue). Why Twitter only? No gchat, no skype, no fifty-million other venues? Finally, he got her phone number, made arrangements to call, set up plans to meet face to face and then… nothing. He popped up on BougieLand here and there with a comment or two, sent her a couple of half-assed tweets about some drama in his life and then… nothing. Fade to black. But this morning, he sent me a note (why me and not her, I don't know) asking if I thought he should contact her this weekend. (After 2 ½ weeks of zero contact?)

So because she's too classy to do it… allow me to say how I feel about that…

Dear Dude (you know who you are),

I'm not fond of grown-assed men who don't know their own minds and waste people's time. I'm not fond of men who chase women, hide behind equivocal language and then throw down a smoke bomb and disappear into the mist. I have a healthy sense of humor, but I'm not amused. One you pass the age of forty, game-playing isn't cute. Oh hell, it's not cute past twenty. The thing was… you were so completely "earnest" in your longing to get to know that person. I mean you worked hard to get the intro. And worked even harder to garner her interest. You did all but stalk the girl so fervent was your avowal that this was someone you simply had to get to know.

Sure, it's your prerogative to change your mind. It's your option not to pursue someone that you chased (hard and at some expense). And sure, I get that it was Twitter so how seriously should we take it all. You are allowed to simply fall back. I'm not saying what you did was a heinous crime… I'm saying it was trifling and rude. And a little bit unnecessary.

It's not as though you've gone missing. You're still tweeting and blogging and chatting away so we know you're alive and apparently well. What you did was start a conversation, up the intensity to red-hot and then stop speaking mid-sentence and leave the room. We call that mixed messages. Or in this case… a Tweet–n–Run.

The flirting was fine, the banter was fine. But why the full court press? Why all the personal questions? Why set up the coffee/tea/cocktail date? Why ask for the number and never use it? Was it a game, a diversion, something to pass the time? Did you meet someone else? Just what? Oh wait; you did have a lame explanation: you said "your interest and intentions were good but your follow-through and execution sucked". Nice to know and thank you for that bit of honesty. Here's some for you in return…

  1. It's just as irritating when men run hot and cold as when women do it.
  2. There's a phrase: don't start none, won't be none. Re-read and repeat.
  3. Remember when I recommended that you bring your "A" game to the table? This isn't it, is it?
  4. The person you should ask if you still have a shot? You have her phone number - use it. Don't tweet it, don't text it, call.
  5. You can forget any other attempts at a BougieLand hook-up. The Bougie Babes are off-limits to you now.

Anyway, good luck to you sir. It's my experience that once you raise a woman's expectations and then dash them, it's tough to get back in the game but go head on with your bad self. If you're going back in, I would strong suggest you go in with more than a tweet and a smile. You take care now. And watch where you tweet. I see you.

Sincerely,

OneChizzle

Okay, I feel better now. Thank you BougieLand for allowing me to handle that bit of administrative business. Unfortunately, there's no adequate interview process that screens for flaky. I'll be interested to see if said Dude responds. In the meantime, ever had a potential S.O. just disappear, no explanation? Have you ever faded to black on someone after chasing the hell out of them? As always… your thoughts, comments and insights are welcome. The floor is yours.

86 comments:

Brneyed1 said...

Yeah, I've pulled a "Ghost" move before. One was a guy who started talking marriage and babies after a month. I freaked out and ran. Second time was a power play. We were both jockeying for position so I vanished and let him call me a time or two (or more).

I was foul, yeah.

Brneyed1 said...

Yeah, I've pulled a "Ghost" move before. One was a guy who started talking marriage and babies after a month. I freaked out and ran. Second time was a power play. We were both jockeying for position so I vanished and let him call me a time or two (or more).

I was foul, yeah.

Anna N. said...

Hmph. This sounds like a case of "he's just not that into her". I'm guessing there was some closer-to-home booty that he was tending to that didn't work out, and now he's hedging his bets with your friend - again. Who knows why thirsty azz Keith Sweat negroes do what they do. Just leave 'em the hell alone.

ASmith said...

A.Smith rule of thumb #14: "I suck" is not an excuse.

In other words, simply admitting that your decision making was subpar and you should have been better is not equivelent to "I'm sorry" and does not endear me to you. It does nothing but annoy me, because I think ot myself "so you knew this was wrong, but you did it anyway... AWESOME! Go kick rocks with no socks."

I don't understand the world view that makes an individual think "I know I pursued with fervor, and I know this person thinks I really want them, but I don't feel the same anymore. I know! I'll just stop calling/texting/tweeting/emailing/everything. That'll fix it..." and then later think, "Ok, I'm back to wanting that so let me slide back into the spot I'm sure was left open and warm for me..."

O_o. Really? Seriously?

I hope she doesn't take him back. Stuff like this is always a bright red sign of things to come. People change, but this has an interesting feel of premeditation to me.

Sarah said...

Huh? OK. I rubbed my eyes and it still says the same thing. The drama never stops does it? Life is too short. You just can't be flaky that way in the grown up world for no reason.

Ms_Smart said...

He displayed a huge character flaw. He can't deal with conflict and a man who can't do that usually leaves a trail of women wondering. He's rude.

happinessisme said...

I have an ex( a rebound dude) who I can't stand. Don't know why, sweet guy, just boring and don't really have that much in common with. I never contact him and duck and dodge his emails. I know I'm wrong but...I'm traveling through Europe so "it's hard to stay connected online." I went out on a date a few weeks ago with a lame and judgemental dude who tried to tell me what to eat. Didn't contact him again though he keeps sending me emails and texts about everything under the sun from the plight of single black woman in America to kangaroo burgers. I have yet to respond.

derek love said...

In half-assed defense of Dude (and to say it wasn't me), maybe his timing was screwy and he couldn't come up with a way to bow out gracefully? Yeah, it's weak as hell but let's face it - sometimes even as grown ups we don't know what the hell to do or we flat out just don't do it.

Trying to get back after going radio silent though? That's ballsy.

BTW, do I read between the lines that Bougie Hook-ups are available for a fee? Like a Bougie Matchmaker service? Just askin'

baileyqc said...

Shady. I always at least give an explanation before I go ghost. She should consider herself fortunate that they weren't more involved when he showed this. Again, shady.

brendakay50 said...

This is two days running OneChele where your blog articles have my blood pressure rising...

I really wish people would just S.T.O.P. already with the tomfoolery, selfish stupidity and inconsideration.

It this really too much to ask?

Steve said...

*clears throat* Not me either. When a man disappears, he either saw something he didn't lie, found someone else, or got crazy busy with something else. He should've called though.

SingLikeSassy said...

Annnnddddd more dickery. Is this dickery week on BnB?!

I'm sure the young lady ain't stressing over this cause she had nothing invested but some tweets, but I don't get the hot cold stuff either. The twitter-only communiques after having you do a background check and all that other jazz would have made me side-eye his ass from the git go.

And the email asking you what to do now? Aw hell naw. Get some ballz 'bout yourself bruh.

OneChele said...

Love rule #14! Love it...

OneChele said...

Ha! I have no plans to run a BnB matchmaking service ;-)

SingLikeSassy said...

"Who knows why thirsty azz Keith Sweat negroes do what they do. Just leave 'em the hell alone. " <--ANNA! STOP IT! Bwaaahaaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaa

Rob said...

That' a lot of work to put in to disappear. I'll bet something happened on his end, ex-drama or job-drama and he decided the fall back was his best move.
I'v disappeared without a trace a number of times. It's just easier sometimes. Not saying it's right - just easier.

OneChele said...

I'll try for a happy post tomorrow ;-)

tiffanyinhouston said...

The worse part about this (other than the obvious fuckery) is that dude asked Chele to vouch for him. I really hate that because as the person who put her name on the line for this prick, Chele is the one who feels badly. I know I would. I am sure that the young lady in question has not roasted Chele over the coals for dude's lack of home training but still....you don't feel great about it.

The same applies when someone wants a introduction for a job, or for membership into an organization and then they show their entire naked ass. And folks wonder why other folks won't put themselves out there for them.

It's because of foolery like this!

Dude, you pretty much suck.

maxfab said...

This letter is why I heart you and heart this site.
That is all.

Ola said...

"Who knows why thirsty azz Keith Sweat negroes do what they do."

*dead* LMAO

Sasha Stiletto said...

LOL at the fellas calling "not me" on this one. It happens, it's not pretty. I think you said it best: trifling, rude and unnecessary...

OneChele said...

Apologies, looking back it appears it's Just.Do.Better. week on BnB ;-)

Pretty Nerd said...

This irks me to NO end. Usually when someone just ups an disappears without notice I totally write them off. And if by some act of grace (ie, massive kissing up) and I give him a second chance and start talkin to him again, I will have my bitch hat on and side eye every damn thing dude says after that... Anyone over 18 should know better, ignoring folks is rude and a HUGE red flag of how they operate.

I never would stop talking to someone without at least having the decency to let them know something first, so I damn sure dont take kindly to folks who find it so easy to dismiss me without so much as a "bye bish" or nothing....

thinklikeRiley said...

Ya'll whining over some bullshit. You got played, onto the next. Not like he knocked you up or left you at the altar. Damn.

Jasmine Girl said...

Actually, it's been a really good week. The topics have been interesting and you always set up the questions so the commnets can be wide open (which they so often are).

OneChele said...

Aw, thank you kindly!

All Honey said...

Oooo - the Ninja Disappearing Act makes me crazy! Just chuck me some deuces at the very least, damn. How hard is that?

SingLikeSassy said...

I suspect women get missing on you a lot.

Leon X said...

Thank you Flaky Dude. Because of your shenanigans you have screwed up the possibility of Chele hooking any of us up. A rock through your window, sir. A rock through your window.

P.S. Confession: When I first read this post I read the "Mea Culpa" line as the alias for Flaky Dude. Sue me, it's still early.

rickyfontain said...

Unless we are in a real relationship or have dated several times I don't see nothing wrong with the ghost move. I've had a rule since about my mid twenties. If I call you twice and leave messages and you don't return my call. I'll take that as you don't want to continue. We don't need to have a big dramatic conversation about why you don't want to date anymore. You didn't return my call...Point taken.

Now in the case described.....It's up to this girl to decide if dude get's a second shot. It would appear to me that dude doesn't really know what he wants or has competing interest. So she should make up her mind as to whether she wants to deal with a dude that doesn't seem to know what he wants from day to day.

GrownAzzMan said...

Two things:
1) It wasn't me...LOL
2) I don't understand it either
That.Is.All.

FreeBlackMan said...

Even I can't go with you there, friend. Old boy's game was ragged. Point blank.

WriterChanelle said...

The problem is that it's only easier for the man.

WriterChanelle said...

I don't understand why men find it so difficult to use the phone. Why try so hard if you're only going to interact through social media? It shows a lack of commitment and true interest.

MeetCharlieL said...

Well damn - it wasn't me either. Are we really not getting the hook up? Cuz I got references and ev'thang...

Peter Parker said...

kangaroo burgers?

how do those taste..my palette is intrigued.

datdudeincali said...

I'm going Shakespearean on this one "A plague upon your house!"

But um Chele, aren't you always saying not to paint with broad strokes or same paint color or something? So you can't hold the rest of us responsible for Flaky Dude's flakiness.

And in a related question - when is your man hiatus up?

Pretty Nerd said...

THIS right here! I am starting to hate technology more and more cause it just gives people more ways to be the cowards they are. Male AND female... ANd don't get me started on Twitter and Facebook. I have even had people pick fights in text... Seriously? You can sit there and type multiple screens of stuff but cant pick up the phone and say it in 10 seconds? GTHOH!

Mr. Skyywalker said...

I wish this punk-ass would step up and claim his bitchassness so the rest of us can quit catching wreck. My girl sent me this link talking about "It better NOT be you."

Reads4Pleasure said...

Lol @ all the fellas hollering it wasn't them. I see y'all checking for future BougeConnections.

WriterChanelle said...

Round of a-freaking-pplause. You were supposed to learn your lessons a long time ago. Grow up, sir. Act like an adult for once. So now she is supposed to accept that you want to reconnect? Why now? Why weren't you consistent from the jump? What if a woman did this same thing? Do you think the guy would just let her slide back in? I think not.

Reads4Pleasure said...

That was smooth the way you just slid that "related question" in there ;-)

WriterChanelle said...

Why is it so hard to just communicate what you didn't like or that you found someone else? It's called closure.

WriterChanelle said...

Yes...quite smooth. LOL

WriterChanelle said...

YES!!! Will type pages and pages of stuff through text, gchat, etc...but getting on the phone? "Why do you need me to get on the phone? What is the call about? Why can't we just text?" MFGTFOH!

JaymeC said...

A couple of your commenters make me tired. How hard is it to pick up a phone, dial and say "Things have changed." I don't care if you only tweeted, texted, whatever. You were man enough to show interest, be man enough to back away with some class. And now to come BACK?! Okay, do you even know what you want?

Relationship Rule # 1 - Know yourself. #2 - Know what you want #3 Re-assess number 1 and 2 regularly.

jake said...

Cosign. It's like BnB Man Roll Call today. Pretty soon we'll figure out who DIDN'T raise his hand.

jake said...

^5 - excellently played sir.

L.P. said...

I agree... Disappearing is often easier... And sometimes, there is no "tangible" reason to give... but if he is trying to come back then he might have had a valid reason? *shrugs*

L.P. said...

I might be the lone dissenting voice in the desert here, but really, although it is highly annoying (especially if you happen to like the person), I really don't think there is anything inherently wrong with the ghost move/fall back...

Again, it's annoying, but they were at the "courtship" phase of the potential future relationship... She was still certainly checking his potential as a good mate... This will get added as a major character flaw, and the lady in question will use that information as a screening process... It sucks when other people are involved but all in all, I don't see it as much more than "we went on a date, but then something came up (better prospect, something about you turned me off, too busy at the moment, being a jerk...etc...) and I'll call it a day".

The part I have a hard time understanding is the "comeback"... Why would a normal and sane woman want to go back with you after you went ghost? Seriously? Then again, hey you never know...

Grace said...

Let me top this. My best friend met a dude online. He went full court press too. Moved here from Florida. Got a new job, wined her, dined her, swept her off her feet. Six months in he tells her he loves her, doesn't know how he lived without her, takes her ring shopping and then.... nothing. Disappears. Not at the address, not at the job, cell phone turned off, email gone. WTF?!

She is completely shut down now. This guy shattered his trust in men and for what? Sure, sure - she dodged a bullet but look at the dmage done anyway.

liselle said...

I think that's Chele's point. It wasn't a major crime but rude. The fall back was flaky but fine, the come back is delusional and dumb.

Blaque217 said...

I am going to have to disagree with a lot of the responses. If this woman allowed this man to only communicate with her via the UNreal world known as the internet, then the fact that he disappeared like a thief in the knight shouldn't be taken all that seriously. I could see if they actually talked on the phone or tried to establish a real friendship in the real world. But in my opinion, this was a faux friendship...nothing more than cyber crushing. Have we become so high tech that this type of courting has become acceptable? I sure hope not.

Steve said...

Wasn't there a line?

Steve said...

Hey, don't shoot the messenger - I'm agreeing with you. He should've called. In his case, he could've even tweeted. I was just providing reasons why he may not have continued.

Jason P said...

1. It wasn't me
2. There are times when it's easier (though not brave) to just sky up
3. It wasn't me

WriterChanelle said...

I'm sure someone will find a way to argue that she should just get over it. While not all men are the same, and her trust in men on the whole shouldn't disappear, I can't blame her for shutting down and erecting steel walls around her heart.

WriterChanelle said...

Let me adjust the tone on the question. (This is also the reason why the PHONE....*sigh* nevermind)

Steve, I agree with you. He should have called. The reasons you listed are so typical of some men. Why can't those men give up those excuses and just communicate what they didn't like or that they found someone else? Doing so offers closure to the situation.

ASmith said...

I dunno...

I feel like that absolves this dude of his douchery-ness. I feel your point, but we don't know what his explanations about that were. Hindsight is always 20/20.

In any case, he still sucks for promising to call and then not calling. I mean maybe she finally said to him, "check me out -- either the way we communicate enters the land of the real, or we stop communicating..." he got the number, swore he would call and then didn't. He sucks. Maybe she sucks too (depends on your reading, I don't think I have enough info to go that far, but to each his own), but so does he and to suggest that because, as far as we can tell, she didn't make a bigger stink about his twitter-only communication it's really not that serious that he full-out bailed isn't fair.

Pretty Nerd said...

Cause over the years men, have devolved into taking the "easy route." Same reason why back in the day real men would approach a lady and if they got turned down would brush themselves off and move on nicely. Nowadays, most men sit around waiting for women to come to them, their excuse? They dont like rejection. Or worse you reject the dude and they wanna cuss you out if you tell them no thanks. Lawd...

daisy said...

Same thing happened to a girlfriend of mine. And it turned her quite bitter. It only takes one bad apple unfortunately.

ASmith said...

::slow clap::

My friends wonder why I don't be tryna intro them to people.

Not even on the relationship tip, just in life. First off, some of them are shady. But secondly, I've had too, TOO many situations where the friend dropped the ball and didn't follow up, didn't make contact, etc... Then the next time I want to recommend a friend, I feel that I can't because of the last one.

ASmith said...

Can I reiterate, for the nauseous and annoyed class, that this dude went ghost RIGHT as he was supposed to (in my opinion) make this a reality and give her a call?

Like it was all biscuits and (sausage) gravy until he had to pick up the phone. Coincidence? Nahhh... it's SO much not right with this that I can't.

natural nubian said...

you can't expect a boy to conduct himself like a man. and what yall are saying below about 'using the phone to call,' that is what adults do. age does not equal maturity, and everybody is not mature/grown enough to behave like the adult they appear to be.
Chele, he was great on paper, plain-n-simple. You cannot interview/gauge maturity. Everything that glitters ain't gold.

Blaque217 said...

Your points are well taken ASmith, and I am in no way exonerating this man. But for me, the red flags would have been that he flirted and communicated ONLY online and also that he felt the need to go through OneChele . Why couldn't he just reach out to this woman himself...you know, like a big boy? Maybe I'm just suspicious by nature. But personally, I would have never let it get that far. Twitter, Facebook, Skype, etc...it's all smoke and mirrors. Sure, OneChele had him checked out but people can create all kinds of illusions when they are online. The fact that this man rolled out without warning doesn't surprise me at all.

Lee said...

I was into the second paragraph before I even realized you were talking about me. *raises hand* Yeah it was me. Apparently I effed up. Life happens. When it came time to cross from virtual to real, I knew I wasn't 100% in it. So fine - I'm the asshole who didn't call and didn't explain. That makes me all these bitch/punk/little boy references?

Chele, I asked you if I should reach out knowing I effed up. By receipt of this letter, I'll take that as a no. And for the record, I apologize to you and the young lady in question for wasting your time.

taut_7 said...

damn. all i can say is who does things like this? now i'm curious to know who it is. lol

Vonne716 said...

I don't understand why we all can't be grown ups and just say what's on our minds. I believe 100% that if you aren't interested in someone, then you just tell them. It doesn't do anything but complicate the situation (and hurt feelings) when you set someone up to just disappear, especially when you were the one doing all of the initiating. If there's one thing I can't stand, it's a male who can't/doesn't know how to follow-through...

WriterChanelle said...

*deep sigh*

careycarey said...

I am feeling you on this one. Facebook, Twitterhook,Givemea look, is kids games.... from the jump (imo). Granted, they have a purpose, but when a relationship is started on a device that's absent human emotions, it becomes a tool for the fake and phony. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying either of them are phony. I'm saying those devices are the perfect tools of usurpers and perverts.

One tweet... maybe. Two tweets, maybe. 3 tweets, okay lady. e-mail, somethings shady Miss Lady. I'm just saying, the whole man/woman behind the screen thing, is perfect material for a movie.... made especially for TV.

I want to smell your breath, and listen for the truth in your voice. We may not go on to be lovers, but I am not going to be a special kind of fool.

donell said...

"when someone shows you who they are - believe them." - maya angleou

"on on to tha next one." hova

maureen palmer said...

The first thing that came to mind after reading this blog was "Game" by Chuckii Booker. Seriously brother man why? They have DM on twitter, maybe, you should have considered using it. To the sister that is this situation, walk way; as Oprah says, first, it is small peebles before you know it a boulder would be coming down.

OneChele said...

Hey Lee, I see you stopped in while I was out. I would love to accept your apology were it not for the rude, pissy voicemail you left me combined with the tart slightly threatening text message. To answer your questions:

1) I didn't "back your play" because you're wrong
2) She's the one I know and like
3) Right back atcha (what are we 12?)
4) It's the blogosphere - everything is public domain.
5) BougieLand IS my little made-up world. Just like your condo near the Houston Galleria is your wonderland. Did you forget I have all your info?

Sorry to hear you deleted your twitter, DISQUS and Facebook accounts. I, personally, am missing you already. You keep it classy... and thanks for visiting BougieLand. Deuces!
(For the record, that's how you tell someone you're out.)

ASmith said...

I'm confused. Did he not think you'd respond? On your blog, no less? #ohokIseenow

tiffanyinhouston said...

And now for a musical selection!!!

"Caught Out There" by Kelis comes to mind right about now.

Here ya go: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tnukuTwynwY

Glen Antoine Palmer said...

Granted, I have been out of the dating loop for nearly 13 years now; but trying to hook up via Twitter, Facebook, Blogs, etc. is just not wise at all. My younger brothers do it and I just shake my head. I say you have to connect with a person in person. It takes time to learn and understand the nuances of someone's personality. You just can't do that over the Internet, no matter how good the conversation (if you can call it that) may be. For all anyone knows, dude could have hired a ghostwriter to sound all witty & charismatic in his tweets. I say...put down the smart phone...and lets return to good old fashioned courting. Guess I'm just old school like that.

Sojourner Verdad said...

Oh my!!! I have been missing out on LIFE!!! I can only read your posts thru Google Reader while at work. But apparently, the REAL party is in the comment section. Don't mind me! I'm just gonna make myself at home. *settling in on the sofa & stealing some of TiffanyInHouston's popcorn*

citizen ojo said...

You run a dating service too?? I'm not suprised - you keep a hustle going but really people are paying for their own background checks now? After I got married the game changed...

Peter Parker said...

why is closure needed?
Personally, i don't know why dude even contacted ms 'chele... he should have just kept it moving.

Pretty Primadonna said...

I agree totally. I'm a grown woman. Pick up the damn phone!

Pretty Primadonna said...

*standing ovation*

Natasha said...

Like whoa! Seriously?

Sharay said...

Sorry to say, but I wouldn't have a clue. The restaurant he suggested was mad expensive. And he suggested it, didn't ask me out or anything. NEXT

sunt97 said...

Hun, I had it happen to me last year. We were seriously dating. He was suppose to come up but then later told me that he had gotten tickets to an Ohio State game and didn't know if he'd make it. I was like cool, just let me know. I never heard from him again other than an apology he left on my phone and my email. I never saw him again. No official break up, no fall out, nothing. I am thinking I still want closure but he sure as hell isn't giving it to me.

Peace, Love and Chocolate
Tiffany

Bethany Showell said...

Hmph had a disappearing act years ago and he was my boyfriend! The explanation I got months later? "I was playing a lot of darts." Yes darts. Actual literal throwing pointy things at a circle...

Nina said...

The only thing wrong in my opinion was his failure to cancel the date. The rest, acceptable.He really wanted to get to know her, got to know her for a few, and stepped back and had 2nd thoughts or cold feet and wanted to slow it down.
My rule is that you can always bow out, even with no explanation, as long as there are no commitments. Once you say "I WILL do this" and arrangements have been made, then a proper cancellation of the plans is in order. If I talk to a guy online and even on phone a lot, then slow it down and we don't talk for a few weeks, as long as there was no expressed promise to talk tomorrow or meetup, when he reappears we can continue to talk. Its getting to know one another slowly. Exploring your options, getting to know a person.
But the flaking on plans? That generally will rule out any further interest for me.
I dont think technology is the problem, people flake like this in face to face encounters too. Thats why Im all for a date and ending it with a goodbye and not a promise to call or do another date. Let some time pass and both parties can later decide if they want to do it again.

Just my 2 cents

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