First a disclaimer: The opinions and advice shared on this blog are from the fertile soil of my mind based on my experiences. They are in no way professionally sanctioned or meant to influence anybody, anywhere, at any time. Thank you. ~The Management.
Today on BnB, we crack open some good times with a new Ask a Bougie Chick. For my BougieLand newbies, basically someone emails me a question and I answer it. Simple concept. Never dull.
Okay, now that the housekeeping is out of the way let me explain the tomfoolery and folderol you are about to partake of. A young lady going by the alias ClassyinCali sent me a letter. I read her letter and though inclined to roll my eyes and ditch it, instead I asked if she might have the gentleman referenced in the letter to write me his side. He did under the name LBC4E (took me hours to figure out he was referring to Long Beach City ForEver). Here they go (cleaned up somewhat for grammar, spelling and removal of obscenities):
Hey – love the book and the blog! Just wondered if I could get your opinion on something? About nine months ago, I started a physical relationship with a guy from work. We both agreed it was just for fun, not exclusive, good while it lasted. Then in early January he got laid off, about a month after that he asked if he could stay with me for a few days. I said sure why not, just for a week still no strings. I knew it was a problem when he pulled up and had a moving truck with him. I asked him why he needed a truck full of stuff if he was only staying a few days. This caused an argument but he put his stuff in storage and came back with a suitcase. Here we are almost six months later and he shows no signs of leaving. There was a reason we kept the relationship physical, that's all we have in common. Last week, we had an issue because he had another woman in the house. Based on that, I went out with someone else over the weekend. When I got home he went crazy. How do I get him out of here without drama or police?
I'll just nickname her CIC. Before we begin the discussion, here's old boy's side:
I didn't read your blog before yesterday. It's decent but a little high end for me. I met this girl at my job last year and we started smashing. She wanted more, I wasn't feeling it yet. Then I got cut by the job and without savings had to give up my apartment so I asked her if I stay for a little while. She invited me to move in and see if we could work out "something real". I was kinda stuck so why not. When I pull up, she all flip-floppy saying I can come in but not my stuff. So already I see how this is working out. Whatever, we give it a shot anyway. I got a job and starting kicking in towards rent and bills then I see she's got other dudes lined up. So I move to the guest room and fall back. She says I need to get out by the weekend. I paid through July, I'm staying until then. Now who's right and who's wrong?
Alrighty then. Both ya'll wrong and somebody (probably both of ya'll) is lying. Primarily, the relationship was all smash-n-dash… you don't move in with your sex buddy. Isn't that rule number one? You both knew that and went ahead. I don't know who decided to change the rules of the game, maybe LB when he asked to stay or maybe CIC when she let him. Either way I call bullshiggity on the both of you. Ya took a simple situation and jacked it up to hell and back. Beyond that, CIC – if you want him out, give him back his July rent and tell him to get gone. And you LB, take your July money and roll out. Otherwise, you kind of deserve each other.
Bougies – whatcha got for CIC and LB? Thoughts, comments, insights? The floor is yours.