Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Pimps Up, Hoes Up: Sexing Your Way to Your 15 Minutes of Fame

Ya'll know how I love smart people. Today, please join me in welcoming one such lady as our guest blogger. Carolyn Edgar is an attorney and writer living in New York City. She is a contributor to the NYC Moms Blog and has also contributed to My Brown Baby. Carolyn's personal essays have been published in Reconstruction Magazine and Mirror on America: Short Essays and Images from Popular Culture (Bedford/St. Martin's). She is a graduate of the University of Michigan and Harvard Law School. We've been enjoying some Twitter thoughts and she had a little something to share. Enjoy and show her some love: (By the way, I embedded the videos neither of which are appropriate for viewing ever. Get your Pepto ready)

I too hate what OneChele referred to in her post yesterday as "the new trend of Mistresses and Groupies on Parade." Somewhere in the universe, the woodwork must have squeaked, because every other day there's a new freak with a new story to tell sell.

The groupie/ho business is getting serious. Lawyer-to-the-stars Gloria Allred has practically turned it into its own branch of the entertainment industry. Allred is the CEO, COO and General Counsel of Skankville Inc., pimping these girls and their stories for all it's worth.

The how-to-be-a-ho formula has worked for generations. Take one famous male athlete/actor/singer/politician (or husband of a woman who is one or all of the above); add one or more groupies, preferably of the blonde, big-breasted variety; subtract one despondent wife; leak enough salacious details to the media to whet the public's appetite, and voila! Let the famewhoring begin!

For the formula to work, the salacious details must sound like copyedited versions of Penthouse Forum. Thus, we've read about John Edwards' sex tape in which he performs oral sex on pregnant Rielle Hunter. We read Kwame Kilpatrick's texts to his love-starved chief of staff Christine Beatty and Tiger's embarrassing texts to one of his groupie chicks.

When the groupies leak their stories, they never contain unflattering facts like: his penis is the size of a well-endowed two-year-olds; he was too drunk to get it up; he aspires to be a one-minute man – all the stuff you know is probably true. The truth would destroy the economic value of the tell-all, and that economic value makes them newsworthy. No one wants to hear that famous people sex is as boring as the sex they're having at home. Accordingly, the stories enhance the famous men's aura of masculinity and virility. Paradoxically, by having an affair with one or more hot women, the cheating husbands appear even more desirable and attractive.

Kat Stacks, another wanna-be player in the ho game, failed to grasp the importance of telling a good story. The stories on her now-blocked blog weren't titillating, they were sad and desperate. They made you want to get her into counseling and send her to a GED course. Allred's services are well out of Kat Stacks' reach.

But that's the problem with the ho game. The men, not the women, are the ultimate winners. Sure, one of Tiger's babes got a settlement, but what about the others? Notably, black mistresses often fare worse than their white counterparts. Karrine Steffans got a couple of book deals out of giving great head, but not all of the mistresses have been so lucky. Just compare Eliot Spitzer's main call girl Ashley Dupre, and Kilpatrick's mistress Christine Beatty. While Dupre has an advice column in the New York Post and an upcoming spread in the May 2010 Playboy; Beatty just moved to Atlanta after being unable to find employment in the Detroit area following the mayoral scandal.

There are many reasons why being a mistress or groupie is not a sustainable business model. Karma truly is a bitch. Specifically, karma's the next bitch. There's always another one: younger, blonder, with bigger boob and butt implants. Mistresses and groupies have a short shelf life, and success breeds copycats. Once it's known that the guy in question can be had, women will fall all over themselves to get next. And very few of these guys generate the type of income that breeds big settlements, the type of settlements that can assuage hurt feelings when he moves on to the next chick.

It's not that the men escape entirely scot-free. But who do we refer to as a ho? The men are said to have "made mistakes" and "should apologize to their wives," but they get shiny new stud images to boot. After the cheating husbands perform some public act of contrition, the public forgives, and their careers go on.

Meanwhile, no matter how much Kiely Williams tries to p-pop herself out of being a forgettable Disney starlet, the only reaction her "Spectacular" video stirred up was general revulsion. It's rumored her next song is called "Open My Legs, Tell Me What Ya Think." If she named it "Open My Legs and Get That Speculum" and featured her next Pap smear in the video, and I don't think the public would give a damn. She may try to go the basketball wives' route next, but I'm not even sure she could pull a bench rider making league minimum at this point.

I worry about how my teenage daughter will be influenced by the notion that growing up means throwing all caution and your legs open to the wind. So far, her only reaction has been "Ewww!" I hope when she's older and her understanding of sex goes beyond sex ed and it-can-get-you-pregnant-and-make-you-sick, she remains disgusted by all the women who use sex, not their brains, for the come-up.

What say you BougieLand is skank-and-tell the new hustle? What can be done to make it all stop? What are your thoughts on Rielle Hunter getting on Oprah? A show like Basketball Wives (where only two of the 20 are actual wives) was watched by 1.6 million people – the Hell? Ya'll know what to do: thoughts, comments, opinions? The floor is yours.

43 comments:

rozb said...

He looks like he itches really bad. And that apartment she was sneaking out of looked like it smelled like feet. I don't know - I'm just sayin'...

I Am Me said...

As usual, you and I are in complete agreement. Hoeing for dollar$ is bad enough but being the lawyer for hoe$ for hire is 20x worse. Gloria need a boot (or golf shoe) directly to John Brown hindparts.
Technology has elevated the skankdom. You can skank round the world without leaving the privacy of your parents basement. Damn Dell and their affordable laptops made it that much worse.
Go head girl, go head get down.

beautifulcurare said...

LMAO!!! *tears*

Eye Candy said...

I have a girlfriend who for all intents and purposes is a professional mistress. She's old school with it... doesn't advertise, plays her position, banks the jewelry, gets property in her name plus title. If you have to go high-class ho, I guess that's the way to do it?

Folk said...

Fame has become an addiction that many have decided that it is worth whatever the cost is (mentally, physically, sexually, psychologically). Unfortunately as a result of our star dirt consumption society, many of these individuals could possibly sex their way into a book deal, movie deal, internet deal, playboy photo shoot deal, or exclusive with name your magazine tv show of choice which will pay them more in a few weeks / months than many of us will make in our life time. Sad but true

Nicole H said...

What???? Is it that the Ho's Union banded together and decided the all ho's, tricks and jump-off 's should be getting a pay raise or elevation in status? Is that why there are now fame whores or ho-thurs ( combination of ho and author)? I don't get it.....back in the day I thought they were paid to shut up and be discreet becuase they knew they were dead azz wrong!

As for your friend Rose, all I have to say is I hope when karma hits her she could stand the blows.

Steve lost his moral authority to give advice after having been married so many times. Steve, SIT DOWN and let some elderly guy married happily for 50 years to the same woman talk. If someone like that wrote a book, heck, I WILL buy.

Lady4Real said...

I am proud to say that I have not and will not see Basketball Wives. I think ho's are as old as sand, they have always been around and will always be around. I think there is a trend to the ho formula though. I grew up with my dad, everyday. He taught me that I was beautiful, priceless, a jewel and should be loved by a man. I had three older brother's, the middle one was a player, a serious one and he hipped me to the game, so I wouldn't get played. I was taught to use my brain not my va jay jay to get a head. I have had some ho friends in the past, and they all tended to be fatherless, neglected, and not taught good moral values. Now every now and then a 'good' girl will go 'bad'm but usually some bad things have happened to make her that way. There will always be flowers and weeds, just pluck the weeds and smell the flowers.

@Putyrdreams1st said...

GREAT post, carolyn! Good look for the blog site for having you on! My suggestion is to get educated. If school is too much of a time or financial commitment, read! For women in entertainment, I've written just the book: Put Your Dreams First: Handle Your [entertainment] Business. It's a shameless plug but I wrote the book to prevent these types of ho'ing for fame and camera time (because reality shoiw and book money aren't that great)...

Whoopies said...

FYI Just a little side information Kiely has not recorded a track, nor have a song called "Open My Legs, Tell Me What Ya Think". Not at all. Blog is on point other than that =)

MeetCharlieL said...

What the Hell? THIS is who Kat Stacks is? #FAIL on so many levels. Since when is hoedom the hotness?
Wasn't that Kiely chick a Cheetah girl? I took my niece to see them a few years back. I won't be taking her to see Ms. Williams again.
Pimpi' ain't easy but it's not pretty either... Boo.

Sweet N Tart said...

*kicks over trash can* WTF ever happened to BEING SHAMED?! Do we need to bring back a Scarlet Letter in this piece... oh wait, they'd probably bedazzle it, make matching drawers and start a trashy lingerie line.

AppleBerryMIA said...

Seems as though people want that 15 minutes of fame, no matter what they are famous for. I'll choose Lack Of Home Training for $2000 Alex.

Carey Jackson said...

Sexual expressiveness (within the confines of one's home w/o YouTube) is one thing, these here is something else.

All Honey said...

The hyper-sexualation of young girls is not new but certainly very disturbing in it's pervasiveness. I tell my daughter - how would you act if Grandma was looking? That still works for now, thank God.
I cut no slack to the exploitive men who encourage this crap either.

OnlyMe said...

That's all I've got. One big Boo!

Hidi said...

You don't have to worry about your child "falling off the tracks" because I think you are a mom who RAISES her child and not the T.V.- this makes a BIG difference. Sometimes people forget that. You are right, homewrecking is not right and it will never be.

Mr. Skyywalker said...

It was one thing when the mistresses came out and said "my bad" and then went away, now they want to act all proud and victimized? I blame Lewinsky. She started it and now we can't make it go away.

Hidi said...

What say you BougieLand is skank-and-tell the new hustle? "Ho-ing" is not a new hustle; it's just televise.

What can be done to make it all stop? It will never stop until the end of time but it might calm down being televise so much as years progress. Who knows?

What are your thoughts on Rielle Hunter getting on Oprah? Who is Reille Hunter?????

As for the show, Basketball Wives, I am not surprise it was watch by 1.6 million people, it is "good" for entertainment purposes only. It is really sad because those women think they are going to be "celebrities" but they are FOOLS because people are NOT laughing with them, they are laughing AT them. I saw the trailer for the show and flip the channel. Please do expect anything knowledge wise from these shows. Seriously. There are good for laughing AT people.

OneChele said...

Rielle Hunter is John Edward's mistress. Former mistress? Outside Baby Mama.

Pure Choco said...

You've got to be kidding me with the ex-Cheetah girl video. Wow, intervention needed. In fact, can we call a time out and have a group intervention for all the girls and ladies. There are a few things that once they are gone, you cannot get them back: virtue and reputation being 2 of those things. Lock it down, ladies. Quit passing it around and then expecting payment and praise for services rendered.
Side-eye to the fellas who keep this kind of crap in the headlines as well. Zip it up for Christ's sake.

JaymeC said...

Carolyn, I could not agree more. That morality slippery slope has gotten steep. The fact that I can remember Eliot Spitzer's mistress name but not his ex-wife tells you all you need to know. I was horrified to hear that Rielle Hunter is going on Oprah - why are celebrating the other woman? Since when is homewrecking hot? I'm looking at these two videos - this is what my daughter is being exposed to? So now I have to combat THAT as well as whatever nonsense comes out of other kids mouths? Unfortunate.

derek love said...

I guess we have to go back to basics with folks.
1) Cheating is bad. Being overly promiscuous is bad.
2) Getting Caught cheating is worse. Having everyone know you're a ho is worse.
3) Having the promiscuous ho you cheated with make a living of your 15-minute smash is the worst damn thing in the world.
4) Everybody needs to just do better.

Kiki said...

One other thing - I don't want to see a John Edwards sex tape or Tiger or in fact, any of them. Leave porn to the professionals please.

Hidi said...

Oh, basically no one of importance :) tks

OneChele said...

No you did not say a BeDazzled Scarlet Letter with matching drawers? LMAO!

brendakay50 said...

Kat Stacks clearly has a learning disability. I could only take 48 seconds of watching her video, before my brain cells started screaming out in near crippling pain.

The Kiely Williams video had me for ~ 51 seconds, before my ear and brain cells pleaded with me to stop the pain. If Carolyn hadn't mentioned that Kiely was a failed Disney kid, I would easily thought this was a video from a two bit porn star looking for cross over success. Between the street ho clothes and the stroll walk, Kiely's next career stop is definitely going to include a pole and some platform lucite heels.

And I'm co-signing again with everyone's comments about the lack of shame and self worth that are being projected onto impressionable young women these days.

ConvertingMe said...

Totally agree but it goes further than Hoeing for Hotness - it basically boils down to wanting to be famous (and in their minds - rich and famous are intertwined) and not having any tangible skills except sex, loud talking, ghetto behavior that sells on tv and the willingness to shame all the people they know to get there...

melette said...

Great post! Totally agree that this mess has gotten out of hand.

beautifulcurare said...

They already wear the "Scarlet Letter" and they do so with pride...smh...I don't understand why these people are getting all this positive feedback?! Oprah? Hired as TV corespondents? Thinking they have the right to an apology? Magazine spreads (Vanity Fair? WTF?!)...I just don't understand...

Stank_0 said...

I think America has reached the "when all else fails do some ho sh*t" phase. I think the 24/7 news cycle has made this worse. There used to be dark corners where you could find this and now it is front and center.

I think deep down everyone want some degree of notoriety/fame/celebrity and this is how women are being taught to attain it. I'll admit I have dreamed of being an authority on Central Asia and having WaPo and NYT call me up for my opinion on things.

Lastly, with reality TV everyone is a "star" so the celeb-whoring will only get worse. Expect Ms. Stacks to get a TV show and a book deal.

OneChele said...

"Platform Lucite Heels" - say no more.

Sarah said...

Interesting post. I imagine being a mother of teenage daughters is a harder job now than when I was growing up. You brought up something I've wondered about. Why it is that people think s-e-x with a celebrity or a 'beautiful' person would be better than amongst ordinary people. It is like the wasted years of my life when I thought thinner people were happier. Now, having know a number of very unhappy thin people, the whole idea seems ridiculous. But you can't under estimate the influence of the images and stories in the media. Even if the intellectual side of the brain is dismissing them, the emotional side brings them in.

FreeBlackMan said...

Ya'll need to quit hatin' on hoes - what is a chick with ambition, a bangin' body and a Grade A head game supposed to do with herself? She caint go get no regular job! Come on and admire the ho hustle with me now. A chick that should be serving flapjacks and giving handjobs to the IHOP manager for overtime can elevate her game! And if she sing?! Whoa buddy!
Besides, aren't chicks like this just making you bougie chicks look that much better?
Don't shoot me, these just jokes... sorta.

Carolyn said...

Thanks everyone for your comments and the great discussions!

Jen said...

these women are a product of a society where women are not lauded for their talents as often as men are. How often do you hear them referring to a male singer-songwriter as a genius and dismissing someone like lady gaga as disposable pop trash? Often the best a female gets is that she's gorgeous, as feminists often say women aren't seen as sex objects as much as sex itself. Men are the only ones seen as full multi-faceted human beings.
Also, here in the UK there is a lot of snobbery towards women who make money through nude shoots or soft-porn and a lot of this snobbery comes from high-fashion models (who make their money from their skinny bodies wearing expensive clothing). It's easy to fall into that snobbery trap, is someone who helps sell unethical, expensive, elitist clothing saying anything better than someone selling their sexual exploits?

Also the magazines that buy these stories, they are creating a trend, they probably turn down similar stories from male hos.

I'm a singer in a band, and as a teenager who loved music, it would have been easier to stay out of the limelight and be like a groupie or a girlfriend of a musician because society doesn't encourage me to express myself in that way, a lot of the time society just wants you to shut up and support the nearest man and bitch about the nearest woman.

Jason P said...

As someone said, there's a line between sexy and skanky. I like a lady to own her own sexuality. She can be skanky with me with the doors closed (to a point). But don't put it all display. That's no bueno. And trading on it for money, well how is that ANYTHING but prostitution?
The glamorization of pimps, hos and bangers has not aided the cause. If I had a little girl, I'd lock her up till she was 25. We can still do that right?

Foxy Brown said...

big up to OneChele for bringing Ms. Carolyn to the bougie table. as a relatively young woman (27) who looks much younger, i am expected to act in just this manner. not only is that a scary thought, its downright degrading and disrespectful. so, i gotta be on a 'how-to-be-a-ho' game because of other chicks? ummm, when did that become the status quo? i'd rather not. better yet, i will not. why is it so strange that i have no children (and not looking to have any) but 3 degrees, no car (working on it) but i have a house, and i couldn't/wouldn't/won't give a rusty nickel about some ninja and what he think he can do for me? shouldn't that just be....well...regular?

bluassassin said...

I thought I was the only one that thought the guy in that video looked like he was waiting on a letter from the helath department. Eeewww!

suebhoney said...

It does appear that this is the new hustle, and when the 15 minutes are over and we are all "on to the next one" and they wonder why no one with any real substance (be it man, career, etc) won't touch them with a 10-foot pole, except for VH-1 or MTV ( but only for 1 season) and their only resort is the video girl in "lil (somebody's) low level rap video. then all of a sudden they don't know why they have become Robin Givens/Karrine Stephens 2010.

Kat Stacks-who is she? don't know -don't care. If she's telling all now-why would anybody buy her book? she needs Jesus!

Basketball wives- they are like a car wreck on the freeway. And don't you have to be married to be a wife?

Keily- she need Jesus too!!

Rielle on Oprah? Well I'm not an Oprah fan, never have been but that's how Oprah stacks her chips.. If you're not downtrodden, have been abused or have some devastating life-altering event in your life you won't be on her show- Unless you are Beyonce'

When I see this and how rampant it has become, it makes sometimes wish I had been born male.

GrownAzzMan said...

No Efficient Parenting/No Daddy Around FTW Alex.

rozb said...

My ears felt like they were starting to bleed after listening to the first "young lady". Even an Ebonics expert couldn't stomach hearing the craptastic stuff she was saying. She kept advertising her book that is coming out. Is it written with a big crayon on construction paper? Sad, sad, sad.

The second girl - Kiely - video is a HUGE fail on so many levels. Hot man - NOT! Sexy performance - FAIL! It all smacked of desperation. BTW, as a side note - this video just goes to show you should not date wearing beer goggles and vodka shotglasses. I couldn't tell if that was his butt or his forehead laying next to her in bed. SMH.

Our young women (not all, thankfully) keep confusing sexy with skanky, and it's not a good look at all. The latest trashy scandals aren't helping, with "hoes" and strippers getting fast paydays for revealing sordid details, not caring about the aftermath at all. They flame out pretty fast, and life passes them by.

Oprah has let me down having this woman on her show. Rielle Hunter has no shame, and it seems that none of these "mistresses" have any thought to others in their wake. As for Basketball Wives - I don't watch any of the "reality shows". Their lives are not reality, and just reeks of banality and idiocy. This new trend is creeping me out.

Thankfully, I have Criminal Minds and Law and Order to keep my TV watching entertaining, and my R&B and neo soul music to keep me from havng to ever listen to Kiely and her ilk. Whew - just had to get all that out...

bluassassin said...

Both of those videos were disturbing to watch. I am deeply saddened and highly pissed off to the highest pissivity that this is where society is taking our young girls. We have one girl bragging about all the guys she's been with and another promoting drunk and possibly unprotected sex. I had never seen these videos before today. I wonder how many parents of young girls even know they exist. They need to see it.

GrownAzzMan said...

Skank is certainly a hustle but I don't think it is new. The only thing that changes is the technology. Now instead of selling anonymous stories to the Enquirer you can blog it, facebook it or tweet it yourself. Sad thing is some of them believe their own hype. And don't even get me started on Gloria Allred. She should be the first to go sit down!

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