Bitch, moan, whine, wail. Work, work some more, fight allergies, take a nap, check DVR, tweet a little, write some more, eat, check the blog, argue with family, write some more, sleep. Yes indeed, for a while there my life took on an alarming pattern. And it was all a blur to me, it was all I could do to remember my name let alone figure out how I felt about the fact that my life had become a cycle of word counts, editing, creating character depth and typing until I was bleary-eyed.
So there was this weird moment Thursday evening. I had just woken up from a nap, I had a turkey BLT with a large glass of South Australian Shiraz, then I settled down in my office to just chill. I knew I had nothing urgent on my plate for Friday, my hair looked good (these things are important) and for the moment in time, I was drama free. And all of a sudden, there was this feeling that came over me. I could not identify the feeling for a moment or two and then it came to me. Clued in by the stupid smile spreading across my face, I realized that what I was feeling… was happiness.
I sat and embraced the feeling wondering if was fleeting or sticking around for a second. It seemed like just yesterday that I was shuffling around resenting my lot in life, positive nothing good was coming my way any time soon and my best days were behind me. (Wait, that might have actually been yesterday). Moving on… the point is, that happy 'the world is mine and no one can steal my joy feeling" was back.
In typical Michele fashion, I had to try and analyze where the happiness came from. There was no man, no music, no chocolate, no new shoes or big check and only a very little bit of wine involved. Those are generally the things that I can count on for some happy. This one just appeared out of nowhere and hung around.
Driving by the need not to waste time, within 30 minutes I began making lists of things I needed to do and setting deadlines. I reviewed my financial plan for the next 90 days, I reviewed my outlines for Book 3 and a short story due in June, I contemplated an article I was working on for a California-based webzine.
Shortly thereafter, I felt the happy fading. I set the to-do lists aside for a moment and decided to just write whatever I felt like writing. I caught myself smiling at the monitor while I typed up a scene that had been rattling around in my head for a while. Not sure what story it fits into but it was full of snappy dialogue and interesting subtext. I was happy again. One sure sign that I'm feeling good, I closed the office door and danced around blasting Ain't Nothin' Wrong With That:
[Here's hoping no one EVER catches my grooving to this on film, it's not pretty. More of a heartfelt expressive jam where I channel my inner rocker chick.] Anyway, I spend a lot of time on social media sites, there are a LOT of unhappy people out there. Snark is all well and good but it seems someone always wants to ratchet up their snark to the swordplay level and then things get nasty. There's a pervasive negativism that becomes infectious. I unfollowed about 30 unhappy people this week. I changed my Facebook settings so the unhappiness doesn't land in my inbox. I spent long moments on the Sprint website figuring out how to block certain text messages from ever reaching my phone. Long story short – I built electronic fences to keep the unhappy out and the happy in.
My Ah-ha moment: Could it be that when I got out of my own way and stopped overthinking every blessed thing that I was a generally happy person? Yes! Is it really as easy as just deciding to own your happiness in the moment? Yes! Clearly I won't be hopping and skipping around giddy all day everyday but I can decide to create my own happy place and live in it even for just a moment.
So I ask you BougieLand, what takes you to your happy place (keep it NC-17 please)? Are you ready for some happy? Happy Friday… emphasis on Happy! J
31 comments:
Since I'se here.
I don't think I get really up or really down. I revel in the moment for a second and then I'm already moving on. It's how I was raised. Revel in your triumph and then keep it moving to the next triumph.
I think part of it is I can't "turn my head off" if that makes any sense.
Imagining that I have angel wings {the colors vary by day} and those wings are strong enough to raise me up above anything or anyone that is troubling me. Just a few minutes of visualizing this in my head and I'm doing my happy dance.
What a great question...for a while, I had forgotten what it felt like to be truly happy and what generated the feeling. My job sucks the life out of me most days and school is really kicking my butt this semester, but then, last week my brother and his fiancee' came up to visit from ATL. I only get to see them a few times a year, so this was definantly an occasion for celebration. Watching them looking so lovingly into each other's eyes and discussing their wedding plans and talking about their future together clicked my switch. It reminded me how much the things at home meant to me. How much love means to me.
My little brother is graduating in June and he is embarking on a new chapter of life, getting married, moving to a larger city, buying a home, planning the rest of his life. He is ambitious and full of pluck and super intelligent. His wife to be is beautiful and smart, on her way to becoming a doctor and has a heart of gold.
It was the moments collected that made those four days so important and me so happy. Things were simple. We shared meals together, slept under the same roof, played games, told jokes and just revelled in each other's company.
That's what makes me happy. Being around the people I love the most who love me back.
The giggles of my children, the bubbles in my champagne, the perfect rareness of my prime rib. New shoes that fit right and make me a few inches taller, love notes from my adoring husband, my mom's hugs, my dad's dance moves, my sister's artisticness and so on. I have a beautiful and wonderful family with oh so much to offer the world and the best thing is that they all belong to me.
I'm glad you had your happy moment :-) It is an extremely important and useful idea you stumbled on in that moment. It is one of those things you can tell a person, but they don't understand until they experience or discover it for themselves. I hope you can hold on to it in the corner of your mind for the next time you go through a stressful spell like meeting a writing deadline.
My last happy moment was a couple of weeks ago when it first became warm enough to open the windows. I opened the kitchen window to let in some fresh air. I went over to the sink at one point in the afternoon and a waft of fresh air hit me and I was completely transported. I'm a visual person and what inspires me the most are things I see. I have a collection of images in my mind which I found startlingly beautiful or peaceful. When I feel like I can't take it any more, I make myself see those images. I put myself there. One of the images is of a gold finch sitting on a fence post out on the country road I used to run on the last place I lived. I heard it before I saw it and when I looked around to see where it was, there it stood with its beak pointed upward, chest puffed out, and singing with all its might. When I'm picturing it, I make myself be the bird. It makes me smile every time and gives me a sense of perspective and peace.
I love those moments when you're just happy. You have no idea why, but you are.
I love being at my mama's house. I don't get to do it nearly as much as I used to. I was there for Easter weekend -- definitely happy feeling.
One of my closest friends called me last night to tell me she's moving to the same city I'm moving to this fall. We're both going back to school. I was very happy thinking about what it'll be like to live in the same area. We haven't done that in 6 years.
But the best onset of the happy feeling comes when I just am. When I'm loving life, despite the pot holes, and happy for the people in it, despite their shortcomings.
::jig:: for happy!
I am ready to be happy. Seems as though I'm spending a lot of time not very satisfied at where I am as opposed to where I think I should be. But I'm going ot try that moment thing and see if I can't string a few of those together.
In honor of this, I'm going to break out my Kid-n-Play dance and some Patron this evening. <Too happy.
This morning I was walking to work & my face felt all weird. I was really puzzled, so I reached up and felt my cheek area. Cheekbones were on " a hundred thousand trillion" to use a Kanye-ism. I was grinning like a fool for no reason. I'm not sure what had me grinnin', but after too many days of scowling on the walk to work I welcomed it with open arms, haha.
The other day on Facebook I made a list of things that make me smile/happy and nearly all of them fell into one of three categories: my family/friends, literature/music, & mythical beings (something about those unicorns,I tell ya. Bwahaha!)
Like ASmith said, I find that my happiness is most genuine when I just allow it to happen. I don't try to tamp it down by worrying about my stressors. I have a bad habit of taking the happy moments for granted. Always waiting for the other shoe to drop instead of just basking in it.
A toast to you. I often forget to stop and live in the moment. So even though I don't always agree with what you say, I generally take my five minutes on BnB as happy time.
But what if the thing that puts some immediate happy in my life is not NC-17 appropriate?
That does make sense. Sometimes I'm exhausted but the brain won't shut down... I hate that.
Love it!
Right now my happy song is Erykah Badu's Jump Up in the Air (and stay there)
I take a dance break to get my happy on as well.
Listening to that song right now!
Sometimes I get so happy for no reason even, that if my dog is anywere near me I suddenly grab him and squeeze him tight in a big bear hug (he's a rottie so he can handle it). Or I just laugh out loud and get real antsy as if I just wanna run and jump around (old knees though, but you get the point ;)). Cooking a favorite meal, laughing with my mother, or laughing at one of my co-workers so hard, I am crying flowing tears (I work with a lot of funny crazy people!). Just realizing how fortunate I am and how great my life is makes me all...now see - I have to go get a tissue now, because I'm about to cry tears of joy...
If someone could tape you doing the Kid-n-Play and post it online, THAT would make ME happy.
Most recently, taking the few moments to enjoy BnB has made me happy, thus my decision to delurk.
The one thing guaranteed to get me to my happy place after a hard day: reading a good book. No genre required, doesn't have to be "deep." But 20 min with a good book and my brain shuts down and my troubles fade away.
I've also noticed that my random happy moments come when I least expect it and when I shouldn't be happy at all - so I choose to think of it as contentment. Living up to the meaning of my name, trying to bring beauty and nobility to the world, makes me content. I'm content in crazyness, but most of all when I stand by what I believe and what I know is truth. Being in the place I know God wants me to be and striving to be the person He wants me to be makes me content.
Happiness comes in moments.
SO enjoy those moments when they come!
I am always ready for happiness because I LOVE IT! Yes, I do. Remembering my childhood and the very funny moments with my family puts a huge smile on my face. Laughing at the silliness of myself and other people puts me in a happy mood. Also, the little things like watching my dog chase her own tail and listening to the noisy sounds of my birds chirping and watching Wipe Out on youtube, LOL. I really enjoy it and it makes your problems seem so small (it really is). It is just a reminder that life is bigger than all of us, and it not good to dwell in the negative spirit for too long; it is very draining. I tell people all the time, it is ok to cry and be sad BUT don't stay there too long because it is not worth it.
Happy Friday to Everyone!!!! :)
Aw, love it!
I just had that moment. Kicked off my shoes, took off the suit, poured some wine and sunk into my favorite spot on the couch. Laptop in hand. No plans, no drama. Life is GOOD!
I have moments where I'm laying in bed and I'm overcome by a blissful Kool & The Gang Heaven At Once moment. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJYy9S7F_GQ
My pastor calls it a quick kiss from God. Where out of the blue you feel totally at peace. If you figure out how to make that kiss last, you've got something.
Nuff said. ;-)
This is great, Chele! A certain level of harmony makes me happy. It usually includes feeling loved by others, reasonable on top of all my obligations, etc. I also enjoy making others happy.
Amen :)
Steak, scotch, sex, sleep... not necessarily in that order = happiness.
Whomever said happiness is elusive might have been right on the money. I'm one of those follks who questions those moments of happiness, and fills the need to react as opposed to just sitting still & enjoy the moment. Maybe I'm suffering from Maslow's hierarchy of need, Self-actualization.
I'm a victim of this, my BFF reminds everyday that I'm where God wants me to be. I try to get to that place but it so hard.
Gardening and plants take me to my happy place and calms me down.
Chele: I just got around to watching the video. That was hot! Thanks for turning me on to Robert Randolph & The Family Band.
Happiness truly is a state of mind. I always remind myself and the people around me of the blessings. There is soooo much suffering in the world. Keep your head up Sister. You have a gift and you are not afraid to share. For that I am thankful.
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