Friday, March 19, 2010

Barack Obama, Sarah Connor and the De-Valuation of Black Women: A Bougie Conspiracy Theory

Yes, I'm one of those. I see conspiracies everywhere I look. There was at least one other shooter on the grassy knoll, Hoffa is on an island with Tupac, Elvis and MJ, Area 51 is named that because there are 50 other joints just like that hidden around the country. Those levees in New Orleans did not fail on their own. Something ain't right with the Mona Lisa, those funky symbols on the $20 bill mean something and folks at DirecTV headquarters are probably watching me through the satellite as I type this right now. [Author stops typing to wave: Konichiwa, b*tches]

Okay, maybe I'm not THAT bad but I know a conspiracy when I see one. And I can see no other reason for the mass media siege against the sisterhood. For those not in the know (and since I've been holding back a rant on it), two more articles on the thankless existence of the African American female came out last week. One detailing how disease ridden we all are (cuz we skanky, doncha know?) and the other on how po' we is (cuz we can't keep a job or get a man). In the wake of this bullshiggitty, I have figured out the game. Stay with me, I'm about to get deep. (Or deeply disturbed, we'll see)

Watch me work these three points: In the Terminator movies, folks in the future sent back a cyborg to kill up Sarah Connor before she could birth the next generation's savior. Next, Barack Obama swept into power on a wave of hope and change. Now, folks are losing their minds that Barack is large and in charge. What would happen if a new and improved (even more untouchable) Barry 2.0 emerged in the next generation or two? The next Barry will have a black mother and a white father because we can't go back through the Kenyan Birth Conspiracy again. So how to stop the next Barry from being born? Nip it at the source. That's right, I said it. Somebody from the future is trying to destroy black women so a better Barack Obama can NOT be born.

They didn't need to send a cyborg, they sent a better weapon: the Mainstream Media Machine. Nothing is more pervasive than that these days. We don't have to be dead, just too mentally beatdown (too broke, fat, tired, diseased and angry) to educate ourselves and procreate. Okay, I'm officially cracking myself up now. I have no idea whose cute child that is in the picture above.

But come ON… there has to be a reason for all the shade being thrown. By the way, if I mysteriously disappear – ya'll will know I was onto something and "they" couldn't allow me to keep speaking truth… LOL!

BougieMom's theory is along my same thought pattern but not quite as extreme. She says it's part of the continued fear of the angry black man. To kill a monster, you cut off the head. Black women are the head and heart of the black family. Wither they goest, the family follows. Hmm, interesting ideology marrying knowledge of greek philosophy and a dose of old school "you know what it is." So wait, am I now de-valuing us by saying it's not about us at all but our men? Aw jeez. Let me move on.

Maybe I'm imagining it. Maybe we've been catching hell like this forever. It just sure seems to be coming from the left and the right on regular these days.

Tell me, BougieLand… what's your theory about all the sad-sack Black Woman news? Or, what is a conspiracy theory in general that you absolutely believe to be true? (I stand behind my DirecTV theory though)

29 comments:

Just A Girly said...

Girl, you are crazy. But some of that may be real!

LikeLena said...

On the one hand, that's hilarity. On the other... hmmm. There's definitely a pile of hot shiggity flying at us right now and somebody definitely has a targeted plan.

On the real, I've always side-eyed the JFK "official" version of events. MLK too.

Orange of the Good DisKrit! said...

Why all the "concern" by the establishment all of sudden, is a great question and was broken down over @ CLutch.com also.

Yes we have some serious issues within our community that need to be addressed but its not as if other races don't, not like they are sin and cold sore free which is ORAL herpes, so chile please!

Let us focus on being the best us we can be, on loving and taking taking care of ourselves, and uplifting each other, even if we are single, don't have a man we can claim as a husband or anything else, have less than five dollars in the bank and may possibly be taking valtrax- at least we are still standing, we may not be perfect but neither are they.
Don't internalize the negativity, just be aware, take care, and keep it moving forward responsibly and lovingly !

ASmith said...

Oh you're on to something. You.Are.On.To.Something

I actually think we're being hit by the media cause they think we were starting to feel ourselves. You see how racist acts are getting more and more bold? I mean they don't care -- cause they realize that the negroes, ESPECIALLY the negro womens (yes, womens) are starting to get a little out of pocket and it worries them.

Rush in the savior media who tells us the real on everything and the real is, "Nigra women, saddown."

Done and done.

I say it like this:

They'll deal with Barack Obama because he's half white, they remind themselves. (Though, he was black back when he was the only black Senator in the US Senate, but WHATEVER).

His wife? Oh, see that's the problem. She's allllllllll black. South side of Chicago black. Swivel her neck black. Tell you to STFU or else I'm going to beat you with her eyes black. And she's the daggone First Lady!

So, in order to remind us of our appropriate place which is the dog house, not the white house, they're going to research how much we're worth (I mean WHY are you researching that), how frequently we're married...er not married and how diseased we are. In other words "MICHELLE OBAMA IS AN ANOMALY!" She's the only one... (they want us, but more specifically everyone else, to know)

Now, you may wonder why there wasn't an all out assault when Oprah told everybody to quit eating beef and the beef industry sued her, thereby certifying her ability to make the white people do anything...

Well, she has weight issues, so, that took care of itself.

Man's World said...

LMAO at Tupac, Elvis and MJ on an island. Biggie couldn't get an invite?
I have a million conspiracy theories but none of mine involved time travel. Though now that I think about it....

ConspiracyTheoriesAre4Real said...

There has long been a conspiracy to rip apart the foundation of the black family. From the day we were brought to these shores, it's been an all out war to keep us "in our place" - this is just the latest tactic.

Inkognegro said...

What you're seeing is typical of MSM reporting. take an enormously complex situation, find a tangential snippet that taps into visceral response, and then ride that mofo into the ground.

The MSM will focus on ANYTHING that stokes response. Black Women in crisis articles stoke response AND shows concern for the minority community. Win/Win.

So they say.

Rob said...

No secret at all that the media will take whatever's has the slightest heat and flame it up in the streets. Thanks to idiots like Harvey and the like, Black Women Talk is a moneymaking venture. No conspiracy needed to see the media following the money instead of the truth.
Now... about Area 51... LOL

brendakay50 said...

He** yeah, it's a conspiracy. I have yet to meet anyone, family or friend, who has ever been interviewed in person, or by email / regular mail for any of these so-called studies about Black women. I've got a better chance of being called up for jury duty than I do of being asked to participate in some poll or survey.

But yet, there is always some fancy sounding research study from some never before heard of group calling themselves a think-tank {what exactly is that anyway?} breathlessly telling the world that I'm poor, uneducated, in debt, with a house full of kids, no husband and no job. Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong and wrong again.

Call me a conspiracy nut all you want, but one of the first things that I noticed since Barack Obama was elected President and started filling positions in his cabinet and administration with highly educated, successful Black {and Hispanic} women ~ that all of sudden these grim, depressing and extremely inaccurate studies and reports about minority women starting gaining the attention of the media.

But perhaps what hurts the most, despite me knowing better, is that someone like Sarah Palin who is a mental lightweight of the worse kind, is adored by thousands. While First Lady Michelle Obama, who is as we all know extremely intelligent and successful in her own right, is subjected to hateful, racist, ignorant comments and worse.

Queen of Swords said...

Ms. OneChel,
You are NOT crazy. The MSM machine controls what people think ( those who are less inclined to use their critical thinking skills). There's a REASON the headlines are scary and bemoan the tragedy of black women, while the truth is not half as frightening. Firstly the $5 median wealth is a distractor from the truth that, that figure includes ALL WOC , who have historically been disadvantaged by not having generational wealth like our female white counterparts. Ta-Nehisi Coates from the Atlantic covers the issue better than I could

http://www.theatlantic.com/national/archive/2010/03/study-finds-median-wealth-for-single-black-women-at-5/37395/


Regarding the second bogus piece of data which presumes we're all disease ridden, instead of being headlined are almost half of black women have herpes SHOULD be..almost half of the women WITH herpes are African American. Those are two completely different sentences, the second being truth, the 1st bad journalism. But it's not bad, if the intention is to continue to press on the negative reflection of black women. NOTHING is accidental in the media, it always has been and will continue to guide public opinion through manipulation. A former professor used to harp that being literate doesn't mean you know how to read..that's what the media is counting on.

Jasmine Girl said...

Hmphy, you sho nuff mighta stumbled right on to something. *whispers* watch yo back, girl!

OneChele said...

I started to write a post called "Where do they find these diseased brokedown po b*tches?" But I held myself back. LOL

OneChele said...

Points for proper usage of "hot shiggity"

Andrea M said...

"Media following money instead of the truth" That's the crux of the problem right there.

Andrea M said...

Naw girl, that's real - I'm dying to do how ALL of us don't know a single black women to fit their criteria yet they have found hundreds of thousands. WDDDA?

mrsrthepeach said...

Girl, you are on point. Seriously, I had to stop listening to the media. First they will convince blk women to tell all their business and tell the world how blk men dont want you. Then the media will convince you that if the blk man does want you, you will have to settle because 9 times out of 10 he will be uneducated or just released from prison or poor. Now they are basically trying to say, you know what, it doesn't even matter if a blk man don't want you, you can have a white man. Then its wait, but white men won't want you either because you all have herpes and you are dead broke.

Lies, all of it. We have to stop listening to this trash. The media has already done a number on our blk men and now they are going to destroy us too.

Just Passing By said...

LOL at the kid who LOOKS like he COULD be the next Barack Obama!

OneChele said...

It's like they want to say "Michelle Obama is the only one, don't get too excited" - Le Sigh.

Steve said...

Am I forgiven enough from yesterday to comment? Because I think there is an over all conspiracy on the part of the mass media to manipulate what we see, what we hear and what we know.
I'll go back and sit in the corner now.

LoveYourBlog said...

random question - where did you find the kidnapper's font used in the first picture?

LeonX said...

*Slow Hand Clap* Tin foil hat game proper.

AppleBerryMIA said...

I like the NPR article you shared on Twitter... it is another dimension of what you are saying: Negative Images "Brainwash" African Americans http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=124828546

OneChele said...

LOL - I know, right?

OneChele said...

It's called Anonymous Clippings from freefonts.com :-)

Sarah said...

Happy Saturday :-) It is the first day of spring and last night a couple inches of snow fell. What's that all about? Have you been getting enough sleep, Michelle? Usually when I get paranoid thoughts it is from sleep deprivation :-) I can certainly see where you are coming from. I think it is combination of media people trying to make money and acting like sheep. Hopefully, they have worn themselves out on this topic and will let it go.

YardieChicie said...

It's been Open Season on us since November 2008.

Hidi said...

I cosign 100%. You "took" the words right out of my mouth. Where did all these "statistics" come from? I surely did not take a survery and neither did my family. SMH

MotownMs said...

OneChele…I responded similarly to you on Twitter after the last blast on the sisterhood, indicating that with a strong, dynamic, intelligent First Lady in the White House, she had to be the exception and the rest of us the rule. BTW…in the April issue of Ebony there is an interesting quote from a study that has received none if any play. This study, "Myths About College – Educated Women and Marriage," for the Council on Contemporary Families, was co-authored by two economics professors at the University of Pennsylvania. They examined data from the 1950 to 2008 census and found that college-educated Black women do marry and stay married. I am sure there are other studies debunking the myths but they don't garner headlines or drive the bottom line.

niqueisnice said...

I am blaming FLOTUS! If she wasn't so intelligent, poised, articulate, beautiful, and balanced they would have left us the hell alone! Damn you, Michelle!

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