Wednesday, January 06, 2010

The Long, Sad, Bad but True BougieTale of PsychoMike, part 2

Again, this post is long. I would split it again but ya'll raised such a ruckus over having to wait for part two that I just rolled on. Here we go...

When last we visited the BougieTale of PsychoMike, Mike's "performance issues" coupled with the reappearance of Gene have raised concerns that my fairy tale path to Becoming Mrs. Bougenificent was in danger. Let's continue…

Gene (ever the slickster) invited me and Mike over the Pro Bowl in Hawaii. Mike was not stupid; he knew something was in the air even if he wasn't sure what. The month prior to our Hawaii trip was tense and went ballistic one Sunday afternoon as I stood in the hallway of the house I shared with my two roommates. We had three separate phone lines and roomie 2's answering machine had just picked up. To my surprise it was Mike. My Mike asking her why she hadn't returned his calls and if she wanted him to cancel his trip to Hawaii with me. I confronted roomie 1 and 2 (as my inner Shaquonda came out), "How long has THIS been going on?!" Roomie 2 broke down crying and said she never encouraged him, he just started calling and wouldn't leave her alone. I believed her because I've known her since age 12 and let's face it; Mike had a history of changing lanes with roommates.

I headed over to Mike's place livid. When he let me in, he knew from my expression that I knew what he had been up to. In true player fashion, he flipped the script and made it about me. Ever since I ran into Gene I was different, he told me. He felt that I was pulling away and not as committed to the relationship so he retaliated in a way he knew would get my attention. You know, just typing this I'm so angry with my younger self for falling for that bullshiggity. But fall I did… even apologized to him for getting distracted and not giving him enough time and "personal attention". We decided that this trip to Hawaii would be our re-commitment to each other and the relationship.

We drove over to my parents' house the morning of our departure and I couldn't shake the feeling that I should just call the whole thing off. We left his car out front and climbed into my dad's Caddy for the short ride to the airport. BougieDad peppered Mike with questions, "You do how to treat a lady, don't you? You do know this is my youngest daughter, right? You do understand what will happen to you if she does not come back exactly as she is today, right?" Again, in hindsight – big ups to BougieDad. What father wants to drive their daughter and boyfriend to the airport for them to do God knows what thousands of miles away? At the airport, Mike was tart. Whether it was all of the warnings ringing in his ears or what, I didn't know.

As we slid into our first class seats, we both motioned for the attendant to leave the champagne bottle with us. FYI: It's an 8-hour flight to Hawaii from DFW, ya'll. Do you know how much champagne you can consume in eight hours? Getting to Hawaii completely blitzed was probably for the best. The man with a seven-figure income had booked us into one of the cheapest, most rinky-dink hotels in Waikiki. I didn't even know it was possible to have a hotel across from the beach and not see hint of ocean. He also booked us into a room with twin beds. Ooo-kay. That set the tone for the trip. I completely understood when he walked me to McDonald's for dinner and said, "Did you bring some money with you?" that this trip was not our re-commitment but my punishment for Gene.

I was pissed. And not without a devious mind of my own. [If this was a movie, you could cue the dramatic music] The next morning, Mike arose and asked me if I would like to go with him to the zoo. No offense to those of you who are, but I'm not a zoo person. And I definitely did not fly to Paradise to go to the zoo. I declined. He departed and I went to the beach with suntan oil and books. That afternoon he came back with stories of the great restaurant he had eaten at and asked did I want to go hike Diamondhead. Since I was dressed in cute sundress with sexy sandals, I snapped the obvious, "Do I look like I want to hike?" He shrugged and left.

Enough was enough. I paged Gene. (yes, this was pre-texting days, folks) He scooped me up and took me on a driving tour of the island in a convertible with the top down and music playing. He took me to Pearl Harbor (every American should go at least once) and then out to eat. When he dropped me off at the hotel, it was early evening. Mike was in the room pacing. "Where have you been?" "Sight-seeing," I responded with a smile, "I took a guided tour." "Well, get dressed, we're going out to dinner." I showered, changed and got dressed up thinking we were back on track. He walked me down the street to the Denny's. Come on, ya'll. I'm not a snob but Denny's? In Hawaii? "For real tho?" I asked him. He just looked at me.

I was done. I turned around and walked by myself back to the hotel. I ate in the hotel dining room and went to bed early. The next morning when I woke up he was in swim gear. "Going scuba diving, are you certified?" I just looked at him. He shrugged and left... again. I didn't even have to page Gene this time; he was down in the lobby when I went in search of breakfast. We headed over to the North Shore for more sightseeing and a little shopping. This time, I didn't even bother to check back in. I got back to the room after dark. I showered and changed. He came in shortly after and headed straight to the shower. While he was in there I wrote a note saying I was going out and wouldn't be back until late. Yup, I bailed.

Here's where the story goes surreal. After drinks and dinner, I headed out with Gene and his posse to a nightspot in Waikiki. Boyz II Men were headlining a party for the players. I distinctly remember being directly in front of the stage getting my jam on when Shawn stopped singing mid-verse. His eyes were huge as he looked behind me. The place went silent and the sounds of a ruckus started up. "I know she's in there shaking her two-timing ass – let me in!" Mike was at the door and they were not letting him in. He wasn't on the guest list and no one knew who he was. I inched backwards out of his line of sight looking all parts of guilty. Boyz II Men were looking right at me cracking the hell up. Not one of my brighter moments. Mike was sent packing, Shawn went back to singing and I danced for another hour and a half. [Is this the part of the story where I should apologize for my behavior?]

Slinking back into my hotel room, I showered and crawled into my little twin size bed. Thirty minutes later I awoke with the feeling that someone was standing over me. Probably because someone was. It was Mike. He had a strange expression on his face as he stood staring down at me. You've heard the expression "dead eyes" – yep, it was that kind of vibe. After what seemed like a very long time, he leaned down and whispered, "I could just choke you in your sleep, you know that don't you?" He smiled, turned and walked back to his bed. WTF?! The minute his head hit the pillow he was back to sleep. I was not. I lay there for another ten minutes and then quietly started tossing necessities into an overnight bag. I didn't even dress. I grabbed some stuff and broke out. No way would I sleep in the same room with PsychoMike. I dressed in the elevator and paged Gene when I got to the lobby. He arranged a room for me at the Pro Bowl hotel and had a limo outside in 10 minutes to take me away (no idea how he did that).

The next morning, he arranged for one of the Pro Bowl Linebackers to escort me back to the hotel to get the rest of my stuff including my airplane ticket home (back in the days of the paper ticket, ya'll). PsychoMike was in the lobby with a picnic basket and a blanket. "So can we have breakfast on the beach and talk for a minute?" He asked. When someone threatens to choke you to death in the middle of the night, what is there to talk about? But in order to facilitate the removal of my plane ticket from his possession, I played along… and brought the linebacker with me.

Long story short, PsychoMike said he didn't remember threatening to kill me in my sleep and I must have dreamed it. He was hoping we could spend the rest of our vacation time re-connecting. Ri-ght. I offered to swap him his Pro Bowl game ticket (which I had) for my plane ticket home (which he had). We agreed. Linebacker helped me pack up my stuff and I didn't see PsychoMike again until we were forced to sit next to each other on the plane ride home. [awkward] BougieDad picked us up from the airport, took one look at our faces and said nary a word. He dropped PsychoMike off at his car and then drove me home. As we pulled up he said, "So that's the last of him, huh?" "Pretty much." I said and went inside.

I wish I could tell you that that was the end of PsychoMike but he and I danced around each other for a while longer in a dysfunctional and strange 'what's in this for me' dance. We were engaged for about 72 hours (I still have the ring… before ya'll jump in - he told me to keep it, and since it's a flawless 3 carats and I truly believe I earned it, it is sitting in my jewelry box to this very day). Then he moved to D.C. and I moved to San Francisco. He came out to San Francisco uninvited and brought his priest so that we could attempt reconciliation. [People you CANNOT make this stuff up]

Somewhere in here, me and former roomie #1 had a massive disagreement and mixed in with all the drama was the story that I had stolen PsychoMike from her the minute her back was turned. I disagreed and said that I had probably done her a huge favor. The last time I saw PsychoMike was 4 years ago at the Tyson's II Galleria in the DC area. I was coming down the escalator from Macy*s and saw him coming into the mall by P.F. Changs. I ducked and dived like a CIA operative and then hid in Ralph Lauren until he went by. I was so paranoid that I ordered my food to go and hotfooted back to my room at the Ritz and did not emerge until morning. To exorcise a demon or two, I did Google him tonight. As I expected, he's super-wealthy and successful. I saw no mention of wife or kids. But I was surprised that he hasn't aged as well as I expected. (Is that catty of me to say?)

Okay, everybody exhale. Now we have the whole tale… Thoughts? Comments? Sympathy? Censure? Lessons learned?

40 Bougie Thought(s):

glamah@cococooks said...

OMG! So crazy and sad. Thank goodness your other friend was there. McDonalds and Dennys? Pluuuzzzzz!

puregoldlady said...

Wow. You really cant make up stuff like this. I read part 1 a couple of weeks ago and am glad I came back for part II. What an amazing story. I was saying "wow" practically the whole time and did not find it too long. It was entertaining to the very end!

Great tale!

onesoutherndiva said...

You don't officially spout into full-blown womanhood without having a least one certified crazy in your past. You should be proud to know you truly earned your stripes all thanks to PsychoMike!

Nadette@Eat, Read, Rant! said...

Chele, that is some crazy ish! part of it is down right laughable, exept of couse when he threatened to kill you. The lesson I learned, which you and another girlfriend have taught me through example: trust your instincts. if something is off, keep it moving, and move quickly.
and LMAO at you duckin and divin like a CIA opertative. funny, but then again, not so funny. and i would've done the same. smh

BendLikeBent said...

So you meant LITERALLY Psycho.

Sarah said...

Sure glad you got out of that one without bodily harm. When I read the part about your going back to the hotel room, I thought ... no.., no..., no... There are plenty of rich well-dressed men that harm their girlfriends or wives. I wish there was a test for crazy, but it seems the really troublesome ones are also the slickest. I've been manipulated enough to know that although it generally looks obvious in retrospect it is often much less clear when it is going on. And kudos to your Dad. I'm betting he was worrying the entire time you were away on that trip.

ASmith said...

I like to play the anticipation game with your stories. Like "on a bougie scale of 1 - 10 with 1 being any random escapade-esque story about Gene and 10 being the story about ol' boy curled up crying in the tub, how bad will this be" and I was so wrong. I had this pegged at about an 8, cause you know, how much worse can it get after you find out he has testicular atrophy? And while that's no fun in the sun, it ain't a grown ass man crying in your tub.

Obvi, I was hella off and OBVI this story has become the new 10.

What in SAM HELL was going on with this dude? "I could choke you in your sleep"??? Ummkay, sir. UMMKAY.

L. Michelle said...

So, he tried to talk to two different roommates?
How much older was he than you? (Sorry if I missed this)

You're a good one because I think I would have bailed if not at the sight of the twin beds, surely at going to McDonald's *L*

Foxy Brown said...

i thought i was the only one who did that. when i read about dude crying in the tub, i was like damn, can't get any worse than that. but you are so right, this is definitely the new 10.

lawsoncomp said...

I guess you understand that in retrospect you shoulda bailed after the club incident if not a little sooner. Yikes!

lawsoncomp said...

Have you optioned these stories for your own HBO series? Candace Bushnell ain't got nothing on you Gurl!

smartgirl said...

What a story! Hindsight is always 20/20 but the fact that he waited so long to tell you about his ED was a huge red flag suggesting serious character issues. I agree that you should approach HBO they are always looking for innovative stuff.

Leon X said...

I cannot lie. I skipped major paragraphs of your story to get to the cray-cray. Please forgive me.

OneChele said...

You are forgiven. The story was heckalong ;-)

OneChele said...

Ya'll crack me up ranking the BougieTales.

Sasha Stiletto said...

Choke you in your sleep? Boyz II Men? Catholic priest - this is classic Bougie gone Bad!

OneChele said...

Seven years older. McDonald's as date is most certainly a dealbreaker.

Lady Loves Hats said...

I have to cosign with what someone said yesterday - the fact that you still in the game swinging is something all too special. I would have shut it down and joined the convent after this one.

OneChele said...

I find myself on "Man Hiatus" from time to time. It helps.

Curly Sue said...

She is lucky she had somewhere/someone to bail to. I had a similar experience when my ex-So decided to go crazy overseas but I had nowhere to go and not enough to do anything. I ended up pleading with the airline people to let my fly home early for only a $50 fee. I find it telling that the crazy comes out when you are over 1500 miles from home

Lady4Real said...

I second this emotion, I would so watch 'Bougieland'.

Lady4Real said...

I have one word for all of these shenaningans.....WOW.

OneChele said...

Shenanigans is an excellent descriptor.

beautifulcurare said...

Wow....It's a blessing that that you were able to get out of that hotel that night...I try not to test crazy people and staying there after that wouldn't have been an option.

LMAO @ him taking you to Mickey D's...and wanting you to pay for it? I mean, it's bad enough this is where you decide to take me for dinner, but then you can't even pay for it? Daaaaaang homie...

I won't even touch on the roomie situation, lol...

OneChele said...

Definitely blessed to be able to tell the story

OneChele said...

never had roommates again that weren't related to me. nuff said.

Man's World said...

You are EXTREMELY lucky. A friend of mine from college went away with her crazy-assed fiance to Mexico never to be heard from again. We assume he killed her but CSI Mexico is not ready for primetime apparently.

AppleBerryMIA said...

I'm curious as to how the PsychoMike experience changed you or your dating outlook?

OneChele said...

Excellent question. Read tomorrow's post ;-)

Cassie said...

Crying dude in the bathroom is still pretty high up though. So far the only one of her exes that I like is Gene.

AppleBerryMIA said...

So glad you're here too!

Stank_0 said...

Honestly, I expected worse. The threat was bad enough but for someone to get a "psycho" label... I expect stalking, restraining orders, following you home/to work/out on the town/ etc, family members to subtly "warn" him, and much more.

Either way...you're past it.

I Am Me said...

Aw shit. That fool went round the damn bend. Is that what ED does to you? Not joking, just wondering if that didn't severely affect his behavior. Glad he gone.

Grace said...

I don't know I think the middle of the night threat warrants a psycho label. That's just enough crazy for me. Thankfully she got out before it escalated to restraining orders or police action

MochaMuffin said...

Definitely interested in that.

MochaMuffin said...

LOL on Man Hiatus

MochaMuffin said...

But well done!

Reecie said...

I'm saying! more than enough crazy for me!

Wow @ this story. Glad you survived to tell it, chica!

Page Bartlett said...

the club scene alone is worthy of a Lifetime Movie of the Week

Sarah said...

Speaking of Boyz II Men, I was at the bookstore during lunchtime and heard a song playing that I thought sounded like them. It was a remake 'If You Leave Me Now.' So I had to google them when I was back at the computer. I see that they have a new album out. Considering how the rest of your trip went, I really wouldn't have wanted to be in your shoes. But I would have loved to have seen Boyz II Men in concert. I hope at least that little bit of the trip was a plus. Some where in the 90s, I had their albums on repeat and their version of 'Yesterday' is one of my all time favorites.

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