Some of the BougieTales from the ExFiles have been humorous, some crazy, some sad, some just plain fun. What they have all be for me, are lessons learned. Each experience shaped me into who I am today, for better or for worse. So when asked if I would have skipped any of the experiences, I say, "Probably not." Many of you (so very many) have asked how the PsychoMike Experience affected me and my approach to relationships. Here's a brief list of what I changed after knowing PsychoMike:
- I became determined to get my own sh!t. I was borderline obsessed about being successful in my own right so I would not be dazzled by someone else's accomplishments
- I stopped believing that everyone had my best interests at heart
- I realized that when it comes to men, sometimes your girlfriends are not your go-to people for advice.
- I tend to live in the reality of now instead of the fairy tale of what's next
- I go HR Recruiter on folks, I will background check a brother in a heartbeat if I think it's warranted
- I listen a little more intently for hidden meanings in a person's words and actions
- Being Mrs. Somebody became less important than owning Ms. Michele
- I never date anyone who has shown the slightest interest in a friend of mine (and will walk away with the swiftness if I think they do)
- I remain a romantic at heart (Lord knows how that's possible!)
- I always have a way home, a charged cell phone and my own round-trip ticket J
What's the best lesson you ever learned from your worst relationship?
17 comments:
From my worst relationship, I learned that if everything is in place but trust and respect aren't - it will never work.
I don't know how you remain a romantic at heart. Good for you. I'd say the main take-away from my last relationship which was definitely the worst is a version of number 10: always have a way out. And in fact, I have extended that to all aspects of life including jobs. And I'd say a version of 1 and 2 is one of the conclusions from 45 years of life: you'd better have your own back because you can't count on anybody else to have it.
Sad, sappy but true - love does NOT conquer all.
In my last relationship I learned that it 'takes two to make a thing go right', and if only one person is working then it won't work. I also learned that you can't change people, take them for who they are or leave them alone. I also learned that I can always depend on me, my family, and tomorrow. (tomorrow is a new day and a fresh chance).
I am blessed to say that in my 42 years of living, I do not have a "worst" relationship experience. For the most part, each of my four long-term relationships have been good. I do not have any horror stories of mistreatment, infidelity, or neglect.
Still, the most valuable lesson I have learned is that trust and respect are essential for a happy partnership.
Hmm, I need to adopt some of your learned philosophies for myself.
Hopefully, you took a self-defense course or two as well. Folks is crazy
Um. Wow.
The best lesson I ever learned was when it's time to be out, it's time to be out and there isn't anything you can do about that. Sitting and waiting for Jesus himself to come down and say leave is stupid. Just go.
I seriously wish more people would actually take the time to evaluate what they learned(or should have learned) from their last relationship before moving onto the next one.
AMEN!
Smartest thing I learned is that you cannot make yourself love somebody. Either it's there or it's not. And when it's gone, it's gone.
I learned to duck when shit starts flying.
I learned to trust my instincts and not overthink.
Sometimes it is what it is.
Now this is the realest statement right thurr.
This is the truth all up and through. Love does not conquer much at all, in fact. It's important, but it's its own little thing.
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