Monday, November 30, 2009

My First Book Review (apparently I rock)

Monday morning dawned bright and early with emails from my publisher and agent: my little book, Heard It All Before, was reviewed by Publishers Weekly and they liked it. The book was picked up for sale by Amazon, Borders and Barnes & Noble to name a few… allow me to take a moment to say, "WOO HOO!"

From Publishers Weekly:

Grant's scorching debut follows the pursuit of love and happiness for Dallas girls Jewellen Capwell and Renee Nightingale and their possibly very significant others, Roman Montgomery and Gregory Samson. Marriage appears to be the golden goal, but, of course, the path to their respective altars is strewn with obstacles. For Jewel, a North Dallas girl of some privilege, it's her ex-boyfriend and Roman's preference to live in Big D's South Oak Cliff "hood" close to his clingy ex-wife and his son. Renee and Greg's Achilles heels are their roving eyes, leading to big trouble when each finds someone else to pique their amorous interest. Grant depicts their dilemmas with a pitch-perfect voice, delivering funny yet believable stories embellished with a gusto that readers who enjoy Carl Weber and Mary Monroe will relish.

So if you haven't taken a moment to visit Michele Grant's World to register for news and updates, check it out! And now, back to our regularly scheduled program…

When your “sexy text” goes really, really wrong: A BougieTale of EPIC FAIL

And now for your reading pleasure, an open letter to a dude I am no longer dating as of Friday night… yes, another one.

Hello dude,

It's me. The girl you texted "Happy Thanksgiving, boo" to on Thursday even knowing how much I hate to be called boo. Very minor. Not an eject-from-the-game infraction though fringing on side-eye worthy behavior.

Yet and still, we were all well and good until Friday evening's dreadful text. Yessir, right up to the moment I received that unfortunate communiqué, you were still in the top three on the PSO (Potential Significant Other) candidate list. I wrote this post right after our interaction so as not to misquote or misrepresent you in any way. It was 8:52 p.m. when I received your first test:

You: What are you up to?

Me: Hanging at home with family. What's up?

You: Do you want to come over and Lewinsky me?

Me, reading twice to make sure that's really what I read. Among other (many) issues with this text, it's just not everyday you see the word Lewinsky used as a verb.: Um, no. Has ANYTHING about me indicated that I'm THAT chick?

You: No, but no harm in asking, right?

Me: Plenty of harm, actually.

You: Lighten up. Take it as a joke then.

Me: **crickets** (meaning I sent no reply to that)

You: Problem??? I know you're working out, I wanted to help with your protein intake. J

Eww and ick. Too much to say for text, I hit the dial button: You've lost your mind, huh?

You: Get a sense of humor.

Me: And you're quickly losing whatever shot you had with me.

You: Take it as a compliment.

Me: Getting an offer to be your chickenhead du jour is a compliment?

You: Hey girl, I called you first!

Me (short-tempered): You #@$% called me first?!

You: Ya mad?

Me: There are women you date and women you text on Friday night to get Lewinskied. You put me in the wrong #@$* category!

You: Just for tonight, we can date tomorrow.

Me (incredulous): I. Am. Speechless.

You: Jeez, it's just a [tacky synonym for Lewinsky]. That's not even real sex, just an appetizer! I can speed dial one of those any day of the week, sweetheart. Don't even sweat it.

Me (after strategic pause): Good to know. Listen, [insert Shaniqua-style invective-laden rant with really shameful abuse of the English language here]. And you may lose my number. CLICK.

So, after reviewing the nonsense you said/typed this evening can you think of any reason why I should continue any flavor of relationship with you? Take your time, I'll wait. Hmm, what's that? No, you really can't. Me either. You sir, may kick rocks.

Peace Out, homie. ~OneChizzle [yeah, I had to go old school]

As any good blogger would, I typed up this post immediately and sent out a tweet: "Dear Lord, please forgive me for the cussing I broke off on this man this evening. I will attend church on Sunday and blog it on Monday. AMEN." There followed a lively Twitter exchange about timely blogposts, spoiler alerts and nunneries. (You had to be there) Thanks to LeonX, TiffanyinHouston and ASmith86 for talking me down.

POSTSCRIPT: At 5:14 a.m. (the HELL?!), my cell phone started ringing. I reached over and pressed ignore. Then it started buzzing. I ignored it. And then it beeped three times signaling an urgent text (yes, from now on I will be turning off my cell at night. If you don't have my home number, we're not that close). I picked up the phone and squinted at the screen, it was old boy: "Couldn't sleep at all tonight. Don't know why I said what I said. My bad. Did I blow it with you?" I flung the phone to the side and turned back over. Five hours later after his SIXTH text, I wrote back: Why don't we just say we are not what the other is looking for and leave it at that? Haven't heard back from him.

So here's what's up. OneChele is officially on dating hiatus (again). I actually do have two other gentlemen (I'm assuming they're gentlemen) auditioning for the role of PSO right now but I'z tired and weary. Need a little recharge-Chele-time cuz my bouge is sagging to the left and the right. Maxwell's clone could show up at the door singing about taking me away to Aruba and I'd have to respectfully decline right now. [Yes, I'm side-eyeing my damn self on that one].

But never fear, BougieLand… I still have years and years of drama-filled BougieTales yet to share. And on that note, come on now – any man over the age of 35 sending random-ridiculous texts like that deserves the swift kick. Am I right or am I right?

Friday, November 27, 2009

Raise your Califomia Merlot up: It's "My Girl C's" Birthday


In the collage above are some of the many things I wish for my girl C on this milestone birthday. Always intellgent, dashingly refined and witty... my girl C was one of the first to truly welcome me and stick by me during my California high-rolling (and rock bottom) days. Ms. C has a smile that will dazzle, a tongue that can slice, and a side-eye to rival mine. Classic Berkeley chick with a New York shine [so flaky but sharp with it ;-)], C is just good people.

She is one of those rare, loyal friends who is truly down for whatever, no questions asked, "girl whatchu need". Her laugh is a joy to all who hear it. She has been known to enjoy a good book, a deep movie and a glass (or two) of merlot. I hope you have enjoyed her comments here on the BnB and if I have my way, she'll be guest-posting one of these fine days. Raise your glass up for a true class act: My Girl C. Happy birthday, my friend. (Next year, Bali or back to Maui?)

Trying not to hate on… Black Friday

I'm a girl who loves to shop. Window shop, power shop, little browse or stock up for a rainy day – I love to shop. So why, Black Friday are you determined to suck the fun out of it? Sure, I don't HAVE to go out there on the craziest day of the year… but then again I really do. I have to make sure I'm not missing something fabulous. But I have to make sure within reason. So, Mr. B. Friday – I have a few questions for you:

  1. Why do you have people believing the hype and waking up at 3:00am to get in line at Wal-Mart for a $35 laptop? You know you only have two of those and 4,500 over-caffeinated people are about to storm your doors to get it. Quit tripping.

  2. Why do these stores not hire enough additional workers? Yes, we're in a recession but people must shop. I don't care if I'm only purchasing one pair of $5 drawers from Vicki's to get my free gift with purchase, I don't believe I should have to wait 35 minutes for it.

  3. Why are people so darn pushy? I mean like-snatch-the-boot-out-of-my-hand pushy. Girlfriend, don't let the bougie fool you – I will CUT you over some stack heel buttery leather size 8 ½ joints in black. Try me and see.

  4. Who are you fooling with some of these sales? Macy*s, bless their heart, has a one-day only sale every other week unless you are just opening a side window and throwing purses, shoes and apparel out the window, not sure how much more you can do.

  5. Why do we even go? It's like getting sucked in by the hype. We truly believe this is the best shopping day of the year and if we miss it, we should just lie down and drink arsenic.

  6. Is it bad that I rarely buy Christmas presents on Black Friday? I usually take the opportunity to stock up on stuff for me and the house. I'm sure I should feel bad about this somehow.

Usually BougieMom, BougieSis and I venture out around nine or ten (none of that four AM nonsense). We shop with a plan and a purpose and more often than not… a list. Yes, we are those people. We attack shopping with guerilla warfare precision and follow a few rules:

  1. Breakfast first, you'll need all your energy and brain food.
  2. Buy what you can afford, and only what you can carry yourself.
  3. Walking shoes only, you fall out you will get left behind.
  4. Know what you want, we will not be wandering from store to store.
  5. No tears in shopping, if we missed the noon cut-off for the extra 30% off – it just wasn't meant to be.
  6. Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate. Sometimes the parking gods aren't with us and perspiration is involved.
  7. No kids allowed, this shopping expedition is for the grown, serious and toilet trained.
  8. No body no crime: mess with the BougieWomen at your own risk – we will fight back (or shred you with our razor sharp witty tongues)
  9. No discount, no purchase – I don't believe in paying full price for much of anything.
  10. If we find most of what we want at brilliant prices at the first store, that's a sign and we're done OR When we are so hungry we are irritable, it's time for a break or time to stop.

So who's with me? Who's shopping today? Why and what are you getting? Who believes Black Friday to be the most overhyped "pseudo-Holiday" of the year?

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Trying not to hate on… how cute the First Family is.

President Barack Obama with daughter Sasha, First Lady Michelle Obama, and daughter Malia, distribute food for Thanksgiving at Martha's Table, a food pantry in Washington. November 25, 2009.

I'm sure the Bushes did this and I just didn't care enough to pay attention. Sorry G-dub. Seeing this picture puts quite a smile on my face. First Fam for the win! (Look at how hard Barack is concentrating on getting his scoop right... love it!)

And for some more fun... here's the President's PSA with the NFL for Play 60, a program encouraging kids to get up off their vide0-gaming hindparts and play actively for 60 minutes a day. The commercial also features Drew Brees, DeMarcus Ware and Troy Polamalu. Enjoy~


Happy Thanksgiving to all!

Trying not to hate on… Pilgrims

Somewhere along the way, Thanksgiving became a day to eat a lot, watch football, and try not to commit felonious assault against your relatives. Yes, this is what we have evolved Thanksgiving into, but let's talk about where it came from, shall we? From Wikipedia:

Thanksgiving or Thanksgiving Day, presently celebrated on the fourth Thursday in November, has been an annual tradition in the United States since 1863. It did not become a federal holiday until 1941. Thanksgiving was historically a religious observation to give thanks to God, but is now primarily identified as a secular holiday.

The First Thanksgiving was celebrated to give thanks to God for helping the pilgrims survive the brutal winter. The first Thanksgiving feast lasted three days providing enough food for 53 pilgrims and 90 Indians. The traditional Thanksgiving menu often features turkey, stuffing, sweet potatoes and pumpkin pie. Americans may eat these foods on modern day Thanksgiving, but the first feast did not consist of these items. On the first feast turkey was any type of fowl that the pilgrims hunted. Pumpkin pie wasn't on the menu because there were no ovens for baking, but they did have boiled pumpkin. Cranberries weren't introduced at this time. Due to the diminishing supply of flour there was no bread of any kind. The foods included in the first feast included duck, geese, venison, fish, lobster, clams, swan, berries, dried fruit, pumpkin, squash, and many more vegetables.

Pilgrims is a name commonly applied to early settlers of the Plymouth Colony in present-day Plymouth, Massachusetts. Their leadership came from a religious congregation who had fled a volatile political environment in the East Midlands of England for the relative calm & tolerance of Holland in the Netherlands. Concerned with losing their cultural identity, the group later arranged with English investors to establish a new colony in North America. The colony, established in 1620, became the oldest continuously inhabited British settlement and the second successful English settlement (after the founding of Jamestown, Virginian 1607) in what was to become the United States of America. The Pilgrims' story of seeking religious freedom has become a central theme of the history and culture of the United States.

That all sounds well and good but as our dear, departed Malcolm X stated, "We didn't land on Plymouth Rock, Plymouth Rock landed on us." What a lot of these original (traditional) historic accounts fail to tell you is that the pilgrims were some grave-robbing, raping and killing, slave trading SOBs who were drop kicked out of their own countries. Smallpox was Eurpoean disease until they wrapped it up in a blanket (literally) and delivered it to Native Americans like a Trojan Horse. Here's some interesting history from the United Native American Bureau:

The year was 1637.....700 men, women and children of the Pequot Tribe, gathered for their "Annual Green Corn Dance" in the area that is now known as Groton, Conn. While they were gathered in this place of meeting, they were surrounded and attacked by mercenaries of the English and Dutch. The Indians were ordered from the building and as they came forth, they were shot down. The rest were burned alive in the building.

The next day, the Governor of the Massachusetts Bay Colony declared: "A day of Thanksgiving, thanking God that they had eliminated over 700 men, women and children. For the next 100 years, every "Thanksgiving Day" ordained by a Governor or President was to honor that victory, thanking God that the battle had been won.

The Pilgrims of New England, who came to this country in 1620, were not simple refugees from England fighting against oppression and religious discrimination. They were political revolutionaries and part of the Puritan movement, which was considered objectionable and unorthodox by the King of the Church of England. They were outcasts in their own country, plotting to take over the government, causing some of the settlers to become fugitives in their own country.

These Puritan Pilgrims saw themselves as the "chosen elect", from the Bibles' Book of Revelations and traveled to America to build "The Kingdom of God", also from Revelations. Strict with the scripture, they considered an enemy of anyone who did not follow suit. These beliefs were eventually transmitted to the other colonists, and the Puritan belief system quickly spread across the New England area.

Source: Documents of Holland, 13 Volume Colonial Documentary History, letters and reports form colonial officials to their superiors and the King in England and the private papers of Sir William Johnson, British Indian agent for the New York colony for 30 years. Researched by William B. Newell (Penobscot Tribe) Former Chairman of the University of Connecticut Anthropology Department.
Yes, the Pilgrims were some Original Gangstas, ya'll. I'm giving all of them the side-eye for the whole "manifest destiny" ideology. After reviewing the overwhelming evidence on the web about the history of Thanksgiving, I'm just going to go ahead and hate on the Pilgrims.

What do you think? Should children be taught the REAL story of Plymouth Rock or is it better to just leave well enough alone?

Raise your Turkey Trot cocktail up: Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving to all. Enjoy your time with friends and family or if you are celebrating alone, I'm thankful you took a moment to stop by Black 'n Bougie.

This year I'm thankful for my health, my sense of humor, my friends, family, football, and my creative mind. I'm thankful that in about thirty days, a lifelong dream will be realized with the release of my first book. I'm thankful for every person who takes a moment once a day, once a week, once a month or even once in a lifetime to read my ramblings. I'm even more grateful for those that ramble back at me. J

One of my most vivid Thanksgiving memories happened in the early 90s. BougieDad had prepared the majority of the meal and we were starving. The Cowboys were playing Miami and we needed this win to get a step closer to going to the SuperBowl in back-to-back years. It was a frigid day. We had a fire going and it was snowing in November for the first time in years. We were waiting to eat until the game was over. If anyone has ever seen footage of the infamous "Leon Lett Snow Ball" game, you know what happened. Basically because of a bonehead move by Mr. Lett, Miami won in the last few seconds of the game. We sat there like someone had just deflated the balloons at our birthday party. We shuffled to the table and sat there looking more glazed over than the duck when Dad started laughing. "Look at how I've raised you kids, the Cowboys lose and you've lost your appetites. Come on now, those boys didn't pay for any of this meal or put a roof over our head this year. We have a lot to be thankful for." We laughed and snapped out of it and went on to enjoy the day. Lessons learned.

So take a moment and be grateful for the gift of life, the pursuit of happiness and all that good stuff. You are appreciated.

How to make a Turkey Trot:

1 part bourbon

2 parts 7-Up

2 parts cranberry juice

Mix everything in a highball glass and drink on the rocks.

What are you thankful for this year? Do you have a Thanksgiving memory to share?

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Trying not to hate on… Big Warehouse Stores the week of Thanksgiving

Dammit Walton Family. Yes you, Sam's Wholesale Club. You know I'm trying not to hate this week. But no! You don't wanna act right. You just couldn't make it easy on me. Last minute Thanksgiving shopping should not be a living nightmare. Okay sure, I should have bought this stuff over a week ago… Don't. Judge. Me. I'm not the issue here, it's your big concrete and steel warehouse full of nonsense that is the issue. So I have a few questions:

  1. Why is the parking lot hassle enough to make me wish I stayed home?

    Pulling in and finding a spot should not be as difficult as winning the lottery though both feel pretty futile. Holiday parking should be a competitive sport covered by ESPN. The person to snag the spot closest to the door without injuring self or vehicle wins.

  2. Why is the Salvation Army chick so pushy?

    Is it me or have the bell-ringers gone a little gangster? Sheesh! I understand it's for a good cause and all that but how do you know I haven't given at the last FIVE stores I went to looking for whole grain stuffing mix? I could be all tapped out and on my last dime and you are still going to laser beam side-eye me on the way in and shout out a snarky "Happy Holidays to you, ma'am" on my way out.

  3. Why is there a line just to get up in the door?

    Dear Membership Card Checker Person, we both know you don't care if the picture on this card belongs to me or my dearly departed 97-year old Aunt Vi. As long as my card is approved at the end of the day, you gives a damn. So why you trippin' on the entrance. Just wave folks in and say "Welcome to Sam's", could you please?

  4. Why were people playing bumper cars with the carts, is it that crucial? Do we look like we are going to take the last can of cranberry sauce?

    Apparently it was crucially important that two melanin-challenged people get in the door and to the cranberries prior to BougieSis and I. The dive-bombing was a bit much and the blatant swerve and cut-off was inexcusable. Calm down people, it's just jellied fruit.

  5. To the lady who looked insulted when we took the celery she was apparently coveting… what's wrong with your life that you are so focused on celery?

    Seriously, first she stood angrily waiting while we debated the need for three bunches of celery. Then she gave us a nasty stank-eye when we selected the one package she apparently wanted to take home with her. You know what, if your stuffing isn't all that it can be because of your celery deficiency, feel free to blame it on the two bougie chicks who slowed you down for 45 seconds.

  6. Excuse me miss, I just overheard you say it's just you and your husband? What are you planning to do with 6 jumbo cans of super-sweet corn and 2 ten pound bags of brown sugar?

    I don't really know what else to say about that except somewhere in the distance, some is putting SuperFreak on repeat. They giving thanks for real.

  7. What is the deal with the gallon size containers of anti-bacterial hand gel? [H1N1 fear is the truth!]

    On our way to check out we noticed a towering display of gallon tanks of "germ-b-gone" or whatever they want to call it. Good Lord! If this was all it took to stay alive, don't you think we'd all be bathing in it morning and night? As our checkout girl shared, people have been catching colds and flus for years yet the human race is still here. [yeah, checkout chick went all existential on us]

  8. Why did we spend more on wine than we did on actual food? [priority FAIL]

    We bee-lined straight to the wine section and spent more time and money there than anywhere else in the store. We must have weighed the merits of merlot vs. pinot noir for a good five minutes while the cart was crying out for some sort of poultry.

  9. We see you have moved all the "fun" toys to the front of the building, near the checkout lanes. Do not be slick. Are you trying to create family disturbances just for fun?

    Kids became transfixed just as their parents were ready to get the heck out of Dodge. It's a recipe for tomfoolery and prologue to catching a CPS case. Not a good look, Sam's.

  10. Why is the receipt review lady perpetually pissy?

    I would have to say that 85% of the time I shop at this Sam's the Jamaican woman at the exit door is salty. Her tartness was at an all time high today and she muttered to herself and walked in a staccato circle while reviewing the contents of the cart. "Have a nice day!" I said in a friendly tone as we began to push past her. If looks could kill, the forensic investigators would be fingerprinting the Sam's door right now.

Did you do your Thanksgiving shopping early or last minute? What's on the menu? Who's cooking? Does anyone share my love/hate relationship with warehouse megastores?

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Trying not to hate on... Michelle Obama looking GORGEOUS for the State Dinner

The picture above shows the Obamas prior to the first State Dinner of the 44th Presidency. With them are Prime Minister Manmohan Singh and his wife Mrs. Gursharan Kaur. Mrs. Obama's dress was designed by Indian-American designer Naeem Khan. Why is she 45 looking better than a lot of 30-year olds? Do you see her arms? The earrings? LOVE IT!


Why do they look like they are having more fun than anyone else in the room? After all these years, they still have that spark. Performing at the White House tonight are Jenmifer Hudson, A.R. Rahman (an Oscar winner who helped create some of the music for the film "Slumdog Millionaire.") and Grammy-nominated jazz vocalist Kurt Elling, and the National Symphony Orchestra under the direction of Marvin Hamlisch.

Okay, I'm hating a little bit. She looks great and it looks to be a lovely evening for all.

Trying not to hate on… Beyoncé and Jay-Z

Why is everybody so mad at Bey and Jay? Why ya'll hatin'? Every time one or the two gets mentioned, folks have a whole lot of yackity-yack. Sure her hair lives it's own life, she has developed an irrational fear of pants and he resembles Joe Camel but is that any reason for the amount of bile and anger directed at these two? Sure, they are little over-cautious and super-secretive on that whole "we're married and we live together" thing but can you blame them? They do not want any additional scrutiny then they already get.

Let's be clear about something, they make pop music. That means popular. Neither of them promised to save the world through music, re-invigorate R&B or bring Hip-Hop back to the real. They call themselves entertainers and let's face it… they really are. Whether you agree with Beyoncé's singing style or the freshness of Jay's rhymes, you cannot deny that they put on a good show. Come on now, check out this video and tell me it's not at least a little fun (damn tune is catchy as hell), '03 Bonnie & Clyde:

People tend to have a "love-her-or-hate-her" relationship with Ms. Knowles-Carter, I tend to flip-flop. I love the hustle but lately her songs have kind of left me lukewarm. This was the last song of hers that I actually really enjoyed (like pissed off how many men by blaring it in the car enjoyed), Irreplaceable:

Mr. Sean J. Carter tends to get mixed reactions as well. Some hip-hop purists feel like he sold out, some younger rap fans feel he's past his prime but I just think he makes decent tunes (for the most part) that I can rap along to without looking up every other word in the Urban Dictionary. I know people who hated this song with a passion but I found it quite infectious, Show Me What Ya Got:

Let's just be honest with ourselves, folks are hating on Mr. and Mrs. Carter because they live far better lives than most of us can dream of… and I dream pretty big. We wear clothes, they own clothing lines. We listen to records, they own record labels. We enjoy scents, they are creating custom colognes and perfumes with their names on them. We sit by a pool, they are cruising St. Tropez on Tiger Woods' yacht. We talk about the White House, they get invited in. Okay? Be happy black people got it like that in 2009 and quit hating. Unless you want to hate on Jada and Will, I could rustle up some arguments for that one.

Do you love or hate the Carters? Why? Is there another celebrity you love to hate? Do explain.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Trying not to hate on… the First Amendment

This week on BnB, I'm trying not to hate. We're all about the love. But since I mentioned it, there are a few things that are testing my pleasing personality. Here we go…

I'm all for the Constitution – woo-hoo Bill of Rights! But the thing about rights in a democratic society is that people tend to abuse them. Here in the blogosphere, it's no different. Lately, while reading other blogs and comments on other blogs (not here in BougieLand, we're all good) I catch myself thinking… free speech ain't meant for everybody. I mean it IS meant for everybody but some people need to just hold it in check.

I know it's horrible to say and I feel a little bit (but not very) bad typing it. But before I go further, let's go into some definitions.

The First Amendment to the United States Constitution states:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

From Wikipedia: Freedom of speech is the concept of the inherent human right to voice one's opinion publicly without fear of censorship or punishment. "Speech" is not limited to public speaking and is generally taken to include other forms of expression.

E-freedom, a combination of the words "electronic" and "freedom", refers to the right to freedom of opinion and expression through electronic communications technologies media such as the internet and telecommunication. These open, virtual, and decentralized network media provide individuals the unprecedented paths for dissidents, share ideas, critique government actions, publish, and access information.

Alright, now that we know what we're talking about, allow me to repeat… not everyone's ready for all that freedom. If for no other reason than to protect my nerves for being jumped on; I cannot help but wish that some people would self-censor. Aw OneChele, why ya say that? Let me give you three reasons why:

  1. People can be SO rude! I don't know if it's because the internet is relatively anonymous and people have cajones grandes when posted up in front of a monitor and keyboard but some people use their anonymity to get real out of hand on these internets. I completely understand that everyone is going to be of one mind on issue and truthfully, I wouldn't want them to be. But what is wrong with respecting a differing opinion and agreeing to disagree? [Author's PSA: just because someone does not agree with you does not make them stupid. Granted, they may well be but not merely because they deign to have a differing viewpoint.] If I had a dime for every time someone shared an opinion and then got blasted by some self-righteous commenter, well – let's just say I'd be retired to my private Caribbean island by now. AverageBro had a series called "The Problem With" last week that was very well done.


  2. People can be SO stupid! Not here in BougieLand, we're all brilliant in our own special way but have you SEEN some of the ignance out there? I can't even call it ignorance, it's too stupid for the "o" and the "r" to be included. All you have to do is visit Newsvine and scan the first ten comments on any article. Just at a glance, I saw Obama compared to Chavez in Venezula, I saw a mother concerned that New Moon would turn her child to the occult and a person claiming that Shaniya Davis got what was coming to her. What in all that is holy is wrong with people? My Aunt Violet used to say that common sense just isn't common any more but when did people stop thinking intelligently for themselves? I won't go into how poorly people express themselves. I stumbled into an extremely popular black website (that I won't mention cuz I don't need blog beef) that caters to a more, um – street crowd and I was in wide-eyed open-mouthed amazement at what I read. Not only were the articles slapped together and poorly written, the comments were off the chains. It was seriously like reading a different language. Please people, I'm begging you – try and communicate like you have beyond-pre-school education. My 5-year old nephew is running rings around 92% of those folks.


  3. People can be SO negative! What's wrong with putting a positive spin on a story every once and a while? What's wrong with saying something nice? Particulatly in the blogosphere, it seems that the only way to draw crowds of people to your site is to tear down someone else. Every other day, there's an episode of Black Bloggers Fight Club in Twitlandia and every single news story, no matter how insignificant is dissected and torn apart so someone can drain the last ounce of "snark" out of the witty jar. Newsflash folks – there's a fine line between sarcastic/snarky and cynical/bitter. And as for the comments, as I stated in number one – if you can't get your point across without the blatant rudeness, you're just not thinking hard enough. Now of course, we don't have anybody like that here in BougieLand and I'm grateful for that because I'm not really in this for the fisticuffs. Not everything is rant-worthy. Sometimes you just want to share a story or an opinion or just be plain silly. I understand that will not land me on the Top Ten Black Blogger's List but if ripping other people apart is what it takes to get there, no thank you.

Whew, I feel better with that off my chest; we can resume regular programming here in BougieLand. Tomorrow, why I'm trying not to hate on celebrities (and NO I don't mean Sarah Palin).

So tell me the truth, is it me or not everybody cut out to open their mouths (keyboards) and freestyle?

Trying not to hate on… the AMAs

This week, I'm trying not to hate on things. I'm really going to try. And yet, for some reason I attempted to watch the American Music Awards last night. And here's what I have to say about that:

  1. It's official. I'm old. Old, tired and confused. I kept having to tweet people to ask, "Who is that?" At least I wasn't alone when the breakthrough artist was announced as Gloriana. Who? Yeah, some bluegrass folksy foursome of Caucasian young uns out of Nashville. God Bless them.

  2. Note to Black Eyed Peas: Screaming while jumping up and down to a slamming beat does not great music make. I'm just saying.

  3. Jermaine has GOT to put the black shoe polish spray down. And the Vaseline. Thay main was just glistening from head to toe. Not a good look. We're sorry you named your son Jermajesty, but that no reason for him and your other sons to rock that glisten "Babyface-from-the-Deele-days" hairstyle. That's just wrong.

  4. Ladies have completely abandoned pants. Short skirts, onesies and unitards ruled the stage. Parents: don't let your girls grow up not to wear pants. There is nothing to fear in covering your thighs.

  5. Mary J Blige and Janet brought their A-games. Listen and learn youngsters.

  6. J. Lo is no longer relevant. Her entrance was the best thing about her performance. I did laugh a little when she fell out… girl you someone's mama now. Put some pants on and GO. SIT. DOWN.

  7. Whitney is proof positive that prayer does wonders. All jokes aside. She looked great and sounded okay. She's not what she was but she's better than so many of these starlets out there.

  8. And speaking of starlets- Rihanna looked like an extra from Escape to New York meets Mad Max and Wind Up in Armageddon. Hot mess. She sounded just as bad.

  9. Thick chicks are back in style, ya'll. All manner of thigh, hip, booty and tummy were visible. Go head and get bootylicious. <- - - I apologize for using the word, I lost my head.

  10. I couldn't (and can't) shake the feeling that Jermaine and company are capitalizing on MJ's death. When was the last time any other Jackson but Michael or Janet was even invited to the AMAs?

  11. Lady GaGa scares me. That is all.

  12. Random presenters bug me. Seth Green and Samuel L Jackson why?

  13. Jay-Z is not apologizing for being a grown-up. He wore an impeccably tailored white Tux and changed into an impeccably tailored black tux. Just cause he's in hop-hop does not mean he need to be forty in a wife beater and sagging jeans. We appreciate it. And he KILLED his performance with Alicia Keys. (Note to Alicia – you should have wrapped for the night and stayed in that black suit)

  14. Green Day owns the angry rock anthem. No one else needs to try.

  15. I understand neither Timbaland's new song nor his new diet. Both were unfortunate failures.

  16. Damn some Taylor Swift, she ain't all that.

  17. I miss Kanye.

  18. I don't understand Adam Lambert's closing performance; it was Phantom of the Opera meets New Moon right before it turns into gay porn.

  19. I didn't know half of the "celebs" in the audience.

  20. It's official. I'm old. Old, tired and confused.

So in conclusion… the best performances of the night went to Jay, Janet, Mary and Whitney. The rest of you all are excused. Seriously, just go somewhere. Uh-oh, did that sound like hate? How about we call this constructive criticism for the betterment of all mankind?

Did anyone else watch? Observations? Loved it, hated it? And if you didn't watch, aren't you glad I'm here to share J!

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Healthcare clears another hurdle: Dems to Repubs, “BRING. IT. ON."

*For those not in the know, this infamous quote came from Sheree, one of the Real Housewives of Atlanta.

Majority Leader Harry Reid got all up in those Republican hind parts today as this country moves one step closer to enacting universal health coverage for every citizen. Digging deep into the guilt bag, Harry stated, "Imagine if, instead of debating whether to abolish slavery, instead of debating whether giving women and minorities the right to vote, those who disagreed had muted discussion and killed any vote." OH SNAP! We playing the slavery card now, Harry? Pulling out all the stops, equal rights and all that? Go 'head on, do whatcha gotta do. That's a wee bit gangsta though… LOVE IT!

From Associated Press:

WASHINGTON — Invoking the memory of Edward M. Kennedy, Democrats united Saturday night to push historic health care legislation past a key Senate hurdle over the opposition of Republicans eager to inflict a punishing defeat on President Barack Obama. There was not a vote to spare.

The 60-39 vote cleared the way for a bruising, full-scale debate beginning after Thanksgiving on the legislation, which is designed to extend coverage to roughly 31 million who lack it, crack down on insurance company practices that deny or dilute benefits and curtail the growth of spending on medical care nationally.

At the White House, press secretary Robert Gibbs issued a statement saying the president was gratified by the vote, which he says "brings us one step closer to ending insurance company abuses, reining in spiraling health care costs, providing stability and security to those with health insurance, and extending quality health coverage to those who lack it."

The legislation would require most Americans to carry insurance and provide subsidies to those who couldn't afford it. Large companies could incur costs if they did not provide coverage to their workforce. The insurance industry would come under significant new regulation under the bill, which would first ease and then ban the practice of denying coverage on the basis of pre-existing medical conditions.

Congressional budget analysts put the legislation's cost at $979 billion over a decade and said it would reduce deficits over the same period while extending coverage to 94 percent of the eligible population.

At its core, the legislation would create insurance exchanges beginning in 2014 where individuals, most of them lower income and uninsured, would shop for coverage. The bill sets aside hundreds of billions of dollars in tax credits to help those earning up to 400 percent of poverty, $88,200 for a family of four.

The House approved its version of the bill earlier this month on a near party line vote of 220-215, and Reid has said he wants the Senate to follow suit by year's end. Timing on any final compromise was unclear.

All 58 Senate Democrats and two independents voted to advance the bill. All 39 votes in opposition were cast by Republicans. GOP Sen. George Voinovich of Ohio was the only senator not to vote. Montana Sen. Max Baucus, the chairman of the Senate Finance Committee who has labored on health care for more than a year, flew in from his home state on a government plane for the vote and was returning afterward to be with his ailing mother.

After the Senate returns from Thanksgiving break, expect all matter of tomfoolery spirited debate to begin. Experts estimate that barring any unforeseen hurdles, the bill should be ready for a huddle-up with the House in four to six weeks. Come on Congress, all I want for Christmas is some Universal Healthcare! [okay, I want more than that, but go with me on the artistic metaphor.]

I somehow expect the ReThugs to drag this out in the most painful process possible. I'm already wincing at the bullshiggity they are about to drop on C-SPAN. Worst quote of the day came from Sen. Kit Bond (R-Mo.), "Move over, Bernie Madoff. Tip your hat to a trillion-dollar scam." Le Sigh at this crass and poorly-chosen analogy. Just Le Sigh. Congrats Kit, you got your sound bite and still lost. Now GO. SIT. DOWN.

Today's actions bring us one step closer and for that I say – It's Cocktail Hour on Capitol Hill. Harry was beaming ear to ear, hugging and kissing caucus members like Santa Claus came down the chimney early. Ya'll wouldn't get with me on Nancy cabbage patching to Run this Town. How about if Harry could just get the Dems lined up for the Cupid Shuffle (which by the way, ain't nuthin' but the Electric Slide repurposed) and put some Wale Let It Loose on the loud speakers. No? Anyway, one small step for the Senate... you know the rest.

Any thoughts on today's win?

Friday, November 20, 2009

Worst. Date. Ever. It’s your turn to share

By now, you all have heard enough of my bad date BougieTales to write your own blogs. And what's truly amazing is that I have not even shared my "worst date ever" story yet. No, we have not hit rock bottom yet. That experience involved a trip to Hawaii and a gentleman (using term loosely) that me and my friends unabashedly refer to as PsychoMike. Even though it was a four day excursion into the bowels of hell, I feel fine referring to the entire incident as one bad date.

Ironically, my "best date ever" story involves a trip to Hawaii and a completely different guy. Don't. Judge. Me. I happen to love Hawaii. Again, another four day journey. But on this trip the word paradise was more of a state of mind than a location and I literally boo-hooed when I had to get on the plane and go home. Ah memories. But both of these experiences are for another post and another day. Maybe the next Relationship Week?

At any rate, it's time for me to turn the microphone (keyboard) over to you. Today is your turn, dear readers. Answer one or all, but tell us something!

  1. Briefly, what was your worst date ever? Why?
  2. Did the relationship survive the bad date?
  3. In hindsight, is there anything you could have done to avoid the experience (or make it less horrible)?

As I always, thanks for dropping by… you are appreciated.

Bougie Travel Tip: Check out Black Atlas


For those of you who haven't known me long (admittedly most of my readers), my love for American Airlines is legend. Oh yes, they've done me wrong a time or two but for the six straight years when I was on a plane at least three times a month, AA was my joint. Whether jetsetting overseas or hopping a 30-minute flight to LA from San Fran, I was on some American Airlines. I worked for a company whose preferred travel partner was United and still I posted up on American. I have over 1,000,000 (yes that's a million) miles on that airline.

And now American Airlines is reaching out to the African-American community with an interactive blog/website called Black Atlas. It is touted as "Your Passport to the Black Expereince". Heading to Toronto for New Year's Eve or wanna listen to jazz in Minneapolis? This site will give you tips and tours and traveler content galore. Author Nelson George is a "travel expert at large" offering insight into cities such as Miami in the embedded video below.

There's an extremely cool feature that allows you to preview fares from city to city. You are encouraged to write in and submit sotries about the locations and you will notice some familiar names from the blogosphere listed as contributors. If you get a second, check it out!

Thursday, November 19, 2009

An Open Letter: I’m sorry but your player card has been revoked


Dear Dude from Last Night,

It truly pains me to inform you of the following: I have submitted my evidence to the International Player-Player Association's (IPPA) membership advisory board. You will be receiving a certified letter later this week informing you that based on last night's wackness… your card is being revoked. Herewith. Immediately. Before you decide to appeal the decision (good luck with that), please review the infractions listed below:

  1. When you call less than an hour before a date and say, "Instead of going to the movies, why don't you come over and watch a movie?" why would you think a woman can't see through that? Any female over the age of 18 recognizes that. In the words of Riley Freeman (from the Boondocks), "Game recognize game and you looking kinda unfamiliar right now." #PlayerFail


  2. When you call a female on her way to meet you and say, "Just swing by and pick me up," and you own two cars (and this is following call from number 1), your transparency is bordering on pathetic. Why not just call up and ask for what you really want? That way said female can tell you "yea" or "nay" up front without all the subpar gamesmanship. #PlayerFail


  3. When you invite a woman into your home, it's not a good look to have your laptop open with a screensaver of random women in various stages of undress. Especially when I can recognize that most of the pictures were taken right in the room in which I was standing at that moment. #PlayerFail


  4. You invited a woman into your home and did not clean up from the last one? Why is her Victoria's Secret Miracle Bra hanging on the bathroom door handle? Don't even try it… I know it's not mine because 1) I have not removed a bra in your vicinity and 2) I need no miracle to enhance my girls. #PlayerFail


  5. Next time you pick a movie, why don't you double check the time it starts so we don't have to hover around the theater for a half hour waiting for it to start. Oooh, you never really planned for us to get to the theater… okay, I just got that. Still, you know what – tighten up your plan B. #PlayerFail


  6. Once you determine that your current date isn't going as planned, it's really poor protocol to commence texting and accessing your Facebook mobile app trolling for someone else to "close the deal" <--- yes, I saw you type that in. #PlayerFail

Presented with the evidence, the IPPA had no choice but to demand an immediate revocation of your player card and reset your Playa Status to: No Game At All. Your letter will include instructions on how to re-apply and upgrade your status. As for your application with OneChele for Potential Significant Other, I must report that you are no longer considered a viable candidate and we have decided to move forward with other more qualified applicants at this time. Also, we are unable to keep your application on file and you are not eligible to re-apply. We wish you success in your future endeavors.

Sincerely,

OneChele

P.S. Thanks for the movie and popcorn, 2012 was very entertaining. I felt the entire disaster movie theme was apropos. Deuces!

Bougie News Round Up: Freaking Palin, Weaping Ryan, Bows and Onesies

It's that time again… here for your reading pleasure, a quick look at what's going on in the world this week:

The Alaskan Hustle: Say-Pay is back. Not much has changed. She's still talking out of both sides of her hindparts and it's still all about her. Oprah did a relatively fluffy piece with her which apparently everybody in the free world watched. She has a book to sell and an agenda to pursue and heaven forbid she lets the truth interferein all of that. I've made very clear my feelings about this woman and it irritates me that I'm forced to treat her as someone with true national impact. As a writer, I can't even tell you how insulted I am that her book is on the New York Times Bestsellers List. Basically, I stand by my earlier plea: will she ever just go away? P.S. No, I don't care about her daughter's baby daddy nekkid PlayGirl spread either!


No Crying in Football: For goodness' sake! After losing five of their last six games, the coach of the New York Jets broke down in a players meeting. Apparently, Rex went all emo in front of his team Monday because he's being true to himself. I'm sorry… I can't. You cry in football when you are wheeled off on a stretcher, you cry in football when you win the SuperBowl… beyond that – there's NO crying in football. As a matter of fact, there should be no crying in the workplace… period. What kind of motivational tool is that? Not a good one since his act made some players uncomfortable. Can't say as I blame them. Tears are not the first thing one things of in a fearless leader directing the battle plan.


It's called PROTOCOL, people: On President Obama's recent trip to the Pacific Rim, he bowed in a sign of respect to Emperor Akihito. The wingnuts went all crazy as evidenced by the fact that Dick Cheney waded in with his unwanted opinion (aligning for 2012 much?). No one of reasonable sensibilities thought he weakened the U.S. position in East with a quick and humble bow to the Emperor. I don't supposed it has occurred to any of you wingnuts that if we (Americans) showed a little more respect and quit "ackin' all extra" folks would be less incline to plot our demise? What the heck is wrong with being likable and respectful? How about we try that for a minute. By the way, if you really want to see left-wingers and independents mobilize, please trot out Cheney for the 2012 nomination. We need another old guard, shady, shift, gun-toting Thuglican like we need another Chernobyl incident. So to all of those who are just looking for ANYTHING to whine and complain about regarding BHO, I would ask… respectfully that they STFU. Please and thank you.

Why, why, WHY?: No less than sixteen people sent me the link to this video. Problem is , I don't love the song and I'm not a Lady Gaga fan so getting an exclusive peek at Beyonce and Lady Gaga swishing around to this song, Video Phone did nothing for me. Well, let me take that back, it did elicit some sympathy for Gaga who just looks completely overmatched by Beyonce. Love Bey or hate her, she looks good. Side eye to the outfits. I really don't know why she's abandoned pants.

Any insights, thoughts or opinions into these stories to share? Any other news?

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Hashtag Wednesday – #DonchaHateItWhen

For those of you not versed in Twitter (stay away, it's getting ugly), people tend to accentuate their chatter by adding a topic or a phrase to the end. You tie the topics together by placing a "#" (called a hashtag) in front of it. For instance, if I sent a tweet that said "Sarah Palin is an opportunistic idiot", I could add #IHateSayPay somewhere in the tweet. If enough people typed #IHateSayPay into the Twitterverse, it would become a trending topic. Then people would do a search for #IHateSayPay and every tweet with this topic would display.

One epic trends was #HeyWhitePeople. Prompted by a blogpost that stated that Aftican-Americans were "infiltrating" Twitter and if others wanted to "study the culture" they should jump on "Twitter after dark" - it does goes a little cultural by 1:00am eastern. Anyway, as you can imagine, some folks took offense and decided to share "insights" through the use of the #HeyWhitePeople trend. Our boy Riley wrote: #HeyWhitePeople: I don't need reparations for slavery, I need reparations for the ish you did last week. Classic! Another trend from over the weekend was #CelebrityPerfumeNames where people suggested names celebrities should name their next line of perfume such as Apology by Kanye West, Rehab by Britney Spears, or Alaskan Musk by Sarah Palin. #Donttrytoholla keeps coming back, as in #Donttryandholla if your breath arrives before you do.

Well, now that you're familiar with the concept, we can all participate in the good times here in the blogosphere. I present to you the inaugural Hashtag Wednesday on BnB. We'll start with things that drive me crazy…. Doncha hate it when:

  1. #DonchaHateItWhen: people cannot spell simple words like "there" versus "their". I'll chalk up one for brain stumble. Two for fast typing. But the third time is a problem and the fourth is a habit. People that don't know the difference between "your" and "you're" drive me crazy also

  2. #DonchaHateItWhen: someone really wants you to like something (song, food, TV show) and even though you don't, they just keep trying to make you like it? (please stop playing Bruce Springsteen – I have tried and cannot do it)

  3. #DonchaHateItWhen: people make sweeping generalizations: "Black women always…" or "Why do all men..." Please quit that.

  4. # DonchaHateItWhen: women act like a man should pay their bills even though they only know what he looks like horizontally, naked and in the dark. Please stop the skanky.

  5. #DonchaHateItWhen: men act like they deserve sex because they bought you a dinner and a drink? Fellas please see horizontal chick above for all that.

  6. #DonchaHateItWhen: someone drives a brand new Escalade but lives in their mama's basement. Own something or live within your means.

  7. #DonchaHateItWhen: the person you're talking to won't let you get a word in? Pause, take a breath consider that I may have a response to your river of words

  8. # DonchaHateItWhen: men act like they don't hear you talking to them? [stern side-eye, I know you hear me!]

  9. #DonchaHateItWhen: someone gives you the silent treatment? Okay, I am guilty of this one

  10. #DonchaHateItWhen: someone spits when they talk. Do they not see the moisture flying?

Well, I feel fairly certain you have a thing or two to add to the list, and no you don't have to use the hashtag. Comment as you will…

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Tuesday Short Rant: Breast Examination & Mammograms

Fresh off a great Breast Cancer Awareness Month, we were slapped in the face by the announcement that women should wait until age 50 to get a mammogram and should quit all the self-examinations. [insert outraged pause here]. From HuffPo/AP:

NEW YORK (AP)- Most women don't need a mammogram in their 40s and should get one every two years starting at 50, a government task force said Monday. It's a major reversal that conflicts with the American Cancer Society's long-standing position.

Also, the task force said breast self-exams do no good and women shouldn't be taught to do them.

For most of the past two decades, the cancer society has been recommending annual mammograms beginning at 40.

But the government panel of doctors and scientists concluded that getting screened for breast cancer so early and so often leads to too many false alarms and unneeded biopsies without substantially improving women's odds of survival.

"The benefits are less and the harms are greater when screening starts in the 40s," said Dr. Diana Petitti, vice chair of the panel.

The new guidelines were issued by the U.S. Preventive Services Task Force, whose stance influences coverage of screening tests by Medicare and many insurance companies.

Um, yeah – I will have call a flag on the play and shout bullshiggity on this whole thing up and through here. You are now saying that not only should women wait to get a mammogram but they should not do self-exams? The HELL? Now I am from a medical family, father and brother both physicians BUT what I hate about these so called "medical panels" is that they tend to talk out of their asses. There was a time about ten years ago when a new study was coming out weekly about what caused cancer: bacon, strawberries, Equal, white bread. Over the course of the next five years, each of those studies was contradicted by differing studies. Remember when oranges were the superfruit? Now it's pomegranate or açai berry? This leads me to believe that beyond the big three (cigarettes, asbestos and genetics), folks have no clue where cancer comes from or how to prevent it.

Why wouldn't you recommend something that aids in awareness and prevention? Who is this "task force" to tell women not to check themselves? I smell an insurance company hustle. The days of the free "Well Woman" exam are about to be thrown under the bus.

Kathleen Reardon, a professor at USC, wrote an article for HuffPo called
I'd be dead by now – The New Breast Cancer Guidelines. An excerpt:

I'd be dead by now if it weren't for breast self-examination. And had my doctor been less convinced of his own guidelines regarding women without a known history of breast cancer, my cancer would have been detected earlier and I would have been treated sooner and less aggressively. I was 32 years old.

The latest research is one more piece of information for the decision process women must make each year regarding mammography. That's it. If breast self-exam gives you greater peace of mind, no set of guidelines should deter you from it. If someone in your family found a lump in her breast that turned out to be breast cancer, what a team of doctors and researchers tells you is simply one piece of advice and perhaps irrelevant to your situation.

They are researchers looking at numbers. You are a person they do not know. I have high regard for many of the doctors weighing in on this subject, but let me bring it back to you, your wife, mother, sister, or friend. Anecdotal information is valuable. It is part of the larger picture. You also need to know yourself. If you're more interested in being sure than worried about being scared, find yourself a doctor who agrees with you. And get the mammogram recommended by the American Cancer Society before the insurance companies take that option away.

One other question: Where's the study on men not needing a prostate exam? [insert stern side-eye here] The American Cancer Society reports that the breast cancer death rate has been going down over the last fifteen years, they attribute this primarily to early detection. Damn the panel, check it yourself and get it checked if something doesn't feel right. What did ya'll think of this story?

Five questions, five answers with OneChele

Instead of a full-fledged episode of Ask a Bougie Chick, I'll just take a sampling of five questions I've been asked recently and answer them. Then I expect each of you, dear readers, to do the same. Yes, let's all hold hands and sing Kumbaya… it's Getting to Know You Day on BnB:
  1. What did you want to be growing up? A writer?

    Not really. Even though I always wrote short stories, I wanted to be a lawyer. I watched re-runs of Perry Mason, LA Law and The Practice, you could not have told me that I wasn't going to be tipping into court every day in my red power suit and pumps giving the business to criminals. Right up until I actually got a chance to see what practicing criminal was really about… hated it. It wasn't all sexy courtrooms and blistering closing arguments. I fell into Human Resources, then consulting and decided to give writing a go. Here we are.

  2. Is your favorite color purple or is this just the template you picked for your blog?

    Yes, purple is my favorite color. I'm downright stupid about it. If there is an opportunity to buy something in purple, I will do it. I actually picked a generic template for the blog and "purpled" it up a bit… a lot.

  3. Can you share an embarrassing moment?

    Must I? Okay, right after college, I was dating this law enforcement dude and we were bickering a little bit while driving to his parents house. He warned me (three times) to stop needling him and I really wouldn't (young and stupid), so he pulled over to the side of the road and got out. He came over to my side of the truck, opened the door, picked me up and set me down by the side of the road. Then he politely set my duffel bag and purse beside me and took off. I stood there looking at the truck waiting for it to turn around. It did not. Fifteen minutes later, I really had to pee (keeping it classy). I walked up the road to a clump of bushes and went wading in. As I prepared to relieve myself, I heard something rustling and then coming towards me. Looking over to my right was the longest, meanest looking snake I had ever seen. I shrieked and ran back to road, jeans still down around my knees. On the one hand, he had come back and was idling on the side of the road waiting for me to re-appear. On the other hand, that pee thing was no longer an issue. Can you imagine how pleasant the rest of the weekend was?

  4. Is there something about you that you would call "ghetto-fab"?

    Hmm, maybe my love of hot wings with hot sauce and ranch dressing?

  5. What is one thing that your significant other would do that you consider to be a dealbreaker?

    Infidelity, hands down. Been there, done that… wrote the blog, called bullshiggity.

Okay BougieLand – it's your turn, keep the answers short and sweet, answer one or answer all:

What did you want to be growing up and are you that now?

What is your favorite color?

What is an embarrassing moment?

Something non-bouge about you to share?

What's your relationship dealbreaker?

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